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 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 2
Talking about sex before even meetingPage 1 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
Depends...

If someone I'm getting to know brings it up OFTEN and doesn't talk about much else... then he's a turd.

Beyond that, I do understand why a few cursory sex questions may be required, but I think it's wise to get one or two out of the way... then wait for another conversation to get a couple more out of the way.. and so on and so on.

I sorta do that myself because there are certain things I wanna know beforehand, but obviously, if I'm liking the guy so far... I don't want him to think I'm all about sex.

It's all in how to broach the topic too. I've never had a major problem getting my answers.
 AdrianEsquire
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 3
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:11:02 PM
Next time you drive by a cemetary, tak a moment to pause and reflect. Life is short. Enjoy every minute of life that you can.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 4
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:32:37 PM
I would find it totally disrespectful and not pursue meeting that person. Jeez, what's the rush?

I totally agree with the OP - it's out of line.
 Right...
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 5
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:31:28 PM
Op Better talking about it before than on the first date...
 KathrW
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 6
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:36:08 PM
I would have to agree with Uwishtoo and others. I think if a man talks about sex even before he meets you then that is a complete turn off for me. That would make me think that, that is all he's really interested in. Don't give up your moral for such behaviors.
 StarliteKisses
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 7
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:59:33 PM
There is a time and a place for everything....and timing IS everything. I have found (like you OP) that the men who want to talk sex....and all the details.....aren't showing respect. They are in it for one thing.......I want it ALL....along with that "one thing". I'll wait....I know he's out there!

Keep on !!!

~Sexy Vixen 4u~
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 9
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:28:48 PM

A relationship is the price a man has to pay for sex..

Sex is the price a woman has to pay for a relationship!!


God... I think I'd rather die than buy into either of those theories. Or the rest of the attitude.


ROTFL. Again, yes and no.... keeping in mind that if someone is here
for just sex and meets up with someone else who is here for just sex,
then talking about this stuff and not much else might be the perfect
comfort level for both of them.


The OP didn't describe such a scenario. If we're talking strictly about the IE set, then of course they're gonna talk about sex before meeting. Duh.

I should think it's obvious who would and wouldn't be talking about sex based on what their profile says they're here for.
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 13
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/15/2008 1:25:30 AM
"A relationship is the price a man has to pay for sex..
Sex is the price a woman has to pay for a relationship!!"

"God... I think I'd rather die than buy into either of those theories. Or the rest of the attitude."
"The OP didn't describe such a scenario. If we're talking strictly about the IE set, then of course they're gonna talk about sex before meeting. Duh."
"I should think it's obvious who would and wouldn't be talking about sex based on what their profile says they're here for."

OMG I couldn't agree more girl!

Ladies, how about the ever popular question during the first 5 minutes of conversation......"Are you shaved?"
Oh that's always gonna make a girl get that warm and fuzzy feeling when you ask that one guys! Would you have the balls to walk up to me in a coffee shop and ask me this?
It is such a turn off and it doesn't matter who sweet or wonderful or hot I thought he was before..... He is now officially a TURD!
UH Bye Bye!
See ya and wouldn't wanna be ya!

:~()
 ________
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 15
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/15/2008 4:31:17 AM
Be thankful there's still some interest.....


Next time you drive by a cemetary, take a moment to pause and reflect. Life is short. Enjoy every minute of life that you can.


.......and sex life is much much shorter.
 Fefe_FXDL
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 16
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/15/2008 5:06:00 AM
I am only comfortable flirting if it is with a guy that I wouldn't mind if he took it seriously. I don't flirt, online or in person, with guys I am either not interested in, or haven't decided yet. If I haven't met someone face-to-face, that decision hasn't been made. But once I meet them? I'll know in about 3 seconds.

So, talking online to someone I haven't met yet? If they start talking about giving me a massage, I get creeped out.
 flyonthewall!
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 18
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/15/2008 6:02:17 AM
Asking about sex in an e-mail is putting the cart before the horse.

How would a guy like it if you asked him a bunch of marriage questions before meeting him, you know: What kind of diamond ring did you have in mind? Is a religious ceremony important? Would your parents kick in if it's a large wedding? Oh, and BTW, how many kids would you like to have?

Before you meet you have no idea if there's any chemistry, if you'll want to go out on a date, if you'll date for a while and just never feel comfortable enough with each other to HAVE sex.

So why ask something of a person when you're not sure it's ever going to happen?

Oh, and also, it's creepy and rude. I'd never meet a man even for coffee who asked me about sex before a meet (or before we were at a point in the relationship that we were ready to have sex).
 Tarrylea
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 19
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/15/2008 6:51:21 AM
You might even find it enjoyable right there in the cemetary. If it kills me just bury me with the smile on my face.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/15/2008 9:47:33 AM
If the attraction is there, and most know that right at the start, some discussion of potential sex, most likely will happen.

It does not have to be specific, but much more boundary setting, rules, over all views, etc., and I do think when single and looking for others to enjoy, that sex is just another element of conversation, and that thought process.....

Most that I meet will let me know if they are attracted to me during that first meeting, and ask me if I am to them as well. Once that is established, the boundaries expand significantly if both want to know each other much better, and spend more time with one another. This is when you have that first touch, kiss, and discussion about what you believe in when it comes to romance, sex, and relationships.

Just my opinion........
 chrylann
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 24
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/16/2008 4:32:48 PM
Look out! Sex is what they are after.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 26
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 6:53:10 AM

I have seen an over abundance of people who want to tell me all about their sexual likes and dislikes and what they want to do to do me even before meeting me. Am I being a prude by thinking that this is disprespectful???

Yes it does mean you are a bit of a prude (see the "bit" part since I don't know you or how comfortable you get discussing these issues with someone you know better).
So find a guy that is a bit of a prude himself, hope that down the road there isn't frustration due to incompatibility between the sheets.


This behavior tells me that the person who is doing that isnt someone who isnt really interested in me as a person but what is between my legs and how that can help them.

This could very well be the case. Or he could be feeling out compatibility with a near stranger to see if something might be worth persuing. Sex may not be everything but it is very important in a relationship, so finding you that you do or don't enjoy enough of the same things saves him from wasting his time and yours down the road.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 27
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:05:57 PM
Women jump the gun them damn selves sometimes when sex is mentioned some immediately think it's the only thing on men's minds. I'm willing to wait but sometimes I want to know if I'm wasting my time waiting for something that will never cum. I will ask point blank. "Do you like sex?" , " Well, do ya punk!?" I sometimes save the second question for special occasions.
 Masked_Hero
Joined: 12/14/2003
Msg: 28
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/21/2008 9:51:49 PM
When women start talk'n about sex early before we really get to know each other, to me is a huge turn off.. At the same time its defenatly a topic that has should be disscused eventually.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 29
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:32:01 AM

I don't think you need to go into specific details.... but I do think at the proper time, the only thing that should come up is as to whether or not you have compatabile sex drives.

I don't necessarily look for equal sex drives as I believe most men have women beat in that area. Although in my old age I have run into a few 40'ish sexual peak raring to go girls that normally, like most men, wish they had that to deal with but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I just look for women that don't hate sex. Those that freak when you ask or talk about it give me pause.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 30
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:49:09 PM
I think it is a good idea to talk about sexual perferences. That way I can weed out the guys that would not be suitable for me. For example I do not engage in so call oral sex. I weed out men who must engage on oral. I want a man who will learn where and how to touch me with his hands also not jerk off on the day, and a day before we decide to have sex so he can maintain an erection. Getting sex issues out in the open is good because it helps avoid a dissapointment.
Talking about sex perferences, what I like and don't like, does not mean I am going to do it with the person I am sharing this with, but it can avoid dissappointments if and when it happens.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 31
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/23/2008 1:01:20 AM

Tonight I have come to realize that I do talk about sex in a way before meeting men. I realized it because I talk about some of the funny things I have read on the forums. Some of the funniest sexual threads are deleted. I wish some of the comments could be kept and put in the comment hall of fame.
Do you often tease and not deliver?
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 32
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:39:45 AM

it's not a " one size fits all " type of deal.
I've been told many times my size fits all, in fact, perfectly!
 Doxiegirl
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 33
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:48:49 PM
No you are not a prude....they lack class imo. I believe any profile that indicates what they like sexually is a bad way to intro themselves. After all would they do that in a bar...."Hi my name is so and so and I have a high sexual energy," as so candidly written in some of these profiles. Now if they try to discuss this on dates I would politely tell them it is presumptuous and inappropriate to talk about such things, and if they get defensive about it I would shorten the date and block their profile/s. I mean c'mon what happened to being gentlemen?
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 34
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:31:09 PM
Everyone ahs differnt opinions on sex and the act of sex. Some people may have fetishes or amy be a little on the kinky side. Some people don;t like sex or hav e anegative opinion about it or think that people jsut want to use them for sex. Others wantt o wait for marriage. And talking about sex is good so that people kjow what they like and know what to expect. And to know where each party stands. Iw ould never get inviolved with someone waiting for marriage. As I eniyo sex. i also might be hesitant to be witha girl who thinks sex is morally wrong. some people are jsut into things that are too kinky. its all about comfort levels.

So you have to ask yourself are you comfortable with yourself sexually and out tlaking about sex and about having sex? Are you ok with being in a relationship that involves sex? Are you comfortable being with someone period? Are you comfortable being kissed by someone next to you who may not be wewaring any pants? There are people out there who will use you for sex as there are people who just want you to enioy being with them. its always ok to talk about a subject but you should tlet the person know whether or not you feel comfortable tlaking about the subbject whether is sex, abortion, or politics.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 37
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 1:53:38 PM

Oh man! Could I tell you a earfull!
This woman has sheep on her profile, Honey where are you? I'm over here, baaaaaaaaa. Nuff said bout dat!


..Ever hear that saying..If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say nothing at all..
Yes I have but many females on here must not have. Woman do more bashing but because they feel justified anything they say becomes okay in their mind.


..Or gee he seemed nice until he opend his mouth.
She seemed very nice until she started talking and she couldn't keep her mouth shut. The shoe on the other foot, didn't you know they come in pairs?


..Most of the ladies on this site are looking for love. Not just sex.
Why do mostly women assume they are mutually exclusive?


Hell we can get that anytime, and we don't need a man.
Thats what were afraid of so we explore with questions.


Totally creeps me out.
A popular opinion among women here. How's that for maturity?


but do guys have to be so grose and say things like Im horny ?
Females have always been telling guys they want to know what were feeling. Only answer that question when you tell them what they want to hear or talk about feelings they consider valid. If we feel it whats wrong with saying it and discussing it like a mature adult? I may be hot, cold, lonely, hungry or sad but those are okay? We still live in the dark ages where some topics are taboo? Talking about sex doesn't mean wanting to do it then and there or ASAP or 24 hours a day but how about exploring another aspect of compatibility in a healthy relationship. I forgot, eeww that's like so gross, like totally, fer sure.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 38
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:55:31 PM

but could simply be considered[sp] in poor taste before you meet someone one in person


So if I listen to [insert poor taste] music that might be a deal breaker. Clothes out of style or in poor taste should be avoided. How about my poor taste in furnishing my sparsly decorated, messy apartment?

What do you do for a living? (hint, hint, how much do you make?) What's your blood type? Do you have HIV or other diseases. Do you require dialysis? Lighten up and relax. We live in an information age. Life is complicated enough don't make it harder than it is relax. I sometimes test women too and if they can't handle simple questions without going off the deep end, I see it as saving myself a lot of time and energy down the road and pain, lots of it.
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