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 Author Thread: Review, please!
 redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Review, please!
Posted: 7/15/2016 12:32:11 AM
Your profile is good. If you were to change anything you could mention what you are looking for in a person and perhaps mention your day to day interests although you did good covering your event preferences. Better than my profile, which is too long and specific.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile review plz
Posted: 7/14/2016 3:14:41 PM
Thanks! That was what I was worried about .I'll have to figure out how to trim it up a bit.
 redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Please Review My Profile, I Will Give you a Piece of Candy :)
Posted: 7/14/2016 12:10:48 PM
A few cliche parts which others have already mentioned but I think you make up for it on your list and mentioning your personality. In the 2nd paragraph I suppose you feel that grazing at the night sky may tell a woman you appreciate nature's beauty but a woman is likely to think, he'll not be paying attention to me. Women are a jealous type, even if you are staring at nature. On the "Message me" part only the 1st one seemed to have any real effect. Maybe that is just me. Good luck bro!
 redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Review?
Posted: 7/14/2016 12:03:59 PM
Overall it was good and well organized. Fairly impressed. I'd suggest, and this is only a personal point of view, that you post a bit more about your attitude, traits, and ambitions. Then maybe a bit more on the type of woman you'd like to spend time with. To be honest, as it is your profile is a winning formula due to mentioning activities and a quick and short story or two.
 redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Profile Review Please!
Posted: 7/14/2016 11:48:35 AM
Serena, I am going to be as blunt and nice as I can on this.
Scrap your current bio and begin anew. You are being overwhelmingly negative. In fact, I saw nothing positive in it. You spent half your time bashing the gender you are trying to attract. Tacky, very tacky. You also seem to be going out of your way to make yourself look unattractive and not just because you REFUSE to post a personal photo. In today's age you have the means to have a picture taken and uploaded for free so no excuses about photography not being a hobby. Most will assume, and I'd be inclined to assume, to think that you have self-esteem issues.
Mentioning the fact that you are broke and jobless and your current living situation does nothing positive for your prospects. Not even kittens on the bed could redeem it. Might I suggest you drop your living arrangements and, at best, say you are currently in transition in your job/career field.
Serena, PAY ATTENTION to this next part. The stuff I mentioned was an issue in the previous paragraph will attrack ONLY 2 types of guys. The One night standers you complained about or control freaks who love drawing people into their lives that are forced to be dependent on them. Neither is a winning formula for love or happiness.
You asked for honest input. You can rant and rave and hate me all you want. I'm just trying to be helpful by giving my opinion. Feel free to give my your opinion on my opinion and on my profile, which I posted a request for input right after you did. - David
 redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Profile review plz
Posted: 7/14/2016 11:38:06 AM
I've recently rejoined the dating scene. Met 2 ex wives on PoF so I am beginning to wonder :)
Anyways, I'd appreciate feedback on my profile. I tend to try to be thorough but sometimes I can't see where I may be lingering on a topic. Should I take more pictures in specific settings? Also, I'd love help finding a better profile heading. I know I can do better than what I have got. I list my occupation as classified because of potential gold diggers. Should I keep it that way or mention my occupation(Railroad Engineer). Thanks in advance for any imput. DJ
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Is it possible or should I get her back?
Posted: 12/13/2010 11:34:34 AM
Dude, no sympathy here. Did girl B know about girl A? I am gonna guess she did not, and I feel sorry for girl B, nobody else in this situation. You were enjoying having your cake and eating it to, and girl A cut it off due to not being able to commit to a guy who would not take her seriously enough to show undivided interest. OF course she wanted it broken off you, you ninny! She may not have wanted things to get heavy serious but she reasonably could not even take you semi-serious while you are seeing and sleeping with 2 freaking women!
If you are sleeping with more than one woman and calling them both "relationships" what do you expect Mr Stud? What creeps me out is I might have turned into someone like you. I had those tendencies and opportunities but found no honest way to reconcile playing more than one women in the field and in the bed. If it was to the point of sex, exclusivity had already been agreed upon, except for one night stands of course.
While I have no personal problem with open-ended dating it is this humble poster's opinion you are not ready for ANY "Normal" relationship and you'd be best off in the rest stop or "Dogging" scenes. Leave the decent women for the real men )
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dogging?
Posted: 11/23/2010 7:24:05 AM
In the USA they are called "rest stops" which attract gays in droves. For reference watch "There's something about Mary" lo!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Communication Issues
Posted: 11/20/2010 9:47:58 PM
I wish to observe something before I dispense my mediocre advice. You have a daughter, your profile says you have no children. That goes beyond a simple miscommunication dear.

You are probably overly critical of yourself and seem to be insecure. That is to be expected in a woman 20 years your junior. Before you even consider finding new friends or dating you are going to have to validate yourself and your existance. You must be comfortable being you and allowing that to show, if people don't like it, there are 6 billion other people on the planet. No two people romantically or otherwise are going to be a perfect match. Oh and dear, there is no Mr right. Its a myth. While there are certain compatability needs to be able to function together, we are all human and thereby flawed people. I am a bit outspoken, but not a braggart. I put something out in forums recently that certainly put me in a negative light for some who chose to view things from one point of view. I got lots of criticism but a bit of good advice. I think it was worth it, I am thick skinned usually.

At the end of the day you have yourself to be accountable to, don't be wishy washy, figure out what you want in life and go forward. Don't settle for less than you and your daughter's needs, this may mean there are some roads you will have to go down alone, but if you like yourself it's not so bad. Best of luck dear!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What women really mean when they say.....
Posted: 11/20/2010 9:30:41 PM
If you are into drama move on" - Drama queen.

"I want to be spoiled and treated like the princess my daddy always said I was " - Wants things in life to be free, lazy and probably unreliable
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Men and Woman size does count??
Posted: 11/17/2010 6:06:17 PM
First of all, well put Arwen52 of two posts ago! I could not agree more but I'll add my two cents in as well.

Many women I dated or married were overweight. None more than my last recent ex wife. She contacted me in PoF and I scanned her profile. I am too nice to just read/delete so I responded but resisted any advance. She got all huffy puffy about all men want are blonde barbie girls, sound familiar? Now I don't take crap from nobody. I fired back and explained that my profile specifically stated I was on a heavy physical fitness routine to shape up and lose weight and I was seeking someone with similar activity preferences(very much like my profile reads today). Long story short, we met in person to argue more conveniently and then married 3 months later to do it even more conveniently. HOWEVER, my fears were fully realized in the end. She lacked any self confidence, she is adored by most of this small town, I am not but she still had insecurities about her weight, though she lost 70 in one year.

She was active enough around the house but in the 15 months we were married I only managed to get her out of the house ONCE to walk the dogs. It represented a conflict for me, and she was not very comfortable about my going to the gym because the "Barbie girls" hang out there. She has obviously never seen the inside of that gym...There were several reasons for the marriage failure(no infidelities) but now that I think about it many of the issues were a result of her lack of self confidence and in who she was and I can only say reassuring things to her so many times a day before I would be burned out and eventually be unfriendly about the whole damn thing. There is a point to this, I never snubbed out women who were not skinny, but my experience with a "chubby" that I did love and care for has led me to shun ever dating one again, I simply can't handle the idea of dealing with someone with those kind of insecurities.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How would YOU feel and handle this situation?
Posted: 11/17/2010 12:21:47 PM
I'd probably call it quits soon if I were you. This sounds remarkably like previous marraige of mine, except the man was in your roll. But do yourself a favor, don't start looking at the field for more fish until you totally completely break it off with this man. Allow some down time to observe what was it that caused you to get into this mediocre complacency in the first place. I can guarantee it was not just him. I wonder if MAN was to post here his perspective about WOMAN we'd get a better picture of the situation. Btw, I think of all the selfish things described about MAN in this post, the one about not going along with both holidays at your Dad's house is damn near forgivable and a red flag if I have ever seen one. Better luck on your next catch!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Interesting girl meets me here, then runs for cover
Posted: 11/16/2010 9:43:03 PM
I kind of chuckle at the med comments because I have been involved with medicated women. Until the suicide of my co-worker and good friend 15 days ago I had never been put on any kind of crazy pill. For me it's temp for anxiety. This gal was very knowledgeable about the pill they put me on since it is one of the ones she is on, she even guessed which doctor put me on them, what the dosage was, and for how long!
I have come up with a new observation about meds and dates. For the last 10 years one question I have posed on every first date was if they were on any kind of medication. I now feel that you know a first date is not going well when your date is -
a) On more meds than your ex
b) Taking more meds than you
c) Is on meds you cannot pronounce
d) Is not on any meds but obviously needs to be...
I'm not going to sweat this fish. I can only be more clear on my communication without it coming across as intense. This is what I learned from this. Oh, there is nothing wrong with a woman contacting the guy, it's nice. I have had nice discussions with some that did that, dated one even. This was the only time thus far someone got weirded out.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What did I do wrong this time?
Posted: 11/16/2010 2:40:18 PM
I do not feel you did anything overtly wrong. 2 weeks of messaging is not abnormal. However, like has already been pointed out you were a bit wishy washy on broaching the subject of meeting which is normal but "It's cool, anytime you feel it's ok, and even if you don't want to at all it's fine too" was too uncommitted. Yes, you gave her a safe out and that is admirable. But I probably would have handled it different, like this -"We've been chatting with each other for 2 weeks, you're an interesting person and I was wondering what you think about maybe meeting up to sit down and talk in person." I'd have not specified any activity or rambled on about location until I saw her response. If she responded positively I'd ask her what she likes to do in Nelsonville (I assume that is a neutral location). You are then giving her the ball and it gives you a chance to learn of an interest or two before a specific place or activity is discussed. It shows consideration, interest and intent. It also gives you a chance to gauge her reaction. Also, I'd probably not mention stuff like not knowing the area too well until a followup converstation. You threw too much information on her at once.
One more thing, she may have freaked out because she is already seeing someone, or like others suggested, she was a flake or felt only comfortable with chat buddies. There are men and women out there who will tell of their darkest fantasies and secrets and be very passionate with you by proxy. Maybe it is something they feel they are lacking in their life but are uncomfortable to act on or be around, or maybe it's lacking in their current relationship lol! Better luck next time OP!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Interesting girl meets me here, then runs for cover
Posted: 11/16/2010 10:33:02 AM
I may concede I shared too much with her. However, she shared more than her share with me. But she has to put up with people sharing their life with her at work all day long. I should have realized this at the beginning and not felt comfortable discussing very much history and talked more about neutral things. If I get another situation like this, I may ask them a few questions but then ask them to come up with some questions of their own, this would help give me an idea of their intent and interest. Looking back at this it would have been best for me to not make any possible assumptions, I don't care for unexpected surprises so I try to look at all possibilities. I was also a bit guilty of stereotyping, I get it.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
lots of contact before first date
Posted: 11/15/2010 9:19:19 PM
It's called chemistry dude. This is why I don't get how some people can get so close via proxy before meeting. Another poster had it right. She built up an image of you that no man could have lived up to. She expected everything to be perfect like some crappy chick flick or dime store romance novel. I do not think she was rooted in reality, she was rooted in media images. It seems more of the type of thing you go through as a kid, puppy love. It is possible she found another fish in that interim, but not a certainty. Do your best to just move on, forget this investment of your time and energy and move forward! Good luck!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Interesting girl meets me here, then runs for cover
Posted: 11/15/2010 8:57:25 PM
Okay, sensible alpha then. I have found bulldozing over people to be ineffective from my upbringing. I have my moments but they are seldom negative or condescending. The med is a generic. Prescribed to me simply because a good friend and co-worker unexpectedly commited suicide two weeks ago. It shook me more than a little and, my overpowering desire to take action and change a bad situation into something positive in honor of him got me in a bit of hot water. Hence the temporary meds.
She contacted me first. We laid down a few basic ground rules. I told her about my nature. We had some spirited talks. If I crossed the line, it is the lesson I wish to learn from. If I thought it was just her, I'd have never have posted this. Appreciate the feedback and criticism. It's a good way to learn!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Interesting girl meets me here, then runs for cover
Posted: 11/15/2010 7:46:49 PM
I am moving on, just my pride got injured a little bit because someone of her type could not just be honest. I prefer honesty. I have a life, it does not evolve around friends or my status lol! Thanks for the feedback btw. Also, I am not prone to angry outbursts, I do have control of my temper, just passionate at times is all.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Interesting girl meets me here, then runs for cover
Posted: 11/15/2010 6:22:17 PM
No, not the first time. I met my ex wife in PoF a couple years ago lol! Come to think of it, she contacted me first then too! I just don't do the usual drill of throwing tons of first contacts out there. I have made a few friends in my area through PoF over the years.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Interesting girl meets me here, then runs for cover
Posted: 11/15/2010 6:10:14 PM
I am recently divorced. I hold no strong desire to get back into serious dating but am very interested in meeting new intelligent and forward thinking women. Women like to talk. So do I.
So about a week ago a message rolls into my inbox from a woman who lives about 40 miles from me. I check the time stamp and it is 140am when sent. Hmm, a night-owl. Sent me about 5 paragraphs of info but the meat of it was she said based on my profile she felt we had a lot in common. It's always flattering to get these so I scan her bio, I find it both interesting and perplexing. I also noted her profile is not open to the public, you can't search it. She was certainly not unattractive. She is one year younger than myself (38). She is a child and family therapist! Great! We have something in common. I see a therapist, she IS one ). On top of that she commutes to my city every workday to get to work which means she probably drives right past my house twice a day. But, at 38 she has never had children and never been married. Made a mental note for a possible red flag. Potentially meeting and hanging around a woman my age with no children usually means their kids are grown, this was a novelty! Based on her education, and places she lived and her saying it was complicated about her past I even entertained the thought she may be a reformed long term lesbian! Hey, you gotta cover all bases!
So we chat in PoF for a few days. She was not a former lesbian based on the history she divulged to me. I told her I was put on my first ever crazy pill, temporary for anti-anxiety. Was surprised to learn she was on the same stuff and a few other drugs too. She sometimes had panic attacks, note this for later. I started to think this is a forward thinking successful woman who is doing what she loves and is not co-dependent. Great, I made a new friend! Smart one at that! We get to talking about life experiences and our values and goals in life. Everything seems cool. I explain that I am a kind of repressed alpha type who grew up under the watch of a single mother who is about as type-a as you can get. I tell her, I am fairly reasonable but when a topic or situation touches on something I am particularly passionate my mind goes into overdrive and I talk about a mile a minute. There seems to be no problem with that.
There are no romantic hints, both of us being pretty guarded. I don't mind in the least. Eventually I brooch the subject of meeting in her town for dinner, just dinner so we can talk in person. She says she thinks it is a great idea. Now I may have made a mistake in assuming she meant "I am looking forward to meeting you so we can speak at length in person". This meeting was to be the next evening. That night we were chatting as usual and it was probably 10 pm. Then, suddenly, she types "Hmm, someone is at my door, I am not expecting any company". 30 seconds later she goes offline. Alpha kicks in a little and I grew a bit concerned. I sent her a couple "Are you there, is everything alright?" messages before I retire for the night.

Next day, as afternoon came, I grew a bit concerned and suspicious. Messaged her saying is everything okay? Nothing. I had some business to conduct in a town halfway between my town and hers so eventually I send her my cell number and facebook info and asked her to contact me if we were still on for dinner. I suppose I should have explained that I had to be in between towns and didn't want to turn back home only to find a message confirming time and place. Nothing. A day later she contacts me and says she was afraid I did not have boundaries set up, and felt it was a mistake for her to even be back in PoF. She then deleted all our correspondence and nothing since. I sent her a small reply saying I respect her decision but assured her my boundaries are set and I was more concerned for her safety when she had her unexpected visitor. Wished her the best of luck and I meant it. I have noted that she is still on PoF every day since though.

Now theoretically several possibilities crossed my mind before she gave me that message. Firstly, she may have had an old boyfriend drop by and... That did not eat at me too much except she is supposed to be forward thinking and had no fondness for her past romantic life. And a woman who lets old flames drop by for old time's sake is not very consistent for me. They say consistency is the defense of a small mind but, really! It would not be very nice or consistent to want to meet someone for dinner, while seeing someone else, even just sexually. I also thought she may have had a panic attack and reviewed our correspondence to see if there were any hints of that kicking in, or if something I said was out of line. Nothing. Maybe she had other contacts in PoF and a better offer, that certainly is normal in the online dating game. I felt a bit shrugged off no matter what the reason was, and realized I lost a friend about as fast as she found me.

I have discussed this with a friend and she had no answers or suggestions. I figured by putting it out here perhaps some objective viewers may see something written here or in my profile that fills in the blanks. There may be something I simply did not consider. Any input on this? I am open minded enough to concede I may have made a few mistakes along the line, feel free to point them out, liberally.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Did I mess this one up?
Posted: 11/15/2010 5:20:15 PM
His name would not happen to have been Richard Head, would it? I knew a guy by that name. And any name short of that kind of embarrassment should hardly have mattered. He may be an extreme control freak with an ego to match.
It is possible the exchanging of names or personal phone numbers may have freaked him out. I had that happen to me just this week but that is another story.
The odds are strongly that he found another catch or perhaps he already has a wife or GF. Did you happen to notice how long he'd been in PoF? OP, there are plenty of fish in the ocean and based on your profile and your pics you will have plenty of bites in your near future. I'd probably even nibble but you're not in my area! Best of luck!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
A drunken L bomb from a friend
Posted: 11/15/2010 12:58:07 AM
Ignore it. If he does not respect you enough to say it soberly and to your face, it must at all costs be ignored. Delete it from your memory and carry on as usual. Don't play the 13 year-old game, even if he just did! Respect!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How often do you mean it?
Posted: 11/15/2010 12:54:20 AM
It depends on the sincerity and intent of the man. I, for example, when I am enthralled with a woman or even married to one I try to time sincere compliments to when it is least expected. I find it has more value and is better appreciated. All men, and I do mean ALL throw on extra honey when they are sexually aroused. But I believe in sincerity. Best way to increase her sexual interest at the end of the day is to compliment her earlier in the day, before your bulge starts to show. Women never forget anything ever, and that is both a blessing and a curse!

There is a down side sometimes though. My recent ex wife has a LOT of insecurities, especially about her weight. It is hard to compliment a woman's body in this situation. She's got gorgeous features, despite her being built like a linebacker. She got tired of compliments about her lips, her eyes, her ears and her cute button nose. But I could not honestly compliment her body, and she knew it. And this is my fault why??? Basically she was a sponge and no matter what I said positive to her about her personality etc her insecurities took first place. And this is why she is my ex wife!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
mental stimulation?
Posted: 11/15/2010 12:30:13 AM
It runs two ways. Being clear about your intentions can stimulate her, if you are interesting to her. However, flirting is very popular and healthy. A little mystery aura around you can raise a girl's curiosity. Good secret from first contact through marriage is to have your little secrets and quirks. If you divulge everything about yourself and your life and dreams the interest level drops down precipitously, even if you both have similar aspirations etc.

I have been toying with both sides of this myself lately. I like to keep my reserves and secrets and be ever shifting, but too much of that is too passive-aggressive for my alpha prone personality. I run the risk of being overlooked on a contact or new aquaintance. I recently met a nice girl, very attractive to me, but I am holding out the friend flag for both our benefits. I'd enjoy more, but the consequences could be dire. I respect her too much for that. At 39 I'd sooner have a good friend than a good F.Buddy with nothing else to offer.

On the other side of things I let parts of my repressed alpha out on a couple women, including my ex and a nice pshycologist who initiated first contact with me. While I did not do crude crappy 18 year old sex talk, I let my passion for life and beliefs crack out more than normal. The ex wife was turned on, but she is my ex for a reason. The shrink handled the intensity for about 2 days then severed contact. Sigh, I thought she said she could handle it! Older women! Playing the in between field has labeled me a nice, dependable guy - they usually get crapped on till someone has a few kids and no daddy around. Screw that! That is why I am playing with both sides of it. It's all a gamble and I had an epiphany tonight, what if I met a gal as crazy passionate and sensible as me? I'd think I'd probably be intimidated but thoroughly intrigued. OP, you may want to pose the same exact question to yourself, would your approach interest you?
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Looking at the clock during sex.
Posted: 11/10/2010 8:17:27 PM
I cannot say that was ever an issue for me nor my partner during intimacy. I guess it depends on your mindset during passion, it would probably be a turn off for me if I had a partner who was timing stuff...
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Sugar Daddies/Mama's.......
Posted: 11/2/2010 9:38:16 PM
Well, I can't fault your openess. I would not mind a sugar mamma myself, but aint hunting for that kind of thing, prefer next gf to not be a minimum wage slacker with a brood of kids though!

Anyways, I would not let age be a big factor on finding a sugar daddy. You probably should not go for one that is old enough to BE your daddy though. I am told men in the 35-45 age range are prime real estate, and not just as sugar daddies. They tend to a)Have enough relationship experience to have a clue on how to maintain on b) Many have a career and plan for thier future c) They tend to bring more to the bed than a 20-something guy d) Thier testosterone has dropped minutly enough that they can think rationally, you know - like a human being rather than be driven by hormones.
If you go over 40 expect them to maybe have grown children.

I don't want to pass judgement but the need to have a good supporter is not usually good enough for a successful relationship. I probably would not even consider dating someone with your view unless you had similar goals and are successful in your own life. If a person can't support thier own or has tastes that exceed thier means I certainly would not want to be the one that provides it, they'd have to want to be with me for more...wholesome reasons. Good luck though!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Confused and don't know what to do
Posted: 11/2/2010 9:25:18 PM
My, you found yourself a doozy here dear! He's a club-dragging alpha male who has also happened to enjoy success, both in his career and probably his "love" life. He is a control freak and likes to be in a posistion of superiority. I have seen women who were successful in life try to pull the same crap on me, just because I am blue collar(but usually earn more than they do). You are an object to him, a goal. He has no regard for you as a person, let alone an equal. Release this fish asap and cut off ALL communication with his sorry ass immediately. If you don't you will only have yourself to blame for a certain disaster!

And why this talk about your ex? What makes you think he's good for you either? Are you insecure to the point where you HAVE to have someone? Let's look at these two options you've exclusived yourself to - the alpha male abusvie a-hole or the slacker ex. I mean come on sweety! If you have any dignaty stay single, get your stuff worked out in your own life, and start anew. There are plenty of fish out there, do not confine yourself to these head cases! Best of luck to ya! Cheerio!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Roxxxy and Rocky
Posted: 10/28/2010 7:22:24 PM
I find the concept of roxxy intriguing. Might actually be fun. But there is no element of challenge or risk with the robot programmed to please, and the challenge is part of what keeps women VERY interesting to men so I doubt they will ever replace women to any degree any more than a guy's hands will never replace a vagina!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
is he interested maybe?
Posted: 10/28/2010 7:12:41 PM
Overkill, definatly. But that does not mean he is not interested in you either. Don't fret it and go enjoy a haloween party and keep it simple! No expectations, you can work on a few conversation starters to stay engaged in convo with him but, again, don't overthink this one!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Flooding???
Posted: 10/25/2010 12:24:48 PM
If you are with a man who has no familiarity with this phenomenom, then he is probably too young and inexperienced. Guys really don't talk about this "other" orgasm(one of 3, actually). If you are feeling frisky and adventerous with a guy and you are at his place ask him if he has any rubber sheets(jk!) or at least make sure the top comforter/sheet is moved out of the way. My ex wife was what you call a "severe squirter" and we usually had a towel handy for underneath and for drying myself off if she got over-lubricated which was quite often. After all, some friction is nice!

If you are with a guy who is not familiar with this function you probably should explain it to him, maybe during the sex and assure him it is not pee(some women lose thier bladder during sex and it is an unpleasant burning sensation). Odds are that he will enjoy it.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
I over worry, but is it to late?
Posted: 10/25/2010 12:16:32 PM
OP, you are not in a place in life to accomodate a serious relationship at this time. Most women feel the need to be shown they are the priority in a man's life and it goes WAAAAYYY beyond a hobby like "predator hunting", whatever that is. I have had 2 ex wives who resented me putting my daughter and career in high priority, it is not that I made them "second fiddle" but I have a demanding career with no set schedule, pay is great, benefits are great and helps provide for my daughter. I was never able to just put them on a high pedestal and stand back and hold them there while I lose my career and become another homeless deadbeat father. Was it fair for them to hold that against me, probably not, is it fair that your ex held predator hunting against you - based on your post it does not seem your hobby was a full blown obsession yet, and it beats some hobbies other guys get into like drinking, womanizing, drugs, crime etc.

You are not equipped to handle your ex the way she needs to be handled, she should get some meds for the anxiety issues, she sounds exactly like my last ex, but that does not mean she is a bad person. She seems to have a good heart, but her priorities are not in order and she prob has issues with being alone or deserted. Best of luck!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Genuiness and Guarding our Hearts
Posted: 10/20/2010 1:54:10 PM
I agree with OP about being true to themselves and not letting past experiences season a new relationship by living in the past. My recent ex wife could not accept that I was who I always was on display, always suspected subversion and trickery where there was none. This was a preconditioning from her previous 15 year marraige to a sneaky porn addict. In all our time together, I had nothing to hide, no evil vices but in the end her lack of acceptance that I was just a good guy who was probably too blunt but with a good heart. I will NOT let this change who I am or my straightforward approach when I start dating again, but I will work on my tact!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
my dog attracts older women
Posted: 10/16/2010 10:17:56 PM
Dunno, that kind of dude/chick magnet faded in the 80s I think. Same with kids. If I See a cute baby with someone I dont know they'd look at me funny if I complimented the baby or talked to the baby. I walk my german shepherd or chesapeake bay retriver in my neighborhood most days, the few that see me coming usually move away to avoid contact, like the dogs are dangerous or something...then again it's probably me, a 30-something white guy with a dog walking thru an upper class neighborhood must be scary these days lol!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
More games and drama
Posted: 10/16/2010 10:14:07 PM
Just throw this fish back, I don't think you'd want it at this point, not where she has been and who she has been with in the last few days. Dude, it's definatly not worth it, women can be ***holes too. Move on!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 110 (view)
 
How can a man cum more?
Posted: 10/16/2010 10:09:09 PM
Could have sworn I posted on this already but there are excercises a man can do to cum more. When masturbating take yourself to near orgasm then slow down 2 mins then start again, do it 3-5 times then have the wet orgasm. Increases volume significantly, especially with regular practice. Also, drink lots of water!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
sex noises and talking
Posted: 10/16/2010 10:04:14 PM
The noises I make are usually not words. It depends on what the woman says. I dont mind some chatter but if it is stuff like "Did you cum yet" or "not so deep!" or "you're better than my ex!" - that kind of talk turns me off..
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Would you get involved with this woman?
Posted: 10/16/2010 9:55:11 PM
You'd be hard pressed to get involved with that family. There is clearly some co-dependent mental issues and you'd probably be seen more as either a redemption trophy or a new scapegoat. Forgive my cynacism but going thru a diviorce with a broken family with a similar background...
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I'd love to get a female perspective
Posted: 10/14/2010 9:42:44 PM
Ironic indeed...
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Card and Gift Giving
Posted: 10/14/2010 7:53:52 PM
Dude, don't give cards and notes and stuff, women save that crap for future evidence if you break up with them. "Don't you remember when you said we'd be together forever" "Umm, no" then she pulls out a shoebox and says "Well maybe this card will refresh your memory." That's why they buy so many shoes, they just need the boxes to save all the stuff you give them!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Long Distance Loss
Posted: 10/13/2010 1:35:08 AM
Quite frankly, you dodged a big bullet here. His own mom mentions he has anger issues. But the timing of the dump is a bit questionable, overnight he goes into total rejection mode. Oftentimes it means he found another hookup.

My very best advice for you, and I hope you follow it is cease all contact with him, period. Besides this being healthy for you and it helps begin the healing it will probably cause him doubt and insecurity. You owe him that much. See, you did the nice thing by doing follow up and plead to him, his anger increased. Take it from a control freak, if you step off and stop all communication it'll probably screw him up. Don't answer his calls or emails etc, move on lassie, don't you be knowin' there are plenty-o-fish out there just awaitin' for you to scoop them up!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Help! Please!
Posted: 10/12/2010 9:44:45 AM
Sorry, keyboard dont work very well, consider limiting yourself to just THREE negatives is what I meant!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Help! Please!
Posted: 10/12/2010 9:43:01 AM
Overall your profile looked good, for a Canadian lol!

It was a bit wordy but kept my attention enough to read through it so that is probably not a big issue. When you listed your dislikes in a man it seemed too standard-issue, you could have shortened that list, consider limiting yourself to just negatives. Many of those in the list are assumed virtues anyways ie you really don't know if thier honest until you spend time around them.

I'd say you may have to give it more time or...gasp....scan guy's profiles and maybe initiate first contact. It's probably be breaking a few Canadian laws but I have heard what happens in Ottowa stays in Ottowa
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
So....help!
Posted: 10/12/2010 9:28:44 AM
Very good profile, good grammar, good spelling, and well organized. You kept it positive, good. Your choice for main picture was good, the one with your horse would also be good for main pic. It was good to mention you don't have or want children of your own, that is important to mention. You're Lutheran, but I guess in Minnesota that is not suprising. ELCA by chance...

Pehaps mention your tastes in music, art, reading, food.

If I was alraedy activly seeking to date and I saw a profile like this in my area it'd get a message from me lol!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Another review
Posted: 10/12/2010 9:21:59 AM
It was hard to get past the horrific main picture with you and a bunch of headless people, too distracting. Crop them out or delete that one.

I won't criticize you for trying to start your bio with a joke, but the image of missing teabags was, once again, distracting.

You may want to switch to decaff before righting out a bio, while there was some pertinent information it seemed just a tad disorganized, you may also want to consider expressing your desires/intent more and what you find attractive in a mate. Best of luck!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
what does this dull person think about ?
Posted: 10/12/2010 9:14:12 AM
He's probably guarded cause he does not wan't a "mail order bride" and you have all the mannerisms of one m'am.

Why would you want to date a guy from the boring state of Ohio when you've got guys from "Guangdong" Just the name alone sounds exciting, Wish I could say I was from "Guangdong"! Stick to the local men, besides your economy is doing better than ours atm anyways!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Instant family
Posted: 10/12/2010 8:46:40 AM
RE"yes I know all that but as you know women do make mistakes" /faints...say it aint so!!!

That's the way they all became the Brady Bunch! Sorry, could NOT resist!!!

Seriously, appears you guys rushed it. He had to get divorced to adopt, exactly what is his relationship with his ex

How does he juggle work with 4 kids who apparently live with him, do you do nanny duty/ I am not trying to sound negative, but not sure how he found time to find a "special" person with his current situation and he, like some women in same situation do throw out a line and reel in the closest fish to fill that void/need. That is not to say it won't work out but it'll need a lot of extra work to be feasibe vs hooking up with a guy with less strings attatched. Best of luck!
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Giving up the habits.
Posted: 10/11/2010 5:39:56 PM
Since I am exiting a marraige and planning on some serious solo time I have been pondering the question. Ex says I am Asbergers, I'll settle for slightly crazy. I guess a habit of mine I'd like to change is my aversion to social situations. Also I am probably a bit too particular about little things like eaving dishes laying about or not rinsing them or leaving lights on or leaving the heat pumped up too high or parking car in garage so close to mine I need a freakin' can opener to get into mine or not putting the remote control in a hard to lose place or always barging into the bathroom unannounced or putting milk/juice back in fridge empty or with just a swig...

Other than that, there is really not much I'd like to change. I'm loyal, ambitious, secure, confident, and caring - half of these traits were an issue for my ex...
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 140 (view)
 
How to find out penis size
Posted: 10/11/2010 3:01:37 PM
It's a matter of style in asking a guy, and it's a matter of class on how a guy will answer. Not all guys that are not strutting thier stuff are average or small, from what I hear it is quite the opposite most of the time, only club-dragging alphamales brag about it, take some bimbo home on this one "accompishment" impregnate them, then dissapear to a new county looking for a new hookup.

As a matte of fact, I measure in at....let's just say above the 6" average in all dimensions. I have NEVER made it a bragging point and rather enjoy the reactions of a woman when we first get intimate. But a gal who once slept with me, and who had to cut the session very short went telling our mutual circle of 12 friends about my equipment. I should have guessed she said something early on by the jokes they were making towards me. Eventually the "big" alpha of our circle of friends kept daring me to "compare for beer". I never have been into displaying my properties to any man, except my doctor so kept declining the offer. Drove him nuts(no pun intended). He was like a inescure little boy and even went so far as to grab my crotch once. I never liked him too much so I threw a table into him.

Anyways, being average or even on the slightly small side need not be a curse, if effectivly used it wont matter, so I am told. And you don't have to worry about sending a woman to the emergency room with internal damage...
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Talking bout Rings, and weddings....BOOM she with another guy
Posted: 10/10/2010 5:43:41 PM
I've seen this scenario over and over again while In the Air Force and Army(yeah, I did a two-fer). This category of socially outgoing and "liberal" female tend to gravitate towards military men, some become "army wives", and you know thier rep. Could you honestly say she would have been any different than the stereotypical bad military wife, monogomistically challenged etc...No, I did not think so. They prey on having "security" but a man who has a higher calling that keeps them out of thier hair days or months at a time. There is a story if you search google of a woman who married 12 men, wrote bad checks etc, drained them of thier resources then split, and she is only 25 I think. Count your blessings you did not marry this skank. I've seen her type mingling outside post or at the PX, like hookers.

Dude, I am sorry you had to learn this lesson, and it should be a reminder to the femme-bots lurking in the shadows of this forum that pretty much everything bad they have to say about men also applies to women, at least men are more elemental '). You're 25 and have a good future ahead of you, keep working on that education and take your time finding the next GF, and keep in mind not all people can handle the demands the military had on thier S.O. .
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 129 (view)
 
How to find out penis size
Posted: 10/10/2010 5:32:47 PM
Sooooooo, is there a way to find out the size of a woman's "equipment"
 
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