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 Author Thread: Should she have paid for her share of meal ?
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Should she have paid for her share of meal ?
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:39:53 PM
I'm curious. Who suggested the pricey restaurant? And, why go for drinks after? Wasn't there beer/wine/cocktails at the restaurant?

The answers to the above questions don't really change my opinion. All your bellyaching about when a date ends (when one person no longer is interested in the other vs. the end of the evening) or how unenthusiastic her kiss was also doesn't affect my opinion. Even the fact that I believe a guest graciously provides for his/her guest isn't in play.

She offered to pay, and you refused. I don't care how tepid the offer was - it was out there. And, to claim that you were happy to pay is a gross distortion of the truth.

I'm in agreement with previous posters that your guest probably did not have her mind made up about a third date UNTIL after the check was paid. You did not have to pay 100% of the bill, but you felt obligated to. Your surliness at feeling like you had to pay the entire amount of the bill is most likely what did you in. I certainly don't like being made to feel like an obligation and no matter what date it is - first, second, third, one hundred and third - it's also going to be the last.

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Should she have paid for her share of meal ?
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:03:57 PM
OP said:

THE girl in question in my mind had stopped viewing me as a potential patner before the bill came out - so in effect the evening had stopped being a date at this point.
And therefore she should have paid her share.

Clearly other people believe the date ceases to be a date when both parties leave each others company at the end of the evening. IF that was my belief then yes i believe the guy shoudl pay the bill


Maybe your date wasn't aware of your definition of a date and believes the date ceases to be a date at the end of the evening. Did you share with her your description of a date and the fact you are happy to pay for her if it is a date, but clearly expect her to cough up her share if it is not a date?

On a similar note, as an accountant, have you ever invited potential clients out to lunch/drinks/dinner/strip club/whatever? Who pays then? Do you only pay if they decide to hire you but you insist they pay their way if they decide to go with someone else?

There is a high enough percentage of people who believe that standard etiquette is, the person doing the inviting is the host while the person who is invited is the guest. This applies to business, social, and dating situations. If you disagree with this interpretation, it is up to you communicate this so there are no misunderstandings.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Miss California
Posted: 4/21/2009 11:27:49 PM
It's never a screw-up to tell the truth. She gave her opinion even if it wasn't PC or the popular opinion and good for her. Even though she didn't win Miss USA, I'm betting she'll end up with more media exposure, endorsements, and speaking engagements than whoever it was that won.

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
College & Dating over 45
Posted: 4/18/2009 2:05:07 PM
If you meet someone that interests you, don't let the fact you have returned to school get in the way. I am also a full-time student, with classes in the mornings, afternoon, and one evening, along with an internship at a nearby hospital. But, as long as the other person is willing to work around your work and school schedule, it shouldn't be a problem. It just makes the time spent together that much sweeter!

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 60 (view)
 
You call this Dating?
Posted: 4/12/2009 12:43:44 PM
While I agree the guy probably manipulated the OP to pay, how did she and her "date" manage to get served and eat/drink their pizza and drinks before they were paid for? Pizza Hut is like all other fast food franchises and expects payment before food and drink is served/delivered/picked up.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 454 (view)
 
Standards of Morality
Posted: 11/2/2008 11:50:56 PM
My point is that individual rights should not be the foundation of morality. One needs a moral compass, a permanent set of principals to follow. (NOTE: Just because something is legal, doesn't make it moral ie swinging. And, just because something is illegal, doesn't make it immoral, such as riding a motor-cycle without a helmet)

For example: abortion. Morally speaking, America’s opinions range from abortion is always wrong, to abortion is ok if the mother’s life is in danger, to abortion is ok in cases of rape or incest, to abortion is ok to use as a form of birth control.

Another example: theft. When is it ok to steal and when isn’t it? If the cashier gives you back more change than he should, is that stealing? If you find a wallet full of cash on the street, is it stealing if you keep it? What if there is no name, address, or other way to identify the owner? Let’s say you are at a yard sale and they give you a paper bag and tell you everything you can fit in the bag is $1. You stuff it with books, a CD, a couple T shirts, and a pair of jeans with cash in the pocket. Is that stealing? How about stealing from your neighbor’s garden? Would it make a difference if you had lost your job and needed to feed your family?

Some of you scoff at fears that allowing gays to marry will open the doors to brothers marrying sisters, Joseph marrying not just Sue but also Sue’s sisters, niece, and cousin, and Uncle Henry marrying his goat. But, if we don’t have impermeable boundaries, the line keeps getting moved. Because each time we cross the line, it gets easier to justify moving it a
little

bit


further.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 435 (view)
 
Standards of Morality
Posted: 11/2/2008 7:40:15 PM
Ace said:



“…My view is that individual rights are the foundation of morality. If someone's behavior isn't going to harm anyone else, I figure it's none of my business. If it is likely to hurt someone else, or to violate their rights, I consider it immoral.”


I would bet a large number of people would essentially agree with Ace. As a fundamental rule of life, "as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else" is a pretty skimpy ethical principle.

I ask then, is it ok to cheat on a test? Do drugs? Tell a “white” lie? Keep cash we may find in the video box at the thrift store? Run a red light? For a 19-year old female to have consensual sex with a 15-year old boy? Curse when we’ve hit our thumb with a hammer? Refuse to take out the trash when asked by our parents? Ride a motorcycle without a helmet? Lust after the hot barista at Starbucks? Live at home, jobless and aimless, refusing to grow up when one is 25, able-bodied, and competent?

None of the things listed above “hurt” anyone else. But, all of them are either against the law and/or morally repugnant.

Rick Wade answers that better than I ever could:

"First, if there are no concrete ethical principles that apply across the board, how do we measure hurt? Some things are obvious. Swinging a bat in a roomful of people will have immediate and obvious negative consequences. But physical hurt isn't the only kind. We need to know what constitutes "hurt" in order to apply the "as long as" principle. So, one question to ask a person who touts this approach to life is, How do you decide whether something is hurtful or not? Without concrete ethical norms, the "as long as" rule is empty.

Second, this rule faces a problem similar to one faced by utilitarian ethics. Utilitarianism seeks to achieve the greatest good for the greatest number of people. But how can a person predict the outcome of an action? It's difficult to work out a greatest good calculus. The "as long as" rule doesn't even go as far as utilitarianism. The latter at least seeks the good of others (in principle, anyway). The former only seeks to avoid harming them. So the question becomes, How can you predict who will be hurt or how?...

...The "as long as" rule pushes personal liberty almost to the limit. It puts me at the center of the world. I can do whatever I want, and furthermore, you'd better not do anything that I find hurtful. I stated the rule in the first person in the opening paragraph ("I can do whatever I want") deliberately. For some reason we don't apply it as liberally to others as we do to ourselves!"

People need a permanent, grounded set of moral rules or laws by which to live.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
loss of libido in men
Posted: 11/1/2008 5:53:59 PM
Other responses here concern problems with the relationship. I'm going to assume that part is great. So, other causes for loss of libido in men range from the physical (cancer, depression, hypertension as examples) and medical (ED, medications) to the psychological (performance anxiety, stress) and social (problems with relationship, family, coworker). Easiest thing is to see a doctor to rule out any physical problems and go from there.

NOTE: I noticed your age but you did not mention his. On average, the male sex drive peaks in his early 20's at the LATEST while a female's peak is not for a couple decades later. So, his is declining while yours is increasing.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 332 (view)
 
Prop 8
Posted: 10/31/2008 10:13:19 AM
This posting is not for the out-spoken opponents that have made their position clear. It is for those who still have reservations about Prop 8, those who feel “yes, marriage IS between a man and a woman” but then feel guilty, uncomfortable or confused because they can’t explain or articulate why they feel that way. I’d like to explain why I am voting YES on Prop 8.

Proposition 8 is a total of 14 words: “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” When Adam was lonely and wanted a helpmate, God created Eve, not Steve (I know, a cliché). And, in that first week, God designed marriage. One reason God made marriage? To use man’s understanding of marriage to illustrate His relationship to man. There are numerous instances in the Bible where God calls the Church “The Bride of Christ,” demonstrating His unconditional love for us, just as God commands husbands to love their wives, while God commands wives to submit to their husbands, just as the church is subject to Christ. God made man and woman and made each gender to complement the other. And when God made marriage, He made marriage between a man and a woman. That is why I am voting YES on Prop 8.

Not only did God design marriage, God designed sex, specifically between ONE husband and ONE wife. It is not any accident that the male and female bodies “fit” so well together. Yes, God created marriage and He gave us sex, to be enjoyed frequently and heartily, within the framework of marriage, not just for procreation, but also for our pleasure. God loves us, so why would He not want us to enjoy the most intimate, satisfying, and pure love we can share with another?

But while God made marriage and sex, He also gave us rules or laws. Not because God is a killjoy, but because He loves us. He knows us better then we know ourselves and understands what may satisfy or please us today may eventually hurt or destroy us tomorrow. Examples: overeating. It tastes oh so good! but if one overeats continually, it results in obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart problems, esteem problems, etc. And, how many of you parents have pushed away an exploring, tiny hand from the hot stove, not because you get pleasure out of stifling curiosity but because you know it could result in pain and suffering from a burn. Well, God knows that not following His laws will eventually cause us grief and heartache.

One of God’s rules is for man and woman to remain pure. That means no sex until marriage. No sex outside of marriage. No sex with multiple partners. No sex with animals or children. And, no sex with the same gender. Why are we to remain pure? Simple! Because we are created in God’s image. And, God is pure.

Homosexuality is a sin. Premarital sex is a sin. Extramarital sex is a sin. Sin is sin. And, you know what? We all sin. But, sinners justifying their sin by passing laws that tell us sin is natural, a right, or necessary for our happiness does not make the sin any less so.

If you don’t believe there is a God, or believe that the Bible is truth, then of course my position will seem silly, stupid, bigoted, uneducated, or one of many other slurs. But for those who do know there is a God and that the Bible is His inspired Word, hopefully you will vote Yes on Prop 8 with a better understanding of why marriage should be only between a man and woman.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Holy god it's HOT out, how are you dealing?
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:57:29 PM
Looks like we are back to hellish temperatures!

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Most Insensitive Things Ever...
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:02:10 PM
I can live with the insensitivity of strangers. It's when someone who professes to love me makes a callous or unkind remark where I am bothered. My sister recently got married. Her husband's family does not live in California, but her new brother-in-law was passing through on his way to northern Cali. Our mom got to meet the new brother-in-law and when I asked my mom what he was like, she replied, "Big and fat, just like you."

On the other hand, I still remember once proudly pointing out a family portrait to my cousin. In it, was myself with my then-husband, and our first two young toddler children. I commented how good everyone looked in the photo, with the exception of my son, who looked "retarded." With horror, I looked over at my cousin, who had not one, but two Down's daughters. To her credit, she let the comment pass and said my son looked just fine. I still squirm with shame when I think back on that conversation.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Don't we always end up Settling?
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:34:20 AM
I'll settle...

for the one that I can't live without. I'll settle for him any day, any time, any where.

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Dumped by Silence? Again?
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:54:26 PM
I've also had this happen more times than it should. The interesting thing is that it (the dumped-by-silence aka complete and sudden disappearance off the planet earth) has NEVER happened with men I have met through what I will call "real life" situations i.e. through family or mutual friends or at work, school, church, volunteer groups, clubs, etc., just those that I "met" first online. And, I think it is because those that I meet initially through family or mutual friends, work, school, church, volunteer groups, clubs, etc. know that they CAN'T just disappear unless they also want to change family and friends, jobs, schools, churches, or drop out of the volunteer group or clubs, etc. So, he must actually do what is right and honest and break it off instead of performing a vanishing act. Just a theory.

Incidentally, I also don't believe this "dumping-by-silence" is necessarily a male attribute.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Scary
Posted: 9/2/2007 11:40:42 PM
Hum, now when I click on a man's profile, I get a link for a dating site for those with Herpes/Genital Warts. Talk about a turn off, FAST. I would much prefer the creepy guy show up when someone clicks on my profile over an ad for Dating-with-Diseases.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Holy god it's HOT out, how are you dealing?
Posted: 9/1/2007 7:40:31 PM
I'm dressed in an oversized T shirt and once an hour, jump into the shower to get the shirt wet. After wringing it out, I resume my place in front of the fan while trying to get some studying done. It works pretty good...for about 60 minutes. Then it's back into the shower for another soaking.

I SOOOO miss my old house with the swimming pool, especially on days like today.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Carl's Jr ad campaigns
Posted: 8/31/2007 2:20:51 PM
The first time I saw their "flat buns" commercial, I was intrigued enough to watch the entire ad, to see what the heck the product was, then I laughed hysterically. But, since I have a big bum, I think I would prefer a commercial endorsing full buns.

But either way, their commericals don't make me run out and drive to the nearest establishment.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Scary
Posted: 8/31/2007 2:16:54 PM
I'm with you Cooky, I'll be glad when those Halloween Horror Nights are over and the banner is gone. I much prefer the bbw, friendfinder, even the sugardaddy ads over that creepy looking guy.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Guys, why waste the time??
Posted: 8/21/2007 3:42:54 PM
OP, guess you'll never have an explanation. I had a similar frustrating experience with a guy I'll call Gary. We met in the beginning of Oct 04, went out once or twice a week until Christmas, where he made a big deal out of Christmas and my birthday. I saw him almost every day for the next couple weeks, as I was moving (and Gary drove a truck, lol.) After my move, we continued to see each other, about two - three times a week.

Zoom forward another five months. Gary is on the board of an organization that has a yearly event over Memorial Weekend. I do event planning and had a huge three-day event over the same weekend (but would be out of town for a week) and we were both disappointed that we would be attending our own event without the other. So, we made plans to spend the first Wednesday - Saturday in June together.

Well, the week before we were to go, the resort to where we had planned to spend time together contacted me to let me know there was a problem and we needed to reschedule or cancel. I let Gary know we needed to pick another vacation spot and he said ok, he would think of a place and get back to me.

I left for my event and I assume Gary went to his. I said "assume" because I never heard or saw Gary again.

I have to take some responsibility here - I never phoned Gary or contacted him during the week that I was gone, or after, but I still wonder what the heck happened.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
how to have a great first date/ first meeting
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:26:10 PM
I have three rules for a great first date/meeting:

1. Trust my instincts. (The only bad first dates/meetings I've had are those when I met the guy even though my gut was telling me no).
2. Be myself.
3. No expectations (with the exception of expecting to make a new friend).
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Poor planning on who's part?
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:06:54 PM
I wouldn't consider it poor planning in either scenario. In both instances, they had a specific plan and told it to you. You had the choice of refusal. However, I will agree they could have given you more advance notice, but again you could have refused to meet or insisted on the original plan.

I agree with Bill. Just relax (and doublecheck your pocketbook for mad $$).

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Why Can't Men Appreciate A Woman Telling Them The Truth??
Posted: 8/7/2007 2:02:11 PM
There are hundreds of threads asking why men/woman mislead someone by saying he/she will call (when he/she has no intention), why men/woman will not answer or return calls/texts, why there is delete/block instead of a reply, why there is not honesty. This is why. The rejector, whether men nor woman, do not want to be on the receiving end of insults (and worse) from the rejectee.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Why Can't Men Appreciate A Woman Telling Them The Truth??
Posted: 8/7/2007 1:37:56 PM
swansong, the post was not directed to you. It was to the gentleman (and woman) who are pointing out that the OP was giving mixed signals.

I understood her OT to be asking for opinions on why the guy would get upset and insulting simply because she told him she didn't want to chat. She gave him an honest explanation why.

I do not think her OT is a whine or rant, or about men in general.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Why Can't Men Appreciate A Woman Telling Them The Truth??
Posted: 8/7/2007 1:30:27 PM
am I correctly interpreting what some men are saying? If a woman sends mixed signals, it is acceptable to insult her when she then clears up any misinterpretations and he doesn't like the clarification?
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why Can't Men Appreciate A Woman Telling Them The Truth??
Posted: 8/7/2007 12:48:58 PM
tdh, mahagony_rush got it and explained it well, but in case you still don't get it. ..

The reason the OP mentioned her size is because the guy had said he isn't interested in bigger women, she knew that, yet the dude still lashed out at her when she politely declined to chat or email. She even gave an explanation of why she wasn't interested.

OP asked for opinions on why the guy would insult her when basically she was saving not only her time and energy but his.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why Can't Men Appreciate A Woman Telling Them The Truth??
Posted: 8/7/2007 12:28:54 PM
That's the point tdh and sexyfunguy, not only is the OP not interested in that kind of booty-call relationship, she recognized she did not have the body-type desired by this guy. Yet HE initiates contact again with her and when she is honest and says she doesn't want to waste the little amount of free time she has with someone who wants something completely different than what she wants and has to offer, he insults her. There was no reason for him to react that way.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Huntington Beach - 8/18/07 8pm at Martini Blues
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:35:57 PM
LabGirl,

I just had to remove myself from the sign-ups as I have one of those obligatory events that must be attended that same evening. I wanted to thank you (and co-host kjamesb) for your work putting this together but was unable to write you directly due to your email restrictions (hey, just what's wrong with us older women?).

I am sure this is going to be a fun night and wish I could be there.

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
SEND ONE OF OUR MEMBERS GET WELL WISHES
Posted: 7/1/2007 11:10:10 AM
Captain,

So glad to read you are up and typing. Your posts never fail to bring a smile to my face.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
The PERFECT MEAL
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:06:36 PM
I'm easy....Show up with a baked potato with lots of butter and a quart of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream and I'm yours!!
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The Best Part About Being single is..................
Posted: 6/22/2007 9:48:12 PM
Ice cream for breakfast.
Control of the remote.
No need for daily leg shaving.
Watching tv in bed as late as I want.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES! Top 100 Movies--Which Movies Did They Forget?
Posted: 6/22/2007 11:24:07 AM
I see several Cary Grant movies made the Top 100 but not my absolute favorite, Charade with Cary, Audrey Hepburn, Walter Matthau, George Kennedy, and James Coburn.

""I love you Adam-Alex-Peter-Brian, whoever you are. We can have lots of sons and name them all after you."
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 215 (view)
 
Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/27/2007 11:10:00 AM
Sometimes it's good to remember it's not the destination, but the journey...

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Chemistry! Share sensual secrets
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:57:11 PM
I'm glad you aren't asking what secrets I use on my man, because well, if everybody used them, they wouldn't work as good. However, since you really want to know what unusual thing gets me quivering, I'll share.

I love when he softly strokes and slowly caresses my fingers and hand, running his fingertips along the palm and back of my hand, opening my hand up and pressing his against mine, before entwining his fingers in mine. Gets me every time!
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How far would you go?
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:30:56 PM
In 1997, I flew from Los Angeles to Calgary, Alberta (approx 1600 miles) to meet a man in person after several months of chatting, emailing, and talking on the phone. We didn't "meet" here (or any other dating website for that matter), but at the site for a female Grammy-winning artist, who's website included a chatroom. I initially planned to stay for 10 days, but my visit was extended to three weeks. However, when I returned I didn't hear back from him in several days, than received a call from a friend of his. Joel had had an accident and was in a coma. Joel woke up and recovered enough to be released, but had many months still of therapy. We tried to keep in contact, but it was too difficult.

Since then, I had a potential romantic interest visit from Salina, Kansas (approx 1400 miles) for two weeks. I had a great time showing him around here and while nothing romantic came of it, we remain friends to this day.

Finally, the last man in whom I actually fell in love came here to So Calif to meet me from Ketchikan, Alaska (approx 2300 miles). After an intense three-day whirlwind romance, he returned home. He made several more trips out here but in discussions of a future together, both of us were reluctant to relocate - because each of us had children we did not wish to leave behind, nor uproot and move so far away from family and friends.

There are several internet friends I would love to meet and would definately go visit if I could.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
B*tch, b*tch, b*tch -- LOL!
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:58:14 PM
I'd love to be "lighter." Maybe I should complain more and could get out of the whole exercising thing.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Would anyone be interested in attending a Plentyoffish.com singles mingle party?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:09:05 PM
Actually, only the park get-together was this weekend, the blues club one is in March.

The Blue Cafe -Long Beach March 10, 2007
Posted: 2/2/2007 117 AM
Plenty of Fish --Get Together
Saturday March 10 The Blue Cafe, Long Beach 9PM --til
Blue Cafe http://www.thebluecafe.com
210 Promenade in Downtown Long Beach, California

You can go to URL below for info and sign up:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts6507139.aspx

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 45 (view)
 
South bay (Long Beach) Sat Feb 10Th/Party games Get-Together.
Posted: 2/10/2007 9:20:04 PM
I enjoyed meeting the fishies who were there when I arrived at 1:00. Scott, thanks for flagging me down when I passed. Hope someone plans another get-together soon.

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
South bay (Long Beach) Sat Feb 10Th/Party games Get-Together.
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:29:51 PM
doesn't look like very many people have removed him- or herself from attending. Still says 124 people who are going to show up!

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Inland Empire Singles Mixer (Upland,CA) Feb 16th, 2007
Posted: 2/8/2007 10:00:08 PM
Anyone going from the Long Beach area? I'm interested in going if I can catch a ride.

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Blue Cafe~+~ Long Beach ~+~ March 10 2007
Posted: 2/8/2007 9:37:20 PM

I do know there are some great restaurants in the general walking area and I am totally open for offers and suggestions on a restaurant we could all meet and have dinner before the show...7:30 ish?


I like the "dinner first" idea, has a place been suggested yet?

 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Sending winks' on other sites and their responses to my replies
Posted: 11/2/2006 12:44:15 PM
Jar,

If the wink sender is unable to reply back to your email because she is not a subscriber, have you given her an alternate way of contacting you? Since you can see your email has been read, maybe the problem is she can't respond without a different email address. Since most of the sites will edit out email addresses it catches, you'll have to get around that by spelling everything out or another creative way. IE, ask her to contact you at jarbarian at hotmale dot com

HTH
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why do women always try to redecorate a man’s home?
Posted: 10/31/2006 8:16:11 PM
Didn't you ever see How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? She redecorates so you'll break up with her.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Question for the ladies
Posted: 10/30/2006 5:30:39 PM
Your response is what I typically send when I'm not interested but want to be polite and acknowledge the sender taking time to send a wink/email. If he replies back with something more substantial, my interest could be piqued and if he doesn't, no big deal but at least he knows I read it and appreciate the wink/email.

Since their profiles were skimpy on details, your response may be valid but try asking some specific questions instead of a generic, "tell me more about you."
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Do you believe overweight women are unhappy women ?
Posted: 10/26/2006 7:24:44 PM
The original question could be compared to a similar question of "Do you believe blue-eyed men are stupid?" Just as happiness is not a quality of a specific body image, intelligence is not an attribute of a particular eye color.

However, happiness, just like intelligence, in often reflective on how we are treated and how we treat others. It's about perception. If, as a BBW, I allowed unkind and hurtful comments to take precedence over all my other wonderful qualities, I may be an unhappy woman. If parents, teachers, co-workers and others treated the original poster as a dim-witted imbecil, he may come to believe yes, he is indeed quite the village idiot.

There was a long-ago Oprah show where she opened with studies that proved brown-eyed people were smarter than blue-eyed people. After a couple of doctors and scientists explained data, observations, experiments, etc. blue-eyed audience members were subjected to pseudo-scientific explanations of their inferiority, culturally biased IQ tests and blatant discrimination. Callers and audience members shared their stories, backing up the premise that yes, brown-eyed people were more intelligent. Grown blue-eyed professionals become despondent and distracted, stumbling over the simplest commands at the end of the show. The brown-eyes were feeling smug and pretentious until the end of the taping where Oprah and her guests explained that intelligence is not connected with eye color and the point of the show was to show how accepting generalizations and prejudice can have devastating effects on people and society.

We should instead accept people how they are and emphasize the positive qualities instead of poking fun, making snide comments, or criticizing others who are different.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
How far have peopled traveled to meet a date
Posted: 10/5/2006 11:31:35 AM
In 1997, I flew from Los Angeles to Calgary, Alberta (approx 1600 miles) to meet a man in person after several months of chatting, emailing, and talking on the phone. We didn't "meet" here (or any other dating website for that matter), but at the website for a female Grammy-winning artist, who's website included a chatroom. I initially planned to stay for 10 days, but my visit was extended to three weeks. However, when I returned I didn't hear back from him in several days, than received a call from a friend of his. Joel had had an accident and was in a coma. Joel woke up and recovered enough to be released, but had many months still of therapy. We tried to keep in contact, but it was too difficult.

Since then, I had a potential romantic interest come from Salina, Kansas (approx 1400 miles) come to LA for two weeks. I had a great time showing him around here and while nothing romantic came of it, we remain friends to this day.

Finally, the last man in whom I actually fell in love came here to So Calif to meet me from Ketchikan, Alaska (approx 2300 miles). After an intense three-day whirlwind romance, he returned home. He made several more trips out here but in discussions of a future together, both of us were reluctant to relocate - because each of us had children we did not wish to leave behind, nor uproot and move so far from family and friends.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
taking the plunge
Posted: 9/30/2006 7:42:33 PM
Try saying something like, "I'm enjoying our conversation. How about we continue over a cup of coffee at Starbucks?" or "This has been fun but I really need to grab lunch. Care to join me?"
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Can we stop the Madness??
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:18:43 PM
It's all about perspective...I mean the glass isn't half empty, nor half full. It's 100% full - can be 50/50 liquid/air, 30/70 liquid/air, or 100% air. In other words, life can be full of joy or full of crap. It's all in how you look at things. Myself, I choose to emphasize the positive.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
what's going on in her head
Posted: 9/5/2006 7:35:24 PM
After the way she has treated you, why do you even want to be friends with her? I suspect you still have hopes to get back together with her. There is a great thread regarding second chances:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts3739515.aspx

Even if you don't want to get back with her, the above thread also has much useful information on getting over your hurt and getting on with your life.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what does she want?
Posted: 8/28/2006 10:34:44 PM
Sorry, but sounds like while she doesn't want anyone else to have you, she doesn't want you either. She will very likely leave you hoping indefinately.

Do yourself a favor and cut her lose. You are a special and unique person and deserve better.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 73 (view)
 
SoCal Beach Party - Aug 19th
Posted: 8/10/2006 4:21:04 PM
Anybody in the Long Beach area wanna carpool? My car has a gas leak and I don't want to drive it that far.
 ohsweetlaura
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
SOCAL meet and greet!!!
Posted: 7/19/2006 10:18:07 AM
Dave & Busters at the Spectrum would be fun.
 
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