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 Author Thread: Ok guys, what gives?
 westlin
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Ok guys, what gives?
Posted: 4/5/2010 2:13:09 AM
Maybe it's just the online thing. I have been on and off this site repeatedly. I get disgusted with either the lack of activity or just the opposite, many many guys emailing. The weirdest thing is a couple of years ago when I did this, the guys would barely email, wanted to talk onthe phone quickly and would talk and talk and talk. But, meeting was very difficult--they either never seemed to get to that point or they cancelled or a couple of times, just didn't show, then called with all sorts of excuses, set up another time, then didn't show again. They were always shocked that I said "no" after 2 no-shows. The guys that actualkly showed up for the dates, many ended up being nice dates--a couple went on for a little longer, few months at least, some not for more than a few dates, for various reasons (ususally just no real chemistry, although twice turned out they were married!). Now, I started trying this again afater a year or more, they guys email, say they want to talk on the phone, I give them my number, tell them when I'll be home--they don't call. When I talk (email) to them again, they have all sorts of excuses, some get mad that I would actually expect them to call after they assured me they were definitely going to call. I don't know what is going on with men, but I see lots of the same behavior. Apparently, many men onthe site aren't here to actually meet someone--maybe they just like getting email, I don't know. Irritating, non the less.
 Westlin
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 129 (view)
 
THE CHANGE! ie Menopause.. How did it affect you or you other.
Posted: 3/13/2010 6:33:05 AM
Most women I know going through menopause don't lose their sex drive--it may change in ways, but lost, nope! I do have a friend who blames menopause for her loss of interest in sex with her husband--but, she has really just begun menopause (in early stages) and she lost interest in sex several years ago. Turns out it isn't loss of interest in sex due to menopause, but loss of interest in her husband (can't say I blame her as he is abusive). I know personally (not finished yet, but ...) it really hasn't affected me much at akk--just less worry with monthly stuff, fewer times a year to go through PMS, and one or two mild "warm" flashes --nothing like the hot flashes I hear women complain about. But then, I am just doing it natural--no trying to stop it or anything-just live with it.

Like others said, if there is a total lack of interest, there are things that can help--most women wold want help to restore their sex drive. Just my opinion.
 westlin
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
the last- Best You Ever Had
Posted: 12/15/2009 9:12:40 PM
At 45 years of age, I lost my soulmate. While I have met some men I felt much for since, never anyone even close. A part of my soul died with that end, maybe to never heal.
 westlin
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Does your town or area offer any groups for older singles?
Posted: 10/20/2009 6:35:11 PM
I live in a very small town. There are activities for kids up until about age 12, then nothing. Then there are activities for those 65 and over--one senior citizen center, has bingo, 5:00 pm dinners ($3.00 type), a few church singles (65 plus) groups. That's it. I volunteer but it's with a domestic violence task force--mostly women. Also, I don't get off work until after 5 pm so those senior citizen center dinners are out! LOL

I'm only 52--too young for pot holder making classes, too old for college-town bars/clubs. Otherwise, Wal-Mart is pretty popular on weekends, at least before 10:30 pm--after that, they lock all but one door and there's a deputy guarding that door--I mean, only bad criminal types are out after 10:oo pm on Saturday nights!!!! A date and I actually got run out of the parking lot of the local DQ at 9:30 Saturday night. Not exactly a dating mecca!
 westlin
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 197 (view)
 
Liberal vs conserative
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:51:02 PM
I have recently had a somewhat similar experience (except the cute part LOL). I had been talking to a man; he seemed nice if a little rough around the edges. Not cute, etc. But he was fun to talk to and had been calling me every day! I suppose he felt more comfortable and his real thoughts had began to come out--he started telling me jokes, something he was fond of doing -- however this time they were jokes using very derogatory racial slurs. Then, to add to it, the president was brought up and how he is in the white house only to bring about prophecy leading to the last days and the end of the world as is written in Revelations-- the apocalypse!!

I put in my profile that (1) I don't like racial slurs or intolerance and (2) I'm not a h*llfire and brimstone type of girl-that I respect others whatever their race or religious beliefs. Even after I said I didn't like that sort of language (never mind the content of his conversation) he continued to talk in a very racially derogatory way and proclaimed himself to be much smarter than I was about politics since I was just a woman and women don't need to get into all that political stuff!!

Okay, he is making more money than I am because he is in a very in-demand trade profession and I am in the social services field (a field that makes me feel good but isn't particularly wealth-building). He stopped calling (okay as I didn't want to pursue a relationship with someone who thinks like this), but before he did, let me know that using racial slurs (puerto ricans, blacks, chinese, etc. all have "special" words that he uses--I won't even repeat the names as I NEVER use those types of words!) was perfectly normal and did not mean he was racist--he had acquaintances of different races. I don't think he calls them those names to their faces though!

While this isn't particularly about politics (although that was also brought up as part of the conversation), it is in the same vein--not only did he totally ignore what I said in my profile, he found it necessary to put down and ignore what I told him I felt in person. Someone who is so directly opposite to my beliefs and also devalues my feelings would never work--same thing goes for the OP's friend---so he is cute but he was very intolerant of her beliefs and feelings. It's one thing if you don't agree on every issue and can debate (politics) in a civil manner and still respect the other person's right to believe the way they feel. It's quite another when you try to push your beliefs on another as the right way to think and feel.

Seems to me that quite often, people *guys in particular* don't read or pay any attention to what's in someones' profile. Also seems to be some sort of "murphy's law" that attracts people so totally opposite in every way to other's beliefs on POF!!
 Westlin
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 300 (view)
 
do you look like your pictures?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:41:10 AM
I look like my pictures--they aren't from yesterday but not that old either. The only thing that has changed is my hairstyle--but even that isn't that different (I change my hair from month to month sometimes I swear, just something I do--cut it shorter, hate it, grow it out, looks messy and shaggy, get it cut a different way, etc.--been doing that most of my life!)

I usually get told I look better in person (I take terrible pictures--the ones on here are actually very good for me!). Most of the men I have met (in the past actually as I have only recently re-activated my profile) "resemble" their photos (one actually looked just like his pictures) but have some differences, one in particular looked like he had just walked out the backwoods when I met him rather than just a decent looking working guy like his picture (picture: clean cut, jeans, ball cap; reality: shaved but with thin raggedy grayish hair growing down past his shirt collar--and balding on top, nascar shirt with a weird smell--car smelled too though). I think most people are trying to put a decent picture on, but not everyone photographs well--sometimes someone can take bad pictures but look nice in person or vice versa (take great pictures but not so good in person). Of course, there are a few who look completely unlike their pictures but seems those are the exception, not the rule.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Disability and the womans perspective?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:36:07 PM
OP, I'm sure there are plenty of women who would date you. They need a chance to get to know you. However, it's probably not a good thing if you hide your disability until they actually meet you. I have dated two men with disabilities--one didn't let me know he had MS until after several dates--I could tell something was off, but wasn't sure what--even thought maybe he had been drinking heavily (balance, slurred words, etc. The other had injuries from a (drunken) motorcycle accident--the injuries didn't cause many if any problems in the relationship--just the drinking and drugs (which it appears he never stopped despite saying he had). Be honest--if someone cares for you, they will be with you despite your disabilities--if they see only the disabilities, tjey aren't right for you. Good luck.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What Have We Come Across That Was Good In The Opposite Gender?
Posted: 8/16/2009 5:13:50 PM
The men who work hard to support their families.

Men's scratchy beards or 5 o'clock shadow.

The sheepish look on their face when they're caught doing something romantic.

The awe and fear when they first hold their newborn child.

The way they can hold you and make you feel safe.

The little spot on their chest/shoulder that is the most comfortable place for your head when you're sleeping.

Their expression of wonder when you let them know you find them so so attractive and so dam* sexy!

The way they sincerely believe they can make/put together/repair anything (even when they can't or you can do it better).

The way they toss their children in the air while the moms gasp and the children giggle with joy.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
All time best blow offs, keep it fun
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:30:51 PM
I won't give up my pot for anyone--and you can't make me. I will stop the drinking again but not my pot, no sirree!!!!

(from a supposedly clean and sober alcoholic and addict).

I thought when you said you didn't do drugs, you meant you only did them a little bit; everybody does drugs. (same guy)
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Do men and women really enjoy wet sloppy kisses?
Posted: 5/2/2009 3:02:55 PM
Wet sloppy kisses? I don't enjoy a man leaving my face wet--that isn't a good french kiss--he needs to learn to kiss better--I have had some men kiss so wet they slobber all over my face--n0t sexy. BUT, a real french kiss, with soft lingering kisses on the lips, building to open mouth clinging kisses, then venturing to exploring each other's mouths more deeply and slowly--oh yeah, I definitely enjoy those. A good kisser is a very important to me--if he can't kiss, it's hard to get really into him.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Living solo
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:57:57 PM
I have to agree with many of the others--I kind of like living in my house, eating what I want, watching the tv shows I like, playing my music (whatever I like, whether you think it's corny or whatever) as loud as I like when I like. I don't necessarily need or want someone here all the time---I was married for 23 years, been there, done that. I wouldn't mind someone to go out with, someone to call and talk, someone who could spend time at my place SOMETIMES and I could spend time at his place SOMETIMES.

Yes, it's nice sometimes to wake up and find the special someone there beside you and it can be nice when you come home and there he is, just being there, not doing anything special.

However, I find this hard to find--I either attract men who disappear and come back and disappear OR, what is more common for me, men who talk love after 2 or 3 dates, talk about marriage and moving in together within a month or two--way too soon--they act like they're 16!!!

Maybe its just being older or maybe I'm too independent--who knows? I hate that I have to choose to either be smothered or alone--way too sad.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Does your town or area offer any groups for older singles?
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:51:48 PM
Although this thread was started a long time ago, it seems the same thing applies for people these days--the last two posters--I have to agree with the premise of this thread. I live in a small town, nothing much to do--a few activities for kids (usually only tiny tots, nothing for teens or above age 12) and a senior citizens center with activities for people over 65 (age requirement applies evidently). I am only 51 and don't want to go to clubs/bars (not there are a lot of them here) and don't want to go out with 70+ men from the senior center (they do have a new class-Mah Jong--wow!!)

I am active with groups I am interested in (at least as much as possible as mostly they are groups for the wealthy "ladies who lunch" crowd--junior service league types, not real women who work and struggle to pay bills, etc.). But, most of the groups that do exist are women--not too many men except the shriners clubs.

I have about given up--small town life stinks!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Overweight and dating
Posted: 2/16/2009 3:03:54 PM
In my profile, I put down that I am a few pound overweight. This is the truth--it was something that happened the last year and 1/2 or so. I never had a weight problem in my life until then. I tried, I dieted, I exercised, got a personal trainer (who often didn't show up when she said she would, incidentally)--everything--weight didn't go away, just got worse, got so so so so tired, depressed, aching joints, on and on. Went to doctor after doctor, was told I was just getting old, accept it, I was just lazy and eating too much--made me feel great (I am 51 )!! Finally, I went to my gynecologist for something else, mentioned all my symptoms, plus he noticed my weight gain. He checked my hormone balance and thyroid. Lo and behold--my thyroid was barely functioning and my "female" hormones had practically disappeared (mainly because the thyroid problem). He put me on synthroid and a hormone replacement patch---WOW!!!! I feel like I lost 10 years and have actually lost a few pounds in a month's time--bloating is gone, slowly sliming down (with nothing different than the medication).
Sometimes, despite everything, weight isn't under a person's control. Had I not had a good doctor, I was on the verge of heart damage and more organ damage. People who told me to eat less, eat correctly (I did 98% of the time anyway) and to exercise more, insinuated I was just creating excuses for my weight problems---now have to eat their words. Don't judge people until you know everything--you never know what is going on in their lives.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Age appropriate dress
Posted: 2/7/2009 9:11:12 PM
Age appropriate doesn't mean ugly---maybe not the "hootchi Mama" look. Truthfully I don't think extremely low cut slinky see thru tops and low rider jeans with thongs showing or miniskirts that barely cover the crotch are a good look for ANY age. However, cute styles, up to date, in attractive colors and cuts, are good for any age. I am 51 and refuse to wear only "age appropriate" (read, dull, unflattering, "old") clothing. Not that I don't give in sometimes (when I'm alone) and wear the comfy clothes that are so not sexy---but otherwise, I like to wear reasonably attractive clothing. Of course, once I was told I was dressing too sexy (by a lesbian co-worker whose work wardrobe consisted of tennis shoes, mom jeans, crew neck men's tee shirts, no makeup and extrememly short hair). So sorry, I'm female and like wearing makeup, heels and attractive clothing. Now, I do know a 80 year old lady who has taken to wearing tight jeans with pink rhinestones and low cut tops after her husband's death--not really appropriate (copies her 18 year old granddaughter's clothing). Not really attractive either--gives off a desparate aura. But, hey, she's got new teeth and new knees--guess she's feeling her oats, huh?? LOL Might be me at 80, who knows?
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
if you had a child and they were born mentally challenged, would you keep it?
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:17:56 PM
Of course I would--you love your children, regardless. Also, I worked for a short period of time with developmentally disabled persons--I loved it and if I could find a job working with them again, I would take it in an instant. Yes, it's more work, but then again, you don't ever know what you may have to go through with a "normal" child, so...geez.

Some of the sweetest people I've ever known had Down's Syndrome. They are, if anything, deserving of more love, not less.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
No pets please! I rather be single.
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:13:33 PM
Goodness--of course, to each his own. But, I have always had pets of one sort or another. I have to say, my cats and my dog have outlasted a lot of guys. I don't like the hair they shed or the fact that they make messes sometimes around their food. As a rule, there aren't any bathroom "accidents" either--they're all house trained. Yes, sometimes they have stinky breath and if I don't wash my dog often enough, she can start to smell like a dog (but then again, if I didn't wash myself often enough, I would start to smell bad!!). What they do for me--they are so, so happy when I come home everyday, they insist on sitting close to me, they don't care if I'm fat or skinny or if I have on nice clothes or ratty old things; they love me when I look good, they love me when I look bad. They love me when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I'm happy--doesn't matter, they love me just the way I am. And I love them---even when they annoy me. Love usually works like that.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
have you contacted your ex after you left them
Posted: 2/2/2009 8:34:58 PM
I did contact one--a guy I dated for 6 months. He gave me a birthday gift even though at that time, we were no longer dating. So, a little later, when his birthday came along, I sent him a birthday card. Just, I'm sorry things didn't work out, but you're a good guy, Happy Birthday. I thought it was just the right thing to do--no wishes to restart the relationship but just because I had cared and he had been nice to give me a gift on my birthday.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 229 (view)
 
stupid things that scare you
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:24:57 PM
Bugs that land in my hair--spiders, flying bugs, any kind of bug that could/would get in my hair----uggggghhhhh!!

Weird clowns--when I was a little girl, a carnival came to town every year. One of the attractions was a glass walled maze--you got in and ran into dead ends, etc. that you couldn't really see because of the glass (also some of the walls were mirrored, that sort of thing). Right in the middle of the maze, inside a glass booth, was a crazy, laughing automated clown figure---the scariest thing I think I had ever seen!! Not terrified of clowns now, but still don't like them much at all---"shiver"

Melting demon/devilish people--from a movie I saw once when I was younger. All the people in this town were being taken over by demons--when it began raining (apparently caused by something the hero did), they would melt---slowly. Had nightmares for a long time after that movie!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Ever thought your Zodiac sign could be intimidating to others?
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:16:45 PM
Well, I am a Leo--which indicates a strong, "fiery", bold personality. Does it hold true? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I guess if someone was really "in" to astrology, it could be intimidating but... That said, I have had some out-of-this-world connections with Libras (and major heartbreak as well), some major fireworks with Leos (in a good way LOL) and some very, very bad times with Virgos. Was it their astrological sign? Who knows--I know I don't fit totally into the Leo description (and yes, every part of my sign is Leo) so I seriously doubt that others completely fit their "sign" either. Just my opinion. :)
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 370 (view)
 
Whats the Best Accent you've hear that you love... and why
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:25:09 PM
French, English, Australian, Scottish (yeah, can't understand one word, but sounds really great)...oh, and Irish (different from English and Scottish). And, yep, have heard them all at least once. Almost forgot, someone from West Africa speaking English (so proper, yet slightly different from an English accent). Goodness, didn't realize there were so many LOL
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 186 (view)
 
So you don't want to get married again, now what?
Posted: 12/7/2008 1:37:35 PM
I am 51 and I've never said I didn't want to get married again. I've only been married once (23 years) and it wasn't all bad, just some things ended up happening that brought it to an end. That said, I would consider marrying again, some day, after taking the time to REALLY know someone. Hoever, I seem to have met lots of men in my age group who want to go very, very fast--"I love you" after a few dates, "when we're married" after a few months (2 not 8 or 9), "I want us to be exclusive" after 2 or 3 dates--men seem to want to move way way too fast. At my age, with experience and hopefully a little tiny bit of wisdom gained, I wouldn't want to go into marriage quickly, but as for ruling it out completely, nope. Just, this time, it's gonna' be a longer courtship (yes, courtship, which is a necessary part of the whole process, whether people think so or not). Whether the relationship progresses to lots of visits or eventually moving in together or part time living together would depend on the persons involved and the circumstances. But definitely moving toward at least the possibility of marriage some day, in the future, down the road, etc., etc.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 252 (view)
 
worse thing anybody said to you before they broke your heart.
Posted: 11/6/2008 5:02:28 PM
One week before we were to get married--he calls, "I need to tell you the reason I didn't call a couple of nights last week--I went out to a bar and this girl I dated 2 times before we ever met (she was dating another guy at the time also and decided to move in with him, but he kicked her out recently and she hasn't got a place to live, just been staying with various friends)--well, she wanted to go to my house and f***, so I could, and I did. But, I love you and still want to be with you--the reason I did it was just because 'I could'. It didn't mean anything, really. You're the one I want to be with always, I love you. The next day, well, she has already moved in and you haven't. I know you have already quit your job to move here and transferred your child's school records, enrolled him in school here and I know I said I loved you and wanted to be with you, but, well, I love her now (after less than 2 weeks) and she is the woman I want to be with always. You are the most wonderful woman I have ever met and you deserve better than me. Oh, and I know they will give you back your old job even though they have hired someone for the position. I will send you a check to make you feel better. But, no I won't return any of your possessions--I have already given them to her, including your lingerie." SICK! After a years relationship, proposal of marriage, declaration of love in front of practically the whole world. Nice, huh?
(Found out about a month later, he had actually been diagnosed as a sociopath--ex military--also on probation for domestic violence against his 3rd or possibly 4th wife--and, no, I didn't know there were that many exes--he lied about almost everything other than maybe his name).
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Halloween: an apple and a looking glass
Posted: 11/6/2008 4:39:41 PM
This is based on a very old tradition/superstition. Does it work? Who knows? Do Tarot cards work? Are psychics real? That aside, would I try it? I'm not sure--what I would be afraid of is that the face revealed would be someone I lost and had no chance of ever reuniting with. How sad would that be? I don't think it would really work, but.....
PS I'm not necessarily looking for a husband either, but a life-long love, yes.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Mood changes and the color of autumn
Posted: 10/25/2008 5:25:49 PM
Some people do become sad in the fall and winter, as another person wrote, SADD. I, however, love autumn! (Hence the name-autumnwind) Although I was born and raised in the southern USA and grew up without AC, I really don't do well in the intense heat of summer (and often spring here). When the weather starts cooling off and the leaves turning--my spirits soar!!!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Long past relationships
Posted: 10/25/2008 5:01:53 PM
One relationship, I wanted never to end and thought a long, long time about trying to contact him again---but it ended because he cheated and lied and a lot of other things that destroyed all trust. It was a very, very good relationship until the truth came out. Would anything have ever changed? NO. So, although I loved him deeply, I know I could never trust him so it would never work no matter what I fantasize.

One other guy from about 9 years ago--yes, I have thought about it, even looked him up once (still have the address in a drawer somewhere). But, the problem then was distance and the distance is still there (and probably even more of an issue with the price of gas, etc.)

But, I still believe contacting a past love can work, but only occasionally. Most of the time, good or bad, the relationship is past for a reason.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 107 (view)
 
What Keep You Trying?
Posted: 10/21/2008 4:44:09 PM
What keeps me trying? Insanity, perhaps? Just this morning I was snuggled down in bed, hitting the snooze button for a few more minutes sleep when into my mind came the thought--how nice it would be if right about now, a man's arm reached out for me and snuggled me close. Wouldn't need to be anymore even, just the companionship, knowing there's someone there to talk to, to share life with--I guess that's why I keep trying. I was married for 23 years and it wasn't all bad, in fact a great deal of it was very good--but I am not looking for someone because of that relationship; it's been nearly 10 years since my divorce. Just looking, hoping for someone to grow old with.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Intellectual Attraction
Posted: 10/21/2008 4:34:25 PM
I would love, love, love to meet a man with whom I could discuss more than Nascar and fishing! Trouble is, it rarely happens. Has happened twice in my lifetime, but one moved across the country and the other was a sociopath--very intelligent sociopath, but a sociopath when all is said and done (and yes, he had a diagnosis-ex military, pilot, sharpshooter, who knows what else).
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Should you tell how many times you have been married?
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:09:09 AM
My opinion, you don't need to put how many times you have been married on your profile--however, it should come up if you have a couple of dates. Some people have a problem with it, some don't. You say guys are sometimes upset and rude about the multiple marriages....well, I have had experiences with guys who are upset and rude about the fact that at age 51, I have been married only 1 time (for 23 years)--they figure something must have been really weird for the marriage to end after all that time. Some people are going to be rude and upset about just about anything. No need to put EVERYTHING in your profile or spill it all on the first date, but, yep, down the road--honesty is important.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Male Pattern Baldness or Shave It All Off Or Trim It Short (Your Head Only) LOL
Posted: 10/12/2008 6:55:47 AM
Some guys look good completely bald, some don't--just depends on the man. But, the worst looks have to be the comb-over or letting the remaining hair grow long and shaggy (apparently to prove they do still have some hair) ---ewwwwww!! If you have partial baldness (i.e., the horseshoe), keeping the rest of the hair short and neat is usually the best choice, at least in my opinion. :)
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 661 (view)
 
Favorites List?????
Posted: 9/30/2008 7:15:58 PM
At one time I was on maybe 20 guy's favorites list. I kind of thought it was pretty cool at first--until I just kept being added to their lists without ever hearing anything from them! Only about 3 of them had ever emailed me or anything so I deleted the ones I really didn't know--who knows, maybe I wouldn't want to be on their favorites list if I had known them!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Ever run into a POF'er in person that rejected you online?
Posted: 9/30/2008 7:08:21 PM
Not somethat rejected me but actually had one lunch date with a guy from here. It was okay but he barely talked, no sparks, no "connection." He was a lot of work just to get 2 words out of--too much work!! Didn't see him again but he turns up at my workplace needing an appointment to do a psychological evaluation for----sex offender treatment. Seems he was convicted of child molestation. No wonder I wasn't his type!!!!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Don't I at least deserve a phone call?
Posted: 9/28/2008 11:02:52 AM
Yes, you do deserve a phone call, at the least. However, I have had the same sort of thing--one after asking that we become exclusive (2nd date). I said I wasn't ready for that, we had another date and several phone calls every day!! We set up another date for a Saturday, he called Thursday, everything great--eager to see me Saturday, Friday no call, Saturday no call, no show---rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, just plain out there! Anyone with whom you have had more than 2 or at the most 3, dates should at least call or email or something so you are left wondering.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Renaissance Festivals
Posted: 9/28/2008 10:29:59 AM
Other renfest addicts!!! Huzzah!!

I attend the Georgia Rennaissance Festival in Fairburn, GA every year (in costume). I have wanted to attend the Alabama one but its about 5 hours away and only goes on 1 weekend (end of October). Won't happen this year as money is tight, gas is expensive and my daughter (who got me started on this stuff) is having a baby in November--always next year!! Oh, just to show how addicted I am, I bought my yet to be born grandson teeny tiny little pointed toe elf shoes that lace up to wear to his first Rennaissance Festival LOL.

Can't wait to don those many, many layers of clothing and spend the entire day in 90 to 100 degree heat while being accosted by mundanes asking "aren't you hot in those clothes?" Of course, the sweat running down my face probably means I'm just a wee bit warm!! LOL

I would love to meet people in the west central Georgia/east central Alabama area who enjoy renn fests too!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 217 (view)
 
People who just write how are you
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:21:17 PM
I have gotten a few of those--not that bad, at least sometimes it got the conversation started. However, I had one guy who emailed me regularly and even asked me out a few times--still sent an email every day saying, "How was your day?" That's all he said, over and over--never a return email acknowledging anything I replied to his "How was your day?" Weird--didn't talk much more or any more in depth in person either. A short first email--okay, continuing short emails--kind of limiting.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
What do you do When No One can See or Hear you?
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:11:17 PM
Talk to my dog and cats (actually talk to them all the time anyway), turn the music up really LOUD, dance like a crazy person (really shy about dancing in public but you should see me when I'm home alone!!!). Watch really shallow tv programs, play on the computer, make lists of all the things I SHOULD do but never really get around to doing, eat strange combinations of food. Outside, watch the wind blow and the clouds float by (or the stars if it is night). :)
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Why do people want to commit after one date?
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:28:43 PM
This is something I don't understand either. I haven't had anyone ask to be exclusive after 1 date, but after 2--yep (more than once). I don't tend to date multiple guys either and I make that clear from the beginning, BUT I definitely am not going to commit after 1 or 2 dates--geez, I don't know anything but very surface things at that point--way way way too fast!! Maybe they're scared you will throw them over for the next best thing?
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
One week after a meeting, he wants to come to my house
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:12:40 PM
OP, he wants sex or he just has some way out-of-line boundaries (or lack thereof).

You're not comfortable with what he's suggesting and you feel pressured. He hasn't really managed "real" dates--go with your instincts.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
ways to fool drug test for pot
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:05:40 PM
Hi folks--ways to fool a drug test, hmmmmm? There are things you can try but they're expensive and their effectiveness is "iffy" to say the least. As to why a test result that comes back as "dilute" is a fail--well, the only reason for most people to have a test that is so dilute that is shows on the test if that, well, they' ve been drinking extremely large amounts of water/juice/etc. in an attempt to not test positive when they have been using. A lot of places still use urine tests, but they can be very comprehensive; the hair test is expensive but goes back quite a while. My information source--my workplace where we conduct alcohol and substance abuse groups and drug court LOL

Not using is a lot cheaper and easier than trying to figure out how to fool a test--you might want to give it a try someday!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Renaissance Festivals
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:57:22 PM
Other renfest addicts!!! Huzzah!!

I (along with my daughter and her husband) attend the Georgia Rennaissance Festival in Fairburn, GA every year (in costume). We have wanted to attend the Alabama one but its about 5 hours away and only goes on 1 weekend(end of October). Won't happen this year as money is tight, gas is expensive and she is having a baby in November--always next year!!

Can't wait to don those many, many layers of clothing and spend the entire day in 90 to 100 degree heat while being accosted by mundanes asking "aren't you hot in those clothes?" Of course, the sweat running down my face probably means I'm just a wee bit warm!! LOL
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Breast feeding makes your boobs sag?
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:39:36 PM
I can't speak for everyone but I breastfed both my children---my daughter for 11 months, my son only for about 4 months but my breasts didn't sag from it. In fact at 45+ my breasts were pretty darn firm (and I'm a 38D so....) Okay, at 51 now, I am noticing a little looseness and not as perky as when I was 18, but dang.........not that bad :)
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:34:33 PM
OP, maybe it isn't so much that 50+ women want to stay single but that they want to have a relationship develop and deepen over time instead of jumping into a quick committment only to find the feelings change when the "new" wears off. I have had a real problem with men on here wanting really really quick committments (I'm talking anywhere from the second date--yes the second date!!!--to a few months). Maybe I'm weird, but 2 or 3 dates (nothing sexual yet either) does not a relationship make...so maybe it isn't so much that women want to stay single as they want to make sure the relationship is right before they consider a lifetime committment. Just my opinion :)
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
How long does it take men to fall in love?
Posted: 8/23/2008 2:25:37 PM
One date, evidently--from several experiences I have had. Of course, some of those also fall out of love very quickly! Love? Nah--lust, yep! LOL
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:12:30 PM
OP, I have had almost the same thing happen to me. However, I have only turned 51 recently and many, many men expect me to be retired. I really don't know what they expect me to be living on at this age--BUT, they expect me to be able to drop everything and be available at any time. Incidentally, several of the "retired" men were actually disabled and living on SSI. However, a few weren't retired, still working, but at a level where they didn't have to punch a clock, could pretty much make their own hours and they also were upset at the fact that I work. None of them offered to pay my bills though....go figure! LOL
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Non-Religious
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:00:33 PM
I have non-religious on my profile. It means that I am not particularly fond of any organized religion and don't attend a church regularly. I do have beliefs but they don't always fit the mainstream ideas. I am truthfully a very spiritual person with good morals but have had too many experiences with too many so-called "good Christians" to wish to conform to a rigid belief system. There isn't a choice of spiritual so non-religious hopefully keeps the fundamentalists and bible-thumpers from contacting me. Maybe this will help you understand. :)
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 7/10/2008 1:49:26 PM
Dated an alcoholic and addict. Believed him when he said he wasn't drinking or drugging. Turned out it wasn't true for either thing. I finally had to face up to the fact that I didn't want a boyfriend, fiance or husband who used drugs and should have said so way sooner. I should have spoken up a lot sooner about several things, but I didn't want to be perceived as not being "nice" enough.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 82 (view)
 
When someone points out that you're old..
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:04:52 PM
Hey, I'm almost 51 and I'm not old--I'm wise and wonderful!!!! Woe to those who dare to say otherwise!!!!
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Precious moments
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:01:58 PM
I sure hope so--my first grandchild is due in November. I plan to love it and spoil it, then give it back to Mama and Daddy when things get too crazy!!! LOL
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
The age of 50 watershed for dating.
Posted: 6/19/2008 3:55:49 PM
For me, the age range has nothing to do with there being something wrong with a guy past a certain age. Truthfully, I just add 5 years to my age and subtract 5 years from my age to get a reasonable range. I didn't before and got replies from 20 year olds (eek, my son is 20!!!!) and 70 year olds (nothing against older guys, but I'm only 51--a little too much of an age difference for me). I have answered messages from guys a little younger and a little older than the ages I have on my profile, so it's isn't necessarily a way of ruling guys out, just giving an idea of the ages I prefer to date most of the time.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Next day phone calls
Posted: 6/19/2008 3:18:30 PM
Personally, I LIKE next day phone calls!! All the rules about how long to wait to not look too eager, etc.--phooey!! I don't necessarily want a guy calling twelve times the next day or something, but waiting for 3 or 4 days just seems silly to me. Just my opinion.
 autumnwind
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/19/2008 3:16:12 PM
I agree, there seems to be little romance in dating today. Maybe I am silly, but the little things are what make me sit up and take notice. When a guy buys me a rose (just one will do, it can be from grocery store for a couple of dollars) and gives it to me when I'm not expecting it (for no reason). When he calls just to say he was thinking about me....things like that make all the difference. Maybe its just that the world today moves so fast that people don't have (or make) the time for romance (and that goes for girls as well as guys). Romance is a major part of dating for me.
 
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