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 Author Thread: Over 50 with younger kids?
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Over 50 with younger kids?
Posted: 5/9/2012 6:33:55 AM
I'm 53 with two children living with me. The eldest is 15 and the youngest is 10. Their birthdays are during the summer months. They see their father alternate weekends, a couple of times during the week and other times. I have had people say the kids are too young and they've "been there, done that" and not interested in going through it again.
Still a case of "go slow" and not rush into anything. You may meet someone sooner than later-- "Just" takes patience and a sense of humour. Enjoy your kids while you can, cause when they grow up and move out, more than likely, they won't be worrying about you (and you don't want that).
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Crossing borders with kids
Posted: 6/23/2011 10:08:23 AM
They plan on crossing the US-Canada border the first weekend of July. He wants me to agree to release the passports and supply documentation. I responded, "Sure, I need the following information from you to fill out the letter as recommended by Foreign Affairs Canada
http://www.voyage.gc.ca/preparation_information/consent-letter_lettre-consentement-eng.asp and I'd appreciate copies of travel insurance policy for the kids in case of accident.
He went on about how the "process" works (according to him):
1) I agree to release passports when he needs them (check)
2) He books vacation (no) etc and supplies information for consent letter (no)
3) He's considering my suggestion of giving me copies of travel insurance for the kids
4) I hand over passports and letter when they depart.
I agreed from the first email to release the passports when I have the information as recommended by Foreign Affairs and copy of travel insurance. He keeps going on that I haven't agreed because I'm "demanding" information.
He claims he'll tell the kids they can't go because I won't release the passports (which would be untrue). Why can't he just supply the information? I supply the same information to him when I go across the border with the kids.
For what it's worth, I have full custody.
What information do you exchange with your former spouse when s/he takes kid(s) across international borders?
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 68 (view)
 
It's the end of the world as we know it...REM
Posted: 5/21/2011 6:41:38 PM
Hmm... well, it's 9 :40 PM 21 May and nothing terrible has happened ...yet. 20 May -- just a regular day.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Canine heartworm treatment with an active outdoor dog
Posted: 1/29/2011 7:46:13 PM
Would you be willing to sedate him for the duration? Don't know how your vet would be with that idea (keeping a dog sedated for two months), but you could ask?
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
She Meows
Posted: 1/29/2011 7:36:21 PM
Bark back! If she's gonna be a cat, play her game on your terms and bark at her, growl when she does something you don't like. She's doing it to annoy you. She's succeeding. She's happy. So, treat her as she is treating you, but different. I'd choose a dog (cause dogs chase cats!), but be any animal you like!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 166 (view)
 
Could you exist today without a CELL phone????
Posted: 1/15/2011 11:41:17 AM
I exist quite happily without a cell. phone. When I'm driving about or enjoying a walk, there is no phone to distract me from whatever it is I'm enjoying. I used to have a cell phone, but didn't have much use for it, aside from keeping it for "emergency use".
I'd say your 9 and 11 year old are too young for cell phones and all the other technological gizmos. Let them use their own voices and imaginations for entertainment a while longer!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
The edge of space
Posted: 12/23/2010 12:57:30 PM
I imagine the edge of space (if such a place exists), would be the opposite of space, which is dark. Space would be dark and beyond space would be light and ... nothing.
It always baffles me when "experts" claim the universe exploded from the size of a grapefruit and is expanding at a colossally fast speed. Expanding into where? Or what? And how would it had been determined? Some things we can't know...the edge of space would be one of them (as well as how life started).
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
50% of women don't want children?
Posted: 10/23/2010 1:00:57 PM
We are somewhat limited in the choices for the profile on POF.
If a woman (or a man) says s/he doesn't want children, it might mean anyone of:
-I have kids already and don't want more
-I don't have kids and NEVER want to be a mother/father (if that's how s/he feels and s/he knows s/he isn't good parent material, then it's good that s/he knows her/himself well enough)
-I don't want kids now, but I might want to be a parent sometime in the future after I've met a good partner
-I physically am unable to have children (could be menopause for the older women)
The only way to find out for certain is to ask the other person. If the other person really doesn't want to be a parent ever and you do, then stay in the "friend" zone or move on. It's probably best for everyone.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 235 (view)
 
Can a White person be African American?
Posted: 10/15/2010 4:02:22 PM
O'bama is one of those Black Irish!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
How do you spot and avoid the emotional vampires?
Posted: 10/15/2010 3:51:10 PM
No idea -- I never saw or heard the expression 'til this post!
Since you seem to have a pretty good idea what they are like, once you realize they are as you identify them, I dunno, tell them you're not interested in pursuing a relationship and then do something very bizarre (but legal....I leave that to your imagination )
Okay, after reading all these posts, I think my ex is one (BPD). eeekkkk
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Strange hobbies/collections
Posted: 10/12/2010 11:24:17 AM
I don't collect anything unusual. I don't really collect anything at all anymore. However my eldest teen collects streetlights. There are a number of them in the basement. I didn't realize wasps, bees and birds made their homes in streetlights!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Brazilian Blowout (good? bad?)
Posted: 10/12/2010 11:13:07 AM
I heard on the news some people were losing their hair after having it done and there were some recalls. I didn't pay much attention though. Didn't sound like something I'd ever consider.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What does this mean???
Posted: 10/8/2010 11:32:13 AM
Depends on the person saying it.
Might mean exactly what she says -- she thinks you are interesting
Or... it might mean something different. Only time will tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Sorry I can't be any clearer than that!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How you stay organized in a small apartment?
Posted: 10/1/2010 11:31:30 AM
Step 1) Get rid of a lot of stuff. If you haven't used something in over a year, get rid of it. Sell it, give it away or throw it out. You'll be amazed how much space you've "suddenly" acquired!
Step 2) Have a place for everything and put everything in it's place. You can purchase all sorts of organizers for closets under your bed etc.
Step 3) Stop impulse buying. Think hard before you buy something. Do I really need it, or do I "just" want it? Save your money for less tangible "things" like travel or a gym membership (as examples)

From one who still needs to follow my own advice (it's a "work in progress" ! )
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Any of you still dress up for Halloween?
Posted: 10/1/2010 11:25:46 AM
I dress up as a witch when I accompany the young 'un(s) "Trick or Treating". It's easy to dress as a witch -- I have a dark green cape and a witches hat. My hair is long. Not very original I know, but you did ask!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
What Does A Long Term Relationship Mean To You??
Posted: 9/21/2010 11:45:41 AM
An LTR is a relationship that lasts "a while". I suppose even any type of friendship could be considered LTR.
As for marriage -- been there, done that and not eager to go down that path again, if ever. Living with somebody? Possibly -- a definite maybe.
Committment? As in an exclusive sexual relationship? I think many people would like that.
Definitely as clear as mud! My definitions depend on the person I'm seeing/relating with!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Physical Attraction when seeking a lover
Posted: 9/21/2010 11:39:50 AM
I'm sure you'll meet someone sooner or later. One of my uncles didn't get married until he was in his sixties. Before then he didn't have any sort of relationship with anyone. He and his wife are very happily married.
Meantime, those "hypocrites" just want to see you happy and settled, or suffering just as much as they do!
Yes, physical attraction to your eyes IS important, however you define it. Good Luck!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Since when is 50 a senior?
Posted: 9/21/2010 5:56:43 AM
I've noticed more recently that people over 50 years are considered "seniors" in some circles. I don't consider myself a senior at 51 years! Perhaps the "seniors" label wouldn't be so bad if it came with a senior's discount!
Have others over 50 noticed this? Do you mind?
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is it traditional to ask a man what his salary is...
Posted: 8/27/2010 1:00:45 PM
If it's a tradition, I hadn't heard of it til now! I'd say the only time when it's appropriate to ask how much someone's salary is (be male or female), is when the two people involved are talking seriously of living together. While dating, or even when in an exclusive/committed relationship (but not living together) the other person's income is none of your business.
Instead of leaning back with "are you serious" look of disgust, lean forward and become very interested in her income.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 174 (view)
 
How has withholding sex affected your relationships?
Posted: 8/26/2010 3:56:37 PM
When my ex-husband withheld sex for three years (though it was okay for him to receive oral sex) after our eldest child was born, it had very negative effects on the relationship. I believe he did it to teach me some sort of lesson which I never did figure out. Obviously his strategy (whatever it truly was) didn't work since we are divorced from each other (for over six years).
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 59 (view)
 
The 5 Languages of Love: Which Is You?
Posted: 8/26/2010 3:48:06 PM
Quality time
Physical touch (non-sexual)
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Gifts/Spending Money on

To me, "Quality time" includes verbal communication, being serious or frivolous (at different times, obviously!)
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Other gemstones as Engagement rings...?
Posted: 8/26/2010 3:26:22 PM
While I think your idea is nice, I'd personally like a stone the colour of his eyes so whenever I look at the ring I am reminded of his eyes.... Though that could be difficult if his eyes are brown! Not that I'm anticipating an engagement ring any time (didn't receive one when I was married the first time and it didn't bother me)
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Advice to a newbie ....
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:53:28 PM
There are some really nice people here
There are also some people who'll be a bit too intense
On the forums, ah the forums! Even quiet mousey people can roar like a lion here!
Rating pictures is fun -- judging pictures -- don't like to see parents with their children? delete -- Suggestive pictures (male or female)? delete -- Naughty bits (only seen them a couple of times)? delete...
After the novelty wears off, you return less often, but to increase your chances of meeting people, log in every day and look at profiles.
And the pictures are fun to add, even when you don't know what it really means!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 117 (view)
 
over 45 men and marriage???
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:23:28 PM
I'm over 45 and I have little interest in being married again. Like you I'd enjoy some loving tenderness, like that when in a long-term relationship, but I don't have to live with the man to receive it... That might be nice sometime in the future, but I've been married once and there isn't really any reason for me to be married again. I'm not having anymore children and being married didn't help the kids have family security anyway (he wanted out).
If the expression is "Why buy the cow when you get milk for free?" for the gents, perhaps it could be "Why pay the stud fee when it's free?" for the ladies?
I can understand why some people are a bit shy of marriage again -- generally, men pay child support (for their children) and women receive it (on behalf of their children).
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:05:25 PM
If by dating, you mean meeting people and spending time with them in a non-intimate (non-sexual) way, then it's acceptable if the person is comfortable with doing that.
Pros: You meet more people which could be more invigorating
Cons: Might be time-challenging to arrange meetings with different people and might feel guilty, like you're a "player", but if you're honest with the person upfront you aren't.
If you do meet someone "special" from dating, and you want to enter into a relationship that's always an option if both people are interested.
Nothing wrong with it as long as both are okay with it.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Teaching Children How To Care For Pets
Posted: 8/19/2010 12:46:01 PM
IF either of my kids rolled the hamster down the stairs intentionally or not (and how would I know?), I don't think I'd be afraid of hurting their feelings.
I'd ask them, "Do you want the hamster to die? Holly was lucky this time, but next time doing that might kill her or hurt her so bad that she has to be humanely killed. So DON'T do it again!!!!"
I think many people would've yelled at them in similar circumstances. After reading further, I think you did fine. If they were a bit upset afterwards, then it's all good -- we learn from our mistakes and if they seemed remorseful then they learned a lesson. Holly won't be in his/her hamster ball close to stairs anymore!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Should men lie about their relationship history to appear acceptable?
Posted: 8/16/2010 5:06:47 PM
Lying is never the best course of action. Even if it's the only thing you lied about, once she finds out (and she WILL find out sooner or later) she'll wonder what else you lied to her about. Honesty is the best policy. Many people (men and women, young and old) lie to get what they want or have other reasons.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 2518 (view)
 
Does God exist?
Posted: 8/16/2010 4:55:17 PM
If you believe in the existence of God, then God exists. Nobody really knows. Where is God and Satan (the fallen angel)? If you believe in them, they are everywhere. Heaven (and Hell, for you can't believe in one without the other) is here, where us humans are.

Once we die, our soul (that electrical energy that keeps those chemical reactions happening) becomes different and becomes part of the universal energy. Since energy never "dies", it just changes, so our soul changes into a different form.

Don't find it scary, merely different and in no hurry to get there!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
The vast majority of people have no idea what is happening ...
Posted: 8/16/2010 4:41:31 PM
Eh? You want to be optimistic but can't be due to the world economy?

The economy is a human creation -- it doesn't really mean anything, yet controls our lives. It would be great to live in a climate where we didn't require heating during the winter months just to live (though it can become unpleasant in the UK) and be sustainable. We bury our farmland under houses which are bought by people from other countries who don't work at their profession (as many claim) while present citizens can't find employment.

You're born, life is good for a while, then it starts to go downhill (though there are good and happy times) -- well, you know, that's life!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Question about water
Posted: 8/16/2010 4:23:46 PM
Why is water wet? We know water is wet, but why is it wet? Are all liquids wet, or just the ones that contain a lot of water? I didn't see this topic on any other forum after checking and I hope this is long enough now.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Divorce timelines..
Posted: 5/24/2010 1:37:36 PM
Depends where you are and how "bogged down" the court is. After it goes before a Judge, it's another month before it's official.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Having Kids Is Selfish
Posted: 5/12/2010 12:03:57 PM
I'm grateful my parents were selfish, otherwise I and my brothers would not exist. I'm fairly certain my kids appreciate my selfishness, otherwise they wouldn't exist either.

Some child-free couples and singles believe it's selfish to have children. Some parents think it's selfish to NOT have children. Either way, somebody will think you're selfish...
:-D
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
If you could get duel citizenship...where and why?
Posted: 5/7/2010 11:41:43 AM
I am a citizen of the UK and Ireland by birth and acquired Canadian citizenship in 1967.

With an Irish passport, I could work anywhere in the EC.
With a British passport, more options would be available (if I choose to follow them).
With a Canadian passport, I can live and work anywhere in Canada.

But if I had to choose one, I'd choose Canada. It's where I live.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
do most women simply respond vs search and pursue?
Posted: 4/23/2010 11:49:36 AM
Honestly? Who defines "good looking women"? Who "trains" women?
Do most women wait for men to make the first contact, rather than actively search for the perfect man? I have no idea. I will state this, "I will meet men when they contact me first. When I contact them, there is no meeting". Don't know how that fits with your theory, but perhaps I'm not a "good looking woman".
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 181 (view)
 
Canada child support law for non-bio parents: different points of view
Posted: 4/23/2010 11:25:18 AM
Message 183 (CS): "Behind each baby there is a man and a woman who had sex."
Not true in all situations -- some women go to a sperm bank and have a baby through AI (artificial insemination). The baby and the mother never meet the biological father (sperm donor).

BUT, if the mother meets a man and the three live together as a family, then the man should have the same rights and obligations as though he were the biological father, for the best interests of the child.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Schools vice principals and schools principals ?.
Posted: 4/23/2010 10:58:58 AM
As far as I know, a teacher applies for the position of vice-principal. Once they've been vice-principal for a certain amount of time, they can apply to become a principal (according to the principals and vice-principals I've talked to -- 3 principals, 2 men and 1 female and 1 female vice-principal).

But the individual has to be interested in moving up the ranks. Many teachers don't want the responsibilities of being vice-principal/principal. I wouldn't expect any corruption, but teachers, vice-principals, principals and superintendents are people just like us, so a few could have questionable motives.

But if curious, check the "Careers" of any Board of Education and see what qualities they are seeking for in a vice-principal or a principal.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
defending themselves/bullying.
Posted: 4/23/2010 10:43:52 AM
Good for her!
Sometimes the only way to "deal" with a bully is by hitting back. All the talk in the world does nothing, but hit 'em back hard, then they'll leave you alone. That's been my experience throughout life anyway.
It's unfortunate that the one being bullied is punished by the school for defending themself, but that seems to be the way it is now.
Glad you didn't punish her any further.

As for: "Apparently that girl and a few other girl were hitting my daughter on a regular basis but she wasn't clear how or when they were hitting her, altho I don't think it was done with mallice just 'kids been kids' .. So this was her excuse/ reason.." It probably WAS done with malice! Kids can/are mean/cruel to each other! And bullying happens in the work-place too between adults!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Get her off my back!
Posted: 4/23/2010 9:41:55 AM
Response to Message 46:
Okay, so they had split and are now together. Takes two to keep a relationship alive and it does seem like there is a lot of drama going on. Seems to me, she still has very strong feelings for him. Yes, she seems controlling (and she's probably terrified of the future -- doesn't want to be left alone with "the kid"). So they don't "fight fair".

I think couples/marriage (even if they aren't married) counselling would be in order -- they help guide couples how to "discuss" different opinions etc. (how to "fight fair", if you like). She's a bit hysterical because she's scared and there are probably lots of other emotions going on. You don't have the whole story.

IF your friend decides to terminate the relationship with his sons' mother, they need to do it as amicably as possible (which from what you describe, probably won't be pretty). They both have rights and obligations to the child. He deserves to have both parents involved in his life.

I hope your friend and the mother of their child can get their act together for the sake of their child. Be a supportive friend and help him make the decisions that are best for their child.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Get her off my back!
Posted: 4/23/2010 9:25:53 AM
Not enough information to really give any advice.
Your friend and the mother of their child have broken up, but he won't cheat on her...? Are they a couple or not?
If not, is he helping raise the child they brought into the world together? If he isn't, could that be why she is "psycho obsessive"?
If they are still a couple, I'd advise them to seek couple counselling -- they owe that to each other and the child.
Telling someone to "Get rid of her" doesn't seem like useful advice to me. Seems vaguely threatening and sinister...
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
woman not getting child-support. What can she do?? Any free advocacy groups around?
Posted: 4/23/2010 9:17:22 AM
If there's no agreement or court order, she can't apply to FRO. They seek payment per the agreement filed with the court or the court order. FRO won't become involved until that condition is met.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 273 (view)
 
HELP!!! Top 10 most aggressive dogs?????
Posted: 4/22/2010 9:02:44 AM
Cross-breeds can be unpredictable, depending on their breeding (GSD X Rottie/Dobe as an EX.) -- one pup from the litter may have inherited all the guarding/attack genes while a littermate is extremely gentle and inherited none of the behaviour that makes a guard dog.

Quite often a dog that bites and/or attacks is actually a cross-breed, but it's considered to be the breed that it looks most like. Lots of people can't tell dog breeds apart. Yeah sure a chihuahua from a doberman is fairly obvious, but how many people know a German Shepherd from a German Shepherd X -- sometimes the experts can't tell the difference! Oftentimes, it isn't the breed of the animal but the socialization hasn't been what it should be. So, who knows really?
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
woman not getting child-support. What can she do?? Any free advocacy groups around?
Posted: 4/22/2010 8:42:41 AM
Can't think of any free women's advocacy groups that could help.

If she can't afford a lawyer and doesn't qualify for Legal Aid (and that's getting more difficult), then she has to represent herself in court. FLIC (Family Law Information Centre) can help advise her on what forms to fill out and commission documents etc., but are limited by what they can do if she doesn't qualify for Legal Aid.

If the two already have an agreement, she could file the agreement with the court and apply for help from FRO. If the agreement has already been filed with court or it's a court order she has, then she apply for FRO directly (though it will take about three months before the case is opened (due to the back-log).

"This would have all been taken care of during the divorce proceedings and child support would have been calculated and awarded at that time. If he didn't pay, then the government would have garnisheed his wages."
His wages would only be garnisheed if there is a case with FRO (Family Responsibility Office). If she didn't register, wages wouldn't be garnisheed.

Going through court is complex, but not impossible. Paralegals don't do family law. The links listed above by candid 1 are good places to start. If parents don't agree, the court is there to make an unbiased decision (all right, I'm sure there are some hackles going up now!), but that's the theory anyway! :-D

There are too many variables and unanswered questions to give an answer. But your friend can find some answers for herself -- actually, a good place to get advice from others going through the same thing is the Separation and Divorce Forum of Today's Parent magazine. Good Luck for your friend -- it's a long road!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 107 (view)
 
welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas.
Posted: 4/21/2010 7:25:32 AM
Re Message # 68, bitterseewtkiss:
That's great IF you qualify for Ontario Works! I could certainly use any assistance to re-enter the work-force, but I don't qualify. There is no help for me and my family from Ontario Works and I'm sure there are other families in similar situations who could benefit from a hand-up (not a hand-out).
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 106 (view)
 
welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas.
Posted: 4/21/2010 7:05:05 AM
Welfare aka Social Assistance aka Ontario Works in (naturally!) Ontario, Canada.

Parent(s) can collect CCTB (Child Tax Benefit) a monthly amount which varies depending on income, number (and ages) of child(ren). For working parents there is also Child Care Benefit (to help with child-care costs, whether or not they are spent that way and I forget what it's full name is -- all the tax credit names sound similar!) which stops when the child turns 6 (as I recollect -- could be wrong there) and there is Universal Child Care which is $100/month and stops when child turns 6.

None of the above are welfare. To collect social assistance certain conditions need to be met (I don't meet those qualifications) and the amount a person/family receives depends on several variables, one of which is location. Even if I did qualify for social assistance I would receive less than $400/month for myself and two children under 16. Which certainly isn't enough to make it attractive to "sit around in the house all day doing nothing".

If people need financial help through the rough times, I think it's great to have a security net to help. I read that there are people who abuse the system, but I also think it's unfair to paint all welfare recipients with the same brush. There are numerous more families struggling financially who don't qualify for financial assistance.

Now I'm getting on a roll here -- I find it disheartening that in the area I live there are many kinds of social programs for groups of people to enter (re-enter) the work force (recent immigrants to Canada, people who don't speak one of Canada's official languages, people who can't find employment in the profession they had in another country, young people just out of school, people collecting UI etc.), but absolutely none for people like me -- middle aged, educated, but been a "stay-at-home" parent til the youngest was in school "full-time". I'm older, so the younger ones doing the hiring (probably in their thirties), won't consider an older person. I've got plenty to offer in the way of being a good employee.

AS for a fairer system, I don't know. To change the system costs money and taxpayers don't want to spend more money to "fix" the system. They just like to complain about all the "free-loaders" (of which I think there are few).
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Canada child support law for non-bio parents: different points of view
Posted: 4/14/2010 9:47:51 AM
I believe somebody who is a step-parent would be involved with a bio-parent a bit more than as boy/girlfriend (which to me suggests friendship/dating but not necessarily a marriage-like relationship).

"If the step-parent breaks up with the primary caregiver, and he/she has to pay child support, this also means that he/she is entitled to see the child legally, and act as a legal parent (like an adoption). It means the primary caregiver cannot prevent the step-parent from continuing to be present in the child's life (absent of abuse of course). "

If the step-parent and the bio-parent break-up and the child(ren) do not have the other bio-parent in their life, then I agree, the step-parent is entitled to have access and is legally responsible for child-support etc. just as though the step-parent is a bio-parent.

Step-parent means substitute parent (i.e. replacing a missing parent). To me "step-parent" does not mean one parents intimate friend/partner. To me, second spouses are not step-parents if both bio-parents are involved in the child(ren)'s life.

So, if a woman has a baby and the father of the baby is nowhere to be seen, then he has abandoned his child. The mother meets another man and that man becomes a step-father do the child -- ten years later, mother and step-father break up. Yes, the step-father should have access and be responsible for child support. He has been a father to the child -- not a biological father, but a step-father.

To me that is a very different scenario to the mother and a man dating and being friendly for a couple of years and not living together etc. If the man does not become like a father to the child(ren), how can he be held accountable for the child(ren)'s well-being after he and the mother split?
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
A 3rd date rule applies?!?!
Posted: 4/14/2010 9:27:23 AM
Where's the rule that sex on or by the 3rd date is a MUST? That "rule" does not exist.

If a woman is interested in having sexual relations with a man and the man is interested in having sexual relations with that woman, they tell the other what they are feeling and act on the feeling (or not).

If one feels "it's too early", then it's too soon. For some it happens the first date, for some the twenty-first date. There is no number when to become intimate with someone.

The "rule" for having sex the first time: The couple become intimate when it's right for both of them and they take precautions.

How do you know when it's right? The couple discuss their feelings and don't put pressure on the other.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Why do the welsh and english hate each other?
Posted: 4/14/2010 8:42:56 AM
Yer Royal Majesty (Message 19):
Ah, the Celts -- where to start on the Celts?! :-D One of my "pet topics"!

They were not a race (comprised of many races) and yes, there were more than one tribe. The oldest archeological dig identified as being Celtic was located in Hallstatt, Germany (unless older ones have been discovered more recently, which is possible) where they mined salt.

The Celts were spread over continental Europe but didn't stand much of a chance against the Romans. The Celts argued too much amongst each other, ya see. But they did influence European history and culture, though there may not be much evidence of it now. After the Roman empire rolled over Europe, Celts were relatively left alone in Ireland, Scotland and Wales. Though Cornwall, Galicia, Brittany and parts of (northern) Portugal and Spain still claim to have a strong Celtic element. And the Celts did manage to almost conquer Rome on one occasion.

Being Celtic was more of a way of life -- while they were mostly caucasian, they did use slaves and some Celts were of races other than caucasian. Could write tons more on the topic of Celts, but there are many books available to read! There is a bit of the Celt still remaining in the English, though more diluted with the Romans and Angles, Saxons and Norman blood though not as much as for the Irish, Scottish, Welsh and Cornish! The Irish have a Viking influence, as do the Scots and Welsh. No such thing as "pure Celts" (or pure Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English, Manx etc.) -- To be from the British Isles, the people are essentially the same, genetically speaking (European mutts), as are the people from Europe. And yes, I include meself in that category -- bred and born in Ireland for all our traceable family history (back to mid/early 1700's in a couple of branches from native and non-native Irish stock, including Scottish planters and Welsh miners), raised in Canada.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Why do the welsh and english hate each other?
Posted: 4/14/2010 8:32:26 AM
DNA might explain some of it -- I think all the Irish, Scots, Welsh and Cornish are programmed to "hate the English". Even some of the English (as in the traditional "Anglo-Saxon-Norman" English -- hmmm Angles and Saxons from what now is considered to be part of Germany and Normans from an area in France....) disagree as to who is really English.

You'll notice the same attitude between England and Scotland and not so much between England and Cornwall, and between England and Ireland (good thing some water separates them!)...

'Tis mostly in the history between the nations. And grudges being passed on from one generation to the next (Celtic obstinancy).
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Post Divorce Last Names
Posted: 4/12/2010 10:52:00 AM
I still use my ex-husband's surname and we've been divorced just over six years.

I continue to use my ex-husband's last name because it's the same last name as the children we have together. When I go to the school, the staff still refer to me as Mrs. (even though I advised them once that I'm divorced).

Guess I'm odd, or perhaps just plain lazy! When the youngest is old enough I may revert back to my maiden name when my driver's licence is due for renewal, or maybe not-- we shall see with time!
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
what the heck is happiness?
Posted: 4/8/2010 10:49:12 AM
Happiness is what you make it. Happiness is evasive when pursued. But when you merely enjoy your life, you'll realize that you are happy (for the moment). Happiness is fleeting. You can't make someone else happy, nor can someone else make you happy. You are either happy or not happy (which doesn't necessarily mean unhappy).

If "...some men can be total a-holes 24/7, what if they are my total happiness and thats where it lies within?", then you might have some self-esteem issues. If someone treats you bad, why hang around and let them?

"I'm so tired of being that friend and wish someone could give me that extra confidence of making me feel wanted by them." Be your best friend first, then the rest may follow (in time). 'Til then,
 
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