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 Author Thread: Speed-dating aka multi-mini-interview type date format for mature folks like us
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Speed-dating aka multi-mini-interview type date format for mature folks like us
Posted: 3/10/2019 11:29:38 PM
Like so many things in human experience, it's HIT or MISS, depending on the ethics of the people running the event, and the motives of the attendees.

Is the event designed to just generate $$$ for the organizers or the bar/club where it's being held? As long as bodies are delivered, the bar/club will keep "sponsoring" such events so they make money selling drinks - to hell with the quality of the actual event, just deliver bodies.

What are the motives of the attendees? I've read many threads on REDDIT about events like this. It seems most events have more women than men, due to different motives:
1) Some women think they'll actually get a choice of good men to consider.\
2) Some women go in groups, like club-hopping; their goal is to goof around and get attention for a night, not to make friends or find a lover

A) Sometimes men don't show because once ONE woman gives a man a negative review, ALL the others jump on the bandwagon and rate him negatively. This snowball effect makes is next to impossible for the average guy to have a chance at meeting anyone.
B) Men & Women who attend are shocked to see ZERO people they are attracted to or consider worth a moment's attention. The idea that even in a club full of people, there is NO ONE for them is a real heartbreaker and they leave disheartened about dating.

OTOH, the people who show up just to goof around and tease the others can have great fun ( at the expense of everyone else ).

Think about it - it's a shot in the dark with an extremely small group of people - much tinier than what you'd see in 30 minutes on a dating app. Does that sound like better odds of matching?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Independent "Don't Need A Man"; Seeks - Husband =>> What Gives?
Posted: 8/3/2018 12:40:22 AM
After marriage, would status change to Co-Independent?

Seriously, the older women seem to want marriage even MORE than the young women. I do not understand the dynamic. Please explain it in 4-year old terms. Is "dying alone" really such a heart-stopper?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
June 8 Meet other singles and enjoy live music
Posted: 6/5/2018 9:02:43 AM
??...any more details, like time of day...??
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Day Game Opinions?
Posted: 4/20/2018 1:56:40 AM
BASIC newbie makes a lot of BASIC newbie mistakes.
NEGGING is not appreciated anywhere. Running down the street hollerin' at women is negging. You don't know how to get positive attention, so you opted for NEGATIVE.

Are you feeling better now from the attention?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
She called to catch up out of the blue..
Posted: 4/20/2018 1:51:29 AM
STOP. DON'T.
Even IF she broke up with the Ex.
Even IF she lived alone now.
It's 3 years too soon - she will be talking about the Ex every time you meet.
....
Just Let It Go.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I'd like to have new potential matches...
Posted: 4/18/2018 6:45:29 PM
We are only annoyed at those people we see as "Suggested Matches" from the site that we have examined and KNOW they are not matches for us. Examination can be a quick glance that says "No way!" or a detailed profile read that spots Red Flags or incompatible dating suggestions.

I agree - I'd like to Permanent Block 100 profiles that I'm just tired of seeing pop up on my feed. There are others on my feed that I don't mind seeing at all, because those chicks are HOT or I like some of their likes - even though I know that "I" am not a match for them, I like seeing that the kind of woman I like DOES EXIST.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Don’t want any negativity in my profile
Posted: 4/18/2018 6:25:54 PM
"Anyone who reads the profile and isn't eliminated by the gauntlet of "don't" and "no", has ZERO chance of getting a response."

I totally disagree with this, because my profile has a few major disqualifiers, and yet I still get the occasional letters - and I usually respond.

Talk is cheap - what's tough is getting a date - and that's what disqualifiers are about. I'll talk to almost anyone for a day, a week, a month - as long as they have interesting things to say. But it doesn't guarantee a date - and often I will state and restate the MISMATCH so the reader is informed I'm not going to be asking her out. But she wants to chat about interesting stuff, I'm still here.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dating visitors to your town?
Posted: 4/15/2018 6:18:01 PM
"I know I would love to entertain visitors, show them around, maybe do a day trip."

Ditto. The adventure is the thing. Nice when you have company that can revel in that experience that than expect you to entertain them like a court jester. So basically like any other date, but I wouldn't expect anything regular.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 15 (view)
 
List #3.
Posted: 4/15/2018 6:11:40 PM
Big Bonus Points for a woman who likes to travel and researches the history/culture of the destination, so that we can spot interesting places to stop or walk to between the major objectives. Someone who likes to stand in a spot and visualize the era, the people, the discourse, and the peoples of the time ... the experience of living in such historical times. Someone who won't be pissed when I play "Walk Like An Egyptian" in the National History Museum in Cairo.

Big Bonus Points for a woman who can pick up a controller and help me beat a difficult game level, or offer suggestions on how to take down a boss. Someone who understands geeky jokes in an online multiplayer session.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Should I keep trying to reach out?
Posted: 4/13/2018 1:04:21 AM
Lots of responses, but "of course" your pick the one guy who turns you down. It "MUST BE" because you ONLY want the ego satisfaction of getting that last guy to pay attention to you,....right?!?

Nah! Sometimes people just don't match - it's not about a war of egos, or negging to win, or "MUST BE" nonsense or any crazy dating jinx that people quote all day and night in their sleep.

Bottom line, NO means NO, move on to the next guy. Plenty of Fish, Another Train Coming, All About The Numbers, etc.

~ Did I contradict myself!?! ~
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/7/2018 11:09:12 AM

I don't drink either, and am also not religious. If I limited my messages to people with those settings, would send few to zero messages.

Same for me, except I still send a lot of messages, because I just like to talk to people. I don't expect a date from people who don't match, but I think it's nice to get "proof of life" from a dating app every once in while so I don't become jaded, and think it's 90% bots or Russian mail-order brides.

I'd say a good 60-70% of the women who message me DO NOT FIT the physical profile of what I'm looking for. Additionally, I seem to be a magnet for women with lots of kids and those who are fiercely religious, or like camping, which are DEAL KILLERS for me. My profile has a lot of slop in it - there's no way any rational - thinking person could imagine a match with such types.


When you go to a resturant or bar, each individual can order whatever they want.........so what's the problemo?!

The problem is that people who drink, SMELL/TASTE like booze afterwards. That is overpowering if you're considering a make-out session. Also, if you visit their home, they will be breaking out the booze all the time, because for them, it's not an issue. When someone says they don't want to be around alcohol - BELIEVE THEM, it's a big deal.

Oh, well...it just happens. Mostly I just don't write back, unless they offer me a new car and a steak dinner.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/4/2018 11:50:24 PM

Also to clarify: HE is the one that (occasionally) talks about progressing the relationship. I tell him I won't while he still on dating sites.

You have given him an ULTIMATUM - which means your relationship is DEAD. People who give ultimatums have already decided to actually DO whatever it is they have threatened....they will keep dropping IF this, or IF that, .... until something is violated and they can carry out their threat ---- "because YOU made me!"

This means you will NEVER progress the relationship. You've already decided it needs to end, and you want to blame HIM for it, but he doesn't act like it's over, and that's frustrating for you. Well...maybe you're both happy threatening each other and never changing...???
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Offering a background checking service for people who are skeptical about the first time meet up
Posted: 4/4/2018 11:41:13 PM
"I had several of these issues when meeting up with people who were not who they said they were."

Well, if YOU to background checks, and you're STILL having trouble, then either the checks are worthless or your services are worthless.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Boys making Men look bad
Posted: 4/4/2018 11:38:22 PM

What bugs ME is that so many women have no ability to distinguish the difference between bonehead males and decent men.
Yeah, I see the notes, and hear the wails, but generally, they don't bother me. I figure the more mature women will spot the time-wasters and avoid them. The ones who gripe all the time should take a hard look in the mirror - or maybe stop looking in the mirror and go outside and face the naked light of day.

I don't think the bad boys make the nice guys look bad. I think that you just have to put a little more work into determining which is which and don't let a bottle of beer decide for you.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Is it time?
Posted: 3/31/2018 12:03:42 AM
She told you to BUGGER OFF and she told you WHY, so get to BUGGERING and go find a woman that doesn't object to EVERYTHING you say and do.

It couldn't be clearer.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Do guys like women to always wear makeup?
Posted: 3/31/2018 12:00:36 AM
If make-up had NEVER BEEN INVENTED, the world population today WOULD BE THE SAME!

Bottom, line, any guy who dates you is after your bottom. A pretty face can make it more fun en route, but doesn't change the destination or the intent. You see all those ugly women at the mall pushing baby carts? Make-up is UNNECESSARY.

But, yeah, sure, guys will run to the dolled-up gals first.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Would you chat with someone who is a Hedonist?
Posted: 3/30/2018 11:54:47 PM
The hedonist in me says "I'm willing to listen for as long as you're giving me a full-body massage."

And that's about as far as your trust should go. It's not any more complicated than that.

Long Term does not automatically mean DEEP-EXCLUSIVE-RELATIONSHIP. I have have long-term friendships, they are not exclusive, and most are not very deep, either, but they've stood the test of decades because we share similar interests and attitudes.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Meeting the opposite sex
Posted: 3/27/2018 11:05:18 PM
There is a stark differenct between SOCIAL SPORTS leagues and COMPETITIVE SPORTS leagues.

We all know competitive leagues - we are strong-armed into them in schools all the way to the college level, and we see the pros and the Olympic atheletes. They compete for $$$, for trophies, for awards, for medals, and in the last 60 years or so, for licensing agreements to get more $$$.

Social leagues are new to most people - they are akin to games at a family picnic. You play to interact with friends/family in a way other than arguing, cooking, and knife-fights. The emphasis is on SOCIAL interaction. You are expected and encouraged to talk to team members, other team players, be friendly, and hang out in bars afterwards. It's friggin' ludicrous to encourage social interaction and NOT to expect some people to hook up. Social sports allow people to experienct thrills, tension, exhileration, and even disappointment - WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.

It would be understandable for SOCIAL SPORTS rules to include a ban on sexual teasing. It's silly to try to ban people being nice to each other.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Girl i'm seeing is being difficult
Posted: 3/25/2018 10:52:14 PM
- You don't know until you try. She's smarter than you. With a $60K income, you could indeed buy a home or townhouse with a hot tub, or a jacuzzi (jet-stream) bath.
- Imagine the glow of her face when you show her a paystub on your 60K job! Even brighter than the fry grease. Okay, so you have to change the hot tub filters frequently from the fry grease, but sheesh, you got a house!
- Follow her instructions and stop whining. In your shoes, I got the house. I planted trees in the back, now I got oranges every January. It was good for a dozen years. Never bought the hot tub - big mistake! It all turned to hell. I was fired. The fries got cold. I was a fool.
- Don't do it - go date a gal from Wendy's....they are less demanding.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Would you date a CPA?
Posted: 3/24/2018 12:21:31 AM

If it was really important the phone would ring.

Thirty years ago there were the dates and friends who were always looking for phones in public. Any place you went, the wanted to be near a phone in case they got a premonition of danger at home or something. It's like they were always in a state of alert.

I used to say that if anything so dire happened that required you to make a call, the police would find you. Most like the dire event would already be over and there is nothing you can do at that point - other than visit the people affected. Jumping on the phone at this point would make no difference at all.

Today it's a little different - people can contact you easily to request a quart of milk or a ride home, or the password to HBO-GO.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Blokes imprsonating women, what can we do?
Posted: 3/24/2018 12:13:39 AM
Yeah, I was in line at a burger place, and this guy behind me, he pulls a wig and some lipstick out of his backpack and dolls himself up. Manager sees him and walks him straight to the front of the line to take his order. I was so put out, I mega-sized my order to eat myself into a coma. While passed out, I missed the 24-respond deadline on my Bumble app. My day went south from there. I was lucky to get home in one piece, and I was STILL HUNGRY!!!!

What can be done about this? Show up a minute earlier for lunch...? DONE!
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 32 (view)
 
do women really want to be seen as sex objects?
Posted: 3/22/2018 11:06:16 PM

Yes. Someone who is interested in what I have to say and how I feel outside of bed too.

"How do you feel about getting out of bed and getting me a sammich?" - You will be tested, count on it. A guy is going to explore your boundaries. How you respond may determine the theme of a relationship.

Of course, you can have that discussion BEFORE you get into bed, so the sammich is already ordered and delivered.
( What? Why make anything when you can order it from your phone?)
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 33 (view)
 
What if the girl always leaves after sex?
Posted: 3/19/2018 5:32:07 PM
12 years later - is she still leaving?!?!?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 19 (view)
 
did I make the right call here?
Posted: 3/19/2018 5:28:28 PM

"Waaaaah!! Why are men such @$$holes?!?!" BECAUSE. IT. WORKS.


Actually, I'd say it's not that being an ***hole works - it's that being an ***hole doesn't drive away someone who's just got the hots for you. This works for men or woman. Men will complain when they keep chasing the "crazy" woman who keys their car, sleeps with their pals, steals money from their wallet and screams loudly in public. But they keep going back. The crazy doesn't stop them.

Likewise, for women, the ***hole, the jerk, the narcissist, the wife-beater behavior that SHOULD BE a flashing traffic light with a klaxon still doesn't slow the chase and day-dreaming about "CHAD" who is perfect except for the very last ***hole thing he did.

No doubt OP would go on another date with this guy, against recommendations of her family, friends, and the whole of the Internet.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 126 (view)
 
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/18/2018 6:38:13 PM

One woman can be jealous of other women, regardless of the relative levels of attraction. If woman A is going out on dates, and having fun, while woman B is not, then Woman B is very likely to be jealous of Woman A. Doesn’t matter who is more attractive.


I say pretty much the same thing about people who cheat, men or women. They don't need to find someone prettier, younger, taller or wealthier ---- all they need is someone who is AVAILABLE and WILLING to get it on --- because options with the current partner are limited or non-existent.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 26 (view)
 
What is the strangest message you have received thus far on here?
Posted: 3/14/2018 6:23:00 PM
Only a month ago, a woman messaged me and said she didn't want to date me, but I sounded like fun and that we should "HANG OUT".

I asked her what she wanted to do while "hanging out" and to suggest places/events/etc.

STONE COLD SILENCE ever since. I can get that treatment on BUMBLE!
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Treading on eggshells in messages
Posted: 3/11/2018 10:05:16 PM

This is a shame for the genuine guys but sorry to say other men have ruined internet dating.


Before the age of OLD, web sites, etc., I would hear women say the very same thing about dating in general. OLD changed absolutely nothing for MEN or WOMEN.

Men lie about the same things ( height, jobs, $$$, access to stuff, "wanting a relationship")
Women lie about the same things ( weight, hair color, kids, contact info, "no hook-ups" )

You have to vett people you meet. If you met someone through family/friends/work, often you already have a lot of info about them, or have seen them interact with other people. You have a general notion of their style, and can spot lies easier - or ask people you know to verify a statement.

With OLD - vetting is more difficult. Sure, there are social media accounts - but those have the same reliability as the National Inquirer. Maybe Bat-Boy can confirm everything for you. Yes, you can Google. But the biggest thing that people FAIL to do time and again is simple ASK.

- where do you work
- tell me about your family
- what caused your last relationship to break up
- describe an average week of your activities after work

Instead, the create a list of "what-ifs" and run off the to web to ask everyone else in the world "What if he/she is lying to me?"
Well....what if you asked more questions or said "show me", or just walked away from people you didn't trust?

But then....that would be WORK. It's easier to just say that everyone is bad and dating is "ruined". Yeah, that sure stopped that last generation from breeding, huh...???
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 52 (view)
 
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 3/11/2018 9:53:16 PM
https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f76_1323277426

Yeah, I used to "Be Attractive". Now....not so much. I think women can smell that I sleep under a bridge.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Which is the best dating site?
Posted: 3/9/2018 7:12:26 PM
Recently on REDDIT, I saw a chart for most popular dating apps for 2017. Understand it doesn't mean it's BEST for you - it's merely what people are using ( or claim to use ) https://forums.plentyoffish.com/addpost.aspx?PostID=16691498&x=45&y=8

74% - Tinder
7% - OKC
5% - Grinder
4% - POF
3% - eHarmony
2% - Coffee Meets Bagel
2% - Match
<1 % - Bumble
<2% - All Others
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 44 (view)
 
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 3/9/2018 6:54:23 PM
A woman from work. One and done. We never spoke again at work. She left the company a couple of years later.

Last year I was tempted to ask a woman from work out - but decided it just wasn't in mine or her best interest.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Why does no one make an effort?
Posted: 3/2/2018 2:59:21 PM
^^^ Casinos are not free, and yet they are packed full of gameplayers.

The OLD pay sites mostly have the same people as the free sites. How many people pay for super-swipes on Tinder, yet it's pretty popular.

Many people make a strong and solid effort, but even if you meet such a person, a connection can be scuttled over Coke vs. Pepsi.

I appreciate the effort anyone makes to show up for a date. Before that, everything is cheap talk or cheap texting. I would like to give a participation trophy to everyone who shows up for a date. YMMV.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Which is the best dating site?
Posted: 3/1/2018 3:34:48 PM
Try the dumpster behind 7-11, or maybe the one behind a porn shop, or maybe that rest stop on a lonely highway - look for the numbers written in the stalls. Yeah, all the classic places still work. Oh, you didn't want to put any effort into it...?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How would the worlds greatest writers and comedians fare on POF?
Posted: 3/1/2018 3:29:28 PM
^^^ I went to Italy. I went to Capri. I drank Capri Sun on the bus to the summit. Job Done!!
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Updated my Profile to my POF commercial
Posted: 2/26/2018 3:12:40 PM
TEDIOUS.

Messages this short may not be posted
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why I think it's important to look for these specific qualities in a potential partner:
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:49:30 PM
TL: Impossible to assess in a few text exchanges. We are forced to be foolish and rush into dating whomever contacts us - or lose a chance to connect with anyone.

Maybe on each date, you can explore each of your 7 Ideals. Most people don't get to Date 3.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 23 (view)
 
I have no idea what to do anymore.
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:46:10 PM

A site of nothing but blind dates and a mandatory stipulation that you have to date once every so many months or get removed.

I agree with Vigor, very hard to tell what some people look like with all the goofy filter, and horrible fish-eye angles.

Another thing about the "swipe" apps is that people are trying to "game" the algorithms so that their profiles show up more frequently. One method is that people delete their profiles after a short time, say only a month or so. Then they create a new profile and try again. A month later, wash and repeat. Because of this, many profiles are just disposable crap.

==============

In other news, after 3 months back on the scene I got my second date. I followed my own advice and engaged with a woman who messaged me enthusiastically. Less than a week after the first message we met face-to-face and she was very much as represented. Judging from the texts after the date - she doesn't hate me yet.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:34:14 PM

Pictures of activities can be staged very easily.


Bringing SEXY wack. Somehow I missed that "easy" memo. Gotta check YouTube for a tutorial.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 50 (view)
 
BF is upset because I didn't introduce him to my work colleague
Posted: 2/25/2018 10:12:25 AM
There are very, very, few people I've worked with that became off-duty friends. Even among those people, I didn't pry deep into their personal lives. Why? Because I don't care. We shared hobbies. We talked about those hobbies, not about some kid's kindergarden grades.

Sure, at some point or another I might find out they have kids or a wife or a GF or ex-wife, and guess what...I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THEIR NAMES. Because I don't hang out with the wives and families - maybe I met them once or twice. Maybe I was introduced at some department store. I nodded my head and grunted, and forgot them instantly. Why? Because I don't care that people you know also shop at a store.

Even if you DID screw Brad from accounting last year, do I want to meet him? No. What for? I don't care about Brad's opinion.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/23/2018 3:42:44 PM
Just wanna say if my date gets into a catfight while out with me, that's an instant turn-off and probably and early end to the date to be followed with a very stern GHOSTING.

Ain't nobody got time for that.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do people still talk to the person before opting to go out on a date?
Posted: 2/21/2018 10:14:46 PM
Yes, people do this NOW, and they did this 20 years ago and 50 years ago and 150 years ago and even before people blew into conch shells for attention.

There are people in this world that just want a date, to just hangout, to pair up for a dance or a party or whatever, and they're not worried about if it's forever. So "meet me at the bar in 10 minutes" works for them. And it worked back in the day on Friday when your buddy needed a date and "My GF is bring a friend along, okay?" and sure, any date is better than none. People still do that.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Voicemail greetings on profiles
Posted: 2/21/2018 10:09:41 PM
I did Classified Personals in the 80s and 90s. Ad runs in a weekly newspaper that young and "hip" people read. Dozens of personal ads in the back by type: M4F, F4M, etc. Ad is only about 30 characters (FREE) but you can buy more characters if you like. Most ads are abbreviated stats of seeker + abbreviated stats of what they seek. Personality? Hah!!!!

Okay - so if someone was in your demographic, you'd contact them by dialing a toll-free number and listening to their "Voice Introduction". This was basically your dating "elevator pitch", 30 seconds to express your personality. Okay, after all the "uh"s, the coughing, the low-volume, the mumbling, and the nervous laughter, what were you left with? The background noise of kids yelling, cars, TV blasting, giggling friends, and heavy sighs because people don't prepare a pitch and don't know what to say.

And you could pay $$$ to give a similar reply and your phone number for the seeker to call. After you connect from a personal phone number, a short discussion could score a date, but mostly like weak "Hey" messages, it went nowhere. I got a lot of dates this way, because I learned to ask critical questions to eliminate time-wasters with habits I didn't like. I still remember one woman who sounded like the Sea Hag from Popeye and cursed enough to make a sailor blush. Yeah, that was a NO.

I have experience this AUDIO HELL you're asking about. It would not change a thing - other than a bunch of new threads griping about how "desperate" people sound or "scratchy/screechy/gruffy" their voices are.

If we could text each other hair and skin samples would you want that TOO, before deciding to date someone? GEEZ, just ask someone out, and stop all the ****-footing around.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Instant turn aways
Posted: 2/19/2018 11:57:21 PM
Instant? That's pretty harsh! But, yeah, sure there are three things that will kill my interest pretty quick:
- Smoking, Vaping
- Drugs, including pot, I don't care if it's legal, it's a no-go
- Drinking, that includes wine, lite-beers, or any funky combos - if you're drinking it because there's booze in it, I'm out
====================

Yes, that means I'm incompatible with 98.8% of the human race, but somehow I've had two LTRs and quite a number of dates ( well, you gotta find your tolerances )

There are other things that tend to turn me away, but may not be basis for immediate rejection:
- Religious ferver - mention any god in your profile - nah, I'm not writing. I'm not part of your tribe.
- Political hot points - I don't go looking for these, but if it's something you're so hot under the collar about that you have to scream it in a profile or on a first date, yeah, "check, please"
- Kids/Breeding/Rearing - I have never been interested, don't hate Moms, but want no part of your child-rearing activities. If you have grown kids, I don't mind meeting them, but no, I don't want to hang out with them.
- Sports fanatics - I'm mean the super-fans who wear gear 24/7/365 and want to fight in parking lots
- Gun enthusiasts - I play video games with guns, but I have no interest in guns. "But you will be the first to die in a robbery/shootout" Yes, I will. In fact, I will be the guy who doesn't lay down when they say "everybody get down". I'm over 50, I don't want to die, but I just not worried about death by...whatever...however, I have a fear of heights, and it's something I can't control.
- Excessive Cursing/ Disrespect for Law & Authority - I'm maybe the most square guy you'll ever meet. Charlie Brown won't hang with me, I'm too square.
- Sass/ Attitude/ "sarcasm" - Any attempt to stand on a pedistal and act "above" others. This means all Goddesses, Queens, Princesses, Divas, etc. on down the line

SO....that last 0.02% of humanity might be suitable for me to get along with, I guess.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Profile Search: Page View vs. Swiping
Posted: 2/14/2018 4:22:57 PM

espeically when they constantly swipe my profile every single day

This is a feature of swipe apps I find annoying. The people you reject today, can show up in your pipeline tomorrow and EVERY SINGLE DAY until the end of time, meaning you have to keep killing the same annoying pest forever --- EVEN if that person never tries to connect with you.

This is the primal FLAW in a method that requires you to reject everyone you don't like - instead of selecting the few you do like.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 37 (view)
 
POF as Car Catalog
Posted: 2/9/2018 5:11:26 PM

they just send out a series of grunts like Hi, Hello, Hey There or Send Photo and don’t bother to converse about themselves or what they have to offer


I'm on Bumble ( the app where WOMEN message first ) and this is EXACTLY the kind of messages I get from women. Less than 6 words, low-effort introductions.

IMHO - Isn't this pretty much the same thing you'd get if a stranger approached you at a bar or a club? So why the rant?
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 125 (view)
 
How Many Meet Me Notices Are In Your Mailbox?
Posted: 2/8/2018 6:27:35 PM
No matter how pretty or how ugly men and women become in future years, make-up will never be necessary, because it never WAS necessary. Do you think most average people had time & cash to toss away on make-up 200 years ago? Somehow people keep on breeding from the Dawn of Time ( add echo sound effect) without it.

There will always be people who are prettier, more fit, stand straighter, have more brains or more coodination. Make up is one of the equalizers that allow people to punch in a higher weight class. YMMV.

Funny how all the poor manage to breed without it.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 65 (view)
 
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 2/6/2018 2:57:09 PM

Due to not having a social life


Can't imagine why the hot guys haven't called...
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Dating
Posted: 2/4/2018 7:00:12 PM

Talking to him about other men she’s dating, to try and make him jealous

NO. Not to make him jealous. He eliminated himself. Don't consider dating him. But he can be a friend. He can be someone who gives you feedback about dating. But he should forever be in the FriendZone, like some Krytonian criminal. You should never hint that you are going to date him. Friends Only. It's what he asked for.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Dating
Posted: 2/2/2018 3:06:21 PM
~ Damn, his loss! ~ I think you should bow out of the weekly texting and the 4-some dates now. If anyone asks, the reason is clear. You are looking for a boyfriend, not a bench-sitter in the Friend Zone.

If you want to bounce ideas off him when you are dating other men, I think that's okay, too, since he already self-eliminated. If he flips and asks you out, the answer should be NO - because he's already proven himself to NOT have the same goals and you don't need him flaking out.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 33 (view)
 
has anyone been to a swingers club
Posted: 2/2/2018 2:57:15 PM

Either that or they only allow a certain amount of single men to keep the gender ratio relatively even.


Yes, the place I used to go most had a pretty balanced number of men & women, but the men were probably 5-10 years older on average. Most of the people who crowded to watch couples in the "show" rooms were men. Most of the people dancing were women, doing their best to act sexy or in the manner of what they though a stripper would do. I think there were two stripper poles on stage.

So you might say men were there to watch or participate in sex, while women were there to BE watched and appreciated for their sexiness.

ACTION vs. ATTENTION
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 13 (view)
 
POF = Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 2/2/2018 2:46:53 PM

One dating app i'm very impressed by is The League. It probably has the best quality out of them all but you have to wait several weeks for your profile to be approved etc.


If The League finds out you have a profile on POF, you will be automatically rejected. They have standards, you know, and it doesn't look good if you're hanging out with a bunch of "fakes".
 
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