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 Author Thread: Is there anything with wanting to see someone everyday?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Is there anything with wanting to see someone everyday?
Posted: 6/7/2012 10:32:29 AM
I guess ultimately that's the difference between people that seek "relationships" versus "dating"......People that seek a relationship do want to see someone often.....I was in a relationship a year ago that I had a terrible time adjusting to someone that wanted to spend a lot of time together, but I had a talk with him and told him I did often need my time alone, but that didn't mean I didn't like him....but we did manage to balance things out eventually
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is there anything with wanting to see someone everyday?
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:21:18 PM
I've had relationships where I saw someone everyday or had daily commiunication, but I have discovered that to some people this is a foreign concept, but I also must say that I really gotta like someone to have a relationship like that....it is very hard to find people capable of that level of communication.....and as the lady mentioned above this don't happen over night and start out that way.....

ps....i don't think it means your "needy " to see someone often...just means you enjoy one anothers company...and may even mean your "easy going"
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 663 (view)
 
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/6/2012 12:13:36 AM
I think it all boils down to being made to feel like an "object" sometimes.....I know I've "played along" many times in my life and sometimes it just "hits you wrong" and you feel like an "object" intead of it feeling like a great compliment....I think some people will never understand this...the person on the other end of it I guess has no idea they just made you feel like an object....and I am an humble person and do not think I'm hot, I can empathize, but I would suggest taking any pictures down showing skin etc.....anything considered sexy....it will help a lil bit....
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Lack of emotion; sign of a problem?
Posted: 6/4/2012 8:14:20 PM
I am like this when I'm "healing" after bad breakup or something....which is why I usually try to wait until I'm completely healed....I was telling one of my friends the other day that Brad Pitt could walk by and I would not get excited, but I honestly think this is because Im not healed from a prior relationship yet... ...very sure of this.....I'm emotionally suppressed person so is not often someone awakesn my sense in me in the dating field...

totally relate to "SHAKTI" above....it is sooooo rare for me too....

Also when you get this way sometimes it is time to take a dating break....reaccess...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 630 (view)
 
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:41:48 PM
Just as a suggestion take the picture down of you in the red dress. ..I think red gets their blood going...lol....and maybe make comment in your profile that compliments about your physical appearance makes you uncomfortable...I'm very reserved person that suppresses my emotions when I first meet someone, so I sometimes do not know how to react to compliments either....sometimes it depends on the maturity in which it is delivered....or if the compliment is rather impulsive.......self control, self control, self control.....
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 836 (view)
 
Expain the phrase My children are my top priority?
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:02:54 PM
I always felt like it should be "common sense" that children come first, but unfortunately some people don't have that...lol....but if you are unable to make time for dating or making the person your dating feel "2nd" all the time....then that could be a problem...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Getting dissed while messaging
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:50:32 PM
Gonna go with "my gut" on this one....I think the fact he gave you compliment sooooo quickly and used the word gorgeous means he wasn't in the mood to focus on a discussion about business and would like for you to play along and be miss "fun thing".....he wasn't "in the mood" to discuss business...Besides gorgeous is a strong compliment versus "you are an attractive woman"...As to whether he was a fake or not will remain a mystery...but I'd kinda lean towards possible fake....it's really just a guessing game with too little information
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Express yourself features...
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:51:48 PM
Yeah you could get some kinda idea about morals of a person by seeing their forum posting history from profile sometimes...but i saw discussion on that and don't think there's hope of it coming back...

Well glad my slap light bulb idea of the day wasn't thought to be completely terrible...I was afraid of reaction to this...

Or maybe they need an old fashioned "Gong"...you know like on the "Gong" show where they hit it when ya bombed on stage?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Express yourself features...
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:32:22 PM
So I was thinking...wouldn't it be nice if there was a feature when we send the mail like a nice "slap" for the men that get fresh with ya on the first email or a nice "slap " feature for when the men get nasty for no good reason...I've had this happen...it is so frustrating...Recently a guy had a picture of his kid on the toilet seat that contacted me and I expressed that I didn't think that was appropriate and he wrote back to call me a "witch" with a "b"...I think a nice slap would have been in order for that...I mean come on almost all the classic old love story movies had nice slap scene in them...Wasn't there one in gone with the wind?

Ok...so it's just an idea...so sue me if no one likes it...we can block them after they receive it...maybe it would relieve some of the ladies frustrations...it sure would mine....
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
What Would Do If Your Date Said To You, I'm Use To Dating Someone Better Looking Than You?
Posted: 9/15/2009 9:01:25 PM
I have to ask ...then why are you not with the better looking people now and wasting my time?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Why do people pester a person after dumping them?
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:42:46 AM
That would be confusing...doesn't make sense at all...don't got answer for this one...a good psychiatrist maybe?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 237 (view)
 
Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:41:21 AM
I got married the last year and half of my college years...so I don't understand why you guys could not do that otherwise it is ridiculous to expect someone to wait that long...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What is with all of these girls who want a God Fearing man???
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:29:43 AM
Well, It means you got morals and you know the ten commandments for starters ...because for one thing taking his name in vain is breaking a commandment so you obviously don't fall in that cateory...maybe they heard ya swear and don't think you got good morals...
I know I wouldn't want to date a man that said G.D. like that...Not Good...

Just means if your Christian that your serious about it...there are some that claim to have religion that are very liberal and may go against specific scriptures...God fearing means you take the scripture seriously and your religion seriously...not "flakey" about it...

Maybe some of the ladies out there are finally starting to figure out about the only way to find a man these days that isn't just out for sex is to seek one that is God fearing...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Charles Darwin film 'too controversial for religious America'
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:22:31 AM
Ahhhh whatever...I am Christian and the bible is always the ultimate truth to me...there is a scripture in the bible that says 1 day is as a 1000 to God...so I think there are some mysterious unknown to man that will not be solved until we leave these earthly bodies and we will have all knowledge...so in the meantime...Im not gonna sweat it...you can either join those that will be filled with all knowledge someday or not...There are those that seek knowledge on this earth and nothing wrong with that as long as you follow the bible too...someday we will understand,but in the meantime God is good...and think Im gonna trust him...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 387 (view)
 
Why do women date mutiple guys at once?
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:43:55 AM
I try to focus on one man at a time, but I suspect they do it for same reasons men do it...If they aren't serioius about you then they continue to date others and you are not exclusive...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Society Emotionally Detached
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:19:49 AM
Good Post piano4te. I appreciate your insights...

Post by AK Writer: "Ever since the boomers, it's been "all about me", in a negative way. If someone's upset they don't stop to consider whether their reason is legitimate or not, they tell them to "stop whining", they write off EVERYTHING as self-pity. Family died? Spare me the drama. House burned down? Man up and move on. "

Akawriter that's the stuff I'm talking about...That attitude is on the scary side...makes ya wonder if the person saying it can put anything into perspective..."Move On" is a term so overused now and used a lil too quickly...Knowing when it is time to "Move On" is a talent...if you don't stop to reflect a lil and learn lessons then your "Moving On" too quickly...it is natural to stop and reflect...it isn't natural to get "Stuck"...


 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Society Emotionally Detached
Posted: 9/14/2009 5:19:17 PM
Yeah it is a "Me " oriented generation no doubt...that's kinda scary to me...the attitude of "what's in it for me" shows we are slowly becoming very emotionally shallow beings...

Mthomjmark...my mother was never a coddler...that is a false assumption..nor was my father...they always gave logical advice...if it walked like a duck and talked like a duck it was a duck...I am 39 years old and noticed you are 40...what makes you think that you and I are from different generations? How logically is it that you think you've assumed that correctly? My mother would always tell you the straight up truth about something even if it stung like 100 bees...

I came from a background of a VERY SOLID practical, non spoiling and well grounded that is a total false assumption you just made...

I tend to find that those that come from stable upbringing and down to earth advice are actually more compassionate...they have a more "clear" picture of the way people ought to be...what I do tend to find is those that have had "wacky" upbringings are the ones that have no compassion for their fellow man...their needs were not met as youths...then I tend to find that those that were overly spoiled as you have mentioned...never saw the light either and tend to wind up being "takers" and never "giving " back...and totally unable to help or related to another human being that is hurt...

What I tend to find is those that are unable to "give" have "selfish" issues...you can give a tiny bit of gentle kindness backed up with some logical advice in certain situations and it works wonderfully....I don't see many with that talent talent these days...so much harshness...my theory...they were coddled so tend to take the opposite method of what they received...

My theory: those that were coddled actually give the less compassion sometimes...
Struggles should make us more compassionate and smarter...not colder and more selfish...caring nothing for your fellow man...

The RIGHT MIX of compassion and logic is a powerful thing...total logic with no compassion may be in order for some very hard up cases...having the instincts and judgement is the key...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
True Colors Online (Socially Detached)
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:27:11 PM
My friends outside of here are logical and will speak fairness...Sometimes it seems a persons "true nature" or "true colors" show online...I'm speaking of the cold attitudes you may find in internet forums...some folks seem to just really lash out with some bizairre cold attitudes...what you may see as seeking "self pity" may be a cry out to hear logical justice speak in daily life...it doesn't mean I'm not strong and cannot live without hearing others speak fairness...just means I'm baffled these days...

Very much agree with your post...Calliwally...I tend to believe in karma and reaping of what I sew and try to show compassion when it is logical and on the occassions we don't need to browbeat someone...what's the point? to vent their hidden frustrations? to treat another person in the cold way they've been treated?...perhaps this generation was "coddled" and don't give to others what they received...how will the children of those who see such coldness turn out?

If you stubble and fall...you will not see an uplifting hand? Does that mean less competition for life in general...keep those that have tripped and stumbled in life down in the gutters?...bizairre attitude...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Society Emotionally Detached
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:46:33 PM
A person can be accountable for their actions, but is everyone perfect? Don't we all make mistakes? Should they be treated as less of a person forever for making a mistake? If they own up to a mistake then can't ya say "I'm sorry that this mistake was made, I hope you've learned from it and I do sincerely wish you the best, I will listen for a limited time, but then we must move on and cannot rehash it again...that is the best I can do"...how hard is that?...Why do you feel your heart is put in the blender? if you think your heart is in the blender then how do you think the person that has actually suffered more pain feels? Im mainly talking about people that are feeling justified in being mistreated...surely there is an intelligient audience out there that knows what that means...people make mistakes for reasons...the human mind is a complex thing....perhaps their world is more confusing than your own...were is societies compassion...?

I recently had someone attack me... I did not start it and then had couple of people accuse us both of the problem...I was baffled and then realized that they missed "the details" ...the devil is in the details they say....if our courts of law were like that what kind of government would this be called? It baffled me because I thought intelligient people could sort things out better than that...then I realized ..."They don't care" .." "They were too lazy to truly sort and hear the facts..."...if the US courts of law made judgement calls like we see here in the forums would you feel safe the USA? I would not...

How cold will society get with attitudes like this...what will our government be like in future? This attitude doesn't appeart to be in those of higher power?...Like I said our courts of law with elected officials don't view problems this way...but common citizens cannot
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Society Emotionally Detached
Posted: 9/9/2009 1:03:00 PM
Once upon a time society used to be more "supportive" , but I've noticed lately that if you mention a problem or something difficult instead of hearing "I'm sorry your going thru that" or "I understand" our society is becoming "unsupportive"...not able to say anything comforting...Instead you get comments like "don't think about it"...."don't let it bother you"well if you could do that you would never mention the problem right? I find that kind of advice unsettling and makes me wonder about the person giving it...

Used to we "talked things out" found out what problem was and got to bottom of it...society now wants to dismiss and not acknowledge things or sort things out accurately...Why has this become the trend...Lots' of mangled minds out there that never received the right kind of support at home in relationships? Abused? What will happen in future? Will we be a mute society that doesn't talk about anything? What will be the emotional and underlying damage there?

I have even observed 2 people having an argument and heard by standers blame both...are we lazy now? In a courtroom of law the judge and jury will hear both sides and determine who is at fault...When I grew up lots of time the person that started an argument was lots of times considered to be at fault unless the other person started it in some sneaky way...is this some kind of new way of mangling our minds? Those who are confused are angry and bitter and want everyone else to be confused to because no one ever helped them to sort anything out and see a problem more clearly?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Why do women try to make men feel quilty?
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:12:28 PM
If the man said something that made a women feel hurt then it is his actions and words apparently that did cause the pain...(im assuming it is pain)....If he cared about her feelings he would not want her to feel hurt....

These feelings apparently were a direct result of something said by the man...What did this man say to this woman?

A person can own up to their own feelings in their own time and at their own free will..not simply because you will it so....A person can own up to their own feelings no doubt, but in this situation you plainly stated that something was said to cause the feelings...I'm a person that focuses on CAUSE AND EFFECT...you apparently were not the recipient of something hurtful said...so it is easy for you to simply be a bystander observing that which you do not feel yourself ...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Change of Heart
Posted: 8/28/2009 8:59:40 AM
Were you just reminiscing about something that happened 10 years ago? Did you ever see this guy again after he put you down with the boss? I really hope not....he doesn't care about you if he would talk about you like that...He is what i call a SOUR guy

I've always made it a policy to not date people from work...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Change of Heart
Posted: 8/28/2009 8:32:45 AM
Try to date guys with consistent behavior....guys who change behavior like this "on a dime" are something to avoid...

If you knew you weren't ready then you were just being true to yourself and he turned sour...I'm leary of men that give out sad stories about death to get close to you...Men know we get all soft and gooey when they are hurting. A women's nature is to nuture quite often...and sorry to say this , but lots of guys think comfort means "sex"...

He's got a prideful personality flaw...since you didn't get together he's back to "putting you down" ...instead of being a man and just saying to the boss "it didn't work out", he was prideful and "put you down"...if your boss allowed him to talk that way you may want to find work elsewhere where you can be comfortable....

I've had experiences like this quite often...it is the PITS...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Manipulation or acceptable behaviour?
Posted: 8/27/2009 5:24:57 PM
No I did not bring here..that is an inaccurate statement..."refined_40" introduced that topic....you are contributing by commenting on his inappropriate posts...please stick to the topic of the origianl thread...that is really none of your business...and this guy will be up for defammation of character and slander and anyone else that quotes that...

There is no need for Jerry Springer Gawkers on the sidelines here...those comments were inappropriate...

I got one last thing to say to refined_40....didn't your dad ever explain to you about the code of ethics and confidentiality of medical records...that's a poor reflection of them....

Thanks again Arabicangel a true friend
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Manipulation or acceptable behaviour?
Posted: 8/27/2009 4:31:59 PM
He's up for lawsuit of defamation of character and slander...and some other issues and invasion of privacy...i've made nice lil copy of this with my snipping tool and it will be saved to flash drive and taken to local police...your up for harrassment because i've already talked to them today...you don't know what real love it.....thanks brad...you just opened the door for nice lil lawsuit too for defamation of character...I've talked to Attorney General's Office today about your invasion of privacy that you admitted to on my facebook and I have this stored away in nice secure place

And here's where the Psychological Projection Theory comes in...I did not freak out...I never freak out...I'm always calm buddy...You freaked out and said verbally abusive stuff that falls in the harrassment category...when I wouldn't tell you I still loved you

Thanks for tip Arabianangel...I'll count you as true friend...I still have ya on my favorites by the way...love your posts...

And Sweet Darlin "Gone Sailin"...I don't think you accurately stated that above...there was no "we" that brought my relationship into this in the thread there was an individual named "refined_40" followed me into this thread...get your facts straight...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Manipulation or acceptable behaviour?
Posted: 8/27/2009 2:19:50 PM
I've been a victim of the "Psychological Projection Theory"...this was something I read about in college years ago so don't know if it's still in the textbooks, but it is when someone accuses you of a behavior that is actually something they are guilty of... I've dealt with complex personalities in my life and boy is it "draining"...I feel for ya if your dealing with this... I've dealt with someone just currently that would "put me down" if they didn't like some conversation I was having with them using reasoning and logic...it was quite hard and upsetting...I pride myself on being able to talk gently with someone but can be quite merciless when I feel someone is being verbally abusive and then tries to say they care about you...I will nip that sorta wacko behavior in the bud quite swiftly...I was raised in a family that was loyal and would defend you to the end if they thought you were being taken advantage of, so I have a hard time understanding manipulative people non direct people... I can usually detect them in a heartbeat, but occasionally a manipulative personality type comes along with a new technique that may catch me off guard...it's rare...I dare say we even have lot of strange personalities in forum postings that will attack you etc or belittle your logic and not acknowledge your right to be treated well and immediately form what I call a RADICAL opinion which is always the opposite of yours...Radical means if you say the kettle is black they will always come in and say "no it's white" or "no i think it may be grey" and run you out of your mind...

I detest manipulative nature most of the time, but don't mind the occasional good intentions of a trusted friend or romantic partner that may suttlely manipulate you harmlessly for good intentions....you really have to focus on the reason behind their desire to take the manipulative approach...why are they trying to manipulate you? For good intentions or for a selfish desire?

Sociopaths are what you gotta watch out for...they will use you and toss you aside like a rag doll and move on to the next person with utterly no consicious about it...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Forum Posts
Posted: 8/27/2009 2:01:51 PM
Then what is your purpose of even discussing this? The new changes are "inefficient" and "not user friendly" to the users of POF...Sorry but you can't "sell" this stuff to me as an improvement...I'm not "buying into that"

So you guys did away with the favorites simply to "spare" the egos of those who could not handle the #'s?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Forum Posts
Posted: 8/27/2009 1:30:20 PM
It is "inefficient' and not "user friendly" to not be able to see # of favorites...once again I don't know about the convenience of this from the programmers end...perhaps it "shortens" the raw html code and conserves memory...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Favourites & Last 5 Forum Posts being removed from profiles
Posted: 8/27/2009 1:16:41 PM
The forum threads on profiles was an easy way to gauge the morality of an individual and was liked by many people...

Sometimes their morals are not easy to see on a profile description. However opinions on forum issues gave you a better picture of that. Sad to see it gone...Sad to see that the moderator is in a "non-listening" mode. A good moderator should be a good listener and FAIR otherwise why have you even left this thread open logically? This attitude is dictatorship and insensitive

The way we retrieve our forum posts is now "inefficient" for the users...I don't know about the programming code behind the seens and how complicated it was or if has been made "shorter" now...taking up less memory space in the background etc...but some more logical answers would be nice...I have worked with raw HTML programming code and am familiar with it...I realize this is a free site, but the attitude behind the scenes lately is unbelievable...

If this is an issue of bad Public Relations due to awful forum postings then better moderators would solve that problem...sorry gotta call the shots as I see them and be honest...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What to do when they won't leave?
Posted: 8/27/2009 12:40:23 PM
Sir these people have been hired to do work and that is what they are doing. Honestly how do you expect them to complete the work if they aren't there?

Honestly you are an adult and could have discussed that you were taking a vacation day prior to this problem popping up and see if something could be worked out...did you guys sign any paper agreements on their schedule? They've been hired to work and that is what they are doing...You may want to go get a hotel room while your off.

I would imagine these guys wouldn't like to be referred to as raccoons...unless you'd like to get out there and do the construction work yourself you may want to show them some respect for being there and their work and they got a LONG line of folks lined up at the door for more orders...they might opt to send you down to the local dentist office to replace a tooth for calling them racoon's as well.....being a builder is a good skill...if they are doing poor work that is another matter...

My family is builders and are the best in the world at the specific thing they build and unless they were contracted to you would walk off from your job if they knew you referred to them as racoons and would tell you to do it yourself and where to take it and shove it (they don't build houses by the way)

Anytime you have remodeling work done that is the nature of the beast..it's not a relaxing process...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Manners when asking for Messenger ID
Posted: 8/27/2009 11:05:13 AM
PER BARBEE 1970

"The rude response wasn't necessary. I don't like to give my IM out either. I think you did the right thing.

The problem I encounter is that men don't want to have an intelligent conversation with instant messenger. They always have to start thinking with their little heads(between their legs) and talk about sex."

I think Barbee 1970 was SPOT ON as well...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Manners when asking for Messenger ID
Posted: 8/27/2009 10:28:37 AM
I really don't think it was bad manners to state that "I personally" consider it bad manners to be so blunt and impatient on a first contact. I think that was being honest and saving alot of time. He showed his true colors when he reacted in negative way.

The words that I chose to express this to him were adult and mature and not rude, his response was not adult and mature. Perhaps I was right to not give this information out.

Not everyone gives out there messenger id so readily. I have one set up and don't plan to share that information until a person displays normal social skills. Patience is a quality I seek in a person. I am not interested in instant messaging with someone that does not have any.

Prior Posts:

PER SMILEEATJEN "I think his response was rude."

PER CMONSTER "Even though a lot of guys prefer IM to email, its understandable not to give out your IM account to just any random person on the Net"

PERVIPEPRESS "Excuse me, but I'd have handled HIM a bit 'differently'. In his TACKY response to NOT GETTING HIS WAY, I'd have informed him that you are indeed NOT a princess but a QUEEN. I would have ALSO brought to his 'attention' that you were, as a MATTER OF FACT a 'person' also who deserves to be RESPECTED. On the OTHER HAND, he was a SLIMY COMMON TOAD and his INFANTILE tantrum of insults could promptly be SHOVED up his A$$ SIDEWAYS !!! It IS rude and presumptuous to THINK that a woman would just HAND OVER her IM address to waste time on SOMEONE like HIM after an obtuse, VERY BRIEF correspondence. Obviously he showed his TRUE COLORS immediately, and lucky for you that you didn't spend any more TIME on his NONSENSE !!! After that is said, the best form of getting your 'point across' is to simply IGNORE him for the duration. I don't get many of these ADULT BABIES and tend to not block people, but when I am messaged by one of that 'TYPE', I just WIPE OUT all of the messages without reading them. When he checks his 'mail', he will see that the message was DELETED WITHOUT BEING READ. The best way to take charge and diffuse an IMBECILE like that, is to pretend he doesn't EXIST, which all in all is NOT hard to do with an immature, EGO MANIACAL, impotent, JERK OFF. ~scowls and brandishes a sledge hammer~"

PER HAZELROSE " just tell guys straight up "I don't give out my IM, so get to know me the way this arena was set up, or find another fish." I like emailing better than IM. It's just a faster way of textng, so why not just get to know the person, and then talk on the phone. Emailing/texting is too impersonal which is why guys have an easier time doing it, or writing sexually explicit crap which is why women have stopped being nice about IM."

I think HazelRose is SPOT On and that is how I feel about it too...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Manners when asking for Messenger ID
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:56:32 AM
gecko...so what do you say when you choose not to give it out? Im interested to know...you left that part of the story out? Do you simply not respond?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Manners when asking for Messenger ID
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:34:46 AM
I disagree Julie it is not impolite to state that you think something is bad manners...
That is a very mature and intelligent way to communicate this. That is my true feelings about it...and it isn't "Beating around the Bush"

For those of you that think that was rude...let me put this in REAL perspective:

Rude Response = "well hey pal, your no prince charming there, what makes ya think I'm gonna give out my Messenger ID to a toad like you"....

Rude Response = "Buzz off dude, you disgust me"

Rude Response = "Your unattractive dude go catch flies"

Mature & Actual Repsonse = "I consider it bad manners to ask for Messenger Id so quickly in a first contact"

The way I see it that was a kind gentle way to say I didn't want to be asked for that information in a first contact email. Not everyone tosses out their messenger id...ALL of my friends are cautious about who they toss it out to...My instant messenger is reserved for friends and family...I do not want to go the trouble of removing someone if they don't have normal social skills...I don't feel it is my job to teach them either ...Grown adults should know what good manners are already...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Manners when asking for Messenger ID
Posted: 8/25/2009 11:09:49 PM
I strongly disagree with you Helen...I know LOTS of ladies that would have been far more extreme in pointing out his poor social graces...I strongly disagree with your adjective of "incredibly " rude ...that's totally blown out of perspective and wayyy over exagerated....

Apparently his mother didn't teach him manners or he forgot them...

I have in past ignored or simply said " I don't give my messenger out so quickly" and left it at that , but every once in while I point out it is bad manners when you've just had 1 too many emails like this...I would never email someone so quickly asking for messenger id so quickly...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Manners when asking for Messenger ID
Posted: 8/25/2009 9:44:05 PM
Cinsav, you can see the date i joined POF next to my picture here...I am not a newbie to the internet however it never ceases to amaze me that a guy will get rude with me because I wouldn't give out my Messenger ID....Always baffles me and is aggrivating especially since I didn't initiate the contact.

All my friends on dating serves do not hastily give out Messenger ID's so quickly. That is female and male friends...So when prior poster says "Most" people prefer this to email I have not found this to be the case...none of the people I've met hastily give messenger id's out...and it does not offend me at all...

NOTE TO ALL: Please pardon my typos above. I typed this thread a bit late and my fingers and brain not in sync tonight and I did not catch them in time to edit them.
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Manners when asking for Messenger ID
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:04:18 PM
Ok...I hope this may doesn't labeled as redundant topic, but just wanted to gather opinons about this situation...Not gonna name any names, but I got email from a guy today...First contact ...He said something to the effect...Do you got Messenger ID ? Let's Chat? Well for me my Messenger ID is reserved for people I know really well...If I gave out my Messenger ID to everyone that emailed me it would be so full I'd never keep anyone straight or be able to find anyone. Anyway, my response to the guy was that I didn't give out my Messenger ID on a first contact and usually I got to know someone REALLY well before doing that. I also made comment I thought it was bad manners to ask for it so quickly without knowing anything about me and first having conversation thru POF...afterall that's what the site is for...I do know alot of ladies I've met on dating sites and in real life that feel the same way I do about asking for messenger id up front so quickly...they feel that is personal information not priviledged to practically strangerst...Okay so after I told him I thought it was bad manners here was his reply

"get over yourself, you are no princess....just a person"

More bad manners...What did I do wrong to deserve a comment like this? Why do women have to put up with this stuff? You would think guys would wisen up and learn...I wrote him a letter to let him know I was doing him a favor by letting him know some people may consider it bad manners...why is the rude response necessary?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
last 5 forum posts.. gone.
Posted: 8/22/2009 5:55:50 PM
I missed the prior thread. Why have last 5 forum posts diseappeared? Also my favorites have disappeared...what's going on? Showing the last posts was a very quick way to go back to your latest threads and read discussion...now we have no quick way of finding them...Why suddenly gone?

And now my favorites gone...I feel so unloved already...they were handy...you know a rude persons not gonna have a lot of favorites...it was handy for that reason...Us girls gotta have some help to find good guys...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Is it really that odd to not have a pet?
Posted: 8/21/2009 3:58:57 PM
I don't have a pet either...I don't have the time and don't want the responsibility...I had a friend that visited a family member last week and had to leave early because the family member had 5 dogs that barked all night and they could not sleep...That's a lil much...It's better to not have a pet than to be toooo pet crazeee...I have friends that are literally tyed down with pets...they can't really leave town on spontaneous trip without making arrangements for their pets...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Strong and Logical Argument FOR The existence of Divine Beings
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:18:38 PM
I have had prayers instantly answered in my lifetime...specific prayers too...and I've also seen my guardian angel before...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
For a Laugh- What movie would you base your life on as of now?
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:22:34 AM
I would have to say "Something To Talk About" with Julia Roberts and Dennis Quaid...kinda reminds me of my divorce years ago wtih my sons dad...He had an affair and everyone in town knew about it but me...I live in small town...it was quite humiliating...My favorite part of the movie is when Julia Roberts stands up at the garden club meeting and gives few members piece of her mind...One lady from the garden club had said something snotty to her or something that upset her and she kinda lost it, but "put them in their place too" in the process... The comment that upset her may have been about her hubby sleeping around...

I've actually been in that situation before...I was at wedding with my ex years ago and had this girl that was friends of the groom(we were standing to the side) said..."your husband gave me a ride home from the bar the other night"...I held my cool and walked away...I could not loose my cool because it was a wedding and could not make a scene and ruin it...Later towards end of wedding I kinda made mention of it to my ex hubby in the parking lot when we were away from the crowd to let him know she said that to me...I honestly put it behind me then, but this always reminded me of that scene in the movie when Julia Roberts told the garden club ladies off...lol...I kinda laugh to myself and think maybe I should have done that sorta thing, but my marriage would have fallen apart sooner and my son was very young so we managed to stay together few more years... I always wondered why that girl got such a "kick" out of telling me that...I personally would never have done that to someone...She seemed to want to gauge my reaction...My instincts told me she wasn't doing it for good intentions...Her demeanor was kinda like...let's see what kinda trouble I can stir up tonight...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How much contact should one expect...
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:51:57 PM
Wow, good subject...look forward to hearing the answers here...

You know I've had relationships when I was younger that we communicated daily, but the older I get I tend to find it is harder to find men that are actually "capable" of communicating daily and I do appreciate the men in my past that were more capable of this now......Now that answer was just about communicating and not actually seeing them...My opinion of that follows below...

I really don't require daily commuincation....but it would seem if your serious with someone actually seeing them once a week wouldn't be out of the question...But in all honesty I think relationships can happen one level at a time...Prior to being on this serious level seeing them at least 2 times a month seems reasonable...I think relationships kinda go in levels sometimes...

I do like for a man to "stay in touch" during the process of getting to know one another better and trying to go to another level of dating even if I don't actually see them physically ...shooting the occasional emails or just a call to say hello gets a lot of brownie points with me...and shows he's thoughtful...

It is amazing though how many men will not do their "homework" these days in dating...too many guys are getting by with wayyyy too much bad manners in dating and not staying in touch etc...These fellows have got "issues" alotta times along the lines of communication issues which is a whole other subject and won't make it to the relationship level...Their communication issues actually stand in the way of possible relationships...I will repeat that is a whole other subject...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Is it fair to be friends with your ex?
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:06:17 PM
"But I have also seen the ones where it is more than friends; they are almost still "connected" to them (having the ex call constantly wanting help, wanting to vent about life in general, wanting them over for supper, where constant time, interaction; they are almost still in a fundamental support role; where the new person (if there is a new person) will always fall into a secondary role. It is almost like some guys with their mothers... when the ex calls they drop everything and go running; talk on an almost daily basis and have an integral, central part in their life still. This is something that has kind of a fine line; becaues in a way it is almost like they're really not broken up; and it could make a new person feel extraneous... they are not an ex; they are a "current" in everything but sleeping and living together (though some people even do that too, which is a whole different thread) :)"

Well put Moonbeamlover....I did not define it as well as you have here, but that is what I meant when I said "too chummy"...doesn't make sense to be so chummy when there is a whole world full of people to hang out and talk with...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Is it fair to be friends with your ex?
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:40:03 PM
I firmly believe if it makes your current partner uncomfortable then your ex should understand that...I think it is natural to not want your Significant Other to be "tooo chummy" with your ex....An intelligient and respectful ex would understand...

If the ex did not respect your current relationship or was of the "manipulative" nature then they may move in to be "chummy" without regard of how it makes the person in your current relationship feel(basically they may not care because they may be wanting to break the 2 of you up)...If you are the person allowing the ex to be too chummy and it bothers your current b/f or g/f then you may need to reevaluate your level of sensitivity to your ex's feelings...Do you place the feelings of your current partner in high regard? That's sorta like "playing games" if your aware that it bothers your current significant other...

So anyway my answer is "NO" don't think it is fair to be so chummy with them...very few people are mature and secure enough to pull that off...

I do agree with prior poster that ex's don't gotta be viewed as "Satan", but you don't gotta be too chummy with them...you can be friendly, cordial, make the necessary casual communication, but not to the point your current spouse is uncomfortable...You should be considerate of your current partner's feelings...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
What does the long gaze mean?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:19:13 PM
Is this like one of those silly "waiting" games to see who can hold out the longest to approach the other? Seriously give me a break...how do you usually get dates? You are 32 and seriously gotta ask this? You should seriously be thinking of a way to start a conversation with her...every dummy knows that a long gaze is a good sign...you seriously didn't know that or do you have such an ego you want to have others tell you this? Come on give me a break...I hope you two are not the type that when the pursuit is over your on to the next big thing and ditch one another and start staring at someone else....pardon me while I find something else to do...this has got ego and immaturity written all over it...

I agree with malibujay...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:13:05 AM
Is this a troll thread? Because this just can't be real...I doubt many people could relate to this situation to be able to tell ya what to do...Maybe you could tell her she should become a nun? Other than that your on your own pal...seriously....no answers here for that situation...Personally if you guys love each other you should have gotten married already...that's entirely too long to wait...perhaps she should become a nun?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Women's Favorite/Least Favorite Conversation Topics
Posted: 8/19/2009 7:24:51 AM
Well, this is a "Loaded" Forum Thread no doubt and I don't have much to contribute except that I am actually out of the norm, because I find those topics "boring" to be honest...Believe it or not I'd be more prone to discuss Religion or Politics than to discuss Hopes and Aspirations when I first meet someone...that's too mushy for me until I know someone really well...I'm sure you guys that have all the ladies "Generalized" won't believe that, but I don't really care because my actions speak louder than my words and I don't gotta prove myself to anyone... I've read the posts by men here that "Generalize" women to all be the same...I have a high or at least above average IQ that allows me to be able to identify a persons unique characteristics, but unfortunately alot of people don't and are not able to do that therefore they Generalize alot...and that is okay...

And by the way Hopes and Aspirations is secret code for finding out if your looking for relationship or not for some ladies not just for finding out your career ambitions...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
why does he keeps talking about past relatinships?
Posted: 8/18/2009 3:44:59 PM
I know you said that you asked him WHY he did this and he got angry...try a different approach..tell him how it makes you feel when he talks about the past relationships. If he doesn't try to improve then it could be for the followoing reasons...

1. He has not healed from his relationships and needs to talk about them to heal, no one would blame you if your not willing to do this...if he hasn't healed then he cannot stop bringing this up...

2. If he doesn't improve, that is being inconsiderate of your feelings and that isn't good...

3. Possible he is having self esteem issues so he feels the need to bring up prior relationships?

I really don't know what the answer is here, but good luck..the choice is yours...you can leave now or maybe choose to help him talk this out and help him heal, but that is always a risk...you never know what will be left after a person heals...the core person that remains is the person that you need to be able to be compatible with...Once you peel away the scares and get to the core...it's almost like starting over again and you don't know how the relationship will go really....
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:28:07 PM
I am a confident cook and know that not everyone has the same appetites. I wouldn't take it personal if someone didn't like my cooking. I would probably be disappointed, but wouldn't make a big deal over it.

I usually get to know someone really well before I cook for them anyway, so that I know their appetite. I would have already noticed if they like spicy foods, veggie person, meat and potato person etc... So I probably would not have this problem and would have picked a general meal that would suit any appetite.

If the shoe were on the other foot and someone cooked for me...The situation would probably be okay because I'm not that picky and finicky of an eater. I would probably get enough bites down that they would not notice that I did not like it. Then after the meal was over and the next day I would probably hint at doing another dish next time to spare their feelings...I would not have wanted to see them so dissappointed that evening so we could enjoy the rest of the evening...

P.S. I must admit that we all handle things differently and "MISS CONTEMPLATIVE" made a EXCELLENT point about the "swallowing" issue that just can't hardly be argued against....

P.S.S. And every good lady knows that the best recipes are stored for those fellows that offer to mend the fence etc...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 338 (view)
 
Why don't you age?
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:35:20 PM
Im 39...I get lots of rest (beauty sleep, beauty sleep, beauty sleep) and have had good supportive family to help me raise my son to keep me from being weary and worn...Also I haven't done as much tanning visits as some people...but good skin just runs in my mothers family...Sometimes it's just genetics...
 
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