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 AUTHOR
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 3
If a penis could speak...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
" OY VEY!, How the Hell did I get myself into this ?"
...."time and time again, I never seem to learn"....
"when I will ever see the light of day again"...
"Why Me?....always the one to get stuck in these hard to reach places!"


"It's a tuff job, but somebody's got to do it!"
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 8
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/19/2008 6:45:49 PM

Do you believe that a man's penis****ates how he behaves?
UH HUH ... I sure do.

And if this is true why is it that you rarely hear anyone say a woman is ruled by her vagina?
Maybe that's because we really aren't ruled by our vagina ... ... at least probably not in the way a man allows his penis to take over.

If a penis could speak...
... it would say "I need someplace dark and moist and if I don't find one soon, I'd appreciate it if my owner would please put me back in my house."
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 12
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:04:32 PM
Mikethewriter is gathering material for his next book. The penis wouldn't say a darned thing.........it only has one eye and no lips, nuff said.

But, the penis makes the head on top of the male's shoulders say and do various things. There is where the power is. (The mind is a terrible thing to waste) Unless of course the penis needs the help of Viagra/Cialis because he doesn't stand so tall anymore without help.

And in answer to your question about why you rarely hear a woman being ruled by her vagina??? Because she's not..........really. ~snickers~

Oh, how do I fall for these questions ...........here's another one I'm gonna have to post five more times to get this one off my profile...... Mike, let us all know when you go on tour.
 heaight
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 13
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:25:36 PM
well if my pen!s could talk he'd tell me to "make sure the girl takes a shower first, why do u keep doing this to me"
no im not sure about most guys but im not ruled by mine.
i doubt any guy is actually ruled by his penis as ppl like to put it... the penis doesnt have a brain, its ur thought process that allows u to be turned on, and its ur thoughts that will motivate u to say whatever it is u say to a chick because their thoughts give off such overwhelming lust that they dont think of something nice to say and instead ask something dirty
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 15
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:56:42 PM
.. it'd say "Thanks for coming?"

I don't think men are ruled by their penis, but I do think that they listen when their appendage makes good suggestions.
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 20
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:50:53 AM
Has anyone ever seen the movie Dr Doolittle. Where the dog is all jumping i the air saying throw the ball throw the ball over and over again. Thats amans penis ......got have it got to have it all the time.............lol
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 22
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:00:14 AM
My penis does talk and it says:
My best friend is a pussy.
My neighbours are a bunch of nuts.
The guy right across is an asshole.
Everytime I get excited, I throw up.

It's tough to be a Penis.
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 23
If a penis could speak it would say...
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:21:02 AM
"I'm the decider"
"They misunderestimated me"
"Mission Accomplished"
 exotica cohiba
Joined: 11/18/2004
Msg: 30
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/20/2008 10:31:55 PM
the nuts are trying to c0ck block......lol
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 31
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/21/2008 6:15:19 AM
. . . . "i'm connected to a moron" (?)
*edit*lol. this post was made under the influence of not enough sleep & no coffee...
...Carry On, penis-lovers...
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 34
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:32:19 PM
i'm not sure that penises speak english. so not sure what they say. look awfully cute with horn rimmed glasses though. i said that to my first husband (we had a skit going) and soon after, some crazy movie stole my idea.
 kxsreza
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 35
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:00:01 AM
each penis talk on his language , most of them are very greedy and they want to teats all **** some of them are content with what ever they have and said no away . that 'll do fine for me some are very active and a few are lazy .
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 37
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:47:35 AM
Thanks for holding and hugging me when I needed it especially when I blow my top.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 38
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:02:26 AM
RE: First post.

I have trouble imagining a vagina as a cruel, conniving ****. Sorry. ^_^

Anyways... things a penis might say:

1. "Claustrophobia is no joking matter if you're a penis."
2. "Thank the gods I have no taste buds."
3. "Damn its cold out, time to head inside."
4. "DUDE! AIM ME, I have no hands you prick..."

etc.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 40
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:24:06 PM
I belive penises CAN speak, that's why I try to smother them.
 ozarkguy
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 41
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:49:29 PM
"Hey, it's dark in here!"
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 42
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:07:03 PM
The penis would say to the man: "Why do I have to retire way before you do?"
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 43
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:03:04 PM

And if this is true why is it that you rarely hear anyone say a woman is ruled by her vagina?


No, but women get very hormonal.

Actually the problem with most men is that they don't let their penis or perhaps their own balls to speak for themselves and instead they go back to their little places and accept their little outcomes. So let your penis talk!!! Set him free!! See a chic you like, go talk to her.
 Theonly1!
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 44
If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:14:56 PM
"I guess this beats the hell out of cleaning chimneys..."
 Tim61
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 46
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If a penis could speak...
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:46:23 AM
Everytime he gets me out, i get all wet, other times i get put in a dark but very nice hole but pushed in then out, a few times, i just don't know, if i'm in or out no wonder i becum sick lol, some other times, i get put into a nice warm place, but there again, its in and out, all the other time, with the same results, Sick yet again.

I'm so glad when he puts me away for a break lol

Tim
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