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 Author Thread: Military Life and the Single Parent?
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
Military Life and the Single Parent?
Posted: 12/10/2009 6:43:01 PM
I'm in the Army Reserves now, I was active duty until last year. I'm a captain and I was commissioned through ROTC. To enter the Army if you have children, you sign over custody of your children to whomever you choose. I personally suggest your mother and stepfather because of their stability and preparedness. You will have plenty of paperwork to sign and for them to sign explaining the proceedure and what is required of you. Your contracts will be VERY clear, be sure to take your time and always read everything you sign through your whole career. Giving them parental rights would mean you would not be able to cover your children under Tricare unless you have custody of them or some kind of child support is established (if you can do that). You be sure to choose what career field you want. Don't let anyone choose for you or let you think that you can't wait until that career field opens up. You have until your Oath of Enlistment to change your mind about enlisting also.
Once you are enlisted (if you choose Army), you will go through basic training, then your AIT, or whatever it is called now, which will take you away from your family for about a year or more, depending on the career you choose. You will live on post in the barracks as a young soldier. You will recieve your basic pay and BAS (subsistance allowance). BAH is for when you live off post and COLA is for when you are stationed in an area where the cost of living is high, like CA, CT, NY, etc. Once you achieve the rank of E5 or you get married, you can move off post. Opinion here... Things can change over the course of 1-3 years and if you have the rank or the new spouse and it is feasible for you to gain custody of your children because your parents can no longer or are no longer willing to care for them, you can regain custody of them. There is probably that "fraudulent enlistment" policy, but you do your research. If you have your children in your custody, you will be required to have a Family Care Plan (Army), a will, a living will etc to cover you and your family for training excercises and deployments. They will have you update your records about every 6 months or so to screen for changes.
There are careers you can choose that will keep you on a camp if you should have to deploy. When I was in Iraq, I went on 3 convoys, one was to go to a party. I'm not going to insinuate that it is safe to deploy, but there are those with cushy jobs and those with more dangerous jobs, even for females. The Airforce, Navy and Marines were right out there with us doing the same work.
Understand, first and foremost, we are soldiers and we are trained to kill. You have to be physically and mentally prepared to do that. The physical may be cake for you or you may dread it (I for one dread it, but it makes me look soooo good). The mental part, you may shine at your job, but if you meet the point where your life is at steak, you are trained to react and you will. You may be a hero or you may be a victim in many ways.
If you know this is what you want to do, like the Navy woman said, Go for it! I'm sure you will be a great service member, but it is definately not for everyone. There will be plenty of opportunites for you to see your children. You have people that have posted who are "military brats". Many of them adjust very well because it is all they know, and some struggle, I'm sure you will do what is best for them. Just know the order, "Duty First", then your family.
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
Am I Wrong???
Posted: 12/10/2009 4:45:34 PM
I don't think you are wrong. I would feel the same way. It is not that you are trying to keep your son away from his mother, you don't want the criminal in contact with your son. I think that is reasonable and I really hope that you get it. No, you can't control who your wife decides to date, but she should have better judgement. Hopefully you will have your divorce sooner than you anticipate.
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
Cereal in the bottle..
Posted: 12/10/2009 9:08:05 AM
The warning on the box is for the companies to cover themselves. So if your child does choke on the cereal, you can't sue them because you were warned.
I did the same for my children. Once I stopped nursing, they had formula with cereal in it. They never choked.
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