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 Author Thread: Trophy Wives???
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Trophy Wives???
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:40:04 AM
This thread is just stupid. Um, maybe those guys are simply marrying women that they find attractive and like to have sex with. Is there something wrong with that? Maybe you think they should marry women who they aren't attracted to? The term 'trophy wife' assumes the man is marrying her for the purpose of having her as an aquisition to be displayed. I don't know any guy who would do that and then be stuck with. Do you? I don't know any men who use the term trophy wife. Women tend to use it to denigrate a younger prettier woman who marries a middle aged guy who isn't 'politically correctly' remarrying a middle aged woman.
There's nothing new with rich, powerful men marrying younger, beautiful women. Women have throughout the ages been attracted to successful, powerful men, age not being all that important. I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.
The women who date and marry rich guys aren't being duped into anything, they know very well what they are doing. I can't believe you're so naive. It's more likely the reverse; rich guys are duped into marrying young beautiful women who often are looking for half the assests down the road. And they get involved in whatever interests they want because they don't have to work anymore.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What is your greatest achievment and why
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:28:21 AM
Never really though about it much; it's not any one thing. But working in an emergency room makes me part of a team that frequently brings people back from the edge of death, and, knowing that failure will cost that person his or her life, the stress not to waste even a second can be terrible. So even though there's no award or recognition for that kind of thing, when I look back on my life I can know we've made a huge difference for many people, even though they'll never know who we are. Whether it's an achievement or not, we rarely know. We can't tell if the person we're saving will be the next Einstein or the next Hitler. All we know is that person gets to live instead of die, and that their family will (usually) be very happy to have them around. And that knowledge is enough compensation for everyone I've worked with over the years.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do most women look at a man differently
Posted: 3/20/2007 2:22:41 AM
I went to Arthur Murray dancing school after seeing how many women like to dance. Then, found out that not all do; my ex didn't. Did I waste my time learning? I don't think so. So. Take your pick. But there will always be weddings and such, where you're expected to make at least a token appearance on the dance floor. Just because you know how, doesn't mean you have to do it all the time.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 206 (view)
 
Over 45 men wanting athletic women???
Posted: 3/16/2007 4:50:21 PM
Arugula; so you're saying there aren't any attractive, fit women who date rich fat guys? Really. Maybe you don't see any, but I sure do. Then again, I live near NYC. Lots of guys with lots of money. Maybe they only attract the gold diggers. But they're still women, right? So, fat rich guys do get hot women. No, they don't get to choose between ALL hot women, but there are always some.

And please stop attempting to read between the lines (I know, women are always wondering what a guy 'really means' by things, but we usually are quite literal). I didn't write anything even remotely about a woman's fiscal responsibility or lack of. Are you seeing something I'm not? I wrote that men don't really care how much money a woman makes; she can be flipping burgers at McDonalds or managing GM; doesn't really make a difference, as long as we're attracted to her. I didn't say we don't care if she works at all or if she spends us into deep debt.

And should we really start planning for the divorce before we even meet someone? Forget about whether we're attracted to someone or not, just make sure we don't leave ourselves financially vulnerable? Wow. No wonder there are so many people still single.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why can guys not see the big picture and know patience has its reward?
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:54:44 AM
My guess is that at some point, the guy has had some type of positive feedback when approaching a woman and just suggesting they make out or have sex. Might have been with a drunk chick at a rave, or maybe someone who's SO cheated on her and she just wanted to get back at him, I don't know. But there are women out there who will have sex very soon after meeting a guy. Some men know this, and are just working the odds. If they ask enough women, eventually they'll find that ONE that's looking for sex.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why should the men get it?
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:49:39 AM
I vote for the blatant. I think mostother men will as well.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 202 (view)
 
Over 45 men wanting athletic women???
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:32:14 AM
This is just a hidden BBW thread, and should have been stopped before it grew into the monster that it is.

We don't get to choose what turns us on, and what turns us off. If we did, I'd choose short fat ugly hairy women with B.O., bad teeth, bad breath, and rat's nest hair. I'd be having sex all day, every day. But as above, we don't get to choose. So stop faulting us for what turns us on. We didn't choose it.

We do, however, get to choose who we will have a sexual relationship with. What sense would it make to pursue women who turn us off sexually? I know, I know, women like to believe 'love conquers all'. And too many men maintain that they can get it up for anyone, any time. But reality is different. What they really mean, is, they can get it up for anyone THAT THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO anywhere, any time. It's two different things.

Athletic body types, yes, too vague. Sumo wrestlers are athletes, usually in very good shape too. That makes theirs an athletic build. But I seriously doubt anyone would agree with that idea.

On the other hand, thin would be a better description if you want skinny people, which I do. Me, I don't care much for curves, huge boobs actually turn me off. Rail thin is fine with me, as are AA cups (She doesn't even have to be all that pretty. My ex certainly wasn't a beauty pageant queen). But for some reason, fat women dislike me for this.

I see this concept over and over; "If a man can't see past a few curves to see a beautiful, smart, fun, caring person - then it's his loss." Sure, we can see the beautiful, smart, fun caring person. Doesn't mean you turn us on at all.

Love is one thing. Lust is another. Nice if both go together. For women, it's usually a requirement. For men, not so much. But if the body you own turns us off sexually, or very simply doesn't do anything to turn us on, and it would bother you to have us thinking about the playmate of the month while we're shagging, then we're never going to have sex. If that's alright with, you, then O.K.. Face it, most guys are turned on by the visuals, and can be turned off just as easily. Women, if you don't have a definable (read: much less than your hip size) waistline, you're very unlikely to attract a lot of men. Men, if you don't have a definable income, you're going to be very unlikely to attract a lot of women. Nothing's changed much.

"Being fit is a choice. Being fat is a choice. Fit or fat, take your pick"
Yeah, right. Like most people who are overweight woke up one day and thought to themselves, 'I'd really like to be obese', and then set about eating a case of twinkies a day to achieve their goal. Lots of things contribute to being overweight. Eating the wrong stuff is primary. But people are influenced by the so called experts, and follow what they're told. The move away from a protien based diet to carbohydrates may be part of it. 'Part of a well balanced diet' you hear over and over again. So people eat the product. And every other product that is 'part of a well balanced diet', so they are 'balanced'. People really believe that low fat is the way to go. But it's not working. We're getting fatter eating all that low fat stuff. The food pyramid keeps changing, and now we have the most overweight society on earth. Somebody's doing something wrong.

Bottom line: look for someone that turns you on, that you get along with. Those two things go a long way. Be results oriented; if the opposite sex (or same sex, nothing wrong with that) isn't pounding down your door, perhaps you should change something, and it's not always the 'easy' thing that you are going to have to change.

Women, most guys like physically attractive bodies, so you might have to give up the snacks, or even the parts of your diet that you may consider 'normal' but are in reality making you fat. Men, you may have to work on making enough cash to afford a decent lifestyle, and/or learn to be a little nicer or more charming.

Why don't I focus on telling men to lose weight too? Because there are plenty of women who will date fat guys if we make enough money and are nice to you. That's why. And no, it doesn't seem to work the other way around. Sorry. Women are just all too often more concerned about a man's 'provider' qualities, and men don't really care at all how much money a woman makes. It may not be fair, but life usually isn't.

JMHO.
nightfly
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Are all prostitutes the same?
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:33:00 AM
They're not the same any more than every doctor or lawyer is the same. Some do it because they like it, some do it for the power they feel, some do it for the money, some do it because they were told they should. Gee, when I was a kid, my dad told me to find something I liked to do and then find a way to get paid for it. Isn't that what 'working girls' are doing? So, what's the difference between me working in an emergency room, and them working in a hotel room? And, they get to be off their feet more than I do. Another plus. Not to mention, for unskilled labor (although it really IS a skill I guess) a women with no education beyond high school has very few other options to make a decent living. Minimum wage doesn't cut it in america, unless you like living in the back of an old car.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 9 (view)
 
When is the right time?
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:47:58 AM
You won't know until it happens. Don't shut yourself down while you 'heal'; you never know when the right person will appear in your life. Might take a few minutes, might take a few years. But when a really nice person expresses interest, you'll suddenly feel 'ready' to date again. Hang in there.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 6 (view)
 
age difference
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:40:08 AM
Actually, I've found it refreshing to be around people quite a bit younger than myself. They're more likely to be interested in going out than hanging around the house on their days off. I think too many people try to 'act their age', and become whatever they think is appropriate for whatever their chronological age is. Sadly, most people my own age are married or divorced, and are through with the adventures of discovering new places to go and new things to do. It's like they just think, 'been there, done that', and forget that it's 20 years later, just maybe things have changed a little. Or just maybe, it'll be different this time because we're with different people.

Date who you want. Finding that one special person is difficult enough without avoiding nice people just because it might screw things up later; now THAT'S sure acting old. Take a leap of faith. If you are mature, then if things don't work out, you'll still be able to handle seeing each other (not that it will always be easy, but you WILL be able to deal with it).

Go for it.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Do you think fate will bring that person into your life?
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:10:07 AM
No. Maybe it's easier for a woman to believe in that stuff; if you're attractive, men WILL find you and pursue you. But women rarely actively pursue a guy to the point where you actually make positive concrete communication with us so we know you're interested. The vast majority of you just use 'non verbal' hints, gestures and such to try to communicate that you're interested in a guy, and we just don't see subtle things like that, no matter how much you wish we will. So for a guy waiting for 'fate' to intervene, it's going to be a long, lonely wait.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:59:36 AM
I don't know; my mom's a terror. Lies, manipulative, prejudiced, hateful, talks behind your back. Drives everyone away. I avoid going over there other than for holidays. No one blames me.

I'd say what I read on a singles article many years ago. Watch how someone treats others who an do nothing for them; servers, laborers, bartenders, people who they don't have to treat nicely. All too often, people make the mistake of judging someone who is already trying to impress them, which gives a false reading. Watch how they treat the 'help'. That's how they will eventually treat you. And everyone else.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 11 (view)
 
question for the ladies
Posted: 3/11/2007 4:55:01 PM
Astreaa, it's women like you that make men so cautious, and why we won't 'commit' quickly. We don't want to get 'hooked' by someone like you. Heaven forbid we don't live up to your expectations.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 284 (view)
 
The Sex Mistake
Posted: 3/11/2007 4:46:59 PM
Ah. I see. Amy Waterman. She seems kind of like the woman's equivelent of Dave DeAngelo. All opinion, some right, some way off target. Interesting stuff, but take it all with a grain of salt, not as 'fact'. The real facts are there are no hard and fast rules that can apply to everyone, and every relationship out there. You will find plenty of mature men and women who can handle sex early in a relationship, and you will also find some poor folks that screw up their relationships every time no matter how long they wait. Use common sense. If you use someone else's guidelines, sooner or later you're going to make a mistake in your own life because of their lack of knowledge in your particular case.

What attracts men and women to each other, and how long they will remain attracted and committed to each other will depend on only those two people, not other people's experiences. What works for Amy Waterman might not work for you. Even the web site you directed me to words things like a pharmaceutical ad;

"But you may not get what matters most ... a chance at attracting his heart".

Then again, you might. She doesn't really know. She's just using hot words to get your attention.

Like John Gray, her articles and web site is an advertisement to sell things. Let the buyer beware.

That said, I've never had sex very early in a relationship. Would it have changed the way I felt about the women I was involved with? I don't think so. But that's just me.

JMHO.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 282 (view)
 
The Sex Mistake
Posted: 3/11/2007 3:23:45 PM
O.K., forgive me for not reading the 12 pages of posts yet until I know: Where was the original article quoted in the beginning of this thread from? I googled the text and found nothing.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 15 (view)
 
DOMENSTIC VIOLENCE, what is it
Posted: 3/11/2007 4:07:29 AM
Actually, I've used that line or worded something very close to it at work, and the people around me always bust up laughing. Maybe it's the dark side of e.r. humor. Sorry if I offended you. Besides, it's misspelled, or the op is implying that it's a male problem. Do MEN stic violence??? Hey, I do get to make fun of that. Come on!
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Women in short skirts and heels
Posted: 3/11/2007 3:54:27 AM
McShorty, what do you consider appropriate sexy clothes for a man on a first meet? I usually wear 'standard man attire' for a 50 year old; blue or black blazer, grey slacks, black belt and dress shoes, dress shirt one of the following pale blue/white/pale yellow/red/lavender (don't have the complexion to wear green, I don't think), never sure whether to wear a tie so I do, gold seiko watch with leather alligator band. I think an armani suit might be over the top, and nike warm ups would be inappropriate. What would you suggest?
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 6 (view)
 
difference between flirting and genuine attraction...
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:50:44 PM
13keys, at our age many younger women are just going to be polite, friendly and respectful as long as we act the same. Still, there are books out there to help with interpreting body language, try leil lowndes 'undercover sex signals' (it's back in print on amazon). She and others have various titles available to learn how to display your interest in others as well, read, and turn the observation around and you can see how others are displaying their interest in you. I spent a lot of time reading all that, learning what I've been doing wrong over all these years, times when I was unsure and how that affected my 'presentation'. And yes, words are just words, and women use all kinds of non verbal 'gestures' to get their intentions known, that we usually just don't see at all (and then they get pissed off when we don't understand them). Oh, and the smelly, unkempt delivery guy just might be fantastic in the sack when he's 'cleaned up', and you just don't know it. Delivery can be a smelly, grundgy business (yeah, I did delivery a long time ago) and men who do that all day can get sweaty and dirty. Things are not always what they seem. Stick to how someone is relating to YOU, not the world around.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Women in short skirts and heels
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:31:51 PM
First off, I agree that if you can't 'carry it off', you shouldn't wear it. I mean, I don't wear speedos. Then again, if you've got it, flaunt it. There ARE women in their fifties and sixties that CAN carry off wearing tight, sexy fashions (yes, they might have had a lot of 'work' done by surgeons, but they paid for it, they get to display it. Cher's generation of entertainers is a good example). I don't find anything trashy about someone in good shape wearing the normal dresswear fashions from fredericks or any of those other sexy outfit catalogs for normal dayware. And as far as showing underwear, well some underwear is so glamorous and beautiful it's a waste of wearing it if you don't show a little of it. Skin is skin, and clothes are clothes. Face it, you show more at the beach than you ever will in your clothes; to be embarrased about it one place and not the other is rediculous. A brief glimpse of satin or nylon isn't going to give anyone a view of anything unless you intentionally pull it up tight into your you know what. And as far as worrying about guys who are always trying to get a peek up your skirt, well, they have no class anyway, so who gives a damn what they think about you.

Heels, I still don't understand those (I wear sneakers, so why shouldn't you, better for the feet, knees and back). But a little bit of a heel will change your gait too, maybe not just like a stiletto will, but it will so something. Don't wear anything that you can't walk around a bit in without getting sore feet. Save the rediculously high things for times when you won't be walking much. No guy can expect more. If you want to let a guy know on a first meet that you CAN wear those things without feeling insecure about it, then go ahead, again, as long as you don't have to walk around much. And if you've got great legs, hiding them in pants is really a waste of your assets. Men are visual creatures, and we always will be. And whether we say so or not, we appreciate beautiful women who are willing to make the world a more enjoyable place to live by letting us see that beauty instead of hiding behind a birka or something.

I know a lot of women that work out regularly to look good; don't be afraid to show off a bit what all that hard work has done for you. Be pretty, be sexy, and be proud.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How old is to old
Posted: 3/10/2007 6:26:43 PM
This is one of those areas where people just like to assume you're both going to live to the same identical ripe old age, stay together, and die at the same time. Life very rarely works out that way. The odds are hugely against it. And getting worse every day. And....as medical science advances, should you really avoid dating someone who is otherwise perfect to you just because they're the 'wrong' age? Ten years from now if someone finds a way to delay aging, you might find that you're looking at spending the next 500 years with the wrong person, and gave up the 'right' person because you didn't think 30 years was enough to be with them. Looking back, three good years with the right person was way better than the ten with the wrong one. What memories do I fondly remember? The three good years. Think about that.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 6 (view)
 
American Depression
Posted: 3/10/2007 2:01:16 PM
Wow, what a variety of opinions, so I'll add mine. Depression comes from great expectations, especially having such an inflated ego that one might think their existance is so important to others. If you think that you're just oh so wonderful that others should do things just to make you happy, you're going to have a tough life. And yet I see exactly that every day. And too many people believe the advertising they see; they watch a commercial, see someone who appears happy, and then hear, 'ask your doctor if flomax is right for you!'. I've actually had female patients ask if it would help them (flomax is a pill for men with prostate disorders). People want stuff even when they don't even know what it is, and are unhappy when they don't get it. Maybe stupidity has something to do with depression?

Now, as far as religion is concerned, there are too many inconsistancies in all organized religions for them to be correct. When I point them out to the true believers, they just make excuses for their 'god' (infants and young children burned alive? 'Oh, they're being punished for their parents deeds', or 'Oh, that's Satan's doing', or some other crap). If god is all powerful and all knowing, then he's at fault for all the bad things that happen too. But people are too stupid to understand that simple logic, and are too insecure to accept it. Not to mention, of course, again the inflated egos that are absolutely sure god is a male, and have you ever noticed the religions that were created to proclaim a male's right to supremacy? Absolutely rediculous. If god exists, he gave us science too, and we now know that all human life originates in a female form, and changes when exposed to testosterone; as well as that the y chromosome is genetically inferior to the female x chromosome.

Religions were created to accept occurances that people could not explain with the knowledge available at the time, and to keep the population of each society in line. God is just a parent substitute for adults. Think about it; when you're less than three, your parent is your god. Controls everything, takes care of you, makes rules that must be followed, hands out punishment and reward. Then people grow up; they feel insecure because no one is there to take care of the things which are beyond their control, so they need a parent substitute. They also need the illusion that someone is watching them all the time so they will not misbehave. I don't remember where I heard or read it, but I liked the quote; "God is santa clause for adults. He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good so be good for goodness' sake".

Bah. Off my soapbox.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Both sexes : What dont you want them doing in front of you?
Posted: 3/10/2007 1:27:04 PM
Like most other nurses, not too much grosses me out. Female hygiene, nose picking, who cares. But I can really do without the smell, so defacating is something I'd rather avoid watching. And keep the door closed please. And turn on the exhaust fan. Someone might be eating, and there's nothing like the scent of crap to kill an appetite. Especially if I'm trying to enjoy my tootsie roll. IMHO, anyway.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 4 (view)
 
DOMENSTIC VIOLENCE, what is it
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:18:40 AM
Domestic violence takes place between citizens of the same country they live in. Otherwise, it's imported violence. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 12 (view)
 
why dont men get it?
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:16:56 AM
I think all this can be wrapped up quite easily. If you give any non verbal 'hints', body language gestures, inexact statements, or flirt in any way that can be interpreted in two ways, assume that it will be interpreted in the way you don't want it too. Then think again of a way to communicate which can not be misinterpreted. To do anything else invites misunderstanding, and you only have yourself to blame if you act that way and your life doesn't work out the way you want it to.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Hmmmm
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:36:49 AM
So; do you think things will change? And how?
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 7 (view)
 
a tuxedo and many dresses
Posted: 3/9/2007 4:45:45 AM
Women change their looks to maintain attraction. Men unconciously want the illusion that they are pursuing different women, it's genetic, the desire to 'spread the seed' as much as possible. (one reason why a man usually doesn't remember what his date is wearing; he always maintains a picture in his mind of what she looked like when they initially met, which is why we aren't affected much as you get older, unless you drastically change your looks suddenly).

Two, by appearing different from every other woman in the room, a woman avoids being grouped in with some other woman that her targeted male (if she is single) or current male (if she is attachec) might have been involved with in the past.

A tuxedo is considered a male 'uniform' of sorts; in the past, only the rich could afford formal wear, so a guy can only screw up by not appearing in appropriate attire. But if you look close, you can tell who rented, and who owns their own tux. The rich usually still wear a higher quality wardrobe.

Oh, and women can rent expensive dresses. But for some reason most won't. I don't know why.

JMHO
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 23 (view)
 
IS AGE REALLY A FACTOR?
Posted: 3/4/2007 6:21:27 PM
I read somewhere that who we are personality wise is pretty much set by the time we're 25. And I've found it to be true so far. So, after that, anything goes. It's important to keep in mind where you are in your life's plans however. If you're done having kids, don't want any, and your potential mate thinks otherwise, you'd better pass. Too many older guys (yeah, my age) have already done the family thing and expect young women to forget about having kids, and that's not fair. I haven't had kids yet, so being single again, I'm pretty much at the same point a woman at 30 is. Ready to settle down and get married (eventually; too many 30 something women want to get married RIGHT NOW and have kids RIGHT NOW before the biological clock winds down). Would I have kids, at my age? Well, yeah, maybe with the right person, but not in the first few years of marriage; that time should be about us. And after one divorce, I'm going to be real careful about who that will be.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 47 (view)
 
antidepressants n orgasms
Posted: 3/4/2007 4:49:00 PM
stevexrd, interesting explanation. I was on prozac for a while, all it ever did was make me hyper; wide awake upon waking up, with a general feeling of tired all the time, like I never had any sleep. No effect at all on sexual feelings. But, codiene did exactly what you mentioned for the SSRI's; continual rise of excitement, but can never reach orgasm. Now I have to go look up if narcotics have any related chemical activity in that area.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 103 (view)
 
ok, I figured out why women
Posted: 3/4/2007 4:24:48 PM
C'mon, Semper, there's plenty of us tall guys out here. Just look up! (6'4" and holding). Besides, you can always wear a skirt; we can't. When I can't find pants the right length, what are my options, naked? When you wear short pants, you can call 'em capris, me, they're just 'high water pants'.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Male Self-Image vs Female Self-Imageā€¦.
Posted: 3/3/2007 12:16:16 PM
We're talking about how we percieve our looks, right? When we look in the mirror in advance of trying to impress someone, whether it be someone we know or someone we haven't even met, we tend to focus on the negatives, stuff we wish we could change. I think women know that guys are particular about how a woman looks, hence the terms breast man or leg man; but you can't be attractive to everyone, and maybe she thinks the one she wants will get away because she doesn't have whatever it is that he's looking for. On the other side of that coin, is that women can do a lot quickly to change how they look. Hair dye, style, different types of clothing, heels if you're short or want to change the way your legs or butt look, make up to change the tone or expression, etc. can all change whether you have what it takes to attract a particular man. Us guys, well, we're pretty much who we are, as we're more likely to be judged by what we do for a living, our assets, and our personality, none of which can be changed in a short period of time. We also know that how we look isn't going to change our chances all that much, the way it will for women. We know plenty of ugly men who have beautiful, wonderful wives, and know it has very little to do with looks. On the other hand, you rarely see ugly plain women with rich men.

Men who openly brag about themselves are simply 'advertising'. Women advertise with looks, a guy advertises vocally. A woman walks into a room and every guy knows whether she's what he's looking for. A man walks into a room and he knows that no one else knows the important details about him; is he an alpha male or a drone? Rich or poor? On the way up or on the way down? Ambitious or settled into middle management? What's his occupation? What are his outside interests? Those are things women would be interested in; his 'character'. You can't tell those things without meeting, or hearing about the man. Of course he's going to point out what he thinks are the impressive things about himself. Danny DeVito types aren't all that impressive until you learn that he's a rich movie producer; then all of a sudden, women will surround them in droves.

So yes, women are more critical of their looks, because men are. Because if there's nothing physical about you that turns a man on, there's nothing in the world that's going to make him attracted to you. A great personality on it's own will never do it.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Hmmmm
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:32:35 AM
Snuggle, men and women are different. See your own post. Women 'test' men on the who pays issue. I didn't write that, you did. Nothing's changed. Men are still viewed by our financial status, and of course how much we're willing to 'pay' for the woman. I listen to the women at work, and whenever someone gets engaged, it's all about how big the rock is, what the guy does for a living, etc etc.. Women still care much less about what a guy looks like, and men don't give a rat's ass what a woman does for a living. It's kind of the way it's always been, and sad to say, probably won't change much in the near future.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Changes in our life time
Posted: 2/27/2007 12:56:12 AM
I'm a r.n., and see the amount of testing done due to 'cover my ass' medicine is astounding. Everyone gets x rays. Everyone gets blood tests. Everyone gets a prescription. And they want more. Patients constantly want me to give them free medicine. With no payment up front, and most never paying at all. We have the 'entitlement' generation. Everyone expects everything for free, and they expect it 'right now'. I have people coming back to the e.r. the next day if they aren't 'cured' yet. Amazing.

Child discipline has gone out the window. Parents are so busy, they feel guilty about not giving their kids attention, and so overdo it, and the kids today are out of control. I know I'll sound old, but in my day if a kid was found with a gun, his dad would take it away, and he'd get a beating he'd never forget, and no one would think twice about it being inappropriate. Now, most kids don't have dads. More than 50% are born to unwed mothers. And with that goes much of the discipline; mom's are too tired, or even afraid of their kids. Several couples I know have their kids on ritalin; ADD? Nah, it's the No Discipline Disorder. The kids ran rampant through the house since they were born. They still talk back to their parents.

I'm another vote for anti-text messaging; isn't that like telegrams? Haven't we had voice technology for over a century? Why are we going backwards? I don't understand.

Our litigous society. Commercials on that start with 'you may be entitled to money'.

Drug companies now advertise. 'Ask your doctor if Thorazine is right for you!'. People ask the doctors for drugs, and they have no idea what the drug is for! One doc I know had a man ask him for a brand of woman's birth control pills. For himself. He had no idea what they were for.

Drug companies that rush products to market without testing adequatly, or hide adverse effects from the public. These people should die a slow, horrible death for causing the death of their customers. Yet, nothing is done.

Company corporate boards that aren't responsible for anything. Golden parachute plans and legal insurance plans for executives so they won't get sued after driving a company into the ground and stealing all the money. Enron, Worldcom, even the hospital I work in go bankrupt, and 'no one is' responsible. Hey, someone mismanaged and filtered all the money away, and it wasn't the workers. We're the ones who got screwed over.

Elected officials that feel absolutely no responsibility to the people that elected them, only to themselves and their friends who get rich off of the government contracts. I recently found out that Toyota had a viable electric car since 1999. We could have been well on our way to energy independence. But Texaco/Chevron bought the patent for the batteries, and forced production of those vehicles to cease. All so the oil companies can continue to rake in the money. In the meantime, our government officials do nothing; why? Because they have ties to the oil industry. I thought we had a government for the welfare of the entire populace, not just the one industry.

Politically correct speech. I don't know what to call anyone anymore. Decide what you want to be referred to once, and make it accurate. If it can be misinterpreted, then you chose the wrong word. Pick a race, not a continent. Lots of different races live on all continents. You're not a continent, you're a person.

Rich people who feel no reason to fix the products their companies produce. Yes, I'm talking about you Bill Gates. Fix the code in XP before putting more flash in Vista. Stop leaving an operating system that deteriorates over time so people think they need new computers. You've had Windows NT (the core of XP and Vista) for oh, 13 years now? Get it fixed. The Bill Gates foundation won't do it; you're always going to be known for being the father of planned obsolence software until you change things. You're rich enough. Time to do it right. We don't need more style, we need more substance. You should be ashamed of yourself for ignoring the faults of your products.

Companies that rip you off just because they can. DVD's sell for $2.49 in china because they have to compete with pirated copies. They can make a profit at that price. Yet here, they cost ten times that amount. Music companies that sue you because they aren't getting richer. After years of selling us garbage filler songs on albums (yes, I own >1000 cd's so I know of what I write).

I'm just getting more aggravated. Thinking of all this gives me a headache.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Women with LONG HAIR
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:42:47 PM
I think one of the problems with short hair, is that most women (I know, not all) with short hair had it long to begin with, and then cut it real short. I make it clear that I really, really like long hair. When a woman I'm dating cuts it short, it tells me she really doesn't care if I'm attracted to her, and if she doesn't care, why should I?

What makes women look good? Want to sell things? Look in your clothes catalogs. Models with, yes, beautiful long hair.

Also, want to know how much guys like long hair? Look at what we're willing to pay our hard earned money for. Mens magazines, >99% of the women have long, lucious hair. Gogo bars, the same. See many prostitutes with butch cuts and no make up? Guess not. Beauty reigns. I think if you took a poll, oh, Allesandra Ambrosio vs Ellen Degeneres, you'd find it almost unanimous.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 21 (view)
 
2nd date with plain-lookin woman??
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:17:49 PM
Alright, if you weren't attracted to her, what got you to ask her out on the first date? Do you always approach women you aren't attracted to? Seems kinda weird.

On the other hand, if you have no desire to have any kind of physical contact with her, then break it off now. Don't lead her on. It can only lead to disaster.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Where do you draw the line between security and gold digging?
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:11:04 PM
O.K., just the fact that you're getting involved with women who all try to find out how much you make is indicative of you pursuing that type of women. You're either conciously or subconciously using symbols of wealth to attract women. It comes across in your writing and most likely does in your speech as well. Yes, it works, but you see the results. Advertise for women who want money, you get women who want money. My guess is you're using conspicuous consumption, and getting cought at it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, as long as you want to be known as rich. But you seem to want to avoid that. Women don't want men who are pennyless, but if you drive a decent car, live in a decent house, and don't make a big deal of name and place dropping in your conversations she'll get the concept that you're financially secure, and for about 95% of women, that, and not being fat is enough. I don't know what exactly you do for a living, though I don't really believe that you're an ass model, but surely you can come up with a job title that indicates you are steadily employable without being pretentious. I mean, even if you are CEO of a computer graphics business, you can say you're a manager; if you're the managing partner of a law firm, you're still a lawyer. If you're the president, you're still a politician. Take the normal job title, and you're lifestyle will let her determine for herself just how successful you are. Drive a normal upscale car; a mercedes is fine, but if you are driving a Rolls or Ferrari that's just advertising 'rich', and you will attract golddiggers like flies. Same with everything else; a rolex says to the world 'I've got money', a tag says 'I don't waste it'. A casio atomic says you don't care about what anyone thinks, you have the most accurate timepiece that exists. All tell accurate time. Also, on the other hand, if you go around telling people things like you're a CEO that WILL make them know just how impressed you are with yourself. And, again, you will attract golddiggers. But the rest of us will just see you as a self important twit. I think you get the idea.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 33 (view)
 
should I lose weight or earn more money?
Posted: 2/26/2007 10:42:41 PM
This thread is a troll.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 17 (view)
 
The thermostat fight
Posted: 2/26/2007 10:34:19 PM
Especially during child bearing years, women's bodies tend to conserve energy in preperation for possible pregnancy. Men usually have a higher metabolic rate, and so feel warmer. Living in New Jersey, I've slept with the window open a bit all my life except while I was married.

My ex grew up in a hothouse. 80 degrees with some regularity. At that temperature, my sinuses dry and close up and I suffer sleep apnea. So for almost 8 years of marriage, I used afrin regularly. Now divorced, I have chronic sinusitis. I guess most people think I'm a coke head.

Just checked my bedroom temperature; a nice, balmy 58 degrees. Ahhhhhhhh. Living room, 70. The birds like it warm.

Hope next GF is part polar bear.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 49 (view)
 
How long could you hold out?
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:56:41 PM
I was 'master of my own domain' for a max of eight days once. Mostly due to exhaustion from overwork. Rarely more than 24 hours unless I'm physically very ill. Broken arm once made me ambidextrous very quickly, as I can't bend my foot around that far (nor my neck....uhhhhh, nah).
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Hillary or Barack: Who Is Your Choice and Why
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:42:03 PM
Experience? Hillary? What, one full term as an elected official? Barack? Not yet. Hmmm. I don't think either is ready for being president. Not that they could do any worse than the current nut we're stuck with. But the Dem's have a few other good people running, maybe Barack or Hillary would be a good running mate. But if either of these two get the nomination, and we're going to be stuck with another republican. McCain could beat either of them. Unless........you get Bill as V.P.....now, that would be a ticket that the elephant couldn't trump. But I don't think he'd be willing to take second chair to his wife.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Inside the heart or good looking?
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:33:05 PM
Well, there's gotta be something about the looks that turns me on or sex just will never happen, no matter how much love is there. I think we'd all like a partner who is physically perfect to us, but that just rarely happens. Skinny with nice long hair is about all that counts for me (although tall would be nice; with short girls my gait sort of resembles frankenstein when I walk holding hands with them). Personality wise, good natured is the requirment. Smart or dumb, rich or poor, pretty or plain, none of that really matters all that much.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 6 (view)
 
If You Could Be Anybody In The World Who Would You Be?
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:27:22 PM
Wow, right now, maybe Britney Spears. I just wonder what's so bad about life rich, famous, and talented that made her go off the deep end.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Ladies, why all the unhappy 'mug shots'?
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:25:16 PM
Wile E is up because he symbolizes my life; most things seem to blow up in my face, especially relationships. I do have my face up there though, trying to smile my best without it being a crazy joker-style grin.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Baffled
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:21:52 PM
Ummm, tink, I work nights and a lot of weekends; does put a crimp on some parts of my life. You didn't really specify what else he's avoiding discussing, though.
Nightfly.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What is wrong with a lot of women and guys now a days?
Posted: 2/26/2007 9:02:58 PM
O.K. Mr. very mature and complete person (a bit full of yourself, maybe?).

Try putting up an ad in the times, for a woman who's escaped somewhere where ethnic cleansing was going on, maybe had their whole family killed by a suicide bomber, or somewhere in the third world where most people die of disease by the time they're 45, ore perhaps someone who worked in the fields of the drug lords where they kill you if you haven't worked hard enough as slave labor. She'll have the perspective on the seriousness of life that you want.

Or maybe just get a grip. There are plenty of people out there, some good, some bad, and you just haven't realized how hard it is to find a compatible mate. Welcome to the world of single people. When you're young, you tend to have a lot in common with your acquaintences, because you're all from the same age, experience similar things (school and such), and are at a similar stage in your lives. Dating was easy in school, easy topics to discuss and bond over like classes, sports teams, professors that are good or bad or strange, what to take next semester, places to go near campus for dates, meeting friends from the same school or neighborhood that are into the same things.

Now you're out in the real world, with no guarantees of having ANYTHING in common with the females you're meeting. Now it gets difficult. You're going to have to meet lots more women to find one that you really like at all.

But it is an adventure. Now go out there and date a lot of people. That's how you're going to find the woman you want. Not by writing and complaining online. Strike up a conversation with every attractive woman you can; if things seem to flow, meet her for coffee after work or a drink or two.

You've lived through some really bad experiences. So why are you complaining about how hard it is to meet someone compatible? Now, that's perspective.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 25 (view)
 
I'm beer, she's champagne... social mismatch?
Posted: 2/26/2007 8:39:22 PM
If the champagne thinks it's better than beer, and/or the beer thinks so, and they aren't willing to share each other's activities or are uncomfortable doing so, there could be a problem. If on the other hand, beer is comfortable at black tie fund raisers, and discussing their charities and visits to five star hotels and restaurants around the world, and champagne likes riding in a rusty pickup truck that rattles and the air conditioning doesn't work, it'll get along just fine. Usually champagne isn't accustomed to the daily inconveniences of the average beer; and beer just might squint an eye when handed the bill for flying first class, which champagne just expects as normal. Champagne might also be accustomed to being driven in a limosine, and changing to driving an IROC Z car on a regular basis may not be acceptable long-term. Champagne may also be used to getting $$$$$ presents, dinners or trips on special occasions, and beer may not be able to spend half a years salary for those gifts; and while champagne may be fine with this, champagne's friends and relatives may very well continue to give $$$$$ gifts which may make beer feel a bit weird at the great, big formal birthday party that champagne's friends and family arranged at Monte Carlo (which of course, they flew to first class). Even in so called class-less america, the rich do live very differently than the rest of us, and a lot of them aren't going to be happy with much less than they've become accustomed to. Maybe short term, but not long term. No valet parking, no quick entrance past the velvet ropes, actually shopping for the basic necessities, having to wait at restaurants and not getting the best table (or servers), not having servants to do all the little chores and run errands, etc etc.. Think Paris Hilton could switch permanently to your lifestyle? Think again. Maybe. But the odds aren't very good.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Ladies, why all the unhappy 'mug shots'?
Posted: 2/26/2007 4:17:06 PM
^^^^Sure! No, I didn't look at all the guys pics, so I wasn't aware that they don't smile either. Didn't think of the Sexy pout either (but to me it's not real sexy).
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Ladies, why all the unhappy 'mug shots'?
Posted: 2/26/2007 3:51:50 PM
As I look through the ads, I see page upon page of women looking mean. And you wonder why guys don't respond. Doesn't anyone remember how to smile? Why in the world do you put up unhappy pictures???? I just don't get it. What's the rational here? It seems like you're saying "I dare you to contact me, I'll bite your head off".
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Self Love
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:47:57 AM
I'm nice, to pretty much everyone, even when I probably shouldn't be.
That's a good and a bad thing sometimes.

I'm tall, and well, strong enough. I don't injure easily, and don't complain when something hurts.

I can fix pretty much anything, and hate paying anyone else to do it, even if I don't have time to do it myself.

I'm learning not to care so much what other people think. I can relax a bit more often.

I've stopped putting up with the bigots and self centered people in my life.

I can network my house, and fix pretty much anything that goes wrong with computers.

I've studied psychology extensively, and know why I feel what I do, and why I do things. I try to help others learn as well.

I know how to be happy, despite my life situation.

I've never been unemployed. I'm in the top 10 percentile of earners in the U.S. (So why do I feel like I'm not working hard enough?)

As a manager, both my boss and my employees liked and respected me. I think it was because I was willing to work hard and set a good example, and treated people fairly.

Wow. That was easier than I thought. I guess I shouldn't have self esteem issues.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Let me know this one!
Posted: 1/11/2007 12:46:13 PM
OP, sounds like you're just another woman that likes to date bad boys. Start dating nice guys and things will change.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Cut the BS
Posted: 1/11/2007 12:40:41 PM
We desire love, affection, and sex. It's genetic. Not necessarily in that order, or all the time. When all are absent, we see a relationship as the answer. Romantic, passionate love lasts long enough for the female to get pregnant, give birth, and for the kid to get walking. Anything longer than that is gravy. Once the needs are filled, we find other desires more important, and we let the maintainence of the relationship slide. The relationship falls apart, a few months go by, the needs rise up and we crave someone again. Repeat ad nauseum. Legal marriage makes us think twice about abandoning a cooling relationship because of the financial costs. So greater than 50% fool around on the side. The rest of us don't.
 
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