Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Testimonials  > Good man says goodbye      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 fouthempire
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 1
Good man says goodbyePage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I came here in October, with the best of intentions. I was hoping to meet a nice girl and fall in love. I put my best foot forward and wrote a lengthy profile that expressed who I am. And when the first one didn’t work, I wrote another, and another. I keep changing my profile so the About Me part, on a long enough timeline, told exactly that.

I started hanging out at the boards here, listening to advice about what women want. And it honestly scared me. Looks, money, security are the order of the day. In fact, no one really talks much about love.

I felt bewildered that I fell short of all these things. That who I am wouldn’t be enough, that somehow there was too many things standing in the way. So many issues to nitpick over: who picks up the check, am I good enough? I really wondered if I stood a shot.

In my time here, I’ve talked to many women. A few hundred (that I know of) have looked at my profile. Which is a few hundred chances for a woman to be interested. Yet, I never went on a date from someone I met here. The furtherest I’ve gone was talking to someone here for about 2 months. Which, until you meet face to face, none of this really counts.

Then I took a shot in real life, and I got a chance to see what I can do.

Damn the problems, damn the struggle. All that side, someone gave me the chance. And I passed. All the problems you women deal with. Guys who are insincere, guys who grope, guys who can’t pay for dinner, guys who just want sex, guys who are screwing someone while they are trying to date you, guys who have bad intentions, guys who lie. Every bad thing I’ve heard about here.

I am none of that. And I had a chance to prove it. To show myself, and everyone who’ll never know. There was nothing wrong with me. I am a nice guy, with honest intentions. I am a bit broken, and hoping someone would see the man under it. And someone has.

I don’t know the future, I don’t know what’s going to happen. But behind all the talk and worries of dating. I know one thing. I am a good man who deserves a good woman. And I found her in real life, not here.


The thousand doors that are never opened is the reason why everyone who is on POF, is here. It’s true.
 Plastic Sturgeon
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 2
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:54:55 PM
Very well written and I wish you happiness!

Yes, we all tend to be our own worst enemies!

Not only that, but dating sites do seem to create more
obstacles then doorways to our dreams.
 SavannahSaucy
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 3
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:23:46 PM
I read an article (at least 5 years ago) that described why dating sites fail. It was a well-conceived, logical piece. I wish I had saved it! I don't remember a lot of the details, but the gist is that eventually the only people who are left on dating sites are social introverts and "the unwanted." That's not the author's term, but it's as close an approximation as I can remember. See, what happens is that the vibrant, emotionally healthy people eventually meet up and through attrition disappear from the personals site. The less gregarious folks are left behind, but are too dysfunctional to meet one another.

My encapsulated version of the study is highly oversimplified, but it represents the study's findings, I think.
 hwy40bluz
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 4
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:37:55 PM
I couldn't have written it better myself. Here's to you and the many others out there in POF land, just like US ! This is getting soooo old.
I've been on POF approx. 7 months and have contacted or have been contacted many, many times, and I don't think I have met a single person on here. I'm a good person, not bad looking, and seem to be what many women say their looking for. But.....
 2fast4ya
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 5
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:51:45 PM
Amen brother. I too am finding out POF is turning out to be a waste of time. It seems as though what women "say" they want in a man and what they are actually looking for are two different things. Best of luck to you. Meanwhile I'll be here lokking at all the profiles of women who just don't get it
 KfromKali
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:24:07 PM
Well said and very true OP. POF is a strange place in a lot of ways. It would be interesting to see what the stats are on POF vs. paid sites, if anyone bothered to do a study.

Best of wishes to you and it's great that you found someone out in the world. That IS where it seems the chances are better. BUT there's always that chance to encounter someone online that you wouldn't run into in the world. Or maybe I'm just too much of an optimist.

I hope the OP comes back to read the responses. And wishes for success with your lady.
 just_someguy
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 7
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:35:42 PM
I hear ya brother. I'm the same way as you. It seems nice guys finish last here, unless you are rich, were on the cover of GQ and drive a Bentley. I swear if I had a nickel for every profile I have read that said "looking for a nice guy", I could retire. If someone out there is really looking for a nice guy........where the hell are you?
 SeasideGirl06
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 8
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:39:03 PM
I think that if more "time" was spent on our "Profiles" and reading some of the Advice from MSN on what to do and Not Do, such as putting up photos that you have NO IDEA of what the person looks like, and pictures that may be artistic but have NOTHING TO DO with a Dating SIte. So much to read, and no one to read this.

No wonder, there is no interest in contacting. Men are either holding a "fish" or in a canoe or 1 of them and 3 of the sunset they were looking at "by themselves" I gather.

Let's get with it and "say something original" in our Profiles and if you don't have an outgoing Personality and have nothing to say, well that's great, say that too.
If you are a "lookey-loo" and have been on here for more than a year, then take your picture off, as there are many of the males that are on other Sites, and you are "definitely not looking for a Relationship". It's a "small world".

"Off to get "new Clear Photos and Spruced up those Profiles, and replace the kayaking, canoeing, fishing, camping and mountain climbing with something we women would want to respond to......as I haven't seen many females "up there on them slopes".
With warmest regards to those who are "listening" and really "want to meet someone with a Profile that says something about who you are and a "really NICE PHOTO.!!!!
 hwy40bluz
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 9
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:57:07 PM
seasidegirl, I change photos often. They are pics showing who I am. New shots, old shots, shots sitting, standing, casual and dressed up. My profile says who I am.
I don't say that I want to walk on the beach when there's not a beach for 500 miles.
Maybe you need to read what women say on their profiles. They do want to go fishing, camping etc. They also have pics of themselves on a cruise ship or on some mountain top. OP has spoken with truth.
 belissima
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:22:31 PM
I see alot of truth in what has been said but if we give up what will we have???
I wish you the very best and at the same time I want to say that this is still a good way to meet people and share dreams and maybe one day if we don't give up that one special person will contact us or we will contact them and we will have a positive testimonial to report here.

There are alot of nice and sincere people on here and I can't help but think that there is someone for everyone..
 KfromKali
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 11
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:30:41 PM
Great post Seaside girl, couldn't agree more :)
Pics that show "the real you" are more telling than a picture of your BMW in your driveway (yes, that's what was on someone's profile that contact me).

And to the nice guys out there, YES there are some women that really do want a nice guy. Hwy guy is right, some of us women DO want to go camping and fishing!

But it doesn't happen overnight :) And when you find your nice guy (or nice girl) doesn't it make it worth the hard work to make it work when relationships get challenging instead of just tossing in the towel? :)
 illumanight
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 12
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:30:57 PM
funny to watch everyone put pof down........and it`s the MEMBERS!!!!!!!! LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AT ALL OF YAS!!!!!!!! .........you`re all putting yourselves down ......jeeeeeees...........
 Naughtical
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 13
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:34:35 PM
Good woman says good bye to good man...good luck.
Good grief!!!
 hwy40bluz
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 14
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:36:53 PM
illumanight, we are ALL talking about the members on POF, not POF. Thanks, I needed a good laugh.
 illumanight
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 15
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/28/2008 5:41:07 AM
exactly and by all of you talking about other members negatively ....ur putting each other down and yourselves and that in turn is hilarious..........no wonder we don`t get anywhere.......
 hwy40bluz
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 16
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:11:54 PM
illumanight, we are not talking bad about POF. Actually, YOUR profile invites everyone to chat with you on yahoo messenger. You're killing me !!
 goddess08
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 17
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:23:21 AM
I was a member on a paid site and I can tell that all you guys have said do apply. I will never understand why someone would pay money to be on a dating site but does not want to meet in person. They will call you, text you and e-mail forever if they could but when you ask them to meet nothing. At least on POF it's free.

Good luck to all.
 IGiveUpLemmeOuttaHere
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 18
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:47:46 AM
POF is to dating websites as the bargain bin at the Dollar General store is to department stores. We're all a bunch of scratch and dents, sometimes with parts of us missing in mind, heart, or body. We've tossed ourselves in here in hopes that ultimately, we won't be written off and dumped as trash. Maybe, someone clever and thoughtful, while rummaging around in here, will see the value and beauty in one of us, inherent in all of us, that only a little attention and TLC will reveal to its potential for living a loving life.
 IGiveUpLemmeOuttaHere
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 19
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:48:31 AM
POF is to dating websites as the bargain bin at the Dollar General store is to department stores. We're all a bunch of scratch and dents, sometimes with parts of us missing in mind, heart, or body. We've tossed ourselves in here in hopes that ultimately, we won't be written off and dumped as trash. Maybe, someone clever and thoughtful, while rummaging around in here, will see the value and beauty in one of us, inherent in all of us, that only a little attention and TLC will reveal to its potential for living a loving life.
 DrivingGuy
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 20
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:06:51 AM
I hear you on this one man. I have been on this site off and on since the fall of 2006 and I've had no real success. I've met many women in person, gone on dates, talked on the phone and emailed lots but it seems (like many others say and confirm for myself) that women on here (like anywhere else if you think about it) say what the want/looking for but in reality they don't act like it when the kind of guy approaches them or talks to them. It's like many of the women on here are expecting some sort of big drop on their heads and prince charming is going to be right there. I think that also a big part of why this site isn't as great as it sounds and looks to the new person on here is because many of the same people troll on here and don't really make anything happen for themselves on a personal level and with interacting with others. Overall I think that even if a guy has good looks, some money and anything else under his belt that it'll never be enough even then. Good luck to you bro, I hope a door opens for you one day!

Matt
 midwesterndude
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 21
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:27:26 PM
The place is free, man. You don't have to buy drinks for strange women, or stack up your car on the way home after drowning your sorrows. Lighten up and take it easy.

Those of you who say women aren't responding to what they say they're looking for are missing the mark. It's up to you to help them figure out they need you. The written stuff can be so much window dressing.
 Tee62
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 22
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:10:54 AM
Uh Yeah, I think if your not satisfied then get the hell out! This is a free site, and has anybody had any better luck with a paying site? I really think it's the luck of the draw..I have met people through here that have become awesome friends. I haven't met my "soulmate",lol, but hey I haven't given up on it either. Everyone has their own ideas about what they are looking for and just because it hasn't happened yet is no reason to blame this place, forpete sake, get a damn life.... JMO
 Tee62
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 23
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:12:40 AM
This is great! Thanx for the insight!
 boisegoodbadboy
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 24
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:24:30 AM

We're all a bunch of scratch and dents, sometimes with parts of us missing in mind, heart, or body.


hopefully you were speaking just for yourself..
 runzwithscissors!
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Good man says goodbye
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:24:56 AM
AMEN!!!! It's sort of like being left on the island of misfit toys.... sounds as if shes the lucky one!! Best to you both !!!
Show ALL Forums  > Testimonials  > Good man says goodbye