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 Author Thread: What men do
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
What men do
Posted: 8/2/2012 2:50:44 PM
Considering my user ID I debated with myself whether I should weigh in on this topic, lol. For what its worth, not all "bring home to mother" type women are boring in bed.

I think some people that put up with craziness-long term craziness and not the fun kind-may be addicted to the drama. There is always something to get your heart pumping, a rush of adrenaline even. You become accustomed to living each day like this. Life becomes boring when every thing is "normal." But like any addiction or bad habit it eventually takes its toll on you, physically, mentally or both. You finally get to a point that you realize that you can't take it anymore, that the relationship is too toxic for you and you get out of the relationship.

Another thought I had...
I consider myself mentally stable. I also have an out there sense of humor and am not worried about doing things in public that some people would shy away from for fear of embarrassing themselves. I want to laugh and I want other people to laugh as well. I have been told that I am a bit crazy but a good kind of crazy. What one person may consider crazy, another may consider fun.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
silly fantacies
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:29:38 AM
I have always had a thing for Zorro, even as a kid. I loved those old black and white shows. Then in 1998 The Mask of Zorro came out and I had a new sexual fantasy. I thought Antonio Banderas was good looking but until he played Zorro I had never fantasized about him. It wasn't until the scene in which Zorro and Elena danced that I began to cream over him. I adore a man that can dance. So perhaps this isn't a fantasy about the celebrity himself but the character he plays.

I am asleep in my huge canopied bed dreaming of the masked Zorro when a noise awakens me. I sit up a little and look around but its dark and everything outside the mosquito netting is just shadows. One of the shadows moves closer and I can make out the shape of a man. Fear sets in and in the strongest voice I can muster I demand, "Who's there?" In answer I hear a scratch then the smell of sulphur as a match is lit. He brings the match to a bedside candle and lights it. His black clad figure is revealed as he moves aside the mosquito netting. I know right away this is the man I have been dreaming about. "What are you doing here?" I demanded. "Answering your invitation, of course," he replied. I stared incredulously at the masked man standing before me. "Invitation? I issued no invitation. Leave before I scream for the guards." "Oh, but your body issued many invitations when we danced. I could feel the invitation as your body rubbed against mine. Hear it as your breath entered my ear. See the invitation flashing in your eyes." In feigned outrage, I stand on the bed and demand again that he leave. "You do not really want me to leave." I move forward to shove him away from the bed but he grabs my hands and pulls them behind my back, pulling me closer to him. He leans forward and nuzzles my belly. I can feel the heat pooling between my legs as I struggle to get away. Yet still I do not scream. Before I realize it has happened, he has tied my hands behind my back. I finally open my mouth to scream and a piece of cloth is shoved into my mouth. My eyes widen with a mixture of fear and excitement. He pulls me down on the bed and I kick out with one foot, a useless move as he grabs my ankle and uses the momentum to swing me around and force me onto my belly. "So you want to play rough, do you?" he asks. "I like to play rough too." I feel him grab the hem of my thin nightgown and hear the sound it makes as he rips the material away from my body. Swiftly, before I have a chance to recover, he delivers five stinging smacks to my bare bottom. A strangled sound escapes the gag at each loud smack but against my will I can feel the wetness trickle down between my legs. With horror I realize I can smell my arousal and I know that he can too. He bends down and slides his tongue on the redness of my ass cheek, soothing it. I feel his fingers dip into my wetness and I moan as he begins to rub up and down my slit, to my clit and back again. He then delivers five more stinging blows to the other ass cheek. I become increasingly excited with each blow. He bends down once again to give this cheek the same treatment as the other...

Sorry, can't finish this story, too graphic for this site, lol.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
The Demanding Customer
Posted: 5/15/2012 1:11:34 PM
I think there is a difference between being demanding and making unreasonable demands. I am going to demand (politely ask) what I want, a Caramel Mocha Frappachino light. Will I be unhappy if I don't get it? Of course, because it wasn't unreasonable to expect that I would get a Caramel Mocha Frappachino light. Its not as easy as straight up black coffee but its entirely doable. Its only when making unreasonable demands, like asking that they only use cream from Belgian cows that you might assume that the customer is looking for some drama.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Heavy petting in semi-public places, LOL
Posted: 5/14/2012 9:36:14 AM

quote: under the table at dinner....Yes I once did the famous foot thing, LOL
What famous foot thing??


I forget the movie off hand but when the woman, sitting across from the man, took off her shoes and started fondling his "package" with her stocking feet under the table!


Was it Flash Dance?
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 5/14/2012 9:19:55 AM
My local library has 50 shades so it must not be too hard core. They won't carry the Lorelei James books I like.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 5/13/2012 9:26:43 PM
Haven't read it yet but plan to. My sister loved them, says they are calling them mommy porn. If you like these you would probably enjoy books by Lorelei James, seriously hot.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
What would you say if your guy wanted a threesome...
Posted: 5/11/2012 1:42:35 PM
I have known women that have performed sexual acts with another woman just to please their guy. I have known men that have performed sexual acts with another man to please their girl. They weren't attracted to the same sex but did it to make a fantasy come true for their partner. Does that make them bi-sexual? I don't happen to think so but that is just my opinion. I believe that in order for someone to be considered truly bi-sexual they have to be attracted to the same sex.

As to the OPs question, I wouldn't be interested in watching my guy with another guy. Its not a turn on for me. If I had two naked guys in the room with me I would want to be selfish and have them both pleasing only me and not each other. I have had a few guys tell me they were interested in being with another guy and that usually ended things for me. This was in the early stages, sometimes before we had even met in person, if a long time partner asked me this I honestly don't know how I would handle it. Probably not well.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Would you date (get in a relationship with) yourself?
Posted: 2/16/2012 4:36:23 PM
While I have core values in myself that I would want in a partner, like kindness and consideration, basic honesty, intelligence and a great sense of humor, I would not want to date a male version of me. I would want someone that compliments me, is the yin to my yang. Someone that was organized to my disorganization, someone that would spoil me because I won't spoil myself, someone who can give in gracefully when they are wrong (and sometimes when they are right, lol,) someone that will take charge in the bedroom because I lean to the submissive side.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Naughty pictures to the wrong number
Posted: 2/14/2012 10:35:45 AM
LOL, how embarrassing. So far no mis-texts but hey, with my bad luck its only a matter of time.

I have however been the recipient of a mis-text. A fairly attractive woman sent me a boob shot and some very detailed instructions on what she wanted done to her. I texted back, said wrong number. She didn't believe me, thought I was her friend messing with her, lol. I then snapped a quick shot of me laughing in the grocery store where I was when I got her text and sent it to her. We exchanged a few texts in which she apologized profusely and expressed how embarrassed she was. I responded, no problem and I hope you get what you wanted, lol.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Fell Hard Too Fast
Posted: 2/12/2012 8:51:11 PM
If he loved you as he claimed he did (I tend to doubt the whole love at first site and those that claim to love someone when they don't even know them yet, but I guess I have enough of a romantic side to consider that just because its never happened to me doesn't mean that its not possible) he would have heard you when you said he needed to slow down and should have been willing to give you the time and space you needed. I don't think it was so much that he didn't "hear" you as that he completely discounted your feelings. Your feelings didn't matter as much as his did. That isn't how you treat someone you love.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Squirting
Posted: 2/12/2012 7:53:14 PM

I wish it took me 15 seconds afterwards...I always have the feeling of having to pee but can't let go...he has told me to relax and it doesn't matter if I accidently pee but to just relax...I make sure I go to the bathroom prior but I still can't let go


If I put pressure on myself to squirt, if I am thinking about squirting, or if I feel as if I am being pressured to perform, it just won't happen for me.

Oh and one of the best toys (at least for me) to help achieve either squirting or the g-gasm is a glass dildo with curve in it.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Squirting
Posted: 2/7/2012 4:09:07 PM
I have no idea if every woman can do it or not. I tend to lean towards believing that its possible for every woman. I don't think a woman isn't normal if she can't. I can squirt; its something that I only recently have been able to do, but its not something that happens every time and when it does happen it looks nothing like it does in pornos. When a guy asks if I can squirt, I am hesitant to tell them that yes I can, because if I don't squirt with them, some will think that it wasn't good for me. That isn't true. Whether I squirt or not, as long as I orgasm it was good. If I feel there is any pressure on me to squirt, then it won't happen.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 168 (view)
 
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 2/2/2012 5:26:44 PM

Given the gist of the replies here, I think that'd be a safe bet, and a reasonable expectation. The impression I got from the OP, though, was that she was doing it as a, "I'll greet my friends the way I want to, and if you have a problem with it, it's *YOUR* problem!"


I didn't get that at all. He stated that he had never told her that it bothered him. He did admit to "testing" her which tells me that he is being immature and insecure. A jealous and insecure man will always find something to be jealous about. Right now its the way she greets men. Next it may be the way she smiles at them. He never did say whether she greets her female friends the same way or whether or not this is new behavior for her. If he did I missed it.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 115 (view)
 
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/2/2012 8:36:42 AM
Why are those things mutually exclusive? Nothing stops you from having sex when you want to have sex and developing a relationship when one develops. I've had several one night stands turn into relationships.



That means you're just helping to perpetuate that double standard.


I am not going into it thinking that this is just going to be a one night stand and then later realizing that I want more. I already know that I find more enjoyment in a steady relationship. I choose not to risk eliminating the possibility of much more enjoyable encounters later down the road. As for helping to perpetuate the double standard I don't think I am. I feel I have a better chance of changing that persons mind if I am around long enough for him to get to know me and see for himself that just because a woman will have sex on a first date it doesn't make her less of a person. Lets say that I do have sex on the first date and never see him again because he ascribes to that double standard, what have I accomplished? He will still ascribe to that double standard and I will have no chance of changing his mind, plus I will have yet another one night stand under my belt.

Edited to add:

In that case, you're accepting the rules other people impose on you and you have no reason to complain. As I see it, no matter what I do, someone won't like me because of it, so I might as well do what I want to do.


Of course I have the right to complain. Isn't it in the constitution? (JK) Seriously, society puts in place all kinds of rules and if I don't like certain rules I prefer to work within the system to change those rules. Open rebellion would be a last resort for me. That is not to say that I won't ever side step some of those rules.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 165 (view)
 
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:20:49 PM

Well, that'd be a problem. People need to think about the things they do, and the consequences their actions have on others, particularly people they're close to. "I didn't think about it!" wouldn't fly as an excuse with me, and I don't think it'd fly with any self-respecting man.


Of course I consider I consider the impact of my actions on others. Its a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek. I don't grab their ass and shove my tongue down their throat. To me that hug is akin to a handshake and a hearty slap on the back. Do you think to yourself every time before you put out your hand what kind of impact that gesture will make? If someone tells me they are uncomfortable with me hugging and kissing them, then of course, I amend that greeting.

As far as my SO is concerned (my imaginary one just to state my point), at least in my case, a hug and a kiss on the cheek as a greeting is a part of the culture I grew up in and I would expect my SO to understand that. I would be willing to make some concessions if it really bothered him but I would be very concerned that he didn't trust me and I would feel that he was trying to change a part of me that makes me the person that I am.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 113 (view)
 
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:21:32 PM

If you really had taken that seriously, you'd realize that you had sex with him because you liked him and wanted to have sex with him. Instead, you had sex with him because you expected something more than just sex. If you only have sex when you want sex and you don't expect anything else, you can never go wrong because you'll always get exactly what you expected.


So your answer is to never have any expectations so I won't be disappointed? That just won't work for me. I will always have expectations. I don't expect a guarantee of any kind of relationship. I do expect to enjoy the sex. I also expect not to be thought a whore because I want to enjoy sex even on the first night. I don't think that is too much to ask for.


Apparently, you both did do what you both wanted to do. Your objection is that you didn't get more than that out of it.


My objection was that he now considered me less than someone who would have made him wait.


What difference does it make if you read on the forums or found out through personal experience that there are men with that attitude? Does that change your mind about not wanting to date men with that attitude? If you don't want to date men with that attitude (and you shouldn't want to), then you don't want to, regardless of whether or not you read that there are men with that attitude.


Because I find sex gets better with someone over time, I would prefer a steady partner than a string of one night stands. If I play it safe and hold off I may not find out that he subscribes to the double standard. If I do find out later, I may decide that all of his good qualities out weight that. Also, while I know I shouldn't, there is a part of me that cares what other people think of me. So while I might not like rules, I will play by them.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 105 (view)
 
sex on the first date
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:20:27 PM
I hate all the games associated with meeting someone and trying to establish some kind of relationship. I don't want to play them but it seems I am almost forced into it. I don't sleep with every man I meet. Very seldom on a first date do I feel comfortable enough with someone to sleep with them but it has happened and when I did there was no second date. So now, if I really like someone and would like to see them more than once, no first date sex.

One guy even told me, after the sex of course, that he wouldn't see me any more because I put out too soon. Why did I have sex on the first date? Because I really liked him and wanted to have sex with him. The chemistry was there, we were both grown consenting adults and I had been honest about what I wanted out of a relationship. I had even stated that I did not want a one-night stand. Why shouldn't we do what we both wanted? But because I didn't follow some unstated time schedule on when its acceptable to put out I was no longer considered relationship material. I didn't have sex with him thinking that I would be getting a relationship out of it, I did it because I enjoyed his company. I guess it is a little naive to think that he would understand that me having sex with him that night was a testimony as to how much I was attracted to him. While I tell myself that I wouldn't want to be with someone with that kind of attitude, I have found, based on personal experience and what I have read on the forums of a few dating sites, this double standard (man is still relationship material after sex on first date but not the woman) is embraced more often than not. I even read about a key and lock comparison. A key that opens many locks is a master key. A lock that can be opened by many keys is just a cheap lock. What upsets me most is the automatic assumption that I opened for a lot of keys. Why are they not thinking that they were just the right key for the lock?
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 160 (view)
 
Is it OK for a wife to kiss and hug all her male friends.
Posted: 1/31/2012 10:09:52 AM
I am a very touchy feely person myself. I was raised to hug and kiss your friends and family. I hug people I have just met hours earlier. I do it without thinking about it, its just a friendly greeting. When it bothers someone I have to make a conscious effort not to hug and kiss. I have caught myself going in for the hug only to stop because I remembered that person doesn't like his or her personal space invaded. If this is the type of person your wife is, then I wouldn't take it so seriously. On the other hand if this really bothers you then you need to say something. Despite what you may think she can't read your mind.

I am also going to agree with all the others that say that "testing" her is very juvenile behavior. I found out a man I was seeing was "testing" me by sending me messages from fake men's profiles and seeing if I responded to them. He actually told me that I had passed his test. He told me this like it was some kind of compliment. I was furious. I then told him that he had failed at being a real man.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 80 (view)
 
WSRFR Asked a good question, Can men and women be friends 'after' having sex?
Posted: 1/31/2012 9:34:30 AM
I think so, depending on the people involved. Not everyone can handle being a friend after sex. I am friends with a few ex-lovers. They are great guys, but for various reasons the romantic part didn't work out. I think it also depends on how the romantic or sexual part of the relationship ends. I am not friends with every man I have slept with, some because I found out they weren't someone I would want as a friend and others because they couldn't go back to being just friends.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
I need advice
Posted: 1/24/2012 10:29:53 PM
I also feel that until two people have the exclusivity talk they are both free to see others and yes, even have sex with them. Life doesn't happen as neatly and conveniently as we would all like. Often times, I will go a few months without talking to a single person that interests me and then I will meet two guys that I am equally attracted to within the same week. However I am aware that not everyone feels that way so I am sure to ask about their feelings on the subject early on. I would hate for someones feelings, his or mine, to be hurt because our expectations of the relationship were different.

As for what to do to fix things with Guy #1, well there isn't much you can do but contact him and hope that he responds. If he does respond, apologize, not for seeing someone else, but for the fact that you weren't clear about your expectations.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
To tell or not?
Posted: 1/24/2012 9:20:45 PM
It could end up bad for your friendship whether you tell or not. If you don't tell her and she finds out that you knew and didn't say anything she may very well be angry. If you do tell her, you might end up being shot as the messenger. Its a tough situation for you. Perhaps another option would be to tell her husband that you know he was fired and that your friend deserves to know the truth. Tell him it would be better coming from him than from you. Give him a chance to come clean.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Dirty Talk
Posted: 1/18/2012 8:54:01 PM
Not all dirty talk is the same and different women will react differently depending on what you say. Ask her before hand if she finds certain things offensive. Does she enjoy name calling? While some women love to be called a dirty little cvm slvt, others will be offended or turned off by it. Also if its not something you are used to, you might feel a little silly at first. I know that it didn't come natural to me. Loved hearing it but was shy about actually talking dirty myself. But once I saw how much my partner enjoyed it my confidence built and now if I am enjoying myself I will tell you so in very graphic detail, lol. Start off by just saying how you feel, Oh that feels sooo good. Then get a little more specific and graphic, oh yes your pvssy feels so good. Turn it around, ask her, does this feel good? Then get more graphic, does my c0ck feel good in your pvssy. Pay attention to her reactions to see what works.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 703 (view)
 
Would you seriously date a woman or a man if they told you that they did not give oral sex
Posted: 1/9/2012 6:50:25 PM
Would be deal breaker for me. I figure if he cares enough about me he would want to give me that pleasure, just as I want to pleasure my man.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 403 (view)
 
Do women ever wear garters and stockings anymore?
Posted: 1/9/2012 6:48:21 PM
I love thigh highs and garters, they look great with the bustiers I have. But don't wear them for everyday, those are for special occasions.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 57 (view)
 
can a woman get spoiled by a BIG penis???
Posted: 1/9/2012 8:35:59 AM
I have been with the extremes in penis size, the best lover out of the whole bunch was average at best. He was inventive and made use of whatever was available to him. Making a women orgasm over and over again was a huge turn on for him so took the time to learn what worked. Yes, a larger penis can be nice but the guy can't expect his penis size to be the only thing he needs to bring to the table, or bedroom, for that matter.

I think perhaps she has gotten spoiled by not just a big penis but the combination of a larger penis and a guy with some skill.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Girls Boobs vs Guys Packages
Posted: 1/9/2012 8:16:56 AM
When I check out a guy I usually check out his face, arms and butt first. Occasionally I do check out the package but its not something that happens often and usually only because it happens to be noticeable at the time or someone has said, "check out the package on that guy!" One thing I have learned is that the size of the penis does not determine how good of a lover he will be so checking out the package is very low priority for me.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Bed Jumpers over Girls with Morals
Posted: 9/4/2011 11:35:48 PM
When I was young I had the belief that you should be in love in order to have sex. I also believed that if you didn't make a guy wait at least 6 weeks well then you were a slut. When I wanted sex I convinced myself I was in love. The result of that was two bad long term relationships. The second was with someone that I wasn't even sexually compatible with.

When I look back now I can't help but think how silly it was. These days I don't have a set time to wait, its just how long it takes me to figure out that I am attracted, both physically and mentally. I'm not saying I have never had sex on the first date but it usually takes me a little longer than 1 date. However, if by the third date I am not feeling it, then its just not gonna happen.

I still have morals. I believe in being honest about what I want from a relationship. I don't go out with someone that I have not had some small attraction to just to get a free meal or drinks. I don't have sex with someone I don't like as a person just because he is hot and I am horny. These are just a few of the personal values that I follow. Just because your morals are not my morals, doesn't mean that I have none.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 140 (view)
 
Friends with Benefits... WHY!?
Posted: 8/31/2011 3:01:00 PM
At this point in my life I am not ready for a committed relationship. I have some leftover financial baggage from my marriage I am trying to clean up plus I have three teenagers living at home. I don't think its fair to ask a man to take on this kind of situation, nor do I actually want a man to. I spent most of my life in a committed relationship and now I just want to enjoy some me time. I am not bitter against men, quite the opposite. I enjoy a mans company and I enjoy the intimacy of sex. I like FWB because I can spend time with someone that I care about, someone that cares about me in some small way and know that neither of us is expecting more than that.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
if your looking for sex, exit my profile
Posted: 7/7/2011 1:15:01 PM

has anyone noticed that when women put this on there profile and u go hang out with them... its just a smoke screen, or just weeding out some of the creeps tactic, cuz frankly, after ive met ppl that say that, one of the first things they want is sex, any similar experiences?


Of course we want sex, well at least I do, I don't speak for every woman. But while there are some women that are only looking for sex, most of us aren't. I want more than a one night stand. I want to enjoy the companionship of a man who I find stimulating outside of the bedroom as well as in it. While I don't have it stated on my profile, I have those looking for intimate encounters blocked, but as someone said, its really not effective and can easily be gotten around.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Wants girlfriend benefits without being the girlfriend?
Posted: 4/6/2010 11:05:45 AM
You say she just got out of an eight year relationship. I am assuming that she lived with that person for a good bit of that eight years. She is just getting used to being on her own again and it may feel weird for her right now. She is most likely not ready for a committed relationship but misses the companionship of living with someone, hence wanting the girlfriend benefits without making the commitment. That being said a month is too short a time to start talking commitment.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What do you call the in-laws after the marriage?
Posted: 3/22/2010 11:59:58 AM
Ask the In-laws what they would like to be called. I called my In-laws Mr. and Mrs. so and so as well. I never was invited to call them anything else and I was not comfortable just changing the way I addressed them to something less formal after marriage.

On the flip side my son's fiance calls me Mom and has ever since they started dating. As a matter of fact all of his friends called me Mom, male or female. Not sure how that came about, only thing I can think of is that they couldn't remember my name. It has always bothered me a little, I prefer to be called Ms. Michelle, Mom just seems to convey a closer relationship than I actually have with these people. I have always gotten the feeling that my future daughter in-law calls me Mom because she wants me to support her as I do my children.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 74 (view)
 
After A Month She Tells Me She's Pregnant - With Another Man's Child
Posted: 3/9/2010 10:48:04 AM
My son was in the same situation when he was nineteen. He was dating a girl for about a month when she found out she was pregnant for the guy she was dating before my son. Against my advice he stuck with her. When she was six months along she started pressuring him to sign the birth certificate even though he wasn't the father. The other guy couldn't be located (or so she says). Fast forward to the birth. She still kept asking him to sign but he refused thankfully, but he still stuck by her. In the next months she behaved as if he was the father, expecting him to take on a fathers responsiblilities, including giving up his time with his friends in order to take care of the baby. The real father still isn't in the picture, she has never made any real effort to get him involved in the child's life or to try to get child support from him. Why should she, she's got a baby daddy. They fought all the time because he wanted to act like a teenage boy and because she had to be a parent well then he had to as well, even though he wasn't the father. Fast forward a year. He wants to break it off. Guess what? She's pregnant.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
make it (her) go away!!!
Posted: 2/22/2010 2:28:16 PM
Harassment laws vary from state to state. OP has already stated that the woman has not threatened him physical harm. He isn't worried about his safety he is only annoyed. In California he would have no case for a Civil Harassment Restraining Order.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 598 (view)
 
Men Shaved???
Posted: 2/22/2010 10:45:50 AM

So after all this:

-- Infected ingrown hair
-- Tiny cuts on your skin
-- Entraceway to staph infections

You still feel the need to shave?

I've yet to meet a real-live woman who shaves her pubic region, and I certainly don't do it either. And sex -- including oral sex, hand-jobs, fingering, masturbating, etc. -- has never been difficult or problemsome due to pubic hair. Every now and then you get the occasional pubic hair in the mouth, and all you have to do is take your fingers and pull it out. Then, you continue licking. Seriously, that honestly doesn't require a great deal of effort.

Men in America have been shaving for at least 100 years, and women have been shaving their legs and underarms for at least as long. In all that time, no one thought to shave their pubic region?! Why? They just didn't realize how "sexy" it would have made them feel? No, of course not; it wasn't until the porn industry introduced this bizarre act of genital shaving in order to make the penis look bigger and to better see the opening of the vagina for the cameras that we got this abnormal obsession with hairlessness.

Then, this whole metrosexual craze took it a step further for men. Shaving the genitals wasn't enough. Now, men have to shave their chest, their legs, their face, their backs, their arms, their butts to come off as appealing to the ladies.

I'm sorry, but when you're going against the professional advice of your doctor to continue this myth of "sexiness," it is just plain peculiar. When you're even experiencing health issues (in this case, an infected ingrown hair), then it's entering the realm of being bizarre, eccentric.


Actually, I didn't say the ingrown hair was in my pubes. I responded because someone couldn't believe that a doctor said not to shave. The whole ingrown hair/tiny cuts thing applies to anywhere you shave not just the pubic area. I am not going to stop shaving my pits, legs and bikini area and I am sure that men would continue to shave their faces even after such an incident. A person would just become a lot more careful.

I think that the reason men don't end up with infections on their faces more often is because they use an aftershave with alcohol in it. I never did use an aftershave on my pits which is where the infection occured. I was also told that underarm deodorant can cause these issues as well but I'm not about to stop using that either.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
make it (her) go away!!!
Posted: 2/22/2010 7:49:45 AM
You cannot get a restraining order because someone is being annoying. They will only grant them if they feel that the person is a physical threat to you. Even when you do have a restraining order, law enforcement is very reluctant to get involved in domestic disputes. I know this from personal experience. My ex threatened to kill me, would show up at my home, stole my car, smashed in the windows, followed me around, and of course lots of phone calls ranging from annoying to threatening. Nothing was done to him until one night he kicked in my door, beat me and my son and then held us hostage for over an hour while he ranted and raved about how everything that was wrong in his life was my fault.

Even if he wanted to go that route, unless she threatens physical harm and he can prove it he will not be able to get a restraining order.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 596 (view)
 
Men Shaved???
Posted: 2/22/2010 7:18:21 AM



well i'll tell you what, medically you shave that region and it's all problems. trust me i know. i used to and had a problem once and the doctor looked at me and said...are you an idiot? that skin is so thin and sensitive down there...never shave it. so you want to look good or be healthy?


Um.... what?

Oh ok. I reread I think I get it. I'm just surprised that a doctor told you not to shave.


I had a doctor tell me not to shave after I ended up with an ingrown hair that became very infected. He said that in addition to the risk of ingrown hairs, shaving leaves tiny cuts all over the skin, giving staph a way into the body. I told him that I would most likely still shave so he said that if I was going to do it anyway to always use a fresh razor blade, no second uses, and to sterilize the razor itself. Rather than go to all that trouble I have switched to disposables.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
make it (her) go away!!!
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:41:38 PM
I see I took too long to post and you already checked into the restraining order. To block unwanted calls through Verizon, I found the following at eHow.

1. Go into your Verizon Wireless Account on-line. "My Verizon" (Please make sure you have an account all ready or you just created an account)

2. Then Go To "My Services"

3. Choose the SPAM Control: There you can add up to 5 phone numbers that you do not want to contact you. This also prevents these #s from text

Press APPLY then you are done. They block these #s for 3 months at a time. So you will have to repeat the steps in 3 months.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
make it (her) go away!!!
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:31:15 PM
I'm not sure of what the law is in California but in Louisiana you cannot get a restraining order unless the person is threatening harm or has harmed you in the past. Even so I believe that others have already given you the best advice. Ignore her completely. Don't worry about being nice. You can not be nice and still not be an a-hole. You can have her number blocked depending on your phone type and your service provider. You might be able to install software on your phone to block her calls and texts or you may have to pay a fee to your service provider. Blocking emails is completely free however that doesn't stop her from creating a new email addresses and contacting you. In those cases, as soon as you realize who it is, just delete the mail without responding and block the new address. If you ever run into her because of the mutual friends, be polite but keep things cool and distant. Answer her questions with as few words as you can get away with and walk away when you can. Remember that any show of emotion towards her will be taken as encouragement, even anger, as why would you be upset unless you still had some feelings for her would be her reasoning. If your friends question your behavior towards her there is nothing wrong with you stating that because you don't want her to be hurt you are keeping your distance so as not to give her the impression that there is any chance of a relationship. Instead of being the bad guy you are protecting her feelings.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Specific Question About Boobs...
Posted: 2/11/2010 1:28:36 PM
Unless he is rough with them I don't see his playing with them as a cause for tenderness. Water retention can cause breast tenderness and there are some forms of birth control that can cause it as well. Have you started taking any new medications? Changed something about your diet? If the tenderness persists I would see a doctor.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/4/2010 11:58:55 AM
"How very nice of you to think of me,and I must say that I wish this color was more flattering to me...If you've got the receipt, I'd love to pick out something I would enjoy more often."


Although you couched it nicely, you just told them that the gift they gave you was unflattering and that you wouldn't enjoy the gift they gave you quite as much as something you picked out yourself. I might not be offended but I would be hurt.

Tact and diplomacy sometimes involves little white lies. There are so many other scenarios that we face everyday and sometimes you are going to come across one in which you can't be evasive, and you have to decide which is going to do the most harm in the long run, the truth or that little white lie. So in the case of the gift, I tell that little white lie. So I don't have the shirt I wanted, that isn't as important to me as my loved ones feelings.

Sorry for the thread-jack Windloverr
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:01:46 PM

"Faking it" is lying, straight up... B.S. pure and simple, a deception, bearing false witness, dishonesty.
In your profile you readily admit to "white lying", hell you don't even care if the guys in your life lie to you; you say so...you want them to B.S. you about how you look in certain clothes. So faking orgasms seems to go along with your agenda nicely.


You might have read in my profile that I said I don't lie with malicious intent, its so as not to hurt someones feelings. Have you never recieved a gift that you didn't like? Did you lie to spare their feelings or were you completely honest and hurt their feelings or possibly embarrass them? Being completely honest in all things doesn't always make you a better person.

So in the case I mentioned where outside influences are affecting my ability to come (and I already told him I might not come) do I continue to let him try for hours, leading to both our frustration and him feeling inadequate?
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Women faking orgasm
Posted: 2/3/2010 10:39:40 AM
I used to fake it quite a bit when I was with my ex (I got pretty damn good at it too) but then I learned that I wasn't doing either of us any favors. I almost never fake it now, if its not working for me, I will say so. Notice I said almost never. I do still fake it every once in a blue moon. Why? Because there are a lot of guys out there that don't believe they have done their job if I don't come multiple times. Sometimes all I want is one and then I want to go to sleep. It has nothing to do with bad technique on either of our parts. There are also some times when outside influences are going to keep me from coming (might not be feeling up to par, might be stressing over work or kids...) and even though I have stated that I might not come, they will keep trying, not understanding that it isn't them, its me keeping me from coming. So in those instances I might fake it, and , no, they won't know the difference.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
CFNM
Posted: 12/29/2009 1:08:58 PM
I have been to a a couple CFNM parties and they were a lot of fun. Its all about the power switch. Having that power over a male makes you feel, well, powerful, lol. One thing that they did teach me was that I am not cut out to be a dominatrix. While it was fun I felt a little bit silly ordering around naked men. Both of the parties I went to there were three nude males. They served us drinks and party snacks, we danced, played ring toss, giggled a lot and took some pics with the guys (no face shots of course). There was no sex, although there was lots of teasing by the women. The men were very respectful of our boundaries and didn't do anything that we didn't ask them to do.

How would I feel about my guy doing CFNM parties? Honestly I am not sure. I tend to go for the guys that like to take charge in bed so I don't think I would ever run into this situation. After thinking about it I still can't decide if I could handle it or not, lol.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 81 (view)
 
What is your number one fantasy?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:37:38 AM
I don't really have a number one fantasy. Yes, the emotional climate does have something to do with it. I have no problems discussing fantasies with someone that I have trust in. We would decide together whether it is something to persue or to leave in the fantasy zone.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Impatient in meeting
Posted: 9/3/2009 2:29:22 PM

What I think it is funny is when people mention the old way. When I was in high school, I knew the kids. We talked, had classes together, ate together, and may have had clubs together. Before the guy had enough courage to ask you for your phone number or I asked him to call, we did get to know each other!

In college, the same thing happened.

Out of college, I met people I worked with, people I exercised with, and people I did other activities with. We got to know each other before we went out on a date.

So there are people on here rushing, go for it. Base your relationship on shallow criteria of making sure the outside looks good before you find out if the inside is. Find out how long your relationship last...


But even in high school and college you were talking in person, you were eating with that person, you saw what they looked like, what thier mannerisms were. With online dating, a person can easily put on another personna. Meeting sooner rather than later helps you to figure out if the person matches their online personna. So instead of emailing or chatting for weeks or months only to meet and they aren't what they seem, you can meet face to face and if still interested, continue to meet and talk and eat together and attend functions together, then if still interested continue on to build that relationship.

I personally prefer to meet sooner but not under an ultimatum like it's now or never.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
ex's
Posted: 7/10/2009 12:21:00 PM
I had a first date that was crashed by the ex-wife and her boyfriend, lol. It was a little uncomfortable for me at first but we all got along just fine and ended up going to a club together and dancing. I think the ex-wife wanted to meet me and see if I was "good enough" for him, lol. While I didn't expect the ex to show up during our date (neither did my date) I did know that he and the ex were on good terms as we had chatted about it a few times so I wasn't thrown for too big a loop when she and my date hugged.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Could Not tonight honey, I have a headache soon become an obsolete phrase?
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:37:28 AM
I get migraines as well. Sex just made mine worse but then again, I never tried Adam
Taylor's suggestion. That might be doable, lol.


A few couldn't handle full sex, as the movement seemed to aggravate their condition. However my going down on them worked wonders. So if they got a migraine, they'd just lay back in bed, spread wide, and let me take care of them.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
A little gray area known as 'More than a little benefit'
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:09:28 AM

After showing mutual interest is it instinctive to think that it will not be a relationship until a commitment is discussed OR is it generally thought that you are in a relationship at the onset?


Have you ever played a card game with someone new and found that they were playing by a different set of rules? Some were the same but some you had never heard of and they didnt know some of the rules you played by? I think that is how it is with dating. You just never know what rules they play by till you ask.

Personally, I am of the opinion thats its not a relationship until you have both agreed that it is a relationship. However I know of many women that believe they are in a relationship as soon as they have sex with a person, some even before that point because they have spent a significant amount of time with that person. His best bet is to be upfront from the very beginning about what he wants and find out from the other person just what her expectations are.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Cheating mother
Posted: 5/24/2009 2:47:59 PM
I think many here are missing the point. As I stated in an earlier post I found out the my dad was cheating. I was very hurt and angry at him. I had lost respect for him. I didn't confront either parent with that knowledge and yes it was a burden to carry around that knowledge. I wish I had confronted my dad then instead of 10 years later. It turns out that he had cheated before and my mother had pretty much turned a blind eye. She eventually had enough of the cheating and they ended the marriage. Then I was put into the position of having to pick sides. I didn't put myself there this time though, my mom did. It seems that like my dad she was only human as well with human failings. What my dad did was wrong, he was a lousy husband, but he was a good father to me and I loved him just as much as I loved my mother. My mother making me takes sides was also wrong and no child or even grown child should ever be made to pick sides like that. You have no clue the guilt that I felt because I still loved my father even after he hurt my mother so badly. After some counseling (I went for other reasons than my dad cheating but it was something that I brought up) I understood that my dad's relationship with my mother was a separate thing from his relationship with me. He didn't fall out of love with me. He didn't cheat on me. Understand that I am not saying that it made it okay for him to cheat, he wronged my mother when he cheated and believe me when I say that he has paid for his cheating ways. (My step-mother caught him cheating and he wasn't allowed to leave the house by himself for almost twenty years.) What I am saying is that the only relationships that a child is responsible for maintaining is the relationship they have with each of their parents. A child is never, never responsible for helping to maintain or helping to end a relationship between his parents.

As an aside, my mother also received counseling later and apologized for making me choose sides as she did.
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Cheating mother
Posted: 5/21/2009 5:14:37 PM
OP, I understand that you have lost respect for your mother. I went through something similar but it was my father doing the cheating not my mother. One thing you need to understand though is that she is not cheating on you. Her relationship with you is separate from her relationship to your father. As long as she was a decent mother to you then she is still deserving of your love and respect. I know that it is very hard not to take sides. I know that I felt very badly for my mother and I felt that I should stop loving my father as a way to punish him for cheating on her. What it took me a long time to understand is that it wasn't my place to judge him on what kind of husband he was. Just as it isn't your place to judge what kind of wife your mother is.

Now, as for what you should do with the knowledge you have...the reason no one likes to be the bearer of bad news is because many times "the messenger gets shot." Think long and hard before going to your father with this knowledge. It is very possible that he knows that something is going on but is choosing to ignore it. He may resent you for forcing him to see the truth. There are so many possible scenarios as to what could be going on that you would not be privy to. Unfortunately for you it seems that ignoring it is not a possibility so in your shoes before I even considered speaking with my father I would confront my mother with the evidence gathered. Give her a chance to come clean with your father. Be prepared for the backlash of your snooping. I understand that it was your computer but you did take the steps of installing a key logger.
 
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