Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or lat      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 honeydip28
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 1
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
i think guys need to come clean about it on there profile. about what types of girls that they are interested in and state the race. because i find it very offensive and a waste of time when they like my friends profile and they find out that she is not white or hispanic
 vladtepes97
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 2
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:25:07 AM
despite what they may put in their profiles, people tend to be most attracted to people of the opposite sex that are racially similar to themselves. same with hair colour: blond likes blonde, dark likes dark, etc. most, not all.
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 3
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:05:03 AM
Some men might not be interested in your friend because of reasons that have nothing to do with race such as age, lack of common interests, body type etc. Some men generally aren't attracted to certain races. Some men might not date a person from a different race because their family is against it.
 Jonathan85
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 4
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:39:11 PM

why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??

i think guys need to come clean about it on there profile. about what types of girls that they are interested in and state the race. because i find it very offensive and a waste of time when they like my friends profile and they find out that she is not white or hispanic
I happen to be attracted to appearance as well as intelligence and pride in accomplishments. That means some level of attention to detail. There isn't a lot to go on in terms of knowing people online. So we have to get our hints where we can. And your grammar tells me that you don't care about how you are perceived, and while on one level it is commendable that you don't care what strangers think, on another it shows you probably don't care what a prospective boyfriend thinks.

And there is a difference between not caring what a prospective boyfriend things and not letting it bring you down if he rejects you.

So in summary, a woman can be as beautiful as imaginable, but if she if she is "classed" as an intellectual ultralight weight, she and I won't get along, so I just keep trucking and don't waste my time.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 5
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:21:45 PM
I did one time and I got ripped to shreds by over 10 women saying I was racist and a jerk. Your post really doesn't mean anything to me because I've realized a long time ago, you are damned if you do, or damned if you dont.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 6
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:30:55 PM
I'm neither white nor Latina, and I've never had any problems meeting guys of any color or nationality, including white guys. If a guy claims to be open minded about race, but turns out he isn't, then so what? It's his loss, not yours. Just move on to the next.



 vladtepes97
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 7
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:41:02 PM

Molesworth is the smartest person in the room right now.

molesworth and amber rain sitting in a tree
f-i-s-h-i-n-g

ok, never mind.,
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:12:27 PM
I think posting a picture on your profile might defuse most of those problems.

I'm open to a relationship with a woman of any race, as long as we're compatible.
I won't tolerate race-based hatred of any sort; that includes those of other races who hate whites (unfortunately, I have to mention that, because of the brain-dead sentiment that "oppressed people can't be racist").
 RidingRich
Joined: 9/21/2007
Msg: 9
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:53:38 AM
op: maybe, the other person just didn't like you for some reason, ever think of that one? believe it or not, there are men out there that will shoot down supermodels because guess what, that woman's personality sucks.. true story, I've even seen it.

besides that, people just like what they like. how about you stop worrying about what people think, find someone that makes you happy, and you them, and like.. not worry about it, or are you into blaming others for your lot in life?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:15:33 PM
A big turn on for me is long, straight, silky hair; some people have it, some don't. If you don't have it, yes, you can get it 'done' that way, but it's eventually going to grow back all curly. And from what I've seen in life, after you get married many women expect to be loved for 'who they really are' and that long silky hair may never be seen again. So, I stick to those that have it naturally.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 11
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:26:19 PM
UniqueManinSoCal ~ I agree 110 % with your post. It should be a fixture on these forums before people could post a question

Thanks

Best of luck to everyone
 Musicen
Joined: 4/21/2008
Msg: 12
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/15/2008 11:21:20 PM
To reject someone for a date because of their race is in my opinion a lowly act. For one dating is not marriage, it just boils down to meeting someone and maybe becoming friends. Dating is not meant to be so serious, but I find many people take it very seriously and so they reject people for all kinds of shallow reasons.

Yes we all have preferences, but because dating is not marriage, why not just date someone and get to know them? It doesn't mean you will marry them, and that's why we don't have to apply our marriage "preferences" to every person we date.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 13
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:53:46 AM
Sometimes what you may think is race...isn't.

A black woman who looks like Vanessa Williams would have no problem getting dates, but Someone who looked like say Star Jones would have her options greatly deminished.
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 14
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:23:43 PM
I had a black ("African-American" hadn't been coined yet) gf for a time, one of the sweetest, kindest, gentlest women I've ever met, we did run across a few obnoxious b@stards (of both races), but I'm just enough of a contrarian it didn't bother me. Unfortunately it bothered her so we parted.
Score one for the bad people.
 anna freedom
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:58:25 PM
personally, think it is cause they like to believe they are not racists...
cause we live in a society where we like to politely hide our racism...a society in which our racial biases have been so deeply embedded in our society that we do not even see them any more. but if you really think about -- in today's multicultural and plural society, there is simply no valid justification for selection practices based on ancestry / racism alone. however, i will concede that cultural practices do have a role for some people...but that is a whole other story for another time.
 single_ladi
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 18
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:19:50 AM
ok ay I understand what you mean that when you say "open" to race and you are not interested in dating a black person that means you are not truly "OPEN".. but on the other hand people are entitled to their preferences and there is no reason to be offended by that.

I date within and outside my race but I have come to the realization that not everyone has to feel the way I do, nor do they have to like me. And it doesnt guarantee that just because I am open to other races that I will like every white, asian, hispanic ...etc..man.

Next time try not to take it so personally... there are plenty of fish ....

just keep
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 19
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:01:02 AM
I love women in all their colors from ghost white to black coffee. It's not what is on the outside, it's how crazy they are on the inside that really matters!
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 20
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:16:26 PM
Just because you find it offensive doesnt mean its offensive. If the profiles had to be placed so no one is offended, then they would be pages long.

I have to see the person. I'm not attracted to most people that are very dark in skin, and I'm not attracted to extremely overweight women. Sorry but I'm not going to put that in my profile.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 21
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:59:54 PM
This seems to be another topic of men are not allowed to have any preferences in women. That a man should accept any woman that is wants him.

This goes along with that a woman should be able to reject any man on any arbitrary standard she wishes because women can have preferences.

It's a tired and old topic. It really has nothing to do with race at all.

A good portion of it comes down to how men and women choose dates, especially in the online world. Women tend to have all sorts of arbitrary conditions and standards (especially in online dating) designed to filter down their choices down from a large number to a small one. Thusly, when men are rejecting a woman, she may think some arbitrary standard like race, height, bra size, or something is in play that doesn't allow her a chance. The feelings are pretty much the same as a guy gets when being filtered out. Thing is, men aren't really in the 'narrowing the field' business, at least not in the same way (online) as they aren't trying to find a few out of a hundred to concentrate on. It's not a summary dismissal for being outside a height range or something... It's just a net decision of 'yes' or 'no'.

The scope of looks within a 'race' or a 'nationality' is huge. There are large degrees of overlap. Physical attraction of a single person will trend towards certain traits but also have radical departures from that trend now and then. There are also physical attractions to women who have only a couple of the traits but have other features that make up for it. Then throw in personality, background, etc and it gets really complicated.

Most men will be deciding if they are interested in each woman the way women judge the handful of 'finalists' that for whatever reason get past the filtering.

Let me put it this way... in the online world women start with 100 and filter down to 6. Men start with 6.
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 22
view profile
History
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 23
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:00:16 AM
There is a difference between not being attracted to a certain race and not dating a certain race due to false stereotypes and generalizations based on limited experiences. Regardless of what you look like, there are always going to be some people who aren't attracted to you. I'm generally not attracted to Asian women although there are some exceptions to that. That doesn't make me racist.
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 24
view profile
History
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:25:07 PM
I never date anyone crazier than myself.

It's not that I'm prejudiced against crazy women, but it really hasn't ever worked out (maybe that's my fault, but there it is).

Other than that, she has to be breathing, conscious, and articulate enough to order breakfast at Denny's.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 25
why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:15:57 AM
I had just seen a "ask a girl" about women only wanting black guys just before I went to bed. In the post it had (at the time) 3 responses all by women. That if a "woman only wants a black guy that's her preference, everyone has preferences." So I answered based on the responses from this post that those women are shallow. Funny about 4 hours later its been deleted. Also funny about the strange double standard that is out there also. I'm a personality person but I also look at looks. Does my standards include race? Nope none at all.

Because if we are or aren't a match it doesn't matter about race it matters wither or not we are a match.

Best of luck to everyone
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 26
why do most white guy, say that they are open to all races, but, if you're not white or latina, then the're not interested??
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:50:34 AM

If you choose not to date INDIVIDUAL Black women who you have met, that is not racist. If you PRE-JUDGE all Black women and indicate that you would not date ANY Black women, yes my friend you are displaying racial prejudice and you are definitely racist.


I know that you was addressing a guy. But this quote should be taken both ways. That it is just as wrong for the woman if you inserted black man instead of woman on both counts. This is a problem of both genders not just the men of the world. But other than that I agree with you 150% on that statement.

I'll say this if I "like someone" or "dislike someone" it has nothing to do with race. I might have other factors that others may or may not agree with. But that's not one of them.

Best of luck to everyone
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 27
why do most white guy, say that they are open to all races, but, if you're not white or latina, then the're not interested??
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:11:04 AM
Dude calm down I'm taking this statement in general not addressing you.

Sorry
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??