|Dating Musicians??????Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)|
|Allgood... the one thing I can think of is that to alot of musicians, music comes first. I have many musician friends and they have a hard time keeping a relationship going because of the time they spend practicing and then travelling to gigs. The girls get jealous of the guys in the band, they are getting more of your attention than the girl is. You can't take her out on Friday or Saturday night because you have a gig to play. Music is something they just can't compete with. Silly concept, I know, but we all know how much attention some girls need.|
Just a thought. Keep rockin'
Posted: 5/31/2005 10:09:36 PM
|I hope to fall for a musician, being that I am one. It is nice to be understood.|
Posted: 5/31/2005 10:33:35 PM
|I think part of the problem is that they think you will have the 'groupies' hanging all over you or women throwing themselves at you and you not able to resist...it is a trust issue for sure.|
I would date a musician any day.So much talent...sighhhhh:D
Posted: 5/31/2005 10:43:56 PM
|whaddaya call a bass player without a girlfriend?|
how do you know your stage is level?
the drummer's drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
heh...no offence, but i've worked with quite a few bands in the past...and should they choose, they pick up quite a bit.
Posted: 5/31/2005 10:59:30 PM
|!! sargasm stole my post LOL sigh...I love both those jokes|
Nothing wrong with musicians....
Posted: 5/31/2005 11:15:51 PM
|Wow wanted one, you've hit it on the nail. A lot of women don't want to get involved because of the time we invest in our passion/addiction. I've had women trust me but couldn't put up with me being gone a lot. Most musicians I know live a double life of working full time at a day job & then rehearsing, traveling & playing. Too much for some gals.|
Posted: 5/31/2005 11:29:08 PM
|Why do drummers lay their drumsticks on the dashboard of their car when they park?????|
Posted: 6/1/2005 9:37:28 AM
|Hey bass and super... you make my point superbly|
I will alway love musicians and hold a special weakness in the knees for bass players LOL
Posted: 6/1/2005 10:56:31 AM
|Answere: ..........So they can park in the handicapped spaces.|
Posted: 6/1/2005 11:10:58 AM
|Musicians seemto be stereotyped as a bunch of alkies and druggies, which might be a turn off to some. But..... key word is stereotyped. I get together with a few guys... we do play out, and the strongest thing any of us puts in our system is coffee. We dont party after the gig is done neither. But.... a committed musician at times does not have a lot of free time. But its also a 2 way street on sacrifice, as if the musician really cares about who hes (or shes) with, and that person is willing to accept it, then things can work out. Its a trust issue on both sides.... as after all... when the musicians away...........|
Posted: 6/1/2005 11:26:39 AM
|I have a degree in guitar. I perform all the time. Its gotten me absolutely no where with women. Never once have I turned up sucessful even when I thought I would. I think they are scared of a man who has learned to something they dont understand.|
Posted: 6/1/2005 12:34:28 PM
If music is your passion in life then you should live it .. you have a gift to share with the world ... express it ...although it's true that girls accquire alot of attention .. but then again doesn't your own passion ? ..
It's you life and your life right to the bittersweet end ... live it how you see it and feel it ... the right woman for you ... will understand.. and feel proud .." that's my man up there and I love everything that he is !"...
Unfortunatley I had to learn that lesson the hard way many, many years ago!...I thought I didn't fit into his musical world ... and thought I was doing HIM the favor of letting him go to explore it ... needless to say I should have taken the moment and asked him how he felt :( ....
18 years later we finally found each other again ... we made our own paths and now we both kick ourselves ! ... He married a woman whom he met along his journey ... who didn't veiw his music as " the other girlfriend" .. she did just the opposite and embraced it ...with the same passion as he ! ...I'm happy for him though ... okay ...and a bit envy of too .. I'm still single ...
Posted: 6/3/2005 12:18:24 AM
|Glad to hear that my thoughts may have given you a different perspective ... the unvierse is huge and there's a place for you to express your talents! ..... show everyone what you got! .. any woman who acts like a jealouse lil' brat cuz your music comes first .. show her the door man! ... and make sure she takes her lipstick with her !|
There's a whole industry of people like me with a thirst to see what flowers with musicians like yourself ... sounds like you have alot of positive energy ... you have a gift given to you..... don't waste it on those who have no appreciation of what you have to offer!
Posted: 6/3/2005 4:33:59 PM
|OTB dont lie darlin. You know that you love the undies and bras flying at the stage. And the lil backstage groupies bringing you beers.|
Posted: 6/3/2005 9:48:13 PM
|Oh...... Lusty, you're bringing back memories. All the babes that threw their panties that caught onto the drummers cymbals & the mexican babes that flashes us from the dance floor. The late night gals after the strip clubs closed & the private party begins. The walk out to Cocoa Beach during break winding up with sand in my pants. Those we're the days my friend. Think I'll hit the bed now & dream about the twins in that Chicago hotel room. You all think: Wow this guy tells tales. I'll never tell.|
Posted: 8/13/2006 8:08:45 PM
|Hey.... this woman's apparant suspicions and worries about the pitfalls of falling for a working musician...are Not without good reason. all you musicians out there who are quick to defend yourselves...Know this...full well. I have played in the small town tavern and club bands on and off for the past 40 yearrs. At least half...(and that might be a conservative estimate)) of my musician friends have had...and still have... serious problems with drugs and/or alchohol. It is an occupational hazzard. What other job do you get served a drink by the boss when you show up. The profession...(or past time) attracts the narcissists, sociopaths and megalamaniacs.... and worst of all, the Wannabee's! I call them, the Stars! |
Of course, not every musician falls into these catagories. But enough of them do, to substantiate the womans's fears. Dealing with this is just part of the territory of being a working musician. Deal with it. If any of you want to be an emmisary of honor and good behavior for working musicians... more power to you. The profession could certainly use it. But you Know you can't expect the general public to think of us as exactly the same as anybody else.
The same is true for anyone who chooses to get involved romantically with working musicians. there are inherent circumstances that come with the territory that tyou "Have" to deal with. You don't fall for them... get involved with them... and then start harping on them to change their work!!! Thats ridiculous. The woman who just says right up front...' i ain't getting involved with musicians", is actually a lot better that that, in my book.
In the end... its not about what someone does for work... its about how they treat us. that is the only legitimate area of complaint.
Posted: 8/16/2006 8:14:20 PM
|I think whereas most people think a musician is more tempted with his/her environment and may be unfaithful because of it, I know the deal being a club DJ for 18+ years and know that you get desensitized to it if anything.|
Sure at first you get caught up in the nightlife, different people you meet and people that hit on you constantly, but soon enough you realize those people aren't into you because you are special, they probably just hit on you because you were in their path - just like the two or three people they hit on right after you. Most of that is just part of the atmosphere and it isn't life. It takes being in that type of business about a year or so before it gets real old...romantically speaking.
There are those in every crowd that get caught up in it and never grow up or get past all the attention, but those people have those personalities anyway, and working with a lot of people that might stroke their ego just feeds the person they already are.
To me it's just a job, and always will be. At 3 am it all ends, and starts again the next night. It's like living near an airport - eventually you just don't hear the planes anymore.
It also means if you ever moved you'd miss the noise. I love clubs, bars, bands etc because its just part of life for me, but I don't go to look for dates or hook up. I go because either I am working and have to be there, or because once in a while I like to experience the atmosphere, the music, the drinks, the crowd. It's like home to me - and when I get tired of it, I leave. It's a love hate thing - you love it cause it's always there, you end up hating it because it never changes, then you go a week and love it because it's there for you, yadda yadda.
Being from that, I tend to gravitate towards musicians and people in that industry because they understand my life better - they have the same type schedule, environment and love of nightlife I have. They know its not a reason for jealousy. I sometimes have problems with guys who just go to clubs but never worked them - to them being a DJ and going to clubs is just a plot to get phone numbers, and you can't tell them different.
Unless you are in it and have worked it, you just don't get it as easily.
Posted: 8/17/2006 4:39:16 AM
|Hey, im 21 i teach guitar, work in a guitar shop and play in a metal band! any one wana date me?! lol|
Posted: 8/17/2006 5:30:56 AM
|I LOVE musicians, they're yummy|
I dated a drummer for a few years...whoo hoo, strong hands and amazing co ordination
Pleasure and entertainment in one package....
I'm all for it!!!!!
Posted: 8/17/2006 7:22:31 AM
|I dated a musician....NEVER AGAIN. Like so many other fishies have stated, it is their music that comes first. His hours were insane and he would have a fit when I would tell him that he couldn't practice at the house at 2 am when I had to get up at 6am. I was, afterall, the one supporting him. Or he'd have a parade of people at all hours of the night. (grrrrrrr). But to him, I was supposed to give up everything for HIS passion. In this case, he was a self centered ego-maniac and demanded my attention on his time frame. (I must also mention that his resume included acting and modeling). I don't know how many times I was dragged out of bed in the middle of the night to listen to his latest beat that was going to make him a millionaire or watch him freak out over the zit on his face or a bad haircut. Yes, he was the male version of a Diva. |
In the essence of the old saying "those that can't do, teach", my experience has been "those that can't love, sing about it". And that doesn't mean all musicians are bad. It just means that I can't deal with that lifestyle.
Posted: 8/17/2006 7:46:02 AM
|Kaltes - and the rest - If playing the radio counts then I am a musician; actually audio / video production studio owner but, I see the problem right off the bat. It is in a common joke in the industry. What do you call a musician with out a GF? Homeless |
Posted: 8/17/2006 10:13:34 AM
|I guess I could throw in my 2 cents worth because I was married to a musician and I am one myself. I play keyboards and sing in a blues/rock band but I don't make my primary living anymore by playing music. I also have an accounting background so I pay my bills. When I was married to one, I was usually the one who had to take a second job as a waitress or something to keep the bills paid, while my husband pursued his "passion". I was also responsible for the kids too. I'd say it is fine to date a musician who has a lucrative day job too, like I do. We do have a passion and it takes up a lot of our time, but it is better than sitting in front of a TV all weekend. As long as a person is healthy physically and emotionally and has a well rounded lifestyle, dating a musician is great. It can be a hobby and can balance us out, as long as the partner is also interested in what we are doing. |
Posted: 8/17/2006 11:49:51 AM
|I should also add that we need to respect our partner's passions, too or try to incorporate them into our passions. I always encourage the band wives to get up on stage with us during performances or ask their opinions of our song lists., etc. If I were dating a non-musician, I would try to connect with his passions and make them part of my life, too.|
Posted: 8/17/2006 9:01:26 PM
|I know that I myself have declined dating musicians but it is not because they are musicians. It is because I was in a relationship with someone in the entertainment industry for 9 years. I never had a fear of him cheating, I trusted him and he trusted me. I actually enjoyed the times when he was away. I would do things that I enjoyed and he didn't. We never smothered each other. It was the drinking and drugs that finished it for me. He choose the lifestyle and coke over our daughter. I felt she needed to grow up in one location and grow roots not living on a bus or in a different hotel every night. She needed a place to call home. Now he is clean and one of my best friends. Do I have regrets? None. If I had a choice to go back and change it I wouldn't. I have a great daughter and a great friend.|
Posted: 8/18/2006 12:39:03 PM
|Bass player here, I'll throw my 2 cents in.|
When I play a show, everything else in the world goes away for those 3 hours or so, I can’t help it. being on stage is something that is impossible to explain to a non entertainer. That being said, the rest of the week I am totally devoted to my other half when I am with someone. Whenever I first start dating someone, i explain that when I play out I have to flirt, it is part of the gig, you need to try and get people to come to the next show. So that has never really been a problem for me. The biggest problems I have run into is we have gigs booked out 6 months in advance, and every so often some big family event gets planned or a beach trip is planned and I can't go, that’s when they start to get jealous of the band. they sometimes dont understand that there are 4 other people depending on me to be there and I cant just cancel a show because Uncle Jake is having a barbeque next week.
Long Live Rock and Roll