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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sweetazeyes
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 1
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships? Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
i think it is doing just that
and i hate to see relationshps 10,20 years from now.that is if there are any true relationships and intimacy in the future.

television,movies,video games and the internet are not just
ruinng love.consider how friendships are made or going to be made in the future.

real people meet face to face and thats how we should all meet.i know the web works for people but what about the day when all non family relationships are forged online.all the crap you must go through now to meet somebody just a thousand times worse in years to come.

serious people looking for love and friendship should not expect ones they are interested in to play email and phone tag for weeks on end.
meeting in public gives people no excuse not to meet quickly (if in the same area).you meet strangers in public daily whats the real reason so many play this game?if your like me
i prefer to know just your name and see your picture then meet.false perceptions arise if ths internet thing is prolonged.

same with porn.i doubt any decent lady is going to do the things we see in porn.internet porn ruins regular sex and causes viagra usage.after all getting it up is going to be harder just having normal sex after watching this crap.



i'm 34 years old and i have never watched porn or bought a porn video or magazine.

why?
its just like a topless bar to me.i ain't going if i ain't participating.paying a dancer seems silly.get a hooker and be activly involved in blowing your money i say.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 2
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:50:31 PM

i doubt any decent lady is going to do the things we see in porn.internet porn ruins regular sex and causes viagra usage.after all getting it up is going to be harder just having normal sex after watching this crap.


Nooooooooooooo! Say it isn't so! Porn causes Viagra usage? How dare it? I insist that men stop using Viagra while they watch porn! Now!

What the hell is "normal" or "regular" sex? Maybe if more "decent" women participated in "abnormal" sex, so many men wouldn't be viewing porn.

Gads, Gwen is indecent.

Edit: I looked at the OP's profile AFTER I wrote the above. Did I get this straight? The OP is a cross-dresser who is concerned about what is abnormal and what isn't???

 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 3
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History
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:35:13 PM
I have to admit this is one of the craziest and most out there post I have seen in a while...

This is from YOU op:

i am very interested in finding a woman who is very open minded in all aspects of life.
Does that mean you want her brains to fall out, or she can be into internet porn???

Then you follow this thread up by saying get a hooker it is more real, and worth more????

With porn watching, there isn't any worry of catching anything other than hell from some uptight woman, OR MAN that isn't into porn... FINE, a persons choice is their choice... However having a hooker exposes the USER to all sorts of unmentionable nasties... Think I will take selection A thanks...

However the declaration that
i doubt any decent lady is going to do the things we see in porn.internet porn ruins regular sex and causes viagra usage.after all getting it up is going to be harder just having normal sex after watching this crap.


Is this calling the kettle black or what? You are a cross dresser, and put cross dressing pics up, instead of a picture of a MAN, but porn is off limits, however hookers aren't...

OHHHH BOY... This isn't Kansas any more... Calling planet earth, please help us on this one....


OP, I have had my full experience with guys using porn, and many DON'T have to use viagra if it is used as a spice up...

I don't know what kind of porn YOU HAVEN'T watched, but there is plenty that decent, sensual, fun, OPEN MINDED women do, and can respectably go to church the next day if they so chose...
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 4
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:10:06 PM
it's the dance of life, my friend....
Some people join in, some people don't. You don't have to...
The sex lives of people have changed over the last hundred years from the mores of an agrarian society, like "bend over babe, we're gonna need some ranchhands to help us with our herd." to "What's your sign? Would you like another congnac? That perfume you're wearing is ALLUUUUUUUUUUUUURING!!!"

So people make love more now that we have more spare time. Is that bad?
and if we do it more, we naturally try to have a higher quality level... so we embrace it as art and try to refine it for the sake of our enjoyment: ergo-porn.

We start to watch it because we're curious, and it can be addicting at first, but I think after awhile, you can take it or leave it... I certainly can... and there was a period where I couldn't go a day without looking for something.

Consider this, though... psychologists have long maintained that at our sexual peaks, males have some sex related thought about every ten seconds.

What's the diff? except for movies to help the experience along a little bit?

It's not like people aren't raising families or aren't being faithful anymore. For the reason that you're so shocked: I might guess you believe that: at one time before this, american society didn't have as much divorce or extramarital or premarital sex...

This is hardly the case.

Afew hundred years ago, in Europe, landlords had the right in society to sleep with any peasant woman on their estate that was getting married.. on her wedding night, no less. In times shortly before that, most males didn't even HAVE wives. They were slaves. Only warriors and kings had women. If you were a male and hadn't killed anyone, you were treated as the social equivalent of a baby or a woman as well...

Yaknow when you go to some geneaologist? and they always tell you that you're a descendant of some great king or emperor or something?

The shocking part (to me) was to find out this is TRUE... because the leaders of most societies were the only males who got to sleep with women!!!

Anthropologists estimate there are now 600 million + direct descendants of Ghenghis Khan...

go figure...

The first settlers of the Americas were religious fanatics, who were led out of the darkness a little bit by the freemasons of their day: washington, jefferson, adams, etc... but the old cultural beliefs about the world being ready to end and we're all going to hell in a handbasket and an urealistic view of the world are still with us to some degree... being propegated for profit especially in the Bible belt...

Okay... I realize I went off the deep end here... but to draw conclusions that porn will ruin us seems abit deeeeeep as well. I think we'll survive.

:-D
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 5
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:14:49 PM
"It puts the lotion on its skin.. It puts the lotion on its skin"


Op i have to ask.... Is that look working for you?
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 6
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:46:37 PM
i think what you are trying to say is that 2 people should look monogamously to eachother for sexual thrills not some false fantasy of variety and perversion.
i agree with you it warps people's perception's and makes them callous toward relationships, love, being faithful and staying with one partner for life.
"it is the mentality that is is okay to look but not touch"
if you want to look, i think you should be looking at a real person not airbrushed people doing the nasty. unless of course you are a swinger.
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 7
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:52:02 PM
I see one thing alot of people don't like about porn... that it pressures people to perform sex up to a certain quality level...do certain things that they might not feel comfortable doing... because it's expected.

In fact, I think everyone goes through an anxiety about this early in their sex lives...

and let's face it: some people just don't like sex that much, while some others love to do it... five times a day, maybe...

We're all different.
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 8
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:00:48 PM
Many things that some people would never do, like oral sex, woman on top, doggie style, etc... are things that many people have a hard time excepting.... yet porn makes them the norm in the culture that watches it. I think that makes many people uncomfortable.
We have many in our society who had very religious upbringings and consider any sex act to be a "weakness of the flesh" in a way. Oral sex is viewed as a debasement of the self. "Doggie style" is considered to be acting like animals, etc, etc...

Porn= culture clash
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 9
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:26:39 PM
OPie, with a list of interests like this:

Interests
music movies reading
internet history art
travel sports dogs
cats bdsm s&m
femdom dominant women body worship
erotic massage submission servitude
crossdressing womens clothing
, I wouldn't worry too much about internet porn (or any other kind, either. You already have quite enough on your plate.


 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 10
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History
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:09:52 PM
woobytoodsday

I wouldn't worry too much about internet porn (or any other kind, either. You already have quite enough on your plate.


You go girl

 sweetazeyes
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 11
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:23:07 AM
these forums would be more helpful and insightful if only the people who can offer intelligent insights and opinions about the thread.

reading the profile of the person who started the thread and posting stupid and negative comments or passing judgement and attacking the character of the OP is totally uncalled for.


i guess nobody but myself realizes that about half of any given thread in these forums are wasted on comments by those that are immature,close minded,pea brained idiots that love performing their comedy act for free to those of us that didn't ask for their jokes,attacks on others and general stupidity.

this is a good question about relationships and how internet porn affects all of us as a society.

porn has been around forever.but never has so much been available and never has so many niches and extreme and really off the wall porn been available to anyone no matter what age and what income level.

i doubt people 100 years ago had access to brazilian shemale porn where surgically altered people perform extreme anal fistng and severe genital torture on somebody else. or anything else you can think up.

so that argument is not really even revelvent to our present day and age we live in.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 12
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:55:14 AM
You want a serious discussion, you posed two statements, not one. the what do you think part seems to be something you yourself are not liking the answer too...

Your first statement:
elevision,movies,video games and the internet are not just
ruinng love.consider how friendships are made or going to be made in the future.


Secondly you go on to talking about that people should meet up fast, and of couse this is after having a picture, and getting past false preceptions...

Third, you go on to say no decent women would do what is done in porn...ET AL...


Msg 4, states she has done things seen in porn, and doesn't feel it has caused her problems, infact it has enhanced some of her life.

Msg 6, states porn hasn't ruined his or his friends life.

Msg 7, me I have not had problems with people watching porn or having to over use viagra.

Msg 10, gave a very insightful answer about his opinions

Msg 11, likes porn.

Msg 12 doesn't believe porn has been an issue.

Msg 13, believes that porn helps people learn new technique.

Msg 14 addresses pon not being a problem, but the addiction to it is.

Msg 19, seems to understand what you are getting at, then seems to have mixed feeling about it...

Talk about judgmental
guess nobody but myself realizes that about half of any given thread in these forums are wasted on comments by those that are immature,close minded,pea brained idiots that love performing their comedy act for free to those of us that didn't ask for their jokes,attacks on others and general stupidity


Perhaps the American society isn't ready to address someone seriously when their thread is not based on one theme, that has valid recognized sources to back up the statement, other that speculations, and conjecture.

I have a friend that his wife booted him out of the house for being a porn addict... What was worse was he was in the Navy, and was able to have so many intimate encounters during his marriage, he doesn't know how many he had...

He current hooked up with a bar fly in Oct, that doesn't particularly enjoy sex, and he's starting his old habits again, and is on the prowl in person, and on the net.

There is a lot of things that is leading to the erosion of romantic values, and it isn't just porn on the internet.

As for the past, there isn't one of us that can really speak with much authority as to what was and wasn't a norm, OTHER THAN knowing there wasn't the internet.

Perhaps you may consider a trip to Europe and see some of the views of what is considered NORMAL sex entertainment... You may actually be extremely surprised to see how America is still way behind the times when it comes to open sexuality, and things that they do for sexual entertainment and pleasure...

The social impact of porn from the internet HAS had problems in marriages, and the like... However does that mean we should try stuffing the genie back into the bottle, when it has fully been let out?

If you look at some state jurisdiction there are certain sex acts that are still considered illegal, they weren't repealed because in general they weren't enforced in the first place.

Here's just a suggestion, if you want people to take you MORE seriously perhaps phrasing your inquiry on point, and have your profile reflect your belief in your quiry. Your original post was very disconnect, and once a person looked at you profile it was even more so.



 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 13
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:46:18 PM


LMAO I am laughing even more that people are reacting to a cross dresser making a big deal about porn but you got the speeches from stranger in the house as if hes not reading the rest and getting the jist of it all LLOL

Christi... I guess I'm not living in the moment as much as you...
to me: the question is The Thing... not the inquirer.

I'm just like that.

 jetty65
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 14
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:17:09 PM

like oral sex, woman on top, doggie style, etc... are things that many people have a hard time excepting.... yet porn makes them the norm in the culture that watches it. I think that makes many people uncomfortable.


If this is what porn was all about I wouldn't see a problem. But thats not the reality of it all. Porn has gone to extremes , and can only get more and more extreme.

Discovering each other naturally has lost its touch. I had a boyfriend that read a lot of porn and of course wanted to try it out. I really felt like a experiment instead of just doing what came naturally.


We have many in our society who had very religious upbringings and consider any sex act to be a "weakness of the flesh" in a way


Some might be more accurate, most religions believe in monogomy and with the amount of diseases out there its not a bad idea.

Whatever a couple feels mutually comfortable with is acceptable as long as both are respected.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 15
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:39:34 PM
Jetty, I find this statement of yours interesting...


If this is what porn was all about I wouldn't see a problem. But thats not the reality of it all. Porn has gone to extremes , and can only get more and more extreme.

Discovering each other naturally has lost its touch. I had a boyfriend that read a lot of porn and of course wanted to try it out. I really felt like a experiment instead of just doing what came naturally.


Porn or no porn, people have been doing very interesting and sometimes down right ummmm distasteful things since the beginning of man kind... They didn't have porn on the internet to figure it out either...

I was an x ray tech before the invent of internet porn, and some of the things I x rayed for as well as my co workers was MIND BLOWING...

This was ALL in the name of experimentation, and what gave them pleasure...

There are people that have a drive for things that to another is most disgusting, but they are willing to do it to please their partner...

Even more fascinating you brought of religions teaching monogamy, yep uh huh... I have read some raunch and male attitudes about how women are dangling sex as a carrot that claim to be members of major religions who supposedly believe in monogamy, but rules seem to be made to be broken..

I had also thought in my younger days these were things that had a valid point, Like no sex before marriage, and dang ended up marrying someone that had actual zilch for a sex drive... However he loved to dump oodles of money into going to the strip club... THAT was a blow to my self esteem and I really wondered what the heck I did wrong...

Not an absolute dang thing...

I am not picking at you, because after the OP reissued his complaint... People have been stating that it is wrong, and is destroying romance and intimacy...

A person addicted to it is an issue, however that doesn't mean the person is incapable of romance or intimacy but has an addiction problem... No worse than a drug or alchohol problem, no better..

If you haven't seen all that can be had out there in pornoland, I would have to tell you there isn't to many places of extreme that can be gotten too...

HOWEVER I do believe that people still can have romantic loving relationships, and not be addicted and ruining their intimacy through porn... In fact, as another poster said, you would be pretty surprised at how many women have no problem with accepting a little porn into their sex life... (Captian, girl on gril thing... Yeah no thanks LOL)

What one person considers ok and normal, may not be what another considers ok and normal... Blaming one industry as ruining people from romantic intimacy... That I am very hard pressed to agree with... JMHO
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 16
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is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:51:23 PM
dear male/female op (and i truly have no problem with cross dressers, so i mean no disrespect) - perhaps you should have checked out just what you were getting yourself into when you decided to start this thread. you need to realize no matter what you wish to receive from forum posting, you are always opening yourself up to the opinions of others, who probably are not gonna stroke your ego.....or other parts of you either when you are having a truly schizophrenic moment.
was it the 'good girl' side of you that wrote this thread, but the 'bad girl' side of you that wrote your profile?
as was already mentioned, your interests included "bdsm, s&m, femdom, dominant women, body worship, erotic massage, submission, and servitude ".
and the line pasted above is so graphic and detailed and horrific that i can't imagine the innocent and horrified 'decent female' you claim to be with your original post here is the 'real you'.
you got really nasty, you know, and there's no need for it.
don't get so angry with us when it's your own demons you seem to be fighting here.

and for the record, no, porn is not and has not ruined real intimacy in my relationships. has it for you ???? cuz when you write these lines, "i have never watched porn or bought a porn video or magazine.why? its just like a topless bar to me.i ain't going if i ain't participating"..... i wonder because it seems to me most of your interests are prime for porn filmmaking....really.
 sweetazeyes
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 17
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:23:48 PM
i'm not fighting any "demons"
and i'm not looking for any answers about my profile or my likes or dislikes.i posed a question to start this thread and gave some of my thoughts on the subject.

i didn't browse the profiles of others making comments in this thread or other threads just so i could judge,analyze,berate,
belittle or attack them and/or their fantasies,lifestyle choices,etc.

i'll comment on your postings either in agreement or not in agreement.but i have not ever read a forum posters profile and proceeded to use that as a basis to assume why they have made comments and/or opinions in any thread they either started or replyed to.

my question was narrow in scope and was looking at the bigger picture of internet porn and how this has changed our views as a society on intimacy with our partners and expectations of loyalty an respect for those we choose to love and have intimate relationships with.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 18
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:23:47 PM
The Internet is for Porn!
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 19
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:28:50 PM
well I think it lessens or cheapens sex; it make it like a toy; it desensitizes you and if you get too much into it, its all you think about; its like a drug and you have to keep pushing the envelope to be pleased.

Sex is awesome I think but porn all the time isn't good.
 opnmydm
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 20
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/5/2008 5:47:44 AM
wow, you don't know what your missing, i do agree porn can be addictive to some, but so can alcohol, drugs, smoking, washing your hands, cleaning..anything can be addictive, but if treated right, it is such a great thing
 cutepoet
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 21
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:05:38 AM
Suzy, I must confess to everyone who have contributed to this thread since i have been reading every comment by everyone, on this particular subject, i have not seen anyone who gave a straight ANSWER than SUZY. SUZY, you are the best, you deserve an AWARD for your straight and honest thread. THANK YOU. I WANT TO KNOW YOU BETTER.

OP you shouldn't have said you never bought any porn magazine, or watched any porn movie. because if you say that you havn't watched or bought any porn magazine, then how do you know what they do, and what it is all about? i love people who are honest with themselves, not just some lady seeking attention. You could have just told us you wanted attention, instead of writing and saying what even a deaf person knows is not true. Common, there's no way we can stop porn movies? Because they use it to make money. Ok we all know tobacco smoking is dangerous to health, they always warn smokers to stop smoking, but why don't they go to the companies producing tobacco and shut them down???????????
So as far as we are in the computer age, there's no how we can stop a man or a woman from watching porn movies. Even those who say they don't watch porn that much, they are the ones who are addicted to watching it. Be real, come out as you are, no one is going to kill you if you say you watch porn,and it doesn't make any lady onthis site, not write you, or get to know you. It's just your mind.
And now, this is a very interesting topic here,bcos alot of people say they don't watch porn movies cos it's not good, and in their profiles, these same people say they are very honest, and sincere. How can you say you are honest, when you come here to post a thread lying about what you do and what you don't??????????? Common people.

OK I HAVE A QUESTION TO ASK? IF YOU KNOW YOU LOVE SEX LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YES I DO. IF YOU DON'T SAY NO I DON'T.
THEN FOR THOSE WHO DON'T, I'LL MAKE SURE I GO THROUGH THEIR PROFILES,AND SEE IF THEY SAY THEY ARE HONEST AND SINCERE.
NOW START::::: DO YOU LOVE SEX.
YES I DO!
 Sweet J-me Baby
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 22
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:22:08 AM
There is no problem with porn, whether it's coming via the Internet, movies or magazines. I think it can actually for a relationship provided the guy is not addicted to it and replacing intimacy with his partner with the fantasy porn provides. I was in a very good, healthy relationship where he would share his porn with me. We had a wonderful sex life, filled with passion and desire for each other.

The problem arose when just Internet porn was no longer enough for him, but was having cyber sex with other women...having a connection and conversation while enjoying sex with somebody via the webcam was a line he crossed and I found unacceptable.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 23
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:25:19 AM
Lusting after another woman so you get aroused to screw the woman you are with is not enhancing relationships. Porn will make you hornier but it will not make you closer to your mate.

I have NEVER had problems with my sex life; and I've never been into porn. I think its pretty sick too.

The divorce rate is the highest in history; the break up rate of those that live together is about 85%; read many of the posts; they start out, "I was living with......".

Cheating is at an all time high; 25% of teens in the U.S. have an STD; 40% of African Americans do. Its out of control. There are some people; including 2 posters on this site and many that have agreed; that having sex with a child is ok; Porn and sex is like a toy.

Porn desensitizes you to sex; If you see a breast, you want to see it all; you see 2 girls kiss, then you want to see them do a 3 some; after that toys, etc..... Many of my friends are into porn and they talk some pretty crazy stuff. Many are also divorced. Not saying thats the reason but it doesnt' help.

I'm never needed to get aroused by using porn. I've been lucky I guess and had passionate people to date. When I get married, porn is not going to be involved. Never has never will. Seeing sleazy men and women having sex in a video is not a turn on for me. I'm also an American though and I think everyone should have a right to do with they want. just not my thing.
 sweetazeyes
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 24
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:12:40 AM
people are to blame but theres so much porn and sexual info being put in our our lifes everyday anymore that i thought this was a relevent topic.thank s to everyone who posted.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 25
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History
is internet porn ruining real intimacy in relationships?
Posted: 5/3/2010 9:36:49 AM
what are your souces, jaemaeg? i'm interested to learn more. especially about how porn outearns petroleum.

Porn ... accounts for 64% of divorce in this country.

Porn is EXTREMELY addictive and it's why it's the biggest money making industry in the world.
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