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 Author Thread: Stuck at the first hurdle? surely i wasn't too pushy
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Stuck at the first hurdle? surely i wasn't too pushy
Posted: 12/6/2010 6:21:53 AM
When meeting people online, a lot of people are meeting and talking to several all at once. It is a possibility that she was enjoying someone else a little more. Or she jus flaked. It happens to a lot of people online. A few I was emailing and chatting with back and forth flaked after I gave them my number. Some guys I have made friends with online have said they have met girls who just wanted to chat or email regardless of what their intent was on their profile.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Opinions needed
Posted: 12/6/2010 6:12:16 AM
I would have a problem with it, also, OP. Clubs are a place for hooking up. I don't do clubs and don't wish to have a man who does.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
My ex's fiancee wants advice from me!
Posted: 12/2/2010 6:24:37 AM
If your gut instinct is to not involve yourself, don't involve yourself. If it were me, however, I would tell her everything. I have been in that position before and have told all about the guy and his secrets. Some of it was because I was being vindictive. He deserved it.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 98 (view)
 
How to play a player?
Posted: 10/27/2010 11:10:14 AM
"Here's the deal. You can't play a player. They are trophy hunters looking for the easy kill. But, if you want to give it a shot, play it the way they do.
1. Be charming, attentive, and completely amusing while you are with him.
2. Never let him see you looking anything less than spectacular.
3. Do not always be available, nor should you explain your absences.
4. Don't put out, but make it obvious you will under the right circumstances.
5. Learn the fine art of teasing.
6. Make him believe he is the most wonderful man you have ever known, or ever will know. Stroke his ego.
7. When he is at your home, have a friend call, so you can mumble something into the phone. Then smile, shrug your shoulders, and explain it's an old boyfriend you just can't get rid of.
8. Also, when he is at your home, have a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting in an obvious place with no card. If he asks about them, look sheepish.
9. No matter what he says, pretend it is the most intelligent, funny, or profound thing you have ever heard.
10. Do not immediately answer every phone call or email.
11. Even if you have to make one up, have an interesting life that you can drop tidbits about in conversations.
12. Never probe or or try to discover if he is seeing anyone else. Pretend you believe all his lies.
13. Never find fault with a single thing he does.
14.Be a few minutes late meeting him, then apologize with all your heart.
15. This is the big one. Do not become emotionally involved with him. The minute you do, you lose.

Good luck, you'll need it. "

This is excellent advice.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
SMOKING
Posted: 10/20/2010 11:49:08 AM
Where can you get electronic cigarettes?
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 10/20/2010 9:33:19 AM
Thanks, Tina. I have decided to wait a few months. We are already two months into it. By Thanksgiving we will be crossing that bridge. I am confident now that he is genuine for many reasons. One day it just hit me and I knew he was really sincere.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
SMOKING
Posted: 10/20/2010 7:46:40 AM
I'm curious as to how the electronic cigarettes taste? Do you like them? How long have you been smoking them?

I would say you smoke them in your profile.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
I don't want to be mean, but ...
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:42:04 AM
"This is one pro stalker

Yup...cause stalkers...they give up so very easily. A lousy pair of boots on the porch and he rides his bicycle all the way there to leave a freakin' note???
Please.
Something extremely "fishy" about this entire scenario!"

I second that. Fishy.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 10/19/2010 7:13:40 AM
Thanks for all of your comments. We became an item on Sunday. I'm sure I made the right decision. I'm really beginning to trust that he is sincere about being with me for me. I will be meeting his parents next. Then he will meet my mom on Thanksgiving.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
They like you.. but not as much as you like them
Posted: 10/13/2010 10:19:57 AM
After five dates, you should know if there is relationship potential. Although five dates for me would be over the span of five weeks.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
They like you.. but not as much as you like them
Posted: 10/13/2010 10:12:13 AM
"Im in exactly the same position today... been on 4 dates with a guy who seems to genuinly be 'into me' . I was into him too but i probably havent shown it much yet. Ive been hurt often by men and, i now take my time really getting to know someone . He suggested at the weekend we both came off the site and get to know each other. Had one nice date since and then he text me this morning, saying ive really enjoyed our dates but there's not the connection that im looking for ???

Personally i think he was looking for too much too soon and because i was maybe playing it a bit cool he's backed off thinking im not as interested as he is.

Cant win sometimes !! "

Kissablebabe, I don't think this was your fault. I think this guy was trying to move too fast to get what he wanted. If you needed to take it more slowly, if he were there for the right reasons, he would have let you lead at your pace.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 10/4/2010 6:27:02 AM
Thanks, bgrumling. I believe you're right. This man wants to move fast but I'm going to keep it slow. He met my dad and they hit it off. So, that was nice. But, just because my dad really likes him does not mean I'm going to pick up speed. I'll just take it one step at a time.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 9/29/2010 9:29:40 AM
Sabrosura, you're probably right about meeting him with my kid but he has two boys and was so anxious to meet me that we agreed to meet up at the arcade with the boys. I don't care if I'm banned. Maybe I went too far with the last remark but Monkey had it coming. Thank you all for your advice. It is much appreciated.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 9/29/2010 7:16:03 AM
Special needs? Whatever do you mean by that, Funkymonkee? In the US, that means you are calling me a head case. If so, you should be ashamed of using this site to attack people. Also, I'm far from a frumpy christian chick, you a**hole. And don't talk about my family, you F*ggot!
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 9/29/2010 7:07:46 AM
*there

Also, I have already had a profile review some months back and everyone gave me the thumbs up.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 9/29/2010 7:05:50 AM
^^ I kissed him on the second date. On our first date at the arcade, we had our sons their and I feel it is inappropriate to kiss around the kids. It is something how you make it seem like I have done something wrong. I was given advice about waiting until after the fifth date to talk about a relationship, however it would be months of a relationship before sex would be on the menu.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 500 (view)
 
Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/28/2010 8:08:17 AM
I just turned 31 in August and have never been married.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 9/28/2010 7:01:02 AM
Forumfishie, thanks for your comment. I really think you're right about this guy. He said he feels like he loves me and I asked why and he said because of the way I put my tongue in his mouth! I thought he would say it was because of my personality or something.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
When is the right time to become an item?
Posted: 9/27/2010 7:26:20 AM
I have been talking with a guy over the phone who I feel is moving too fast. We had one face to face date and we have been talking for a little less than a month. He says he wants to be my boyfriend and he feels like he loves me. I figured after the fifth date we could begin talking about a relationship and him coming over to visit. He also was talking about sex way too soon but I told him it made me uncomfortable. He still finds a way to bring it up every now and thn, though. Do you think he is too fast? Do you think he is after one thing? Any advice is appreciated.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Percentage men pay for dates within the first year...
Posted: 8/23/2010 8:04:49 AM
Out of the 15 guys I've dated in the past year, only one tried to stick me with the bill at the end of the date. We paid 50/50 every time we met to do something. It doesn't bother me to pay my way but I prefer if someone asks me out, that he pays for the date.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
What is a loser anyways?
Posted: 8/23/2010 6:47:59 AM
A loser is someone with no ambition and is lazy. Someone who is taken care of by others instead of being independent and a go-getter.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 576 (view)
 
Would you date someone who is on welfare?
Posted: 7/22/2010 10:35:35 AM
Also, some of these people do have a means of financial support. They have savings. When you apply for welfare, if you have a savings you will not get assistance. Two very different entitlement programs.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 575 (view)
 
Would you date someone who is on welfare?
Posted: 7/22/2010 10:30:18 AM
(Both are financial aid paid for by taxes to help people who have no other means of financial support. You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig.)

I already explained to you that is an insurance. Only someone who is ignorant would assume that unemployment benefits is welfare. Like Vanilli said, the company pays a portion and the state pays a portion with tax payer dollars. When tax payers get laid off or fired for no fault of their own, they can collect. It is not welfare. It is insurance that these people have paid into. It is an American safety net for working people.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Relationships/Dating - What works in every other aspect of life doesn't work here
Posted: 7/21/2010 11:59:01 AM
(If you show too much interest in another person right away, you will be immediately rejected with little hope of recovery.)

This does not work with me. The more interest a man shows, the more interest I have for him.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Klonopin, xanax, ambien...does anyone think that this is way too much??
Posted: 7/21/2010 11:25:02 AM
OP,

I hope you can convince your girlfriend to get some help for her addictions. Please, don't let it affect you negatively. It if becomes too much and she is not getting help, you should leave.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 983 (view)
 
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 7/21/2010 11:15:18 AM
Nope. Not a good thing.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 572 (view)
 
Would you date someone who is on welfare?
Posted: 7/21/2010 10:45:48 AM
(Technically, collecting unemployment is welfare, so yes, I would date someone who is on welfare. I would not, however, date someone who doesn't make the effort to get off the welfare system.)

Unemployment is not welfare. It is insurance that people who work pay into so, should they become jobless, they can collect benefits.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 235 (view)
 
Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 7/21/2010 10:27:07 AM
I have three friends who are bipolar. Two of them are bipolar II which means they hallucinate and have delusions, much like a schizophrenic. One hallucinates every single day. He sees things that are not there. He has been told by his therapist that he can no longer work. My other bipolar friend is constantly in and out of the hospital for her mental illness. She is extremely withdrawn. She also, can not work. The third friend is bipolar and cuts herself and refuses treatment. I can no longer allow her to be part of my life because she refuses help. Every one who has this illness is different. Perhaps, I just know the severe cases. I would be a friend but not in a dating relationship. I have been there and done that with the guy I mentioned above. Bipolar can be very dibilitating. Maybe, if I meet someone with it that wasn't severely affected by the illness while on med's but I have not met such a person, as of yet.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Klonopin, xanax, ambien...does anyone think that this is way too much??
Posted: 7/19/2010 7:59:53 AM
If she is up and down a lot, she may have a mood disorder. Maybe bipolar. I don't suggest you go to the doctor with her. She may feel really uncomfortable with that. I would ask what her diagnosis is. If she is in treatment with a psychiatrist, I would trust that the psychiatrist knows what he/ she is doing prescribing these med's together. When I first read this, I did not think this woman is an abuser, but that can be the case. Find out if she is treating with a psychiatrist because family doctors can not prescribe these types of med's. At least not in my state.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 374 (view)
 
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/19/2010 6:48:07 AM
(If someone, at any age, has all their ducks in a row but they are single, it can be they are not meeting the right potential matches.

It gets harder to find someone as time passes so from a pure numbers perspective, the odds are against you. There have a been a lot of times I've turned down a date or two because I could honestly say there was no real connection between us. And I think serial dating or going out to kill your boredom is silly.

I believe as you grow into adulthood, you become more attached to the people you are with. But if you acheve such growth on your own, it just means you are strong enough to stand on your own.

In the end, not everyone was meant to be with a partner.)

I agree, Jersey.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
moving on after a loss
Posted: 7/13/2010 6:29:18 AM
(Sorry, but it's a fair question to wonder why someone who was married 5 years created a profile on a dating site two years ago.
It's also reasonable to wonder why someone who lost his wife two months ago is already actively seeking dates. (That...I find unconscionable)
Nothing "horrid" about wondering about it.)

I agree. Unconscionable.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
moving on after a loss
Posted: 7/13/2010 6:18:29 AM
(I too suspect a troll... But if not, then focus mainly on helping your kids grow and develop-)

Why do you always suspect a troll?? LOL
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
moving on after a loss
Posted: 7/12/2010 6:24:34 AM
I feel really sorry for your wife. Lord rest her soul. I hope she didn't know you were on a dating website while you two were together. And after two months, you want to start another woman?? This proves you never loved her. I don't think you are a good match for anyone. You are cold and heartless.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Should I just leave it be?
Posted: 7/8/2010 10:18:00 AM
Contact her.

Messages this short may not be posted
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 371 (view)
 
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/8/2010 9:24:49 AM
kow626,

I hear your opinions but I will have to disagree. There are many beautiful women who are single and not problematic. I know many of them.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 103 (view)
 
What age should parents stop showering with their kids?
Posted: 7/8/2010 8:34:12 AM
I have never bathed with my son. He is six. He takes a bath by himself. I take my shower while he is playing with his video games or watching t.v.

If my son walks in on me while I'm naked, I tell him to leave. It is inappropriate.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 318 (view)
 
Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/16/2010 6:07:02 AM
(Darknight, I just checked out Craigslist for your area to make sure I wasn't sounding ridiculous, and there seemed to be a huge number of apartments for $500-$600 a month or cheaper, along with a bunch of entry level-type jobs in different fields. If you're making just $1000 a month you're easily making enough)

I don't agree. No one could afford rent when making $1,000 a month. He would need to be making around $17 an hour to afford rent, utilities, insurance, food, transportation, clothes.. and he would still be broke after meeting all of his obligations.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Divorce over finances
Posted: 6/8/2010 8:38:52 AM
(I am sorry for your losses, I really am.)

I'm sorry, too. It has to be aweful to lose everything. I think your wife was wrong about keeping the business open for the children. In this economy, however, you may still have eventually gone through all of the money before either of you found job to support yourselves. 85% of people who have been looking for work over the past two or more years have not been able to find one. I personally, would not divorce over this situation. It is just a tough economy. And I'm sure the economy has played a role in your loses. What kind of business was it?
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
So now what?
Posted: 6/8/2010 8:10:38 AM
Railrunner, have you talked to the woman since you moved?
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
A Man's Truest Worth
Posted: 6/8/2010 7:07:37 AM
Run. He and his mother want to use you for your credit. He is a loser. Never be with a man who can not provide for himself. How will he be able to provide for you and a family?
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
How Much Fighting is Too Much?
Posted: 6/7/2010 12:20:05 PM
If you guys can't scrape together the money for an air conditioner, how are you going to survive financially in the long run? Living check to check is not a pretty thing. Financial troubles are bad for a relationship. Also, the daughter should be a priority in the house. You really need to stop being selfish and putting your desires before her needs. Stop pushing buttons. Being argumentative will get you no where in the long run.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 367 (view)
 
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/7/2010 9:31:10 AM
kow626, you're entitled to your opinion but the real world does not work like you think it should. I know many attractive women who are single. Not everyone who is attractive and single is problematic. I know that from my own experiences. And, believe it or not 70% of black women in the US are single. There are not many available blcak men because many of them are in prison. Many black women who only date black men don't have many prospects. Those are facts. You can google it if you don't believe it.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Freakish to be over 30 and never have had a boyfriend?
Posted: 6/7/2010 9:12:31 AM
OP, I wouldn't call it freakish, but it is a bit odd to become 32 years old and have never had a boyfriend. I personally think you should not tell anyone you're dating this. If your going to get into a serious relationship, I would tell him when you get to that point where you become exclusive. Don't expect to marry your first boyfriend. It could happen but generally, you date and have boyfriends before you meet and fall in love with the person you spend your life with. Usually women are doing that in their 20's and settling down sometime around your age and older. Good luck.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
The Men You Should Never Marry...
Posted: 6/4/2010 4:21:01 PM
I thought it was a good read. But, I still don't care if a man has a lot of friends or not. True friends are very hard to come by.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 66 (view)
 
He waited nine days to text me - What would you do?
Posted: 6/3/2010 12:00:46 PM
It is funny how many people did not read the whole thread. LOL. OP, please let us know if you had a good time on your date. I think this may turn out to be something special.


I read the whole thread. I was commenting on the original OP and the original
question. I fail to see the problem with that? It is always nice when the OP comes
back and gives up and update, but even if they don't...usually the purpose of a thread
is to respond to the original OP.

I hope things work out as well...I like happy endings.

It is also funny how you somehow thought I was talking about your post. It was a general statement. Not directed at anyone.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 359 (view)
 
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/3/2010 10:35:18 AM
If a woman has been single for over half the year there is something wrong with her.


depends on what she looks like. top tier chicks get the pick of the litter so they can either continuously play the field (because they can) or if they really do wanna be in a relationship but can't seem to stay in one, then yeah, something is wrong with them considering their available dating pool.

So, just because a girl is good looking and single, something is wrong with her? Unbelievable. There could be so many reasons she is single. I know a lot of attractive single woman that have nothing wrong with them. There are many reasons why they are still single. Especially, black women. Sadly, most of our men are incarcerated or are with other races. But, that is another story.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
BPD disclosure?
Posted: 6/3/2010 7:57:14 AM
Mood swings would put me off. But, I would spend time to determine whether you're coping as well as you say you are and take it from there.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 104 (view)
 
How to courteously tell someone you're not interested...?
Posted: 6/3/2010 7:42:19 AM
Thanks, womaninprogress. I will use that.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 102 (view)
 
How to courteously tell someone you're not interested...?
Posted: 6/3/2010 6:31:19 AM
Thanks, ladies. Neither one of you said to ignore the email. I guess I may get some from time to time who want to be disrespectful because they were let down. I do block them. I just have read, most people want a response, so I started doing that. Do you really think saying "no thanks" is a good way to say it?
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 99 (view)
 
How to courteously tell someone you're not interested...?
Posted: 6/2/2010 4:50:29 PM
What advice would you give someone about telling someone who sends an email to you and you read his profile and know you're not interested? Do you ignore the email? I have read on the forums that people don't like that. So, I have answered each email but sometimes they send an email back being very disrespectful because I am not interested.
 
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