Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Reconnecting with a ex after 10 years.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Reconnecting with a ex after 10 years.
Posted: 1/15/2019 6:12:28 AM
A *surprise* visit that lasts two weeks? No thank you. /shudder/
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 25 (view)
 
wow
Posted: 1/15/2019 3:56:02 AM
Based on your posting history and social media that you linked for the forum to see you come across as very immature and drama loving. Water seeks its own level.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Women can't hold conversations, that's why they're here
Posted: 1/8/2019 8:45:40 AM
^^^
+infinity for the (correct!) use of grok
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Can you block someone from seeing you at all?
Posted: 1/8/2019 4:13:06 AM
The only thing blocking does is prevent a person from messaging you. That's it. Nothing else.

Keep reading ^^ that ^^ until you understand it.

Your profile is still view-able. Your online status is still available. This goes for the blocker and the individual blocked.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Photos of ladies
Posted: 1/8/2019 3:57:57 AM

And for really crude BS, try to browse female profile pics on POF if you have a male friend who is a POF member who will let you see what he sees on POF


Really? Anyone can view any profiles. This is a free site. You don't need someone to "let you" see profiles. Just set the search parameters and view.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Do you think she had sex with her cousin?
Posted: 1/7/2019 1:38:16 AM

Am I overthinking?

No.
You are not thinking at all.

Sounds like a match made in heaven!
Mazel Tov!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Women can't hold conversations, that's why they're here
Posted: 1/5/2019 12:14:15 PM

In particular, I'll send a funny message to a girl

To you.

she'll remark on how funny it is

She is being polite.

I'll say something else funny

Again, to you.

and she'll again make some short remark on it being funny

Again, being polite. The shortness of the remark is your clue that she isn't interested.

I'm trying to be playful with a girl and half of them lack the social awareness to pick up on it

You think you are being playful. You lack the awareness to realize they are not interested. Trust me - a woman who is interested will banter back.

forcing me to start asking really boring questions because they don't know how to joke and have a good time

No one is forcing you to do anything.

It would seem to be you who does not know how to read cues. You are the common denominator. Either you consistently choose women who are not all that bright or you consistently choose women who are not interested. My guess would be that you write a decent first message. You seem harmless enough. They write back out of politeness hoping you will fade away when they don't show actual interest and you figure it out.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 1/5/2019 8:43:10 AM
^^^
I know a man who passed away over 5 years ago. I actually took his profile photo for him. His profile is still here. I have reported it and messaged CSR repeatedly. /shrug/
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Can you block someone from seeing you at all?
Posted: 1/4/2019 2:33:45 PM
^^^
The only thing blocking does is prevent a person from messaging you. That's it. Nothing else.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 48 (view)
 
We are not shopping in the same market.
Posted: 1/1/2019 11:35:46 AM
I am sure the OP will be able to pull young, attractive women as long as he keeps his wallet open. If that is how he chooses to value himself so be it.

As far as being able to attract age appropriate, conventionally attractive women? Well probably not so much. I look at him and see a man that looks older than my father wearing a shirt my dad wouldn't be allowed out of the house in! Of course looks are always in the eye of the beholder. Another woman may look at him and think he is all that and a bag of chips.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 67 (view)
 
*trigger* Have I broken it off too soon?
Posted: 12/28/2018 3:13:13 PM

As for some of the other BS in this thread, I have memory like an elephant. Anyone care to" dare me" to show some old history? ………………..No? ……………………..Yah, that's what I thought.




Been around these forums since '06. The irony in some of the comments is staggering. I guess those folks think we don't remember their profiles/comments of past.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 48 (view)
 
How do you cancel credit card payments
Posted: 12/26/2018 1:14:07 PM
^^^
Good gosh lady. You have just put way too much information in a public forum.

It is posts like hers that make me wish there was some sort of moderating going on. Just to save the ignorant from themselves.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 39 (view)
 
What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 12/26/2018 1:05:57 PM
^^^
Perhaps he was confused about how the math works. He filled in 51 (his stated age) + 20 (how old he wishes he is) = 71 (actual age).

He looks like he has at least a B cup himself. Oooo la la !!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What's Your DMV?
Posted: 12/25/2018 2:10:49 PM

Ms. Size Queen.

I do not think it means what you think it means.

If I can attract a 29-year-old Cuban hottie for a week, no woman is safe or out of my league.


Bless your heart OP.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Airing of Grievances
Posted: 12/20/2018 3:06:33 AM

Is this not an off topic thing?

All of this nonsense belongs in
Stories/creative writing
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum90.aspx

Also sick of song lyrics.

Art/Music
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum20.aspx
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 167 (view)
 
Getting blocked by someone for no apparent reason
Posted: 12/18/2018 3:35:37 PM

A woman wrote to me wishing a Merry Christmas, and when I tried to respond, I was unable due to being blocked. Confusing to say the least.

When a person blocks you all messages on both sides are removed. You would not have been able to read her message to you if you were blocked. It could have been a temporary glitch but that is doubtful.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 29 (view)
 
you are all blocked bah humbug
Posted: 12/17/2018 4:12:29 PM
There are lots of threads about blocking in the Suggestions/Help section.

There is a work around for blocking a person who has not messaged you but I won't post it. Suffice it to say that the average user won't know how to do it.

Being blocked and not meeting a person's set parameters are not the same thing. I see that a lot of men get the two confused.

The first post in the following thread explains blocking.
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts4910100.aspx
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How do you meet someone nice and genuine?
Posted: 12/15/2018 3:12:24 AM
^^^
Agreed.

Also a lot of people are not interested in getting involved with someone who is separated.

You need more than one photo and a much better photo at that.

Wouldn't a freelance writer know that freelance is one word and not two?

Rather than post in Ask a guy you might want to get a profile review. There is often much wisdom to be found in those threads.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Jesus ~ in laymans terms
Posted: 12/15/2018 1:17:20 AM
Did I click the wrong thing and end up on someone's social media page? Or really lame blog?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Turning down the bed, and whoever was in it
Posted: 12/14/2018 2:54:03 PM
^^^
And she somehow found the fountain of youth. She lost a whole year.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Ladies: please review my Profile
Posted: 12/12/2018 1:17:53 PM
Hmmmm well...
you smoke
are vague about your profession
won't say if you have a car
at *cough* 52 you don't know if you want children

I imagine the above cause some to click next. When people have a choice they choose the path of least resistance even if it is their own mind.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please Remove All My Posts / Topics
Posted: 12/8/2018 11:51:19 AM

*takes a breath*


Bless your heart OP.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Search by Username
Posted: 12/7/2018 11:50:30 AM
^^^
Settle down.

It's from the movie "We're the Millers". A character has it as a tattoo.

Here's a Youtube link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjkLKKgOMRY

There is also an old Milky Way commercial that spells it incorrectly. The person was making a joke.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Problem with minimum characters in first message
Posted: 12/3/2018 2:30:25 PM
As has been written about over and over and over in these very forums ---

Hey there :)

is the message you receive when a woman clicks the "show interest" button on your profile. It is like a wink on match. It is a flirt. It is a lazy way to make contact. No effort is required other than clicking. It isn't actually a message therefore it does not have to conform to the parameters you have set regarding minimum characters.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
POF showing you online when you aren't?
Posted: 12/1/2018 9:03:51 AM
^^^^
Yes.

Lots of threads about this subject.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Mom,maid or mat?
Posted: 11/30/2018 2:26:39 AM

When I had a walk in bath tub installed, they broke the plumbing.


If they broke it - they should fix it. Were they not licensed and insured?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 104 (view)
 
Fertility Matters
Posted: 11/30/2018 2:17:21 AM
^^^
POF was founded in 2003.
The stats have changed over the years. When it was still owned/operated by a Markus he would tweak things. He even participated in these forums to get feedback. That silly ambitious question was perhaps the last addition to the stats. Once the decision to sell to Match was made you saw everything become stagnant. It is clear that this and OK are just stepchildren for Match. They do the bare minimum to keep them up and somewhat running and keep the clicks (revenue) coming in.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How long did it take to get your divorce/separation finalized and move on with your life?
Posted: 11/28/2018 2:52:52 PM

When we had only been together a year and I went to visit my family with my daughter he told me that if I ever tried to take her and move away with her that he would make it the last thing I did.


And you made the decision to have two more children with him - making it three times more difficult to leave and be on your own.

You have stated that you had more children because you wanted more and wanted your first to have a sibling(s).

You made a selfish choice and put you all in danger. Period. End of. Make all the excuses you want but it is crystal clear.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 440 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 8:23:44 AM
^^^
Yes, and so what about the people who would be exposed to any bacteria/germs he would expose them to that could be life altering? His mission was more important than their health. Disgusting. I too am repulsed at that sort of thinking.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How long did it take to get your divorce/separation finalized and move on with your life?
Posted: 11/27/2018 3:26:01 AM

My oldest in particular is really upset by all this. She lashes out at me so much, angry because she thinks I'm the reason her dad left them and that I'm keeping her dad from them. She's been seeing a counsellor. I think she knows that her dad isn't great but because she's with me, she focusses her anger on me.

You ARE the reason he left. By your own design. You have said in this forum that you more or less drove him to have an affair so he would leave. You have said it more than once. It was what you wanted. You made it happen. You and your children are reaping what you sowed - from beginning to end.

Now you say you are jealous of his skinny new girlfriend. You are jealous and angry about his situation.

Your children saw your behavior when you wanted the separation. They see your behavior now. Of course they are angry. Of course they are confused. They can get all the therapy in the world but if they come home to such dysfunction they have little chance of being less messed up than you are.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What responsibilities should teens have and expected to do.
Posted: 11/27/2018 3:04:12 AM
My sons were expected to keep their rooms neatish. Normal expectations like put your clean clothes away, use a dish - wash a dish, trash is full? take it out. Just things a person should naturally do for themselves rather than wait for another person to do them. They did not have a lot of so called chores outside of those sorts of things.

School was my number one concern. It was their job. They were all taking full loads of AP classes and sometimes additional FLVS (online) classes in addition to regular school. School first, everything else second. School is like a full time job these days.

They also had lots of extracurricular commitments. Some were sports in school and some were out of school. They played travel soccer which was a minimum of four days a week. Practices were an hour or more from home. They were all involved in things like National Honor Society and student government, to name just two. Florida has the Bright Futures program which requires set numbers of community service hours. They were often volunteering here, there, everywhere.

They were very busy. My middle son worked in a grocery store one summer but had to quit when school started again. I had a small business and my youngest worked for me all through high school. If there was a school conflict I just got someone to fill in for him. I doubt he could have worked a regular job during the school year with so much going on.

I also wanted them to have time for normal teenage things. Friends, girlfriends, etc.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How long did it take to get your divorce/separation finalized and move on with your life?
Posted: 11/26/2018 1:44:43 AM
^^^
She complains about how much the lawyer cost. Lawyer gives her professional advice/opinion. She ignores it. She goes against it. She complains. She makes excuses. Rinse. Repeat.

Go ahead and ignore the custody order put in place. Set a precedence. Then wonder why he wins in he future.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Fun things to do on first major holiday break with boyfriend?
Posted: 11/25/2018 3:20:30 AM
^^^
IF and that is a very big if the OP is to be believed - she is mentally disabled, physically disabled, unable to live alone, unable to work. Sometimes heavily medicated but at other times doesn't take anything. I am not sure if she can or does drive. Perhaps it is not a necessity where she lives. She says she is in school. If she is unable to work or live alone now I don't know how having a degree will change those circumstances. She will not magically be able to work or live on her own. Oh, but she can have sex for hours and hours a day/night in her small, crowded residence. That is if the OP is to be believed.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Plenty of Pervs
Posted: 11/22/2018 12:29:41 PM
^^^
His profile is comedic gold.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 385 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/21/2018 2:10:53 AM

Someone's true colors just came shining through!

He has been showing it all along. When he used the word faggots in a post it was a pretty clear indication. I don't care what the context was. He used it as a derogatory term.

Thankfully, younger women and men of all ages think it comical. We can picture an old, fat woman with a chip on her shoulder tormenting fast food workers. They call that self respect. We call it obnoxious.

I am younger than you are and definitely not fat. You are the one with the chip on your shoulder. You show it in many of your posts. You seem angry on top of being quite obnoxious yourself.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Idiots on POF
Posted: 11/21/2018 1:56:20 AM
You see people post disclaimers like this in different places on social media. People are too stupid to realize they just make them look like idiots. When you sign up for a site there is a TOS and it supersedes all of these silly things that people put on their social media. Whenever you see one you know the person isn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier. /shrug/ as good a reason as any to click next
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/20/2018 3:02:50 AM
^^^
Yup. I won't hazard a guess on what you should do unless I know how it sorted out the first time around.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Fun things to do on first major holiday break with boyfriend?
Posted: 11/19/2018 8:37:08 AM
^^^^
Stop making sense!!!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
wow I paid so I can get this message
Posted: 11/19/2018 1:24:27 AM
Rules about copy and paste and number of new contacts in a day have been in place since I joined way back in '06. They are probably listed in the TOS. Those aren't new rules by a long shot and did not show up when the option to pay for features showed up.

I could look at users who meet my basic parameters (age, distance) on ALL the dating sites and not find 55 men I was interested in. I am always amazed by men who say they send hundreds of messages. Are you genuinely that interested in meeting/dating every single one of those women?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 357 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/19/2018 1:15:47 AM
^^^
I was younger than July and also had three children. I didn't have any education to rely on or family to help me. People make choices. They wallow in self pity and take those around them down with them or they choose to not only survive but flourish.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 287 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/14/2018 9:51:44 AM
^^^^
July said:

I never once communicated those feelings for him because he made it clear from the outset that he only wanted to be fwb and did not want or was looking for a relationship.


It sounds like being a fb was the plan from the beginning. He set the boundaries. She went along with them.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 182 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 11/13/2018 7:44:59 PM

i'm really rusty from years of not hitting on women, but...i thot i taw a flirt going on :)

Not in any size, shape, or form. I was merely offering to give insight since I fit the description and doubt that many other women participating in our little forum do.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 173 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 11/13/2018 2:55:27 AM

This had me thinking... after I graduated from college, all the women I've slept with were college graduates. I wonder if highschool dropouts are significantly different..

I am a high school dropout and would be happy to sate your curiosity.

Significantly different in what ways? Are you asking if I only date others with my same level of education? No. It is rather the opposite. I tend to attract men who have graduate degrees and beyond. /shrug/
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 242 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/7/2018 2:40:04 PM

True, you don't know how he feels but you do know that he has more consideration for you than anyone else. You get older every day. You may never have a better chance than you do right now. Close on him or regret it forever.

She has stated pretty clearly how he told her he feels.

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/16725387datingPostpage2.aspx


I am kind of at a crossroads. I'm still hooking up casually with the one guy occasionally and sharing a few texts every couple days (which we both initiate) but I think I may be losing interest because that's all it is. For the first few months I thought about him constantly and liked him a lot and fantasized about being a couple even though I knew we could only be friends. I never once communicated those feelings for him because he made it clear from the outset that he only wanted to be fwb and did not want or was looking for a relationship. About two weeks ago it suddenly changed for me in my head. Its like a switch flipped. I accepted that we will never be anything more than casual and now I don't have the same interest in our conversations anymore, I fully see him as just a friend now instead of daydreaming about him as a romantic interest. I think I finally just accepted it is just sex and that eventually, probably in the near future I will cease this. I think in the next couple of weeks I will just send him a friend request on Facebook and tell him that I think we should just stay friends but stop sleeping together.

I have learned that I don't really want sex without the romance. I want to date. So casual doesn't really work for me.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 164 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/3/2018 2:31:01 AM
Meh
Honestly this does not sound like a FWB situation. They are not grabbing a drink/meal and then heading home. They are not going to a movie and then going to his place. They are not hanging out with their group of friends and then pairing off alone to be intimate. In one post she was "seeing" him but in another post talked about wanting to be able to go out in public. I have never had a FWB who hid me away. This guy is sleeping with other women and actively looking for a relationship (with someone who is not her). It sounds like all their friend stuff is pillow talk for the most part. She is attached and he clearly is not in any way. I don't see how this could possibly be a positive thing for a person who clearly needs professional help. She will just end up hurting and thinking it is what she deserves. I imagine there is already pain surrounding this situation for her - since she wants more and knows it isn't happening. Those moments of pleasure just don't seem worth the trade off.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Words females can use but men cannot in chat
Posted: 11/2/2018 6:24:06 PM
Cocktail is usually censored in messages for everyone. Lots of words are. Gender doesn't matter. The filters are purposely vague. If you do a thread search you will see that many hove commented in regards to this.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Interesting things people say in their profile
Posted: 11/1/2018 8:31:46 AM

Admins, feel free to delete this thread.

Admins?

 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why Office Air Conditioning is Sexist
Posted: 11/1/2018 2:42:29 AM
I am borderline anemic. I am always cold. It is a joke among those who are close to me. I often wear a thermal under my work shirt (I wear a uniform at work) and I always have my work cardigan or jacket on. My coworkers will be burning up and have the thermostat set low. I know my single needs don't outweigh their many needs so I plan ahead and bundle up. My office is tiny and when I come in early in the mornings it is often freezing because the last person in there had the AC blasting. I just turn up the thermostat and go about my business. /shrug/
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Time wasters
Posted: 11/1/2018 2:33:31 AM

Some women don't want to text or talk too much, just meet immediately.
I think they are called DTF , or something like that.

OR
They are the polar opposite of time wasters. I always wanted to meet and meet fast. That definitely did not mean that I was a sure thing or DTF. It meant that I wanted to cut to the "real life" chase. No BS please.

If a guy dragged his feet - next. The few times that I did allow a man to drag it out beyond my preferences his "truths" started coming to light. A little embellishment here, a tiny little lie there. Those sorts of people are hoping to hook you emotionally so that you will overlook anything they have been misleading about when you finally meet. Doesn't matter if it is age, weight, height, children, job, marital status, what have you. They believe they are so charming that you will just find them irresistible and not care about who they really are. Unfortunately this often works for them --- I mean, that is why they do it --- gullible people, those with low self esteem, the desperate, those who are being misleading themselves --- will fall for it.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 19 (view)
 
POF Waste Of Time For The Guys
Posted: 10/30/2018 9:37:29 AM

If you don't look good (in shape, at least reasonably, dress well, comb your hair, speak nicely) don't expect to get responses. It isn't what you say, it is how you look. That's why it's a photo post site.

Then do something about it. Get in better shape. Dress better. Style your hair. Take more flattering photos.

Those are easy things to do. Instead of whining about the site make self improvements.
 
Show ALL Forums