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Show ALL Forums  > Arkansas  > Why do men mislead??      Home login  
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 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 2
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Why do men mislead??Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Men "mislead" because they can, same as women do...

However it is how a woman takes it, that it misleading...

I bet if you look back and think about all the on/off signals, you would see what he was really saying...

Anytime a guy comes on to me like some tornado, I hide in the cellar until he passes on by, I have learned that men who come as fast and over consumming as a tornado; will be gone just as fast...

It is up to you to decide you want to get sucked up into someone's tornado or not...
 Billfishin2
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 5
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:15:31 PM

Men "mislead" because they can, same as women do...


I also agree ... listen to the inner voice, look for anyone in a rush, clingy or desperate ... if they can't wait or if it isn't mutual ... move on.
 ok72076
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 6
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:12:35 PM
Women are just as bad. You make plans to call each other at noon on weekends, and then never hear back from them! Unless it's during the week and they want to go out to eat.
 FrndlyStrgr
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 7
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:18:15 PM
Smartblonde, that door swings both ways. Been there, had it happen, NOT a POF connection, but a chance encounter with someone close by. It blossomed waaaay too quickly, and although we we were very compatible in lots of ways, there are always issues, there is always baggage.

Mislead? Or make mistakes? I'd offer a couple of answers:
1. That's just the way he (or she) is.
2. He's (or she's) not over what he (she) thought they were over when you came along... i.e., you were the rebound girl.

Let go with love (OK, yeah, easy for me to say, not so easy for me to do) and move on.
 ok72076
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 8
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:17:02 PM
Regarding guys not helping themselves about misleading, it could also be the woman reading too much into things.

But it could also be the guy getting realistic about distance, money, gas, etc.
Why would you date someone in TULSA if you're in Rogers? That means one or both you of have to be able to relocate if you ever want to live together.

While I'd like to have a long term FWB relationship or love like others have, with gas at $4 a gallon I say you have to stick to fishing locally, Cabot to Sherwood-NLR for this Jacksonville Teddy Bear.
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 9
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:21:17 AM
All the more reason to take our time. The rush is so we don't have time to figure out what's up. Same with telephone or internet solicitors who have to have your committment "today" or the "deal" will be gone forever. "Uh, can I call you back?" usually lets you know what's going on.
Christy
 danmck1
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 10
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:46:05 PM
It is not only men who can hurt , I had about the same thing happen to me, one night she love me next day a text, breaking up, we only saw each about two months on and off, How can a woman fall out of love in one night, she and I run into each she still has the look of love in her eyes, need some help girls, P.S. she said I was the greatest guy in the world, So ladys you can hurt us also, However that is a individual choice.
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 11
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:36:14 PM
That's a generic "we" on my post, danmck1. A woman falls out of love the same way a man does, and for different reasons. Sometimes she thinks she finds "something better" and so do men. Sometimes you've done or said something that sends up a red flag for her. She/he may catch you in one or more lies and figure the lies he/she knows about make them wonder about the ones they don't. It could be old baggage. It could be you got too close. If you only dated "about two months on and off", it doesn't sound like it ever had time to turn into love, in the first place. And there could be a few reasons for why she still has "the look of love": you don't make enough money but the sex is good, the sex isn't good enough, she has committment issues, her family had a talk with her and it went badly for you...If we can figure out what we don't want to repeat the "next" time, we're doing good. Sometimes they will tell us, and lots of times they won't. If we're lucky, we are able to figure it out.
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 13
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:00:04 PM
Eeew, Michelle, that's a disappointment. I'd suspect those trips out to his car in the rain were for a slug of hooch, with behavior like that! I'm dealing with one who can't take "heck, no" for an answer, too. Well, actually, by this point, I'm mostly just avoiding him and ignoring his messages.
Christy
 sware2
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 14
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:31:56 PM
Now is MY turn to get jumped on here.. I blame alot of what is going on in relationships on the women.. and yes.. I am very much a lady.. men are visual and women are emotional.. and women forget that the man thinks with the little head before he uses the big one.. and the little head has no brain. It is a disposable world we live in and that includes people.. if a man can't get it from one.. he can get it from another.. and from what I have seen since I was tossed out into the singles world.. women are worse now about sleeping around than men. I was so happily married I was blind to what was happening in the singles world and after being married 20 yrs and his passing away.. I was in culture shock at all the swinger couples out here.. women putting notches on the bedposts and saying well if the men can why can't we? I heard it all... and seen alot of it. Married people dating instead of divorcing first.,. makes no sense to me.. if the women do not expect and earn and yes demand respect.. do not gripe when you do not get it.

As far as having a man over to your house without first meeting him in public.. you were asking for what you got.. be glad he is not knocking on your door instead of just messaging you.
 ok72076
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 15
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:22:55 PM
Hey Susan,

It's funny. But we totally agree on what you said.

For The lady 3 or 2 messages ago meeting the guy for the first time: NEVER meet a person alone at your place. Meet for dinner or coffee some place in public.
-----
Susan's right that men are visual and many women are emotional. Men are, for the most part, upfront about being horny and wanting sex. Women want to have a love connection before fooling around.

But after being burned once or more in relationships by someone, men want a Friends with Benefits relationship that may develop into a live in situation, with marriage ? down the road. And complicating things is the fact that many people in their 40s are buying their own places and neither one can really afford to give up their place in case things don't work out.;
Just need to find a Ms. Teddy Bear for this Mr. Teddy Bear!
 rdb1258
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 16
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:29:21 AM
That happened to me recently as well. I had gone on several successful dates with a very nice woman whom I've known for 20 years or more, and then, suddenly, POOF! No contact at all. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nothing. For a month. I had no desire to call her at work, but she would not return my calls to her cell, nor to my emails. Then, just as suddenly, a quick little note saying "Hi. I'm fine. Just been working a lot."

All I wanted to do was tell her about a job opening I thought she'd be interested in. She had complained to me some time ago about how expensive it is to drive almost 60 miles to work, and she was really wanting something closer to home. The job I'd found she could have walked to if she had a mind.
 sware2
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 19
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:18:28 PM
Michelle,

I was not indicating anything sexual about you. I was saying be glad he is messaging you.. all you have to do is block him.. but now he knows where you live and I have had an online stalker.. and sure glad he did not know where I lived.. I have met some really great people online.. but there have been a rare few that had they known where I live I would be concerned.

I just find it best to meet in a public place.. that way he does not know where I live until I know for sure I would want him to know... and I can get away quickly should I need to instead of having to try to get rid of him.

I have no doubt you are a nice person.

I do appreciate the kind words about my late husband.. He was a good man... and I know there are others left out here like him..

Good luck to you and I apologize if you took anything I said as negative.
 ok72076
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 22
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:19:11 PM
hi Michelle,

I wish more ladies on here would have your attitude about meeting someone for dinner and talking.

You can only go so far in IMing and emailing.
You can't tell if you have any spark unless you meet.

keith
 ok72076
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 24
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/13/2008 7:40:13 AM
Internet stories and photos can be misleading. So can distance relationships... too far apart and you can have double lives.
 rdb1258
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 25
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/13/2008 2:39:53 PM
Michelle, thanks so much for your kind words. That whole episode was a source of much consternation for me. I agree with you totally, free and open communication is very important to me so when someone I want to spend significant time with stops talking it's nothing short of an insult. I have moved on, and with a little luck, may be moving in a very positive direction very soon. We shall see.
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 27
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:13:09 PM
Moodpainter, when a man can't respond with more than 1 or 2 sentences, I get the impression: (1) he's illiterate (2) english is not his first language, (3) he's not too bright, or (4) he's not really interested in anything but sex. If there are more options, I'm not aware of them.
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 29
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:30:28 PM
The Cherokees have a very good word that works well in all sorts of conversations. The word is, for lack of Cherokee font on my computer, "hv", and sounds like a grunt, basically.
It can mean lots of things: yes, no, maybe, not now, very interesting, you're an idiot, bs, what did you just say?, good idea, never thought of it that way....
 rdb1258
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 30
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/28/2008 6:37:11 AM

If there are more options, I'm not aware of them.


Hawkdream: It may very well be possible he (or she) just isn't interested in the conversation, for whatever reason. In my opinion the reason (if we ever learn what it is) may be telling, but it isn't as important as how we act on it.
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 31
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Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:39:20 PM
Well stated, rdb.
 rdb1258
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 32
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 8/1/2008 9:34:44 PM
Thanks, Hawkdream, and did you see that was just two sentences?

 sware2
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 33
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 8/27/2008 4:37:40 PM
Both Genders are guilty of misleading... no doubt. I have noticed that there seems to be more games and lies and general BS in the singles world now days than there was before. Its kinda like " I will hurt you before you can hurt me" or " Someone did it to me so its ok to do it to someone". Jealousy, greed, spite, revenge, and outright lies and those that find it a joy to intentionally hurt others. God must really be shaking his head and shedding tears.
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