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 Author Thread: On being 39...soon-to-be 40
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
On being 39...soon-to-be 40
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:48:13 PM
From B.E.D.
Another Centennial "Project" here as well.....
I was dreading turning 40 and it has been on my mind the last couple of years. But 2007 has been the best year of my life. I have found the love of my life, I am starting a great new job after Easter weekend, I have a fantastic 7 year old daughter, and an awesome new 5 year old little buddy. I got a second chance, to start my life over. 40?
Pshaw!!! I feel like I'm 20!! (except after chasing the kids, bodies don't lie unfortunately)
BTW, BD now you are officially a "Cougar".
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Stupid Expression/Questions we use without thinking....
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:20:07 PM
I stand by "Is it cold enough for you?" when it's like freakin' -25 out or something.I feel like answering "No, I wish it was an additional -25 degrees" Same thing for when it is hot in August... "No , I wish I could be sweating even more than I am, and that the temperature would be an additional 40 Celcius plus the humidity...."
That has got to be the ultimate stupid question. Also homeless people asking for "spare" change. I don't have any "spare" money, period.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Child Support OR Family Support
Posted: 3/27/2007 9:10:18 PM
S_C here:

I always thought part of child support (not that I've gotten a cent of it this year and maybe $300.00 tops last yr) was so that the child would have a home life close to what it would have been like if the parents had stayed together and that's why it's based on the NCP's income.

But feel free to correct me if I am wrong.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
New features..................
Posted: 3/26/2007 8:23:09 PM
S_C here:

I am now tracking the thread about paying more for Timmy's coffee thread... if you click on the history link under our profile pic - I *think* that you will then see the thread(s) I've selected to track thus far.

Try it out :>

 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Get ready to pay more for that Timmies coffee !!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/26/2007 7:17:58 PM
B.E.D. here...
Personally, I make $10/hr at my job. It is a skilled trade, and certainly very difficult at times. I am not using physical skills, but mental abilities more than anything else. I have not had a raise in 4 years. Why do I stay? I am a single father and need the job. It doesn't take Einstein to figure out what I make a month, working a 40 hour week. My rent takes up over 3/4 of my monthly pay. I pay $ 925/month. Many people will say, " get a cheaper place". Fine. I would love for me and my daughter to live in a one bedroom batchelor "dump". I guess it's wrong for me to want my 7 year old to have her own room. Plus factor in gas, which has gone crazy in the past four years, car insurance, groceries,phone, cable, and my one guilty "pleasure", the Internet. Oh, and maybe a treat for my daughter once or twice a month. Like taking her to "Dollarama". Or McDonald's once a month. I have very little left over. Thank God, I don't smoke or drink. As for being "educated", I went to college for what I do, as well. The way my work is, minimum wage will go up, so in a couple of years, I'll be back to minimum wage. How wonderful! And I have close to 20 years experience in my trade. So where do I cut corners? The raising of minimum wage only works if other wages are adjusted accordingly. There. That's my 2 cents.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Working In Retail, And Trying To Provide Customer Service
Posted: 3/26/2007 4:05:43 PM
S_C here:

Not going to comment much on the sale business... though that issue does happen with CTC and Best Buy a lot in my opinion...

But re-thinking customer service is a damn good idea.

The customer is always the customer and deserves respect but companies need to stop training customers to behave poorly.

How do they do that?

The louder someone complains, the more most companies will bend over to accommodate them.

We wouldn't let our children behave that way so why is it ok for adults to be rude and unseemly and then get whatever it is that they are whining about?
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Get ready to pay more for that Timmies coffee !!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:53:19 PM
S_C here:

Ok everyone, hold on to your hats...

Lyrical_girl said:
I think the focus has to be on rent control and affordable housing...
and I agree with that!

In fact, when I first replied to this thread I believe I said that I thought there ought to be a freeze on hiking up the prices of renting. Not sure what my exact words were and I am currently too lazy to pop back and look, but that is something I think is important.

As well - NDLT I also agree (and mentioned in my first post to this thread too) that if the minimum wage goes up then I think that everyone who is employed at minimum or more than minimum should get an equal increase.

When the min wage went up - I make slightly more than minimum and I didn't get a raise so if this continues, as the min wage goes up, I will end up making minimum wage whereas when I was hired I was getting a bit more than that because of my experience.

Does it piss me off? Why yes, it sure does BUT in retail - you are usually underpaid but that's what all my experience is in and I can't go into management again because I cannot work nights and wkends since - with my son having autism, I am expected to pay a sitter $10 an hour - which is more than I make.

When it comes to money, I've never had much of it. I was raised lower-middle-class. My dad worked long hours 6 days a wk as a fuel oil farm agent and my Mom stayed home and took care of me and also did some babysitting to bring in extra money.

I started babysitting when I was 10 and got my first retail job when I was 15 and I've been in retail since (with some time off to be a SAHM).

What I think would make sense would be if rental prices had a reasonable cap on them.

If everyone paid in the same percentage of their income towards taxes so long as they made over 25,000 a year. So whether you made 30,000 or 300,000 you'd still pay whatever the percentage would be.

I also think health care needs to be improved. Dental and mental health care most of all. As these are two areas where many things are not covered and re: mental health their are often long waiting lists.

If we, as a country, invested more in making our citizens healthy -- they would then be more productive.

And when people make enough money to have a safe place to live and decent food for their children - it makes them happier which also will make them (us) more productive.

Why is it that the healthiest food costs the most and the cheapest food is crap that's going to make us unhealthier?

Does that seem wise?

And yeah, I guess I tangented. And I don't know how much sense I may have made because this stuff gets my dander up and that means I don't always think as clearly.

But, so be it.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Paid Drug Trials?
Posted: 3/26/2007 1:51:06 PM
S_C here: Maybe I'm paranoid but those sorts of things always make me think of the book (and the movie) Firestarter.

Basically, I wouldn't want someone experimenting on me just to earn a few bucks.

If you were a smoker and couldn't quit and had tried everything - then maybe I'd consider it.


 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
New Feature - Favorite Updates
Posted: 3/26/2007 12:12:58 PM
S_C here:

I *just* noticed this feature but nope, none of my peeps have added naughty pics.

And I have to say I am glad of it.

(now don't go getting any ideas now kids!!!)




 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
call me crazy...
Posted: 3/25/2007 2:34:22 PM
From B.E.D.

Personally, I am 39 years old. I have a full head of hair, and absolutely no bald spot, or receding hairline. I'm clean shaven, no goatee. I only have a grey streak in my hair.
So all guys in their 30's to late 30's do not have the same "look". It's just your bad luck,
or pure coincidence. BTW, I'm off the market.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
WHY DO PEOPLE POST PICTURES OF THEMSELVES FROM 10 15 YEARS AGO??/
Posted: 3/25/2007 2:28:29 PM
From B.E.D.

I agree some people should have more recent pics of themselves. Recently my sweetie and I met someone at a POF party. No names, but she is quite the avid poster, and quite outspoken. I happen to disagree with her posts most of the time. But anyway, her photos on her profile, are definitely from "quite a few years ago" She is a bit "larger" than her photos and her profile would suggest.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Get ready to pay more for that Timmies coffee !!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/25/2007 6:52:07 AM
S_C here:

I just want to say that I think Allison said it the best:
I do not think it is unreasonable to expect that a full time job (40 hours) should earn you enough to pay for shelter, food and the other necessities of life. YES - I feel people should have a sense of entitlement when it comes to the necessities of life. If you work a full time job you should earn enough to be solely sufficient. Sadly though, with a low minimum wage that just isnt always the case. I stand firm in my belief that working full time should afford you the "luxury" of eating food, having shelter, health care, etc.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Get ready to pay more for that Timmies coffee !!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:20:23 PM
S_C here:

I think the minimum wage increase is a good idea though I think it ought to be mandatory that whatever the increase is gets added into your wages.

See when the min wage went up, anyone at the place where I work who was making min wage increased that what $0.25 whereas since I am making marginally over minimum - I did not get an increase.

So when min wage goes up to 10.25 if I were still making what I am now, I would just be bumped to 10.25.

Also, I think a min wage increase is good but I think they need to put a freeze on rental unit increases or the min wage increase still won't do anyone any real good.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Hamilton woman charged with spreading HIV at singles events
Posted: 3/22/2007 11:51:29 AM
S_C here:

That is horrible and irresponsible and yes, it sucks that she has HIV but it doesn't give her the right to try to spread it around!

Just as I think a male should be brought up on severe charges for such behaviour - it should be the same for any female who engages in such a manner.

If someone knows that they have HIV - then it's a crime to have unprotected sex without disclosing their condition beforehand.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
First Album/cassette/CD?
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:48:15 PM
From B.E.D.

There are a couple of albums for me, all right around the same time.
I'm pretty sure the first one I bought was Zenyatta Mondatta- The Police
followed by Damn The Torpedos- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
One of the first CD's I bought was Sudden Stop-Colin James
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Frist Album/cassette/CD?
Posted: 3/20/2007 12:45:27 PM
S_C here:

album - Blondie - The Tide is High single

cassette - Cyndi Lauper - She's So Unusual

CD - - Nine Inch Nails - Broken (yes, it took me awhile to get into CDs)


 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:33:10 PM
S_C here:

Holy crow, I have to say that justin -- I agree with your post...

I think that was a great analogy.

(I know, I'm scared too! )


 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 64 (view)
 
The empty chair
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:40:28 AM
S_C here:

I am pulling this thread back up a day early for me...

You see, tomorrow it will be 14 years since my Dad died of heart and kidney failure. And it happened after he'd had his second leg amputated at the knee due to gangrene (he had diabetes).

Today being such a snowy, blowy day here in KW makes me think of it even more.

All he wanted was Spring to arrive and the snow to melt.

He died early in the morning and by that afternoon, green grass was visible and it was a classically beautiful day.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
POF Wedding - Congrats to Leanne and Capeey
Posted: 3/17/2007 8:03:55 AM
S_C here:


Congratulations you two.

(i'll speak for B.E.D. here too) - We wish you all the joy and happiness in the world, on this special day until eternity.



 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Your Coolest Friends Feature.
Posted: 3/17/2007 7:45:40 AM
S_C here: I added 3 of the couples we have be-friended on POF.

But I agree with many others on having the option to have a link that says "see my faves"

And then, to protect those who want to have more privacy, every user could have a "do NOT show me on any show my faves list" option.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Select a Friend: What do ya think?
Posted: 3/17/2007 7:36:40 AM
S_C here:

I think it's a cool option but picking only three people is difficult so I cheated and instead of selecting three single people (since I adore all our single friends) I selected three of the couples on our list who have a joint profile.

Now if anyone else on our faves list goes the joint profile way - then I have no clue what I'll do

(so far I'm lucky that sweetnessc & Chuck and BeautifulDiaster and Willy Wonka & Kitchna and Al haven't combined profiles yet - to name a few)
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
3-Year-Old Child Mauled By Dog
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:54:55 PM
S_C here:

In the original post it says:
Police say the youngster was being cared for by neighbours at 506 Lanlark Drive just after 1pm, and was petting their friendly Golden Retriever.


So why were the dog owners (and babysitters) not paying attention.

This is not the fault of that poor child's parents -- they left their child in the care of people they believed would be responsible.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Is It Really THAT Important????
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:00:48 PM
S_C here:

There is NOTHING selfish about someone not wanting to have any more biological children

So long as a person is upfront about whether or not having (or not having) more biological children is a deal-breaker or not - then what's the problem?

And I've seen a few people mention wanting the immortality of having biological children.

smjle said:
You want someone to help care for and support your children and you offer nothing in return. Put your children up for adoption in a good home where they will be loved and cared for and maybe you will have a case.


But, as an adoptee, I know that you can love someone who is not biologically related to you and I am dating a single dad and I have no qualms in regards to how he and I feel towards each other's children.

So your inane and ridiculous comment re: giving up one's children for adoption frankly leaves me flabbergasted.

You don't make sense. If an adoptive family can love children that aren't biologically their own, then why do you appear to feel that a non-parent cannot love the children of the single parent they are hypothetically in love with?
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Supporting a loved one
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:35:54 PM
S_C here: I think it depends on the situation.

Both of my real (adoptive) parents are deceased (in fact it will be 14 yrs since my Dad died on March 20th)...

And my friends were supportive throughout those experiences (and in regards to my mother's illness and death, my friends were there for me far more than my ex was).

Though when it came to things like the funerals -- I'd have freaked if my ex had not come to the funeral with me, but with my friends... some of them I did want there and other ones I wanted to be able to cry with at another time.

What meant something to me was that they were willing to be there for me and emotionally suport me in whatever capacity I wanted... Just as I do for them.

Within my own family -- there were a few members of my family who I did not think spent enough (or any) time with Mom in the month before the end and that still rankles with me. But if they can live with it and themselves, then I suppose that's what counts, but it's just not my way.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Being Robbed at the Pumps ....
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:16:51 AM
S_C here and it's been 106.9 for over a wk.

Yes, the gas companies love to have the consumers bend over and take it.

It's bloody frustrating.



 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 214 (view)
 
Where do single mom's find decent men...
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:14:14 AM
S_C here (the female half):

Hey, I met my decent man right here on POF -- though it took over a year to find him.

And we (B.E.D. and myself) have some other friends from here on POF who met their mates here too.

It can work, but it very often takes a chunk of time to find the right person for you.

Good luck!
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Maternal instincts?
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:07:03 AM
S_C here:

OP, what you see as a non-functional instinct or myth is not how I feel or see it and not how every other poster will feel about it or see it.

I believe in instincts.

Whether they be deemed maternal, paternal or parental or something else -- some parents experience them, and others do not.

re: fight or flight -- it also happens in my life in certain circumstances. Sometimes when there is a real trigger and sometimes when there does not appear to be one.

Every person is an individual with different experiences so debating the topic can work, but don't expect to come up with an answer you will 100% agree with.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 210 (view)
 
Where do single mom's find decent men...
Posted: 3/12/2007 10:02:53 PM
From Blue eyed Dad:
Sorry I posted the wrong link. Anyway there's lots of single dads looking for good single moms, believe me I was one of them.
Single moms try here:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1595505.aspx

Hope you find your heart's desire. Good luck
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Priorities: New BF/GF vs children
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:25:01 PM
Re: SpiderHam77
And overall if that means I have to spend the next 10-15 years until my Son moves out and starts his own life, that I must remain single... So be it.. I would do it without any regrets at all..

Well, I have to disagree with your post. If that's the way you feel, then you should put this point in your profile, at least give women the warning, no matter how much you care about them, if your son doesn't like them, they are gone.
Of course your child is your top priority. I have a 7yr old daughter myself. But you can't totally exclude yourself and your happiness. Is it better for a child to see a parent who is single depressed, and lonely and wanting to have someone to care about? Being a parent, is very fulfilling. But just because you have a child, it doesn't mean you have to stop being a person. Your needs and desires do not have to be put on a shelf, only to be taken down some 18 years later, and dusted off. What about the child enjoying the environment of a happy family, even if it's with a new partner. And being able to learn what a loving relationship should be like. No, you are right. Our children didn't have a choice whether their parents should stay together. We as adults have to decide for them if it's better to stay in a bad relationship, or if it's better for the good of everyone if the relationship is discontinued. But I feel that you just can't blindly say "If my child doesn't like who I'm seeing, then my new relationship is over". You are conflicted in your outlook, saying you welcome a new relationship, but....
And you are going into a relationship already on the defence and expecting it to fail, or wanting it to fail.
It's about balance and letting your kids get to know your potential partner, you make it sound like you would be moving in together right away. You never stop being a parent, but you can't stop being a human being either.
From B.E.D.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Seeing someone who has died..
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:10:56 PM
S_C here:

I am going to take a stab at this...

I believe that all things do happen for a reason though I do accept that the Powers That Be within the Universe may assign the reasons in hindsight depending on circumstances.

I believe in Free Will as well as in Destiny. I think Destiny is something that spans all of our incarnations as there will be specific events and achievements and lessons that we learn throughout our varying amounts of lifetimes.

Those things are Destined.

But the journey itself, spanning all these lifetimes, involve our specific choices which bring us to the moments where our choices bring about (or delay) those lessons, achievements and events to span our lifetimes.

So the outcome, over multiple lives, will always be X but the amount of lifetimes we experience, and the number of times we have to go through certain experiences to learn some of the lessons will be unknown because that is defined within our Free Will.

This means that - it is always hard when someone dies, especially in a "It could have been me..." but for specific circumstances scenario.

A reminder that we all may take away from your experience would be that - we never know when it's all going to end in this lifetime. So we should make of it what we can.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is It Really THAT Important????
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:31:14 PM
S_C here:

Personally, I don't think it is that important.

If I did not have a child of my own (since I do have a son), I would have no problem dating a man with children (were I single) as I did do it when I was single.

BUT - when looking to date, your best bet would be to find a man who does not feel he must have a biological child of his own if you do not wish to have any further children.

When I was single I addressed it in my profile as follows:


- My open/undecided re: children is because I am willing to date someone who is a father or someone who is not a father though I can say that I do not currently have a burning desire to have more biological children of my own


Good luck.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 205 (view)
 
Where do single mom's find decent men...
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:19:43 PM
^^^^^^^You should read the next thread (http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts6804098.aspx). Lots of single Dads wondering the same thing. Good luck to you all. Keep your hopes up everyone. You just have to weed out the bad ones, to find your "right" one.

 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Single Dads: What do you want from the new woman?
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:09:01 PM
From B.E.D.
Well, I feel that if a couple is going to blend families there has to be an understanding between everyone. And I feel that the parents have to stick together and back each other up, and if there is a difference of opinion on say....discipline or punishment, the parents should discuss it, not have one person say, "Well he's my son/She's my daughter..." And the kids have to understand we are not
replacing their mom/dad, but that doesn't mean they can get away with everything. And the new "parent" is one who has to be listened to and obeyed, just like the "old" parent, (not old, but the "existing natural" parent)
and I feel the kids can use whatever term for affection or familiarity that they wish. If it's our first names
or "Daddy (name)" or "Mama (name)"or whatever,
as long as they understand they still have their Dad and their Mom.
I think a relationship is a partnership even with a new parental figure coming into the picture, and regardless of which child belongs to which partner, you are now a family unit.
At worst if the couple is ever at an impasse when it comes to discipline or punishment, the kid/s go to their room until the parents can come up with something.
Just my opinion, right or wrong....that's how I feel.

S_C here: (editing to add my 2 cents worth) -- I agree with everything B.E.D. said (we've discussed these things at length since we both have a child of our own) but I wanted to add that I feel it is essential to have parenting styles that are similar, the same or complimentary, otherwise you are in for an uphill battle.

And I believe in introducing the children sooner rather than later because you want to be sure your child(ren) will respond well to your partner and vice versa.

What we did was had the kids on the webcams with us and on the phone to see each other's child and talk to them and then B.E.D. met my son in our home.

After that, I met B.E.D.'s daughter in their home.

And since those things went well, this past weekend all 4 of us got together in my home and it was great :>
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Bridge To Terabithia, A Touching Fantasy Movie For Kids
Posted: 3/12/2007 4:58:28 PM
S_C here:

I *loved* this book as a child and I really want to see the movie and am debating taking my almost 5-year-old son to it (though he has ASD and I am not sure how well he will appreciate it).

Also, lyrical - I also loved "The Last Unicorn" as a child but I still love it as an adult... whereas "The Dark Crystal" lost some of it's charm for me as an adult.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
should pot and prostitution be legal ????
Posted: 3/12/2007 1:51:10 PM
S_C here:

I have to say that I fully support the legalization of both pot and prostitution.

Specific guidelines need to be set out, especially re: prostitution (age requirements, regular testing, housing [brothels] in zoned commercial areas perhaps...) but I think it would cut down on a lot of crime and then the government would collect taxes on them and there would be more protection for the sex-field workers.

Mind you, all that being said -- I'd never be involved in prostitution, but at least these young women (and men) would be safer.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Your own language...
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:01:14 PM
S_C here:

I make up words a lot of the time but two that get common usage by me and certain friends are:


mockment - part mockery, part amusement examples phrase being, "Let the mockment commence."

fauxmance - coined by me while with an ex-lover of mine. I believe he asked what to call our FWB arrangement and my answer was fauxmance.

 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Boring forums?????????
Posted: 3/10/2007 10:00:46 AM
S_C again:

The joking has stopped, in my opinion, because the mods are smacking down on all that. Hell, foxy roxy who made us all so giddy in the pants was banned for life.

That was the beginning of the end I think.

And I don't think it's the friendships that are the issue.

I think it's all the various posts that have come up here and there whining about the friendships and about cliques and about all that crap.

If more people were making friends and connections with other people then the sense of division that I've been seeing between a small portion of the singles (who tend to be rather negative) and some of the couples would likely not be occurring.

For the record - when I was single, I never begrudged the couples their happiness and I never declined going to an event because I didn't know if there would be any single men I might be interested in attending.

I was more of the mindset that if I chose to step out of my comfort zone and attend some events and make some FRIENDS, I'll be happier and guess what, I was.

And a lot of us were and that used to show in the forums.

But then topics like "what made you smile today" would get deleted. So it would be re-started and eventually deleted.

If they delete all the happy and fun stuff - why would people want to stick around because relationships need to be happy and fun.

Also, with all the negative posting - how many people are scaring away potential mates because of rampant negativity?
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Boring forums?????????
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:34:13 AM
I bet a lot of people are reading this and agreeing but are hesitant to post.

Also, there is a whole different "vibe" around the site lately and I think that rather than try and change it (and possibly get a smackdown from the mods) that many people are just filling their time in other ways.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Boring forums?????????
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:20:51 AM
S_C here:

I am *SO* with you on this one, SWO!!!!

It's completely true and not only are the forums inherently boring and redundant much of the time - they are also really b1tchy and negative much of the time as well.

The more positive threads get deleted or buried with all the other B.S.

And I really do not have any suggestions to help this at this time.

I'm just thinking it's getting time to move on.

I have ways to keep in touch with many of my friends from here. And there are still the parties... I think that's the main reason B.E.D. and I are still here.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Airing Your Dirty Laundry
Posted: 3/10/2007 8:30:49 AM
S_C here:

jennifire - if this is happening, you need to go to the profile and click the "report user" button.

As for airing dirty laundry... I think I've been fairly good about not doing that sort of thing on the forums (as in not bashing some of the players and liars I encountered before finding my sweetheart).

I can get rather personal on here. And sometimes I resist and sometimes I just go with it and I have gotten a number of emails over my time here on POF when I do reveal some really personal things.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 140 (view)
 
What is your favourite secret song?
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:43:47 PM
From the S_C half:

My Oh My by Aqua
anything off the first few albums by New Kids on the Block
2 much booty - Da Musicianz
Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake

And I have to giggle at B.E.D.'s answers since I like the BeeGees too!
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Funniest inventions out there?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:40:01 PM
I think that "Flo-Bee" hair cutting thing is pretty weird. Also the Spray-On Hair from Ronco.
Man, I would shave my head before I'd put that stuff on....."It looks so natural".....yeah, like spray paint on your head looks "natural"....
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 139 (view)
 
What is your favourite secret song?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:26:21 PM
From Blue eyed Dad
I'm embarassed about this.....

Dancing Queen -ABBA
Pretty much anything by John Denver
In my house - Mary Jane Girls
Give it to me baby- Rick James
The Pina Colada song
Any Bee-Gees Song

I got more but I'm going to go crawl away and hide my head in shame now....
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 156 (view)
 
Now That Country Music is cool.
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:02:40 PM
"I believe that is the 8th sign of the apocalypse ... thou shalt bring forth a gathering and lo there will be bad hair and music will play, with many screeches and howls "

That's too funny Dante

From the guy side:
Ummmmm.....no. It wasn't /isn't/ever will be cool. I like a few songs from Brooks and Dunn, and George Strait, and I love Johnny Cash, Marty Robbins, and some "Old School" country....but it ain't cool in my books. BTW, Shania Twain is mainstream not country. And the Dixie Hicks can rot in you know where....I'm sure my better half will feel the same way... Say NO to Mullets and Plaid. Down with Rednecks!!!
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 139 (view)
 
Foods you loved as a kid, that you STILL LOVE!!!
Posted: 3/9/2007 2:52:30 PM
From BED:

Anything that says Chef Boy-ar-Dee on it....especially Ravioli. Yummy!!!! Cheez-Wiz on toast or an English Muffin. KD for sure, although I don't put ketchup on mine. Ok, I'm weird...
Sweet Tarts, haven't seen any for a while. Cap'n Crunch cereal, love that stuff!! Cream Soda pop, Orange Crush, any kind of potato chips....and those orange popsicles we used to get at Beckers's long ago...Black Licorice---I don't like red....Told you I was weird
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
calling childrens welfare
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:09:32 AM
S_C here again:

Mayor asked:


is it fear, or are these names always used to discribe synonyms, beause these are what they are most likely to hear out side the home.


My point is - I think children should know the real words. I think by neglecting to use proper terms like penis and vagina we are influencing our children to get the idea that their private parts are something to be ashamed of and not to be spoken of.

I didn't know the real words until I was quite a bit older. And I think I should have been taught when I was younger.

Knowledge like that offers a form of protection.

Because my parents never taught me the proper words and they also never talked to me about good touching and bad touching and we weren't to touch or talk about our "bits" and I never told them what was happening to me.

With my son, I taught him the words. I've talked to him about good touching and bad touching.

I've encouraged him to tell me anything.

And I think he's safer because of that.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
calling childrens welfare
Posted: 3/9/2007 5:47:08 AM
S_C here:

I think you did the right thing.

And I am appalled that the mother wasn't more interested.

One other thing I want to comment on is why are some parents afraid to teach their children the real names for their private parts?

"cooter" and "firehose" I think were the terms used in the original post.

If the child reached out for help elsewhere - maybe she wasn't taken seriously because of the language used.

My son is going to be 5 and he uses the terms "penis" and "vagina".

And I think that even if someone might assume a child was lying - hearing any 4-year-old say that anyone touched their vagina might make an adult sit up and take notice and get the child some help.

Because those sorts of events at that age can have a life-long effect.

And I can say that because things happened to me when I was that age.

So OP - you did the right thing.

And for anyone who WOULDN'T report something like that...
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Daylight Savings Time........this weekend
Posted: 3/5/2007 4:16:06 PM
S_C here:

Canada is doing it because the United States changed when they were going to begin Daylight Savings Time and we followed suit.

*rolls eyes*

I wish they'd just leave time alone. Period.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Child Discipline-Parents Of Today
Posted: 3/5/2007 2:39:07 PM
S_C here:

Urban - I am glad to hear that you reported this woman.

I am a parent and we all have our bad days BUT the events you describe are disturbing to say the very least.

Hopefully this will be followed up on.
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Mommy?
Posted: 3/5/2007 6:13:12 AM
I think packagedealx3 got it with:

You might think of some names in advance so you have some suggestions but you should sit down with her and tell her that you are so happy that she wants to call you mommy but because she has a mommy, that just doesn't sound right. 'Maybe you and I could think of a special name just for me?' This acknowledges the gift she has given you and also allows her to help make the decision rather than having her overtures rebuffed and not moving beyond calling you by your first name, something that is obviously important to her.


For me, I just met B.E.D.'s daughter this wkend (and she turns 7 today) so I am not faced with this sort of thing at this point but, my ex has been living with his gf and her 2 kids for over a year now and my son still calls her A____ (her name) and calls her children his step-brother and step-sister.

It would kill me if I heard my little man ever call A___ Mom or Mommy because that's me and no one else. Though re: custody and time spent in each home I completely understand that it's different for you guys.

But I think it's wonderful that she loves you so much.

Oh and on attending the soccer game - I think it was a pretty good call, though if you'd had a chance to discuss it with NDL's ex-wife beforehand - it would have been nice if you could have attended but with the ex being the wildcard - you made the right choice (in my opinion).

B.E.D.'s daughter had a bday party yesterday and she asked me a few times if I could go and I gently told her that I could not and that I had to go home and pick up my son but that we would all do something special together next time (and I gave her one bday present on Fri and one on Sat).

Because B.E.D.'s ex is not overly impressed with me meeting their daughter and I was not going to be the catalyst for any sort of strife when celebrating a little girl's bday.
 
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