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 Author Thread: ..but they're blowing smoke up your...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 37 (view)
 
..but they're blowing smoke up your...
Posted: 5/21/2018 12:04:08 AM
Just passed my 14 year anniversary of quitting cold turkey.... (with thanx of my unknown pregnant body rejecting the pleasure.... )
whether it makes me judgmental or not, it's now a condition of friendship.... I just don't hang around people who smoke....
which means I also don't date them....

and considering a vaper just blew up.... (that's what I retained from brief read a few days ago) they are also included in my 'no go' list....


I had to laugh though, when I shot off a 'happenchance' message to one profile who advertised that they didn't smoke, they rejected me with "they 'do' smoke" hahaha.... takes all kinds....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 7:21:23 PM
As other's have said, it's YOUR timing...

for me though, (and your mileage may vary) if I heard that - especially that soon... (four dates) I'm gone... done... I've been burned way too harsh from 'love bombing' and have the battle scars to prove it...
In fact, I dare say nobody will hear that quotation from me for the remainder of my life...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
True or False? Only a fool would do such a thing?
Posted: 5/3/2018 8:28:36 PM
I've just joined a Wastebook group of older 'singles' - joined just before me is a POFer I corresponded with about 18 months ago... he probably remembers me... but I'm not phased... I don't see much to worry about since he lives way north of me (now)...

yeah, previous dates and I have discussed who we have 'seen' on POF... being a 'free' site, I wouldn't be surprised if creating a profile became rite of passage....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 31 (view)
 
THE great equalizer for us old farts?
Posted: 4/30/2018 6:38:14 PM
Time apart and time together....


I dare say this is why my female sibling's FIFO marriage has worked so well... and helped them last into 20 years together... she's a very strong overbearing woman... I have picked him for being a little weak (in my very few interactions with him)
He works in mining flying in and out of town for months at a time... he was in the military before mining... so more separations...
She stays at home (in the house they had to build 2 years after their last because they 'forgot' to put a theatre room in the old one) living on the income he provides...
The only time I've really understood him to stand up to her was on the subject of more than one child.... he said "No" and got a vasectomy...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Was I wrong to kick her to the curb?
Posted: 4/30/2018 6:27:59 PM

She could have been driving a sports car. A RED sports car. Bad enough to be driving a sports car but a red one? We ALL KNOW (don't we?) that ALL women who drive sports cars probably wanted to be cheerleaders and could not make the cut. They ALL live the rest of their lives trying to make up for it.

She also coulda been one of those women who like to color their hair a different shade weekly. She could have shown up with BLONDE hair. It's the RULE isn't it? Blonde = BIMBO.

EVERY blonde woman is going to be a dingbat of some variety.

Correct?


now I just think that kpol is going from the [possible] sublime [although in hindsight - probable silly] to the ridiculous....

maybe trying to get some momentum going in the forums... are you?
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Was I wrong to kick her to the curb?
Posted: 4/29/2018 2:19:44 AM
:: shifts around getting comfy with a few beers &pretzels on side::: I’m thinking this is gonna get interesting reading when LiR and other motorcycle ma’ams Get in here.....

*personally, I’m not a motorcycle fan... I have toooo many anecdotes from patients, brother, buddies etc in my mind to consider them safe.... however, I’m not going to let motorcycle riding be a dealbreaker for me.... I just won’t be riding with him and armed with that knowledge, I’ll let him make up his mind....

I can’t say if it was too soon... only you can figure that out.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/29/2018 1:13:35 AM
July... USN sailors closed down the “biggest & best” brothel here in 2002......exhausted the ladies.... we have stringent rules regarding working industry down here... in fact the working girls would be “cleaner” with frequent STD screenings than some of the bar girls that never get themselves tested.....
yes, your average joe hits the brothels and prostitutes - I dare say it’s just something not bragged about.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
THE great equilizer for us old farts?
Posted: 4/25/2018 6:44:52 PM

There was a thread floating around a while ago, about people's views on LATR's-Living Alone but Together Relationships. It simply boils down to, do whatever type of relationship you want, and look for someone with the same view or go it alone.


As soon as I read this topic, I instantly flashed back to that discussion, as well as the now active discussion about Women over 50 living on their own...
I'm in the 'on my own' category...
I just can't picture it in my future... I was asked about it in my last situationship when he wondered if I ever thought about marriage and more children... (give me a break, I'm almost forty friggen eight!!!! [was my gut reaction]) I suspect that had a one or two percent influence on our involvement...
Another situationship that ended up with me briefly moving in with a fellow, we had met because we lived in same street. My deal is now, must not live within a two mile radius...
Hell, I even had a mini heart attack the other week when my kidlet said "I'm never leaving home mom, you're too awesome...." (damnit kid, you don't have to, when you hit 18 and Child Protection Services not around, I'm running away back to my beloved Ice Island)

I've begun saving for my ultimate "Queen Single" bed... to only take me in it... wider than a king super single but not as wide as a double... it will go into a lovely French cottage bedroom suitable for me...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 247 (view)
 
Favorite POF forum posters?
Posted: 4/24/2018 12:52:30 AM


But I did want to ask, “Nataly? Seriously?”


Ditto....
when I read this I had to ask if there was perhaps another Nataly before the 2015 [timeframe] Nataly....

As for my personal favorites... hmmmmm, that's something I'll have to keep to myself, although there has been a European gent that certainly influenced a daydream of me cashing in my British by Descent ticket - Just so that I could entertain the idea of catching up over a beverage and shooting the breeze... (as I'm well aware I'm way out of his league but I did admire him)
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Too much emphasis and fear of being alone
Posted: 4/18/2018 2:51:00 AM
This was me at age 23... marrying because "it seemed like a good idea at the time".... 9 years of rough... and that wasn't the sex either!! I hear he's now successful with MrsK#3... in his longest marriage....

I have been 'single' for 20 years and now I embrace my singledom.... rather liberating... and being in a 'relationship' is not a problem to be solved... I would actually find it rather hard to make the time to put someone else as a priority...
Rather ironic considering my siblings are in 30 year marriages...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Teenagers anyone?
Posted: 4/18/2018 2:42:59 AM
One teenager is enough... as I tell him, if I don't get at least 5 "I hate yous" per day, I'm not doing my job right... but his teachers seem to be sending me good news...
and that has been after a huge bout of ten years of chaos including me calling the cops to the house when he was 11... that bit of 'support' for both of us was an extreme... but well timed... as he knows I won't hesitate to do it again... but apparently I'm doing okay...

the only other incident I've had with teenagers was a fellow I was dating... and his teenaged boy (very reactive, hard to hold down a job and loads of anger inside) had a go at me [about a lifestyle choice about my dog's behaviour]... his father - weakly said that I hadn't helped when I gave back in defending myself...
I knew then that I wouldn't be supported if I had to cope with 'him' again and I split... I learned from that incident, to teach my boy... any man I choose to date deserves automatic respect (when finally introduced)... and I expect the respect barometer to fluctuate accordingly.... on both sides of the table...
however, I'm fairly sure I won't have to cross that bridge...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 10 (view)
 
On Point Kids
Posted: 4/18/2018 2:29:13 AM


Ooooooooh!! Burn! :) That's hilarious. What did you say in response to him? "Tu che my dear lad... tu che..."? :)


there are times I'll go with it.. with him on the Spectrum, I'm just glad he sees humor... even if it is a 'dig'... I could never get that 'partnership' joking going on with my [puritanical] mother... so I show him we 'oldies' still see fun in sex...

and 3 inch penis??? dang, is that erect??? (my son just saw this, he says "three inches??? is that the former of yours you told me about mom??")

the fun part... "remember kiddo, I have video evidence of your phallic stage at 13months old!!!"
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Fertility Matters
Posted: 4/18/2018 2:14:37 AM
"going back to good ole Catholic birth control... rhythm.."

and cue another surprise pregnancy....???
Ouch, I'm horrified... I recognise there's issues with the 'regular' methods... and sitting here watching I see you holding onto another child or two raising your brood to 5 or six...

I had a Uni pal... she was very churchy... but when I finally caught up with her after a period of no contact... she's finally sorted through her divorce, worked hard getting a University degree and had her first vacation away from her 7 children at age 57... her youngest was (at that time) 11years old... She says she went into marriage with one... and looked after her (then) husbands daughters... and bam, every year was popping out another baby... she said "Jess, I'm tired... I can't even work fulltime for the degree I've gained".... and their father doesn't even care.
but now she's hounding her firstborn boy to have children with his girlfriend... he doesn't want to...
He's had to help with all these siblings all his life.. and I can understand why he doesn't want children....

My father didn't want children... and I know my mother got pregnant (not just once, but 3 times) on purpose to try to make him step up and be a father and participate in their [dysfunctional] marriage.. this has not helped my self esteem - given much of the things I've discovered since their deaths...

July... some wise posters here have given lots of wise words... Fear Of Missing Out on a 'guy' because you have a viable womb - is that something you want to go into a relationship about??
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Fertility Matters
Posted: 4/11/2018 8:19:52 PM

how much do other woman on here think about it?


Perimenopausal woman... after having lost my daughter at birth (and after her I requested tubal ligation but was refused) I now have my 'one & done' (surprise @ age 37) and thank the taxpayers for their support in my 'special needs' role, and I'm truly over the 'need to breed'. This 'incubator' is out of service...
I have zero desire to be a grandmother... so offering my son his (almost) lifetime of (unused & saved) child support payments when he turns 21 to ensure this does not happen. (it's an offer, not a non-negotiable deal... ) We both agree that world is overpopulated (Australia has exceeded growth expectations by 8 years already) and we see the sense in the plot of Dan Brown's "Inferno".... (this is enhanced when we learned of a family of a single mom and 12 children at his local school.... yikes)

I purposely avoid men who have 'open to more children' or 'undecided', and I try to also veer away from young grandfathers... I recognise that this severely limits my dating pool... Even further limiting my opportunity is the fact that my one tweenager is a 'boy'.... as mentioned previously... boys/single moms is a combination that men [here on PoF have admitted] try to avoid.... I come from a family line of 'short' living (not past 70yo) and I have about 20 years ahead.... and from next year (after skills refresher sessions) I'll be working a lot of that... I don't want to be tied down to more children of 'young age'....

so as an older... I had a lot to think about.... I am fine with my choices....

your mileage may vary
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/11/2018 8:00:16 PM
I have learned that "your mileage may vary".... and "opinions are like farts, everybody has them but not all of them have to be aired in public"....


yeah, I'll have to think about a few things here... I'm sure the usual offenders (**wink wink**) will chime in before I get back...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 231 (view)
 
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:23:43 PM
^^^^
I sit corrected... you are right... let's hope OP has taken some of this discussion on board... as he got ten pages of attention...


In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.


Quality??? really???? lol
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 40 (view)
 
You know you are getting OLD when...
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:17:28 PM
I know I'm 'still' somewhat young... because when I fell down the other day, everybody laughed at me.... people only rush to help you up when you're old **humor**

anyway... we were talking about 'bad sex'??? yeah, cruising into my third anniversary of last & bad sex... as Mustang says...
Some sex is bad b/c we choose the wrong partner. sometimes its bad b/c the person isn't as hot for us, as we are for them (like when we land someone outside our league). If we don't turn someone on, we can't really turn them on. We can just make their body feel something, but their head and heart may not be in it.

it was an awful night of missed miscommunications prior, that had a few weeks of prior issues.. and the opportunity was 'long & boring'... it was one of those 'I know this ain't going anywhere' nights... (prowess needed to overpower his heart not being in it)
damn, the things I would have changed if I had known it was going to be my last time LOL

as for how I know I'm 'old'... the hormonal loss of hair, (that's hurting) those nana naps in the afternoon... and the fact that I have to be in bed by 9pm... it's gonna be an interesting 20 years ahead. lol
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:00:51 PM
What is this 'who messages you?" nonsense???? lol

lots of looks, no messages... and yeah, being a fat/bland/white woman.... (yes, cooldog I laughed) I message them and the 'horror' that I've made contact.... lol this is even on mutual 'meet me' fellows...

as for how I know they're not compatible or 'qualifiers'... not contributing to the message conversation...takes about four or five exchanges and I sense it's not going anywhere... and that's okay....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 7 (view)
 
On Point Kids
Posted: 4/10/2018 6:53:17 PM
I just hope that being this 'open' with our onpoint kids, that we're somewhat setting them up for 'healthy' selves...

my boy feels he can tell me... "just going to my room for a w@nk"....
me, "ya want me to put that on the front page of the newspaper??"

damn, some things I just don't need ta know.... lol
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 229 (view)
 
VERY LOW OPINION OV MY SELF EVEN LOWER
Posted: 4/10/2018 6:39:15 PM
JulyStorm... that's a statement worth taking into my personal notes.... epic breakdown of something that has been going on in my head.... I trust you understand if I take it with 'credit' (but it's still only personal notes)

I know that *personally... I can't even begin to see Intimate attraction until I see strong indicators in the Functional, Physical and Personal attractions...

NewYorker...

True, you'd have to adjust what you want according to supply and demand, but one can't veer off too much, because then both men and women that feel they settled may not look at their s/o with loving eyes, but instead with a level of contempt. It wouldn't be fair to one's partner to have that attitude. I'd rather be by myself than be with someone that feels they settled. I'm not only looking to make myself happy, but also want my partner to be happy.


Nicely put.... I remember the gut ache of 'settling'... and how crumby I felt when I had to dissolve the situationship... Never want to go through that again, hurting someone else in raising their hopes.

(on an aside.... and on topic... just how long does OP consider 'a few days'.... l*****g b*****d still has that screenshot up after a week)
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 90 (view)
 
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 4/4/2018 7:07:17 PM
hmmm, I meet 'dateable' men in real life all the time.... library, hardware store, school yard, running club, pool service center... I just fail to recognise the opportunities... or maybe because I'm apathetic to factors of life I don't push for any more than idle 'chit chat'....

however - the last time I dated anyone that I met in real life, was hmmmmm 2006... yeah, lived just down the road from me and his exwife and children were no end of drama.... recognise that I shoulda left well enough alone - and probably why I don't take up 'todays' dateable opportunities.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Gimme a number. Your best guess will do just fine.
Posted: 4/4/2018 6:49:45 PM
When I have 'co-operative' internet access, I lurk... a LOT..... this is partly because of my lifestyle has been - not working....
I use my tablet for 'most' forum 'reading' - or as my son says "spying on your imaginary friends'....

I have issues (on my tablet) with signing in to forums to comment (made a whole post last night and it didn't take), and given that I'm in a different timezone to "the usual offenders" (**grin**); it takes something to really move me to sign in on my laptop and 'real' keyboard... and post a comment/socially interact.... so hmmmm, maybe 5% of my time is 'participation'???

however, even my lurking will drop exponentially from July as I've been accepted into a nursing skills refresher program... and from there I'm trying for a few years of specialty study to upgrade career choices...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 68 (view)
 
very low opinion of myself, and now its even lower
Posted: 4/1/2018 5:42:03 AM
newYorker:
you're painting Brits with a wide brush. How long have you been on POF? Show me a guy that's not whinging. It's not a Brit thing.


Oh darl’n... how long have I been here? I’m gutted, totally... (kindly note sarcasm)... at least a good three years under ‘this’ profile..... probably following the forums a good six or seven years..... I guess I slipped by your radar with all that beautiful PNWscenery and your arguments with the Trout guy.... anyway, as I said... originally... I am of British stock.... first born Aussie of English parents... I Weird that brush well....

Roxy:
touché..... Jessi that did make me laugh :)

As I said Roxy... the “good” Brits are few & far between... (as are the good of “any” culture)... some of my friends in NI almost have me cashing in my British by Descent ticket and moving over.... almost... lol (and it wouldn’t be for the menfolks either)
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 60 (view)
 
very low opinion of myself, and now its even lower
Posted: 3/31/2018 6:33:59 PM
Roxy:
I say old mum, that’s a bit offensive. What’s your now reinforced opinion of Brits? (just curious)


see... another Brit complaining... lol

My comment was in response to another brit boy from Leeds complaining about things on PoF (in another thread)
so while the 'good' Brits are 'few and far between'... (down here in Aus) most of them are just whining....

Now back to topic... I note that yet another day on, OP still hasn't removed his screenshot - despite best advise... so was he really complaining or seeking pity.... (as mentioned before, I avoid those types of "feel sorry for me" profiles...)
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 47 (view)
 
very low opinion of myself, and now its even lower
Posted: 3/30/2018 10:15:17 PM
First thing I'm going to say is "Yeup, OP is from UK.... and yet again, my opinion of Brits is reinforced.... " (and that's big considering I'm of British stock)

Next, while yes, she was a wee bit tactless in her reply.... I note that OP's tantrum and 'escalating' the tactless behaviours really doesn't do him any favors... as other people here have said - she already warned people in her profile about the type of person she seeks... and yet, OP did not heed that warning... so there's participation faults on his part too. '

Meanwhile, after a few days of several comments suggesting he remove the 'screenshot' of her reply, he still hasn't... and is hmmm, (despite his opening comments) maybe seeking pity folks?? I myself would 180 and run, FAST in the other direction if I saw that... what's to say he won't 'screenshot' anyything I said... even our 'bitter' comments here in the forums... could end up there....

OP self esteem comes within... there's a lot of us here who have had to 'fake it til we make it'... if your self esteem is that fragile, maybe online dating is not for you....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
On Point Kids
Posted: 3/28/2018 7:40:35 PM
I'm trying to keep this humorous... figured that some of we single parents could use it - as we wade through the quagmire of dating and managing the offspring...
What "on point" comments have your kids made about your dating life... whether it be existent or extinct...
I'll go first.. (by the by - extinct - I've just got too much on my plate to factor in a fellow)


My now turned 13 tweenager was lolling about on my bed annoying me (only child, and attention seeking as they do) and happened to lay crosswise across the foot of it... (single bed) hanging head and toes over edges... he happened to pull up overhanging valance and discovered... to his joy.. a stash of Lego I was hiding from him (in preparation for rewarding great grades at school)

He goes into rapture... " oh, you DO love me... you shouldn't have... you are amazing.... etc etc"

I replied "Well, I would have thought you found it the other week when you ransacked my bedside tables looking for chocolate stashes.... "

He says "no mom, didn't bother looking under the bed because when I did all other times all I found were dust and d!ldos!!!"

damn kid just about floored me...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Blokes imprsonating women, what can we do?
Posted: 3/25/2018 8:32:53 PM
^^^^
Yes. Go for that refund..., hahaha...
Obviously there seems to be a problem.... last time I checked this site was not strictly gender born specific... and we have all sorts of users... if your trigger happy finger (or whatever) happens to check open a profile, that’s on you.... if the other person looks... that is again on you for having shown them... (there are settings for that Yano) meanwhile, our poor trans person is probably complaining that some “gender born” has defiled their “viewed me” page.... hahaha

Meanwhile, I note the OP is from Leeds.... UK.... yeup, another whinging Pom.... screwing up and Making it somebody else’s fault....

We have a common knowledge joke down here:
“How do you know when a bunch of poms have arrived in Australia?”
“You hear the whining long after the plane engines have stopped!”
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 69 (view)
 
I cheated on my boyfriend and I don't feel anything
Posted: 3/20/2018 9:37:48 PM
It's 'someone' with power... 'maybe'....

as my post agreeing with Mr Trout was 'deleted'.... (as I can't see it)
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 7 (view)
 
.
Posted: 3/20/2018 9:22:20 PM
Ummm, dare I say, I'm Jessi - Jessie was me great grandmother..... :)

(my mother was Margaret Jessica)

(Yes, it's a family name)

-... ..- - / .-.. . - / ..- ... / --. . - / -... .- -.-. -.- / - --- / -.. --- - - .. -. --. / .- -. -.. / -.. .- ... .... .. -. --.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
.
Posted: 3/20/2018 8:34:09 PM
.--- ..- ... - ....... .-- .... . -. ....... -.-- --- ..- ....... - .... .. -. -.- ....... - .... . ....... ..-. --- .-. ..- -- ... ....... .... .- -.. ....... ... . . -. ....... .. - ....... .- .-.. .-..
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/20/2018 8:30:30 PM
dang... can't edit... so addendum^^^^



Use to host an annual Halloween bash.


Halloween is my jam. Christmas and Turkey Day can suck it.


Much to the chagrin of 'many' Aussies Halloween is slowly taking affect here.... in my house we celebrate twice a year... October for the 'commercial' that my son enjoys so much... and (non-commercially) in May when for 'our' southern hemisphere season it is appropriate... and it usually falls on my birthday....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Does anyone entertain at home anymore?
Posted: 3/20/2018 8:25:48 PM
Henry described my house best in Message 19...
[quote/]"it is not large, not fancy, and not suited to entertaining."
I'm focused on keeping a roof over head of my son and I and us 'comfortable'... I rent... our furniture is 'seconds'... we've just moved cross country and still establishing a "friendship' network...
this house 'could' have good potential, but it's purely a sanctuary... we swim in the pool on one side, I garden in the other...


I 'daydream' about entertaining... but recognise the reality that it won't happen... (establishing a kids community Lego club has been hard enough....) I enjoy Meetup for the 'entertainment' factor.. and that we can rotate/exchange locations much easier... a broad range of coffee shops/ restaurants and others do the cooking/cleaning....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Need help????
Posted: 3/17/2018 3:26:42 AM
^^^^^^^^

What she said.... plus one....

“Yikes”.....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Should I go for it?
Posted: 3/5/2018 6:42:30 PM
hey, no harm no foul....

and this way, at least you'll have had a 'physical' visual of the guy instead of waiting for the "three-month-texter-twenty-minutes-away" guy that you wonder if you should give up....


I'm beginning to wonder about this poster.... and I'm not getting cozy feels....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Do i give up?
Posted: 3/5/2018 3:37:38 PM
Loads of sage advice from folks before me... so I'll echo again.... the definition of insanity - doing same thing over and over and expecting a different result....

if the guy ain't gonna make ten mins to come meet you half way.... (definitely within two weeks of first contact) he's not that into you....

Like the song... "let it go!!!!"
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Odd man out
Posted: 3/2/2018 2:29:09 AM
tending to agree with NY58.... "No one has to be alone. With approximately 50% of couples divorcing, there are plenty of people to run around with. If you want to feel needed, volunteer someplace."

I'm rather used to being the 'odd one'.... this was strongly evidenced in my family - when I was never invited to 'family' gatherings and was purposely left out of the loop.... lovely insult last year when I found my mother's true feelings in her diary... (being from out of town, I was staying at her place [at my brother's suggestion/invitation] when she was in hospital on her last days).... and then further embellished when everything was left to the youngest sister/daughter.... who was also named executor...

Due to not being able to fiscally and safely stay in the state of my heart, I moved back here [to my birth state] to catch up and chose to live near a long time 'friend' that I had known since my married days.... in 5 months of living around the corner, and my son and I visiting over there, he and his wife/family have not come the two blocks to visit us...... granted, he has had his final semester of University... but it still smacks of rejection...

So I'm doing what I did in the old state... working towards more volunteering (old folks homes, animal refuge centres, nature reserves etc) and setting up community clubs.... an old highschool chum that has been on my facebook page has asked me to coach her for an upcoming fun run... so we catch up most Saturday mornings for a 'fast' walk in Parkrun... (has that made it to the USA yet??? Rhetorical question folks, I could Google that) Meetup has a strong participation here (compared to my cooler state) and there are always activities on... (holiday weekend here and we're inundated with events)

I'm trying to teach my Master 13 about the 'level playing field' for friendship and reciprocation....
I have no problems 'meeting' people.... it's finding the time to invest in them and receive it from them.... a central 'volunteer' location helps that....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 36 (view)
 
ah well, live and lurk
Posted: 2/26/2018 4:11:00 PM
^^^^^

Well (no water puns intended) it would appear that a good 'booting' from PoF is also the fountain of youth.... someone has returned a good couple of decades younger....
Welcome back you...

* I was slow on the uptake of Mr Mustang's identity... must make sure I up my Brahmi (brain connection) consumption...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 196 (view)
 
scammers
Posted: 2/24/2018 9:04:29 PM

^^^ This comment 188 and 190 are so out there in left field.
A person on disability is dateable and never should be classified as they have been in these messages.
CPP is not easy to be eligible for so in turn a person whom did not quality has no optition but to go on Provincial government disability.
Ppl should be judge on themselves not their income.


I too was disturbed by these comments.... there's a line we use at home - "is it necessary".... sometimes it's just entirely better to keep yer opinions to yourself lest you show up your true colors...

I have seen the most amazing people on 'benefits' partnered up and married etc... (they've got a lot more grunt than I have) they had someone 'see their disability' and like them anyway.

As for 'scammers'... (we are talking 'online dating' right ::grin::) just had a couple message me and I saw them from USA... after the last big one, I'm much much more alert now.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Long-Timers Who Live On the Forums
Posted: 2/21/2018 11:21:07 PM
Yeup, I'm a long time lurker... and I live here 'sometimes'...
The PoF forums are my little rocks that I hide under when I don't want to deal with "real" society...

Even my teenage son has said "so how are your imaginary friends today???"
(remember, nothing is real until we meet.... so I guess he's right... lol)

dang....
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do people still talk to the person before opting to go out on a date?
Posted: 2/21/2018 11:12:47 PM
depends on the person... I agree with all opinions above, because I don't think there are any hard and fast 'rules' persay... it's just a 'case by case' situation...

actually it's because I've talked with people on the phone that I have NOT gone out with them for a meet.. if I can't understand them on the phone - how is it going to be 'down the track' and trying to deal with what is an obvious communication barrier... (and this is clearly indicated in my profile that I have communication barriers)

but I 'do' like to make a first 'meet' something lightweight and low cost investment - not a heavy 'date'.... as has been said earlier, I want to know what sitting 'with' them is like...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/21/2018 11:01:52 PM
I'm with the 'release her' crowd... or if you decide to keep her, let her know what your boundaries are.... that events such as this will be split fiscally in the future... and you'll BOTH decide on mutual accommodation... (wow, $500 for two night weekend sounds out there for 'just two months involvement)

I would never suggest anything like a weekend away to a fellow and then "expect" him to pay... but that's independent me... if I can't cover at least half... it's not on my mind.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Experiences dating/being married to the horoscope star sign Cancer Male
Posted: 2/19/2018 10:36:06 PM
::::::: The eveloution of jessse::::::::

you called??? (my quotation skills are not working)
I had to read back a bit... do I presume you were asking about 'my' red flags????
(laziness was not one of them)

when I look back at them, I see I contributed... so in fairness, he can't wear all the blame... he was 'pushy' to meet... ie strong indication of meet next day when we were messaging late night before... not clear on 'invitation'... or when we were 'involved'... distancing himself... would not answer texts until day or two later... never stayed at my place or visited (despite his 'best work mom' living behind me) and became increasingly resentful of my son being around (and his development/social delays)... made strong mention of 'previous' partners, particularly the last that lived next block up from him....
Yeah... things like one month "I never want to lose this (spooning) feeling" and next month "I have nothing left to be here for"... that was a catalyst statement for me...
the big deal was the 'hidden habits' that left me pondering... and then I was blamed for 'not talking' about it...

however, like I say "experience may vary"...
hence, I've plucked up the courage to meet and have a short lunch meal with a (communicative) 'Cancerian' tomorrow - I won't hold it against him... he already has enough trouble being a lawyer..... lol
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Experiences dating/being married to the horoscope star sign Cancer Male
Posted: 2/19/2018 4:24:30 AM
Not that I hold his starsign against him, but my last... and the one to send me to the lowest of the lowest I've ever reached in my life.... was a Cancerian... I'm no psychology expert but there was definitely something 'off' in our situationship.... being a nurse, he knew some tricks to mess with some minds... yes, loads of moods, periods of silence and indications of "I'm not near my phone all the time" and dark inner thoughts he joked came from his clientele... (might have been some of the 'only child' syndrome, and adopted factors in there too)
I was also responsible for not seeing obvious red flags... but "IF" we're going to play 'starsign' games... the Taurean trait of 'love' would have been to blame for that. (if we're not, it's just because I was 'lovebombed' so fast and heavy after a few lonely years)

However, in the world of PoF Forums... the disclaimer quote
YMMV
Your Mileage (experience) May Vary...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/15/2018 8:09:51 PM

Cynderella: Jessi I live your pain of loss....sorry for no mother should have to bury their children
CBGB77: Oh Jessi,so sorry for your loss.
I'm very sorry Jessi. Just terrible.

thanx team - while it was 29 years ago and I'm real with it, that wasn't offered as way to gain sympathy, but provided for anyone nitpicking my profile and indicating 'no mention of a daughter'... Yanno, there are the nitty pickers...
(if anything, it reminds my son that he can't lay a guilt trip on me... given that "one of us is going before the other" if he goes first - I'm not burying him, I already have plans for his ashes. **we are a very pragmatic family pair**)



Meetup is a "hook up group"?

DANG... wait till I tell my ladies that meet for coffee, Devonshire teas and "stitch&****" sessions... oh, and the Sunday afternoon foreshore picnics....



CurvyLady1965: There are some in their seventies I find very attractive, yet there are some barely 50 who don't manage to wear it well.

I hear you there... we have a lot of 'gentlemens' who have broken themselves - this makes trying to meet someone to even keep up with my lifestyle of 'gentle' runs... difficult...


She said "depends", too...

damn, 'Depends' translates to "Teena's" over here... so when I saw a profile with "Seeking Teena" as a catchphrase, I was a wee bit **wink** curious as to what type of person would advertise this dependency....

and wouldn't you know it, just as I start looking at threads, in the 'users' line - neatly lodged in there is a photo of a young thang, pretty sure he was 'naked' under that glistening oil.... (frame stopped at the 'bottom' of the abdominal pack... ) and "whew"... thought I was a young woman again.... lol
yeup, need to remember my own 'reality ranges'... lol
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 2/14/2018 8:42:01 PM

What do you think is the proper age range for my search parameters?


Whatever YOU feel comfortable with.....
YMMV

*Personally - at that awkward age of 50, if I were to use the divide and add 7 number, I'd be seeking 'men' my daughter's age*.... uuuugh.... way tooooooo young for me....
if I were to go the upward range.... eeek, it was okay when I was past 34 and dating a fellow in his 50's.... but I couldn't go there now (never mind that my employment industry is aged care and I'd have 'implications' hanging over my head)

I have my PoF search parameters set to -6 years and +10... I am not yet ready to be a grandmother.... with my lad being only 13... so tend to I veer away from the grandfathers (I'm not ready to go through infants and 'babysitting').... but I'm also wary of the blokes my age who haven't had kids.... and probably don't want to be involved...
I recognise I have 'high settings' (for ages) and limiting my opportunities but yeah, I'm okay with that.


Disclaimer* my daughter's age if she had survived.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Would you ever try to get a ex back who dumped you?
Posted: 2/13/2018 8:33:31 PM


Nah, my self-respect is too intact for that now. A few years ago, yes, I might have groveled for a second chance. I was also a mess back then.



I made this mistake myself with my last on and off relationship. Been solo for almost 5 years since that ended.


was just on phone to my buddy last night.... his (at least 2 year) 'on/off/on/off/on/off/on/off/on/off/on/off/on' situationship is 'off' again - she was threatening an AVO to be served at his new job.....
I had warned him two months ago when he told me they were back together - to not involve me... and left it at that.

Yes, I'm grateful for knowledge to never go back.... I'm approaching 3 years since last bloke walked out the door... and that was after I told him that I don't 'chase'... (seeing the mess my buddy is in) I could do another 10years solo quite happily and comfortably...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 2/5/2018 12:20:42 AM

GTO? KJ? LH?

It's getting spooky here!


GTO??? Gone?? no waaaay...
I rarely visited and followed down in Off Topic but up here in Dating and Relationships, I enjoyed reading his contributions...

hmmmm,
well thar's one contributor fishy I'll definitely miss...
lurking just won't be the same...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Have you ever dated a hoarder?
Posted: 2/2/2018 4:09:16 PM
^^^^^

so you're continuing with the 'hoarder' while your other prospect is sick and unwell???

Why you sly dawg you :: wink wink ::

Just kidding matey... Just an Aussie dig at your fortunate luck to have two ladies to conquest... (I had presumed this lady had fallen out after the 'sick' lady was in the picture)

I fully agree with you... get out there and diversify...

Circus sounds cool...
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 85 (view)
 
How Many Meet Me Notices Are In Your Mailbox?
Posted: 1/29/2018 8:17:42 AM
Well said Ms Angel....

I’ve not paid much of any attention to the MM feature because I recognise it for what it is, a visual hot/not button pusher.... once I “played the game” and discovered 5 mutual meet mes.... two were too far away and two couldn’t write much of content... I’m confident in my guess that none of them had looked at my profile... (and FWIW, before I consider a yes or maybe, I peruse that person’s profile, although that became more difficult when I was last there - about 6-8 weeks back)
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 37 (view)
 
How much texting/emailing before meeting?
Posted: 1/29/2018 8:05:00 AM
Ditto to the ladies before me..... agreed
 
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