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 Author Thread: Men losing interest?
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Men losing interest?
Posted: 10/19/2018 6:13:22 AM
Hmm... seems very closed-minded to think sex is the only real pleasure in life. I actually feel kind of sorry for people who believe that.

It's not like I smoke ALL THE TIME... sometimes I'll go 2 or 3 weeks without and then just have one. Then another couple of weeks without.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Men losing interest?
Posted: 10/16/2018 6:03:08 PM
It seems to me like all the decent men in my age range just aren't interested (jerks and bad boys however are ALWAYS interested). How common is this? Is there some secret agreement among middle aged men to take themselves off the market? Because it sure feels that way sometimes.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
holy shit its Jack White! :)
Posted: 4/13/2017 6:33:39 PM

Unless it is different for men or just me but POF is onto that one. The meet me's I get now do not have the user name.


Indeed. If you watch the url bar, every profile has a number. All you have to do is cut and paste it, it works even better than the now-discontinued username search. Close one door, another opens up...
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
parents and not happy with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2017 6:28:43 PM
Not all of us can be that lucky. My parents passed away years ago.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Testing my IQ...
Posted: 4/13/2017 6:23:04 PM
Ugh... IQ tests sound like the kind of things that would attract socially inept geeks. It's kind of snobbish to boot.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 4/11/2017 7:16:57 AM
Norwegianguy, you obviously know NOTHING about asexuality.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 380 (view)
 
The illusion of online dating
Posted: 4/8/2017 12:18:55 PM
I just read a blog post by some woman in NYC who browsed one of the big online dating sites and saw a fake profile complete with a pic that someone stole right off of her blog!!!

Call me a monster, but I laughed for five solid minutes when I read that. It's exactly the reason why I don't even read my messages since I started going to meetups 2 years ago.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 49 (view)
 
He Sucks His Thumb!!!!
Posted: 4/7/2017 2:48:13 PM
I used to suck my thumb when I was little, and my teeth are nice. I used to do it because it calms and soothes. I never understood what's so weird or erotic about it, but if I *did* still suck my thumb as a grown woman, I'd make sure I could trust anyone I dated before I'd tell him about it.

Because after all is said and done, it's all about comfort.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Spotting a fake profile???
Posted: 4/2/2017 5:48:18 PM
Another dead giveaway is when they say they're Catholic, yet they list their status as divorced.

Nothing against Catholics, but the ghostwriters seem to use that one a lot.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 4/2/2017 8:50:30 AM
It depends on the group and how well the organizer runs it.

I quit one group for authors a couple of years ago because of the organizer's histrionics, and I actually had my s. together better than he did at that point. Any shmuck can write a book and publish it. No idea if that group even exists anymore.

But I went to an asexuality meetup (not for dating though) and the 2 people who run it DID have their s. together, and the group is still growing 5 years later. The only reason I stopped going is because I'm just not cut out to be an activist (plus the fact that there were 5 women to every man in the group).
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 3/31/2017 7:26:18 AM
Ha ha, I can tell you in 2 words why internet dating is so hard: MEETUP GROUPS.

You can figure this one out for yourself. ;)
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Putting some Legalese in the footers of profiles
Posted: 3/31/2017 7:24:13 AM
TBH I don't really care what someone does with my pics. Since last summer I only go to meetups, I only check my inbox on PoF every couple of months.

I mean, what's someone going to do, steal my pics and pretend to be me, then say she's going to meet some guy at a restaurant and then he finds out that she looks nothing like me? Then I quit worrying. :)
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Asperger's: a big red flag?
Posted: 3/19/2017 9:31:19 AM
Another thing which always gives me trouble is the whole "fun" thing... this to me is like a live hand grenade. Partying, drinking, traveling to some exotic place just to see what it looks like... those things are not fun to me, my idea of fun is making things or better yet, having a bf who can teach me how to do stuff like welding and woodturning. To me that would be more fun than learning from some YT videos.

As far as the asexuality thing... I can't help it, it's just the way I'm wired, just like gay men didn't choose to be gay. On that front, I've found 2 local meetup groups for asexuals in my area... both of them are more about asexual activism than dating and there are 4x or 5x more women than men at the meetups, but hey it's a start.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Asperger's: a big red flag?
Posted: 3/9/2017 3:13:46 PM
Man oh man, that Sheldon Cooper character is REALLY annoying. My Aspergers is much milder than what he's got.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Asperger's: a big red flag?
Posted: 3/9/2017 7:22:59 AM
Some of my big questions were cleared up when I finally got myself checked out last February by a psych and I was diagnosed with Asperger's, though she said mine is very mild.

I don't feel like it's the end of the world... OTOH a lot of my frustrations went out the window and I see where I was going wrong. I'm still asexual (that isn't going to change), but a lot of the other things on the list are true for me. I pick clothes that are comfortable to me, I enjoy doing artistic things like building models and drawing, I have synesthesia, my hair is not messy but I don't obsess over it, I dislike being in crowded places because my senses can get overwhelmed, it really, really intimidates me when people stare at me, and I totally don't understand flirting.

So... it's my understanding that Asperger's or any kind of autism spectrum disorder is a huge red flag in dating? Because if you can't understand flirt signals, or you don't know when you're sending them out yourself, you know right away something is wrong with that person and you won't date them. Right?

It looks like my best bet (as far a finding love goes) is to find some local singles groups that have aspie members... I stopped doing the online thing a year ago because I got nothing but messages from men who want quickie sex.

Anyhow, to those of you who are men who are reading this... the most important thing to a female aspie is COMFORT. Flirting probably will not work with her, she will not understand it, and you need to be careful about doing things that will bring her out of her comfort zone. She might not like being touched early in the relationship, and if she does feel a spark for you, she might just say so outright instead of dropping hints. That's just the way we aspies are. But we can feel love very intensely and we don't like being taken advantage of or getting our hearts broken any more than you do.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Do you collect anything unusual?
Posted: 10/18/2016 6:59:38 AM
I guess I'm unusual among females because I don't collect anything ceramic. My mom, aunt, granny etc all do, but I never understood the appeal of it... *sigh*
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Do you collect anything unusual?
Posted: 10/13/2016 3:14:38 PM
For me it's left handed scissors... I get my use out of all 14 pairs of them. ;-) A couple of them are rare and discontinued.

I also collect model cars, but not much is unusual about that... not many people build them any more though.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Can dating sites be better?
Posted: 10/12/2016 7:50:38 PM
There's still the problem of people going on these dating sites and posting fake profiles. When I look at them, I have no idea if it's just a bogus profile with a couple of pics someone took of their friend who's in on the joke.

That's why I think meetups will always be a thorn in the side of online dating (at least until InterActive Corp buys Meetup.com and bribes men to show up in drag at singles events).
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 28 (view)
 
not everyone's peachy-keen
Posted: 9/30/2016 9:37:07 PM
Never did much like jewelry. Never had my ears pierced, especially can't stand to wear anything on my hands.

Pink... hmm. I'll wear it if nothing else is available, but royal blue will always be my fave!!! I hate fire engine red, it looks too hooker-ish.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Ever Heard of a smoking fetish?
Posted: 9/30/2016 9:20:36 PM
Yes, I've heard of the smoking fetish, but it doesn't make any sense to me. If some guy thinks I look more ladylike with a ciggie in my hand, then to each his own, but I just have one or two every couple of weeks if I really want to relax. Longest I've gone without one is 5 weeks.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Can dating sites be better?
Posted: 9/30/2016 3:09:44 PM
A real-life troll is... well you probably know the type. They just want to sneak into the online dating system so they can push our buttons and then laugh about it.

Kind of hard to do in person, unless you're into getting your face re-arranged.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Can dating sites be better?
Posted: 9/24/2016 5:20:10 PM
I think that one thing the sites can REALLY do to improve, is to require us to show up at a local office in person before they can let our profiles go active. Yeah, that would suck if you live way out in some remote hillbilly town... but really the only people I think would object to it are those who are trolls in real life.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 174 (view)
 
download the new girlfriend 7.0, get another one free
Posted: 9/21/2016 7:05:51 AM
Have you ever watched "Guys and Dolls"? It's about guys who had problems with women and ended up buying life-like sex dolls, so I guess that passes for a love interest. The guy with the southern accent was kind of ratty looking TBH but the black guy and the guy in Texas (Mike) were not bad looking at all...

Anyhow, the part of the movie that really hit me was when Mike threw a party where he had his dolls dressed up at the table for a party (he owns 8 life size dolls) and he invited his then-gf over. She played along with it but then after the party, they show her sitting at a picnic table with a depressed look on her face. She broke up with Mike after the party. I can understand why she looked depressed. Who wants to get dumped for a doll???

This x10 when they start coming out with life-like robots.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 167 (view)
 
OK, I'm starting to feel afraid
Posted: 9/19/2016 9:59:36 PM

Designing a robot that has some sort of intelligence and be more human-like would be a major challenge, but who knows what will happen in the future as technology advances. I wonder if people would be able to, some day, order a designer robot, that has specific characteristics-or doesn't have certain ones. I'll leave that to your imagination.


That's what I'm afraid of. It will give guys the luxury of being picky.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 158 (view)
 
FEAR the Walking Whiny!
Posted: 9/18/2016 1:52:54 PM
Fear and laughter aside, I think the idea of guys dumping us for bots would make some h3lla good fiction.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Guy keeps messaging then blocking me
Posted: 9/15/2016 6:11:53 AM
Something like that has been happening to me too. I keep blocking this one guy and I guess someone else reports him and gets him banned but he always figures out a way to get back into the system in a couple days. It doesn't creep me out but it sure is annoying.

If he's out there reading this... no, buddy, I'm not going to date you!!!
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 59 (view)
 
OK, I'm starting to feel afraid
Posted: 9/13/2016 7:03:42 AM

But seriously gals (back to topic)-- are you really worried that robotic women are going to take away all the “good” men? Really??


Let me think: YES!!!
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 39 (view)
 
OK, I'm starting to feel afraid
Posted: 9/9/2016 4:29:11 PM
Oh, I think technology will get there quick. Remember, back in 2000 none of us knew what a smartphone was. Now it's tough to understand how we got by without them.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 37 (view)
 
OK, I'm starting to feel afraid
Posted: 9/9/2016 3:16:52 PM
*ahem* In my infinite wisdom, I forgot to mention that I traded the Lexus in for a new orange electric Fiat back in July... so the whole thing about driving with a dummy in the car so I can use the HOV lane is a non-issue.

What I'm afraid of is... ok, picture this. You're a (reasonably) good-looking female, age 20 to 60... you go out alone to your favorite fancy restaurant (I'm thinking my favorite seafood restaurant in the marina)... you're dining alone (but you wish you had someone to share the meal with), and this good-looking guy wearing a suit enters... and the gorgeous redhead arm in arm with him, is a state of the art ROBOT. One that can walk, talk, see, hear, eat, drink, and have a serious case of the hots for him.

I don't know about you... but I'd feel more "cooked" than the breaded shrimp on the plate in front of me. :(
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
OK, I'm starting to feel afraid
Posted: 8/30/2016 6:11:09 PM
Some guy in Hong Kong has built himself a lifelike robot that looks so much like actress Scarlett Johansson, it's eerie. Then I did some more googling and found out they've built a female robot in China named Jia Jia, and get this, she can actually sass back at you! And then there was the blonde robot built a couple of years ago by American artist Jordan Wolfson.

Ok, fun's fun... I mean, we can crack all the jokes we want about pimply nerds playing with computers in mommy's basement (angry wimps are funny!), but I'm afraid one of these guys who builds his next gf out of parts from Radio Shack is going to have dollar signs in his eyes. Guess what will happen then.

Yeah, it's not easy to find real men now... but it's going to be impossible if real men start buying fake women. It scares me a little, but at the same time it kind of makes me angry. I don't know of any women building male-bots.

Whaddya do... :-(
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 130 (view)
 
yeah, with amazing guys
Posted: 8/25/2016 5:23:29 PM
I'm not looking for a relationship.

With amazing guys or any other guys.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Don't Look, He Will Come to You
Posted: 8/20/2016 8:52:36 AM

I have heard this several times before, where people have told me "Don't look for him, let him come to you". As far as looking for a guy on a dating site, app, through friends, or out at a local place like a bar, concert, or other event. But is this true, if you don't bother looking, the guy will eventually pop-up? What do you think of this form of method for dating?


It's been my experience that it's only true if you believe in ESP, unless you're always out and about and are godawful good-looking.

Honestly though, I can say from experience that the whole Sleeping Beauty bit should have been quietly laid to rest in the 1950s.

If you know what you want, go out and get him... this is not some male chauvinist country where women get arrested for taking the initiative. The preamble to our Constitution says "life, liberty, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS". That means us too, sister.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Divorced vs. Never Married
Posted: 8/12/2016 9:17:12 PM
"Estranged" should suffice.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 111 (view)
 
What Do You Do When You Can't Be With The One?
Posted: 6/15/2016 6:23:34 PM
At this point, I look at the bigger picture... as a rhetorical question to the OP's question, I have to ask: was it EVER about love for ANY of us?

It's not a good feeling when you wake up one morning and realize the whole world of dating is made up of meanness and all sorts of bull**** rules that were made up by a handful of fast talkers.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 41 (view)
 
messages from men
Posted: 5/16/2016 7:16:02 PM
Seriously, I've gotten loads of messages from guys who sound like they learned their communication skills from the Cookie Monster.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Male Birth Contol
Posted: 5/7/2016 1:15:59 PM
TBH I think a "week before" pill for men is long overdue, I don't know why pharma companies are dragging their feet on developing it.

Oh wait, I **DO** know why... think of all those lawyers who specialize in paternity suits, they'd be out of a job if men could just take a pill and hump away! XD

But seriously... back in the 1980s the Chinese were experimenting with some stuff called gossypol, apparently it's a toxin found in trace amounts in cotton seeds. Well, they made it into pills and fed them to men who volunteered to try it... it halted their sperm production alrightey, but it made 10% of the men permanently unable to produce sperm after they stopped taking the stuff. So, I guess they figured it wasn't worth going back to the drawing board... but there HAVE to be other drugs they haven't invented yet. One of them is a week-before pill for men.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Do I Really Want to Date Again?
Posted: 5/7/2016 1:01:39 PM
In my case, things were nowhere near as bad as what you went through. I gave up on the whole dating thing after I got my heart broken one too many times... but I can't imagine what it must feel like when that special someone is dying, or even if it's just someone who lives under the same roof as you. I'd probably crack.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Anyone else on here actually don't mind being slone?
Posted: 4/10/2016 4:43:37 PM
I still get messages from guys in my inbox daily. Most of them are the run of the mill "hey, you're beautiful, let's get together" or just "hey". But once every couple of months on average, a message will show up from a guy who hasn't messaged me before, empathizing because he's had bad experiences too.

I'm the first to admit I'm picky---a woman like me almost has to be. I'm not interested in a roll in the hay, what I'd really enjoy instead is a man who enjoys a lot of the same activities I enjoy, and also has a vivid imagination. That last one is something very few people nowadays have IMO. Instead, I take a lot of flak for not giving away my heart to just anyone.

But TBH I'd rather keep doing the work I enjoy even if it means having no one around to appreciate it and share the rewards it brings, than deal with someone who's constantly trying to "score" with me just because of the way I look. I've thought of initiating convo with some of the guys I used to see at meetups when I used to go to those, problem is a woman who's aggressive like that, comes off sounding desperate... the decent men will avoid her like a shark infested beach.

Also, I just love how some of the other posters on here come back and tell me how my bad luck is all my fault. Gotta love the way they turn things around... maybe it's why they're still lonely too.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/10/2016 7:06:22 AM
I'm convinced the man is not born yet who's looking for love.
 Lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Found dead, eaten by cats
Posted: 4/2/2016 11:46:17 PM
You folks really should approach this topic more positively. When my rotting corpse begins to stink up the condo, rest assured my days of loneliness will be over! XD
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
prostitution should be legal in places other than The Chicken/Bunny Ranch
Posted: 1/4/2016 8:54:54 PM
What exactly prevents these men from buying a Fleshlight??? I'm not a man, but 60 bucks for something that will give you your "fix" is a pretty good deal... plus, it's portable!
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Broken heart or broken ego?
Posted: 1/4/2016 8:46:57 PM
Broken ego sounds like something that would happen to a narcissist.

Imagine believing you're the greatest person on earth and then someone "hot" tells you they don't think you're that great? That's gotta hurt.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where broken hearts and feelings go to die ....
Posted: 1/4/2016 8:42:31 PM
Believe me sister, I know the feeling. I'm only a year older than you and in my experience, dating hasn't been worth the trouble.

Doubtless some people would find my dating horror stories pretty amusing, though... :(
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Funny profile typos
Posted: 12/31/2015 8:08:01 PM

hi ma name is prabh .... me basically from india .... i m fun loving guy me find a friend on this site .... me a good dancer mw won the two compitition of dance .... me love music me luv dance .....


India??? Sister, it sounds like you got hit on by the Cookie monster from Sesame Street! XD
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 38 (view)
 
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/31/2015 8:02:03 PM
Yeah, I confess... I'm guilty of that.

It doesn't matter to me what the guy looks like... if he just writes "hi" or "hey" or some flirty come-on in Cookie-monster English, I block him and forget it. It's been my experience that the dumbest guys are also the horniest.

TBH I wouldn't be surprised to check my inbox to find a pic of some tongue-lolling retarded guy with "DUH!!!" in the subject line. (Sorry, but I don't find mentally disabled people charming or cute.)

OTOH then there are the sob stories... man oh man, some of the guys who've messaged me sounded like "wounded souls".

I'm pretty close to just buying a mannequin and calling it a day.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Has online dating improved over the years?
Posted: 12/27/2015 6:15:51 PM
IMPROVED????? Ha ha ha!!! If anything, it's gotten worse!

I have a sneaking suspicion that playing the Sleeping Beauty game won't work anymore.

Castles jam-packed with Sleeping Beauties, but not enough Prince Charmings give a **** to go inside the castles and wake any of them up. The anesthesia will have to wear off on its own.

So much for fairy tale romance.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I never got the memo..?
Posted: 12/27/2015 6:06:29 PM
One thing that really urinates me off is when I get the feeling there's something everyone knows except me. And it's a big reason why I've totally given up dating until some of the rules change.

Anyhow... "sex first, get to know you later" makes ZERO sense to me. I can imagine a guy saying "meh... you're a lousy lay. Gotta throw you back into the sea." Well wouldn't that make you feel dandy???

I kid you not... a couple of months before I joined PoF, I got a date with one guy who CRIED when I told him I don't put out on the first date (or the 2nd, 3rd, etc). I thought, either this guy is a real weirdo, or he's a GREAT actor. Grimacing, tears, the whole 9 yards. If it was an attempt to make me feel sorry for him, he failed miserably.

Then there were the guys who grinned and acted like they didn't have the brains God gave them... but they sure wanted to get into my pants. Sorry, not today!

Is it because of the way I look? If it is, I can't help that. Maybe I'm supposed to... well, you can figure it out for yourself. But I can't shake this annoying feeling that I never got the memo.
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 42 (view)
 
The fear
Posted: 12/27/2015 5:37:36 PM
Not so much fear... more like feeling put off. Grrrrrr!
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Is the Meet Me feature a scam?
Posted: 11/1/2015 6:57:32 AM
Is the Meet Me feature a scam? Is the ocean wet? DUH... you have to PAY before you can use the feature...
 lexiinmdr
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 144 (view)
 
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/23/2015 6:38:24 PM
Heh, maybe there should be discount life size female dolls for boys who turn 18. Then they wouldn't have to pester us for sex. It's a win-win!
 
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