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 Author Thread: has anyone actually participated in a threesome?
 bingbayneboom
Joined: 7/12/2004
Msg: 47 (view)
 
has anyone actually participated in a threesome?
Posted: 8/21/2011 4:36:19 AM
I have on numerous occasions and I have been in a couple group events. The woman I have recently been involved with throughout the last 3 years likes women and is very open sexually and has had group things as well. I am not the jealous type, well for the most part, we all get jealous, and it’s how you deal with it that matters.

For almost 15 years I've told the women I dated that if they want to have sex with someone else, go for it. The conditions/rules have changed over the years, but I've settled on just a couple of courtesies.

1. That they do not hangout with the person, that they are having the sexual relationship with. Basically, that if they met up, they have sex, if they hangout and don't have sex then it is over.

2. They can either tell me or not tell me. Though if a situation arises that we are at the same function/social event I MUST informed me of the relationship. I will not be made a fool of, plus it shows that we are in a committed emotional relationship and are open with each other.

Over the years I have decided that I wanted a relationship that had an emotional commitment, than a physical one and it's taking me awhile to realize what that means for me. Funny that 2 of the girls cheated on me and never told me...one even had permission to sleep with this guy and then changed her mind the next day, found out after the break-up that they were sleeping together. The last girl I am involved with is open like me. Though I think she is more of a hypocrite in that I can't get jealous, but she can (usually in the form of a comment)

Now when you are emotionally committed to someone, you know that they want to be with you / go home with you / think about you.

So really if they kiss/sleeps with someone else and you view that as cheating, then the relationship is over because in your mind she/he betrayed you. If the person I am with wants a physical monogamous relationship, I consider a kiss by a non-family member (family friend) as if they just slept with that person (on the cheek is fine, but a peck on the lips can be just as passionate as one that involves tongue (I can give a girl a peck on the lips and it will be passionate, trust me) Now if you take the view that it was just an act for pleasure or to fill some need and you don't see it as a betrayal, then the both of you go on as normal. Sometimes a person needs to be reassured that they are attractive and desirable from someone else, couples do have problems and affection is withheld or they may be other reason for low self-esteem that a physical encounter will give them that needed boost.

Now if they start developing feelings beyond what the average person would have for a friend, then that would be considered a betrayal (because they are giving intimate emotions to someone other than you).

Threesomes are fun...I mostly like the MFF and have only been involved with one MFM. It is enjoyable to see that others enjoy the woman I am involved with, because at the end of the fun, it will always be me and her.
 xavier1970
Joined: 7/12/2004
Msg: 315 (view)
 
Feel the same way here,but cannot give up either.
Posted: 6/29/2005 10:53:28 PM
dude I'm using your letter...I'll give you props if it works...(although it will have to wait)
 xavier1970
Joined: 7/12/2004
Msg: 314 (view)
 
I've finally decided to throw in the towel on finding a decent man for a relationship
Posted: 6/29/2005 10:32:16 PM
Know exactly...this is how my last 2 relationships ended...they chosed drug use over me, used me for financial support, and one cheated (tricked her into telling me), while the other was deceptive (having guys over (who were giving her drugs) and alot, alot more...did she cheat..don't know) (and each one was given the chance to sleep with other people as long as we talked about it before hand). The previous ex never told me that she loved me, so I was mostly just a fool. The last one I asked to marry, she said yes (never told her parents), asked why she said yes after one of many fights (she always started, like clockwork too, every 2 weeks and she would pick a new fight or create one), she told me she said yes to avoid an argument...WHAT?....Told her friends half truths of our relationship, so now I look like a psycho...(both did that). But, time will show peoples true colors. and Karma is a nasty mistress (I saw it happen to the previous one...ended up in jail)

So I know how you feel yeah, I've been an ***hole to the last one (when it all came down)...hey she deserved it....and on reflection, it always seemed I was fighting for her approval...I gave up everything, drop of a hat I'd be there. Her ? not a chance in hell...start fight time...which always escalated our fights...Now I've learned that if things begin to escalate, where you are just being mean, to "show them" (or their doing it to you)...walk away from the relationship...maybe give it one more chance...but if it becomes recurring get out fast and don't look back.
 xavier1970
Joined: 7/12/2004
Msg: 8 (view)
 
O town people step foward and be counted.
Posted: 2/24/2005 7:33:04 AM
stepping up to the plate and letting myself be counted.....recently dis "engaged" and looking forward to the single life again and meeting new and interesting people...living in downtown O town

Xavier1970
 
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