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 Author Thread: ~~ When to Tell Someone You Love Them ~~
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
~~ When to Tell Someone You Love Them ~~
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:28:03 PM
The phrase has been **stardized. It's lost its power over time... Women usually say it when they mean it. ...No matter how often they mean it...
Men say it to satisfy a woman's need to hear it... effectively destroying their integrity and disqualifying themselves as a challenge in their significant other's eyes.
I say hold back on the I love yous. Make it special again!
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
The girl I like is 26, never had a BF and never kissed before
Posted: 7/21/2009 4:03:17 PM

The girl I like is 26, never had a BF and never kissed before


For me, personally, thats a red flag. I'm sure many suitable gentlemen have approached her and attempted to court her before... You're telling me she never gave ANY of them a chance? You may discover that she may be a very structured girl or maybe she will have super high unrealistic expectations.


I plan to tell her my true feelings for her next time I see her 1 on 1


Dont get mushy. Telling her anything like that WILL fall through if handled incorrectly. She'll tell you that you're a nice guy and she wants to be friends if you mess up. You always want to have some level of mystery about yourself. What I would do is try disappearing. See if she wonders where you went or if she misses you. If shes interested in you she will pursue, and it won't damage the relationship. If not she will forget about you the moment she turns her head. If the latter is the case, just move on.
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What ALL Men Want...
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:57:58 PM
Men want a woman who is FLEXIBLE, who is a GIVER (as in her time ect.), has INTEGRITY, and who has a great SENSE OF HUMOR. Treat her right when you get her and everything else will fall into place. Im not gonna dodge a woman because she has low self esteem... If she has those qualities I'll date her and build her up.
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Looking For Venues Other Than POF
Posted: 6/18/2009 9:04:55 PM
Dont pay any mind to Farceur. Obviously a man hater.
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Looking For Venues Other Than POF
Posted: 6/18/2009 9:01:13 PM
I understand completely. POF isn't easy. A large percentage of women are on it for ego stroking rather than dating, unfortunately. Also expect this thread to be gone by the weekend. Just like how people would disappear for badmouthing the nazis, this forum will be gone in the same fashion. Mods dont play lol. Keep face to face as your main thing. Go to askmen.com and seek out Doc Love's Q&A and David Diangelo
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where do I go wrong?
Posted: 6/18/2009 2:16:11 PM
Keep it up. Its a numbers game unfortunately
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 6/18/2009 2:10:33 PM
My brother and I, the last of the gentlemen, have both been stood up by seemingly enthusiastic girls on this site. We got the dates but there was no warm reception!
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 93 (view)
 
So why are u single we all have are storys!?!?!
Posted: 6/18/2009 2:03:12 PM
I have been dating and making friends... I haven't made any serious moves.
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Low Email Reply Rate! Help!
Posted: 6/15/2009 10:51:11 PM
Wow, for men POF is a challenge like none other! Its a very humbling experience checking that inbox lol. 3 things:
1) What should I mention that I failed to?
2) What can my profile do without?
3) What are my most AND least attractive pictures?

Thanx guys!
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
women's thoughts on a mans non-exclusive dating
Posted: 6/9/2009 8:08:17 PM

So is it ok to date 7 women at the same time and sleep with all of them? As long as I don't commit to any one of them, it's cool, right?


No. Dummy.
 return of badguy
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
women's thoughts on a mans non-exclusive dating
Posted: 6/9/2009 12:34:54 AM
There's nothing wrong with non-exclusive dating my friend. You're still an ok guy.. you're not a scallywag for that lol. I agree with the previous post that says not to rush into sex or anything. This is a tangent but I give this advice to all my students and Protégés lol: Date up to 8 women at once. Short dates... you don't want to over expose yourself to any of them, instead you want to spoon feed yourself to them. When you spend too much time with a woman you get too comfy around them and you say stupid things that you would only otherwise say around your buddies. I have a plethora of other wise dating tidbits but thats all for now :) good luck
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How to make a Lady Comfortable
Posted: 5/27/2009 7:31:28 PM
Be easygoing and funny. Tease her about little things for example how she pronounces a certain sylable but not in a mean way. Be light and funny always. This always works because then she wants to defend herself AKA open up a bit. Don't initiate physical contact. Thats an attack on her comfort zone. yet, when you tease her welcome a slap on the arm or a touch.
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
why do a$$ holes always get the good girls?
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:26:10 PM

The battle of the sexes continues

Are you familiar with the term "Feminista" or "Feminazi". Not every forum questioning the nature of women is an attack on women. 90% of men dont know what women want or if its even possible to give "it" to them. Tis, I believe, is why the divorce rate has been at 50% for the past 30 years between the United States and Canada The purpose of these forums are to answer questions.

this is sad because i have really seriously thought about trying to be a little bit of an ass not be so nice to girls because it seems like it gets me no where and they always like the guys that will treat them like s**t . dont make sense to me .. does it to n e one else ?

Women like the challenge that badboys provide.
1. They arent clingy
2.They behave in a way that has the woman striving for their acceptance

www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_400/434_relationship_expert.html
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Whats the best way to approach a woman anywhere.
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:16:35 AM

Women aren't always in the "boy meets girl" mindset, where as men almost always are. However if a girl sees a guy she likes, she's not going to be hard to distract by that guy. The guys who have to angle and try to get their time in are generally men who don't have that kind of attention. You can be sane and decent but not necessarily interesting or attractive enough to stop the ipod for...in fact if she wants to enjoy it - I'd say let her do that and find someone else.


That is kind of an extreme situation now that I think of it... If she wants to listen to music more than talk to you I agree. Let her. You were dead in the water to begin with if thats the case. Its unrealistic to think you can pick up ANY female you find attractive. However there are times where you can pique her curiosity or create some interest where there was little. Thats the point I was trying to make. Most cases I'd say wait if she glances at you twice... but if she looks like a nice girl, get those shells ready


Why don't you shoot your target and talk to her once you knock her over? LOL...again, stupid comparison. I take it you must be a psych major since you pointed out that I am not...how long have you had your degree?


If you did that you would have even less time to talk to them Lol
Nope, I was pointing out through sarcasm that you dont need to be one to follow what I'm saying. But that's generally speaking Lol


If it's next it's next. If she's interested enough, you won't have to fear when her stop is, she'll make sure you can find her. I'm not sure why men think women don't take some initiative when they're interested. I think if a girl likes you before you approach, you can make anywhere interesting...to her. There's no strategy to it, you either approach a woman who was hoping you would, or you approach a woman who saw you coming and didn't get out of the way fast enough.

BTW, is the subway the only place you see women? You do talk to women elsewhere right?


I can agree with that statement. If a woman likes you she will help you. I used the subway as an example because millions of people use it and you see some of the most beautiful, interesting, and quirky people down there, but most people are too shy or afraid to say something to them. Its hard on the subway. If you can do it there you can do it anywhere.
If it were a classroom situation, its much easier. Time is on your side so you dont have to be so urgent. I'd say to set yourself up by answering the teacher's questions intelligently but with a pinch of wit or humor to show that you're a smart, funny guy. Then wait for her after class and say "Hi, I'm so-and-so... we have psychology class together. Would you like to grab some lunch with me?" If she can't because she has another class or she has to leave after class, ask for her phone number. If she doesn't want to give it to you, move on. If she gives you any Womanese, about how she cant make it because she has a busy schedule or whatever, throw away her number and move on. You never had her. She would find the time in her busy schedule for a lunch date if Brad Pitt asked her for one, right? Lol
But anyways now I'm going off on a tangent. That's knowing when to move on and getting the hint that a girl doesn't like you.


If I did, I guess I would have had to do something else in the first 5 years...not that my job skills have anything to do with being social when not working - but again, what works for each is what works for each.


Not necessarily. Some people just want a paycheck. That's another discussion for another time.

 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Whats the best way to approach a woman anywhere.
Posted: 5/23/2009 7:40:14 PM
[Quote]First of all, deer don't talk - and if they did, they'd be signing death certificates telling hunters where to look - so I doubt they would contribute. However I agree that being shot and killed and picked up by some men are about the same pain wise, so I won't say that's real different.

So what people mean when they say this is that women don't actually want to end up on dates. If you believe that, then what's the point of discussion?

1. Its called a metaphor. Any conversationalist can recognize one, relate it to reality, and not take it literally... we know deer can't talk, sweetie.

2. Most women in the NYC subways dont want to be approached by men because there are a lot of jerks and perverts out there and they encounter them daily. From the pretty faced teens to the men in business suits, a pretty woman in new york will be hit on probably between 30 to 50 times a day... or more, who knows? Here, you have about 15 seconds (if that much) to catch her attention, say something interesting and different, and show her that you're a sane, decent person before she presses play on her iPod and closes her eyes.

You're a DJ and not a psych major so in simpler words; If words are ammo and women are deer, You dont have much time before your deer escapes. You need shotgun shells to stop em in their tracks and that train talk... that's equivalent to using BBs. Weak.
The metaphor stops there, luv.

I fancy myself a good conversationalist and I can make a common area a topic if it makes interesting conversation. The train is not one of those places. You do that when you have time. For all you know her stop is next.

Oh and if "Hello" is a line, sure I use it. After that it's improvisation. Maybe your years in mass communication help, maybe they dont. I don't know how good you are. I've never heard of you. For all I know, you could suck at your job, right?
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Whats the best way to approach a woman anywhere.
Posted: 5/23/2009 2:22:22 PM

The train is the common ground, you're both traveling somewhere. If you are both standing somewhere the place and what goes on there is the common ground. It's almost impossible to not find something you have in common if you are both in the same place.

I'm sorry.. a deer cant tell a hunter how to catch deer. What you're basically saying is to talk about the train that we're on. "The ads on this car sure are funny, huh?" "So what made you choose this train? Gets you to your destination fastest? Me too!" "Sure is quiet in here"
Lol Lame.
I've proven it time and time again: Say hi, Introduce yourself, then improvise. Yesterday the girl was holding a caricature drawing of herself so I asked to see it, teased her by insinuating that it doesn't look like her, then asked where she goes to school, what she does for a living, how long she's been living in NYC. We joked back and forth then I proceeded to ask her out for a coffee date. I took down the number and went on my way. Sometimes you start with little to nothing. When life give me lemons I make 4 course meals.
...served with wine. Keep fishing fellas
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Why?
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:22:09 PM
Oh yeah.. my point! My point is this: Do everything right and she wont hang out with other men lol. Keep fishing
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Why?
Posted: 5/22/2009 10:50:25 PM
This is such a common occurance that can be avoided. Lets call her love her Interest Level. A woman who is interested to meet you.. we'll call that a 50% or higher interest level. Any lower (0% to 49%) and you're out of the game, but she will play with your emotions, waste your time, and give you false hopes. 90% and higher means she dreams about you at night and thinks about you at work. A woman with a 90% or higher interest level will alienate herself from her friends for you if thats what you wanted. So logic and acceptance of reality tells us that you either married a woman who was not head over heels in love with you or you lowered her interest level after you got married. I bet you were able to feel her growing more and more distant and less enthusiastic.
You sound like a nice guy. A lot of women say they want a nice guy but the truth is that none really do. What a woman wants and what she says she wants are two different things. The nice guy (aka The "Wimpus-Americanus") is incapable of being a challenge by his own means. A man who bends backwards to please a woman may get through the door but he wont be able to keep her for long. Women respond to challenge and that man falls short of that. Her interest level will slowly drop and she will grin and bear it until she finds someone new, then she will give you the famous Womanese*
*I need some space
*we need time apart
*Its not you, Its me
*I'm in a rough time in my life
or my favorite:
*-Woman of interest- is not available right now. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep!
Translation: I don't like you anymore. Buh-bye:Bye:

What you want is to be a challenge while remaining a gentleman. If you can do that her interest in you will actually rise above where it was when you first started dating. "How does one do that?" Its difficult and it takes practice but it can be done.
*Learn to say "No". Dont put up with all* her nonsense. Women test men, you know.
*Don't be too available. Give her space
*Don't be clingy or pushy. Take your time
*STAY OFF THAT PHONE. Unless you're planning a date. Keep it short
*Don't ask "Do you like me?"
*If you dont know what to do, DO NOTHING. Don't call to talk about it! Disappear! She will wonder where you went, and if she's truly interested she will call you.
*Keep some level of mystery to yourself. Stop wearing your hearts on your sleeves and spilling your guts guys.
*Keep all subjects light and be funny. No heavy topics. Be cool. Try to be a modern Cary Grant
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Whats the best way to approach a woman anywhere.
Posted: 5/22/2009 10:05:05 PM

Salespeople do that, too business like...an over the shoulder casual comment regarding common ground is better...intro yourself after the conversation starts to flow with a BTW. That's when she's probably more interested in talking and might actually care what your name is (or care to tell you hers).

When people walk straight at me, extend a hand and/or do an intro, I immediately wonder what they want from me. It's too in your face. Just talk...

Point taken but sometimes there is no common ground. There's just you and the person of interest. I have a daily goal to meet at least one female a day on the subway and get the phone number, like my favorite dating doctor told me to lol. Anyways, on the train usually you have nothing in common. In such cases I will walk up, say "Hi, can I sit here? I'm Mahlon.. Whats your name?", Then let the conversation run it's course. Has never failed me yet. (I've failed to get numbers before, of course, but never failed to get a decent conversation started.) So in a nutshell, from my experience, I respectfully beg to differ.
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Whats the best way to approach a woman anywhere.
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:12:01 AM
How about "Hi, I'm -insert your name here-"
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
When do I say I have had cancer or do I?
Posted: 5/22/2009 12:22:18 AM
Avoid heavy subjects when you just meet someone. Cancer is heavy
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 94 (view)
 
LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/22/2009 12:20:36 AM
Avoid those who lack integrity. It will cause problems down the line
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What is your expectations of the perfect man/women for you???
Posted: 5/22/2009 12:17:26 AM
She must have integrity, she must be giving, have a sense of humor, and be enthusiastic, and she must not come with TOO much emotional baggage.
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Need some advice
Posted: 5/21/2009 2:29:18 AM
Why is this up for discussion? Ask her out you wimp! Rejection is part of life! Embrace it! I don't ask if they have boyfriends. What difference does it make? I could care less. There is no "In a relationship" on tax forms. If they aren't married then they are either single, divorced, or widowed, understand? In the future assume all girls are single. If she has a BF say "Oh yeah? How long have you had that problem?" or "Aren't you tired of dominating this guy?" ...make her laugh.
Ask her to have lunch with you. If she has class ask for her number. If she rejects you, you learned something. It wasn't all for nothing. Keep fishing bro
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Do women really dig scars?
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:37:45 PM
I have more scars than Frankenstein but YES... girls more dig the character I've built and the story behind each though.
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 62 (view)
 
How do you tell a someon you don't find them attractive?
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:02:38 PM
"Thanks but I'm not interested. Good luck" You shouldn't try to attack their appearance if its something that cant be helped
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should I call her?
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:59:33 PM
Call her and plan a date. If she doesnt want to go on a date, delete it
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Never said we were Dating exclusively
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:56:45 PM
You should have kept your pants on
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
girl date a guy with less educaiton and status, and money
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:52:13 PM
None of that stuff matters to a woman who has a high interest in her suitor. Doesn't matter where you're from
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Online dating doesn't work
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:45:40 PM
Online dating most certainly does work! You have to be able to weed out the ones who are here just to stroke their egos and the ones who are disinterested.
"Would you like to hang out sometime?"
"Um.. lets communicate online for a while" or "Its hard for me because I babysit then work nights"
"Nice to meet you! Have a good day!"
Thats how you weed them out.
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Is it okay to ask someone why you are not a match for them
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:37:52 PM
Sure! The important thing about dating is to learn from each woman you encounter so that when you meet THE ONE you dont make mistakes.
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How do you get more people to view your profile?
Posted: 5/20/2009 6:36:20 PM
"Your profile is only as good as your worst picture" Is a phrase I've heard. Its cut throat on this site man. Get a professional photograph done by a photography student. You need to get them through the door
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How long before kissing her...
Posted: 5/18/2009 5:32:09 PM
You shouldn't have touched her. Thats too aggressive. You should have let her initiate physical contact. Also her telling you sheYou've known her for weeks so you're past the coffee date stage. Ask her for her phone number and tell her that you'd like to get together for dinner and dancing or somthing like that. If she says anything but "Ok". Move on. She's not interested. If yes, call her in 5 days to make the plans, but call her a week in advance to be sure her schedule is open. Take her out, have fun, be a gentleman, keep the mood light and funny.. NO HEAVY SUBJECTS. Kiss her on her lips when you take her home but don't make out with her unless, again, she initiates that. If she breaks the date, throw away her number. That's a cardinal sin.

PS. From her saying that she had other things to do when you invited her to go for walks tells me that you're already dead in the water, she's not interested, and that you should move on. But you can use this in the future or if you think there is any hope. You seriously need to check out Doc Love on A s k m e n . c o m
Its not a sleezy pick up artist thing but great advice on dating. It hasn't failed me yet :)
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
A little help here please.
Posted: 5/10/2009 11:45:37 PM
Invite her for starbucks. Ask for her home number and wait 5-7 days to call. (Women dont like this but its a sure way to build her interest level since she's a stranger) call and tell her when and where. Make sure its set for at least 5 days ahead so her schedule is clear, but not on a fri. or sat. Take your time and dont rush things. Dont set the date for the next day. Above all be a gentleman.
 th3artfuldodger
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why?
Posted: 5/10/2009 11:30:40 PM
Women are more romantically mature than men by an average of ten years. That doesn't automatically mean go after girls a decade younger, but you do want a younger girl fellas. Each woman is different so it will vary per person. Sometimes ten years is good, sometimes five, et cetera. You can't always be on the same page. Most times she'll be ahead, but at least be in the same chapter. Thats why I date younger women. Im 24, I typically aim for 18 to 23
 
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