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 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 1
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?Page 1 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
I overheard this conversation while playing poker the other day. Some guy was telling his buddy about this date he had. Seems he spent quite abit of money on this date and got "nothing in return" ( his words not mine).

He was saying that if a woman accepts an expensive dinner from a man, She is pretty much obligated to put out at the end of the night. If not she has broken some kind of unwritten rule.

Now i have no idea of what he looked at as expensive, But i am guessing anything over a few hundred dollars. If a woman accepts such a dinner from a man, is she them obligated to have sex with him?.

Have any of you women encountered this kind of man?
Can a woman be guilted into sex over an expensive dinner?
Would a man really accept guilt sex from a woman under those circumstances?

Honestly is there guys out there that have this kind of mentality?
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 2
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:39:03 PM
Transparent butterfly is correct... I had went to meet this nitwit for a soda...He ordered himself some fungus cover burger that I could not stand seeing him eat... Of course I was trying to be really polite...

Talk about someone that is clueless to human behavior... He complained that I didn't look at him most of the time, and asked me why I was so insecure... ME???? I think not...No snob, but I certainly don't have a problem looking at someone I find interesting at the very least.

I couldn't wait to get out of there... Before leaving he asked me if he was going to my place, or was I following him to his place...

I wanted to vomit...

Yes, BV there are men who think if they buy you an expensive dinner, a cheap dinner, a soda, some how you are obligated to put out... In fact several weeks back this guy had it all planned out that I was supposed to bed him because he was nice to me... NOT EVEN...

He was upset, and complained that women who ask for things to slow down aren't interested in him... Then he went on to make himself really desirable, and said it usually happened AFTER they slept with him...

LOL, I'm thinking I spared myself a heck of a lot of misery of a bad experience if that is his typical experience...
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 3
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/11/2008 8:11:55 PM
"several weeks back this guy had it all planned out that i was supposed to bed him because he was nice to me"

Wait a second, what's the point in being nice to a woman if you don't get her clothe off in the end?
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 4
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/11/2008 8:24:35 PM
Hell no! Just being allowed in my presence is compensation enough. But if I cook a fabulous dinner, I expect a lil sugar for mama.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 5
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:10:45 PM

Wait a second, what's the point in being nice to a woman if you don't get her clothe off in the end?


LOL, I did say how he THOUGHT he was being nice, just that HE thought he was being nice, and that by the third date, I would be putting out.... I told him whoa to fast for me, he flipped his wig, and said later...

Funny part was he had a creepy level going on by the second date, that I most certainly didn't have the heart to say it was never gonna happen...

He thought he left, saved me from hearing another whoa is me the Nicest guy you will ever meet" story...

As far as if a person is nice, they get my clothes off... Yeah, take a lot more than that to go there....Guess it all depends on what the END means
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 6
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:06:18 PM
Ah-uh, yeah, right ~rolls eyes~ Does this guys knuckles happen to drag the ground? He's a Neanderthal. And yes there are men out there who subscribe to this way of thinking, if you can call it thinking. And he says, "pretty much obligated to put out"?? Does he tell his dates this BEFORE or AFTER the expensive dinner? I wonder? He must not be able to get any _action_ with his personality, charm, wit, attraction.......oh, but from what you say, he HAS none, so, has to rely on expensive dinners to get his _action_? Poor man ~rolls eyes again~. Moron.

I would never accept an expensive dinner on the first date, whatsoever. And not at ANY time can a man make me _feel_ obligated to have sex for ANY reason. If anyone attempted and I say ATTEMPTED to TRY to make me feel that way, first they couldn't, but IF they tried, I would leave them in my dust without a word, hands down, period................holding the tab for the bill if they tried to pull that one on me. But I've never been treated in that manner either, I'm no idiot.

Sounds like this guy shoulda just picked him up a "pro" and ditched the dinner. That way he woulda been sure to have had sex............

I think it depends on who the woman is also. Some women (and men) are guilted into just about anything I think. I know people like that.
 SwampHunter
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 7
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:46:24 PM
What a load. If I take a lady out for a nice meal - it's because I want to - not because I expect anything in return but the pleasure of her company. She owes me nothing, and I never let a woman pay on dates unless she absolutely insists on paying her half and I mean INSISTS, which I have had happen a time or two.

OP, the guy you're talking about is obviously a knuckle dragging jackass...

Mark
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:30:47 AM
Not unless there was an agreement to that effect before hand. Really, if a guy expects to ``get something'' for spending money, he should simply hire a professional so he has no chance of being disappointed. Moreover, if the reason he's spending money is to get laid, hiring a professional will accomplish the result for far less money.
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 9
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:46:48 AM
"Not unless there was an agreement to the effect before hand"

you mean if the woman was a dinner whore? I mean only a dinner whore would even think for a second to make such an agreement.

Why don't they just eliminate the middleman(the restaurant) and he can hand her the money directly, saves them both some time.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 10
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:08:04 AM
I have a girlfriend who met a guy who bought her a muffin at a first meeting. He expected a return on his "investment". Yes, a muffin. Now that was one pathetic guy.
 e 24
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 11
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:22:32 AM


^^^^^ Nah... a cup of coffee is just a blowjob.


~~~ Would you like cream or sugar with that? ~~~




 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 12
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 6:27:30 AM
Honestly there are some women that make a habit of taking advantage of guys on dates. I read a thread here on pof written by a woman who says, She not only expects the man to pay for her date, but she also takes money from him for her babysitter.
 gazingatmars
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 13
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:24:32 AM

So, if we live in an age where men and women are equal, then why aren't more women taking men out and doing the planning, and paying? This would eliminate the entire problem of men expecting sex after paying for a meal.. It would be nice to sit back, do nothing, be picked up and taken out all on you for a change.. Atl east try it once, get rejected, and see how you feel..


I think more women than you might think are doing this. I've picked up a date and paid for our meal before. I imagine I can't be the only one...

Gazing

PS That would have to be one damn good coffee!
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 14
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:28:36 AM
"I've picked up a date and paid for our meal before. I imagine i can't be the only one."

Lets be honest here, at the end of the night you were expecting to take advantage of the poor guy right.... Now comes the million dollar question, After shelling out all that money, did you get a chance to find out if he wears boxers or briefs?
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 15
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:46:01 AM
I would not spend a lot of money on a woman for a single event ( such as dinner ) until after we had dating for a while. By that time, I probably would have already had sex with her.
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 16
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:01:39 AM
Bloom i am not cynical at all actually. Honestly i will admit to this. If an attractive woman buys me an expensive dinner, and at the end of the night expect some kind of a repayment, I most likely will wind up having sex with her. Am i proud of this fact???? no no no. Will i wind up crying myself to sleep from the guilt? very likely, but have sex with her i will dammit.

I don't like feeling obligated to anyone for anything and if having sex with a beautiful woman gets rid of said obligation, Then that's just a cross i am willing to bear.

I wrote this thread thinking there might just be a few women here on pof that shares this philosophy.
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 17
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:35:20 AM
"BV-your kindness and thoughfulness should be spread across all the "where are all the nice guys" threads"

Thank you Thank you, you're way too kind.

You know if you took a poll of 100 men and this question was asked.

"If an attractive women bought you an expensive dinner, would you be ok with having sex with her at the end of the night?" I could be off on these numbers but i am willing to bet that about 97 of those guys would say yes( the other 3 would be gay of course).

In this age of equality, I can't help but wonder why it is so much different for women.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 18
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:48:39 AM
I always have sex with a beautiful woman that buys me an expensive dinner........

OT.........Sex should never be an obligation, but much more an invitation to share equally, and that sharing must be understood, wanted, and enjoyed by both......

Just my opinion........
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 19
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:42:25 AM
Few hundred bucks! Who is this guy? The late governor of New York?

I've got a limit on what I'll spend. Also I have scouted out the best deals in food and drinks before I take out my prey (oops I mean my date!). I've found two wonderful restaurants (Dayton, OH - the land of the grand!). One two can have a scruptuous meal for less than $20! The other I took two friends to it recently and the bill with tip was $41 (well I had a $5 coupon).

Then afterwards I spirit her off to my mansion for a chilled bottle of wine (really a $10 jug of Gallo) where I can make my moves on her. And if nothing transpires, we can at least watch Craig Ferguson - love that guy!

The Eagle
 BobCat777
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 20
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:51:36 AM
don't accept if it seems like that's what the guy wants though... a bit of a sticky situation then...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 21
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:38:03 AM

Would a man really accept guilt sex from a woman under those circumstances?

Unfortunately, there are damaged men out there who will accept "guilt sex" or any kind of sex,short of forcible rape or flat out paying a hooker.

Smart women simply avoid allowing a man to spend significant money on them until they are fairly certain the man is not in that pathetic category.

On a couple of occasions, when I've heard men whining about asking a woman out, showing her a good time and getting "nothing in return", I have offered the suggestion, loudly and bluntly! that next time he should just hire a hooker in whatever price range he's happy with.
Cindy O
 simmering59
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 22
Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:23:39 PM
Ive met men that want sex after a drink. I've met men who took me for a lavish dinner merely for the pleasure of my company. If a man expents sex for spending money he should hire a hooker
 Bonita fish
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 23
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:34:09 PM
NO she is not obligated. And yes there are men out there that think this!
If you see glimmers of this at all, get out of there as fast as possible. That includes calling a cab!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 24
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:31:07 PM
Nothing obligates this woman. Either the ZA-ZA-ZOOM is there - or it isn't.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 25
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Does accepting an expensive dinner from a man obligates a woman to have sex with him?
Posted: 4/12/2008 4:39:16 PM
LMAO ... I started a thread about such a thing ... only the opposite.

I was going on the assumption that a lot of men do expect us ladies to "put out" if they buy us dinner. So, I wanted to know if we could expect the same from a man ... I asked if we ladies have a man over for dinner (we cook/provide the meal) and then also provide the entertainment (music or movie), can we expect him to drop his drawers for us?

It seems the men seemed all too willing. Some said we wouldn't even have to provide the music or movie, while still others felt that the drawers might come off already while the dinner was being prepared.

Some of the ladies felt that if they provided that much for the men that they should not only "put out" for us ... but also wash the car, mow the lawn, and fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom.

It was all quite entertaining ... the things that were said in that thread.

OT ...
I'm not comfortable accepting an expensive dinner from men that I don't know well ... i.e. if I'm not in a relationship with a man already ... I am not going to be inclined to be having such an expensive dinner with him ... that would be a really special occasion, like an anniversary or birthday perhaps.

I should hope that in general, men would not expect us to "put out" in return for any kind of nice date ... be it a movie, miniature golf, a day at the beach/on the boat, or just a quick cup of coffee.

Let's hope that men of that mentality are few and far between and basically just end up wandering around out there until they fall off the face of the earth.
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