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 Author Thread: Message Restrictions
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 545 (view)
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 2:17:49 PM

Men have ruined online dating for other men. Guys who know how to create a good profile, photos, and messages, those are the men hurt by the creeps, losers, and thugs on here.

That assumes online dating worked for such men in the first place. As far I can tell it never did. If you think there aren't enough 'creeps' in 28 year age span around a woman's age to flood her inbox, think again. If what these 'creeps' do didn't work they wouldn't do it. Thus it must work. It's low effort and they can send out hundreds and thousands of messages. Even less than 1% success rate is good payback for nearly zero effort. The 'creeps' have hit upon a sweet spot for online dating and age limits aren't going to fix it.

This is something those of us like you and I have to recognize as a given. It exists because it works for them and it's not going away. Not with some mere age limit anyway.

Oh and to your earlier post, yes, some real women in the online dating world are looking for / considering men > 14 years older than they are. Some even send the initial message believe it or not. I've experienced that first hand so I know it happens.
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 518 (view)
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/29/2013 8:54:33 PM
I am going to come at this from a different perspective, that of an admin. I've had the experience and dealt with people harassing others and so forth and so on. One thing I find that doesn't work well is imposing one's own idea of what is socially right and wrong. Yes, it's your property. You may do as you wish. I often used the same line when I had to make changes, but one thing I did not do was impose my ideas of what was right and wrong.

What I ran had nothing to do with dating or sex, but there were people involved so guess what happened anyway? Dating and sex. Part of running something where people interact socially is being clever to sort out problems without imposing on the people who aren't a problem. The previous solution of people being able to block out ages on their own was perfect. The imposition of it is simply boneheaded IMO. This isn't just my personal opinion, it's my experience. 22 years of it. Yes, it predates the world wide web*. If there was still a big problem a simple solution would be to automatically set the age boundaries in the code such that a user had to choose to remove them. Or force users to set or not set them. It's about being creative but not restrictive or imposing. There's my free advice.

As far as the restrictions go on my use of POF, This change doesn't really have any meaningful effect on me. I don't like it, but at the same time it is not going to make POF any more useless to me than it has been ;).

*part of the old internet where we didn't get rich or even minimum wage :)
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 499 (view)
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Viewed Me Now a Paid Feature: Please post comments here
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:29:13 PM
This site hasn't been a productive use of time for me. I could list a number of reasons but that's mostly due to how online dating works for me in general. But it is or maybe was free* so no big deal.

As more and more of POF becomes pay-for the more pointless it becomes. Eventually it will be like the pay-for sites out there where you have to pay to read a message from a spammer or a bot. ** POF, like ok-cupid is remarkably free of bots and such which seem to abound on pay-for sites and even semi-free sites like POF's twin, Evow. As POF becomes semi-free to even pay-for I expect the bot/spam/fake density to increase.

Why? Because it is in a pay for site's best interest to create bots and not delete the bots/spam/whatever accounts of others when it's pay for. Too many people will pay to see what that beautiful looking person wrote them or will pay to read the email only to find out its spam. But hey they've paid and the money is in and the credit card rebilling that is unstoppable.

A free site has the motivation to kill the spammers and bots because they drive people away and without people visiting the site doesn't make money.

Or be like some sites that demand a credit card number for a 'free trial' and then are impossible to cancel. Of course well timed after a notification that so-and-so is interested in you because of the free weekend profile you neglected to delete ;)

I won't miss POF if it becomes pay for, like I said, it hasn't been particularly useful for me. Perhaps they'll get someone to pay for subscription and make up for the lost view count money.

*I'll find out next time (if there is one) I try to write someone or reply
**There aren't too many features left that aren't behind the pay wall now.
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
Who viewed me...
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:09:00 PM
I've learned that writing someone who viewed your profile but did not write is creepy except when it isn't.

Some of those who viewed your profile would like it if you wrote them. Some will think it very creepy. Others won't care either way.

I make it rule not to write those who viewed and didn't write. Perhaps I don't want to be thought of as creepy or find out I was only viewed because I was funny looking or it was just a mis-click :) More seriously those who don't write more than likely aren't interested.
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