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 Author Thread: Lack of sexual knowledge
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Lack of sexual knowledge
Posted: 10/21/2012 1:07:35 PM

Maybe I am using my inexspiriance to cover for anxity about something else.


That's an interesting observation, because earlier you said:

"I seem to have such an irrational fear that when we get to the sex part and they realize I have no real experience they will run away like they are on fire so my emotional brain says its just easier to push them away before they run away. "

and that really makes no sense -- if a guy thinks he can have sex with you, his little head doesn't care whether you are experienced or not so he ain't gonna run. Like you said there you have "irrational fear", so your explanations for it aren't rational either.

I guess the worst part about it is even if you decide to have sex with a guy, your anxiety over it can make it lousy for both of you and then he may not come back for more. It's hard to get quality experience if the experiences ain't good.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 195 (view)
 
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 9/14/2012 2:03:32 PM
there's a flip side to this question too -- there are plenty of men who like dominant women, and that works just fine for them.

I also think every relationship has informal negotiations/battles for power -- for example, I watch some friends of mine argue about stupid stuff, and it only makes sense if you see them as two strong personalities trying to get the other to back down.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Nervous about sex after having a child
Posted: 9/12/2012 11:55:57 AM

since then the body I once had, has changed

most guys won't care unless the change was that you grew a dick
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 184 (view)
 
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 8/27/2012 4:53:02 PM
The submissive is the one in control.
The dominant delivers the pleasure. (or pain)

No. That's called topping from the bottom, and that's a bedroom kink orientation.

Think in terms of leaders and followers -- the dominant leads and submissive follows, and we see this all over in humans and animals. I think packs of hyenas are usually led by a dominant female, but elsewhere like with lions we'll see dominant males in the lead. That has nothing to do with pain or pleasure -- it's about who's the boss.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 218 (view)
 
50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 8/13/2012 7:19:16 PM

I just finished reading the third one.....all I can say is that this book makes a woman more willing to try "new things"

And that may be the best part about that book -- more awareness and even enthusiasm for activities which might have sounded strange before.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
guy has difficulty reaching orgasm
Posted: 5/22/2012 7:23:25 AM
Sometimes I have trouble reaching orgasm. I don't mind, though -- I'd rather that than being a "minute man", and it's fun to just relax a while and then try again . . . and again.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/16/2012 10:06:26 AM
That depends on the individual. In general there will be some loss of interest, with that affecting some guys more and others not at all. Although there are plenty of testimonials here of guys with plenty of interest, there could be a "truncation error" if guys who have lost interest aren't even reading this section of the forums.

At 57, I'm not sure I've lost any interest, though I guess there is some decrease in stamina, but that just means I'll sleep through the night with a girl instead of waking up at 3 AM wanting more. I suppose as long as we're both getting enough to put smiles on our faces, it's not a problem.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Is She Interested ? feet language and the office
Posted: 5/16/2012 8:40:02 AM
Maybe she is interested, but I wouldn't assume anything from the taking off her shoes part -- maybe the shoes were new and hurt her feet.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
the mind that turns you off
Posted: 5/5/2012 7:16:49 AM
I think it is a turn off for most people because the IQ bell curve suggests that "most" people aren't going to in the same ball park and they'll know it and feel out-classed. And though you say "I can hold a conversation and engage in banter just fine.", you may prefer banter about global economics or literature while most people may be interested in the latest reality shows or the wit and wisdom of Larry the Cable guy.

But then it's foolish to worry about what most people want because it's really a matter of finding those who are right for you -- the good news is that there are smart chicks out there who are in the same boat, so they'll appreciate the intellect. However, as others have noted, there could still be other issues if you're a jerk or dull, and you could possibly assume problems are caused by intelligence when they are actually caused by personality defects.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:56:49 AM
If a woman has so little interest in sex that she wants to wait two months, I figure we're a poor match and we're done.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Sub/Dom Relationships
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:35:26 PM

I don't believe "alpha" really exists to any great extent in human society - we're successful because we cooperate - and encouraging cooperation often requires behaviour that is the opposite of stereotypically "alpha" - alpha is the sad, mad loner that can't get along with anyone, or the boorish loud-mouth that doesn't get invited back.

Can't agree with this at all -- what you're calling "cooperation" is actually people in the group submitting to the alphas who emerge as leaders just like you'll see in a wolf pack.

And the notion of alphas all being unpopular is just flat wrong -- I consider Bill Clinton a prototype alpha male who is driven to win people over so he can get his way, and he isn't hurting for social invitations at all.

Often such confusion comes from people having a dim grasp on the characteristics that can make someone dominant --among them can be charm, charisma, or knowing how to persuade and manipulate, and in the animal world it can be sheer physical force and that probably works for people in street gangs as well. One can be dominant by simply pointing people in a direction they are inclined to go.

But the simple fact is that everyone falls on the spectrum somewhere on the spectrum from submissive to dominant, and the alphas will end up battling to be at the top of the heap.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How do you tell a guy....
Posted: 12/1/2011 2:44:38 PM
Some time when he goes to Home Depot, go along with him and as you walk by the rope and chains suggest you get some so he can tie you up, or make similar comments about other stuff that can be used for kinky playtime . . . even if it is a joke like putting a dildo on a drill

Or you could suggest games like naughty schoolgirl in the principal's office

if you make it sound like fun, you might have better luck
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
what song describes your mood for the day?
Posted: 5/7/2009 10:42:10 AM
Teenage Lobotomy by the Ramones
 
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