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 Author Thread: Do men really care if a woman has an orgasm????
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Do men really care if a woman has an orgasm????
Posted: 11/18/2012 7:08:25 PM
I think they probably like to hear pleasure....even if she isn't having one.... idk
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2012 7:01:32 PM
Honestly, money pays the bills and spending money is for investing, and buying things you need and crave in a luxury way when you want to pamper or be pampered...and some people also participate in charity to help others.

I have developed great envy. But of who? The ladies who have fun in the city so to speak... wearing high heels with little fear, getting limo rides with their friends, dressed in party outfits complete with the mink coats. etc...with maybe @ $2.00 in their purse and no issues about it and are carefree and freespirited... get their drinks paid for [if they drink], and end up possibly having a relationship after meeting those men and partying in the city from lets say 10 pm to 4am....besides getting a ride home.. Boy are they lucky!
When it comes to me...I live in fear and bring those extra flat heels just in case I have to run so to speak for fear and security issues of being in a place away from home and its way past 12 am....
I think they have great strength, and such freedom....

Now as far as the man with the money is concerned....if you are looking for love and he happens to have wealth....if you feel intimidated by him....then you should tell him....He may actually sense this from you [and wants/needs you to make the initiative to bring it up....not knowing if its him or that you just don't like him is on his mind]..instead of breaking up with him first....I mean 3 months ???? It takes I think at least 6 months to 1 year to get to know someone better....if its the money that scares you....thats one thing....b ut if it is a power thing....that's something else....Feeling out of place is another problem.
You should talk to someone like a friend you trust...[if you fear discussing it with him ]

But if you have a hobby you enjoy then you should really open yourself up to it and you can refer to it as a crutch to stay grounded from all of the intimidation, because I think something you enjoy doing is worth talking about....

falling in love is something everyone knows happens almost instantaneously or spontaneously the lust feelings drive your heart.....which is a good thing....to look for but not everyone gets bitten by the fallin in love bug....'wanting this person and being attracted to him' he should complement. you .....it would be more stable....

If you still want this guy....then when you contact him or he you.....plan the date and take control of the conversation....to break the intimidation.....the friction that is going on.....from the money....and try to find ways from the interests you have to develop that bond...that you and he needs to feel....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 274 (view)
 
Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/5/2012 3:28:41 PM
If you are a girl....49? it could be the 'phase' related thing....every girl goes through or will go through....
If you are a guy [the reason I am saying this is because I just viewed this article, but did not see ur pof profile where gender is listed].....it could be the mid life thing.....
......remember 40 is the new 20.....for women....
......guys have an easier time getting dates..... no matter what age..

why r u lonely? is this why u r really depressed?
Is it a social wellness issue or mental wellness related?---like you can't get a date, just broke up with someone, or are you /your body lacking the things it needs to stay /look /feel happy

[1]
medically speaking:
you can get your blood checked for hormones, and the 'happy neurotransmitters'.....and don't have to take anything you believe is toxic/the chemicals alot are afraid of...natural stuff is available these days....if your hormones are a bit off ....taking supplements and neurotransmitter supplements can ease some of your sadness...

bodily speaking:
do you have the body of your dreams? are you comfortable with your body and appearance.....if not then do something about it.....

[2] social wellness speaking:
it would seem the concerns [1] would stunt social networking..and only make you stuck in this state of depression/loneliness....

Do your concerns [1] [2] have anything to do with [$]money?
It would seem that this would make anyone sad, depressed, and lonely...then budgeting would help...if you are a spender kind of person....[setting aside money for your social life]

If you have one friend.....that you can rely on....this often helps....sometimes it is better to have 1 friend then more than one enemy....so to speak.....

personal life/career-----better to keep them separate....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
my friends abandoned me since no longer third wheel
Posted: 5/5/2012 3:02:25 PM
my view....I will try to explain with one of my own personal experiences
Its not good being everyone's backboard for their problems....you come to the rescue....and when they're happy they abandon you ....but you did your best....to help them....and then they left you all beaten up so to speak...
hearing their complaints over and over...can actually influence your own views about realties....sometimes in a negative way....misery loves company....

Since you found someone, maybe them distancing themselves is positive for you....don't be a magnet for negative energy...even though you seemingly act as the positive energy for these people...if you were to go back to how it was....you might not miss it [hearing them complain ] afterall.....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Exercise and Arthritis
Posted: 4/23/2012 5:08:49 PM
The advice on getting a physical therapist, will help also...because they measure and monitor the pain, body and body movements that trigger the pain, then help you to learn and do specific exercises geered to strengthen those areas/so your body can function better.....when your doctor learns the body behavioral patterns....this can be helpful in better diagnosing everything...and/or your needed medical care [possibly to avoid any surgical intervention]....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Exercise and Arthritis
Posted: 4/23/2012 4:58:08 PM
Is it Genetic ----arthritis?
Is this condition genetic....does anyone in your family have it also?
Are you an athlete who used to be an athlete? and now inactive???
hydro therapy [aerobics in the water] supposedly helps....

Supplements:
Blonde hair/slim framed [is your hair naturally blonde?] women supposedly tend to have more bone issues than any other type....

What kind of vitamins/supplements are you taking?
If you were not a nutritionally conscious person at a young age....and were athletic....this may influence your bone health at a later age...because the bones stop growing at a certain point...and it is up to the person to take care of their bone health....[nutrition, exercise etc]
But also sometimes, excess /over supplementation of certain vitamins can actually cause arthritis like symptoms in the joints [elbows, shoulders, knees] such as too much of vit D

Medication:
Do you have a gastro related problem [acid in the stomach] which requires you to take a prescribed antacid such as nexium [i think its called nexium] omeprazole...? [something like that...] from what i've heard ....these can trigger bone problems [thinning of the bones]....

How is your posture? the posture how you carry yourself can also influence pressure points on your joints and bones.. slouching your shoulders can cause alot of back problems....
The bone spurs in your back- injury based or posture related---what triggered them?
[heel spurs can be caused by the type of shoe you wear, your weight and how you walk ( besides how much you walk/whatever with your feet]

The lower back pain....sometimes disturbances in internal organs...can cause that kind of pain...ex: the kidneys....when a person has prominant lower back pain... this can be an indication of something going on with the kidneys... or even with the female system....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
long distance relationships
Posted: 1/16/2012 4:28:49 AM
However, women are more emotionally prone and connected than physically /logically as men are. And naivete, and the innocense of her youth were enemies in this case not friends. The author of this thread was apparently not experiencing a 'pen-pal' relationship but rather a modern day love affair online....that ended in a broken heart....He was a user, literally....and maybe a user in a friendly kind of way... But if he reconnects with her....then whoop dee dooo.. she just might be happy again....But if he doesn't ....then move on.....while she is healing.....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 51 (view)
 
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/15/2012 4:46:50 PM
Okay, so we've all heard this cliche said over and over again. Does this mean that anyone and everyone in a relationship are better relationship-material than the anyone else who is single?

---------------------------------
I think this statement kind of means.....similarly to people who have worked a job for a few years....and understand the nature of what a normal work day entails...from 9 to 5 ...comparatively, that a person who has had a prior relationship would understand this plane....[does it mean they would be happier? is a whole different chapter]...but more able to go with the flow from dating scene experience and also would be more tolerant because of less surprises.... for them ....than someone who is less experienced...being good is not really [i dont think] the issue.....
How to get the experience is to get out more and observe....mingle....but also be on alert ......
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Is virginity and lack of sexual experience really so bad?
Posted: 1/15/2012 4:37:15 PM
Read a few juicey romance novels....this is what 'women' crave/want....its not really about virginity or lack of experience as much as it is the intensity of the passion and attention a lover gives and/or receives ....if you can 'act' one out.. or get an idea and manifest it relative to your life..[that is].....they probably won't think you were a virgin or lacked experience... even if you did....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
is it ok to be a virgin at 23?
Posted: 1/15/2012 4:10:13 PM
Ask yourself... Why you are still a virgin at 23....comparably to what 3/4 of the us? that were not virgins at this same tender age....

And what is holding you back from having sex?

If you feel awkward about this issue....just tell people you have someone...to get them off your back for awhile until you find the right person....they should be applauding you...not antagonizing you.....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Co-Dependence
Posted: 1/15/2012 3:53:27 PM
Age, maturity and level of experience.
If this person was a rebellious teen....what would be the advice....runaway to getaway?
But it doesn't seem she was the rebellious type and actually gets along? with her mother...the only difference being that she was now married....
However, her mother could possibly have stepped back or away a bit...and even suggested 'her to make her own decisions'...
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
long distance relationships
Posted: 1/15/2012 3:31:13 PM
In reference to a previous poster who was being rude...

I gather, this man she is 'addicted to' must be worth it. But if he was in a relationship already then he was being dishonest with someone so trusting and so young.

Apparently, she didn't build someone up in her mind, but he must have led her on.
After 3 years, why should she have to ask him to meet her?

Fall in love, it is obvious you don't really understand the concept.
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 450 (view)
 
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:14:35 PM
no offense, back in the day.....the 50's guys and girls didn't have sex before marriage....they courted....got engaged....married...then had sex....

So just the reference of dating a lady and should instead see a prosititute in the same paragraph.... suggests...that the man is not seeking marriage just a fun time...but has not yet conquested this latest woman.. who apparently seems to be classier than a prostititute..because of the non sex.

If he was so charming...etc...why is he still single...first of all...?.
Then why.... if she is a 'user'....and he is so traveled doesn't he see her as one....
-------------------
What is it about this woman ....that sex became such an issue?
If he is still with her, why is he still with her ? is a better question.....
Old world observer? .... Maybe needs to find a new fish....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Says you're attractive, but doesn't want to sleep with you
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:00:26 PM
Reserved......

Have you asked them "do you want to sleep with me or do you want to have sex?" and had them turn you down....

Test it....you don't have to act naughty...but dress sexy at least...
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 447 (view)
 
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:53:01 PM
This person this man who wines and dines.....this woman....for months....and is expecting sex but is not getting it.....is the woman a virgin? or inexperienced sexually or in life....? Why didn't he turn away from her and seek someone who would be more suitable if sex before marriage is a concern? Especially if marriage is not on his mind...
....Prosititutes are people who get paid to sexually please their clients....but don't necessarily get emotionally attached to them...or expect marriage...

Mysterious men scare some women....not knowing what to expect can diffuse the feelings of intimacy....and if she did give in....then what ...the mysteriousness would lead to ....a dangle on his belt for another conquest....leaving her scarred emotionally...

If sex before marriage is not the issue...what is?
Intimidating, controlling Sex appeal? or Just Skeered and afraid to get screwed?
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
long distance relationships
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:30:08 PM
So sad..I feel for you...a long distance relationship that was so promising....for 3 years....but you never met....just spoke with or texted via phone or online....

I think, You have to figure out if you want a boyfriend or are ready for one, if you don't have one. Why didn't you meet him yet....after 3 years...of talking?
Was he married or in a relationship with someone when you met him? And the intimate friendship was discreet...on his end....[but you possibly didn't see it that way?]
If so, then view him quote unquote breaking up with you as a blessing....not a life altering experience that has ruined your life....

Analyze what you like about him...the qualites....and when you are ready for a real boyfriend...[physical meeting] remember those things...

Also I have learned that men and women are very different....in respect to physical and emotional fulfillment....and can understand that you possibly craved the emotional bonding....with the talking...etc....but for him....what is the reason that he didnt make an effort to meet you physically...as far as sex and intimacy is concerned....women can get emotionally unwell and can go without the physical sex..if their emotional needs are being fulfilled ....but men if they are not having sex and its not a personal choice...can get physically unwell....
[So did he already have a girlfriend or intimate partner?]

One thing you can do, to break away...is what alot of people do....read junk magazines etc... about the unattainable famous people while they're healiing...[congratulations though if you get one...you're lucky].. .just be careful to not get hooked... if you don't......and then work on your life and get a better idea of of who or what you are looking for in a boyfriend...

I don't think you have an emotional addiction....you are just dealing with and healing from the pain....but if you still want to be with him....then make one last attempt to find out about this....relationship...at least why he broke it off so abruptly.[as the reason for your point of contact..do you know any of his friends?]......
and also if he really wanted to be with you...I would assume that he will contact you again....Don't lose hope just don't your sanity or dignity...lol

If it is officially ended....then as a previous poster mentioned....get off of the computer...and go out and meet people....this is more real even though not as ideal.......
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How do you confront your first date that they Stink! ???
Posted: 11/27/2011 12:43:19 PM
Smell is a big concern. If you smell good great, but if you smell stinky....it will make someone turn away from you. A reality is that the armpits, feet, privates and breath odor have distinct smells that are common. You always know if someone didn't freshen up and these are a given..

But also you smell like what you eat too....so if you're wondering why that person smelled like garlic all day, or the odor of coffee eminates from their breath....its because they eat garlic and drink coffee...and most anyone can spot out the smokers....

You can even test it yourself....eat 1 garlic clove for a week or even fish....by mid to end week....your perspiration will sweat the smell of garlic...or fish....literally...
but to everyone around you ....you're just a stinkpot....

Thank goodness for perfume and cologne, deodorant and mouth freshener/toothpaste and anything deodorant....and people who are tolerant or have high tolerance of it...they must have strength.....

Personally, I think if you really like someone though you should mention it quietly....and say that it's not that I don't like you I just want you to know and to smell fresh, or good....
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 51 (view)
 
avoiding controlling men
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:00:08 PM
Alot of counselors etc will probably say that every person is attracted to certain qualities...and that every person you meet that you are attracted to is because of this...so in the end you date the same person over and over again....and that to change this habit, you have to change yourself....

My belief, is that 'being reclusive' and 'transference ' are a big problem'. You may think you are being honest, kind, polite etc....and if you are....suddenly your date changes...but you don't know why....'rethink your past behaviors, conversations...etc....' what you say, do etc will influence what the person will say or do...in a transference dictated and controlled world....and if they become controlling ...this means to you that they feel offended and become defensive....but what you possibly don't realize is that you were only being reclusive...but they don't know you were reclusive....
I don't know if you are reclusive....but this is my opinion...
So the next date you have...just tell your date that you are more of a reclusive person not dictated by influence...and that the time you spend together...you want him to be himself...and you will be yourself.....then afterwards....go back to what they consider normal.... 'leave the world behind.....then go back to it'
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Why are women attracted to a man who's with another woman?
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:39:02 PM
I kind of believe that some people 'when a good opportunity is standing in front of them, they don't see it as one, until it is in someone else's arms requiring them to be objective and not introspective' so when she was with you she was being intro and unable to appreciate you or what she had /could have had until she was distanced away from you and more able to be objective.
Being in the box without a door: [there is a diff in being the gem in the box that is being viewed /analyzing everything including yourself while in the box or viewing and analyzing the gem in the box that everyone is viewing even yourself while standing outside of it]

But again, players are all over the place playing the cat and mouse game....did you play her...or lead her on....and then become distant....leaving her guessing...if it was a beginning or and ending....? If she was making such an effort to show she had an interest....girls don't mind being called if you say you will....and they will wait for that phone call...
 
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