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 Author Thread: Why is there no link to the forums???
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why is there no link to the forums???
Posted: 4/27/2015 4:06:37 PM
I've been using POF for a few months now, and only found out the forums still existed (I think I used them years ago) when I saw a link to an event (as it randomly started sending me event invites today, never had one before, got two today!) which brought me to the forums.

For some reason though there isn't a link on the POF page to the forums. The forum page includes FORUMS on the banner, but the POF page doesn't for some reason.

So the majority of people will never know they're here!
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Mostly, my sent messages do NOT get sent
Posted: 4/27/2015 3:58:00 PM
I have this happen a number of times, I e-mailed support about it a couple of times, and they just send you a generic reply saying maybe the person has filters, or has blocked you. I knew this wasn't the case because one person I'd been messaging and all of a sudden one wouldn't send. So I sent a test message and that went fine. It seemed to happen all of a sudden a few weeks ago, so maybe they implemented some new filtering system.

I've found that it's almost always a certain word that it's decided to take exception to, such as "dead" or some "rude" word. It's seems to be rather hit and miss because it wouldn't let me send a mesasge with the word "cocktails" in one time, even though it was in the message I'd received, but with half of it asterisked out!!

Nowadays I always go straight to sent items after I send a message to see if it's showing there. If not, I press back, and start looking for words it might dislike!!
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Number of interests
Posted: 4/27/2015 3:13:19 PM
Is a number of interests on a guy's profile a good thing, or a bad thing?

I have quite a lot on my profile, as a lot of things are interesting, and I figure the more things listed there, the greater chance someone will have one or more in common with me, and wish to discuss them.

However a female friend on mine who looked at my profile suggested I cut them down to just 3 or 4 main ones, as having lots was "narrowing it down". I didn't really understand this, as surely the more there are, the more chance one will click with someone? Or would girls assume if I have 20 interests I'm only looking for someone who shares all of them?

Is less really more, or should I stick with the greater chance of finding something in common?

Thanks.
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Picture compliments
Posted: 5/25/2007 1:36:38 PM
Just something that occured to me - what do girls think about receiving compliments on their pics? Good/bad? Not in the first message?

I generally avoid making reference to girl's pictures, as I wouldn't want her to think I'm just getting touch becuase she's attractive, as I'd only message someone who seemed to have things in common, or I liked their profile.

But then I worry that maybe girls who look nice in their pics maybe think I'm ignoring their pics or something. Maybe that's just me worrying too much! lol

So what do girls think? Would you look badly upon a guy who talks about your pics in a first contact message?

Thanks for any responces.

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Not allowed to contact people
Posted: 8/5/2006 9:07:45 AM
Grrr, just checked them all and found there's 2 out of 71 who've got theirs set to Intimate Encounter, even though their profiles don't have anything about sex and such in them.

Is there anything that can be done about that, or am I prevented from ever messaging anyone who ticks that box, just cause two people had theirs randomly set to that?

Thanks.
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Not allowed to contact people
Posted: 8/5/2006 7:06:44 AM
Well it was someone local to me, and I don't smoke, and fell within all the requirements that it listed on their profile, that's why I thought it might be the intimate thing.
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Not allowed to contact people [Locked - Redundant]
Posted: 8/5/2006 6:43:55 AM
I've started getting a message telling me I'm not allowed to contact certain users. I've been in their age-range, and not looking for the things it says I've not to be looking for.

The only other thing is "Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex", which might be the thing that's causing the problem.

To my knowledge I've not messaged anyone looking for that, but it's possible one of the people I once sent a message to several months ago *happened* to have intimate encounter specified. In fact now that I think about it, I did message someone asking if they meant to put that, as their profile seemed to indicate different, and they said they'd change it.

Does this mean I'm now tarred forever as a "person who contacts people looking for sex", and thus won't be able to message any women to specify that?

If so, doesn't that kind of block huge swathes of the women from lots of people who might not have had any intention of contacting people for sex?

How can I get rid of this stigma? Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2006 1:18:48 PM
gutted!! I can't believe I have a spelling mistake on my profile!! lol

Thanks for the comments, I'll see what I can do.

The unusual bit was to hopefully show that I'm different to the type of laddish drunken guys who treat women badly, just want a shag etc, maybe I'll have to reinforce that.

I didn't want to sound like I was up myself saying how great I am, which is why it's pretty restrained, maybe I have to big myself up a bit to keep up with all the bull-shitters who pretend they're things they're not.

I don't really have many good photos of myself, I'll see if I can come up with something better though.

Thanks for the help.

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2006 12:35:35 PM
Hi,

I wonder if someone could have a look at my profile, and also tell me if I'm doing something wrong when I contact women on the site?

I recently checked out some newer profiles after having not been on for a while, and decided to message a few which I had things in common with and thought I fitted what they were looking for.

I messaged 15 people, of vary ages between one 19, 9 in their 20's and 5 early-mid 30's, from varying locations between 5-30 miles from me, so a range.

I took time to read thier profiles and wrote them messages about them (not sending out a standard thing or anything), about what I liked in their profile, and what qualities I possessed that they were looking for.

My messages weren't just a quick hi, they were of a decent length, 3-5 short paragraphs simlar to above, were free from spelling mistakes (which might put people off), and in no way mentioned anything sexual, or implied that's what I was looking for.

I was polite, and did not assume I'd be getting a date with them, simple asking to start off with a chat, and see if we got on.

So far, 11 have been read, 1 of which has been deleted, one user doesn't seem to show up now, and 4 are still unread. None of the people who have read the messages bothered to reply.

So I'd like some feedback on my profile, in case it's scaring people away, or should I be doing something else in my messages? Or maybe I shouldn't be attaching my pics? Is that putting them off? lol

Thanks for any advice people offer.

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Knife Amnesty
Posted: 6/25/2006 4:12:10 PM
The knife amnesty won't do any good whatsoever. The only *possible* good it could do is if some parents took their sons knives and handed them in without them knowing, and even then 99% of them would just buy another.

The problem is the sort of people who carry knives around, and threaten or actually use them on people aren't going to give up their knives just cause of some silly amnesty are they? Why would they?

It was the same when there was a gun amnesty, no criminals who used the guns gave any in, most of them were old or display firearms, that people who would never dream of shooting someone gave in.

The *only* way to get knives off the street is by making people afraid of being caught with one, and imposing severe penalties on anyone caught with one. If anyone found with a knife automatically got 3 years in prison, how many people would carry them? Then make brandishing a knife, or mugging someone a knife or using it on someone an automatic charge of attempted murder, and send them to prison for 10+ years. Would anyone risk it?

It's not the availablility of knives that's the problem, it's the lack of deterent for having/using one that leads to them being so widely used.

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 6/25/2006 3:54:12 PM
I think it all depends on how the relationship ended, and if you still fancy them.

I was having no problem staying friends with my ex, as I didn't really find her that attractive once we'd split up, and I realised that it could be something beneficial.

That was until she stole some of my furniture when she took her stuff with her, and I didn't know where she'd moved to.

I can see how it might be a problem for a lot of guys (who's brains live in their pants), if their ex was more attractive than their current g/f, but that wouldn't come into it for me.

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 52 (view)
 
ladies, secret desires???
Posted: 12/21/2005 5:48:00 AM

The girl that plays Hayley in home and Away.... don't know her name but she is lovely


She's called Rebecca Cartwright, and if I'm allowed to comment in this thread (not being a woman), she is gorgeous. Although Chloe has come back to over-shadow her now!

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
The Christmas Gremlins..
Posted: 12/21/2005 4:12:03 AM
I've never had christmas gremlins, but I think that's cause they live with me the rest of the year and just go on christmas holidays to you guys!!!

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
don't know if I should stop talking to him because all he wants is sex
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:14:39 AM
It sounds to me also that he's using you for sex, so the question really is not what to do about it, but "are you willing to accept that"?

I'd start first of all by asking him why he only comes round when he wants sex, cause it could be a coincidence, he might be seeing you every time he has a chance, and you're so hot he can't resist or whatever. If you want to see him more often, you need to phone him and suggest it. Maybe he'll be working or whatever, or doing other stuff, but if he refuses to see you when it's not for sex, you'll know that's all he's after.

Once you know that, you just have to decide if it's acceptable to you. If it's not, you need to get rid of him. What you mustn't do is keep accepting it on the grounds that "maybe he'll come around to a relationship". Why would he bother if sex is all he wants?

The main thing is I'm sure there's guys out there who would treat you better than this, so why settle for a user?

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Being pleased or pleasing ????
Posted: 12/20/2005 11:04:56 AM
Is everyone a pleaser or is everyone just claiming it! lol Surely someone here must be selfish in bed, that's what most women complain about!!

Then again, the type of guys who sleep with loads of women and don't bother to please them probably don't spend time on dating sites as they'll be out picking up their next conquest at the clubs.

Back on topic, I'm a pleaser too, stayed at a woman's house 3 times a few weeks ago, she came 5 times, I came once, and it didn't bother me in the slightest.

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Orgasms,,,,all one intensity level for guys?
Posted: 12/20/2005 5:21:42 AM
Mine aren't all the same level, although they're mostly pretty explosive.

My ex used to call it "shaken Amy syndrome" if I had my arm under her when she made me come with a handjob. She also said she thought my head was going to explode every time! lol

The last girl I had one said "that wasn't an orgasm, that was a fit!" lol

The also cause me to do different things, sometime I'll sit bolt-upright in bed, or arch my back, or my legs will go straight, or thrash, I guess it depends on the type.

Usually, the length of time I've been waiting makes it better.

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 53 (view)
 
69ers ... Still as good as ever?
Posted: 12/20/2005 5:13:37 AM
Yep, probably mu favourite thing to do. As for women not being able to concentrate on coming, wouldn't that be a shame, it could take you ages of being really turned on!

Ed
 UnusualEd
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Oral - what do women like and how?
Posted: 12/20/2005 4:24:59 AM
I've found that the single finger inside whilst you're going dow does seem to get results. Garofalo does seem to have a good setup going there, (and two women after him already!), wish there were more in northern England who wanted a similar good time! lol

Build-up is important, as Garofalo has pointed out, heading straight for the clit with you tongue won't be as effective as building them up so they're desperate for you to do it.

You don't even have to start with your mouth, I like to stroke really gently over the knickers, or skin if they've come off, hardly touching at all, but disturbing the hairs and teasing. Once they start getting the idea, don't increase the touch, but tell them what you're going to do to them, maybe tell them you'll go down on them in 5 mins or something like that, and tease them slowly in the mean time. Give them updates when there's 3 mins to go, guaranteed it'll feel a lot longer than 5 mins when they're waiting for it!!

Once you do start, licking around the lips first, and the full length of it is a good start, avoiding the clit as long as possible will build the expecation even more. Licking just to one side of it, then the other, but just missing it can drive them mental! :-)

Not that I'm cruel or anything. I should probably save anything else for a thread on teasing. :)

Ed
 
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