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 Author Thread: She's great but... she doesn't like bacon!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 37 (view)
 
She's great but... she doesn't like bacon!
Posted: 12/15/2018 2:50:44 PM
My husband had a horrific allergy to shell fish. I loved him more than lobster and shrimp. I didn't mind giving it up for him. However I was never allergic to his nuts so we enjoyed them together all the time.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Jesus ~ in laymans terms
Posted: 12/15/2018 2:28:02 PM
He was God incarnate embodied in flesh in human form. This has always appealed to me more so than his miracles or his virgin birth or his death and resurrection.

He was human and had human emotions. He was filled with fear and doubt in the garden. He had so much fear it is written that he sweat blood. He prayed for an easier way and then finally accepted God's will. His friends fell asleep on him there and he felt loneliness. He thought he was "forsaken" on the cross. He had a dark complexion, knotted hair and it would have been shorn. Not at all like the depictions we see that were commissioned by English royalty.

He had fury in the temple when he found the peddlers and sellers there desecrating his father's house. He grew tired yet still administered to the weak and sick and downtrodden. He was subject to temptation three times from Lucifer. He was human with human emotions and feelings both good and bad. In this way I can relate to him. I can know my fears and distress and despair can be overcome.

We have so little information about him. I believe more in the early Gnostic writings and scriptures is a more true account. The Romans and Popes have discarded so much for their own agenda. Do we really know who Christ was or what his mission here was?

We know of his birth. The date not so certain. Constantine chose December 25 because it was already a Roman Soldiers holiday for Ra the sun God but the truth is that there perhaps would not have been a census taken during such a frigid season and it would have more likely been after harvest.
The concept of Mary being a virgin was not even written until after 400AD and that was when Rome was trying to conquer the Africa's and most tribes there believed in a female deity.

What I truly believe is that he gave us the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit. With these we can find Christ within us. We can see our human experiences through the eyes of God and be guided. We can turn over our free will to the will of God and worship him and love him as Christ did.
My faith is simple , Matthew 19:23 "With God all things are possible"
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 31 (view)
 
She's great but... she doesn't like bacon!
Posted: 12/15/2018 6:02:43 AM
@ July..
This is in your recent history. In Ask a Girl. "Can't get this girl off my mind"

" And sometimes we dismiss people prematurely. If you don't get to know a person sometimes you might miss out on a person who would truly be great for you."

Why don't you take your own advice?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 27 (view)
 
She's great but... she doesn't like bacon!
Posted: 12/14/2018 3:30:57 PM
"Aggravate you to no end".. I'm not sorry, that sounds very dramatic but most of your posts do.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 21 (view)
 
She's great but... she doesn't like bacon!
Posted: 12/14/2018 11:33:47 AM
"Fussy eaters are a big pet peeve of mine, even worse than smokers. If a guy online told me he hated seafood or vegetables or bacon, I would instantly dismiss him in my mind."

@ July. You are often complaining that you can't find a decent man. You don't find men that want relationships, just sex and you are unhappy with your dating experiences. You say over and again that you have no luck in the dating field. So why are you rejecting men "instantly" dismissing them over such trivial things? This "fussy eater" could have been your Prince Charming but you gave him no chance because he didn't like vegetables? Seems petty.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Would relationships be better if the honeymoon hormones never went away?
Posted: 12/12/2018 6:20:07 PM
@Ms.Micki. Your post made me think of this poem in the book "The Prophet" and @ Day. Yes, we all need some solitude.

On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/12/2018 11:38:16 AM
That is very nice... but that doesn't work with most men.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/12/2018 11:27:29 AM
"Women that were attractive to me. 1 was Big & Tall/BBW body type and other 2 were average"

That's not what I am curious about as much as I would like to know what you say when you respond to someone who you don't want.
The OP is in a quandary about how to reject women. When you are writing to women that contact you that do not appeal to you.
With decency and manners. Do you engage in conversation and then gently let them down. Do you respond right away with a "no thanks".
How do you do this with white gloves?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/12/2018 9:36:22 AM
@Spec.. I don't agree that someone who doesn't respond to you has no decency or manners. That is a strange presumption to me. Woman that can not take the "hint" with silence are the ones that are "ignorant". Men too. Would you say "anything" to put yourself on a moral high ground.
Ridiculous. It's not about manners it's about being selective.

Blocking someone is not kind at all because after a certain number of people block you POF discards your entire profile. Where are your manners then?
I don't listen to men who brag about pumping and dumping. They are crass and I don't need that kind of negativity in my mind. I never hear it except on radio talk shows like Tom Leykis. Some men are just looking for sex. So what?

I don't know why your response to me is about "banging" I wasn't talking about men just looking for a F*ck. That is a whole other subject.
Even the men that are looking for marriage and all sainted and wonderful nice guys eventually want to have sex on the wedding night.
Who are you trying to kid?

You state you have only contacted 3 women here. Were they ladies you know your "serious" about women that you were NOT attracted to sexually. Try to gloss that over. Of course they were. Did you contact 3 "jabbas". I'm guessing NO.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/12/2018 7:19:57 AM
"People have feeling and emotions and sometimes just a little bit of humanity served their way can make a big difference."

Exactly. That's why I think "thanks but no thanks" is not kind. If a woman doesn't check all your boxes than why hurt her feelings by rejecting her. You can chit chat if you want a pen pal but that's not the reason she is contacting you. She contacts you because she thinks your "feelings" will be mutual. She contacts you because she wants to meet you and get to know you and someday see you naked. Why play with her "emotions" by sending a "no thanks". That can be hurtful. Would it not be more of a "bit of humanity" than to just not respond. Especially if you are looking at ten pages of new messages on Sunday night.

Most often when a woman gets a message with any content it is a copy and paste message that the man has sent to 50 women. Hoping against numbers that some will respond. Yes, sometimes a message will prompt a response from me but there are other factors I consider. To be honest obesity is one reason I will not respond. Does that mean I should contact the man and say we are not a match because your as big as a barn door? No, it means move on until you find someone that sparks your interest. Why waste a woman's time when you already know you wouldn't want her attention????.

You can be upfront or wonder "how do I word this" but it doesn't matter what you say in your profile. Men will contact you irregardless and most do not read what you write. They look at pictures and send a message. It's obvious when men send copy and paste and even more obvious when you know they haven't even read your profile.

Sending a response gives a woman some hope. It's a false hope and that can be more damaging than no reply. You have no intentions of meeting her and you are not attracted then leave her alone. For as many men here that complain about "no response" there are women that complain they got "ghosted" after having what seemingly was a nice conversation with a man here. What would be your choice? A few crumbs from the table or the whole smorgasbord?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/12/2018 6:02:15 AM
"Absolutely. Replying to people is the decent respectful thing to do but after a while you'll come to notice not many people have respect for others.
The no answer is an answer is a cop out because adults knock people back, and silly children ignore people because they can't be a responsible adult and don't know how to handle rejection/rejecting. Now ask yourself if they can't be bothered to answer another human being then I think it says a lot about said men and women character."

Hogwash.

When I was dating here and actively searching. A newbie... my inbox had some weekends over 100 emails. It would be a full time job to reject everyone. They don't just go away.. most continue to pursue you because you've opened a door for communication by rejecting them. They respond over and over.

It has not much to do with women's character that is different, their experience on OLD is very different from men's. It's not a "cop out" it is an issue of time management. As much as men have to do the searching.. women have to do some weeding out here too. No response is better than telling a man "thanks but no thanks". The men don't accept that answer. Some of them get nasty too!

As far as character men are taught to hunt and pursue. They do not just let you reject them. They carry on with you. It's not as simple to just say "no thanks". They want attention any way you will give it to them. I know how to handle rejection. I don't like rejecting 99 men when I'm only searching for 1.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/12/2018 5:50:35 AM
In all honesty..... It doesn't take a lot of courage for someone to type Hey there, or Hi, you're handsome, or Hello sexy.

It's not "rude" when you have 45 messages in your in box. It's not rude to not answer. I think it's rude to reject people.
Why bother? That is absurd. To respond with "thanks but no thanks" that just continues on to five more messages of
someone asking you why or ten more messages with more proposals suggesting that you should give them a chance.

How would you like to open your inbox only to find that everyone there rejected you. Those are not respectful replies.
I personally would rather be left alone and unanswered.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/11/2018 6:50:07 PM
Contact the woman you prefer and ignore the women that contact you that you are not interested in. Keep it simple. You don't have to answer mail from a woman that you do not find attractive. Most people understand that no response means no interest. Why are you complicating this??. It's easy as pie. I'm thin and active. I don't respond to 300 pound men. We are not a match. I don't want to be crushed or lift a 50 pound gut to find the prize.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 10 (view)
 
She's great but... she doesn't like bacon!
Posted: 12/11/2018 11:20:22 AM
Some people won't eat it for religious reasons. Some people only eat fish and foul. Some people don't eat meat at all. If that is your only complaint I would say you found a keeper. Don't be nit picking at your new lady friend. That's not attractive at all.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 44 (view)
 
A love song ~ for all the men & fine women, on the forums ...
Posted: 12/10/2018 7:08:22 AM
Here is one that makes me smile... not a love song but a good one. Gets stuck in my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9FzVhw8_bY

In Hell I'll Be in Good Company - Lyrics by the Dead South.

Dead Love couldn't go no further,
Proud of and disgusted by her,
Push shove, a little bruised and battered
Oh Lord I ain't coming home with you.

My life's a bit more colder,
Dead wife is what I told her
Brass knife sinks into my shoulder
Oh babe don't know what I'm gonna do.

I see my red head, messed bed, tear shed, queen bee, my squeeze
The stage it smells, tells, hell's bells, miss-spells, knocks me on my knees.
It didn't hurt, flirt, blood squirt, stuffed shirt, hang me on a tree
After I count down, three rounds, in hell I'll be in good company.

Dead Love couldn't go no further,
Proud of and disgusted by her,
Push shove, a little bruised and battered
Oh Lord I ain't coming home with you.

My life's a bit more colder,
Dead wife is what I told her
Brass knife sinks into my shoulder
Oh babe don't know what I'm gonna do.

I see my red head, messed bed, tear shed, queen bee, my squeeze
The stage it smells, tells, hell's bells, miss-pells, knocks me on my knees
It didn't hurt, flirt, blood squirt, stuffed shirt, hang me on a tree.
After I count down, three rounds, in hell I'll be in good company...

In hell I'll be in good company.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 118 (view)
 
If looks do matter.
Posted: 12/9/2018 5:23:32 PM
@July. As long as you have this idea that there are leagues you will try to categorize yourself compared to other women. That does not give you healthy self esteem. Why compare yourself to anyone but yourself?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 14 (view)
 
why do I have no luck with girls?
Posted: 12/9/2018 3:40:44 PM
It looks like you're trying to hard. Take some more natural looking pictures. Attracting men or women online is all about the pictures.

My cousins are both lesbian. They do not engage with any women that would also want a man. Perhaps the lesbians you are contacting are of the same train of thought. They don't want bisexuals.

You do look masculine in the full body pic. Put on some feminine clothing and don't pose in your bathroom. I agree with the other ladies. Don't be so made up in every picture. Take a better variety of pictures as well. Just trying to help you tweak your profile. Start with the pictures.

Then as someone else suggested go to Profile reviews for your content and bio.
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum94.aspx

Good luck.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 41 (view)
 
A love song ~ for all the men & fine women, on the forums ...
Posted: 12/9/2018 11:02:18 AM
I heard this this morning. It lifts me up. I've been singing it in my head all day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDPojZBgxHE

Soulshine by The Allman Brothers Band

When you can't find the light
That got you through the cloudy days
When the stars ain't shinin' bright
You feel like you've lost you're way
When the candlelight of home
Burns so very far away
Well, you got to let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say
He used to say soulshine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Hey, now people don't mind
We all feel this way sometimes
You gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day
I grew up thinkin' I had it made
Gonna make it on my own
Life can take the strongest man
Make him feel so alone
Now sometimes I feel a cold wind
Blowin' through my achin' bones
I think back to what my daddy said
He said "boy, in this darkness before the dawn"
Let your soul shine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Yeah, now people don't mind
We all get this way sometimes
You've got to let your soul shine, shine till the break of day
Sometimes a man can feel this emptiness
Like a woman has robbed him of his very soul
A woman too, God knows, she can feel like this
And when your world seems cold, you got to let your spirit take control
Let your soul shine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Lord now people don't mind
We all fel this way sometimes
Gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day
Oh, it's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Yeah, now people don't mind
We all feel this way sometimes
You've got to let your soul shine, shine till the break of day
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 15 (view)
 
It seemed so promising.
Posted: 12/8/2018 1:04:10 PM
He was most likely married, bored and unhappy with his wife. He was just looking for attention. I don't know how you put up with all the calls and texting. If the phone call doesn't end with the man asking to meet you and treat you then he is just playing with you for attention and an ego boost. Don't waste your time and better yet don't let someone else waste your time. Better luck next time. Move on.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Turning someone down for sex
Posted: 12/8/2018 7:55:03 AM
MsMicki.. the 3 B's.. Too funny because it's true.

Thank you for the link Natey!!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Turning someone down for sex
Posted: 12/7/2018 8:26:52 AM
Off topic.. Natey. How do you place these emojis on your posts? There used to be a page here where you could read the codes to the different emoji's but I can't find it. The only one I remember is 33. Natey. If you can direct me to that forum link would you please do so?

I have never been rejected for just sex. If I offered it, I got it. Relationships at the "next level" yes.. but never if I expressed my intent was only for something casual. The problem was that most of these "casual" type guys that said they only wanted sex became possessive and controlling and eventually demanded exclusive relationship when that was not what I signed up for.

Years ago I figured out men were fairly simple in their wants and needs. I call it the 3 F's. Feed them, F8ck them and then shut the F8ck up.
So I never had a guy that was truly the other kind of 3 F's. Find them, F8ck them and Forget them. I always had them come back for more. Not bragging, just a fact.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/2/2018 11:36:29 AM
Morta wrote: "Okay I don't hate myself because if I did I would be settling for all those flaky women who want "casual dating nothing serious" but I love myself too much to settle for anything less than being someones "one and only. And I lost my religion years ago, it was a choice of either believing he does not exist or believing he does exist and that he hates me. as I don't ask for much out of life and the little I do ask goes un answered.Matthew 7.7 was the biggest lie ever told."
************************************************************************************************
I didn't mean to imply that you did not love yourself or that you had self loathing. I am sorry if my cliches were to trite in content and you interpreted it internally. I think that the options here for what people are looking for is a failed feature. I am only here for the forums so I could opt for "nothing serious" because I am not looking or searching right now. That doesn't mean I am looking for casual sex now either. The "intent" and it's meanings categorized here could mean one thing to one woman and a completely different interpretation to another. Perhaps you should over look that and engage with the woman via email here and see what that answer means to her, specifically.

Yup.. sometimes the answer to my prayer is NO. I don't know if my God is anyone else's because I don't follow any religion and I just try to believe in something outside of myself God, the universe, the sun whom I can call a "higher power". There may or not be a God but one thing I know is that I am not him/her.

I don't find this to be a lie "Ask, Seek, Knock. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
This script is a script reminding people to take action. Seek, knock and ask. It just means that what you want out of life you have to go out and get it. You will never ever have what you truly desire unless you ASK for it. Good things don't just fall into your lap.

OLD makes finding a mate like searching in a catalog. Real life is not like this. Here, if you find the pond is drying up in your area.. then perhaps you should venture away from online dating. Stop expecting. Go out and see what your options are. Look, Seek, Ask beyond this arena. It's a free site. You get here what your paying for. The same old faces here but who and where can you meet someone if you find situations where you will have more options? I don't know but ask yourself and then go and seek. If you knocked on my door, I would answer it.

Good luck in your "seeking".
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/1/2018 7:13:38 PM
I don't know what is going on in Fort Worth but if you were here near Boston I would contact you. You have an awesome profile and pictures. Stop looking and continue to feel blessed with your life as it is. I believe in God's perfect timing the right person will give you the kind of companionship, kindness, tenderness and love you are searching for. Trust in this process of seeking and if you pray, then pray. Love your life and live a good life.... love will find you. Love yourself and you will attract love in others. The law of attraction. Good luck with your searching.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 39 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 12/1/2018 11:12:31 AM
@July..
"Haven't you ever watched characters in movies and tv shows yelling at each other all angry and stuff and then boom, they start making out and having sex?"

Yes in foolish Soap Operas and in romantic comedies. In Hollywould but that doesn't mean July should.

That was not what you originally described here:
"Hate sex is when you really thoroughly hate someone and you put all your energy into having sex with them. Full of angry passion, only good if both people share the same passion. When too people dislike each other but when serious sexual tension develops."

You want to live your life like a Soap Opera that's your choice but remember you are the one writing the script. No one or situation to blame it on but yourself.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjT_NlbZhco
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 50 (view)
 
If looks do matter.
Posted: 12/1/2018 10:26:49 AM
Daybadaze wrote: "And why did you take over this man's post and insert yourself?"

I used to know someone in fellowship that did this constantly. The whole meeting would revolve around her and no matter what the topic it somehow became all about her.

She was admitting she was sexually frustrated, lonely, insecure, full of self doubt and bored. While everyone in the room would reach out to her to give her very good advice it was constantly falling upon deaf ears. The next meeting she would spout out the same drivel and people would parrot out the same advice wasting their breath.

In program for 28 years now I have met and heard many women do the same. I think it all boils down to attention seeking because they never take the advice they simply want to hear themselves talk or garner sympathy. I don't feel sorry for them. If they want to be seen as victims and thrive doing so their problems are deeper than what any one person can help them solve. They need help beyond the group they are seeking it from and " a lot of hard work" like Day suggests. No one can do this work for you.

If you don't value yourself how can anyone else value you? I know from experience but I learned by listening to others who were trying to help me and I not only listened but I took the harder step into actions that made me more self aware and gave me self respect. Self respect is not something you find on the outside with things or other's approval. It is an inside job. For some a much more difficult job than others.

I think the OP has the same issue. He is insecure. Confidence comes from within. If you become truly confident and accepting of yourself you will not care if women think you are handsome or good looking enough. You will know all that you have to bring to the table and it will show far beyond your looks. I think confidence is very attractive and I believe most women think so too. "Looks" will get you in the door but confidence will assure you that that door will stay open and you will soon find out that that alone will give you more opportunities than none.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 40 (view)
 
What is the latest name-calling Buzz Word you have heard?
Posted: 11/30/2018 11:27:08 AM
@Backcreek LOVE IT!!! My mother used to wear Jean Nate"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtctWultHuw

When the night falls on metropolis
Neon dissonance, warm lipstick
When the moon shines on the playground
I will find you in the tinsel town

Moving shadows in the shape of what you want to see
Painted fingers and the aromatic Jean Nat'
And when they're spinning you can see them do the strangest things
Building bridges from the slivers of another's dream

What ever you want
I'll give it to you, I will
What ever the cost
I'll get it for you, I will

Let's go raining on the sky
Throw a kiss and wave goodbye
Let's go raining on the sky
And one kiss seals the tie

Riding home she falls asleep inside a Checkered Cab
In a dream she comes across Alice In Wonderland
The Maddest Hatter surely had her in the recent past
Now she hears him saying "Honey, you are home at last"

He'll be waiting there and you can start again
Rhinestone darling, know you're taken
You'll have a lot of laughs and Cadillacs and bubble baths
Just say the word and he'll forget about your past

What ever you want
I'll do it to you, I will
What ever the thought
I'll do it for you, I will

Let's go raining on the sky
Throw a kiss and wave goodbye
Let's go raining on the sky
And one kiss seals the tie

When your heart aches with horizon
Caked eyelash, torn nylon
When the light breaks through and frightens you
You'll hear the cry to come raining on the sky

Let's go raining on the sky
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
Let's go raining on the sky
And one kiss seals the tie
Let's go raining on the sky
Let's go raining on the sky
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 36 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 11/30/2018 11:18:30 AM
"Hate sex is when you really thoroughly hate someone and you put all your energy into having sex with them. Full of angry passion, only good if both people share the same passion. When too people dislike each other but when serious sexual tension develops."

Hate is a very strong word and If I loathed someone I could never have sex with them. This sounds like a very unhealthy and dysfunctional sex life. I've never heard of such a thing. I can not feel passionately about someone I "hate". I don't hate anyone but if I had, contempt, disrespect or derision against someone I could never f&ck them. I wouldn't even want to be in the same room. I absolutely do not understand how "sexual tension" could even develop unless both people had mental illness.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 29 (view)
 
If looks do matter.
Posted: 11/30/2018 11:08:01 AM
Of course looks matter. We are biologically made that way. I know when I look at certain men that I would jump their bones in a New York minute. They don't know it but I know it. I don't think anyone wants to f7ck ugly unless they are very desperate or they are drunk having had one too many. I think they call it "beer goggles."

To think looks don't matter is naive. Attraction is the first thing that draws you to someone. Men my age and younger than me tell me they find me attractive. That's why they message me in the first place I assume. Otherwise my inbox would be empty. I've never had a message where someone said. "Hey I think your hideous, would you like to chat?"

So yes, looks do matter. However it is subjective. While one woman may find you repulsive another will think you are average and another may think you are drop dead gorgeous. After all....

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder " ~Margaret Wolfe Hungerford.

https://www.bloomsbury-international.com/en/student-ezone/idiom-of-the-week/list-of-itioms/100-beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder.html
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 32 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 11/29/2018 3:36:44 PM
@July.. " And hate sex is actually not that bad tbh"

I never heard of the term having "hate sex" it seems to be an oxymoron. What in the world do you mean?
I've heard of revenge sex, make up sex. Hate sex, never.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What is the latest name-calling Buzz Word you have heard?
Posted: 11/29/2018 1:50:56 PM
Backcreek... Damn auto correct that was misquoted
"When the debate is lost slander becomes the tool of the user." ~Socrates
it was supposed to say
"When the debate is lost slander becomes the tool of the loser" Socrates
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Interesting things people say in their profile
Posted: 11/29/2018 12:22:21 PM
slavedriver.. you're name alone implies a lot so I don't even understand why woman would respond to you at all if they don't understand BDSM. I have enjoyed being a sub in the past. It's not for every one and safe words are a must. Yes, "To each their own." Why even let people ask why? You are obviously up front about it although the tag could mean you want to be a sub too.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is art attractive?
Posted: 11/29/2018 9:37:22 AM
Fly boy.. You shouldn't paint all artists with the same brush.
You are generalizing and that is just ignorant.
I was always an artist and made money from my paintings and crafts.
I was a teacher for many years and I supplemented my income with art.
It gives me joy, relieves stress and gives me healthy esteem to know people enjoy my work enough to pay for it.
I'm sorry your experience with artists is a negative one but not all artists are like that.
I feel blessed that God gave me these talents and I've shared my creativity with hundreds of children over the years.
Before I was a teacher I was an OT and the fact that I was artistic gave me great advantages in that field.
Fly boy.. You have a broad brush and perhaps you have overlooked small details that paint a more perfect picture of
the advantages of having an artistic eye. It's a gift.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Can’t get this girl off of my mind
Posted: 11/28/2018 8:14:25 AM
Some women might think a man that contacts them a year later has come full circle because he effed all the others that were available to him and none of them worked out. A year later you might think you are not just second choice but the 12th one.. I would say no but if you must... use the contact you already have, not the one you have been stalking her with.

If you love someone set them free
If they come back to you
Set them free again ...
That means no one else wanted them.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What is the latest name-calling Buzz Word you have heard?
Posted: 11/28/2018 7:41:21 AM
@Mawahgirl.. Yes, "white knight" actually more often called "white knight syndrome" is a man who is considered by some men as a man that is trying to rescue women. A man that is a "beta cuck" and let's women control him and use them. I think a more crude term is "p#ssy whipped". You will most often hear this term in groups that identify as MGTOW or men's right activist.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 27 (view)
 
What is the latest name-calling Buzz Word you have heard?
Posted: 11/27/2018 11:17:01 AM
White Knight
Cuck
Mangina
Social Justice Warrior
Snowflake
Nazi
Feminazi
Misogynist
Narcissist
Bipolar
Misandry
Retard
N word
C word
Racist
THOT

."When the debate is lost slander becomes the tool of the user." ~Socrates
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 338 (view)
 
Fake
Posted: 11/26/2018 11:14:59 AM
your conscious led you to forget
the things a year ago made you fret
you wound up your watch every day
you were thinking up new ways to play

your platitudes gave you the strength
even though you knew it was nonsense
your emotions wound up again
you were tripping over what you said next

you were evading the truth anyway
so what would it matter what anyone said
your plans were laid out in September
so why are you looking for attention?

so play
play away
but someday the truth
will get
in your way

play make it up
we all see you
an empty cup
thinking someday
you'll get your fill

but you fight
against your own
will

your fretting still
unhappy soul
can you not
love the rainbow
without searching
for gold?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Fun things to do on first major holiday break with boyfriend?
Posted: 11/25/2018 12:08:38 PM
Okay I will say something else. I agree with most of the above posters that a young adult should stay with their parents as long as they can.

BUT... Not in a unstable environment that is unhealthy and dysfunctional. A young adult that may find themselves in a situation where they are affected by mental illness, addiction, abuse, suspicion, discord, or misery should do everything in their power to move out. It is for their own state of well being and should be their number one priority.

It is not "practical" to stay in a toxic home. You can not put a price tag on your peace of mind.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 23 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 11/24/2018 1:37:17 PM
" a monogamous FWB " that is a girlfriend. That is not an FWB. If you want exclusive you will most likely find yourself in the trappings of a "relationship"... you are playing yourself thinking that FWB is more than what it implies.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Be honest, how long did you know the last person you had sex with?
Posted: 11/24/2018 8:20:49 AM
Three hours... but I continued to have sex with him for ten years. The sex was very good the first time. I don't have inhibitions about my body and he was built like a Greek Adonis. I was 50 and he was 37. I ended it because he started to take steroids and it changed him so dramatically that he wasn't himself anymore. Too bad because it was fun while it lasted.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What is the latest name-calling Buzz Word you have heard?
Posted: 11/21/2018 12:26:58 PM
Feckless C8nt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RMf-5Ou4JM


"What I find Ironic is most of the people doing the name-calling are usually showing strong traits of the name themselves."

Yes transference is real.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Fun things to do on first major holiday break with boyfriend?
Posted: 11/21/2018 9:34:24 AM
Lion. Some people crave attention even if it is negative. This is why I suggest to her that the people here in the forums are perhaps not equipped to truly help her and that she should seek out a professional.

I do not think name calling is helping. Clearly you have followed her troubling threads and responses in the forums which I agree cause a need for alarm.

I find a lot of people here are "askholes". People that want advice but when they are given advice that they reject for one excuse or the other it inspires nothing but anger and they feel put down rather than simply facing the truth.

She clearly insights anger in you and understandably but I think it may behoove you to stay away from her posts and threads. The forums here have more to offer than drivel, ranting and fantasy stories.

I agree with her that we have some gone off topic to try to suggest she be more "practical" but I think it is good advice. If it was me I would be taking the 3 months or so to work full time to get a first and last deposit on an apartment with or without a roommate.

I moved out of my father's home when I was 17 only to return when I was 21 because he had lung cancer and I paid his mortgage, helped him get to doctors, fed him and give him treatments. He died a year later and I was happy I had that last year to spend with him.

God bless you OP in whatever you do. Perhaps the holiday will give you time to reflect on what you need to do to improve upon your situation. It seems you have already a long list of plans for this holiday so I am now uncertain as to why you even posted this thread in the first place. You made the plans back in September.

I hope your bf doesn't read the forums.. that's all I have left to say about any of it.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Fun things to do on first major holiday break with boyfriend?
Posted: 11/21/2018 8:01:59 AM
"Living with my boyfriend is not alone and I said stop woth the snide comments just gtfo, not even on topic. I did not make a thread about fun things to do in the holidays to be harassed and criticized by old women."

Snide? No one here is mocking you directly or indirectly nor has anyone tried to be disparaging, derogatory, deprecating, insulting or dismissive.

The question was about priorities. One only has to follow your history here or know you as a regular poster that you haven't got your ducks in a row. The advice given was to perhaps save your monies or not to plan an extravagant vacation when you are in a living situation that you have complained about often. The advice was to be more stringent and have higher goals so that you can be happy and situated.

MDD does not stop a person from being a productive member of society if it is treated with both medicine and therapy. Perhaps some women here that are more mature and have been in life situations where they had to create change and sacrifice to do so are just trying to tell you the truth.

The truth is not "snide" unless someone is too defensive and fragile to hear it. You have taken it as an insult when it could be considered valid advice.

None of it is my problem so do what you will but when you realize that Beelzebub has a devil set aside for you and life gets unbearable I hope you realize that the money that was gifted to you by the grace of God should not have been squandered on lavish things before you got yourself settled in a situation where you could be completely happy alone.

A bf of 8 months is not someone you know well enough to be dependent upon him. It may eventually go down the tubes because you can not carry your own weight in the relationship. Or you may possibly find out that mathematically he slept with more than 18 women and then.....

Good luck anyway.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
wow I paid so I can get this message
Posted: 11/19/2018 7:35:41 PM
I read the rules when I joined in 2008 and 50 has always been the limit. It was designed so bots couldn't send out mass messages for scams.

Sending copy and paste messages never works. I would place a bet that you have been ignored more times than not because every woman online dating, no matter what site, can tell when a message is copy and pasted.

It certainly doesn't make anyone feel special when they know a man is sending the same message to 50 women. It seems desperate to me. I think beta cucks and mangina's do it. Trying to brag and be the white knight that every woman is looking for. They are usually droll and the man that do this are braggarts.

They give you a sales pitch... you and 49 other women. I always think "Go take a shit in your hat" and click next or block.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What makes a good first message?
Posted: 11/19/2018 2:54:18 PM
Keep it simple.. An introduction. A request to chat further. First message should be brief. Don't waste time writing too much. If a woman is interested she will respond. Most won't if there is nothing about you that sparks their interest. Be yourself and KEEP IT SIMPLE> Some bad advice here. Search "no replies" most men regret all the time and effort they put into first messages only to be ignored. Your message is off putting. A woman that has no interest does not want to be quizzed with 20 questions. Let conversations happen more organically not so contrived by asking way to many questions. Not good and more often than not a complete waste of time.

This topic is done to death. Do a thread search. Enter "first message as your key words." You will find hundreds of threads with this redundant topic.
HERE: https://forums.plentyoffish.com/search.aspx

"From personal experience guys would mainly do short messages to me because they pretty much want sex and don't give a damn"
Not true and not a good mindset for online dating. Any man that contacts you probably can imagine and would desire sex from you. Even the men that want marriage. What do you think they want on the wedding night? To do crossword puzzles? I think you are shooting yourself in the foot.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 139 (view)
 
How men mathematically sleep with more people than women
Posted: 11/19/2018 1:50:16 PM
"Probably should just forget about the whole thing."

YES!! Please do. This whole thread has been a shit show of your bad behavior. I am embarrassed for you. You don't know when to stop. The arguing and lack of civility is disgusting. You keep responding and perpetuating vile retorts and a back and forth of insults and degrading language. Just give it up. Do us all a favor and let this thread die.

The topic in itself is lame. Who cares? I don't believe it to be true or to be of any importance. What matters is if a man or woman has the ability to pair bond and be loyal and faithful to you. Not how many partners they have or have not had in the past.

Stop behaving as if you are superior to others and their opinions. Agree to disagree like a grown woman and stop trolling. Please "forget about the whole thing"!!! FFS enough is enough. Yes, I have read your history and the best advice you have here is to get some therapy. You have issues that no one here in the forums is equipped to really help you with. Seek professional help. I am stating this in the most kind way. Therapy has helped me in the past. When my husband died I went to grief counseling.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Fun things to do on first major holiday break with boyfriend?
Posted: 11/19/2018 12:37:19 PM
I would not say the comment is snide... it is practical. You are 26 your number 1 priority should be moving out of your parents home. My youngest is 21, going to college full time and working part time. Her goal is to move out after Fall 2019 and she is saving her pennies to do so. No extravagant purchases or trips or jewelry or clothing. If I was your mother or father I would question your choices. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some to reach your more positive goals.

All of my daughters were working by age 16 and contributing to the household expenses. I did not coddle them. They all thank me for it now that I didn't just hand things over to them on a silver platter. They were more prepared to be independent and resourceful on their own. No good excuse at 26 years old to be still living at home with your parents and especially without a job.

Practical.. look it up.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How long did it take to get your divorce/separation finalized and move on with your life?
Posted: 11/19/2018 9:50:00 AM
Pity for the children that they only get to see their father once a month. I would encourage him to try to make arrangements that give them more time with their father. Children need their fathers as much as they need the care and nurturing of their mothers. You don't trust his word, you have to come to terms with the fact that he is presenting as a disabled person and accept it. You are dismissing him as lazy and that is not very compassionate towards a man you loved enough to marry. You don't know his pain and you I am certain you would not want it. Once he gets disability compensation from whatever source than you will perhaps be awarded some amount of money. In the meantime you should strive to find a way to independently care for your children's needs without his help or monies.

"the laws to be become more justified for men, would you support it?"

The laws are biased against men and they need to be changed. Sometimes the woman is the abuser, the stalker, the criminal, the parent that neglects the child more but in the face of the system she is granted custody based on gender alone. The system is flawed and I have seen many children fall through the cracks in my years of teaching. Very sad.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Acceptable first messages???
Posted: 11/19/2018 8:42:02 AM
My best advice is to just be yourself. Imagine you are speaking in person. What would you say? A simple introduction. Same here. Introduce yourself and suggest that you would like to chat or ask if she has time to chat. Easy. Don't complicate it or try to write a Bible. Keep it SIMPLE!

There are also hundreds and hundreds of questions such as yours here in the Forums. Go to search and type in your key words to this question and you will have many many threads to read. This question is perhaps the most redundant question here with the possible exception of "Why am I getting no replies"?
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Loose skin a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/19/2018 8:37:02 AM
Your fear is unfounded at this point. Go to Victoria's Secret or same type store and try on some undergarments that you can wear that make you feel sexy. Sex is in the mind! If you exude confidence and focus on the pleasure instead of your insecurities that will help. I have been "nervous" about the first time with a new partner before and I faked it until I made it. I've never had a complaint.. not yet. I have "mad skills" that make up for any flaws in my face or body. Just please yourself and the man will be just as pleasured. Don't disclose your fears to this guy, just show up and just do it!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Science Says Finding Your Soul Mate Is Basically Impossible
Posted: 11/16/2018 3:02:15 PM
Most people think a soulmate is someone who is a romantic partner. In my experience it was quite the opposite. We were intimate but we had many problems and the relationship ended badly.

He was my soulmate because during this relationship he led me to find my weaknesses. He led me to see where I was spiritual lacking. He brought out the worst in me. He clearly made me see my flaws and shortcomings. He made it obvious to me to see what I needed to improve upon. He made me acknowledge that I needed a closer relationship with my higher power.

Simply put he brought me closer to God. Not all soulmates are loving, nurturing relationships. Some can slay you emotionally and bring out the deepest seeded pain that kept you from developing spiritually.

I hated him for awhile until I realized I should and was grateful for that relationship. It got me sober. It made me stronger. I became better in the process of healing the emotional wounds. I became a better mother, sister and friend. I healed. I found my weaknesses that were internalized in my being. He changed me forever. I am devote and faithful now and happier.

It was a roller coaster ride. I was on a constant merry-go-round but that ride made me find my inner child, my self loathing, my battered ego, my childhood scars, my broken pieces and most importantly my true self. The person I aspired to be.

I stopped allowing people to abuse me and walk all over me. I stopped negative and self depreciating behavior. I stopped sabotaging my own life by making poor choices. I stopped looking for validation through other people. I stopped trying to change so a man would love me. I stopped betraying myself. I stopped being a "people pleaser" and had a stronger desire to please God.

He was definitely my soulmate. He healed my soul and through my weaknesses I found my strengths. Not all soulmates will love you but all soulmates will lead you back to your God.

Thank you Scott.
 
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