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 Author Thread: unsolicited advice.... my sister-in-law is driving me insane
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
unsolicited advice.... my sister-in-law is driving me insane
Posted: 4/4/2010 7:35:52 PM
Why she does it... because some people just thing they know better and are more stubborn then the toddlers theyre talking about.

Honestly I would say something along the lines of "If you would like to raise another toddler feel free to have one yourself". We are first time Mums, of course we arnt going to be perfect or know everything. Tell her straight up to back off and that if you want her advice you will ask her.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Canada child support law for non-bio parents: different points of view
Posted: 4/4/2010 11:16:43 AM
For myself, if I was with someone long enough that my daughter considered them "Dad" I would expect that person to stay involved in her life at least a little or I must have REALLY mis-judged that person. Especially if his side of the family was also involved in her life. In one swoop she loses Dad, Gramma, Grampa, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, thats not fair to anyone involved.

Monetarily I wouldnt expect them to pay support but if my daughter was going for a visit I wouldnt be sending money for while she was there. And if gifts were given for holidays while we were together I would expect that to continue once were apart, just because her holidays shouldnt change (This is only if they stay in contact obviously)

These are kids, not pawns in a sick game. As much as I know there are people out there who would do this, I just couldnt.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 3:01:50 PM
Im trying to figure out where shes getting all these abortions done that they arnt shoving birth control down her throat.

There are no excuses for not taking birth control these days. Clinics will give it to you free if you cant afford it, you can get 5 year/no pill IUDs, I mean really...

When it comes time that she does want a child karma is going to take over. Tell your "friend" that if she cant keep her legs closed or make an effort to use birth control then you cant make the effort to go with her.

6... Jesus. Im pro-choice and I cant wrap my head around that....
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Renting a Room
Posted: 3/28/2010 8:31:56 PM
Just in regards to something you mentioned... the real-estate market is actually in a rapid upswing right now. In less then a month ive seen 8 homes in one area sell OVER asking price. I saw one sell just below asking in less then 24hours.

If youre seriously considering selling now actually is the time.

(No im not a real estate agent...lol... just went through the process)
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Canadian Property Laws - Home Ownership/Rental
Posted: 3/28/2010 6:33:47 PM
In a situation where you may be losing your home... Id think you wouldnt want to wait for them to get back to you. Id call them first thing tomorrow morning.... but thats just me
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Canadian Property Laws - Home Ownership/Rental
Posted: 3/28/2010 6:13:24 AM
First of all I would have the old property manager document everything up until now because if you dont and cant locate him when you need to then its your word against whom ever takes over.

Second call the landlord tenant board. They will direct you as to what to do.

I can tell you that unless the bank forecloses and you start from scratch and buy the place, you will not own the house. Youre making rental payments not mortgage payments.

I know when the house I was renting an apartment in was sold (without my knowledge I might add) I was told that unless the new people planned on using it themselves to live in, I was free to finish out my lease.

Really though, how long as the guy been gone? It takes a long time before they actually cut off your utilities and no one has shown up? I smell something fishy... An personally, I would never deposit money into a random bank account, who knows who has access to it.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Full time Dads when to tell
Posted: 3/27/2010 6:20:11 PM
In your profile 100%...
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Renting a Room
Posted: 3/23/2010 7:32:23 PM
Door locks on private areas (bedrooms usually)
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
At what age should a child start using a sippy cup?
Posted: 3/23/2010 2:39:59 PM
By about 9m Monkey was using the soft spout kind... by about 14m there were no bottles period and strictly sippy cups. Now at 18m she has mastered a straw too.

Now if only getting her to learn to use a spoon was so easy...lol
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Legal rights re: engagement rings
Posted: 3/23/2010 6:44:20 AM
It was a gift... Gifts belong to the gift receiver. He could take he to small claims I suppose over it but thats a hell of a lot of work since she is up here. Just like she can probably kiss her stuff goodbye
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Missing school to go on vacation
Posted: 3/22/2010 5:47:05 PM
Sounds like your son spends a lot of time with docs and hospitals... one day to do something special isnt going to hurt him. He could probably use some fun. Just like being at school that one day isnt going to suddenly make him a genius... Let the kids go and enjoy themselves... Happy kids learn better
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Single dad v.s. daughter w gender identity issues
Posted: 3/22/2010 5:33:15 PM
Synnie... appropriate therapy is never a bad thing. Especially with a therapist who specializes in issues she may be having. Being there for her is fantastic, but if you've never been there youre not going to have all the answers she may need. That is where a therapist specializing in LGBT teens comes in.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Single dad v.s. daughter w gender identity issues
Posted: 3/22/2010 3:25:23 PM
Conscious... at 12-14 years old every kid goes through some kind of sexual orientation/body image confusion. Under no circumstances would I at that point consider giving them drugs to fix them. They arnt old enough to know who they are yet. Therapy, peer groups, encouraging research sure... drugs no. Plus puberty is starting SO much earlier then 12-14 now a days
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Single dad v.s. daughter w gender identity issues
Posted: 3/22/2010 10:18:35 AM
Get her an appointment with a doctor specializing in gender re-assignment. They will point her in the direction she needs for specialized therapy.

Basically what youre saying is she is currently a cross-dressing bi-sexual. It happens and people live perfectly normal lives.

I dont think that at 17-18 you should be doing something as drastic as removing the breasts, I dont even know that you will find a doctor that will do it for non-medical reasons, but I do think she should be free to investigate both sides of the coin. Im thinking this may be a bigger problem for you then it is for her.

Specialized therapy will help her more then general therapy. Should she decide to follow through, they can guide her through her transformation. Look for LGBT groups and organizations in your area, they will have information for you and she will be able to find other people who think like her.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Cops stop me then just leave?
Posted: 3/19/2010 6:53:09 AM
So they stopped and asked you a question, other then what sounds like 10 seconds of your time what did you lose? If it had been someone else and they didnt stop them and they had a severed head in their bag you would be ****ing they didnt do their job.

Plus Im fairly sure they cant search your bag without probable cause
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What kind of woman has or chooses to keep a child knowing that they won't have a father?
Posted: 3/18/2010 5:57:01 AM
Because accident, not an accident were taking responsibility for our actions.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Easter Bunny
Posted: 3/15/2010 7:41:43 AM
A kite is a great idea! I think outdoor toys and books are great gifts and super stimulating.

Or maybe a movie or zoo pass. I love getting passes and tickets to things still!
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Parenting and being a
Posted: 3/10/2010 7:26:02 AM
If ive taught my child right and wrong and they choose to ignore my teachings and are at an age where they are perfectly aware of the consequences then Im not going to enable them. If that means im a "rat" then so be it. Some times tough love is the best love.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What did you have for your babies?
Posted: 3/10/2010 7:22:48 AM
Monkey throws plates so I didnt bother...

If you want something to keep he cant really be using it. The plastic will wear and the picture will be gone from washing.

Best bet I would think is take him to the store and let him pick one... hold them up and let him grab one. Then use it for cake on his first birthday and put it away. The rest of the time use the cheap/who cares stuff.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
can u help
Posted: 3/9/2010 1:25:38 PM
At 9, yes she should have to go.

Does she have friends at her dads? Is her dad more strict then you? Does her dad eat differently? Make her do activities she doesnt like? Maybe she is just saying she doesnt like the girlfriend to get out of going and having to live by her dads rules.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
can u help
Posted: 3/9/2010 1:04:35 PM
How old is your daughter? Have you asked her why she doesnt like the GF? Are you sure its the GF and not just an excuse?
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Backpacking Trip to Europe
Posted: 3/9/2010 5:59:02 AM
The exchange rate is high!! For every euro it will cost you about a dollar fifty Canadian... So while 25-35 Euros sounds cheap its still almost 50 dollars.

Eating out is pricey too, youre best to find the local grocery stores and buy local fare.

Have you thought about doing a tour for some of it and then going to the places youre really interested in afterwards? Thats what we did... We did a tour of England, France, Switzerland, Belgium, The Netherlands and Germany then took off to Scotland and Ireland on our own.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Can not report spam
Posted: 3/2/2010 4:43:02 PM
lol... what a blond moment I had! Though I thought there was a report user at the bottom of the emails too... Thanks!
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Can not report spam [CLOSED Thread]
Posted: 3/2/2010 3:10:21 PM
I got an email that was basically a green card scam attempt... Checked FAQ for reporting it, blocked the user but then there was nowhere to report the user and they have disappeared from my inbox so I dont even have the name or email to pass along to the site.

In the future how would I report this?
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Can you be in love with someone who doesn't like your kid(s)
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:15:26 PM
Not a chance... simple as that
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
How to maintain energy with 8 month old?
Posted: 3/1/2010 5:16:04 AM
Not to sounds like a **** lansmom, but parenting didnt seem to come naturally to your parents, so why is it required to come naturally to everyone else? And honestly if parenting came naturally to everyone we wouldnt have parenting classes and Child services.

I somehow doubt that you asked ZERO questions. Im constantly asking questions still! No one knows everything about everything. Do you think maybe if your mother had asked a few qquestions here or there she might have maybe been a better parent?
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How to maintain energy with 8 month old?
Posted: 2/28/2010 4:39:02 PM
There is no secret magic trick... you just do it. If youre super tired one day, skip the dishes or something and sleep when she does that day. Im curious as to why youre still feeding her that often during the night, thats almost as often as a newborn. By a month and a half my daughter was going to bed after a feed at midnight and sleeping until 6. Maybe you should think about spacing out those feeds a little.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Should I stand up and fight cause I don't agree with meds for kids?Lazy parents is all!
Posted: 2/26/2010 5:39:22 AM
If you have your son 50% of the time and dont even know the name of the drug he is supposed to be taking I think the laziness problem may lie some where other then your ex.

If you have your son half the time youre more then capable of taking him to a doctor for a second opinion. Randomly taking away your sons meds can make things worse since a lot of drugs you need to be weened off of to avoid withdrawl.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Widowed mother of 2 starting over
Posted: 2/25/2010 8:39:36 PM
Until youre happy with yourself, dont "get back in the game". If you dont have confidence in yourself you wont get a guy worth your time.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
public places and no changing tables!!
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:53:43 PM
Couple of points based on a quick scan, then my thoughts.

1. OP has said repeatedly it was on the CHAIR not the table.
2. Technically it is illegal to have a child in a car that is running if the child is not properly strapped into their car seat, at least in Ontario.


Now me:

Ive changed my daughter in the car when its been warmer, but not in the winter. Ive changed my daughter on bathroom floors once in a blue moon, but my thought is if I look at the floor and my first thought is "My pants are going to get filthy kneeling here" Im not changing my child there blanket or not.

If your daughter is still in an infant car seat I dont understand why you didnt just change her in the bathroom in that. Im sure public changings happen more often then people realize because when theyre done thy are discreet. I personally dont see anything wrong with what you did, though I do think there may have been other unexplored options.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
In public, Should you out some one you have seen on POF?.
Posted: 2/19/2010 8:16:17 PM
If I had spoken to them enough to know their real name, not just their screen name I might say "Hey ___". If they looked shocked, or scared, or pissed its all fixed with a simple "Oh Im sorry I thought you were someone I knew".

I would never say anything about POF, its not my business what they tell other people.

I used to get recognized a lot, people hollering my screen name at me in the grocery store pissed me off. Not because it was from here, but because the people dont know me from a bowl of fruit. I dont like people assuming they do because of a picture.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How do you cope after you almost lose your child?
Posted: 2/18/2010 6:23:31 AM

"We have no idea what caused his anaphylaxia. " If the epi-pen is the same anaphylaxia kit injections I us to use they work like a charm. You still need to get him to the right doctor who can tell you why, so you can avoid that. Get a kit for your home, car, his school so you all ways have one with you. With the kits and when you know why, big problems can be avoided. Might not ever need a kit, but they need to be ready every time and they have to get changed out as requeied too. That is how you cope. Getting ready so if it happens again you can hit him with the epi-pen fast.


And train your daughter to use it, as well as anyone else who might be alone with your son (depending on his age obviously but, friends, family, babysitters etc...). Your daughter might feel better if she doesnt feel helpless if it happens again.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How do you cope after you almost lose your child?
Posted: 2/18/2010 6:03:20 AM
Whoa! Thank god he's ok...

Have you thought about getting a high quality baby monitor? Possibly with two receivers, so you and your daughter can check in on his breathing without bugging the hell out of him?

Maybe get him some kind of panic button that sets off a noise incase he does feel something coming on and cant call out to you.

Of course those are mostly things to make you more comfortable but it might give you some peace of mind without smothering him.

This is all still fresh so it will get better. Im fairly sure youve said you are all in therapy from your husbands death, keep that up too.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Need advice: getting divorced with self-employed mother of my children
Posted: 2/18/2010 5:52:11 AM
Im with Phantom on this one... Though a thousand dollars over the norm seems excessive. Perhaps its time to do it the official way.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dating with Kids
Posted: 2/18/2010 5:43:12 AM
Please please do a thread search.

If that option was added they would have to start adding every preference that people had.
Does not want to date: white/black/asian/latinos, short/tall, fat/thin etc...

On top of that, its redundant. Its listed in the profile, if someone doesnt read the first 3 lines in your profile they arnt that interested to begin with.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Self Care for Single Parents
Posted: 2/17/2010 6:06:17 AM
I get online just to interact with other adults, makes me feel more connected to the "outside world" lol...

I also made my room my haven. No babies allowed (at least not without an invite and not very often). So when I go to bed my stress melts.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why does it seem that women don't want to date a man that's a single parent?
Posted: 2/17/2010 5:48:38 AM
Everything that Mopegunz and Package Deal said...

Plus... telling us all the things you arnt isnt exactly endearing. If you do that IRL im not surprised you have problems. "Hi, Im So and So, I think youre really pretty. But I dont conform to societies opinions on beauty" "Id like to have dinner with you, but I wont cook it"
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Vacation vs. School...
Posted: 2/16/2010 6:35:44 PM
My thought is under grade six is easier to catch up then after grade 6. I dont know that I would try it after grade 6. That being said, If you can schedule it over PD days or holiday weekends and youre only gone a week really what harm will it do? If your kid got the flu they could be off longer then that. Talk to the teacher and see if there are any times during the year that are especially important for your child to be there and schedule around that.

12+ years of schooling are not going to be undone by 1 week they will remember forever.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Tell us something you enjoy about your life that is not Government Regulated
Posted: 2/16/2010 4:41:16 PM
Taking pictures and my daughter
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
how old before a child can ride on motorcycle on street
Posted: 2/15/2010 1:41:25 PM
Personally, my child would never be on a bike if I had my way. The number of biker funerals Ive been to just reminds me that other people have no respect for bikers and bikes can be unpredictable. My parents were avid riders and had a bike for me but we sold it before I ever rode it.

Hell I was concerned about my daughter in the back of a convertible in her car seat though. I may be a little paranoid when it comes to this type of thing but id rather be paranoid then have something happen.

Dirt bikes, atvs etc dont bother me as much. Its really that I dont trust other people on the road to respect a bike.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Ontario is in Canada still right?
Posted: 2/13/2010 1:24:08 PM
Ok, Ill re-phrase AGAIN...

During the floor show the Maritimes, the Prairies and BC were all given a specific segment. Ontario and Qubec were not.... neither were NWT, Yukon or Nunavut for that matter. I am not referring to individual performances by individual people... Strictly speaking of the point from where the man in white cracked the ice to the slam poet .
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Ontario is in Canada still right?
Posted: 2/13/2010 8:32:44 AM
I got roped into the ceremonies by EVERYONE I know watching them... got tired of not having a clue wtf was going on....

As for the ON/QC representation, Im speaking strictly about the artistic presentation, not the presenters, flag bearers, singers etc...
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Ontario is in Canada still right?
Posted: 2/12/2010 10:02:20 PM
So, anyone else notice that in their giant production of an opening ceremony that they missed representing Ontario AND Quebec?

Gothic punk tap dancing hip hop fiddlers of the maritimes? Check
Flying children of the Praries? Check
Stoned snowboarders and skiers soaring through the brightly coloured sky in BC? Check

Yes, this is coming from the woman who had no interest in the Olympics and I realize the irony.

Also... Ashley McIssac still is the sh!t and the beat poet Shane Koyczan made me even more proud to be Canadian.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
teachers communication
Posted: 2/12/2010 6:04:31 AM
Once you make sure that it really is the teacher and not an exaggeration based on his dislike of the teacher (If youre not there all day you really dont know whats going on). Make sure its not that your child is causing some of the issues before you come down on the teacher.

All that said and done, go above her head. Principal, Superintendent. Hell google her name, you never know what you might find in terms of other parents blogging their frustrations. I think having your son switch classes at this point in the game might be more detrimental. A different class will be at a different point, different kids, different expectations. By the time he gets switched, gets settled and caught up the year will be over. At least if he advances with the rest of the same class, if this teacher has been detrimental to their development he will be with the kids that are in the same boat.

Dont do anything in front of your child. Even if your child is in the right, he still needs to learn to respect people who may not be "so nice" in his eyes. That being said... dont shut up either. PTA, other parents, the principal etc...
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Dad's wedding; son doesn't wanna go.
Posted: 2/11/2010 5:58:45 PM

Okay, so tell me, genius.
How would you MAKE this adolescent go to the wedding, exactly? Say he sits on the floor and refuses to move; at this point what do you do exactly - carry his 170 pounds around? withdraw his food? Tell me, how do you MAKE an adolescent DO anything?


Thats what I was wondering...
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
who needs a partner without kids?
Posted: 2/11/2010 1:59:15 PM

Actually, they are quite a bit like baggage.
You (hopefully) take them with you when you go on vacation.
You fill them with all things you cherish most.
You do your best to secure them and protect them.
I even check mine in and out of school at the schools curb/drop-off like at the airport!
Some of them even have little wheels on the bottom of their shoes and
you can pull them around when they lean back on their heels...
Mine did until she grew out of them!!!
I love my baggage!


OMG I LOVE THIS!
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Failing Grades, again.
Posted: 2/10/2010 8:27:54 PM
You know his father doesnt like to be a disciplinarian etc... and yet encouraged him to go stay there for stability? And now youre wondering why his grades are failing?

What is your custody agreement? Bring the kid to your house and be strict. Your son is going to hate it and **** and moan but you can either do your part of the job and come down on him or let him get crappy grades.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
The Cough
Posted: 2/10/2010 8:12:39 PM
Sadly, still sick. Ended up calling the doc this morning and taking her in. Turns out its all snot related. Chest is completely clear and of course she didnt cough at the docs office. Luckily as soon as she looked at her throat she saw "post nasal drip like train tracks down her throat" lol.... (I love her doc). So humidifier, vaporizer, BABY vicks etc... is about all I can do.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
who needs a partner without kids?
Posted: 2/10/2010 6:20:24 PM
I personally have no desire to try and mesh two parenting styles. Parents dating parents means basically families dating families. The integration of lives is much more difficult.

Im not saying if I met Mr.Right and other people called him Daddy that I would turn and run, its just not something I seek out.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
The Cough
Posted: 2/10/2010 5:12:04 PM
I am more then aware that regular vicks contains menthol. AGAIN no one else has stated the ages of their children when they used regular vicks and I have stated I use baby vicks. So its not that we dont read your posts its that you seem to have a comprehension issue with ours.

No one has said they didnt look up their "tips" or that they didnt ask their doctors before using them. Youre attempt at "making people think" is based on you either not thinking or thinking you know exactly what we do and do not do.
 
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