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Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 1
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History are irresponsiblePage 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I put a profile up on a few sites, not knowing which was best (must say that RSVP have turned out to be by far the best (no I don't work for them)).

Anyway, I got an email from someone using, but it turns out I can't even reply without subscribing, so they want money from both sides. Worse than that, it appears that if a user chooses to include their email address in the initial contact, it is automatically replaced with the anonymous one provided by Match,com themselves, and again you need a subscription to reply. In her initial contact, she gave her email address, but I suspect it was her real address originally and has been replaced.

To quote their site, regarding initial contact: "Your personal email address will not be shown, it will be replaced with an anonymous WorldTalk email address"

Can anyone confirm this? Any members of here? Be warned! I don't want to subscribe just to contact this one person, especially when they're already contacted me, and I don't think should make extra money from this trickery. She probably doesn't know that her email address has been hidden from me, and expects me to be able to reply without subscribing.

Lastly, is there any official body that we can complain to about online dating sites that act irresponsibly like this?

Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 2 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 6:43:52 AM
Rob, is notorious for sending out "FAKE" contacts, just to get you to subscribe and be able to talk to someone. Yahoo has now went to doing this, making both parties subscribe before they can inter react. But, I did meet several nice ladies from match, that were for real. I did get my money's worth.
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 3 and others
Posted: 1/4/2006 7:08:33 AM
I agree completely....the following singles sites now require both sender and receiver of the email to be paid members:

American singles

The above sites advertise heavily, and it is almost false advertising--especially eHarmony---most of the women they matched me with had no way of responding to my communications since they were not paid members.

The site with the best deal for the women is the sender must be a subscriber.

Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 4 and others
Posted: 1/4/2006 8:41:30 AM

is for the US .not set up for canadians.. that figures..
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 5 and others
Posted: 1/4/2006 9:03:09 AM
Oh, it gets better than that, my friends.

I was banned off of Now, you might ask why. Did I offend someone? Did I stalk someone? Was I rude?

No. During an email conversation across their system, I asked someone, "How long have you been doing the internet dating thing?"

She answered, and said, "Have you tried any other dating sites?"

I said yes, I've tried X and Y dating sites.

Turns out, they have a subclause in their terms of service that says you can't mention their competitors in an email on their system.

I was banned because of a spamming clause for mentioning their competitors in one or two emails to a single person. Even the representative from their Account Abuse Management Team was apologetic, and said that I could reapply with another credit card if I wanted to.

I said no thanks.
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 6
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History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 9:21:12 AM
I put up a profile at both match and american singles in the past but have never been a subscriber to either. I've received emails at match and the same thing happened where match removed the senders email address and inserted their own. The thing that bothers me is that the sender probably doesn't realize this and just thinks I am rude for not even bothering to respond.

American singles is not even worth putting up a free profile. Not only can non-subscribers not reply, one can't even see who it is who sent you mail.

I have to say, I recently discovered POF and it is definately the best value, lol. I've met a couple local interesting men in person and made several online friends in other states.
Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 7 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:18:36 AM
Any time I sign up for a dating site, I use my Yahoo messenger ID. I always make sure that my Yahoo profile has enough identifying information that the person can match my dating profile to my Yahoo profile and realize it's the same person.

This doesn't work on some sites because they append your ID with some extra characters (Am. Singles does this) or they assign you a different ID name or number that appears with your profile. I got around this on American Singles though. I created a new ID on Yahoo that matches my Am. Singles ID.

Unfortunately, there aren't many ways around making initial contact on Yahoo since they don't show IDs on profiles unless you are a paying member. They now show first names, but I'm not sure if you can get by with putting a Messenger ID in that blank. However, if someone sends you an icebreaker, it allows you to choose a quick reply or write a reply. If it's someone I'd like to talk to, I write a reply and include my messenger ID and email. When I include my email, I type "at" instead of @ because sometimes it will truncate your actual email.

Always Happy to share tips on cheating the Singles Sites!
Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 8 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:24:51 AM

American singles is not even worth putting up a free profile. Not only can non-subscribers not reply, one can't even see who it is who sent you mail.

Ahhh... there are ways around that too. In your account settings, you can choose to be notified when you receive a message. In the email they send, it shows you the date and time the message was received. You can usually to to "Who's viewed my profile" and match the times pretty close to figure out who emailed you. Again, there are exceptions. Some people choose not to allow you to see that they have viewed you.

Another way around paying for a premium membership is their chat feature. Premium members can contact free members via Instant Messenger in the free member is logged into the site at the time. I met a few people that way, but I was always quick to exchange Yahoo ID's because their IM sucks!

Providing more sneaky tips
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 9 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:39:25 AM
I don't see how is being irresponsible -- it's their business, they state the terms of the deal, if you don't like it, stay away. Personally, I like the sites that charge both parties. I think it shows that the other person is serious about being there and not just trolling for attention.
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 10 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:59:54 AM

I thought that would not allow replies but had no idea that they replaced the email. Makes sense. I was including me email in the mail but never once got a reply to my regular email address and now know why. Knowledge is power.
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 11 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:08:05 AM
How is being 'irresponsible'? It's just their rules - effectively getting you to pay to use the site. Other sites have similar rules.
What I don't like though is the way so many sites try to get you halfway through the signing up process, before they tell you what the charges are. The full terms should be laid out upfront before you even start the registration or profile writing process.
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 12
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History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:21:46 AM
to the posters asking how is Match "irresponsible":

To me, Match is irresponsible in that many subscribers are UNAWARE that non-subscribers are unable to reply to their emails as Match strips away the email address and inserts their own. What I mean is, the subscriber emails using Match's system and includes another email address so that if a non-subscriber is interested, there is an alternate way to reach the member. But, Match removes this (even though they state emails are private) so that replying can only be done through their system. The irresponsibility lies in the fact that this practice is not widely publicized on their site.

I even tried putting in my profile that I was not a subscriber and to use their IM system to contact me (back when Match had an IM program) and Match deleted this information from my profile.
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 13 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:24:06 AM is a scam.. I have a profile on there that is inactive.. in other words I put a search block on it so that if someone does a search they cannot view me..i'm invisible..

have been so for about 2 years.. I got an email stating that my profile has been viewed 924 times.. now how this is possible when I took the profile down I had only had 49 hits on it.. so how the heck has it been viewed 924 times.. now according to I can see who has viewed me.. so I thinking that my profile is active logged in to see.. turns out I have to pay in order to see whose viewed me..and my profile views where still listed at 49 and I was still invisible to the population..

go figure..
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 14
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History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:26:31 AM
travelor, you can try sending your email through Match in this format:

travelor at yahoo dot com (or whatever it is)

If you want to "test" if this works, feel free to find me on Match (I think I'm ohsweetlaura on Match and I think as a non-subscriber I can still read emails) and I'll let you know.
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 15 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:49:50 AM
@sweetlaura - I see what you mean, and I agree with that. I also think they should indicate which ads belong to subscribers.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 1:58:03 PM
In my opinion, The reason why Men get so few responces is that most of the women on Match are nonpaying members. They are just fishing for attention (free of charge) and are not sincere. They can recieve messages but cannot respond to your message even if they wanted to. It is Match's way of inticing them into joining. It is also my opinion that there are far greater Male paying Match members than Female paying members. Hence the term " So many men so little time".

Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 17 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 6:22:43 PM
yeah makes me feel lucky I get any responses and women wonder why men send so few words. I would cut and paste a joke and get one reply per 10 emails. I noticed only 2 views which means I was actually getting a good response rate. I generally let the women pick and email me. works better
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 18 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:40:01 AM
I spent some time on Oh for a surfeit of admirers! Though I did meet a man who turned up to the date with a set of joke teeth... What I found though was that the men on there were generally more rigid in their preferences and less likely to look at a female even just a couple of years (shock horror) older. Not that I'm looking for a toy boy or anything
Joined: 1/4/2005
Msg: 19 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/5/2006 5:31:48 AM
So many personal sites, yes so many of them will say join for free, its business , and with a profile that is interesting you may bring in a few more customers.
I find Hotornot to be interesting and yes persons do respond back. Pof has become an interesting place to visit for the forums only.
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 20 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/5/2006 7:24:08 AM

In my opinion, The reason why Men get so few responces is that most of the women on Match are nonpaying members. They are just fishing for attention (free of charge) and are not sincere. They can recieve messages but cannot respond to your message even if they wanted to. It is Match's way of inticing them into joining.

Are you suggesting there are women on this site who only want attention, their pride and ego trying to attract some of your light?
Everyone here thus helping to contribute in the filling of that hole of need, directing a little energy their way, toward them, the fallen insincere women of desires and need?
Like the Black Hole from which nothing escapes?

I don't believe it.

Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 21 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/5/2006 9:31:59 AM
I had a high response rate at hotornot, and a high rate of initiated contacts, but no actual dates.

(other than the one date with the girl who was under house arrest...)
Joined: 11/20/2003
Msg: 22
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History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/5/2006 10:08:35 AM
I complained to match a long time ago....saying they should at least have an icon showing if a listed member is actually a paying member and could reply with out paying the 25-30 bucks. As I had written plenty with almost no response. And yes, experienced the fake canned responses that must have been generated by the match system......yick.....preying on innocent romantics.

Anyway, recently I received a "letter is in your mail" , but NOW one needs to even subscribe to read a letter to them......NO WAY...!! Plus they do not even allow viewing of more than the first picture, same with yahoo. POF is cool as can be.....just no contacts or dates at all, and blaming it on the distance factor. I do enjoy the forums, and this is my first post. kindly....
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 23 and others
Posted: 1/5/2006 11:44:28 AM
Here is another one to add to the list. it was the first site I joined. I was stupid for 4 months. In that paid four months I recieved 3-4 email in my in-site mailbox per day. Then it dropped to about 2-3 a month. They tell you they read your profile.They might have opened it, but did not read it. I noticed a lot of the women use the same template and change a few words. I have recieved messages that were word for word the same. The only difference was who sent it. There was also far too many women sending their links to their webpage, og go here it is free. Sure it is free until you want more. I can't bileive there are some women costs you $5.99 per minute. For that kind of money I want to feel skin. I live in San Diego and can go down to Mexico and for $59.90, say $60 (10 mins to observe or whatever) I can get a woman for the week-end or two for a night. In that 4 months of stupidy I never recieved a straight answer. I thought at first it was my age, 64, at that time, Then I realized they were not reading my profile. I think they pasted their message and address into their mass mailers once in a while, sent them off and went about what they were doing. These women have to be being paid. Enough said. I am sure there are men out there who have been there done that. Don't get me wrong. You will never hear me say it is not legit, but I will say as far as I am concered...IT SUCKS!!!! Bob
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 24
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History and others
Posted: 1/6/2006 5:29:36 AM
Wow, more replies than I expected! After my original post I realised my mistake, I thought this forum was for testimonials about dating sites, so I'm not even sure my post is appropriate. No one complained though, and look at all the replies!

Didn't there used to be a forum here for discussing other dating sites? Can't find it now.

Apparently both Match and Yahoo now have law suits against them!:

Hehe. Not for the thing that I was complaining about though.

I don't mind sites making both sides pay, as long as it's obvious that's what they're doing. I would never join such a site because even if you find someone you like, you have no guarantee that they will be able to reply to you. Ideally only profiles for paid members should be visible on such sites.

I presume it's easy to get around the problem with if you are the sender. Just write your address as "me AT blah DOT com". That would work wouldn't it? (Maybe an existing member can answer this).

Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 25
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History and others
Posted: 1/6/2006 5:55:29 AM
So, big favour time, are there any subscribers to here who'd be interested in helping me out?

Someone contacted me via, but their email address was substituted with the one requiring subscription for reply. They would almost certainly be unaware that this had occurred. Could someone contact her for me, and send her my email address? Send me a private message via my profile if you're willing to help.

I just can't stomach giving any money! (Already have paid on, which is a great site).

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