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 Author Thread: I'm rather confused as to why people seek relationships.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
I'm rather confused as to why people seek relationships.
Posted: 1/10/2014 3:09:07 PM
Bayonetta:

It’s not an illusion in it’s entirety, its human evolution and learned behavior passed down for thousands of years of human conditioning, feeling, traditions and lifestyle.

The only illusion I see is the thousands of years of brainwashing through religion, cultures and emotions.

If we convince ourselves through feelings and emotions that being in relationships and having sex/love is what the whole world does, then we adopt our lifestyles to such feelings and emotions to follow the same human pattern set down since the beginning of time.

The organism is a very powerful source of inspiration.

The "hand" part of your post... well, most people enjoy another's company to ones own.
Lol
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
If you could ask your Ex one Question...
Posted: 12/29/2013 5:17:31 AM
I have ex’es , not one.

This question would be applicable to all of them:

What is it about me that drove you from wonderful to living a cheating, lying, manipulating, and financial ruin while you went down the road of addiction to hell, while going from success to a lazy bum all the while pulling my heart out of my chest?

Never mind, I know the answer, because I loved you.

I’ve learned to be alone, and I’ve learned to like it!
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2013 3:40:08 PM
"The difference between insanity and genius is success" so you say, but there will always be insane consequences for such success.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Income Level and Dating Expectations
Posted: 12/27/2013 2:43:44 PM
I used to think income, residence, and education made a difference in dating and meeting men.

What I discovered it’s not completely about any of the above scenarios that make a person a good or bad person. What is less apparent is the sanity of the individuals that I look twice at or for...

Nuts don’t fall to far from the tree, so with that rationale it doesn’t matter who a person is, or where they live, or how much income they have it’s more about how they were raised, and how they have turned in out in their adult age, etc.

Mental health and stability doesn’t pick the venue or income of a person’s sanity.
I just want sanity.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 47 (view)
 
[H]Women who are addicts/traumatic pasts are attracted to me..
Posted: 11/21/2013 6:38:15 PM
Many people drink all the time, its part of our society…. There are more bad in life, then there is good in this world.

To change one’s life and the scenarios that we don’t want in our lives is to change the scenarios, and to change the scenarios is to change your life. Meaning, stops drinking, find another hobby, find your God source, date women who live a healthy life style. Don’t settle for less. Stay your course… Most of all don't be afraid of being alone. Sometimes, people need to learn to be alone before they can truly begin to live, and learn to be with another. Forgive yourself first, to forgive yourself you learn to forgive others...

Date often, but get to know the women you date before you start falling for them. In other words, six months is usually when a person’s true colors and lifestyle reflect outwards. If you see something in someone that is not your lifestyle, then be strong enough to let them go. Don't stay with another if they are not what you want. Don't be afraid to say goodbye to a woman who doesn't bring you happiness. Don't blame yourself for their woes. Feel sorry (compassion), and pray for them, but learn discernment and how to utilize it!

Understand now?
Don’t be afraid of change, change starts with you.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Kilt on a first date?
Posted: 11/19/2013 4:30:57 PM
I can see if you have one in your family, but just to be wearing one other than halloween is just a tad weird in my opinion on a first date....

However, I love the "steam punk" look... I wonder how a man would view me showing up on a first date in that outfit, lol...

As you know, first impressions are lasting impressions.... hum?

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
She said she has these feelings for me but doesn't want a relationship.
Posted: 11/12/2013 5:24:14 PM
It was all exciting up to the point you had sex with her, now it’s not as exciting, because now she knows you physically, and that’s why the texting and communication has slowed down... Too bad for her!

She sampled you and she doesn’t feel anything more than a friendship.

I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Emotional IntellIgence
Posted: 11/12/2013 5:10:05 PM
Very true, but the problem begins at youth...

Too bad our school systems in all aspect of education would teach "emotional intelligence" along with book intelligence... I'd like to see a school book on that subject. lol ego, amigo smigo....

If they keep taking "god" out of the equation the colder the heart becomes.... IMO.

Coming from a book smart psycholotherapist, I thank you.

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Is it ok to show up at my mans house unannounced??
Posted: 9/25/2013 6:24:15 PM
Hi Sunbeam,

I am sorry to say this, but I don't think your man is ready for a real relationship. I don't think you did anything wrong, and I think that after three years you shouldn't have to schedule appointments to see your boyfriend! Something is wrong alright...

He's just not that into you!

Sorry sweetie, time to start dating someone who would love to taste those home made cookies, and love it when you want to pop in to see him!

Always follow your gut feeling! A woman's intuition is her best direction!

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
How much space to give him? Pregnant and hurting.
Posted: 9/25/2013 6:12:34 PM
This is another story of a woman getting pregnant by a man who never loved her from the start....

You're going to have a baby, and be a single parent. Move on, get your career set while you have time, and leave the man a lone! He doesn't want you or the baby! He never wanted you and you can't make him love you or the baby!

Put his name on the birth certificate, why punish a child that isn't even born yet! Idiot actions if you don't!

And the guy that wants to date you while your pregnant with another man's child is just as full as much drama as you are!

Stay away from ALL men and focus on the baby's future!

Good Luck,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Would you date a sarcastic woman?
Posted: 9/11/2013 4:15:11 AM
The problem with people who use sarcastic remarks as a form of joking around, usually are not capable of laughing at any other form of humor (ex: slapstick, dry, etc...). They will usually stand there with their thumb in their mouths... with the look of, "I don't think that is funny", which is really alarming to me.

In a different way, neither are these people capable of finding humor in all the different types of situations that may arise, which can also be very funny. With them, it's either sarcasm or nothing.

Sad, but true with most sarcastic jokers.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Sloppy Seconds: Acceptable or no? For older daters.
Posted: 8/7/2013 9:41:53 AM
I just don't believe it was ever meant to be, because if it was none of this would be happening...

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Did this first date go okay?
Posted: 8/5/2013 2:05:21 PM
"He said he wasn't tired, but then said it was past his bed time"

Honestly, I think the guy was staring at you to see if you were getting all worked up over him as he was with you. I think he figured out that you just weren't going to jump in the sac with him. ".....past his bed time" lie was just a read between lines comment... to say he wasn't tired, staring at you, and sayng it was past his bed time, tells me he's creepy and was looking for sex.

I wouldn't want that man to ever call me again. He sounds creepy, and I think you are better off without him!

Just my opinion.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Love someone, great sex, but no physical attraction??
Posted: 8/3/2013 7:41:40 AM
I’m confused now, the difference between “hot” and “beautiful”. Is hot always a sex driven desire and “beautiful” a sitting across the table admiring the woman while she sips her tea a totally different emotion, and according to you (OP) you have divided these adjectives.

When I read your post OP I thought he has a desire for a hot woman, but still wants the lady at the table to come home too…. But, I wonder if the beautiful lady at the table could ever truly provide you with the desire of the whore mentality for the rest of your life?

I guess, it all comes to the many different levels of love that a human being can feel, and knowing that as the years go by the lady at the table will still be at the table and the whore mentality will still remain in the sheets. Also in the years to come the beautiful lady and the whore mentality will end up like everybody else in a long term relationship, after awhile everybody ends up at the table, everybody has to eat.

I had a friend who manufactured his own woman. He provided the means for new teeth, bigger boobs, plastic surgery; he paid for her reconstruction. The thing is for him he finally found what he wanted in a woman because he manufactured her, and for her, she found a man financially capable of providing everything she wanted. The last I heard they are still together.

The moral of this story is be careful what you THINK you want, rather than KNOWING what you truly want, and not to mess with others by using them until you can figure out what you both truly NEED for long term happiness.

Why don't you just talk to her?

Take Care,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
He's not that into me, is he?
Posted: 8/2/2013 10:47:36 AM
"Before we left, we talked a bit about what we wanted. He said that if we were in the same state, he would like to date me and do the girlfriend-boyfriend thing. Because we do not live close to each other, I agreed with him and didn't push for anything either. Although I did tell him that I am not interested in being a casual girl. He said he doesn't want me to be casual either. We left on the note that he would visit me in the near future."

My response is you should of had the (above) conversation before the sex...

Most likely, and I don't mean to be cruel is the encounter ended before you had the above conversation. Next time, if you really, really like someone find out where you stand before you sleep/have sex with them.

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Won't tell me his last name
Posted: 8/2/2013 10:40:44 AM
Why would you want to date someone that refuses to give you his last name, are you that desperate for a man?

Seriously, in this day and age someone hiding their last name from someone they want to date, is very disarming to me, but hey that's me!

I would never assoicate myself with someone who is so hidden for lost of other words. Don't give him your address, please....

Gawd....
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How to feel better??
Posted: 8/2/2013 9:13:53 AM
I do believe in love at first site, but it can be one sided too. Which is what I think happen to you and him. As he found an equal feeling with another, that happen to be two-sided.

Unfortuately, these things happen. It's sad and I feel for you, but you should not take it personally. Things in life have a way of going either way, it happens all the time.

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, and rejected you are!

Take time to heal....
The future will turn in you favor someday. Believe that it happen for the best, and someday you will understand why...
Take Care,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
how many second chances?
Posted: 7/30/2013 10:15:28 AM
Awe, to love so deeply for nothing, sigh...

I feel bad for you, because the man you love doesn’t love or is incapable of the same love.

I was told once so long ago, that when the doubts/fights/uncertainty start the relationship is already over. You can keep going back and forth a hundred times, but the circle meets where it began.

You need to heal from this. I don’t believe you made the wrong choice. I think you just had enough! Enough is Enough! You are so emotionally scarred which stands out in your whole thread…

Your pain is obvious.

You did the right thing…

Real love never keeps the other hurting and wondering….

Sweetie, pick yourself up, heal and move forward in your life. Leave the past behind…

Someday, you will be thankful you finally had such courage to leave the heartache behind...

Best of luck to you!
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Older womanm by 18 years
Posted: 7/30/2013 6:41:14 AM
Maybe I’m dumber than a box of rocks, but I do not understand what you mean by “pushing”. Let me look in my crystal ball. My guess is: Are you saying that you and this lady haven’t had sex and that you are pushing her towards sex? Ok, so I’m going to “assume” that is what you mean.

Honey, most 69 year old women don’t even think about sex. They think of companionships, which is what it seems like you are having. If she is cooking for you and you two are going to movies that sounds like a companion role to me.

The other thing, You make me wonder why you’re acting like a child. It’s not like you two haven’t been around the block! I’m wondering why you can’t just come right out and ask her? Tell her you’re a horny man and you’re wondering when she will offer up the goods?

Maybe not so direct… lol..

How old are you, really?
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What's the REAL reason we're single?
Posted: 7/30/2013 5:32:56 AM
There are many reasons why I “choose” to be single, and basically it comes down to having my own freedom to choose what I want to do, when I want to do it, how I want to do it. I like not explaining myself to another person. I’m not a clingy person, and I don’t have the need to be wrapped around a body 24/7. Relationships seem to be very needy in substance; the need to be together, the need for sex, the need to have company. The need and fear of being alone.

This probably all sounds terrible to most people who want and seek relationships, but for me it’s much better to have total freedom then to have to be in a confined one.

That’s only one of my many reasons.

Then there is the age of men my age. The amounts of baggage most bring seem to be a large force in their lives. I live a drama free life and I like that a lot. I’m at peace. I don’t have to look over my shoulder. I don’t have to wonder about what they are thinking, wanting and needing.

I’m just thankful I have loads of friends and a family, so I don’t feel lonely. If I didn’t have my family and friends I would most likely end up with a drunk or some loser from a bad past relationship, because my picker is always off and it’s never set right. It’s like having a broken compass.

However, I never say never, because who knows maybe I’ll meet a man who is as happy and carefree as me, but the chances are slim, but if I did, I would give it a shot. Until that time, I just love my life, and I appreciate my family, friends and co-workers.

Life is good, why create drama by bringing someone into a good situation so that they can create chaos for me? In the meantime….I’ll just keep on smiling, and try to be a good listener to other people who need someone to talk to while their relationships are miserable and based on need. I’ll watch their fear and hold their hand until they figure it out.

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/13/2013 11:09:16 AM
You know timeforall, you sound bitter actually.

Again, this thread wasn’t about “women” this was about men.

How can you compare either sex to a twenty-five year old man or woman to a 50 aged and above aged person? We aren't talking about young people!

The way you sound, and I don’t know your age, I didn’t bother to read your profile, but if you’re NOT twenty-five years old you sure have some thoughts about a twenty five year old women’s “mouthwatering midsection”! So you like those young ones do you, assuming you’re my age I wonder about your state of being? Lol…

I don’t check out men that young, sorry. I’m not looking at mid sections of men; I'm looking at their body language and how they carry themselves, then I look at their faces, neck, etc. These areas say it all. I could careless if he had the body of a twenty or older person. I'm looking at the history which many wear this proof all over them if you know how to see it, and many people aren't even aware of it!

I wasn’t talking about a man over weight so much as “some” men at the age of 50 and above looking used up, you know that “been around and around look”! I’ve seen over weight men that DID NOT have that “used up look” and were very attractive, but weight wise unhealthy.

I guess, if you got the look, this thread wouldn’t sit well with you? Understandable.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/9/2013 8:28:20 PM
Hey or_current_.....:

I don’t think I ranted or am trolling for attention. Please don’t tire yourself out by humoring yourself.

I can rant, read and learn: So you are 90 years old according to your profile, and you are here for the forum, and you have master degree, lol…. Right!

Looks matter to me I will admit. I don’t go for the heart that mushy stuff I leave to grandfathers your age.
I didn’t “pigeon hole” anybody, but obviously you feel I did you!

You make me laugh, what is the “big pic of life”? *where to start….

I see you jumped off your couch or out of your wheel chair to sarcastically insult me! Hum, I didn’t think about “manhood”…now that you brought it up, How’s that ED working out for you in your virility? lmao, right!

Please, now go make yourself some popcorn and read more of the forum…I’ll try to keep posting some hot stuff for you so that you can come back an insult me some more. Get’s you up and going, doesn’t? I enjoy helping out seniors.

No need to thank me, it was my pleasure.
Cheerio!
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Need Advice males and females of pof, PLSSSS
Posted: 7/9/2013 5:37:02 AM
If you gave her a chance, it probably wouldn't work out down the road.

You have always been sure of your feelings for her, she hasn't. This tells me it was never meant to be, and out of some sort twisted desperation she finally change her mind.

I'd distance myself from her, and move forward in my life.

But most likely you'll follow your heart and end up burned again, sigh....

Take Care,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/7/2013 1:27:22 PM
How is posting a question about men around my age looking older than their age hilarious? You seem to be insulted and laugh (hilarious) this off as something mean and degrading for some reason within yourself, that’s not my problem.

I started this thread not about women aging or about myself. I started this thread because I’ve noticed that men at my age don’t look 50-ish they look (I will be more accurate) 60 and 70 years old. I posted this thread because I wanted to know why MOST men and not women seem to look double older than their true age, period.

For the record, I don't make a habit of checking women out for a possible relationship, so their looks don't mean nothing to me.

When I started this thread, I didn’t mean to disrespect anybody, I was simply curious if other women around 50-ish have noticed this about men in this age group also?

I do not post my picture because I am not looking for a relationship and neither am I interested in dating right now, but I can assure you that I am holding up pretty good for being 52 years old, and I do not look my age. My last boyfriend was eight years younger than me, and to be honest he looked ten years older than his age.

I just want to know why you feel the need to be sarcastic as you are finding this post hilarious, but please take time off and figure out why you think this is so damn funny, really. I don’t think it’s “hilarious” and it was a genuine question.

And now I really could care less, because I do know why now.

Thanks to those responders who really took time out of their day to be forth right and not laugh at my curious post.
Excuse me, next time I’ll incorporate both sexes so not to put someone’s jockey’s in a twist.

By the way looking at your picture (orzarkguy) you look around 70 years old (to me), is that your age? Just being honest, and it's just my opinion. I don't think that's funny though, but you might!
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why is she on a dating website if she does not want to date ??
Posted: 7/5/2013 5:59:38 PM
Why? Did this happen to you “I don't understand these people you talk to for months and months” Did you talk to someone on a date site for “months and months” and some woman told you that she didn’t want a boyfriend after “months and months” of talking to her? If this did happen to you and if she has a profile up and a picture she probably told you this, because she just wasn’t interested in you other than being a friend.

See below
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100213141519AAqmUBs There's this guy who really likes me and has asked me out several times and I've told him straight out that I'm just not interested in a relationship right now and that I'm happy just being friends with him. But I also just don't find him attractive, physically. He has a great personality but I just don't feel *any* physical attraction to him whatsoever.
Is that shallow?

Answer: No, I don't consider it shallow. You have to have some sort of physical attraction to someone to be with them. It is unfair to both you and them if you don't because it will be a one sided attraction. Relationships are built on physical and mental attraction; it doesn't work with just one.
Don't worry; you are not being shallow :).

Answer: I don't think its shallow of you. For a relationship to work there has to be attraction on all levels, and if you are missing physical attraction it just wouldn't work out. I think you are making the right choice.

Answer: No, I personally am the same. If a guy has a great personality AND he's attractive, there's a bigger chance of me going out with him. It's just the way I am.

Answer: Not at all! I've been in situations like that! Don't go out with someone you don't like! Of course looks aren't everything, but they still play a factor in relationships.

Those are answers from yahoo ask a question.

I don’t think these women or people on POF are shallow, if anything people just don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings by rejecting them for anything other than a friendship.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/4/2013 5:37:04 PM
It was just a figure of speech.

It's a saying and one I guess you've never heard of before! I've heard people say it hundred of times. Excuse me for not being more accurate. I didn't realize you live on an island and probably never heard it before...

Give me a break,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/4/2013 3:05:33 PM
I have noticed that everybody is so concerned about makeup. I think makeup enhances most woman. Granted there are women who shouldn’t wear makeup because they don’t have the bone structure or they simply are lovelier without it, or they simply do not know how to apply it.

LOL...It’s not so much the makeup that I notice men wearing though, lol… I did notice Bret Michaels likes the eye liner, lmao, lol…. I’m not sure I like it on him, and yet I hear he’s bald and has hair extensions! No kidding. Just think how different he would look without the hair and eye liner! Wow! I still think women would find him hot because he’s in great shape and well groomed!

It’s not so much the looks that I was referring to… It’s hard to explain. I think it’s a combination of lack of grooming, bathing, health, genetics, etc… Like hair in the ears, or the eyebrows that go every which way… maybe, men don’t think they need to even those irregularities out even though they have great looking bodies, or not so great looking bodies?

I appreciate everybody’s responses. I think, I’ll let this rest I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some men that are holding strong and others are not as the aging process takes it’s course (mostly in my area)! Some care and some don't!

I do apologize if I offended anybody.
Take Care and thanks!
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/3/2013 10:30:32 AM
No, men my age aren't turn offs, but I'm not looking for a relationship either. If I was looking for a relationship or a man I would look around my age group, which is why I asked this question to begin with, because I am very aware of men in my age group, if that makes sense? lol...

I could see how hard work and all the rest listed here may be most of the cause of the aging processes.

I also noticed that these men that I notice don't seem to even care about grooming, etc. Maybe, I've just been at the wrong place at the wrong time and all these men that I've noticed are just getting out of work. lol...

I didn't mean to put men in a corner, for I realize many women are not holding it together either, but I honestly don't look at women like I look at men, and that is why I asked the question.

I don't have a problem with makeup, or a man dying his hair, etc. I think it's important not to look so beat up or appear in public as if a person just climbed out of bed and threw some sweats on... This is what they look like, it's a shame that people don't work a little bet harder at their appearances, especially single mature people, and especially if they are looking for relationships.

I was just wondering if others notice this as much as I do that is all....

Thanks everybody for your responses.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/2/2013 9:08:38 PM
Thanks

I am not talking about all men, and I am not including women in this for a reason. I was wondering...

You three men that have replied so far look great! Maybe it's my location. Most men around my age and around my location look so old...

Even the ones in shape just have a aura of oldness about them.... Like they been around and around...

I notice this in grocery stores and in everyday life. I don't go to bars, I couldn't imagine how bad that would be, lol

Maybe this was just a stupid subject to bring up, but I thought some women might have some information as to why this is with older men, and if they have noticed this also.

Thanks again,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why do most men look twice their age after 50?
Posted: 7/2/2013 8:28:18 PM
Why do most men look twice their age once they reach ages between 50 to 60?

Most of them have that “all used up look”.

I have noticed this a lot in my age bracket, and I was wondering why men my age look so old.

Is it their lifestyles, hardaches or just genetics?

Why?
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
In all honesty, how important is oral sex?
Posted: 6/30/2013 6:59:40 PM
I’m not sure what you are asking here? I’m getting that you are shy “weird” and “not afraid” about going down on a woman and that you could care less if you received a blowjob.

What are you asking, or are you just validating your likes and dislikes in this department for us boring people here on the forum? Lol….

Have you tried 69 to keep your mind busy? lol... that will really trick your trigger, lol...
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Does online dating cause people to never be satisified with what they have?
Posted: 6/30/2013 6:20:17 PM
I agree with you one-hundred percent! I’ve noticed this too with my friends.

The thing is this they find the best that is for them at the time. They become somehow so enlightened that they think they deserve better, then they think they can find better, dump the one they were supposed to be with and in the end after they dump them for someone else they figure out they didn’t appreciate the one they were with, and they didn’t realize they had the best they were ever going to get! Ego shot right to the head! lol...That is what a muse (SO) will do, make the other person feel like they are high on the mountain.

The other thing is, they will always try to go back to their ex, happens every time…

Blind-sided, egomaniac idiots!

There are all kinds of losers in the world, and your two friends are a shining example of how the ego takes over….

Watch them and learn…You are seeing it play out right before your eyes…

The next thing that will happen they will be crying to you on the phone or in person how stupid they were to dump their SO for a new ride that “didn’t turn out as they thought they would”! Dumb arses…

A ten doesn’t always mean they will be a ten in heart and soul (compatibility is a priceless thing)!

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Continuing to chat after their holiday?
Posted: 6/28/2013 8:26:15 PM
Why not send her a cute little present or flowers with a note on it saying something like this, "hope your trip is as wonderful and beautiful as you are", and include your phone number.

She'll call you when she gets home.

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Advice .. married but almost single
Posted: 6/28/2013 7:50:36 PM
A person can’t help who they’re attracted to, and I’m not sure why you have this need to “flirt”, that just sounds childish to me, or perhaps you simply are afraid that if you stop “flirting” he’ll lose interest in you faster than a speed ball heading for home base?

I honestly believe that the worse thing anybody can do is get involved with a unfinished triangle. Meaning, all ends are still open and still evolving.

Some people have actually got involved in situations like this and sometimes they work out and sometimes they don’t, that’s the chance people will take for a possible love connection.

No matter how you look this situation there is a lot of unfinished business here that involves a family and other people. To be involved with a married couple with problems and a divorce lingering in the near future, in my opinion is like trying out for a role in a soap opera. Why people never seem to realize there are other people involved in these pending divorces is beyond me.

You contradicted yourself here: “could he really be interested in me” and ““I can tell he's interested”
Honestly OP. Don’t hate me for being honest, but it sounds like you are totally confused and this kind of confusion is usually based on selfish lust.

I think the other poster also had it right when she mentioned “rebound”.

Look, if you want to get involved in this upcoming mess of divorce, and think that this man will not be messed up or confused over the loss of breaking up his family, and then you need to adjust your thinking and curb your appetite. In other words, really think about all the drama heading your way! Unless, you like drama and being in the middle of other people’s problems and family hurts then hop on the band wagon and get your rocks off!

I think you’re afraid if you don’t jump on this situation you won’t have a chance with this guy down the road, that’s what I think, but maybe I am wrong?

If down the road, say a year or so later, maybe you could date him, if he's still around, but there will not be a guarantee that you will not become a rebound at that time either…

Touchy situation for sure!

Good luck, make a sound and a true choice. I believe that if a person has doubts followed by uncertainty then the answer always ends up as I should of said NO, by then it's usually too late.

Take what you want, and leave the rest.
Take Care,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Finding love when your older, is it possible? Really?
Posted: 6/27/2013 1:04:04 PM
There are other kinds of love to appreciate in life if you are not in a one to one relationship. It's not the end of all things just because you don't have a mate and not "in love".

The greatest gift anybody can give another is when a person has been alone and is not desparately needing another person to make them feel complete.

Find your true self, and you will find equal love.

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I can no longer talk to my best mate
Posted: 6/27/2013 12:57:40 PM
Wow...

I'm, I would find me a real life man, and then show up at the next birthday party held at my mates house with him.

Online dating is like saying I stand in line at the unemployment office and I'm happy about it. Hey mate, hope you are happy for me that I'm just another number...

Really?

I don't think it's anybody's business why you are so happy being on a date site, but that's just my opinion.

Good luck with on line dating... Becareful...

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
emotionally damaged
Posted: 6/23/2013 8:53:54 AM
If on your date you both were having a conversation about past relationships, and she starts telling you about her past relationship, then you asked for the information.

Next time, don't ask about her past and then you won't have to blame it on her past if she is not into you.

Maybe, you're boring? To me your picture looks like you are boring.... I don't know why, but that is what I am picking up. maybe you're not, who knows, but you! lol...

Before you even ask a woman out on a date. Ask her in the early stages of communication if she has issues from her most recent past, and if she does then tell her no thank you, and move on....

Simple.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
After two months now what?
Posted: 6/23/2013 8:46:45 AM
You're cheap for one thing. "never buy a girl flowers until you've talked about being exclusive". What? you can't afford flowers unless she is the one! Whatever....

Anyhow, she is not interested in an "exclusive" relationship with you. She's probably one of those women that will call you to get laid, and that's it.

There are women out there believe it or not that enjoy an occasional flop in the sack with men they feel that they can trust, which she must feel 'save' having sex with you.

Sorry, but that is what person gets when they are looking for a real commited relationship and before they even can talk about the possiblities of it they are already sleeping with each other.

Learn from this!
Good luck next time.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
There is someone special for everyone out there? :|
Posted: 6/21/2013 8:00:59 AM
Yes I do believe this, but I don’t believe that it can mean forever for everyone.

I don’t believe men were created to be with just one woman. All through history men have always had more than one wife, etc. I believe they are wired this way and haven’t evolved yet even though Christianity says all should have only one and be married.

But, I do believe that not all women were meant to be with one man either. It’s what we want as women, but that doesn’t mean that it’s real….reality.

I think it’s all about the choices we make in life. We can choose to be in one relationship or not.

Like I mentioned, it’s all about choices, period and how well a person controls them mentally. For example, an urge, does a person lead with their urge or reason out the urge then act, or do they just act upon the urge, and not acknowledge the future consequences before the action?

Choices.

Too heavy of a burden if you ask me! It gives me a headache just thinking about it and writing it, lol…
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Intelligence and dating
Posted: 6/21/2013 7:10:20 AM
When I was in college, half of the students in my classes barely got through each class with a 2.0 GPA. So I ask, if you were ill, would you want to see a doctor that graduated with a 2.0 or would you want to see a doctor who graduated with a 4.0?

I’ve witnessed companies close due to upper management thinking they knew everything, because they had a degree, and I’ve witnessed people looking up to them because of their so called education (aka “Book smarts”). I’ve witnessed upper management drag a whole company down, because the people who hired these people saw only the degree, and knew nothing about the person they hired. People can bullshit their way through anything, if they have the gift of selling themselves. Especially through modern day “job interview techniques” that corporations use for hiring purposes. Five times out of ten these people that they hire can be very dangerous futuristic employees. Employers don’t realize that people study these techniques and use them as scripts. Memorizing scripts of any kind doesn’t mean the person will be a well rounded individual and good for their company.

What I’ve learned in my life about people like this is they lack wisdom. People that have lived and are “street smart” combined with an education, and at least carried a 3.0 GPA or higher in college or training seem to be the brightest people. They have common sense, and common sense is one of greatest gift a person can have! Common sense also carries within its perimeters wisdom, integrity, honesty, and purpose. How a person uses these gifts depends on their mental body.

Ok that’s just the brain (the mental body). What about the other three bodies that makes up the human physic? There’s 2. emotional body, 3.spiritual body, and 4.etheric body. Everybody (IMO) should be balanced in these four bodies. However most people have never heard of these, and have no idea what they mean. If one or more of these are out of balance… well within each category a person sees the outcome in everyday life, through the media for example. Another example, terrorist are not balanced people. They solely work off their spiritual body and mental bodies, and their other bodies are off balanced. Let’s say, we meet someone who works off their spiritual body only, what do you get to witness? People that work off their mental bodies what do you see? Ego, pride, etc… Enron falling down! You get my point right? Shuffle them around and look at each through a microscope and you will see how others are either balanced or unbalanced. As you become more aware of these bodies you will start seeing it in your everyday life and in your surroundings.

If you can find a man that has all four of these balanced, and your four bodies are balanced then you might have a match of a life time!

Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to find such well rounded individuals in this day and age. When you do find these types of people, they are jewels, diamonds in the rough.

I’m not saying become a freak about it. I’m just saying consider the possibility of them. Maybe, you’ll get a little wisdom in the journey? Maybe, you might find a real solid person that you can trust and believe in?

Sorry so long..
Thanks for reading,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
After First Date Blues
Posted: 6/20/2013 2:05:34 PM
If you really, really liked her... After the date you should call her, just to make sure she got home ok. However, If you dropped her off.... the next day, say in the after noon you should "call her" not text her. If she doesn't answer, leave a voice mail with your phone number and ask her to call you back.

If she calls you back, you know she "likes you". Set up another date before you hang up the phone.

Now after a few dates, you really know that you want to see her and really get to know her better. Keep up with the phone calls and schedule more dates.

On your dates have little surprises for her; such as flowers, candy, or something she mentioned that she liked, something as little as 'beach glass', candy bar, etc...

Then its game on!

If you don't like her after a few dates, don't court her, don't buy her little things and by all means don't call her to lead her on.... Tell her the truth, if she starts texting you to get you to talk to her, be honest about everything.

Women appreicate honest men. At least I do...

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
she pretty much ruined it
Posted: 6/20/2013 1:51:40 PM
Wow! Grandma always said, you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas....

There you go!

People don't change over night silly, and sometimes they only change for the moment.

You need to figure out if this is all wasting your time....

Good Luck,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Women who are addicts/traumatic pasts are attracted to me..
Posted: 6/20/2013 11:04:07 AM
There’s one thing I’ve notice with people like this is they are a lot of fun. Spontaneous, adventurous, and just the life of the party! They are very bad people, because that is what their life is…. Living for the moment, for the second, for whatever excitement the day will bring, so they put themselves into undesirable situations because of the adventure and the spontaneity.

But that’s an addict that is why most are thieves and liars, because for the next fix they will do or act any way to satisfy that next fix.

I used to tell my daughter “nobody ever said that sin wasn’t fun or beautiful, because it is”.

Are you sure that you are ready to settle down with just one person for the rest of your life? Why do I ask you this question, because you have rationalized to the extreme why you attract these types of people, but have you really deep down inside of your soul know that you really want a well rounded relationship? To desire and want a life time commitment with just one person for the rest of your life? Are you truly ready for this?

Attracting people like you mentioned are not the type of people that one wants to live with for the rest of their lives, so I’m wondering if this is really your issue? If you date or attact these types of people, deep down you know that you will not marry them, nor have children with any of them. You know that it will be a passing thing sub consciously.

Ask yourself, are you ready to get married, have children and live with one person until death do you part?

If you say no to any of the above, then that explains why you are attracting the types of women you are attracting.

Until you are ready for a real relationship, with the picket fence and the whole nine yards you will continued to attract the fly by night characters.

You self sabotage yourself subconsciously, and you date whatever comes along because you like women.

That’s my take on it, let it fall into place as it may, or may not?
Hope this helped.
Thanks for reading,
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
She works in my office & it's WAY uncomfortable
Posted: 6/19/2013 3:23:15 PM
I see how this would be nervey. So, what I would do is the next time she comes walking by my desk, say loud enough for others to hear "I knew I reconized you other than work, you're on POF!!! Isn't that funny? lol"

That will stop her baby games!

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
She works in my office & it's WAY uncomfortable
Posted: 6/19/2013 9:27:01 AM
This is why professional people don't put their picture on the internet.

Just saying...
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Advice about an ex
Posted: 6/18/2013 8:12:01 PM
There was I time when I reached out to an ex, and my reason for it was that I just wanted to hear his voice. I really needed someone to talk to that wasn't really a part of my life. Someone that was unbais. Someone I knew very well...

I think she reached out for that reason. I think she just needed a friend, someone who she had fond memories with and could talk to back then, so why not again?

Weird, I know, but you know us women are weird like that sometimes. Sometimes, there is no meaning at all for the things we do, sometimes, it's just for the moment in time. Just a single and simple that I'm missing you and want to hear your voice.

Hearing your voice calms her restless soul.

Jan
P.S. You should invite her for coffee or tea, or for a walk, and let her talk, she'll tell you... If she wants to talk, she won't tell you on the phone, if there is more. Women are like that. There has to be a perfect setting for the truth to come out. If that is what it is?
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Should I send her flowers?? Care about her a LOT!
Posted: 6/17/2013 2:53:13 PM
You are playing head games, and the sad part is you don't even realize it.

For some reason there is an intellectual part to your brain where you're not seeing the forest through the trees...

I'm beginning to think that you're a little mental.

Sorry, you might need to seek some professional help.

You like her more than a FRIEND.

Come on, you can say it..... Slowly..... come on.... Say it! Say that you want her as a girlfriend, come on you can say it, just say it! Say GIRLFRIEND, say it!

Geez!
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Can't figure her out
Posted: 6/17/2013 11:37:14 AM
"I don't want to be that guy that breaks them up"

Then what the hell are you doing making plans with a woman who has a boyfriend, hello?

You are the guy who will cause friction.

Dumb, dumb, and dumb.

You're putting yourself into your own trap. Hell with the camping trip, you need a cage.

What are you thinking? Really?

Stop yourself right now... You're on a one way highway with no bridge coming up!

Back off from the camping plans and stay away from her until she is really single.

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 93 (view)
 
this ladies, is how good guys become jerks
Posted: 6/17/2013 10:08:18 AM
Being a good guy has nothing to do with this.

A good guy or a bad guy doesn't always get what they want.

She didn't like you more than a friend, period. She was never attracted to you, period.

She's a flirt, continue to hang out with her you will only get hurt, because you like her more than a friend.

Stay away from her until you can truly just be her friend.

Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is she playing games or am I overthinking it?
Posted: 6/17/2013 9:33:53 AM
pxs9355,

You have enough so far to go on by the replies, but I'll add mine too.

I think she is hanging on to her ex. Why she is meeting up with him again, is beyond me. I wouldn't like that at all if I was in your shoes....

You don't want to end up being the rebound, and you don't want to end up being a side dish.

Just stay away from her until she figures out what she really wants.

If she calls you one last time, tell her that. Tell her when she figures out her life and who she wants to be with give you a call and if you're still available at that time you would be more than happy to date her again. Until that time, I wouldn't look back...

Take care of you first!
Best of luck to you.
Jan
 
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