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 Author Thread: Sobriety, dating in recovery....
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Sobriety, dating in recovery....
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:32:17 PM
I see noone has posted to this thread for several years. In case someone does come by, it seems people with codependency issues and chemical addictions tend to fall hard & fast and need to invest the time and effort into building a relationship that's healthy, once they've figured out who they are minus alcohol/drugs and what they need to thrive, what they want from a relationship, etc.
Just not drinking/drugging doesn't teach us how to have healthy relationships and some of us don't know what "normal" looks like. We need to find that out after we figure out who we are.
I healthy relationship is going to bring out the BEST in each other, both people, both people get their needs met, not just one of them. It takes so much to have a healthy relationship and just abstaining from chemicals will not give us that. We do have to be sober long enough to learn what we need to know in order to start having healthy relationships.
I spent a lot of time building/rebuilding relationships with my family over the years. It's a lot better and I love seeing my kids start getting healthier and making healthier choices. That's worth a lot!
One thing I would suggest is to try the group date thing. Rather than focus on a 1:1 intense from the beginning, instant "relationship", get involved with group activities, invite friends who support your recovery, or are in recovery, whatever you choose for your support network, to do things together. That takes a lot of the pressure off and gives you time to learn to socialize in a healthy, more pro-social way.
I hope somebody gets something out of this.
 Hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dancing
Posted: 6/10/2012 3:13:09 PM
If you don't want to drink, Hank's Station in Jacksonville has country dancing Friday & Saturday nights, starting about 7, I think.
It's more fun if you bring a partner. Watching is not much fun.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 319 (view)
 
One third of older women date younger men
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:46:52 PM
Well said, Sherri!
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 32 (view)
 
POF CHILI COOK-OFF SUPER BOWL- WATCH PARTY FEBRUARY1,2009
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:42:03 PM
That's fine & dandy, ezriderjim. Just remember I come to DANCE, not watch. That's why I bring my knitting--so I don't get ticked-off and go home where I can at least dance by myself without freaking anyone out. I'd much rather be dancing than knitting and will put it down in a heartbeat if I get a chance.
Maybe the non-cookers can bring crackers and milk??? Shredded cheese???
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
POF CHILI COOK-OFF SUPER BOWL- WATCH PARTY FEBRUARY1,2009
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:08:40 PM
Keith, I leave the hot stuff to be added by those that prefer it. The TX White Chili is very mild and the taste is entirely different from red chili.
Ladyhawk, will there be plenty of outlets so we can bring crock pots?
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
POF CHILI COOK-OFF SUPER BOWL- WATCH PARTY FEBRUARY1,2009
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:06:22 PM
Would you be interested in some Texas White Chili?
What happened to the dances? I wanna dance.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Real women
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:57:55 PM
I heard a song back in the 60s: "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, don't make a pretty woman your wife. Take it from my personal point of view. Pick an ugly girl to marry you..."
That's all the words I can remember of it. I was married to a "pretty boy", too. The problem with really beautiful people of either sex, sometimes, is they KNOW it.
These days, I don't really want a man that other women want, (as long as he is what I want). Competition is highly over-rated!
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 93 (view)
 
why does it suck trying to find someone decent in Arkansas?
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:45:58 PM
I was in TX and hadda come to Ar to make a living. Now how's that for a kick in the teeth? No, seriously, my dad had several strokes and I thought I probably needed to come spend some time with him while I could. Two years later, he moved back to TX and I got a divorce, lol.
Now my granddaughter and I love it since we moved to Little Rock from NE AR. I've made a few friends but always looking for friends, since romance seems to be for the young and pretty. Oh, well, what happened to the dances, SWARE?
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Sobriety, dating in recovery....
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:25:20 PM
I think there's wisdom behind the very common suggestion to not get into a new relationship the first 12 months of sobriety. I tell women new in recovery, "Get a plant. If the plant lives 6 months, then you can get a dog. If the dog lives 6 month, THEN you can have a relationship."
Seriously, it takes all we have to build a healthy relationship with ourself that first year. Some of us have low self esteem. Some of us have too MUCH self-esteem (of the unhealthy, self-centered kind). Many of us have to figure out we're not the center of the universe and we have to learn what a healthy relationship LOOKS like. Anything that makes us feel good we can get addictive about and we tend to take hostages rather than "lovers" and we tend to fall for the "instant relationship" fix, expecting someone to MAKE us healthy, whole, happy, etc.
And "thirteenth-stepping" (aka "recovery by insertion") is very common in 12-step groups. Predatory men AND women find people who are new in recovery, who desperately want to be rescued, a magic "fix", and "love" to them is an addiction as much as any chemical ever was. (If it feels good, we can get hooked.)
So, these newcomers are vulnerable and ripe for the exploiting and these predators will promise safety, protection, help, and "love", then, first thing you know, they are providing some chemical in exchange for physical favors.
If we want to be healthy, whole, and happily sober, we have to figure out how to cultivate that spectrum of CHARACTERistics that enable us to stay sober, happy and healthy, and the same kind of addictive approach to relationship is a detour from this process in the first few months of sobriety for a whole lot of us.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 85 (view)
 
How long does it take men to fall in love?
Posted: 8/23/2008 4:40:02 PM
If we aren't spending plenty of time in each other's presence, I'd expect it to take a lot longer (several months, if not a year), to get to know each other enough to be in love with the real, unique person, instead of an illusion we've created for ourself of what we want them to be. If we ARE spending lots of face-time together, it's still going to take several months, for the same reason. I want to know how a person handles difficult situations and difficult people, whether they do the moral thing when nobody's looking. I think we have more control over the love part than we have over the lust, but since we're grownups, we can control how we handle that, as well.
I don't want to love an illusion. I want to love a man, and I want to know he knows what he's getting into, lol, with me, as well. I don't understand how on earth someone can be "in love" with someone whom they know precious little about, other than the packaging. I sure HOPE a man doesn't just fall in love with my packaging, because there's a heck of a lot more to me than the shell I'm walking around in.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Real women
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:51:57 PM
A medicine man once told me that the best answer to a lot of questions is "not yet". I find that so very true in dating, even at my age. Red flags go up any time a man or woman talks about being in love the first few weeks (or hours) they've spent talking with that person. I think some people truly are deceived, and then some are just doing it for whatever they can get. It sure can get frustrating trying to find a love worth having and I've become resigned to just making new friends.
Yep, I know what you're talking about. Was married 30 years to my first husband. He died in Nov 1999 and I was looking at pictures my son posted on a website he has, yesterday. It had pix of us in 1969 and early 70s. And I still started crying when I looked too long at a picture of him when we first married. Am I looking for another one of him? Not at all. We disagreed as hard as we loved, sometimes and he had bipolar disorder that made him impossible at times. But we were best friends and lovers and that's special.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:39:20 PM
Well stated, rdb.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 57 (view)
 
why does it suck trying to find someone decent in Arkansas?
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:36:24 PM
The kind of maturity you're looking for usually shows up about 45 or 50ish, capncool1. I suggest you look at the church(es) of your choice, talk to friends and relatives about what you are looking for, and get involved in activities & groups where you are likely to find women (and men) with old-fashioned morals, ethics and character. Occasionally you might find what you're looking for on these singles groups, but you have to take things really slow and "Run, Forrest, RUN" if anybody says they're in love with you before you've spent several weeks, if not months, dating or doing activities together, and talking. Please don't fall for "the bum's rush". You'll regret it every time, I'm afraid.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:30:28 PM
The Cherokees have a very good word that works well in all sorts of conversations. The word is, for lack of Cherokee font on my computer, "hv", and sounds like a grunt, basically.
It can mean lots of things: yes, no, maybe, not now, very interesting, you're an idiot, bs, what did you just say?, good idea, never thought of it that way....
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Real women
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:25:00 PM
I think some of the people who play games just haven't figured out who (or what) they want to be when they grow up. They haven't taken the time to work on themselves and have some mask or front to protect themselves. These are the ones who are "innocent" (but naive) game-players.
Then there are some who are not healthy in their own skin, like some people who have bipolar disorder and actually believe their own lies, at times.
And then there are the ones who are predators and just lie for whatever they want to get. Those men & women are the predatory ones, who don't really believe their own lies, but who have such a sense of "entitlement" that the ends justifies the means in their minds, and the LAST thing they want is a healthy relationship or a person who knows them as they truly are. These are the folks who are incapable of sustaining lasting, committed relationships.
Talk's cheap and words cost nothing. But if you want to know a person's true character, you have to take the time and put in the effort to communicate. If they don't, then it's pretty likely they aren't what they present to you.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 313 (view)
 
One third of older women date younger men
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:19:29 PM
Well, since our "contemporaries" are dating the younger women or foreigners, that leaves the younger men for us "cougars". Since I'm not willing to be anybody's "one night stand" or "intimate encounter" (what an oxymoron), and am looking for character, responsibility, intelligence, interesting conversation, depth and similar values, I think anyone who judges others on preconcieved notions based on just one aspect, such as this kind of double-standard is a few bricks shy of a load.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:13:09 PM
Moodpainter, when a man can't respond with more than 1 or 2 sentences, I get the impression: (1) he's illiterate (2) english is not his first language, (3) he's not too bright, or (4) he's not really interested in anything but sex. If there are more options, I'm not aware of them.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Real women
Posted: 7/24/2008 4:15:52 PM
I've gotten the same reaction when I've waited for a man to open a door, Sware2. And you make a great point about what people are REAL at. Guess we need to specify what we're talking about when we ask for "real", huh?
Did want to qualify something. I DO play a few games: pool, rummy...
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Plenty of Fish Party, Little Rock, Ar, Aug 9, 2008 - Legion Club
Posted: 7/24/2008 4:02:25 PM
Hey, Ladyhawk, glad you're in on the planning for this shindig! And for the person(s) who were concerned about my 24 years of sobriety, I didn't blow it last weekend. Those were VIRGIN daiquiris, ok? Really!
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 45 (view)
 
POF Party, Little Rock AR, July19, 2008, 6:00p.m. Legion Club
Posted: 7/11/2008 5:28:56 AM
Don't believe ok about his pool game being rusty. He beat the socks outta me and I used to hustle pool, lol.
hawk
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:00:04 PM
Eeew, Michelle, that's a disappointment. I'd suspect those trips out to his car in the rain were for a slug of hooch, with behavior like that! I'm dealing with one who can't take "heck, no" for an answer, too. Well, actually, by this point, I'm mostly just avoiding him and ignoring his messages.
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:36:14 PM
That's a generic "we" on my post, danmck1. A woman falls out of love the same way a man does, and for different reasons. Sometimes she thinks she finds "something better" and so do men. Sometimes you've done or said something that sends up a red flag for her. She/he may catch you in one or more lies and figure the lies he/she knows about make them wonder about the ones they don't. It could be old baggage. It could be you got too close. If you only dated "about two months on and off", it doesn't sound like it ever had time to turn into love, in the first place. And there could be a few reasons for why she still has "the look of love": you don't make enough money but the sex is good, the sex isn't good enough, she has committment issues, her family had a talk with her and it went badly for you...If we can figure out what we don't want to repeat the "next" time, we're doing good. Sometimes they will tell us, and lots of times they won't. If we're lucky, we are able to figure it out.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Little Rock Singles Group
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:16:59 PM
Butterlover, look on your inbox screen, above the advertisement. There should be a green link for a multi-state float, and one for the July 19th dance. If you can't find it, let me know, because we need all the folks we can get.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 178 (view)
 
First Nations/Native American folks say hello!
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:37:34 PM
Still breathin' and hanging out in Little Rock. Osiyo, y'all.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Living Historians?
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:35:30 AM
Are there any other living historians in AR that would be interested in keeping in touch, here? I do Civil War events and buckskinning, and am interested in just about anything that has to do with history, nature, being outdoors when weather is nice.
I just wondered if there was anybody else in the state who's in POF who'd be interested in having our own thread to keep in touch, share event calendars, have get-togethers, etc. I know a couple of ladies from Early AR Reenactors' Association who are interested in getting together for sewing-bees (yeah, I'm serious) and chatting. And men are welcome, naturally, if there are any who are interested in getting such a group started in POF.
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Im new to Little rock area
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:29:48 AM
I'm interested in most any kind of get-togethers for folks around Little Rock. I'm considerably older than 30, though!
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why do men mislead??
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:21:17 AM
All the more reason to take our time. The rush is so we don't have time to figure out what's up. Same with telephone or internet solicitors who have to have your committment "today" or the "deal" will be gone forever. "Uh, can I call you back?" usually lets you know what's going on.
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
I wanna know are ALL of you guys out there just interested in SEX
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:15:34 AM
I have a male friend with whom I adore talking. He knits, is a buckskinnner, amateur photographer, father, son, good friend...and we talk about our lives and interests. We have talked briefly about sex, too. I will go out of my way to talk with him because he is so interesting and fun to talk to. He introduces me to his friends and we become a group of friends. I have never NOT enjoyed a conversation or instant message session with him and look forward to them, even though we lose track of time and talk longer than we have planned. I think the world of this man and would do anything I could for him because that's what friends do. And I admire him because of what he is. That's the kind of man I'd love to meet and build a love and relationship with. It's also the kind of man I'd make love with in a heartbeat, but instant sex isn't even in the ballpark.
Strangers just don't do it for me.
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Real women
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:03:12 AM
Naah, Glock. I'm as real as they come and I love nice guys. It's the foolish, immature young (or not-so young) things who don't get it.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is anyone really looking for happiness?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:59:07 AM
Maybe the problem is expecting "happiness" to come from someone else, rather than making the choice daily for ourselves? After we get used to doing that, we may find someone we are able to be happy with. Expecting someone to magically make us that way is a setup for disappointment, even disaster. If we can't be happy with ourselves, how are we going to be happy with someone else who isn't a carbon copy of us?
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
why does it suck trying to find someone decent in Arkansas?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:54:22 AM
Someone mentioned difficulty determining honesty from a profile and I think that's part of the problem. You have to take time to communicate with that person, and spend a good chunk of face-time with them before you can make that determination.
When I get the bum's rush from a man, red flags go up everywhere, and I expect it's the same way from men. IMHO, anyone who wants "instant" intimacy, or anything else to do with a relationship, is fooling themselves. Intimacy just isn't "instant" and it can't be. It takes time, consistent communication and honesty in that communication. Too many of us humans are looking for some quick "fix" and don't get that we have to fix ourselves before we are going to find someone worth making a long-term committment to.
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Can I get some advice?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:33:31 AM
Sounds like untreated bipolar disorder or paranoid schizophrenia. Then, it could be drug/alcohol-induced psychosis. Bottom line is, it ain't going to get any better. (I think I dated him a couple years ago, lol!).
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Little Rock Singles Group
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:25:28 AM
Count me in!
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
pof event
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:18:00 AM
Count me in on the picnic and pretty much anything else, ladyhawk!
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 114 (view)
 
HI, y'all--I'm Christy
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:14:16 AM
I moved to South LR in May, from Newport, which has nothing much of interest except 2 prisons and a place to dance on Saturday nights. I love to dance and do a lot of living history events as a participant/demonstrator. I'm trying to find places to dance (alcohol-free unless I have a date who isn't going to drink & drive) around Central AR.
I work in Wrightsville and like to get out and do things on the weekends, when I can. I've made a couple of girlfriends since I moved, and am looking forward to doing things with them, as well as dating gentlemen.
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
June 21st POF Party - Little Rock - Arkansas
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:59:54 AM
Well, I only recognized one fellow, who was with another lady. So, loving to dance more than I love to remain anonymous, I accosted a few kind gentlemen, a few of whom obliged me by getting me onto the dance floor. I missed out on the group picture-taking, though, because I was busy shooting pool in the other room. I've already signed up for the one July 19, though, and am hoping I get to dance more than a handful of times, this time. I will bring my knitting and plenty of quarters for the pool tables, though, just in case.
Also, one of the ladies I met there is planning a picnic at one of the parks and said to ask anybody I talk to, so I figured here's as good a place as any!
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
why does it suck trying to find someone decent in Arkansas?
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:14:26 PM
The sober, sane, intelligent ones in NE AR seem to all be taken! There are a lot of married ones lookin', some who just want to take a look, and that's it. So far, they're too young, too old, too sick, too silly, too set in their ways or don't leave their neighborhood and want you to come get them....Sometimes I wonder if I oughta move back to Texas...naw, can't make a decent living there, lol!
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
SOBRIETY
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:58:49 AM
If it feels good, we can get addicted to it. Being in love feels good. What many of us don't realize is that LOVE takes time and lots of work. One of the lies many of us humans believe is that love is supposed to come easy. We are surprised when it brings out our worst as well as our best. That's where we get to grow (individually and together). We confuse love with like, infatuation or lust, and think that's all there is. Then we never get to the real love part because we lost interest and don't have sense enough to do the work required to get the good stuff. Kinda like expecting payday before we go to work.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Sobriety, dating in recovery....
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:47:51 AM
Most of the time, you're right about a person's true colors coming out within the first month. Sometimes it takes me longer and I get more invested in the relationship to the point it really hurts me to lose a "friend" who is not good for me. It took me almost 2 years to figure out one fellow, since I only saw him occasionally and the rest of the time, we talked on the phone or computer. I still haven't seen him drinking, but I have found out there were some lies he told that were very important. Plus, I always notice things like complaining about not having enough money to pay bills but having a stash of alcohol. It seems "social" drinker can cover a wide degree of use and abuse.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Sobriety, dating in recovery....
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:51:44 AM
I've gotten to the point that sobriety is pretty much a prerequisite for me to date someone. The others just don't cut the mustard. Too boring, unaware, unspiritual, whatever. My sobriety date is Aug 1, 1984. I still go to meetings and still talk recovery. Heck, I even still work in a similar field. Best way of life I ever saw and saved my bacon!
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
SOBRIETY
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:44:31 AM
24 years in Recovery. Just found this thread today. Gotta bookmark it! I still go to meetings, worked as a Substance Abuse Counselor for many years. Still work in a similar field, and I STILL NEED MY MEETINGS, lol!
Christy
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 266 (view)
 
One third of older women date younger men
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:37:41 AM
I wouldn't base a relationship with a man my age (or older for that matter) solely on sex any more than I would one with a man younger. It's a consideration, but surely not the only foundation for a relationship with anyone of any age.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Small Gifts--Dreamwalker II
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:05:54 AM
Love is...


Love is a process
Not an event.
It's not something we fall into,
Accidentally, like a cow pie.
Love is a verb.
It requires work and choices.
It takes time and effort.
And it's often inconvenient.
Love overlooks flaws,
But isn't always enough.
It doesn't result
From physical touch,
But if hearts touch first,
It may grow from it.

2007 Christy Townsend
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 50 (view)
 
The Wisdom of an Older Woman
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:04:32 AM
We've learned a lot of things, not least of which is gratitude. And then, there's how to detach our feelings from other people and their behaviors. We may not find the man of our dreams, or even one worth having, but we have learned how to bloom where we are planted and make the best of a "bad" or lonely situation. Life goes on, with or without a lover or husband.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 150 (view)
 
First Nations/Native American folks say hello!
Posted: 5/8/2007 7:01:44 PM
May 19 - 20 Circle of Hope Ozark Pow Wow Salem, Ark. City Park
For info, www.amonsoquath.com, I think should get you there.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 207 (view)
 
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:18:40 PM
Personally, chemistry is important, yes, but respect and trust that comes with a relationship that's been built over some time are more important. I have not found many men in these groups who seem willing to invest the time to build something that would make sex with them interesting or attractive.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 106 (view)
 
First Nations/Native American folks say hello!
Posted: 12/10/2006 10:08:33 AM
Hey, Nish and Spudmama, got something for you guys to pray with me about. Could cost me my job if I stay directly involved in this issue. I was told to quit doing "native american therapy" after feathering a sister who is incarcerated. Apparently she told another NA inmate and someone (non-native) else had a problem with it. In the discussion it was linked also to "native american religion" and I was told I am to not do anything like that again. I don't want to start a conflict, but I do know that the Islamic religion is allowed to have a chaplain and conduct their ceremonies or whatever they're called. Feathering is such a little thing and is not anti-anything. I am allowed to use an occasional NA CD for centering with the inmates only BECAUSE I also use Celtic music as well. There is so much therapeutic stuff we are not allowed to do in prison because the inmates might use it in some criminal way (can't have crayons in the compound).
This sister's mother wanted to have a feather ceremony when she completes Therapeutic Community (loosely similar to old Cherokee Peace Villages), but I am not involved in that at all and don't have any contact with her mother. I do not want to feed the fires of prejudice, I do want to see NA inmates in this state have their civil rights as well as anyone else.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 160 (view)
 
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 10/9/2006 4:30:03 PM
Oh, heck, spudmama, it just keeps getting better and better as long as the man's worth a hoot. I can't imagine not noticing something as good as ...uh...I wouldn't mind it in the morning at all. Or noon, either, for that matter.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 116 (view)
 
How many people connect emotionally/spiritually with the outdoors
Posted: 10/9/2006 3:39:52 PM
About 3:00 Friday I realized I'd spent the day doing crisis intervention at work and although my body was there, my mind and spirit were somewhere off in the mountains. So I took off at 3:30 and was debating whether I really wanted to pitch a tent in the dark. Meanwhile, my granddaughter was steadily packing.
The campground I'd planned on staying at was full and we had to seek another. Set up by headlights, left the drip cloth off from over the tent so she and I could watch the stars until we went to sleep. She practiced the 3 chords she's learned on her guitar until about 11, and we "hit the hay". Next day we hiked near the West Summit trail. I am not able to climb much anymore, but we took the 1/2 mile trail and found a lovely Bald Cypress with a hole big enough to climb into the back (if you're smallish) and a hole in the front, so I took a picture of her face, grinning out of the hole, reminding me of the "Pocahontas" movie. She took one through the hole, of me peering in the back. We sat near the creek and talked, I told her a couple of stories from my childhood. We had a wonderful weekend and made it back in time to go dancing. There's nothing like a little exercise and getting back in touch with Mother to regain my center.
I'd not been feeling quite "myself" for a few days and needed this "camping fix" very badly.
 hawkdream
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 112 (view)
 
How many people connect emotionally/spiritually with the outdoors
Posted: 8/28/2006 4:56:32 PM
This human being needs her camping fix every so often. And some prayers are best danced around a crystal medicine wheel laid out on the earth.
 
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