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 Author Thread: Getting The Ex out Of My Mind
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Getting The Ex out Of My Mind
Posted: 3/15/2010 8:30:44 AM
Internet porn... ok someone had to say it, I'm just glad it was me. Seriously though, at some point you have to work through it, ignoring it does no good.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please read, Sorry this is so long and should it be black and white?
Posted: 1/17/2010 8:04:25 AM
You weren't in a relationship, he was living off of you. No sex or kissing for 10 years, that's not a relationship. He's a scumbag, be glad you're free of him.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
If you could change one thing about the opposite sex...
Posted: 1/12/2010 2:16:51 PM

I'd do away with backhair.


Agreed women with backhair is not attractive.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
right or wrong involvin exes
Posted: 1/12/2010 1:34:37 PM
My ex and I are on good terms and friends still. I don't see why you can't be. In fact I'd consider my ex-wife and two of my ex-gf's to be my friends still. If she can't handle this, I'd say there is no reason to continue the relationship.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
If you could change one thing about the opposite sex...
Posted: 1/12/2010 1:18:57 PM
^^^agreed however, I tend to think war isn't always about aggression, it's sometimes about doing what's just and right.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How fast is too fast?
Posted: 1/12/2010 12:57:40 PM
Of course love can happen that fast, but to be sure you need to slow things down. Right now the excitement of the new relationship has blinded you to any possible faults. That's not to say you two aren't a perfect match, just that if there are any major issues you'll only find them as time goes on. Let things flow naturally though, it is what it is.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Any other women out there in love with a married man???
Posted: 1/12/2010 12:38:44 PM
Am I the only one that looks at the dates of when these were originally posted? And why oh why did Nahsun bring this up when the last post was 2 years ago to only say "Never say Never"?
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
If you could change one thing about the opposite sex...
Posted: 1/12/2010 10:00:42 AM
I'd stop them from reading my thoughts... Ok I mean that I'd hope they'd not think they know what I'm thinking and speak for me or be angry because of some perceived bad thought.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
New sex robot - Bye bye POF !!
Posted: 1/12/2010 9:37:27 AM
Lars and the Real Girl- Great movie with Ryan Gosling, about a man who falls in love with and has a very real relationship with his very not real girl.

I don't see this becoming a huge trend too many people look down on this type of thing. Although I do remember one guy I knew had a blowup sheep with access in the back. Oh wait that's right we bought that for him as a gift for being newly divorced. I don't think he actually used it except to show it off at parties.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Baby Mama/Daddy situations
Posted: 1/12/2010 9:16:45 AM
Having been a participant in a so called Baby Daddy situation, I think I can answer part of this. I was 18, I had never been with a woman before (I had slept with her only twice before I got her pregnant), she told me she was unable to get pregnant due to some medical problem, I was drinking and I had forgotten to bring the condoms. Now those are all the excuses for how the baby was conceived at least as far as I'm concerned. As to why we didn't stick together, I went off to boot-camp (planned before we even started dating) and she slept with another man while pregnant with my son. I received a very nice letter from a friend stating "I have something to tell you before you see Carrie when you get back, but I can't tell you in a letter", hmmm I wonder what that could be. So, I was an unforgiving **stard and she was a cheating tramp. I love my now 17 year old son, but I wouldn't stay with his Mom if it meant I'd win a million dollars.

Basically, bad situations come up in relationships and cause break-ups. People can be mislead, lied to, make a mistake, fall into the .02% condom failure department, or just not care about the consequences, it doesn't matter, it's tragic that it continues to occur in too many cases.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Can women smell another woman on you????
Posted: 1/9/2010 5:15:02 PM
Basically what women sense is the confidence that you're exuding. When you're not looking for a woman you become more interesting to them.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Child sleeping in the room
Posted: 1/8/2010 10:54:53 PM

IF someone was to find out for some strange reason....you might just lose that child....be real!


No they wouldn't lose the child. They are not forcing the child to watch or participate, they are not intentionally doing lewd acts in front of the child, it's perfectly normal. As many have stated including myself this is done in many households around the world, the key is discretion.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Something I just don't understand... Men and relationships
Posted: 1/7/2010 1:44:21 PM
bablynbrook why do you need validation? If you're in the relationship you know what feelings are going on. You feel cared for, you know the person is there for you, everyone else knows you are together, then you know that it's a loving relationship, you don't need my validation for it to be true.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Something I just don't understand... Men and relationships
Posted: 1/7/2010 1:25:13 PM
If she's my girlfriend does it matter that I refer to her as "friend" or would it be better if I said lover or how about the chick I'm banging? What you're looking for is for your boyfriend to let everyone else know he's off the market, so how about he wears a shirt that says I'm Taken? Forehead stamps that say Property Of, might work too. The point is that you are looking for validation where none need exist, if you are both comfortable, then why does anyone have to label it. If your concern is that he's cheating, then you aren't in the right relationship. As stated by the OP "everyone knew they were together".
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Child sleeping in the room
Posted: 1/7/2010 11:52:03 AM
ghostdog, I think my point in regards to the OP was more about the age of the child and using discretion. My kids are between 10 and 17 don't think I'll be having sex in the same room with them. While I get your point regarding changing times, I also see the OP's point.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Something I just don't understand... Men and relationships
Posted: 1/7/2010 11:16:44 AM
Men in general like to feel free, we like to think we have freedom. If a woman allows us the freedom to determine what our relationship will be, then we do so. I thought of an analogy that will probably irritate a few women, so I'll use it. If I'm in prison and I say daily "This is not a prison" it doesn't change my circumstances I'm still in a prison. If I choose to pretend that it's not a prison and stop following the rules of the prison then there will be consequences. Semantics is really all it is, until the rules are broken or I guess for that matter until they're enforced.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Child sleeping in the room
Posted: 1/7/2010 10:55:09 AM

I have a one bedroom apartment, so my 1 year old shares a room with me. My mother thinks it is completely inappropriate to have sex while she is sleeping in the same room.


It is completely inappropriate for you and your mother to have sex while your one year old child is in the room.


LOL excellent point
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Something I just don't understand... Men and relationships
Posted: 1/7/2010 10:44:10 AM
I think you're reading way too much into it tuffluv. Honestly she never said they cheated, they seemed to be in a monogamous caring relationship. If a man doesn't want to call a shackle a shackle what difference does it make, it's still a friggin shackle.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Child sleeping in the room
Posted: 1/7/2010 10:19:49 AM
What I found funny about this is I just watched a show on the History Channel about sex through the ages. In the show they discussed how the first pilgrims didn't have much room in their houses and often shared the same bed with their children and sometimes gentlemen callers would share the same bed as the whole family. They discussed this very issue. Sex with a child in the room is not disgusting. It's not as if the child is included in the sex and being open about it is just something our culture isn't used to. In Japan for example an entire family can share a very small apartment sometimes Mom & Dad share the bedroom with Grandma and 2 kids, they are still intimate, they just do it more quietly and nobody feels inappropriate about it. OP as long as the child is not involved in the act and you're not forcing them to watch, there is nothing wrong. I would add your child is only 1 years old so they won't be remembering this. If your Mom insists that this is a problem, you can always hang a sheet.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What do guys think about a girl who...
Posted: 1/6/2010 5:03:22 PM
Hmmm my grandfather was a successful garbage man (he owned his own company), he probably wouldn't mind you. I am a successful telecommunications technician that makes lower middle class wages, I don't mind a trailer park girl. I'm sure there are successful teachers who wouldn't look down on you. However if you mean a Doctor, Lawyer, Entrepreneur it depends what do you bring as far as education and finances to the relationship? Are you successful?
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
To the exhibitionists: How do you satisfy your need to exhibit?
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:43:37 PM
I've had sex in many a public park in the evening, I've also been caught masterbating in the woods. I've had sex at work, in public restrooms and in parking lots. However my most memorable and exciting moment was the break-up sex I had with a girlfriend. We pulled over on the side of the road and while she was in the car I stood outside and did the deed. The angles were a bit awkward, but it worked. The sun was rising and it was a cold snowy morning as cars passed by and people woke up in their little homes, I was having one of the best sexual encounters of my life. The best part was we already knew we were breaking up, but both of us wanted to have sex one more time. It was amazing.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
ex's wanting to come back into my life
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:22:16 PM
Tell him "Yes I have changed my ways, I don't want to be with a jerk who doesn't appreciate a good thing when he has it". Then ignore him for life as he's not worth the time and consideration. You however need to realize you are worthy of the respect and decency this jerk couldn't possibly provide.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
So he loves you but DOESN'T find you attractive! Cause for Concern?
Posted: 1/6/2010 1:11:16 PM
At one point in my marriage I also was not attracted to my now ex-wife. I loved her dearly, but I wasn't attracted to her. The problem was that I have a condition that lowers my sex drive. It wasn't that I wasn't attracted to her, it was that I wasn't really attracted to anyone. She however took my lack of sex drive, my lack of interest at all to mean I thought she was too fat. Sure she'd put on weight, but once I was diagnosed and started taking my testosterone, I was back in the saddle.

The truth is that I think even if a person isn't suffering from a medical condition they can indeed be in love and not be attracted. Love isn't all about physical attraction.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Was I Wrong Or Was It Him?
Posted: 1/6/2010 6:55:58 AM
Lives in the boonies has poor cell phone service and can only check email at work? Are you sure he's not married or living with another woman? Anyway, you probably over-reacted, but he should find a way to contact you. If I didn't have good cell coverage, I'd get myself a land line, but then I like to be able to reach people in an emergency.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Penis Enlargment
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:20:34 AM
My ex-wife had a wonderful story about a man she called Thumb-man. His penis was so small it looked like a thumb, she didn't embarrass him by saying he was too small, but she didn't continue the relationship after that encounter. I am not that small, but neither am I large, I'd say I'm on the low end of average, but due to my performance in bed I have always been able to get the repeat customers. That's all we as men should be concerned with, the repeat customers, if you don't get those then you're not doing it right.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Sexual Health STD what should I say
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:06:16 AM
It's none of your business and you need to leave it alone. When a person has unprotected sex with another person they've taken the responsibility for their actions and it has nothing to do with knowledgeable third parties. The man riding the motorcycle knows that accidents exist, he knows it can be dangerous to ride without a helmet, but he takes the risk, because the reward is feeling good. The punishment for stupidity should be death, but if that were true the world would be much less populated.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Feelings for a guy friend who just moved for the army?
Posted: 1/4/2010 4:47:38 PM
One thing I enjoyed when I was in the USMC was letters, it was personal and felt like a piece of home. Worry about developing the relationship as you write him. If it feels like things keep going in the right direction, well then you'll have your answer.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Do abusers end up alone?
Posted: 1/4/2010 7:57:06 AM
I think a more appropriate question is can abuser change his/her proverbial stripes. As a victim of abuse as a child and as a perpetrator of abuse in a relationship, I know that it's possible to change, but only if you're willing. You have to be open to the fact that you are an abuser and that you need to change. Abusers also need to get out of toxic relationships, by this I mean a relationship which feeds off or breeds hostility. In my case, my ex-wife cheated on me and I continued to stay with her for years always feeding off that anger that her indiscretion left behind.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Virginity
Posted: 12/31/2009 3:01:16 PM
Virginity is one thing you can only give away once. If I had to do it over again, I'd have waited until I was married. Then again I did have a lot of fun along the way, my first was really my worst experience. Not saying I didn't enjoy the sex that first time, but the woman was really the wrong person to lose my virginity to.

I respect a woman who is holding out, but like others have said, I'd be the type to try to break your resolve. I'm in the hunt for the kill.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Is sex overrated ?
Posted: 12/31/2009 2:56:09 PM
I have a diminished libido due a medical condition and I'd still prefer to get laid versus masterbating all alone.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Ladies, help me out here.
Posted: 12/31/2009 2:51:11 PM
Ok I read that multiple times after I kept seeing people post that he killed someone. He never said he killed someone. While I don't know if I should believe this rather odd story, I'll give advice.

First you made a poor decision that nearly got you killed, nobody wants to date someone with a death wish.

Second you could have caused your girl to be hurt too by your reaction.

Everyone knows if the decision is money or my life, always give up the money. I have been robbed before, it is very frightening, but at the same time if you keep your wits about you, you'll do as they say and survive.

You were not heroic, you were indeed stupid.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Is This Too Kinky For You?
Posted: 12/30/2009 2:56:55 PM
Every person has their limit on what they are willing to do sexually. Personally I won't have sex with another man in the room, I won't do anything with urine or feces and I won't do anything with an animal. I'm sure there are other things I won't do, but the point is I know my limitations and if someone were to cross those I wouldn't continue to play along. If I was the person crossing someone else's limits I think I'd have the decency to let it be and move on to other scenarios.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
does he not like me anymore or is he jerking my chain?
Posted: 12/30/2009 2:02:25 PM
Overthinking it, you even admitted that much. He's sick, it's the holidays, he's going to see his mother, he told you he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. What more can you ask of the man? Let him breathe.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 41 (view)
 
what is he thinking?
Posted: 12/30/2009 1:24:50 PM
Well then you can't be blamed for it. The point is that too often in relationships people project what they believe the other person is feeling or thinking. Unless you're a mind reader you are just sabotaging yourself.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Are we wasting our time??
Posted: 12/30/2009 1:19:14 PM
Thank you for making me feel that maybe I did the right thing. I'm always nervous about discussing this with anyone, because it was such a low point in my life.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
what is he thinking?
Posted: 12/30/2009 1:04:27 PM
Unless someone tells you *something* is a fact, the thought of it is only in your MIND, so contain it there.


Wise advice

That is the number one thing that all women should remember, too many of you think you can read minds. Men do it too I suppose, but not in the same ways. Either way if you let your anxiety over a thought that you created eat you alive, you won't make it far in a relationship.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
does he not like me anymore or is he jerking my chain?
Posted: 12/30/2009 12:56:10 PM
Women shouldn't listen to another woman about what men are thinking it always seems to be confirmation of your worst fears. He told you to relax, do that. He's been ill and there might be other things distracting him right now. Let him breathe, let him get his mind around whatever is causing him problems. If he's not into you, he'll tell you, the relationship is new but it's not that new.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Are we wasting our time??
Posted: 12/30/2009 12:45:50 PM
I'm about to admit something that will haunt me on this website forever, but I'm doing it because I think I see something that needs to be corrected. I was once arrested on domestic violence charges. I will not diminish what I did, I picked my ex-wife up and tossed her aside because she wouldn't let me leave to get away from an argument. I was convicted of disabling a phone in an emergency (I hung up on her 911 call, I thought it was her Mom). My sentence was a fine, 30 days public works and 12 months of Domestic Violence courses.

Those courses were a Godsend. I was in denial of what I had done, saying I wasn't controlling, I wasn't abusive. Then I watched other men in that group talking about what they had done, at first I said "well I wasn't as bad as him". Slowly I realized that by threatening to leave, threatening to keep the kids, yelling and even when I picked her up, I was abusive and controlling. Every problem can be resolved reasonably. Controlling your partners actions, the friends and family they're allowed to speak to and holding on to money are ways of keeping your partner beneath your thumb. Yelling, physical fighting, restraining, insulting are all verbal and physical abuse that also is intended to keep you in your place.

The controlling behaviors you described in your SO are the warning signs of abuse. Women forgive these warning signs usually by saying he's just stressed out or he's not acting himself.

Do not continue this relationship without counseling of some sort. I don't care if you can't afford it, or the church wants you to be a member first. The well being of your children and yourself depends on you being a grown up and not allowing this type of behavior to continue.

The turning point for me was when I had to listen to the voice-recording of a 911 call from a 10 year old girl as she watched her father shoot her mother and kill her. I remember as the tears rolled down my face, I knew at that moment I'd never be that man again. My ex-wife and I divorced because she and I had done too many things to each other that could not be forgiven, we are still friends though.

God bless you, I hope things work out for you. I could be completely wrong but what if I'm not.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
what if you caught a friend?
Posted: 12/30/2009 12:19:34 PM
It occurred to me after my first post that there was an instance in which I was completely embarrassed. I walked in on my then 13 year old son wearing no clothes with lotion sitting next to him on the bed. I was completely flustered and walked out immediately. I later discussed with him proper timing and how to ensure his door was closed fully. Oh and I made sure he knew it was perfectly normal. I always knock before entering now, even if the door is partially open.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How can you tell your best friend that you love them
Posted: 12/29/2009 2:56:53 PM
Man up and tell her how you feel. You've kissed, you've flirted she has to know there might be something more there. Trust me you don't want to regret the question you never asked.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What do guys really think of chicks with kids??
Posted: 12/29/2009 2:10:21 PM
I have kids and when I do start dating again I am looking for a woman who doesn't want any more children, so a woman with kids is my best bet.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
what if you caught a friend?
Posted: 12/29/2009 1:31:13 PM
I was caught by my ex-wife a few times and she made it uncomfortable for me, claiming if I had porn on or was looking at a picture that I was being unfaithful to her.

While in the USMC I was installing phones in barracks with my Sergeant, a guy answered the door in his drawers then hopped back in bed pulled the covers up and turned on the porn. I sent my Sergeant out of the room because I didn't think she could handle it. The sad part was that there were 4 beds, each with a Marine under the covers watching the porn. I just finished my job and got out of there as fast as possible.

I also had a buddy in the USMC who answered the door masterbating, I told him I'd just come back later.

If I caught my gf pleasuring herself I might ask if I could lend a hand.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why Are So Many Young Pple Gettin Hitched & Then Divorced?
Posted: 12/28/2009 9:43:19 AM
packagedeal nailed this one.

Pre-marital counseling with a counseling service or with a pastor/priest is key. So many people look past this because they think you need to have trouble in your relationship to need counseling.

Another great idea is for the couple to attend a financial planning seminar or something similar, personally I recommend Dave Ramsey. His plans for getting and staying out of debt make sense and are simple, they are Christian based, but you can look past that if you are not Christian.

Talking to your parents about marriage is a problem because so many marriages fail it's not likely you'll get the right information. We need good role models to show us what makes a marriage work, it wasn't until after I was married that I saw my Grandparents for the first time and really got what made it work for them, they were committed to the relationship and one another. Too many of us are looking for the woman/man of our dreams and forgetting to look for the man/woman that will make a great parent. If they'll be a great parent they'll most likly be a good spouse.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
what do you think to this?
Posted: 12/28/2009 9:12:46 AM
yankeegirl10, considering that the OP never mentioned having ever initiating contact, I assume that she won't be seen as a stalker if she gives him a nice "hey how was your holiday" call. It's never bad form to show interest until the person you're interested in explicitly states they are not interested in you.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
A balancing act -- I'm interested but afraid he might be way ahead of me
Posted: 12/28/2009 8:18:43 AM
Sleep with Fred, Barney and Barney's wife Betty, then quickly get out of Bedrock.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
what do you think to this?
Posted: 12/28/2009 8:11:20 AM
Trust me this guy is into you, he introduced you to his friends, he stayed in touch, he didn't run the morning after. He's either busy or waiting for you to make the next move, maybe he's worried that you weren't that into him.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How do you end a friendship?
Posted: 12/28/2009 7:53:26 AM
I've essentially ended all of my friendships by moving out of town.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why Are So Many Young Pple Gettin Hitched & Then Divorced?
Posted: 12/28/2009 7:50:23 AM
It's not like it was the plan, but I married my ex after 3 months of knowing her when she was just 19 and I was 25. I was ready for a commitment she was not. It's easy to mistake the feelings we have in the beginning of a relationship for love, especially when we're young. This being said we were married for 10 years and I was happy most of that time, but when things were bad they were really bad. She was never really committed to the relationship, she cheated in our first year of marriage and I should have left then, but I wanted to make the marriage work. I've grown a lot in those 10 years, she has too, but as we did we also grew apart. Basically sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but if I had to do it all over again, I'd take time to get to know my potential spouse, I'd go to a relationship counselor, I'd meet with my pastor and I'd definitely be better acquainted with her crazy relatives.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Christmas and the exsiting spouse
Posted: 12/23/2009 9:33:10 AM
This is my first Christmas without the ex and the kids. I honestly thought of doing something similar, but I realized her bf might have a problem with this. Instead, I'll have the kids on Christmas Eve day and then again Christmas night. I am invited over to watch them open presents and she is invited to watch them open presents at my place, but I don't want her bf in my place any more than her bf wants me sleeping in hers.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How do I tell my friend that I'm just not ready?
Posted: 12/23/2009 9:23:13 AM
OP here, Wow, I had no idea that people could jump to so many conclusions on their own. Trust me the flirting was just that, there was no phone sex or cyber-sex or sexting. We discussed the missed opportunities of our past and decided to give it a go, we were very open with the fact that we would have sex when we met again. I am in no way ready for any type of relationship, admittedly I was lonely when we first started talking and I hoped that it might to an LTR, but not so quickly. I am probably being childish because I am actually afraid of having her come here for a long weekend/week and then things not working out. I want to keep my friend with the hope that some day she and I might be able to have a more serious relationship. That was all I was trying to convey.

One more tidbit, because she has also been through a divorce I'm pretty sure she'll understand where I was mentally and emotionally and where I am now. I am not saying that I will never be ready, just not now.

Oh and I've made a decision to have her put off the trip and then I'll head back to Michigan this summer to visit my sisters and see my son graduate. During that time we'll see where the relationship goes, I'm just slowing things down.
 
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