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 Author Thread: Would love some feedback!
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Would love some feedback!
Posted: 8/31/2017 12:28:44 PM
Call it perfectionism...but your 2nd through 5th paragraphs have way too many sentences that start with "I". It's all good stuff, but you need to make it flow better. :-)

Other than that, great job Babi! :-P Now the only thing left to do to be perfect is quit smoking! lol
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Would love some feedback!
Posted: 8/31/2017 9:49:22 AM
Your pics are great, and I think you have a better than average profile!

My comments would be:

- lose the "I'm told I'm pretty funny...and sarcastic/dry" line. You've made the reader laugh a couple times in your profile, so I would add a few more wisecracks to prove your funny, sarcastic and dry. Then, you really stand out beyond your pics.

- A paragraph break or two would break up the block of text.

- I disagre with ouija about the ramblings about dating at the end of your profile. It makes you seem neurotic in a cute Bridget Jones Diary kinda way, and more approachable. Plus it gives the guy a few more avenues to respond to you beyond the norm.

- Agree about changing your header. A funny, unique one of those always will pique my interest.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 18 (view)
 
update: 4th date and still nothing
Posted: 8/30/2017 12:11:14 PM
OP - I feel like you are one of the lucky ones who had a man's intentions laid out in all honesty.

"he said he craves a woman's affection but worries anything more physical will lead to feelings and me taking it to mean too much as far as a serious relationship goes. He then said he's emotionally unavailable, newly back to dating, and wants to continue dating me (and others) for a while yet."

#1 - Anytime a person says they are "emotionally unavailable" - RUN. Don't walk to the nearest exit!!
#2 - He is saying that he would have casual sex with you, but he knows you like him, and he doesn't want to hurt you. That is actually semi respectable. I say "semi," because he should know that just by cuddling with you, he is leading you on and messing with your feelings.

This guy is a time waster. You're already invested 4 dates on him...don't end up going months like this.

And when you end things, he will be intrigued and possibly try to give a little more to get you back...don't fall for this.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Review request - guy seeking guys
Posted: 8/28/2017 12:22:30 PM
----- Lover of coffee, cake and pizza.

First of all, you already have this listed in the "Interests" section. Secondly, these aren't "interests". Thirdly, think of a profile as an advertisement to the ladies. The first few lines have got to really grab a girl to keep her reading and wanting to find out about you. You're starting off with cake and pizza? lol Not even an interesting story about cake and pizza, but just that you like them?

----Re-evaluating life on all levels.

This comes across as a red flag to me. No one wants to date someone who is still married and re-evaluating thier life. You sound like you're lost. This is a site for people to find a match for the future, not to just be a stop-gap band aid to help you figure things out.

----Homely type comfortable somewhere relaxed rather than busy bars and clubs.

Some guys/girls will like this, but fun single people are out having fun. If you really enjoy staying in, describe why it's fun to stay in.

----Finding some new and forgotten loves like mountain biking, nature and enjoying the tranquillity of the night sky.

This kinda contradicts your homely statement. It also reaffirms the "re-evaluating life" comment. It sounds like you haven't recovered from your marriage, and you're just trying new things out.

----Music open to most genres, love some 90's house music. Plenty of guilty pleasures - but don't we all.

boring

----TV wise I usually catch up with series long after everyone else, or once they finish. Mostly Documentaries or anything Sci-fi fills my planner

boring

----Films, again mostly sci-fi (Marvel, DC, Trek), a few guilty pleasures and odd ball stuff like Red, Burn after reading and Downfall.

boring

You have to remember you are competing with hundreds of guys out there...who are not married, and more fun. You have to stand out in some way...either by pictures or your profile text. If you can't...then expect to get ignored a lot. Honestly, this profile sounds half assed, and written on the fly when you filled out your profile. I'm surprised you've gotten any responses.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Profile review
Posted: 8/24/2017 12:47:13 PM
Think of POF profiles as homework.

Some people put in a lot of effort...many drafts...research ....time crafting jokes...time figuring out how to connect with others with humor, etc..those people get A's. Those people get lots of responses.

Then, there are some people who just rush their homework just before it's due in class. These people put no thought into things, and just fill out the profile box on the fly, hoping something interesting pops into their brain, but it doesn't work like that...so typically, they just type a random stream of consciousness until there is enough there to look like they didn't their homework. No one wants to read this mess. These people get C's and D's. These people get zero responses unless their pictures are super attractive.


I recently moved to VA from WV. Im really laid back and am kind of a smartass... but in a good way... I used to be really into hunting and fishing but not so much since I've been in Va. I like going out and drinking too much every now and then but just killing time chilling at the house is great too. I have a job, have a car, not in debt, no kids, no baggage. I don't recall ever being a lying cheating POS. So from what I've seen people looking for on here I'm pretty much perfect XD.


This reads:

I just moved. I used to be active, now I just sit around on my ass drinking too much. I'm employed, but lack ambition. I might have been a jerk in the past, but I can't remember, so don't quote me on that. POF is full of jerks, so take a chance on me.


 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
A very humble request
Posted: 8/24/2017 12:24:28 PM
I agree with others about the pictures, though I love the captions on all of them. I liked the demo of the chimney and pumpkin one.

----Hobbies: Guitar. First Person Shooter games. Keyboard. Doodling furiously during baseball commercials. Finding the perfect, most cost efficient way to run my air conditioner, while still maintaining comfortability

Why not just put these into the "interests" box?


----My goals/aspirations: I've always hated this crap. Just because I do not expect/want to become wealthy, people say I don't have goals. My focus is a little shorter term. My current goal is to get better and better at my job. To do it with more grace, style and passion than the people teaching me. All the while gradually earning more and more money. I love working my job, it suits me I think

I really enjoyed your take on this, but it starts off horrible. "Hate this crap" is a turn off. You're good with words and funny...just reword this so it makes girls smile. Whether you like it or not, goals and aspirations ARE important to dating. Your profession is an apprentice, so I would assume you'd like to eventually grow as a carpenter?

---- What makes me unique?!: What an insane question to think about. Best answer would probably be that I'm overthinking everything and there's bound to be something weird with about everything I do. Just ask the guys I work with..I can usually be found trying to find an angle for a pun, or a joke, or a reference. If you're not enjoying it, it doesn't stop. Run...

Again - you are giving the feel that you think dating is a joke, and how dare anyone would ever want to know why someone is unique. It's too negative. This is also just a random stream of consciousness from you. Out of all the things that might make you interesting or stand out, you want to tell people you over anaylze things? If you're weird, maybe tell a weird story, or a fun example of how being weird is charming. Your profile gives off the vibe that you think you're really clever, and simply talking is a gift for your readers. lol...in fact, nothing about this paragraph is productive to painting the image of what it's like to date you.

--- Favorite modern bands include but definitely are not limited to: Fleet Foxes, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Grizzly Bear, Tame Impala
There's a lot I'm into when it comes to music, a lot I'm NOT into as well. Lets you and me talk about it!

I've never been a fan of taking up valuable profile space listing bands, but that's just me. You're basically trying to connect with girls who know those bands here. This is just you running out of energy to be interesting in your profile. Your profile format is basically a bullet point list as well. I would craft it to flow better, but that's just me.

You're humor is way better than most people on here, so that's why I think you can do better. The gap between where it is now, and where it should be is the gap between the responses you're getting now, and getting responses all the time and lots of interest.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Profile review
Posted: 8/24/2017 12:03:19 PM
Are you proud of this profile?

- Profession: Amazon

What is this? Are you Wonder Woman? Are you the CEO of Amazon? A customer service rep? Janitor?

- Pól is about as Irish as it gets, porcelain completion, has dark eyes, shap canine teeth, tends to avoid mirrors and the sun a lot...

What is porcelain completion? Right off the bat you're telling everyone you can't even put forth the effort to check spelling.

I like the vampire lead in, but if you're going to do that, go bigger or funnier. You're really skating the line of frustrating and hard to read by writing in the 3rd person. You seem creative...why not put more effort into this? Connect being a vampire to who you are as a person. Make it funny. Like "Obviously I enjoy going out to concerts and underground rave feedings at night, but if there's a cool art exhibit going on in a park, I might risk the rays and layer on the sunscreen and long sleeves." I dunno...something clever. Tie in your job frustrations? "I help people out on the phone all day, but really all I can think about is what they might taste like with a side of shriraca ranch sauce"

- Is quite outspoken, passionate, and as curious as a tiny fat cat.

I looooove cats, but I don't really get "tiny fat cat?" Is this the most curious thing you could think of? And if it's a fat cat, why is it tiny? Is that why it's curious? Because we want to know why it's tiny and fat at the same time? lol Also, EVERYONE has passionate in their profile. By the time anyone reads this...they are either skipping you, or just going to browse the rest to be sure you're not a psycho, because of your looks.

- Loves art, reading, cinema, and music.

There's a section for this above, and you filled it in. Why are you repeating this? Lists aren't fun to read either.

- Currently reading The Outsider ( Albert Camus ?)

Are you asking us who the author of the book is that you are reading? Why is there a question mark? lol Connect with the girl you are looking for here, man. What is your favorite part about the book? What's it about? Are girls just supposed to know this book?


- Baby Driver is probably the best movie out this year (oh Edgar Wright).

Why is oh Edgar Wright in parenthasis? Another random statement from you that goes nowhere.


- Childish Gambino can do no wrong. (Shameless Instagram plug, paulo_winhurley, he likes drawing and posting pictures of his grumpy cat)

I don't know who Childish Gambino is, but it sounds like you are just telling girls to go check out pictures of grumpy cat? lol Is that the best you can write? Some immortal vampire just wants to name drop an author, director, and grumpy cat drawer? What about this says anything about you, or showcases what you can bring to the table? It's lazy.


Things he likes
-running till he's passing out
-the scent of rain
-warm tea at night
-his tiny fat cat
-pondering the philosophical implications of having immortal life


Ugh - lists are bad enough, but bad lists are really pointless. Are you really running until you pass out? lol That seems dangerous. Warm tea? Sheesh man, I like petting my dog on the head as I'm going down the stairs, but is that really profile worthy? Once again you're going back to the vampire well...which I actually like, but you've already spent most of your profile talking about Baby Driver or some grumpy cat artist...it has lost it's appeal.


Things he doesn't like
-mirrors
-The Catholic church
-Buffy
-holy water
-tan lines
-people with sharp sticks
-his tiny fat cat when he kneads him

Pointless...and un-imaginative at best. Like...if you're going to say "mirrors"...say "Not being able to tell if my hair is styled correctly because I can't get a flipping reflection." lol...again...have your readers want to keep reading because it's fun.

I guess my advice would be a complete re-write. Either decide to do a realistic profile, or be COMPLETELY fantasy and interesting here. Pick one and put some effort into it. If you're not a good writer, don't go with the vampire thing..it'll just come across as lame. Honestly, it looks like this profile took you all of 10 minutes to write. And get rid of the 3rd person...you'll stand out with the vampire angle...no need to try to do too much. This is a dating site afterall...not a creative writing class.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
New user, and not getting much interest, profile and pic review please.
Posted: 8/15/2017 7:58:24 AM
Asides from being bland and demanding....your profile starts off with the fact you're old, but want a young looking woman.

lol

You can THINK that and hold out for that...but man....you really are not doing yourself any favors with that line.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Do men grieve a seperation ?
Posted: 11/30/2016 3:20:45 PM
I think we mourn when we have a gaping wound left in our hearts.

He doesn't have that, because his wound is filled up by your friend.

Or it could be because he's already mourned over the past few years, like others have posted. Just because he left recently doesn't mean he wasn't emotionally done before.

If they break up, then it's quite possible he'll come back or feel the pain of the 23 years he had with you.

Sorry you are going through this. :-(
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Odd dating situation. Your opinion?
Posted: 11/28/2016 1:54:01 PM
Well that's what dating is...

You date around until you find someone to commit to.

That's pretty wild she did that 5 dates in! That's completely disrespectful. I'd be gone and block her from future calls/texts/messages.

I wouldn't be too mean about it - just accept some people are jerks.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Review the **** out of me
Posted: 11/4/2016 8:31:04 AM
You're cute, but your pics could definitely be better - afterall, this site is 80% based on looks...maybe more.

Your profile is humorless, short, and the overall feel of it is someone lost in life. Like...you're a security guard who wants to be a tattoo artist, but have other goals and dreams...but you don't list them...

I dunno...your text is definitely not attracting people.

Just my thoughts.

Make your profile memorable.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Holding Onto Your Virginity an Issue
Posted: 11/4/2016 8:19:23 AM
If you were really hot and fun, confident, not judgmental, had a nice job and were motivated and had a lot going for you....you'd have a lot of guys in line to date you, and they would also be willing to wait until marriage for sex.

If you're not attractive, not motivated in life, rude and judgmental, not fun in bed, poor, and give off negative energy...there's going to be very few guys wanting to date you, and less who will be patient enough for marriage.

It's very simple.

This doesn't apply just to you, but everyone. We're all at a certain place on the ladder...and we typically date at equal rungs on the ladder.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Do you ever get unsolicited profile suggestions from people you're not attracted to?
Posted: 11/3/2016 7:39:00 AM
Good people read profiles, because they are genuninely interested in you.

If you want to come across as an angry, jerk with a profile loaded with angry disclaimers...oh well...good luck with that approach. The good people will ignore you, and the same lousy picks won't read it anyway.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Does this sound like a lame date?
Posted: 11/2/2016 11:54:37 AM
I absolutely think walking the mall is a super lame first date.

Sorry.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
She 'totally forgot' our date
Posted: 10/3/2016 1:29:47 PM
I agree with the above poster - she found someone else and is too wussy to let you down respecfully.

That's just how 99% of all people handle dating now: "The Fade"
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 686 (view)
 
Update us please?
Posted: 9/29/2016 10:13:18 AM
I like your new pics :-)
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Hot...Cold...Whatever
Posted: 9/28/2016 12:25:02 PM
She's just not that into you.

Sounds like everything is on her terms, and even when you do get together, it's doing lazy stuff...basically she doesn't want you, but doesn't want to be alone either.

If it were me, I would move on. It doesn't even sound like she brings much to the table in the way of friendship either.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Please help with what he wants?
Posted: 9/26/2016 8:10:50 AM
lol - I agree with Carolann
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Don't know what to call this new relationship. FWB with potential??
Posted: 9/23/2016 10:44:13 AM
You are good enough to f#$$ but not good enough to date/commit to...if you're okay with that, then I guess good luck!

This one is on you.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How can I improve my profile?
Posted: 9/16/2016 10:58:19 AM
Picture wise, definitely remove the middle finger image. I have no idea what you're trying to say with that, but it comes off really bad.

You're cute, so you're always going to get attention, but here are my thoughts on your actual profile:

Limit your interests to actual hobbies and interests that you pursue. :-)


If you write only some variation of "hey", "what's up", or "you're sexy" I will not reply. If I continue receiving those types of messages after I've now written this lil' update, I'll just block you since you're liking just going to keep sending that junk. Truth for ya. Women typically just don't like that.

I'm not here for "fun" and "hook-ups". I'm here seeking a monogamous relationship with one compatible partner. But, New platonic friendships are great too. Platonic means friends without benefits.



The purpose of attracting nice people on a dating site is to lure them in, and make them want to get to know you. We do this by having a fun, clever, stand out profile.

Somehow the profile purpose for most girls is to use their profile to rant about all of the negative experience they've had. Umm...I think this is the biggest turn off, and here's why:

1 - EVERY girl has these SAME EXACT rants to guys. You aren't telling them anything they haven't already read a million times on other profiles. Guys who aren't like this, do not need to read this, and guys who ARE like this, aren't going to all in a sudden change.
2 - You come across as angry + your middle finger photo...eh...you are not someone that makes me want to be playful with.



Hmmm...tell me about your taste in music Or describe your personality in 3 words? Happy fishing guys.





If ya' read through my interests list, you'll learn plenty about me. ;)


Wow - super lazy here Locust. Use a profile to draw in people - give them a glimpse of what it's like to talk and go out with you. Tell stories, make them laugh, be different. Listing a bunch of random things and then referring to it in your text section defeats the whole purpose of the essay portion.



I find a straightforward honest way sexy on a man. I'm attracted to people who no matter the adversity life may through at them they are determined to pick themselves back up. With the mentality that at the very least a leason was learned and that in itself is positive enough. Someone deep, a thinker, hunger to learn, who is always wanting to improve themselves internally. Someone who money, status, and power are not their greatest motivations in life. Someone deeply spiritual and scientific. Someone who is free to think for himself yet isn't geared to pushing their own idea(l)s on anyone else. Someone genuinely open-minded. Expressive.

Much like myself in these respects. Yet, someone different plenty in ways from me that we can enjoy that interesting contrast



So basically...you want the same thing we all want. I mean, all of this is just a generic wish list that we all have. You're still not sharing what it's like to date you. You haven't made us laugh, or be intrigued...nothing. It's all about what you want, instead of showing us what you're like.

These are just my thoughts - rant rant rant...generic wish list of some imaginary guy....I'm out of this profile and hopefully looking for someone who is a little less self absorbed.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile help
Posted: 9/14/2016 2:39:34 PM
Your profile is basically telling girls:

1) You're a contridiction...i.e....do not really know what you are. That might be chic in your 20's...in your 30's, girls want someone who is stable.

2) You say you're not looking for anything serious.

A combination of those two things is basically a big red flag for every girl. You're not serious about yourself or your relationships...so why should any girl waste time on someone like that?

If all that is true...then don't change anything. Don't lie and lead a girl on when you indeed do not wanting anything serious.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 184 (view)
 
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/14/2016 8:37:24 AM

every now and then if I'm bored I let him out of the cage, its really funny, the 5 that rejected me is all over him lol......


Uhh...and then what? Do you actually have conversations with these girls? Flirt with them? And then what do you do when they take it to the next level and meet?

Or do you just shoot them all down as a way to punish them for not being receptive to your real profile?

I don't get it.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Getting over breaking up
Posted: 9/13/2016 9:00:46 AM

Every time you contact that ex, you are practically resetting the "get over" internal clock.


Great advice.

To go further...I would say that everytime you obsess/talk about him, you are resetting the "get over" internal clock.

So everytime you post on here, you are letting those feelings bubble up.

Maybe try to lay off even this thread :-)

Good luck Jellybeans!
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Missed chance
Posted: 9/13/2016 7:56:17 AM
Life is full of regrets...especially when it comes to dating. :-)

We make mistakes in who we choose to date because we're sometimes selfish, don't want to commit, need to learn lessons the hard ways, etc...

Don't obsess about missed opportunities - just be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy, and we are all in control of our own happiness.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 172 (view)
 
For the guys: Do girls message you first?
Posted: 9/13/2016 7:50:41 AM
I probably get 1 - 2 girls messaging me a week.

Pictures count for a lot, but so does the actual profile words - it is a glimpse into who you are.

If you stand out, and come across as someone trusting, honest, fun, and genuine...you're going to get action online...unless your pictures are just horrible.

From my experience, after the age of 30, a lot of girls change their priorities. They move appearance down from #1. Security, fun, and building a future together counts for a lot more.

If you are boring and blend into the sea of endless profiles...you're not going to get much attention. You must stand out.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Insight
Posted: 9/13/2016 7:40:28 AM
What I'm looking for:

Fun/Funny
Financially Responsible
Honest
Caring and nice
Knows how to communicate
Attractive to me
Motivated in life
Doesn't smoke or do drugs

Those are the things I personally find important, but everyone is different.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Getting over breaking up
Posted: 9/13/2016 7:33:38 AM
If you're still calling him (even if it was his birthday)....you're nowhere near being over him.

STOP CONTACTING HIM!!!

You have a long way to go.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Getting over breaking up
Posted: 9/8/2016 12:52:29 PM
I always thought...

when you are really happy and at peace in your day to day life...i.e....not lonely or missing a warm body or feeling incomplete...

Then you're ready to date and move on. Then you'll be happy with life, and it won't matter that you're single.

It sounds like you're doing great though with your new activities. It takes stuff like that to stay involved and interesting.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Liars & Gameplayers
Posted: 9/8/2016 12:49:12 PM
So weird...I think 80% of the girls on here are attractive.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Did I intimidate him?
Posted: 9/3/2016 9:38:34 PM
You're young, so you don't have a lot of dating experience, so I'll try to give you the basics... :-)

The purpose of dating is to find a long term partner.

You meet, and date until they no longer are a match, and then you move on.

The more time you waste on people and dead end guys who give you CLEAR flags that they are not a match - you cut bait and MOVE ON. This guy is clearly not a keeper.

The sooner you learn that lesson, the better. This is why people are single for so long...because they waste so much time on relationships that have no business being relationships. One more turns to two...turns to 6...turns to a year...next thing you know you've just wasted a year on someone that you knew wasn't going to be a keeper to begin with.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Horrible at communication/texting or not interested?
Posted: 9/3/2016 9:30:28 PM
He's just not that into you.

Some people don't have the restraint to cut off communication when they decide the other person isn't for them. Instead, they still initiate communication when they are lonely. When you ignore, it presents a challenge, and then they get interested again....flirt...say what you want to here...do what it takes to get your attention again. Then once they have it, they bow out.

It's up to you to recognize this behavior and end things. It's not on him anymore, but on you.

Good luck!
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I love you, no I won't friend you, 3 months into it, WTH??
Posted: 9/1/2016 8:00:18 AM
Maybe he's just not "there" yet.

He doesn't want to introduce you into his world yet because he's unsure of where it's headed.

At our age, we've all grown into our patterns and stuff...maybe this is his hang up. We're all single for a reason! lol
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Want to give me a 3 month trail
Posted: 9/1/2016 7:55:26 AM
She's definitely not into you...twice.

If you want to repeat this a third time, have at it. lol
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Should I ask if we are fwb or something more?
Posted: 8/29/2016 11:57:44 AM
You need to make a clear distinction between FWB (Friends with Benefits) and FB (F-buddy).

FWB has am emphasis on friendship. You talk, hang out, share, are there for each other...there is a very real reciprocal relationship.

FB is just hooking up for sex.

Yes, you can move from a FWB into a relationship (although incredibly doubtful in your case)...but it's rare. He has to want you, and want the relationship, and want to plan dates to court you. Going out to eat and watching movies at home isn't a date.

Learn from it.

This is why you make someone wait. To be sure it's "real"...and to develop a real connection.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Worst reasons you've given when dumped?
Posted: 8/25/2016 10:27:20 AM
It would be awesome to exchange a "post-date" or "post-relationship" survey card with people!

Then, we could learn why the other person left or didn't like us; was it a bad habit? looks related? they found someone better? If so, in what way?

But that's not going to happen because it's just not comfortable telling someone their flaws. It puts the dumper in a very awkward position. And really...only strong people could handle rejection and the logical reasons behind it. Other dumpees would go into denial and lash out.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 21 (view)
 
I really messed up.
Posted: 8/25/2016 10:14:13 AM
lmao - yup, you did something totally stupid. What's worse is that you thought it was okay...and then lied (by omission) to your new bf.

Hope you learn to be respectful to your partners in future relationships.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Friend withholds affection
Posted: 8/25/2016 9:24:41 AM
Friends for six years, and you only see each other once a year.

Keep him as a friend and let that be that. You're not even great friends with him either if you don't know if he's sleeping with other people.

People withold affection because of 2 reasons: 1) they have issues. 2) they aren't interested.

This is super simple. Why make things complicated? You're letting someone take up valuable emotional real estate in your head. If probably was just horny and made a move on you to satisfy his temporary physical urges.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Search by User Name now not available?
Posted: 8/22/2016 2:19:35 PM
I think it's a brower thing.

Username search works fine on Safari and Explorer, but not on firefox for me.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 19 (view)
 
It was nothing, she said?
Posted: 8/22/2016 2:08:57 PM

Does anyone here know what the question actually is?


lmao...I have no idea what this thread is about.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is he intrested..?
Posted: 8/22/2016 2:05:18 PM
lol so basically you led him on, and don't want to tell him you're not interested....and he's not getting the hint.

Sounds pretty typical. Yes, you're being rude.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 107 (view)
 
Dating Someone That Has Nothing
Posted: 8/22/2016 1:45:57 PM

No you are WRONG. I do have motivation, in my freelance writing and photography, I love what I do, I just wish it would pay and it rarely ever does.


Uh...welcome to the real world! lol

I'm talking about a real job that can support you. You tried college and quit, because it wasn't the easy fun thing that is writing and taking pictures. Everyone has hobbies and passions. We explore them when we aren't busy earning a living.

I'm going to school for my masters, and work really hard to own a house, car, travel, buy nice things etc. No way am I going to want to date a girl who doesn't want to get a real job and can't afford to take vacations with me. Having to support someone is NOT attractive.

You asked if people would date someone with nothing with no drive to ever have more...and I'm here to tell you that the only people who would date someone with nothing, are those people who also have nothing and no motivation.

Good luck finding happiness, Nataly.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is this normal for online dating?
Posted: 8/18/2016 10:50:19 AM
That's what dating is.

Meeting people with the goal to find someone to commit to.

Unless a relationship develops, both of you are free to talk to whomever you want.

If you're super fun and interesting, and your messages are spunky...he won't WANT to talk to other girls.

If you're a lame conversationalist...then yes...he'll probably look for other entertainment.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Dating 5 months want it to be official
Posted: 8/18/2016 10:38:46 AM
I think she's not the one for you.

If you're dating a girl for 5 months, and they don't want to "make it official"...then they are not completely happy with you. There is something holding them back.

Unfortunately, unresolved issues are bad news for you.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 195 (view)
 
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/18/2016 10:30:54 AM

As it happens, I didn't have any special plans. I just like to take my time and keep some distance at first.


Have fun staying single playing those kinds of games. lol
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Dating Someone That Has Nothing
Posted: 8/18/2016 10:28:52 AM

This is what I would bring to the table in a relationship and what I would offer a guy to motivate him to gall in love with me -

Love
Spirit
Romance
Stability
Loyalty
A person of faith
Intellectual
Sense of Humour
Playful
Loyalty


Those are great things to bring to the table...if you're in High School.

The fact is...at 30+, single people want someone to share a life with. That means shared responsibilities like family, chores, bills, etc.

No way in hell do I even think about dating someone who has no motivation to get a job, and actually tries to justify being lazy and unmotivated. The reason why so many jobs require a degree is because it shows that the candidate had SOME motivation to actually finish something they start.

Healthy, motivated, balanced people attract, and want to be with, other healthy, motivated, balanced people. We date our equals.

You're never going to find a healthy stable guy, because you yourself are not healthy and stable and capable of sustaining a decent life for yourself. You will only attract users and bad men.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Friendships Where Your Friends Use You
Posted: 8/18/2016 10:19:31 AM
Maybe she brings it up to bother you.

She's a selfish friend already...being one of "those" friends who purposely hurt you isn't that much of a stretch.

Jennifer Hudson's character in "Something Borrowed." Those girls most definitely exist.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Asking for male feedback on the profile?
Posted: 8/1/2016 8:34:12 AM
Are you sure you would never date me? I thought I felt a spark so I booked us reservations for a nice dinner tomorrow night. Should I cancel?

lol...stop being grumpy! Your uppity-ness permeates your writing, and is a massive turn off.

The goal of this section is to refine one's profile to convey your personality in a way that people can't wait to message you and find out more about you. Part of the formula for success is to use humor, brevity and mystery.

If you want to re-submit another draft of your profile, I will review and critique it again. I'm sure there is a fun lady in there somewhere. :-)
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 46 (view)
 
He ended it, but now wants another chance. Do I give it?
Posted: 8/1/2016 7:55:36 AM
I hope you learned 2 things here:

1 - Pay attention to red flags and warning signs with dates. The signs are everywhere. Pretty much everyone on this thread told you he wasn't really interested in you because he already dumped you once. That's a huge red flag that you ignored because you were so attracted to him.

2 - Don't put out so fast. You say your conversations were sexually charged leading up to this re-connect date? Why? That's not a conversation people have with someone who just dumped them.

Either way, this is how people stay single for a long time....by ignoring the warning signs and wasting time on losers and liars.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Falling in love vs. Being in love
Posted: 8/1/2016 7:35:34 AM
I think falling in love is butterflies and hormones.

Loving someone is a choice.


When you decide you want to be with each other, trust each other, share each other's lives, etc...that's a choice to love someone. Because there will be days where you absolutely can't stand each other and want to walk away, but instead, you perservere because loving someone is chosing to make a commitment. You can't get to this point in 6 months.
 scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
It's a small world after all ...
Posted: 7/31/2016 4:14:09 PM
I've had a long distance cyber fling before...and it was hot as hell.

Nothing wrong as long as you're both single.
 
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