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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Been married for 20 years, feel empty.      Home login  
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 MajorThomas
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 3
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Been married for 20 years, feel empty.Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
very sad, very sad. I do believe there are people who are the right one....

I'd say just go through with it, just realize that even though you think you a hot item, dating is difficult, you'll have to learn a lot of new skills and be prepared for many disappointments. I would try to think things through and be realistic what type of man you think your going to be able to get and what you will settle for.

Its not worth living your whole life in misery if your not happy, lifes too short for that.

 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 11
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:00:00 PM
supertacu...
You are not going to find much sympathy for yourself on here...
Most of us are singles on here wanting to meet that wonderful person that will be our partner for life.
If it is not married men on here whining, it's married women.

We all have had our hurts, bruises, loneliness, sadness, grief, and unbearable pain. What makes you think you are so different with your bag of garbage? At least we went the divorce route because the marriage failed. That is honourable. Being a Christian is a cop-out for you. If you were a true Christian you wouldn't be on here doing this. Can I have the name of your church so that I can send them this little letter of yours???
We had to take the risk of financial hardship, shouldering the responsibilities of kids and life ourselves.
You are extremely manipulative as only a whiny, woe is me, all about me type of woman who uses a man financially to stay in a marriage while looking for someone else to jump onto like a bloodsucking tick.
Grow up!!!!!
P.S. I would love to hear from your husband...his side. You are also a parent in this mess and your kids are screaming for help by their drug abuse. Where are you? Mooning on this site as a victim!!!!
I ought to report you.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 16
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History
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:32:11 PM
Supertacu, Snakewhisper actually really stated things clearly.

I was married nine and a 1/2 yrs blended family, busted a hump to make it all work, my ex did what he wanted, and was never around when I needed anything. I worked so hard taking care of everything and worked a job and a half, that I ended up beyond sick.

My ex let his business fail, that he drug the family 100 miles from what felt like home to pursue his dream business, he got bored, spent most the money in strip clubs, drinking and gambling.

When he said why don't we just live with each other, and do our own thing, I had had enough... I was 36, and didn't see that life was going to get better, and with the business failed, the walls of financial security came crashing down with it....

Your kids, are probably just acting out the unhappiness that is already prevelant in the house... Honestly, it hasn't escaped their attention that there is a better way to escape, and heck why not get stoned, it dulls the senses to what is so insane.

We all have dreams, and expectations on how our family is going to be. However reality is it doesn't always work out that way. I have a 21 yr old that hasn't talked to me in a year and a half... she got bent because I suggested her do some study with me... It's mothers day, and the ache is so deep for me today, I can't stand it... Kids, you can kill yourself to make them happy, and they can still do what ever they feel...

I have to say, one sure fire way to really make a major mess of your life is to seek out male companionship... I waited til I was divorced, and it definitely made a difference.

The question you have to ask yourself, would you want your husband on a dating site looking for female companionship? Would you want your kids to think that is how to handle things when marriage is going south? If your spouse finds out, would the cost of a divorce be any less?

This is not judgment by me, this is something you have to consider for yourself, and something you have to ask if the price for a LITTLE attention worth it?

I don't have the answers to solving an empty marriage, and I can't say that the price of divorce is less than the price of staying miserable... People make choices all the time that don't make sense to others.

For me, it was a HUGE financial price tag, but the sanity I gained back from having the opportunity to find someone that could really fully love me was pricesless... Been divorced for 7 yrs, and can't say I have found him, but I am still 100% more happy than I was being married to someone that didn't think of me as more than a servant in his CASTLE...

It isn't bad advice to get counseling, so you can weigh your options... Perhaps you can breath new life into you marriage, but before you do something that you have to live a life time possibly regreting, consider the alternatives before stepping out side of your marriage.

Good luck
 ther_mal
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 17
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:37:41 PM
HEY ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO THINK YOUR ON THEBALL.. I KNOW WHAT THIS LADY IS GOING THREW. YOU HAVE TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT SHE HAS KIDS. AND AFTER BEING IN A MARRIAGE FOR SO LONG YOU FORGET HOW TO LIVE OUTSIDE OF IT! i was in the same position. you get so used to being in a marraige you look around and say what the hell happened. you seen the best year just dissapear and wonder if you still have it. am i as attractive as i once was. would there could there be somebody who can treat me like i was meant to be treated? questions that com eup. if you have never been in an abusive relationship or a dead one. don't presume to sit back and dish out advice that you have no clue what your talking about simply for the sake of having everyone look at you and notice you. don't forget opinions are like an ass.. everybody has one. some not as great as others and always full of shit!
supertacu don't let them get to you. some of us sypathize with you. some knwo what you are talking about.
 Blue Eyesse
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 18
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:40:03 PM
I did not want my Daughter to have Divorced parents, but today(May 11, ) being Divorced for 21, yrs, she ws 3...It was hard , for both of use...But she figured on her own, he was No good and was glad and proud I divorced him...She did not have brand name clothes, all the time,but she always had food, roof over her head, and her Mother...When she left for college in o4, UofMemphis, she said you always put me first and know it time for you to be first... You might have to have help(food stamps) but for the children you will to what you have to for them to have a safe, happy , home...Yes, we did not do alot of eating out,movie, but she remember , what we did together, not eating out...It hard but ,you can make it without a MAN....
 FlexApr
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 19
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:11:44 AM
Jesus, these women & their advice are lame. Marriages like the one you're in suck because people are not willing to maintain themselves. Get a divorce! Life's short! Pursue your own personal happiness! You made a mistake in getting involved with a dude who drinks. So don't make that mistake again. Join a gym, work on yourself, accentuate your "bombness"! You're bound to attract a physically & mentally healthy specimen that loves you for you, lovey! Good Luck.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 20
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:12:23 AM
OPie, not leaving has basically told your kids that what you have is the way to go. You might yet save the youngest, and I'd say you need to look seriously at that. Money does not a happy person make.

Good luck, sweetie.

 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 23
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:13:28 AM
My previous post still stays the same.
OP......when you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do some consciencious choices that are the good for everyone around you, then I would have more sympathy. Right now, you are wallowing and being extremely hot-headed about any criticism. Which shows your true colours inside the marriage. Maybe your poor husband has been driven to drink by you? He cannot talk to you?

Judgemental??? This woman is married and has made up her mind that what she is doing is right. It is not.
The story is the same. A married woman on here looking for a man. But she will stay in the marriage for money.
Lets hear from men who have had their wife leave them for someone on the internet.

OP...questions.
What do you work outside of the home at?
If your husband was such a loser (drinking etc.) how does he manage to keep you so happy financially that you won't leave him?
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 24
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:28:06 AM
Phoenix...
I was an honourable enough person who went and got marriage counselling for myself and my husband. My ex had alcohol abuse and depression. (Both go hand in hand.) I went to ALANON for family members living with an alcoholic to see what I could do.
I had to make some tough decisions, but they were for myself and my kids. My kids meant everything to me and their mental health meant everything to me.
I left a husband who made over $100, 000 a year and made it on my own.
I did all of this before I went and looked for a possible Mr. Right. It was only fair to my kids, the possible man in my life and myself.
So..I have been there and done it. I can be judgemental about a person like OP who whines that her kids have no respect for her and blames her husband for it.
A counsellor or psychologist will inform her that kids will respect the parent who deserves the respect. Own it, madam!!!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 26
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:26:05 AM

I said i was a Christian, I never said i was a good Christian.


OP, you are grasping at straws. Although I am no longer I Christian, I was raised in the Baptist faith and attended church for years. To say that you are Christian, then have it pointed out that you are on a DATING site, then reply, "I never said I was a good Christian" is pure hypocrisy. Why even bother telling us that you are Christian?


I didn't considered a divorce before, being a christian


So, is adultery less of sin than a divorce?


i hate insincerity or manipulativeness.


You are on a dating site wondering if you should tell men that you are divorced; you are on a dating site without your husband knowing; you are staying in a marriage but looking elsewhere. More hypocrisy.


but at the age of 39 i feel cheated out of half of my life


You have chosen to stay where you are--NO ONE has cheated you. You are where you are because of the choices you made and the choices you continue to make.


having finally established some financial stability, loose it now for something unknown.


I assume that the producer of this financial security is not you, or you would leave. If it is your husband's income, how has he managed to provide this in light of his alcoholism and depression?

As far as staying in your marriage, you are remaining because you are still getting something from it. You might be lonely, but the loneliness is not greater than your fear of leaving. You are asking a question in a forum because you, like so many other people who post about their personal lives, want approbation and validation for what you are doing.

Judgment? I have been where you are--you either leave or wallow in your angst and ennui in silence; strangers cannot answer your questions for you nor can they help make your decisions, and if you keep talking about it, your husband might find out and make a decision for you.

I left; I suggest you grow some ovaries and do the same.
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 28
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:39:21 AM
Bob...
That is what these forums are...to voice our opinions.
But, it also can get hot for some that put their own needs first.
I feel there is more to the story than what she lets on.
Does she have any skills that make her employable? Most women in her situation who are employed do take action. She doesn't seem to want to take action...except to get mad.
I am more concerned for her children in reality. She has a young daughter at a crucial age. Strange men with a bent towards pubescent girls take advantage of lonely married women. Her boys??? On the brink of adulthood spending their time on drugs??
And you are telling me it's ok for her to do this because she is in pain???
About married people on here? There are a great many threads on here about married people seeking partners on here. Most are not nice. There is a reason for that.
Whether she is on here or walking into a bar, a married woman on the prowl is not attractive....except to ...well...(I could get offensive).
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 31
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:14:57 AM
Where is the love, y'all? Pain is pain, no matter what the cause. It IS scary to launch yourself into a new life. After my divorce, when my son was acting out in his teen years w/ alcohol & drugs(most kids try it) and being all rebellious to me, even w/out the "man"figure in the house, I called in every resource to help me keep him safe. Starting w/ teachers, counsellors, principals, Pastors, mentors, and then cops & Marines(Devil Pup Camp). I made it, and am successful at the $$$ and my son is clean, has a good job and we have a great communicative relationship. I did EVERYTHING out of love, even the tough love. That says alot.
The point is, you CAN have financial dependance w/out a man and raise your kids rite. Start squirreling away money, or start a cottage business, while you have some assets, then you can safely feel free to ditch the lame alkie. Draw the boundaries well within the actual line, and the kids will respect that. Don't let drugs into the house. And snoop into all their drawers & computer. Don't even give the illusion of privacy. WE don't get any, why should the kids? And get used to being with yourself, don't let hormones rule, and you'll cherish your time w/out a man up your arse. Keep being a Christian, none of us are shining examples of sainthood, that's why JC took all that sin on Himself, so we could be free to be the human beings God made us to be, imperfect, but workin on it for the HAPPY DAY when we get to realise the perfection we are working towards.Get the kids to church...it reall pays off later. That'll be 5 cents, please...
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 33
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Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:46:00 AM

I didn't considered a divorce before, being a christian and hoping that we'll work things out

I had to laugh at this......so being "christian"..Adultery is ok, but divorce isnt?

One of my favorite quotes by ~Mark Twain~..."If Jesus came back today, There is one thing he wouldnt be..A Christian" (gotta love quotes)



I understand that ppl are very prone to judgement, but hey, life has sense of humor. Just when you think that someone is being silly, the next thing you know - you're doing it yourself, exactly the same thing, right?


I personally will not judge you, first of all..I am not in a position to judge anyone, I dont claim to be all high and mighty to do so...You have to answer for your own actions in the long run.

Second of all we all have reasons for doing what we do and no one can fully understand what another person is going through. What I dont get is how you can classify this as "being silly"? Is it silly because you are a "christian"?



I am looking for genuine person because I'm lonely. My teenage sons act disrespectfully to me thanks to their fathers complete indifference and I feel like I'm on the end of the rope. My sons started to smoke weed. they are 19 and 17.

Your sons are young adults, if they dont like your rules, in your house........Boot them out!!...Dont blame them for your actions, and dont blame their father for their actions...And for Gawds sake...stop making excuses for them! You arent helping them that way!

I think you should talk to your doctor and get him to refer you to a professional to talk to. Sounds like you have esteem issues and you hav to gather strength and courage to make the decissions in your life for you to be truly happy!!

Best Wishes to you
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 36
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:37:45 AM
Of course you feel empty. You've had a miserable unhappy life staying with a miserable man. However, you've also created this life of pain for yourself by rationalizing your situation. For example, I'm a Christian, I fear the unknown (financial, emotional, or whatever), and so on.

Any person would feel spent and empty after having lived your life. So what are you going to do? Throw away the rest of your life? The way to remove the empty feelings are to refill your soul with some good ones. That requires rebuilding your life. Countless women have been in similar situation, and they have gone out and done just that. They have learned new job skills, made new friends, and even found new lovers.

So what are you going to do? Moan and groan here or get yourself in gear?

The Eagle
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 37
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Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:46:55 AM
First of all Quicksilver’s description of life after 35 for women is ridiculous. While many men may be looking for younger women, most I have encountered want a woman in the same age group because they found out that the eye candy was not all it was cracked up to be in real life. Life is quite full after 35 but you have to be ready to have one.

You perceive the marriage as offering some kind of financial security but what you don’t realize is that your husband is dead weight that you have carried now for 20 years. You know that he is the only one that can address the alcoholism so there is nothing you can do to alter his behavior. By staying you are enabling. Going to your pastor or friends is going to do what? Your life will never change if you don't leave.

On your own is scary but at least you know what money is coming in and don’t have to worry about him spending money on booze and other ridiculous addictions when you need it for bills. You have to ask yourself, if you feel this way now, are you ready to do this for another 30-40 years, unless his liver gives out and you become a widow.

I suspect staying would be like choosing a slow and painful death. You will either violate your own value system and try to find some joy in an elicit affair or you will just remain miserable and become more invisible with each passing year. Are you also prepared for your daughter to turn on you and start treating you with the same disrespect your sons exhibit?

Wallflower, a true Christian also does not judge others but even when they see someone they believe is going down a wrong path, they attempt to help to steer that person in a more healthy direction for everyone involved. Yup, the OP is much more likely to listen to someone who essentially tells her she is a piece of shit for being so deeply embroiled in a painful situation that she finds it difficult to make sense of much of anything.

Also I find it hard to believe that you went to Alanon and even suggest that she drove her husband to drinking? Hmmm, $100,000 a year, which translates into about $25,000 a year in child support. There is a big difference leaving someone with a stable job whose wages will be garnished and someone who has from the sounds of it contributed little to an impoverished household over the years. What makes you think she doesn’t work? Seems to me like you are projecting a great deal because you made what you perceive as different choices when she hasn’t even made any yet.

People are jumping all over the OP because she is thinking. As others have noted, this thread was a question designed I suspect to help her organize her thoughts and make good choices in the future, and recognize that she has choices instead of continuing to feel trapped out of fear of so many unknowns. And the Christian angle seemed to me offered merely as an explanation for part of why she has never seriously considered divorce in the past.

Has it occurred to any of the people beating the OP up that the situation with her boys has finally propelled her to do something about her situation and that with some good constructive encouragement she may yet be able to provide a stable loving environment for her daughter as well as a more stable falling ground for her sons? And at 17 and 19 to describe the kids like they are hooked on heroine when they are probably going through a phase is a bit over the top, particularly as they may find that life with mom without dad’s roller coaster leaves them with little they feel the need to escape.

I learned even before my X and I split, that as another poster mentioned, things work themselves out, even if you have to go through the fire for a bit. My business revenues are cyclical and there were times when I drove myself crazy worrying about whether work would come through but it always did. Do what you know you need to do, stand on your own two feet as you always have without the albatross, and remember you are never truly alone.
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 39
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:25:15 AM
I will still stay with what I have said.
OP doesn't need a pack of sympathizers. She needs to hear the straight goods. If anything, that will set her on the right path. She lives in a world of enabling and blaming. To have her look for sympathy and to have her want to justify her behaviour with regards to her choices for herself and those children of hers is downright wrong.
She needed a kick in the butt and I gave it to her. Now her head is hopefully out of her as*s and she can make some constructive choices that are not the easy way out.
I would do this to my best friends if they were going to put their children in danger by jumping from one wagon to another.
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 42
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:13:36 PM
14me24u....
Confused or not.....those kids of hers needed for her to get her head together...and fast!
It's not all about her. She had to see that.
This is a forum and this is a free country. Opinions can be abrupt and opinions can be meant as a wake-up call.
If you want to rescue her, you know where to write.
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 46
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:06:09 PM
lol...
See...I rest my case. My posts were well listened to. Not for my benefit, but for those kid's benefits. Do her and her children a favour and quit fighting her battles. She is an enabler and loves to be enabled. You are harming her. She needs to get it together.
You see....I am a woman who's mother was desperate to find another man to escape to after she felt she was in a no-win situation with my real father.
Yup...she found one. One who liked my sister and I. We were only six and seven. He was having sex with sister by the time she was eight. I fought him off and finally I told my mother what he was doing. She stared at me for a long time....then shrugged and went on with her business. I was only 10. From that day on, I looked after myself. My mother had sold her two baby girls for a man so that she would have financial security and not be lonely.
So...when I see OP's opening post about looking for a man when she's not even out of her marriage....and then subsequent posts about how rotten her "brats" are....I am appalled.
 AceOfSpace
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 47
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:10:04 PM
OP.

This is big, and getting advice from a bunch of random strangers probably won't help much. No matter what move you make there are going to be consequences that you won't like. You need to talk to a family therapist first and then a lawyer to find out what your options really are.

Don't do something stupid like having an affair before you know your own mind and heart. That would only foreclose your options. Talk to the people who can actually help you understand your situation, what you really can do, and what you really want to do.

If you have turned yourself into a slave with no real ability to live on your own, then your best bet might be to make the best of it and stop tormenting yourself with dreams of something else. But, if there's a will within you to have a life that is truly yours, and you want as much of that life as your time left here will allow, then start preparing for it. Give yourself a year to figure out what you're going to do, then do it, and then don't look back. It will be what it will be, and whatever it turns out to be will be yours. You'll have to make the best of that too.

Good luck whatever you do!
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 53
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History
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:08:35 PM

Maybe your poor husband has been driven to drink by you? He cannot talk to you?
How totally disrespectful. Honestly! Suppose someone said to you that the reason your husband cheated on you with your g/f was all your fault because you don't have the skills of a decent lover. PULLLLEEEESE.
Op: In your situation, finding a lover outside of your marriage will only make things more confusing and you will end up being even more hurt than you already are. You're lonely at the moment so I understand why you are here.. but it will only make you lonlier when you find someone who will only be with you during stolen moments together. Go to Alanon (google it for a chapter near you), if you can seek individual councilling... believe me, it will help you.
You can make things better for yourself... but looking for your happiness here isn't going to do it for you.
Msg #54 is excellent, non-judgemental advise... take into consideration.

And I think it's rather telling that she refers to her teenage sons with such obvious contempt and disregard - going so far as to refer to them as 'brats.'
Perhaps is is their demonstration of "bratness" that she refers to. Doesn't necessarily mean that she feels contempt for them in general but rather when they aren't being and acting with disrespect to her.
 Soorare
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 54
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History
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:11:30 PM
This is a tough situation to answer, & here is my humble advice:
The original poster has to realize that Christ brought the message of self-Actualization, not pointless suffering, even if many Christian faiths get this wrong.


The Vedas state” Until one sees the need to act, no need exists”. The OP now sees a need to act. Muster your resources, dear, & move on.

Moving on may be the catalyst that finally changes your husband’s views, drives, & allows him to impose self-control.

By staying, you are certainly wrecking one life -yours. Consider the chances that you MAY BE WRECKING TWO LIVES- his chances to change- & yours. Twenty years of staying has not helped.

You may have to change Churches, draw on resources such as Women in Need, & m most importantly, get you healthy before dating again.
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 55
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:24:38 PM
14me24u....
If anyone is the hypocrite here, it is you. You are very hard on me to the point of being very ignorant.
I have been where OP has been...PLUS more. I have been dirt poor in my life.
Lol...dirt poor meaning my mother and us 3 kids lived in a shack 250 sq.ft big with a dirt floor before she got desperate enough to marry my stepfather.
Hard on my mother? Yes...I was. I had no respect for her. How could I when she treated that man like he was a king while he molested and abused her children? Why do you think I said that sentence back a few posts ago about kids respecting the parent who deserves respect? It's very true.
I am so lucky that my kids who are now 29 and 31 are so fabulous to me. They were a delight to raise throughout their teenage years. Their father and I split when they were 12 and 14. I raised them on love, respect, hard work, dignity, honour and being there when they needed me. I put my love life on hold until I was established and they were safe. That was my legacy to my babies after what my mother did to hers.
Later, years later, my mother and I discussed that situation. I wanted to hear her say she was sorry. Do you know what I heard? Something similar to what OP's opening post was. Now I just have pity for her. Respect? No.
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 56
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:33:12 PM
wishes granted....
People have been driven to drink if they can't handle a situation in which they are trapped into. Your spouse having absolute contempt for you is one reason men will drink. OP sure doesn't go gentle about her family, does she? I'd love to be a fly on the wall there.
You go to an Alanon meeting and see what conditions lead people to drink...or keep drinking. It's a real eye-opener.
Please know what you are talking about before you diss someone who's been there.
As for the writer of Msg #54. Well...he went off and decided he was going to be protective of her. That's enabling. Pure and simple.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 58
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History
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:58:10 PM
Wallflower... I do know of what I speak. And one of alanon's main teachings is it Is Not our Fault that They Drink.. It is Only Our Fault that we Enable Them To Continue .. If you don't/can't leave, then Alanon will teach you how to stay and live a life you can tolerate without enabling.. And my mistake I meant Msg. 64 NOT 54 Msg 64 It is good compasionate advise .

Without airing my "dirty laundry" in a public forum I Can say.. I had nothing but compassionate, supportive friends who did not judge me or blame me... Believe me, that helps. Your post was not compassionate or friendly and It Was Not constructive.

There are many good posts with lots of constructive advise without being cruel.. Op, I suggest you heed them.. and take action to make things better for you and your children. Change is scarey.. we all acknowledge that. You sound like you've hit rock bottom.. time for a LIFE change... not just a change of men... be brave!
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 59
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:15:25 PM
Wishes...
Message #64 by Ace of Space is very good. I applaud him.
I have been down this bumpy road of life a time or two or three, four or five. One of the things that sometimes brought me to my senses was tough talking by some very caring friends and my tough talking to them when they needed it. I have close darling friends that have been there for me and I for them for over 40 years.
If my tough talking to OP got to you and made her and you and whoever else sit up and take notice about how dangerous her frame of mind was drifting to, then I did what I was supposed to.
That is constructive.....not pretty...but constructive.
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