Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > ladies who are `happily divorced`      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 5
ladies who are `happily divorced`Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I can answer this one. He was needy, whiny, neglectful, suspicious, drunk - the whole rock and roll. I stayed in that marriage thinking I had to give it my best shot. By time we split I was relieved to be away from him. When people asked why I hadn't remarried after 10 yrs my answer was that I had taken the cure.

Being alone is better than being in a bad marriage. That does not mean that I don't want to get to know anyone else and, maybe - just maybe, find that someone that I respect, enjoy and adore for the rest of my life. If it doesn't happen then I'll just become that crazy ol' cat lady scaring the neighborhood kids.
 smiles0527
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 7
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 10:08:14 PM
Truth is, going thru a divorce is never easy, even if the relationship was not so good. With that said, it is very nice to cook when you want to, not have to live with constant disappointment (which many of us did) and know what to expect in your day to day life. I am happy to be happy with ME! I am also open to being "happy" with someone else in my life.
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 10
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:20:30 PM
So let us presume a woman writes "I am miserably divorced and utterly despise my freedom. I would be a nun, but they have too much fun."

Nobody will write this woman but the "penus picture" crowd and she will eagerly reply with tips on mushroom cultivation.


Ugh.
 nycdoctor
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 16
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:12:15 AM
those ladies are lying to themselves
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 23
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 9:10:57 AM
At the time, I considered the divorce to be the worst thing that had ever happened to me. One year after the divorce I realized that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, 8 years later when I look at where I am vs where she is (emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc) I become grateful for her folly.

So, these people are just telling you they've lived a bad relationship and they're glad they're out and they wont do it again.

Now what you have to do is wait until they remove all references to their divorce, their ex and all the "dont wants" from their profiles because its then that they have healed to a point where you can actually build something meaningful with them.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 31
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:47:33 PM
As much as I hate being single, and even if I were going to live for 10 million years, I had rather be single for the rest of my life than go back to an ex.

I am not happy I am divorced but am happy that I am not married to who I was married to.

I don't have anything like that in my profile, but if I did, it would be more like: Being single sucks, looking for man to one day marry and together we can find true freedom in being with just each other.
 Fefe_FXDL
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 32
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:52:05 PM

so heres my question,if this is really true why are they starting dating again if they have never been so happy to be free?


Cuz sometimes the pressure of society gets to me, and I think I SHOULD be dating...but as soon as I meet someone new, I am reminded of how much I like being SINGLE!
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 38
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:07:03 AM
Stay single, your pockets will jingle!!!


 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 39
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:17:35 AM
LOL!!! This Frog is a bloomin' GENIUS!!!!

Now what you have to do is wait until they remove all references to their divorce, their ex and all the "dont wants" from their profiles because its then that they have healed to a point where you can actually build something meaningful with them.
you are soooooo RIGHT!
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 40
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:49:27 AM
I guess happily divorced means, releived that they are out of a undersireable situation, does not always men bad,
some have divorced because they loved someone else even if the marriage was good .

To me one or both have lacked a "good" quality as a person, divorse happens not because both people were patient good loving quality human beings.

People may disagree on this and say they were not just compatable, to me it is the level of human quality that makes a good loving partner for keeps.
 Hopeneverdissapoints
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 42
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/6/2012 2:00:45 PM
It's really pretty simple, actually...
"marriage"=MISERY

"divorce"= HAPPINESS

Got it?
Get it?
Good.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 48
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:52:38 PM
lol; I agree op; pretty funny. I think it's a cop out to be honest. They love to rip on their ex on what a loser or a jerk they are, but they forget about taking responsibility for choosing him in the first place. If they are so bad then what does that say about the person who picked them?

That's why peoples past matters. I wont date someone who is a serial dater choosing scumbags. That person has issues.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 52
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/8/2012 6:15:33 AM

why are they starting dating again
so they can find some cutie patootie that makes them feel "hypr-sexual" & gets their juices going and have mad, crazy, nasty, funny sex ;oP
 blissness108
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 53
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/8/2012 6:53:33 AM
I hope to be "peacefully" or "at deep peace" divorced.

I don't think loss is ever a happy circumstance, but I do understand why and how that could be written.

No matter how bad things devolved in my marriage there were some incredibly wonderful times.
 Hopeneverdissapoints
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 54
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/8/2012 8:12:57 AM
I dunno anymore... Maybe it's because of the way things unfolded in my own divorce but I really have NO...and I mean NOT ONE... single happy memory of my marriage anymore. I have happy memories of my kids, but all that is left of the memories of my marriage is charred remains.

I loved my ex-wife, I really did. I would have described myself as "happily" married. For the most part I loved being with her, I thought the things that our marriage wrestled with were pretty typical.

The trouble was the "her" she shared with me wasn't anything near the REAL "her." She proved to be a VERY GOOD liar, not just to me but also to our friends who were shocked when the marriage suddenly broke up and it was revealed that she was having an affair. Looking back, I cannot find a single memory that isn't tainted "post hoc" by the end of the story. I don't think she ever "loved" me... she used me and then threw me away. That's just the hard and fast bottom line truth of the situation.

I am still grieving and on any given day you will find me at some level of peace about my marriage. But the hard part is that it was all a lie, it was all a fiction.

I quite literally would prefer to lose limbs rather than go through that again... I'm not exactly "happily" divorced, but...
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 56
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/8/2012 2:26:00 PM
Glad I am divorced, but not at the time when we were going threw it! Things ended peacefully. Was married to an alcoholic, we always had money issues, and who committed adultery with two different women. I had enough and divorced him! Our kids are raised and it is my turn to enjoy life with or without someone.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 61
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/17/2012 2:16:22 AM
I don't make it a point to discuss my divorce or how I feel about it. It happened a while ago, so there is no need to feel anything about it, feeling free or otherwise. I am in the dating scene; this should be a clear sign that I seek my partner and i am comfortable in doing so and that I am eligible for it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 64
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/17/2012 6:33:13 AM
The wording is kind of odd, mixing in happy and divorced, but I think it's another way of saying "I don't have any baggage". It also makes me wonder if they were ever happily married before they became happily divorced.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 65
view profile
History
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/17/2012 6:41:49 AM

I do consider myself much happier than what I was, sadly I'm a bit wiser too. I think true happiness has a bit of naievete and innocence thrown in which I no longer possess.


People who are are really happy do not require blinders or some type of emotional/intellectual half-wit perspective that allows them to ignore life's unpleasantness; they are happy because they choose to be regardless of what is going on in their lives.


i suppose what i wonder is whether some ladies wait until their children are grown up, then think 'now i can carry on with my career', and divorce is just a part of that strategy. why else does the divorce rate parallel the number of mothers returning to work


Divorce as part of career strategy, um no. Those coincidences are related to the empty nest and people discovering they have nothing in common, greater financial independence afforded by working, and the abandonment of staying in the marriage for the children no matter how bad the marriage is; children are gone, shedding bad marriage.


I am still grieving and on any given day you will find me at some level of peace about my marriage. But the hard part is that it was all a lie, it was all a fiction.


I think we do ourselves a disservice when we give the other party so much power that we abandon the integrity of the way we acted based on the way we felt at the time. Gifts are not measured by deservedness consequently if you meant what you did and said and acted out of love, that's what you should remember, not whether she reciprocated or deserved the kind and loving behavior you exhibited.


I WOULD SUGGEST THAT 'HAPPILY DIVORCED' IS A RED FLAG AT THE VERY LEAST


The problem with red flags is that sometimes that are just beyond stupid. Happily divorced could mean still in emotional pain, could mean that they are running around like hos enthralled with their new freedom, could mean they are bitter and jaded and might stay that way, could mean they had a fairly amicable divorce and are co-parenting their children well and without discord, could be meant to alert you to the fact that they are divorced and are emotionally stable and healthy. So the whole problem really is semantics about the phrase happily divorced. Easily solved by sending a few e-mails or whatever and asking what they meant by the statement. Whatever they respond would surely indicate whether it is really a red flag or the reader's paranoia.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > ladies who are `happily divorced`