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 AUTHOR
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 1
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee Page 1 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
How about a place to tell Paren-Tales of which we can almost all speak? They can be human tales, fur baby tales... up to ya'll :) or better yet...any fam-tales you want to tell...let 'em bump!

(Bringing this home)




9:35am
RINGGGG!
(hesitantly...)
Mom?

Hey Babe! Is something wrong? Are you sick? Are you in trouble?

Um well...I may be when I'm through... You know that Cinco De Mayo celebration we went to yesterday...wellllll Mom? Today is our celebration in class. Will you pleaseeeeee make some of Nana's taco stuff? As good as she makes hers?

Trevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvorrrrrrrrrrrrrr I've been in the office an hour, babe.

I know Mom, but please? Everyone brought something but me. I forgot....

To mention this to me yesterday!?!! A week ago?
I'll do what I can-that's all I can do, okay babe?

Okay...hey Mom? Thank you.

Click.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Haul azz to the store, pickup black beans, taco seasoning, new potatoes, velveeta, rotel, explode through the office like a cyclone...straight to the kitchen.

CHOP CHOP CHOP
DICE DICE DICE

Pour it all in the bowl. Micro time! 3 minutes, stir...3 more minutes.

Perfection!

1pm
Mom! You came! Thank you! Is it as good as Nana's taco stuff?

Without a doubt.

Love you Mom!
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 2
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:16:00 PM
Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I didn't think you'd ever be here...
(cutting eyes to look @ the BIG MEAN brother)
Thank God you made it!:)

Sweet huge hugs from little arms wrap around my neck holding me tightly for dear life as he scurries around my neck to my back...peeping out...blue eyed innocence...

Alright, let's have it. Who did what to whom?

He DONATED my puppies, MOMA! (says the pitcher king)

I did NOT! They were on MY game! It's not yours. I have to suffer through your STUPID baseball games & it's MINE! I NEVER complain, I never throw a fit, I ROLLARBLADE during your AAU basketball practice w/o a peep.

He also BOUGHT over a $1000 worth of dog chewie toys for them & spent all of MY MONEY.

Oh yeah?!!! Mom - tell him. I DESERVE to spend all his money.

(Hmmmmm...always wondered how it felt to have someone spend the money I had set aside for something )

Another day in the life. Have I mentioned how much I love them?
Being a Paren-Tale is not a job for the faint of heart.
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 4
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:17:42 PM
123, that is so sweet! I bet your eyes watered, didn't they?
Heading out to game! Love ya!!!
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 6
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:24:18 PM
love it, darlin lol
I'll drop in a couple writes when I've got my kid up here inspiring in my ear. hahaha

Fvck
Just remembered they both have birthdays comin up
Maybe even as soon as next week
sheesus, I better call mommie

the boy's gonna be eight and the girl 12 or thirteen
how much is this gonna cost me?
Kids still dig chuckEcheese hittin puberty?
don't wanna give 'em a suckie memory

I guess I can never go wrong with a picnic at the lake
let them take turns drivin the boat all day
there's a big playground if they wanna swing
or try to climb across the monkey bar thing

the girl came back from her bio dad's last year a vegetarian
and her favorites are bologna, hot dogs and chicken
hahaha yeah, tell me about it
here's your medium rare new york veggie strip

Pandy's got some great ones about her two daughters
I wouldn't tell 'em without askin her permission
besides, she'll tell the story better
best to wait and let her

my boy looks about like harry potter
lol and he's got eyes that allow him to pull much over
"don't try that shyt on me, son
I invented that look"

hahaha Love ya, darlin
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 8
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:47:16 PM
So Mom....(said the blue eyed blonde boy) I've been doing alot of thinking about my future (all 6years old & 3ft 8 inches of him).

Lay it on me, babe...what's running through your mind?

Well, yanno...(holy cow! I think he's kin to Brawny), I'm on a reading level 10 right now & I just "have ta be" on a reading level 2 to graduate Kindergarten.

Yes sir, you are & I think it's awesome you are such a voracious reader.

I'm not a hungry reader mom...(so very solemn) but I think I need to stay in school this summer. I don't want to get out for the summer & run wild. Is that okay?

Yeah baby, what do you think we should do about it?

Can you look for me a year round school, Mom? I don't need many breaks. I just want to learn. Okay, I'm done. I love you, Mom. G'night.

 genegem
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 11
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/7/2008 1:44:25 PM
Kids' Thoughts on Marriage


HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming.

--Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
--Kirsten, age 10


WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
--Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

--Freddie, age 6


HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
--Derrick, age 8


WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
--Lori, age 8


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
--Martin, age 10


WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers
and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
--Craig, age 9


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
--Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

--Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
--Howard, age 8


IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going
to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
--Theodore, age 8

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
--Anita, age 9


HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8

"And the #1 Favorite is........"


HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
--Ricky, age 10
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 12
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/7/2008 1:45:33 PM

Keep thinking about Jujubee's son who wants to go to school year round, ummm who wants to go school year round?

No doubt, darlin
sure wasn't like that when we were kids
droolin for the bell to ring marking summer vacation
and a week later we drove our moms nuts from our boredom

lol
yanno it's true
all of you do
and the first day back to school
you were prolly late too
I always was
just because
it was dang near across the street
if I'd have ridden the bus Iwouldn't have been tardy
mom shoving me out the door before her first coffee
my scoobie doo lunch box packed to it's limits
with an extra sammich and twinkie in it
this is why I don't give my kid's mom more shyt
I don't have the tolerance that come's with tits

"ya got two minutes to have your ass.es to the door
don't make me scream at you both anymore
we're leaving at exactly 7:30
or both of your ass.es belong to my teeth"

snarl

edit: Hey genegem! we're ladies now.. after all this time we're no longer whores!
woohoo!
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 13
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/7/2008 2:35:39 PM
Hey Wab, Ash, Geneg, Brawn! Remember back in the days when we were growing up? Everything was soooo much more fun-no electronics. :)



When the boys were little, we lived in the country. My ankles paid for every gopher & Cole & Trev hole to be found.

There was a small innocent looking puddle place in the front yard that was constantly getting new heaps of dirt in it. It started out with the little tiny gardner's hoe until they could carry the bigger "man tools" of the trade. As the rains came down, the puddle would evolve into a fullsized sink hole. Cole told Trev never to get in it when it was that deep or he'd go straight to China. Trev was terrified of it.

The rains came down. The puddle took on a life of it's own once again.

They dug from one hole to the next, scooped, carried, depostited dirt one pile after another.

Never one to choose his battles wisely, Cole got mad @ Trev & told him (in his 6 yr old @ the time wisdom), you put it in the wrong place, TREVOR.

Trev let another scoop fall & turned to walk away. Cole said HEY. I know you hear me.

WHAM, just enough mud to hold in a four yr old hand...upside Cole's head. He let him know there was more where that came from. Needless to say, hoes & shovels went to the wayside, glops & ganoodles of mud flew through the air @ mach nine.

Somehow, 4yr old Trev got 6 yr old Cole, flipped him, & landed him in the mud then started screaming bloody hell.

MOM!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!! I'm sending Cole to CHINA!!!!!
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 15
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:35:15 PM
Awwww Wab....that baby gets it from moma, huh? Best way to go of it?



You made my eyes water, E2S. Bet there was nothing finer than that, was there?
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 16
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:58:52 PM
all guys drink out of the faucet
the milk jug too when mother ain't lookin
I was gonna write somethin
but now the dogs are barkin'
hold on while I grab the shotgun

thank god, it wasn't the old lady droppin off the kids
how many hits of window pane did I just drop again?

my twelve year old looks like she's twenty two
what's a dad to do?
I just figured I'd grow my hair long
and carry my bat arround

I don't care how big they is
them boy's will all be frightened
when I step out
of the pick up truck
with my bat and my freak flag flyin

she'll prolly have to move to a different state
before she gets invited on a date
I'll knock his dad out of the ball park too
just for giving life to you

yeah, I actually carry a louisville slugger
it's much more intimidating than a gun
when I step outta the truck and have choked up
you better step away from my daughter

moo
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 17
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:03:39 PM
Who sings that song
so you like my daughter do you boy? yeah, we think she's something else....
somewhere it says i'll be cleanin' my gun

Ever seen the movie Waterboy w/ Adam Sandler & Kathy Bates? She tells him the wisest thing ANY moma of boys worth her salt knows...

Bobbie Bucheiux...girls are THE DEVIL. EVIL.

Now if they'd just take heed.
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 18
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:45:26 PM
Moma! Game tonight-don't forget! i'm so proud of my brother being a star!


awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

bottom of the 6th,he's caught all game

his number one fan is in the dugout handing him his powerade, rubbing his back...glowing to be near him...you sure are catching good tonight, Trev.

mom, can i get him a treat because he is catching so awesome?!

 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 19
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:34:30 PM
well...it has finally happened

yanno mom,(cripes-another brawny kid runnin' around)
this embarrassing me has gotta stop.

how'd i do that?!!!

you were just....ugh...anyway. don't yell @ me when i'm playing if i'm giving him a target to pitch to...and how come you always wear green & black? can i buy you a different color for Mothers' Day & can I shop without you this time?

I AM almost 11 now.



 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 21
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:08:03 AM
Awww, Wabbit! A mouse-Hunter! He might get tips from another Hunter you know & . Just think what they could do putting thier minds together!

I think I am going to let him buy me some clothes. After all...
he IS almost 11. (eleventy)
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 22
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/9/2008 5:47:06 PM
went out and lit the fire
one flick I remind you
and I didn't require any tender

I started tellin my son about boy scouts
and he said my sisters in that
I about fell down
In some school thing I volunteered to come lend a hand
and my even more estranger every day old lady told me
those scout masters all are gay

anyway, I showed him how I sharpen my bowie and then cut off half an oak tree
and whittled it down to cook one wienie
I can't believe that bytch
told you she was nuts

anyway.. the kid was happy lightin the fire
wants to do somemore
but, it's hot out and he's sleeping now
I'll go to my thread to write about his mother the whore
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 23
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:32:23 PM
Hey Brawn-wasn't it nice being with him?

Autumn, I would love to have seen those boys scatter!

Ajak ...that was beautiful. Amazing how many memories can be stuffed into the first 365 days, much less all the others, hmm?
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 24
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:22:49 AM
Discovering the Artist

It was early morning,
crack of dawn,
just waking up,
the brew was on.

The house was quiet,
all were asleep,
from the baby's room,
not even a peep!

I finished my shave,
and ...well, you know!
poured my first coffee,
I love it just so!

Then came her giggle,
she called out my name,
Dada, Dada, Dada,
awake she became!

A smile crossed my heart,
I rose to my feet,
went to her bedroom,
to bring out my sweet!

Close to the bedroom,
an odor arose,
as I opened the door,
she was naked...no clothes!

Standing in her crib,
all giggles and smiles,
her hands just a going,
oh those feminine wiles!

My eyes they watered,
my nose I did plug!
there was pooh on the crib,
the walls and the rug!

And still she kept painting,
hand prints quite clear,
smearing it in,
there's pooh everywhere!

My budding young artist,
gave one final rub!
as I gingerly raised her,
and right to the tub!
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 25
Paren-Tales of a Jujubee
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:10:01 PM
Shewwwwwwwie! Glad it was you & not me! Thank you for sharing, Mandrake-thank you for the honor you bestowed upon me also.


I'm beginning to wonder if they has taken over one of my angel boys. Maybe he's in the tween stages. I've been looking for better employment...benefits...the things any parent wants to be able to provide more for their children with. In the process, he throws a screaming cheetah fit feeling that if we moved *HOME*---hear the trumpets blare? then a job would fall in my lap.
Home is 10,000 the entire county-work is an hour drive for a decent job & we all know gas will be more than less before long-oh wait...it already is.

He.
wants to
go
back home.

Suddenly, he hates it here. We went through a transition getting here & growing roots & now...at the end of his 5th grade year, he revolts.

I'm completely puzzled. Nothing precipatated it. Suddenly, he doesn't get to do anything or go anywhere & none of it's about him.

 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 27
Long 'un
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:19:52 PM
^^^thank you, lucky & E2Sky^^^

There's been three games a week for the third & final week now.

Eli throws his pint sized arms up in the air, flops to his belly, & rolls down the steep hill by the ballfield. Khaki is another word for stain me, make your mom scrub me with spray n' wash for hours. He rolls to his towheaded size 12 feet, marches to where I'm sitting with my friend & says...I can't take anymore baseball. I've been as understanding as I know how, but I'm TIRED of IT. Can you hear what I'm saying? Where is the justice in this world? Where are the nachos that only taste good @ the ballpark?!!! Where is the bed? Is it over YET?! Trudging back up the hill for another roll as I think to myself....
dayummit, where is my camcorder when I need it?

So, Trev is finding out that being a good pitcher has a price & is a heavy weight on his shoulders. THIS, I hate about him playing sports. He has the God given natural talent to play any sport & look fluid while doing it. Parents...team mates, coaches.....all screaming' Trevor! Trevor! Trevor!!! Wonder he & the other two oldest kids don't have a nervous breakdown.

He's pitched 18 inning in the last three weeks. You can only have 6 innings a week. I've heard a few parents grumble because he can't pitch more, but I'm okay with it. He needs to be able to just enjoy the game & be a kid, yannno? Out of 18 innings, 15 have been shutout innings for him with 12 innings of solid strikeouts.

I think all sports have thier beauty & thier uglies. Watching the smallest guy on the team ( all 8 years old of him) hit the ball & smile so big he can't run...beauty....watching parents throw a fit & tell thier kid to chant ugly stupid crap for any team....not so pretty. They are a reflection of each parent that is raising them.

Eli had his reading level in Kindergarten tested this week. He was on a 12 & is now on a 16. Isn't there beauty in everything?

 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 29
Long 'un
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:09:08 PM
Moma, will my daddy be at graduation from Kindergarten? Baby...I don't know. It'd be cool if he were, huh? Can I go to Trev's grad even though I'm almost just a first grader? Yeah baby- we aren't going to miss it for the world.

Well, if you & me get to fifth grade, can I go to Space Camp with you like Trev did, please mom? I'd really behave. I'll even hold your hand & take care of you there.

I love you, mom. G'night.

Hey Mom....will you think over all I said? Please? G'night?
 genegem
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 30
Long 'un
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:48:24 AM


Watching the smallest guy on the team ( all 8 years old of him) hit the ball & smile
so big he can't run...beauty....watching parents throw a fit & tell thier kid to chant
ugly stupid crap for any team....not so pretty. They are a reflection of each parent
that is raising them.


Father to Daughter

In your younger days
I showed in very real ways
that I was always here for you
no matter what you needed.
I'd be right by your bedside
when you weren't feeling well ...
hold your hand in mine
when I helped you cross the street ...
take you with me
everywhere I went
wrap you in hugs
when you were hurting or afraid.

How I wish it were still that easy
to shield you from pain and disappointment,
to lift your spirits,
to kiss away the hurts
and make everything sweet again.

But part of being a father
is finding the strength to let you go ...
to let you grow
from your mistakes and heartaches ...
to let you know
that you can make it on your own.
I've tried to give you
the space you need
to make your own decisions ...
take your own chances ...
and feel your own way in the world.

But I hope you'll always remember
that I love you with all my heart and soul,
and that I'm still right here for you ...
no matter what you need.

My darling daughter
Dad is so proud of you
and always will be .....


JR
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 31
Long 'un
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:58:27 AM
Thank you, JR. That was beautiful.
 genegem
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 32
Miracle Car
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:35:02 AM
The parents of two boys (14 and 16 year-olds) went on a trip for the weekend with friends.
They left early Friday morning and the boys were left alone at home. That evening the
younger boy made the suggestion that they take their dad's car, pick up some girls and go
to the local disco. The 16 year-old boy could drive a bit but was too scared.

After some nagging he gave in and off they went to enjoy the evening. When they got
back to the car after a lot of discothequeing, they noticed a huge dent in the rear of the
car - someone must have bumped into the car and drove off.

Frantically they phoned their friends to find a panelbeater/spraypainter to fix their
dad's car. Finally they found one who said they must have the car at his house early next
morning. The car was fixed properly and they parked it back in the garage that afternoon.

Their parents returned the next day but the boys were too terrified to say anything about
the accident. The father went to get something from the garage, came back very amazed
and said to the family in the lounge,

"A miracle has happened! A guy drove into the back of my car on Thursday
and now it is fixed without a scratch!"

JR
 genegem
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 33
Mothers
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:35:53 AM
Mother's Tears

Tears come so easily
to a mother's eyes
as with love, you see,
for the world she cries,
tears of joy
tears of grief
tears of pain
is there no relief
for suffering and heartache
in this life of give and take,
where in more joyful times
her heart sang gentler rhymes
as new life to earth
she gave birth ...

Today I say a prayer
For mothers everywhere
Without them where would we be?
As for all mankind they care
And so often shed a tear,
Without them we would not be.
 genegem
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 34
Daughters
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:00:01 AM
A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.
--Author Unknown


Seliethia Parker always saw her role as protector for her 7-year-old daughter,
Alexis Goggins. But it was Alexis who ended up saving her mother's life by using
her little body to shield her mom from a fusillade of bullets. Doctors told Parker
that her heroic little daughter, who was shot six times, would never walk or talk
again. But Alexis has surprised people with her gritty toughness. She's not only
walking and talking, she's expected to have a full recovery!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4646774
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