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 Author Thread: do men actually exist that date women with kids??
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 863 (view)
 
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 8/13/2006 8:29:08 AM
I never assume a lady is married unless I see rings on her hand. Children do not a wife make... she is a mother...

I happily would date a woman with children, I love kids and frankly, sometimes, it is easier to do so... I am not into the bar or night club scene, though I do enjoy an occasional drink or two and love to shoot pool... Children give you built in things to do for a fun date, parks, pools, cook outs, playgrounds, chucky cheese (gotta love skee ball) and a great deal of silliness, bike rides... lots of things...

Also, you can tell by the children what kind of person you are getting involved with... either way...

At the risk of getting flamed... Women with children too seem to have more depth on the average than others I meet...

My two cents worth...

~~DragonRider~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 26 (view)
 
12 year old babysitter
Posted: 8/13/2006 8:06:09 AM
Hmmm...

There are indeed children that are excellent and responsible at that age. I was babysitting much earlier than that, but I had a somewhat ..... odd ... childhood... or at least odd for my generation...

5 hours may be a little long, personally, I see nothing wrong with it, it would all depend on the kids, how they interact, how responsible the older one is, and it is good if there is a trusted neighbor available during those hours for emergencies...

I would take care though, I don't know what the laws are in your area, but I do know that in Illinois, the law forbids such due to age... 12 years old is not old enough for the responsibility and it could get you in trouble. Make sure you know what the local laws are before doing this...

To all those that find this abhorrent, I would remind you that ... at least in this country, such practice was the norm for far longer than it has been the exception... Siblings were always responsible and watched after and took care of their younger brothers and sisters while mom and dad were out working... more often than not, there was no adult supervision for much of the day.

I also saw some disparaging comments regarding giving young adults responsibility of this type. I wonder if this is what is wrong with youth today... How many young parents have NO clue how to attend to the basic needs of a child, no clue how to nuture or deal with a child.... yet just a few generations ago... this was a norm, and it was NOT taught in a class...

All I can truly say is that my son cared for his younger sister while mom and I were at work. This was usually in the evenings after school... and usually only for about 3 hours... He knew how to reach either of us at work, we had trusted neighbors that he could go to if needed, aunts and a grandma that he could call also if needed. He was responsible and caring, and probably stricter than either his mom or I, and it worked just fine. It depends on the children involved... He loved his baby sister and would NEVER let her get hurt... I raised him well..

~~DragonRider~~
 DragonRIder
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Advice for Nice Guys (locked)
Posted: 7/25/2006 5:06:04 PM
DWaP - I read your suggested article, and while I agree that there are quite a few that fall into that category.... However, I would add some additional insight...

There are nice guys out there that have the following:

1. Do we put ladies on a pedastal... probably, but this does not mean that we expect them to be perfect... perfection is perfectly boring... it is the flaws in which we find perfection, the flaws are what create an individual... and makes that person unique. The way I was raised, the lady indeed goes on the pedastal, but that only means that they are always treated with courtesy and respect and caring. WE (REAL MEN) are there to catch them when they fall or stumble, to help them over the rough sections... or share with them during the happy times.

2. Avoiding conflict... I admit to being guilty of this... to a point... The yelling, shouting screaming and other Bullsh*t is just pathetic... we should be a ble to discuss anything... compromise works too...

3. Pushover? No, I have my own opinions... and am unafraid to express them and discuss them... I will say though that I am flexible enough to enjoy nearly anything... and if it is something I object to, then... well... THe lady is welcome to pursue it with my support, yet without my company... as long as it does not conflict with our being a couple.

I speak slowly, I give thought to my words and meanings before uttering them. I can do my own thing... I certainly want to make my lady happy, as that will in turn make me happy. But I was brought up to believe that one should treat folk as one wishes to be treated... Even should I disagree with someone, I am an intelligent person that is capable of disagreeing with someone without making that person feel worthless. I do not need to yell and scream to make myself heard. I NEED not control a person and examine the minutae of their day to be their companion... I am equally capable of saying no as I am of saying yes. That I say yes more than no, is a personal choice... MOST things that people quibble over simple isn't worth the stress... As long as it isn't ofensive and does not look like poor trailer trash, the brown couch is fine, even if I like the Tan one better... in reality, the lady is probably going to be on that couch and around it far more often than I... what difference does it make?

Just my two cents worth... personally... my opinion.. .is that too many have gotten too used to too much abuse of one type or another and when presented with someone that cares about that person as a person, cares about their feelings, their desires and their needs, with out the verbal/mental/emotional/physical abuse... they have no clue what to do with it or how to handle it...

Have a great one, and thanks for the link, it was interesting...

Peace...

Dragon Rider...
 dragonrider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 38 (view)
 
I have figure out the secret...
Posted: 7/7/2006 6:06:02 PM
Gee... I am surprised to find that so many are still watching this thread... So lets see...

LovingAngel - I am all too aware that the grass isn't always greener and there are many facets. I could not say the girls are prettier up there, I am somewhat convinced however that they are less into games... that impression could be wrong... dunno...

jr5202 - Hmmm... wouldn't it be easier, and less tedious simply to say so up from rather than wait til one is prepared to travel to see them to suddenly "find" someone?

To all that commented on the whole, fibbing about where you live... either way... sorry, that is not me... and I can't see any percentage in it... one either would have to admit the lie, or perpetuate it with a "business" related move after a brief hiatus... holding together the fabric of the lie long enough for it not to matter would be problematic... and I think unwise...

LastheCPU - Yeah, already thought of that, however, there could be some compesation... would have to think on that on...

fifi47 - I agree with what you say, however I submit that we do exist... but... we just linger here (or at least I seem to... ) average looking you say? Average is okay... ;-)

lus_interior - You do sarcasm well... though the idea is to do it the other way around... I say I live further away from you, then when you want to meet me... "surprise" I live just down the street...

Have fun folks...

~~Dragon Rider~~
 dragonrider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 29 (view)
 
I have figure out the secret...
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:07:06 PM
Seems to me that I have neglected this thread terribly...

I thank you all for all your comments and observations...

Grass is Greener... possibly... though my reverse good luck charm seems nearly infallible... oh well...

There are a number that are "willing" to meet me... I have gotten close to quite a few... but... no gold mine...

JUst for looks... hmmm... I could provide credentials that show that I am a good provider, an excellent companion and patient father, friend and mate... somehow I don't think that will do it either... I still see far too many jerks and out right loosers win the game...

Perhaps I am simply getting too old... Dunno...

TO all my frineds... thanks for hollering... I am still around, still single... and still here...

~~Dragon Rider~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 131 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:31:59 PM
Um... I am not a mod, however... things seem to have gotten way off topic...

Treaties have been broken, too many times to too many folk, reparations should be made...

It IS up to the government to make this... however... (at least in the US) the citizens ARE the government... and WE the citizens bear 100% of the cost of everything... period...

Is it a house of cards... very, the whole world economy is... a fairly stable one, but still...

The idea of compensating parents for the labours they do is a laudable idea... but we can well see that the welfare system is broken in several respects. And certainly does not produce quality as an average...

Any system for compensation of parents must have controls on it and the compesation should be comisurate with the competence of the work perfomed... with bonuses for high school and college graduations, possibly based also on GPA. And potentially with other scaled bonuses and raises...

Sadly though, it will not work... the mental set in America just wouldn't allow it. Though I will say it would be one of the few government programs where we might actually get tangible value for our tax dollars...

Dragon Rider
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/25/2006 7:27:16 AM
Well ShadowLord - A cure? No, but I can think of ways to alleviate the problem... the easiet being to extend the help financial point to those that can prove they are working to improve themselves... That way we as a community could help those past that "hump", that way moving from welfare would not be as traumatic and we would be rewarding those that were actually trying. There is a host of other things that would make things better... education readily available and work assistance... Of course... for it all to work there have to be more jobs out there...

Profit - The problem isn't so much that people are making a profit, they should, companies should. The real issue is the amount of profit that folks want to take... I have long maintained that reducing the per piece profit on an item would grow sales, increase the net overall and spur the need for more jobs... why sell 20 items at a $5 profit when you could sell 100 at a $1... just my theory...

OH well... I have faith that we will get it together eventually...

Later

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 39 (view)
 
my 3 year old wont sleep in his bed HELP!!!!!
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:11:16 PM
Amnor - Whenver you like... and that is good... if you are lucky... you have a while yet before you get to the embarassing stage... For the record, I agree with synical... You have to be a great mom...

Synical - Sounds to me like you have the best of it...

For the record - Magic lights are a great monster slayer (the ones that come on with motion... ) and I suggested to one mom to put a lock on the closet door... that seems to work...

THere have been many things... I helped one mom make a monster trap... (and rigged it with green blood... that was the end of his nightmares, and being scared at night)

Just keep trying... be original...

Thanks ladies...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:31:37 PM
Shadowlord - I have tried privately - I have helped with schooling, tutoring and a lot of other things, including networking to get them better jobs... the system fights me at every turn...

How to do things widescale, I have no clue at... THe system is faulty... and I can see remedies... but... how to get the enacted, who to talk to... very hard


Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 36 (view)
 
my 3 year old wont sleep in his bed HELP!!!!!
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:21:41 PM
You did good amnor... and yeah, it is a sad time when the kids don't want to cuddle... and then after that, they have no time for you at all... but they all have to grow up I guess...

As I said, I never really had the problem myself... it was a treat for them... but... it all ends far too soon...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~[/b/]
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 33 (view)
 
my 3 year old wont sleep in his bed HELP!!!!!
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:15:27 PM
Thank you Synical... One tries

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:48:22 AM
WHile I agree with the above post... to a point... there are additional...

The way the whole welfare thing is set up... it forces the majority to stay on it... Due to a lack of skills on the part of the recipient... IF they get a job and try to better themselves... the amount they receive is reduced by the amount the make... and well... there is a point there where you can't make it on the two, and can't make it on just the one... so unless one is able to get a job that will make up the shortfall... you get trapped... (I have seen this more than once... where getting a job is a pay cut... )... Once you get a job, your controlled rent goes up... food stamps go down... etc... it can get to be a vicious cycle for those TRYING to do better...

Just a point to ponder...

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 30 (view)
 
my 3 year old wont sleep in his bed HELP!!!!!
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:12:12 AM
Hmmm... haven't really had that problem... most people seem to get it... It wasn't a joke (or not much of one... ) It was in response to the post immediately above it where someone suggested locking the kid in the room and letting him scream...

The amusing part of this is that I just got a private email telling me how thoughtful and wise my advice was...

Oh well... and folks wonder why there is so much mis-communication in the world... (sigh)...

Later

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 95 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/24/2006 6:59:19 AM
PIanist -


She IS NOT, and NEVER WILL be, her Mother


Careful with that attitude... That can cause more issues than it solves... Your child will end up walking ALL over your future intended if you aren't VERY careful

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 172 (view)
 
IMPORTANT --> Spyware - Popups, Homepage Changing, etc
Posted: 2/21/2006 1:55:26 PM
And that someone was right... there are a couple of commercial ones that will nail it... but..

There is another, but I don't recommend it unless you REALLY know what your are doing...

Let me know how it turns out... if needed, I MAY be able to give you some long distance support..

Later..
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 170 (view)
 
IMPORTANT --> Spyware - Popups, Homepage Changing, etc
Posted: 2/20/2006 8:02:58 PM
Grab a program called CWShredder.... it is specifically targeted agains coolwebsearch...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/20/2006 12:57:55 PM
Hey Ocean - She is cute and sweet... and am SURE she would have little interest in this Dragon... was just pointing out there are some of us out there that could work with the situation...

But I would be happy to be her friend... Dragons are warm and friendly creatures...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 220 (view)
 
why is it so had for men to except single moms
Posted: 2/20/2006 12:29:29 PM
Pasada - Personally, I always found dates WITH the kids easier... and in some ways... lots more fun... kids can be a lot of fun... and make the mudane much more magical... plus the added benefit (if one approaches it correctly) of making it so you CAN spend MORE time with the lady you are interested in... day trips to parks, playgrounds... picnics... swimming outings... even chucky cheese is fun...

So chin up cutie... there are guys out there that will do this too...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 218 (view)
 
why is it so had for men to except single moms
Posted: 2/20/2006 11:48:34 AM
Pasada and Mysterious - I just want to add here, a couple of things...

THe Ex always being in the picture - I have always felt (and I am sure this is because of MY childhood) that it could work. I tried very hard with the ex-wife, I encouraged the kids to go see him, IF that was their desire (there were some issues there) and ALWAYS encouraged him to spend time with them. THere were other things that I did... but they ARE his kids, while I am currently their full time caretaker, he still has the right to see them and they him (if both parties elect to do so, he chose not to, but my conscious is clear).

Second - Changing plans cause of babysitters, sickness, etc. - Have to say that is a natural and normal part of being a family... it happens... Something you have to deal with... I know it can make things hard... but... the end result is worth it... Of course, I am the type that the kids would be welcome to come along (of course there are going to be alone dates... but mostly... you can't get them to like you, if you shut them out)...

Just an additional two cents worth...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 71 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 9:08:05 PM
Cherose???? Really? I must have missed that... sorta... I read the first couple of pages and started replying...

I think there has been some good discussion here, and I apologize if you took anything I said as Aimed at you...

I doubt that you and I would have had the same disagreement you and he did, but I am a different sort..

(No shame in living with your parents hon... there are a variety of reasons... good and bad for this... don't worry and don't apologize... sheesh... )...

Pleased to have met you (sorta) I wish you well in your search for "The One" and hope that I said nothing to offend you....

Chat to ya sometime...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 70 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 8:56:55 PM
Oh I agree with you... and that is one thing that I have said all along (to those who can read... sigh)... spanking is, was, always has been and always would be the last action... never the first except in one instance (where the son tried to hit his mom)...

Sounds like your little girls are truly sweethearts, and I am SURE that any man that gets involved in their lives will be blessed for it...

And see... we have a meeting of minds... you seem a man of honor... all the way around... good job Sir...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/19/2006 8:52:08 PM
Mandy - Some of us can understand your native culture... and work with you in the context of still being a provider (which the men are in your culture, hunters, warriors, etc.... )

And you are right... pete does seem a touch negative...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 67 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 8:32:14 PM
Okay, last question - If you were to meet me, and approve of me as father figure in their lives? (This can happen, the man my Ex is married to I would trust in his judgement... hence the reason I ask, though there are no smalls ones around save the grandkids... )

And for that matter... what about grandparents?

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 65 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 8:01:36 PM
Restless one... Never? How about the reverse case, the father is absent more often (far more often ) than present... The young girl comes home one afternoon after a visit with Father (never Dad) only to discover she is in tears, and bleeding from her ear...

I had terse words with FATHER... and never had an issue... she got spanked ONCE in the ensuing years... she is still my little girl, I am still dad... and grandfather and we are still best friends...

In reality though, I am merely a step father... though they never treated me such or I them...

Dynamics change...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 64 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 7:57:57 PM
No harm Sireen, as you may have noted, I am not the type to lash out at someone without severe provocation...

And I will say that I can certainly see your point of view, after two years, your b/f SHOULD certainly know your views... I was merely saying that I could see where it may not have come up... and I respect you for your views... frankly it is a good way to be...

I appreciate your wanting to talk to your child about her acting out, that is certainly a reasonable response. And given the ground rules that you intend to be up front about it... I could not blame you for ushering him out the door... again, I was talking from an isolated incident where discussion on it had been previously overlooked...

As for adults Should know better... I do remember that this is a child... and I know they CAN be devious little things when they set their mind to it...

As for the last one... I refer to point three... It may not be that child's normal behaviour... but they can be devious... could it be that the little precious darling was goign out of her way to provoke and incident? I was simply trying to point out that if you introduce a new body in to a closed system, dynamics change... sometimes radically...

I remember once... long time ago, I was at a ladies house... she and I had been seeing each other for about 4 months, her little boy, whom I got along famously with, was playing in the other room... and I will admit I was not paying attention... he came into the kitchen and ended up getting me rather painfully in the groin... while I did not hit him back, it was a near thing... he did end up getting pushed down rather hard... before I could stop... knee jerk reaction... I of course immediately apologized to him and comforted him (he was crying, I scared him... and did not mean to)... In any case... it WAS an accident.. but still... it ended a pretty nice relationship... who was at fault?

Peace...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Ever get an email like this....???
Posted: 2/19/2006 7:19:33 PM
You are more than welcome Tanner...

And if you need others to chat to, you may include me on your list... I know folks that have had cancer, and I have helped them through it...

Keep that chin up, and congratulations on finding that great guy to be there through it with you... you are twice blessed...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 59 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 7:16:44 PM
A relationship could never work? It is your child, he should be able to respect your wishes with you child (if he is a mature reasoning person... if not, well, he has other issues that you will discover), and The comfort level between child and adult can be restored... I know this... they get mad at you as a parent all the time... part of growing up is learning forgiveness...

But, there must be willing and open discussion on both sides... or no, you would never come to a meeting of minds...

The only other thought that I will leave you with is this... if you are looking for a long term commitment, How Long? You are thirty, are you looking for something for the rest of your life? So that is what 40 years or more?

Realistically, your child will be in your home what, another 10 -12 years (guessing here.. ) then she will be gone... and other than this ONE incident... he is what you are looking for? What will you miss in those years? WHat will she miss? Just something to think about...

And a final comment... if a child is resentful over a split between mommy and daddy, and is going to be resentful about either parent having someone else in their lives... should that child learn that it has the power to ternimate a relationship, regardless of the means... what does that mean for you? I throw this out there because I have seen this in action... and once they discover the CAN do it, they will keep working out ways TO do it... I have seen this...

later folks ...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 57 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 6:56:52 PM
I was not defending his actions... simply stating that it seemed somewhat preemptive to simply kill a long standing relationship over it...

As for the alternative punishments... If the child would not listen to stop hitting him, how much more would the listen for a time out? Restrain the child? And what would the child have said about that?

Did he make a poor choice? Possibly, I in his position, probably would not have chosen spanking... He certainly made a mistake in not having had this discussion with mom a long time ago...

I know that some here are absolutely against spanking, I respect thier viewpoints, though I disagree in principle. I think it is an over reaction to the intent. I do not say that they are necessarily bad parents. I do think a lot of things that I see around me on a daily basis are the result of bad parents on BOTH sides... those that thing taking a belt to a kid is warranted for every offense, and those that simpy are too lenient or forgiving with their children...

Please though, my kids are great, productive, happy and good parents themselves... Don't call me a bad parent... just becasue I found a few time s in the many years where I felt spanking was needed and warranted...

As for you booting a guy out the door... that is your choice... a singular incident can be worked out... or not... it may be that your views are simply too different... but no discussion is pretty cold hearted against someone that you claim to care about...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 54 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 6:20:33 PM
Sireen - I was not attacking you, just showing up the logical fallacies in your statements...

No I do not say that a child is the equivalent of a grown man... Hitting and spanking are two entirely different things...

AS for the co-parenting statement... the original premise was that these two had been seeing each other for a couple of years... so one should be safe in assuming that there were deep into that relationship. But that is for a different story...

And do keep in mind, this is her child... Do remember that the CHILD was the antogonist in this scenario... NOT the adult... My impression was that the child was intentionally attempting to cause both hurt and pain...

As far as your child having the keys to the kingdom... I agree, children come first... however... and this may seem callous but your child cannot rule your life, nor decide for you who you will and will not see. Most children will have a certain amount of resistence and animosity about a new partner for their parent... but actively attempting to sabotage your new relationship is not good behaviour... or acceptable. I will respect my childs opinions, and defend their right to express them in appropriate ways... but will not allow them to rule my life.

And finally... I would let now one harm a child of mine... it isn't like he slapped her across the room, or beat her black and blue... he gave her a simple spanking... and apparently a first time thing... Which two ADULTS could discuss without severing what appears to have been a long standing and mutually rewarding relationship... Shame to act impetuously like that...

I will say though, if the spanking was unwarranted, or if it had strayed into abuse... yep... someone has a fight on their hands and the relationship would be ended... but a simple spanking for an unruly and apparently antagonistic child? I think not... even criminals get a fairer play than that...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 49 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 5:01:41 PM
I agree... and think I said that earlier...

Smart girl Smiley...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 47 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 2:13:02 PM
Ouch... What did I do? Sheesh...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 45 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 1:41:57 PM
I try... thanks for the hug... here is one back (wow... that was fun ;-) )

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 43 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 1:21:48 PM
No reason for you to feel shame hon... the guy was being a jerk and an *ss...

I think you did well... and for the record, the child had every right to be annoyed, might could have handled it differently... but part of being a child is having limited resource and experience to draw on... that is what they need US for...

Hang in the Cherose... you did fine...

(I know it wasn't at me... I was just teasing... don't want to make you mad at me... )

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 41 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:56:02 PM
Ouch... I hope that was not at me....

You have no need for shame... and no one should pick on you or your child... (children WILL misbehave though... )

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 39 (view)
 
My BF/GF hit my child.... What now?
Posted: 2/19/2006 11:49:09 AM
Sireen -

On point one - ADULTS are responsible for teaching children, we teach just by being around them.... abdicating responsibility teaches too... If someone trusts me enough to leave their child with me, then they have vested authority in me... calling this person home to deal with that child teaches a)That I have zero authority and b)They can get rid of me anytime and c) they have no reason to listen to a thing I say... cause I have just given up ALL resposibilty and authority...

On Point two - I am assuming that you are saying the B/F is out the door... your choice... but guess... you have JUST given your child the keys to the kingdom... she now knows that she can control your life... you are now in trouble...

On Point 3 - Hmmm... You appear to be completely against any violence at all... yet, you are going to smack someone around? You have just shown your daughter that VIOLENCE does indeed have it's place... whenever someone does something you don't like...

On Point 4 - See point three... you just broke your own rules..

Not trying to be argumentative... or aggravate you... just pointing out that you have tripped yourself up there a bit...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Ever get an email like this....???
Posted: 2/19/2006 11:31:20 AM
Tanner - The possibility of loosing something makes it all the more precious... I will you well and hope that all turns out good for you.... Hopefully you will find one that will stand beside you and lend you strength in your trials... help you to smile through it all...

(Gorgeous by the way... )

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 210 (view)
 
why is it so had for men to except single moms
Posted: 2/19/2006 9:07:13 AM
I didn't take it personally... It was cute... and I was laughing the whole time...

Cat fight didn't work eh... shame that...

Peace ladies..

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Leaving a note on her car?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:23:32 AM
You know, I know it is an unsafe world out there... but seriously, have we grown this cynical and scared? Sheesh...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Ever get an email like this....???
Posted: 2/18/2006 11:47:41 PM
AnEnigma - Two things...

If you didn't care - You wouldn't be you...

If we DIDn't care, we could not be taken advantage of...

No good deed EVER goes unpunished...

If you have to ERR do it on the side of good... at least you will sleep better...

Ok.. that was more than Two... but the risk of being a really good person is that you WILL be taken advantage of, probably more than once... If you can smile and blow it off, you are a strong person indeed... (this does not mean you can't go to your garage and break something... )

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/18/2006 10:12:33 PM
Sorry Mandy - Iowa, Illinois and Colorado are the others... and it is Tennessee just so you know...

By the way... nice smile...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 207 (view)
 
why is it so had for men to except single moms
Posted: 2/18/2006 10:01:42 PM
PeaceOfficer... if she did, I missed it, nor was I referring to you when I said that... You seem like a nice guy... despite your neighbor

Pasada - Thank you... twice I think??? (I am going to have to go look that one up... you get points... it is fairly rare someone comes up with a word that I don't know... Yippee... )(Just did... a member of an extinct species eh? I am going to assume... for my peace of mind and whatever ego I have, that was intended as a compliment... ;-) )

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:57:22 PM
Actually, I was serious... as Illinois is not one of them... nor is my native TN or IA or CO as far as I know (I could be out of date... )

Mandy - No worries, you will have to work harder than that to loose points with me...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:41:38 PM
Feminists are usually up in arms over something any way...

THough I will say this, there is NO reason the two could NOT be in place at the same time... and allow the lady to choose... My personal feelings is that it is better for the child, if the mom or the dad are home during the first years anyway... and yes, I realize that this complicates things(trying to keep up in your career field and what not).

But there is HOPE... as more and more computerization and expansion of services come... there are more companies that are willing to allow people to work from home... visiting the office only weekly or bi-weekly... This of course is the ultimate for those parents that want/need to work but would choose to stay at home with their children if they could.

Mandy - No points lost here... You still have my respect... for whatever that may be worth...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:14:22 PM
Oh? And just how do they do this? Last I knew there was no mandatory sterilization law, which I think would be unconstitutional anyway...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Ever get an email like this....???
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:13:12 PM
On a more sappy and sentimental note... as I had this discussion not long ago... were I to meet "THE ONE" and she were to be diagnosed with a terminal disease, I would still marry her, and do my UTMOST BEST to care for her and make every remaining day as pleasant and as good as I could. I would not regret it and would be thankful for any and ALL time allowed us and regret only that there was not more...

WE are all dieing..... that is alloted to us on the day we are conceived... ANy of us could be hit by a bus or fatal stroke tomorrow... to deprive ourselves or those that love us the right and chance to actually love us if far more cruel than leaving too early... For if you truly love someone, there is NEVER ENOUGH time... not 20 years, nor 2 hundred...

To Deny love, is to diminish the quality of our lives and is truly the greatest sin...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Unpaid Work
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:06:32 PM
Mandy - Personally, I think you have so far done a wonderful Job... Congratulations on being strong enough mentally and emotionally to do what is right by your standards (and mine for that matter)

I haven't looked back here for a bit... sorry...

(sigh) where to begin... Okay... First off... to the genleman that says he does not wish to pay to raise someone else's child. You already are, welfare, TANF, food stamps are all government subsidies... your taxes contribute. If it came right down to it, if I thought I would get the quality, I would be happy to subsidize stay at home parents... then at least it might clean up some of the trash... the problem is just that ... quality... Perhaps if we paid more... kids would get raised better... for there would be less frustration, more quality time with the kids and a better environment for them to grow up in...

I made the comment about welfare moms... more kids=more money... this is still true... in a lot of cases these moms get cash too as well as food stamps AND rent and electric help and bus passes. The comment was made that I must have no idea of what it costs to raise a child... you are right... it costs a bundle... but... well lets see... medical expenses for the birth are covered by medicaid, WIC chips in for formula/milk, cheese, eggs, cereal, juice etc. all the way to age 5 I think it is? SOme of the low income approved housing around here is VERY nice... Oh and lets not forget that low income families get discount or free services at schools, subsidies for books and such and of course their medical and dental is coveraged to age 18.

So... you are already paying for it... SO the concept of getting paid to raise a child is not all that unrealistic... and could very well be BETTER than what is in place... and MIGHT catch the "welfare moms" that are abusing the system and raise everyones standard of living. It is QUITE possible, if the stigma of being subsidized by the government could be erased... THat it would Be a CHEAPER system... and might do a lot of good...

As I said before... I don't think it would fly HERE, but I can see where it COULD be a good system...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Ever get an email like this....???
Posted: 2/18/2006 8:36:33 PM
Enigma - Yeah, I am an optimist... but... he might just be telling the truth... he might have already been through the whole "worst crisis" thing and wrote many drafts of that letter before sending it to you...

I have to agree... it does seem that it could be a dodge... or it could be the result of a deep melancholy... hard to tell, don't know him, don't know his particular personality... depression does some interesting things to ones mind...

If it were I, I would have to write him back, and yes, at the least I would extend compassion and regret. I have had a couple of friends that have faced potentially terminal conditions, and in about half of them, I have had to nearly drag out of them what the issues were...

I have to say I am sitting on the fence on this one...

You will have to follow your heart on this one, I know that if I blew it off out of hand, and did nothing, then discovered that he died, or even that he had 6 months of chemo and other things on him and survived (it is possible that the doctors told him the could do the chemo route but chances were slim that he would survive, my daughter in law's brother in law went this route... and did not in fact survive) I would be miserable... more so even than if I extended my hand onlyto have it bitten off...

Whatever you do... YOU are going to be the one that must look in the mirror every morning after your choice... just make sure you can look at your self...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 204 (view)
 
why is it so had for men to except single moms
Posted: 2/18/2006 8:09:20 PM
Who accused you?

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons...
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 202 (view)
 
why is it so had for men to except single moms
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:51:00 PM
Very cool RealGirl... yeah, it is still going... neanderthals keep popping their ugly sides up...

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Bad BJ'S ???
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:08:05 PM
Careful... cinnamon is an extreme aggravant... and that area is tender... ot that type of thing.. it could end up painful in the long run, for him AND you (assuming stuff goes on after that... )

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons
~~~Dragon Rider~~~
 
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