Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

          

Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Friend withholds affection
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Friend withholds affection
Posted: 8/26/2016 8:38:57 PM

I did not know that some people base their decision on whether or not to marry someone on their sexual experience with that person. I would not marry a man for that reason.


I know the "no sex before marriage" idea must seem foreign to much of this country and Canada. But I live in what's known as "the Bible Belt" and it's not uncommon for both women and men around here to adhere to it. Or at least claim they do. So stick to your guns and you may get lucky.... well, not in the usual meaning of the phrase... but you know what I mean.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 146 (view)
 
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 8/23/2016 8:03:47 AM

When you folks start this I always start hearing the Numa Numa song

This I gotta hear. Where is it available for download?
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I really messed up.
Posted: 8/21/2016 3:47:38 PM

the text app was still up with a pic of my boobs in a message to someone else.
He just left...left me there to get a cab ride home.

Did he at least give your phone back??
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Lawyers
Posted: 8/21/2016 3:37:07 PM

not sure how to break it to her. Do I have to end this?

I wouldn't think so. At least not because of the lawyers. But everyone's experiences in life is different and yours isn't the same as anyone here in this forum.
For example, my lawyer and my ex wife's lawyer were one in the same lawyer. A long time mutual friend. He just told us to go sort it out and let him know what we decided. Then he'd take care of the technical end.
Come to think of it, that's almost exactly what the minister that married us said.
Anyhow, I don't think it's something you need to hide from your girlfriend. Just tell her about it. I'm like some others upthread. I don't see a problem with it.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 44 (view)
 
RV Singles - new to RVing
Posted: 8/21/2016 2:43:10 PM

What is with the WalMart parking lots?

I think you've got it figured out. Walmart isn't trying to compete with the campgrounds and RV parks. They just recognize the $$ they can make from RV people who take up a little otherwise unused space in the far outside part of their parking lot for a few hours. And RV peeps appreciate a place to rest/snooze for a few hours. It's a win/win kind of thing unless the local authorities get involved and screw things up.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/21/2016 10:48:27 AM

You got my point

Oh good. We're on the same page then.... sort of.... I think. Although I didn't realize the ads targeted men for women's toys. I mean, some of the toys I bought were things I'd never even seen or heard of at the time. And all I did was pay for them. Same as I would for a pair of shoes or dress or whatever. That's what I meant by the product itself being aimed at women.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Views on sex toys and place that sell them as a mature (experienced!?) person
Posted: 8/21/2016 9:52:36 AM

I don't think it's actually quite common, people might experiment a few times then lose interest in toys, only maybe 10-20% at a guess use them

My experience has been a lot different. In the last +/- 20 years, I've been in 3 LTR's and 2 STR's with women who all (100%) had toys and enjoyed using them. Some more than others. I like keeping my partner happy and the toys made it pretty easy for me. Fun too :-)



reason some people don't post in the sex forum is because not everyone even knows it exists. Not everyone has the sex forum as an option at the main menu.

Most people don't even know any of the Forums exist. At least not the ones who have joined since the Forum button was removed from the dating side.
I read the forums most often without signing in, so I knew, that way, the sex forum doesn't show up on the list. But once I'm signed in, it always shows up near the top of the list. Soooo... it doesn't work that way for everybody?


sex toys are 'by and large' aimed at men. It's not even close. Men buy the most 'toys' and use the most toys. The only category where women and men may have relative even purchase or use rate is in dildo.

You've completely lost me here with the "dildo" thing unless you're talking about gay guys. And I have no interest in how that works so my comments are only about hetero couples. But every sex store I've seen has been aimed at women with maybe a gay guy section. And granted, guys may buy most of the toys but the hetero guys are buying toys aimed at women for their girlfriends. She picks it out, and I buy it. At least that's the way it's always worked in my experience.


One sex toy, that can and does pleasure both is the vibrating****ring

Here's an example of what I'm saying. A vibrating ****ring alone doesn't do a thing for me. But it would drive my girlfriend absolutely wild. And it was the wild girlfriend part that would do it for me :-)
... not necessarily the ****ring.


We do have a forum for sex and sexuality, it's probably better there.

I absolutely agree. This whole thread belongs behind closed doors.
I can't believe I just blabbed all this right out here in the wide open.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Writing messages to men
Posted: 8/20/2016 8:37:39 AM

Since you found the forums, spend your time reading here and you'll find out more about how guys think.

I couldn't disagree more. I just wanted to go on record with that.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Pics gone?!
Posted: 8/17/2016 12:02:10 PM
She probably just switched her photos from public to private. But I'm not sure what you mean by a gender neutral avatar. Are you saying it's gender neutral on her profile?
I've been messaging a female lately too, that has made her photos private. The avatar on her profile is the standard female (hair flipped up) avatar but her avatars on our conversation list is male, just like mine. I don't know why and she doesn't know either. We're guessing it's just another POF glitch.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
WTF my updated profile didn't save
Posted: 8/14/2016 2:58:52 PM
Nice tip gcdeb. Thanks.
I'm the world's worst at saying what I want to say before the clock runs out.
...............-twiddlin' thumbs- ................. I'm waitin' for the clock to run out so to try out your system lol!
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Does a woman usually spend time doing activities with a bff that she'd rather not do in order to maintain the friendship?
Posted: 8/14/2016 11:03:18 AM

Guys tell their friends to GFY.

If that means what I think it means, then yeah, I think aintnodeal pretty much nailed it.
But it really doesn't happen all that often because BFFs usually know each other well enough to not even bother to ask the question.

So, for example, if my BFF wanted to go sailing, he'd already know he'd get a hell yeah outta me.
And if he wanted to go fishing, he'd know I would go if I could but if not, he'd go by himself or find someone else.
And if he wanted to go deer hunting or play golf, he might mention it to me when he got back, but he wouldn't bother asking me to go because he'd know he'd get a GFY outta me lol!

Women, on the other hand, don't seem to even want to go to the powder room without taking an entourage with them. I've never understood what that's about but.... it is what it is.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 45 (view)
 
How Does This Site Work?
Posted: 8/14/2016 9:08:05 AM

To retrieve messages, should the "message" button be clicked at the top

That's one of several ways to get there. "Inbox" in a sure bet too.


a list of members appear on the left hand side, then a click on the photo should show the message received?

No, a click of the photo will take you to their profile. Just click somewhere to the right of the photo, even in the blank space over there, and the whole "Conversation" (like a thread in the forums) will come up.


Do I need to upgrade my membership to read the messages from members with photos?

No, you're just clicking in the wrong spot.

One other piece of information. The photo you see on the left is their public photo. Same one you would see in the forums next to a message if they posted one. Other than that, guys are not allowed to attach a photo to their message to a female. So if you ask for a photo, they're not lying if they tell you they can't send you one.
You and other females, on the other hand, are allowed to attach photos to your messages to guys. Isn't that a great system? :-)

Sorry, can't help with the Meet Me feature. I've never bothered with being on either side of that one.

As far as hurrying up to do anything around here.... I don't get it. In fact, I've taken so long writing this post, somebody has probably already posted ahead of me. But that's okay. They probably had a better post than me anyway lol!
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Divorced vs. Never Married
Posted: 8/12/2016 2:44:24 PM

I took what she said at face value.

You WHAT?!?!? LOLOLOL!!!
Yeah, I did the same thing :-(
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Divorced vs. Never Married
Posted: 8/12/2016 11:52:52 AM

Not exactly.

Fair 'nuff.
So we might conclude that there should be only two choices for POF's little check box thingy. Married or Single. If there's more to explain than that, it can go in the About Me section.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How Does This Site Work?
Posted: 8/12/2016 8:48:39 AM
I didn't even know anyone checked to see who Fav'd them. Then I got a message from a gal on the other side of the planet asking me why I Fav'd her. She had no photo (I fav a lot of those) and nothing much remarkable in her profile so I wrote back and told her sorry, but I couldn't remember. Then later, I ran across one of her posts in the Forums and it came back to me. So I wrote back again to rehash her post/thread and we ended up as email buddies. I mean, I'm an old long distance date guy from way back. But a 12 hour flight each way? Nope. Email and Skype had to do.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 7 (view)
 
WTF my updated profile didn't save
Posted: 8/12/2016 8:18:21 AM
All good advice up there ^^^
It also applies to forum posts. By the time I finish typing this, I'll probably be auto signed out. So before I hit the "Post" button, I'll select the whole thing and copy it (-Cntrl- "C"). If I find I've been signed out, I sign back in, go back to where I left off, and just paste (-Cntrl-"V") it back in to the blank text box.

One other thing. If a thread won't accept your post, check to make sure you aren't the 22nd post in a thread with a 21 post max.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How Does This Site Work?
Posted: 8/12/2016 7:43:49 AM

What is the "favorites" for? I don't understand that feature. What purpose does that serve... except another way for more potential compatible meetings? I've had just as many "favorites" as I have "wants to meet". Is that another press of the button without regard as to if we would be a good match?

In fact, I just recently ran across a thread asking the same question. And I had no idea there was such a variety of opinions on it. I've always thought it was just a bookmark kind of thing. I've used it on any profile I found of interest for any reason. Maybe it was a long one and I was short on time. Maybe it mentioned a subject I wanted to research and then get back to it and read it again. Also friends that I've met online as well as known before. All sorts of reasons. It never occurred to me that anyone would expect a message from me just because I bookmarked their profile. But after seeing that thread, I realize that view isn't all that uncommon lol! In fact, one of my Fav disappeared the other day. I thought it was just another POF glitch so I put it back. But now, I guess I'd better run take her off again. Either that or.... maybe send her a message.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Divorced vs. Never Married
Posted: 8/11/2016 8:44:46 PM

Single, Married, Separated, Divorced, & Widowed are all Legal Statuses...
Unless by Annulment, if you have ever Married, you can not be Single again...
Unmarried, yes, but not Single....


That may depend on which legal system you're subject to. But if you're a U.S. taxpayer, the choices for marital status are Single, Married, or Widowed. There is no choice for unmarried. And if you've been married and divorced, your status is Single.
I'm not makin' this stuff up.
Granted, there's a filing jointly or separately and head of household status thrown in there. But they fall under either a married, single, or widowed status.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Divorced vs. Never Married
Posted: 8/11/2016 4:08:30 PM

I've been saying single & doing the explanation,

Say "single" and dispense with the explanation.

"Divorce" is a legal action. "Divorced" is a legal action that happened in the past. After you have been "divorced", you are no longer "married". If you are not "married", then you are *single*. Own it! Be glad of it! Be proud of it! You don't owe anyone an explanation for it!

Otherwise.... I vote you go with Msg #3.

OR... if you absolutely positively feel you MUST be "divorced", then find someone else who feels the same way. Marry them one day and divorce them the next. THERE now... problem solved for you both.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Rio Olympics - 2016
Posted: 8/11/2016 2:14:56 PM
I thought this thread would have at least a page or two full of messages by now. But seems it's reflecting the half empty stands at some of the events I've watched on TV. I'm not a marathon watcher though. And I don't even keep track of who's winning what. Although the women's beach volleyball matches seem to hold my attention. Speaking of which, the U.S No. 2 team was eliminated this afternoon by Russia.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 71 (view)
 
what not to talk about with girls?
Posted: 8/11/2016 8:26:20 AM

Doh. When do YOU ask a woman about her age?

I can think of only one scenario. If there's a snowball's chance in hell that she may be under 21. But the last time I was in that scenario was too long ago to remember.

On the other hand, if I were a criminal, I could see me asking for birth date, mother's maiden name, and SS number.

Beyond those two, I've found age to be an unreliable indicator of compatibility when not used in conjunction with other factors. There are just too many outliers in the dating pool to ignore.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How Does This Site Work?
Posted: 8/11/2016 7:18:23 AM
I've been on/off here since 2008 and I still haven't figured out answers to some of your questions. But somebody will be along shortly to correct my screw ups.

The people that show up in your matches are chosen by POF and when you look at their profiles, you may wonder how on earth anyone would think you two would be a match. They should call that feature "Possibilities" or "Long Shots" or "Something to start with".

I have no clue what the "Top Ten" is all about.

There's a feature here called "Meet Me" by which other members flip through photos and pick Yes, No, or Maybe, based solely on your photo. In no way do they need to have something in common with you to choose your photo. IMHO, it's a complete waste of your time. But I think the people on the other end of the feature are drawn to it because it's a bit like a video game. Like pulling a trigger and blowing people up randomly.

As far as a POF help section, there's a Forum down towards the bottom of the Forum list. Nobody from POF mans it though. It's just another member Forum like this one. Sometimes you get good help there and sometimes you don't.

Good luck!
And welcome to the fray!
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 18 (view)
 
I need help. not attracting what I'm looking for.
Posted: 8/10/2016 7:55:45 AM

(go to Edit Profile, then the Update Photos tab)

I meant to say the "Upload Images" tab. -duh-
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I need help. not attracting what I'm looking for.
Posted: 8/10/2016 5:40:22 AM
At this point, I feel like I'm just piling on. Everybody is seeing and saying basically the same thing.

I am specific in what I am attracted to but I am getting a ton of messages from everything but.

Basically, here's what's happening. The guys you specifically want to attract, but are not, are seeing the photos before they see the text. So when they read your About Me section, they're just not buying it. It doesn't make sense to them.

And the guys that are cluttering up your Inbox are also seeing the photos first. But they can't read!

Try this:

1. Make the photo in the yellow dress your main photo, and make your other photos "Private". (go to Edit Profile, then the Update Photos tab) That way, you can attach them to a message once you've struck up a conversation with someone that suits you. (Note: don't expect a photo in return. When a guy here tells you that he can't send you a photo, he's not lying)

2. Change Profession from "Stripper" to Entertainer or Dancer. You can be more specific about that during the "getting to know you" stage.

There's a lot more you can do to attract who you want to attract. But those two are what you need to do first.
Just my 2 cents
Good luck.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why pof if someone clicks yes on meet me...
Posted: 8/8/2016 3:25:54 PM
What ^BBE^ says.
Look all the way down at the bottom of her profile.
If there's no mention of age in that section, and there's less than a 14 year difference between your age and hers, then age won't prevent you from contacting her. But you might as well look at her other mail settings while you're there. You may very well be blocked by one of numerous other settings.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why would you delete your pictures?
Posted: 8/8/2016 3:07:21 PM

just didnt know if it was appropriate for me to ask

Then ask her if it's appropriate to ask. And if she says "Nope", then don't.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Deleted message/user
Posted: 8/8/2016 8:52:19 AM
What ^she^ said.
I've found you've gotta be quick around here. Some of these peeps don't last very long.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Make profile hidden
Posted: 8/7/2016 11:08:05 AM

That appears to be incorrect, as my profile is now visible.

That depends on your definition of "hidden".
According to the POF definition, hidden just means you don't show up in "Searches". Otherwise, hidden profiles remain visible to anyone with a link to it. For example, the "View Profile" link next to a forum post.
If all you want to do is not receive messages, then that's what mail filters are for. But there's no way to make your profile invisible other than cancel your account.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Make profile hidden
Posted: 8/7/2016 9:58:22 AM
My understanding is that the feature has been removed. However, profiles that are already hidden, will remain hidden. If they unhide themselves though, they can't hide again. At least that's what I was told by someone who is hidden.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Why do some exes reach out after some time has passed only to go cold again?
Posted: 8/6/2016 9:55:07 PM

what I don't understand is why is it always ex's who have dumped me.
Ex's I broke up with never come back,

Easy one. The women you dumped feel like they have no choice. You made the decision. So even if they want to come back, the ball is still in your court.
On the other hand, a woman who dumped you is simply exercising her woman's right to change her mind.


I'm hurt with this and I don't why he bothered to reach out only to hurt me.Was he just lonely?

He broke it off with you because he met someone closer? And now he's jerkin' you around again? Telly, this guy sounds like a jackass to me. And an unreliable one at that. He's not gonna change. You can do better. A LOT better. Just tell him to take a hike.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is it because I am middle eastern or ugly?
Posted: 8/6/2016 8:38:18 PM

First, excuse my English.

You're excused.
Actually, I've seen worse.

I once offered my opinion in the Profile Review forum and the other reviewers jumped all over my butt because it was apparently so flippin' wrong. So I can only just imagine what's about to happen to me here in the Ask a Girl forum lol!
However, I'm a tough guy and I can take it, so here goes.

If you don't want to correct the English text, then fine. But if that's the case, if I were you, then I would also say the same thing again, but say it in your first language below the English (or above it, doesn't matter). Who knows, there may be someone here that speaks your language who is looking for someone exactly like you. And I don't see how it could hurt to do that.

That's just my 2 cents.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Where did all my male friends go?
Posted: 8/6/2016 4:01:01 PM

makes me feel like women are still viewed by men as being inferior - of no value other for their appearance. Am I right?

You may be right about a few, but I wouldn't think you'd be right about men in general. I've always had both male and female friends. A few stay in touch but, like someone upthread mentioned, people's lives change and, over time, they tend to drift away whether they're male of female. Why not just pick one or two and track them down? Call 'em up. See how they're doing and what they've been up to. Just for the hell of it. I'll bet they'll be glad to hear from you.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Do you hide your political affiliation on dates?
Posted: 8/6/2016 8:01:17 AM
I'm just thankful that I have no political affiliation. If I did, I don't think I could keep up with the rules and what I'm expected to believe. I just try to stay out of the fray until it's time to vote. And then, I've found, it doesn't take long to find out enough about the candidates and the issues to realize I'll probably be writing in my choice again.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Wrong profile for username
Posted: 8/6/2016 6:43:53 AM

I'm still scratching my head over how his profile completely changed.

A friend of mine on FB had her profile here stolen recently. They kept her Username but changed her password. And they left her photos but added some of their own. Also left her description but changed parts of it and, again, added more of their own.
My friend had been trying to get in touch with POF to have the profile deleted but, as you know, she was talking to a brick wall. So she was on FB asking friends to help her nuke the profile via mass reporting efforts. I haven't checked to see if that worked, but it might have.
Anyhow, just wanted to share that to let you know that.... $#!t happens -shrug-
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 472 (view)
 
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/6/2016 5:49:30 AM

I'm f ucking sick of going to the beach alone watching all the happy people splashing around while feeling like the lonely, creepy , pathetic guy observing it all behind my sunglasses

Simple solution. Carry a fishing rod. You get to wander up and down the shoreline like you're there on a mission. Just wade out to your gonads now and then and cast a few times. Hell, you might even catch a fish! Fair warning though, that can be a slippery and addictive slope. Next thing you know, you've bought a beach cart with a dozen rod holders (one for a beach umbrella), a monster fishing tackle box and an ice chest. Then comes the fishing kayak, then a small fishing skiff with an outboard, then comes..... never mind, this was a bad idea. Just take a beach chair and six pack o' beer. You'll do fine.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 35 (view)
 
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/5/2016 8:07:46 AM

:- I hate feet. If I start seeing people's feet in profiles, I'm outta here! Run Forrest, run!

WTF?? Dude! You don't distinguish between cute feet vs guys' feet?? Wasa matta wichoo??
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Ugh a dunno! ..
Posted: 8/4/2016 2:56:57 PM

What's a " dunno " ?

Typo, I think.
It's supposed to be "I dunno".
As in: "I dunno where I'm a gonna go when the vol-o-can-o blow"
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why would you delete your pictures?
Posted: 8/4/2016 2:43:03 PM

She could have hidden her profile to accomplish that.

Hiding a profile doesn't actually hide it. All it does is insure that it doesn't turn up in searches. Anyone with a link to it can still see it. Which means anyone she's been messaging lately. As well as anyone that has bookmarked it or just stumbles across it. She can actually "hide" her photos by making them private or deleting them. But the rest of her profile.... not so much.


it may be she's a regular person who's getting weary of this crap.

That would be my guess. In fact, if she's a normal introvert, taking intermittent breaks from any crowd situation is an absolute requirement.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Are you more likely to skip profiles without images?
Posted: 8/4/2016 11:30:41 AM
I'm a guy that's more likely to skip a thread in the Ask a Girl forum than to skip a profile without a photo. But I see more guys replying in this thread than girls soooo... I'll go with the flow.

I'm a profile reader. And at that stage, the lack of a photo doesn't deter me in the least. I've run across some drop dead gorgeous women with no public photo. In fact the only POF member I've dated for any length of time, had no photo. Granted, at some point before a first meet up, I expect a photo exchange and they always have too. And most of the time it happens at first contact. But I'm convinced that skipping profiles simply because they display no photo is missing some of the best match ups on this site. Reading profiles definitely involves far more time and effort than just clicking through one image after another with Meet Me. But the results are more than worth it as far as I'm concerned.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Can't log into the actual site....
Posted: 8/4/2016 9:09:54 AM

Is there actually support I can contact and ask about this,

Not as far as I know. At least I've never seen anything about official support for the site. Maybe someone else here knows.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Can't log into the actual site....
Posted: 8/4/2016 6:07:18 AM
I just tried the Mail/Profile button above, and it worked for me as usual. I plugged in my Username and PW and went right in. Are you using a phone? I've seen some complaints and problems by phone users lately. I'm using a computer. Try that and see if that works.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Blocking someone?
Posted: 8/3/2016 3:50:59 PM

all your messages to them disappear, when you block them..

What happens if you UNblock them? Do the messages reappear?
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What is best approach asking a man to provide a hatless photo?
Posted: 8/3/2016 3:29:43 PM

What is the best approach in requesting a hatless photo?

Jeeze, that could be a tough one. Especially if it's a cowboy hat. Those guys are SERIOUS about keeping their hats on. So if that's what you're faced with, I think Halftime Dad has the only solution that might have a snowball's chance of working. Just go for it and see what happens.

If he's not a cowboy, is he wearing the same hat in all 6 photos? Same clothes too... like maybe they were all taken at the same time? If that's the case, he may not have thought to take it off. So that would make things easier on you. Just ask if he has any other photos, or ask him to exchange selfies with you while y'all are messaging back and forth. Something like that.

Or, at some point in the conversation, bring up the subject of photos and mention how sunglasses and hats and mardi gras costumes don't really help much when it comes to photos. Maybe he'll take the hint. If he doesn't, you may need to spell it out for him. Like "I want another photo and this time, lose the hat!". Some guys don't take hints or subtly very well.

Have you looked at his profile to see his hair color? Ok, never mind that. Just ask him what color his hair is. And no matter what his answer, just say "oh! I want to see!"

Ok, I'm running out of ideas. But it also depends on how important it is for you to see him without a hat. If the hat thing could be a deal killer but all else looks great, I dunno. You may have to just suck it up and go meet him. Hopefully, outdoors somewhere on a windy as hell day ;-)
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why pof if someone clicks yes on meet me...
Posted: 8/3/2016 8:22:04 AM

There's more than 1??

Was giving benefit of the doubt.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Tattoos or No Tattoos?
Posted: 8/3/2016 7:31:47 AM

apparently I cant figure out the quote thing either....

See the line that says "This allows you to quote a previous post."? Just copy/paste that whole line, including the symbols on each end, into the text box. Then replace the "This allows you to quote a previous post." with the part you want to quote (again with the copy/paste). Then make sure you type your own text outside the quote box, either above or below.

It's a bit primitive but it works.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Profile there but pictures now private
Posted: 8/2/2016 7:26:14 PM

Any volunteers?

Having no volunteer step forward, I chose a female profile that I know, and I feel pretty sure she would be glad to help with our experiment.

First, I made all 8 of my photos public. Then I pulled up the victim... uh ... I mean the volunteer's profile. She doesn't have a "Must have photo" filter, so I may need to do this again, but anyhoooo.... I clicked on her "Message So&So" button, and the text box came up. So I typed in some text. Then I clicked on the "Attach Images" button. And when I did, the "Upgrade" page popped up with the various plans and credit card form and all that. Looks to me like they're telling me I have to Upgrade to send these images.

Then I turned off all 8 of my photos (made them all private) and went through the same routine. Got the same "Upgrade" page. So it sure looks like to me that if I upgrade, I will be able to send photo attachments to the ladies.

Sooooooo.... I hope that answers our questions. But if not, let me know and I'll try some other way of doing it.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Profile there but pictures now private
Posted: 8/2/2016 6:44:31 PM
I'm in favor of an experiment. But I need to be sure what we're doing.

IIRC, if your email settings are, must have a pic, then POF will attach your Public Pictures, to the email

I've never tried to attach a *Public Photo* to a message. So I don't know if this will work or not. But I'm willing to try it to see what happens.


I haven't read, where POF has reversed their rule on Men sending Private Pictures

I've only read about it in the Forums. There was quite a lot of discussion in numerous threads when the new rule was implemented. And I've tried several times attaching *Private Photos* to a message and it hasn't worked since the rule was implemented. I've tried sending to profiles both with "Must have photos" as well as without that filter.


try & attach one, to an email & let us know.....

I'll be glad to. But if I understand you correctly, I first need a lady volunteer with her "Must have Photo" filter turned on. And I'll try attaching a public photo and, in a separate message, a private photo.

Any volunteers?
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Profile there but pictures now private
Posted: 8/2/2016 4:32:26 PM

Unless it has changed men cannot send pictures via POF

Are you sure? Granted, it's not listed as a feature on the Upgrade page. I just now looked. But I was once thinking about upgrading, and a lady friend of mine told me she receives attached photos from upgraded men. Maybe she was thinking of the distant past though, I dunno. Or maybe POF just didn't put it on the list.


.. so it becomes a way to score an email addy imo

I agree. So much for POF's explanation that their new rule is all about protecting women. Because I've found that, given the choice, about half the women who ask for my photo(s), want it/them attached to an outside email. Btw, they score my address too when they do that.


there was a glitch and for awhile you couldn't switch back and forth

I haven't run across that yet, but sooner or later I probably will.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Is there a way to know how long a person has been on this site?
Posted: 8/2/2016 12:40:03 AM

Looking for my join date

As you can see, your latest join date is 5/13/2015.
But what you can't see, is your post date/time, because you're the first post at the top of a page. So for posterity, I'll furnish that date and time for you, as well as for anyone else that want to know.
It was 8/1/2016 at 6:16pm
That info came from the latest post list. But it'll be lost forever as soon as I post this message.
Yes, I'm bored.
No, I can't get to sleep.
 stumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why pof if someone clicks yes on meet me...
Posted: 8/1/2016 11:46:17 AM

Are you still engaging the half plus 7 rule, and blocking the messages.

I think the rule is plus/minus 14, whether they click yes, no, or maybe.


Also if could you let people know they aren't allowed to message someone BEFORE they write the message and not a after?

Nope. That would mean the programmers would have to keep up with the rule makers. Ain't happenin'.


Better still why not only display people that you are allowed to message?

Again, too much trouble for the programmers. You'll need to check the age on each profile that wants to meet you. And don't forget to check their email settings as well. Lots of people that use Meet Me tend to set those settings too tight before their eyeballs have had their shot. In which case, they're wasting their own time as well as yours.

Your best bet is to just ignore/delete the Meet Me notices and start reading profiles to find people YOU want to meet. But that's just my 2 cents.
Good luck :-)
 
Show ALL Forums