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 Author Thread: Why writing a long email to the girl you are interested in ?
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why writing a long email to the girl you are interested in ?
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:26:11 PM
How long is long? I have had guys send me essays and that didn't turn me on anymore than the 3 word message guys. Honestly, I usually don't read the profiles of the "hey whats up" guys; I just keep it moving. I think 2-4 complete sentences that shows you read her profile is a good length.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
why do mainly females look at my profile
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:14:25 PM
Instead of putting this line in your profile:

Please do not message me if you are older than me as not looking for anyone who is.

How about just using the age restrictions and deleting that?
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
what do you see when you look at a 'viewed you'?
Posted: 8/21/2009 4:58:15 PM

I wish they would get rid of that like they got rid of our 5 last posts and how many faves we have on our page.


Oh snaps, I didn't even realize that was gone.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
is this psycho headquarters?
Posted: 8/19/2009 4:45:55 PM

Psycho headquarters is craigslist. We're Schizo headquarters.

Funny but so true. LOL
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Send a second message?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:44:36 PM

"Her non response is a response". No, it isn't. All it is is RUDE !


Well I'll just have to be considered rude. Whenever I tell someone "thanks but no thanks" they either want to know why or they try to change my mind. I have no desire to get into all that with people I don't know and don't care to know. If it's rude, so be it.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why do guys in their 20's seem to want it super fast?
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:43:21 PM

Maybe 'cause some of us ask for it that way. Did I ruin them for you? Sorry.

Word. haha...
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why do guys in their 20's seem to want it super fast?
Posted: 8/13/2009 5:14:03 PM

Weird, most guys I sleep with in their 20s take their time, go multiple rounds and exceed most of my physical requirements.

I happen to like older men for more sensual play. They are a bit more aware of what it takes for a woman to slowly burn... while the young guys just flame me up right away lol.


I agree with this. The guy I am dating is 25, I'm 29 and the first time we had sex he did do a lot of positions but it blew my mind because he did things no one else had done before and they were positions that didn't require me to be flipped all around but they hit the spot just right. It was mostly him just re-positioning his own body. He was very aggressive and I like when men are aggressive in bed. And the stamina was just off the charts. It was all I could think about for the next few days.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
if someone scared you by seeming too eager. . .
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:49:31 PM
Well after hearing every one else's stories, I'm gonna go ahead and remove myself from the "too eager" group. LOL I was just excited and really feeling somebody and told them so, it wasn't that serious. But like someone else said, everyone has their own idea of what is considered "too fast".
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
if someone scared you by seeming too eager. . .
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:03:30 AM

some people knows what they want and are not afraid to get what they want.
Generally, those people are the most honest as they do not hide at all.

The ones that bother me are the ones who take eons to even make simple choices.


Totally agree. And that was the situation with me. I just put it out there that I would for a,b,c and d to happen when that person was ready for it. But I am a very expressive person so I put a lot of my feelings out there. Sometimes its like damned if you do and damned if you dont. If you play it cool then you are not "into" that person. When you make your feelings known you are "too eager" or "psycho"...It's hard sometimes to find the line in between.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
if someone scared you by seeming too eager. . .
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:07:45 AM

What would you do? I know it's based on the degree to which you are attracted--but, in general and assuming a enough attraction, would you tell the person you need to slow down, that you are a bit concerned about the speed of things, and give them a chance? What would you look for as evidence that they aren't the "psycho" type? What would make you call it quits? What would reassure you?


Tell them things are moving too fast and you want to slow down. You need to have that discussion.


Have you ever been on the other side of this--someone told you things were going too fast, but the relationship continued?

Yup.


Did you think their concerns were justified?

Yup.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Does this happen alot?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:54:27 PM
I'd say less than 10% of my messages are guys who *obviously* just want to hook up. Which is surprising considering my pics. LOL Most guys that message me are pretty respectful and "seem" genuinely interested.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
another dating site calls us losers
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:47:27 PM
I've been called worse things by better people.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Good or Bad speed dating question?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:45:32 PM

Maybe the better question would be: ... "If we both had a tiring day at work, but disagreed on how to spend a relaxing evening, what approach would you use to solve the disagreement?"


This sounds too much like a behavioral interview question for a job candidate. Just reading it gives me flashbacks of smug hiring managers and HR people asking me these questions.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Parents have a warped view of relationships/dating...advice?
Posted: 8/10/2009 3:37:43 PM

This is my first relationship


I think this may be the issue here. Mom isn't used to her baby boy having another woman in his life so the protective instincts are kicking in and the claws are coming out a little. Hopefully as you start dating more Mom will ease up on your girlfriends but if it becomes a habit where "no one is good enough for Mama's baby" then you might want to avoid bringing girls to the house.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
wanting to start as friends doesnt mean someone is a player
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:59:51 AM

And for many women, it's a given that you'll be her friend if you're dating her.


Exactly. That's why I tend to avoid the guys who say "let's be friends first". It's not because of insecurity or wanting to jump into a relationship, its because usually when me and a guy start out "as friends", it usually stays there and I am not looking for more male friends at this time. So I prefer to deal with guys who are on the same page as me in terms of what they are looking for.

Dating to me means two people who have a romantic interest are getting to know each other to see if they are compatible. The friendship will develop alongside of that.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
talking dirty and sexting
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:53:31 PM

Actually I have had this happen to me, right here on the site. Apparently someone (who will go nameless) decided that my forum posts were extremely sultry. This particular female wrote me an email, hoping that I would "enjoy being straddled by her" long enough to "enjoy the ride". She pondered the thought of having me in a chair, enjoying the taste of her pu$$y.


Sorry, won't happen again.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
On letting go fast -blowing the potential?
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:29:43 PM
I noticed too that the advice around here seems to lean more towards the "move on", "he/she is not into you", "don't walk, run away fast" type of stuff and sometimes that advice is clearly justified. But sometimes all the poster needs to do is a little communicating or further investigating to get to the bottom of the problem or to solve it.
Me and the guy I'm currently dating had a mis-communication problem recently and if I had posted that problem to these forums, I have no doubt that 90% of the advice would have been "move on, he's not into you, sorry" and that turned out not to be the case. All it took was a little communication on both our parts to get things right and now we are better than before.

These forums can be very helpful but people need to remember that they know their own situation much better than any of us could, so the advice needs to be put into perspective when applying it to their life.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
big guys
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:46:53 PM

whats up with laydes wanting the hot body with the looks of a god. knowing that every woman is looking for the same guy to walk on the beach with. do men realy want to walk on the beach with you. a big guy will go out of his way to do the right things but still get the cold sholder.


Pffft, please. The most inconsiderate jerks that I have dated have been the bigger guys or guys whose body wasn't "all that". The nice body dudes for the most part were more kind. Even still, I don't need a "hot body" but I do need an attractive face.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
To ALL Women In This Forum
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:41:15 PM
Aww shucks folks, I'm speechless.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
good body or face?
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:21:08 PM
I always choose face over body.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Closing your eyes when kissing, making love.
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:04:12 PM
I usually can't think during times like those. My brain just shuts down and primal instincts take over.

And my eyes are usually closed during kissing and sex. I'm shy like that.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is she crazy or am I reading more into it?
Posted: 7/24/2009 7:18:06 PM
How about you have an adult conversation with her about this? Tell her that her communication has been a bit on the aggressive side and that you'd like to slow things down. Sometimes when people meet someone they really like it is exciting and they can go a bit overboard. You need to communicate to her that it is a bit much for you this early on. How she reacts will tell you if she really is nuts or just a normal person who is excited and over-eager.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 88 (view)
 
Why do women refuse to make a first contact after you have already met
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:52:01 AM

I'd refute it, but that's a theoretical argument. In practice, I have without exception in my dating life (early in a dating relationship) found that when he stops contacting me as much and I start contacting him more, his interest has waned, and me contacting him may keep it going - but his interest has already waned to insufficient. It's almost like beating a dead horse.

I used to contact guys when I felt like it (and still do, with certain people), but I swear it's like clockwork - the more I contact them, the less they are interested in me (and, I swear, I have a stunning personality! ).

I think it has something to do with being too available, which leads to them taking you for granted. I personally detest that that's the way things are, but at least in my experience, that's how it's worked out. Very rarely has a guy appreciated when I really take the initiative, whether it be by suggesting a date or by making that phone call.


I totally agree with this entire post. This has also been my experience.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
why good guys lose out?
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:40:12 PM
It has nothing to do with you being a "good guy" and everything to do with the fact that you have voluntarily and significantly narrowed down the amount of women that will be acceptable to you. Most women are sexually active before marriage, most women who are not active in church will not be as into religion as you are and most women aren't going to want to be preached to by you: "Jesus teaches us this, that and the other...".

As for writing love letters: save it for someone who loves you. Receiving "love letters" from someone you have been dating for only a short while can be creepy. It's just too much.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What do women think about a long period without sex?
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:23:41 PM
I agree with everyone else.
However, it might be something you want to mention right before you become intimate with someone. That way, if your stamina falls a little short, she'll understand why.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Ladys, what's wrong with this reply
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:12:16 PM

Scared yet? No? Good, keep reading:


Maybe at this point she was scared and did decide to stop reading.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How to tell a man you don't like something in bed
Posted: 7/19/2009 3:58:04 PM
You tell him the same way you just told us. I have had men tell me the same thing "I can eat it all day!" But I'm not that big on receiving oral either, I prefer a nice pounding. So I tell them that a couple minutes of oral is good enough for me and after that I would like to move on.

When he does go down on you, if you feel like he's down there too long, you just slightly sit up and in your sexy voice whisper "Come here, baby..." Always works for me.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 179 (view)
 
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 7/19/2009 3:40:45 PM
I've met someone but I'm still here for the forums. Honestly, I stopped looking for dates on POF a while before I actually met him. I met him on another social networking site. I haven't ran a search here in a long time, I come straight to the forums. If me and him decide that this is definitely going to be us and we decide together that we don't want internet profiles anymore then I will take it down. That discussion needs to be had before I do that though. And just because you're dating someone doesn't mean it's going to last a long time so I'd rather leave mine up for now just in case things don't work out.

The topic of whether to remove profiles is definitely something that needs to be discussed the next time you feel like a relationship you found through here is turning serious.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Accents....
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:34:18 AM
I like most accents. The ones I tend to not care for are African accents and thick Caribbean accents. Actually, I don't like any accent that's so thick I can barely understand what's being said.

I moved to Baltimore 3 years ago and they say I have a Jersey/New York accent. But a Baltimore accent is like nothing else, it's not country but it's not Northern and no other region talks like them. Their o's are pronounced like "eww" so "to" becomes "teww" and "do" becomes "deww". They also say "dug" instead of "dog". I love it though, it's kind of cute.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Shirtless Profiles
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:21:35 AM
This is one of those "to each his own" things that frequently pops up on these boards. To me, some shirtless pics look tacky and conceited but some look sexy. The guy that I am currently dating looked skinny in the pics he had with a shirt on but his shirtless pic showed he had a very athletic and toned body.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Are we allowed to do creative (sexual) writing?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:46:03 PM
The forums here tend to be a bit on the conservative side so I am not sure if this is the kind of venue you want to use for that.

I love Literotica.com, I haven't been there in a long time but it used to be one of my favorite sites.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
can you have a crush in your late 20`s early 30`s?
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:51:15 PM
I'm 29 and I had a crush on a co-worker 2 years ago and I currently have a crush on my new boo.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Profile photos from driver's seat?
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:04:25 PM
I didn't know women took pics like that. I've only seen men with photos like that but I guess it's because I don't look at women's profiles. But about 80% of male profiles I look at have a driver's seat photo.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Hmm...Whats wrong?
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:56:51 PM

I resent that remark!


So do I! Hmph.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Women Don't Always Cum
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:48:01 PM

Now I have Wang Chung's, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" in my head..... except I replaced the "have fun" with "gonna cum".


Well, not everybody it seems.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
what's with women going to the toy box instead of the real thing
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:41:37 PM

Honestly... sometimes I just wanna get off. At that moment, I am going to be completely selfish and rub one out to take the edge off. Sometimes I just don't want all the kissing and cuddling and stroking and sweating.

It's not because I don't enjoy sex with a partner... omfg... I have a very high sex drive and love to experience all I can with my man.


/\ Everything she just said. Sometimes you just want to bust a nut and keep it moving.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Baby pictures..
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:47:43 AM
I just hate it when there are more pictures of the kids than there are of them. That hasn't been the case so much on this site but on other sites I go to there is 1 pic of the person and ten pics of kids, family and cars.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
It's ALL about the wrapper? I call Bullpoop.
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:25:53 AM
I like for my pics to reflect my personality. I'm a sensual person so I have pics of me taken on my bed but the ones I have posted here really only show my face. I have shots of me taking self-pics in my job's bathroom mirror because I thought that was a funny thing to do and those mirrors and that lighting were perfect for taking pics. I have pics of me in a wifebeater because there is nothing I love more than putting on a man's wifebeater, especially when it smells like the man who was previously wearing it. I also have a picture of me holding my school's Honors Society certificate because, well, I'm smart. :)

Some shirtless bathroom mirror pics look conceited but I have seen a few that look sexy so I can't knock all of them. The guy I am currently dating had a shirtless self-pic of himself up on another social networking site that I found him on and I thought he looked absolutely yummy. To this day it is still one of my favorite pictures of him.

But to each his own, everything isn't for everybody. All you can do is form a profile which you think best reflects you and your personality. If some people don't care for it then oh well...
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
For the ladies - How long do you like actual intercourse to last?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:41:51 PM
I've never timed it but I'd rather have several "medium length" sprints instead of one long marathon.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
do girls expect guys to be
Posted: 7/12/2009 6:36:07 PM

I do think many women want a "strong" but human man.


Basically...
My guy doesn't have to be He-Man but he can't be a punk either. I want him to have a strong sense of manhood and masculinity.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Said Hello hun and was accuesed of being forward and blocked !
Posted: 7/12/2009 6:14:53 PM

You can't just go around calling complete strangers "hun" (unless you're from Baltimore, in which case it's "hon").


Haha, I'm originally from Jersey and have lived in Baltimore for 3 years. I get such a kick out of it when some old school Baltimore person calls me "hon". So funny.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Checking out profiles multiple times?
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:55:36 PM
Sometimes I forget that I already looked at a particular profile, especially if the profile pic has been changed or just isn't a memorable shot.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
How do you swallow ...with your mouth open?
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:25:46 AM

and I know a few men that have shot that "tablespoon" theory to hell!


Yeah me too, and those were the times I spit. I'm not trying to chug down a whole protein shake.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How do you swallow ...with your mouth open?
Posted: 7/11/2009 7:55:03 PM

IMHO when women ask questions like this - it's an excuse NOT to do what they pretend they want to achieve. If a woman is willing to swallow she will without thinking how it's done!


For real. I have never thought about "How do I swallow?" I just do it. I mean we're only talking about a teaspoon to a tablespoon worth of fluid here.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
I am getting tired of meeting women with low self-esteem!!!
Posted: 7/11/2009 7:39:49 PM
Heh, I was guilty of something similar just recently although I didn't ask for pics. LOL This guy that I am seeing looks like he could be a freakin underwear model and I...well, you can tell I'm a little on the fluffy side. LOL So I asked him what type of women did he usually get involved with and he looked at me and said "I like women." So I asked him to elaborate and he just looked at me again and said "I said, I like women."

 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Write Your Own Rejection Letter
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:11:28 PM
I would rather not get a response. No reply = not interested, I don't need it spelled out for me.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Texting before talking on the phone.
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:51:44 PM
It's funny for me now to come back and read this thread because today I had a face to face meeting with a guy from a social networking site and we never spoke on the phone. We have only text'd and IM'd for the past 2 or so weeks. When we met today we hit it off so well it's crazy.

Anyway, like I said before, there is no right or wrong answer to this. It all depends on what you are comfortable with or used to doing. I'm not a phone person and texting allows me to carry on a conversation sometimes throughout the course of an entire day without any major interruptions. In our case, text and IM didn't inhibit us from getting to know each other nor from meeting in a timely fashion. Different strokes for different folks.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Curious, why so many pictures in the car?
Posted: 7/2/2009 11:11:38 PM

I know this is kinda dumb, but I notice that alot of women have a photo taken of them behind the wheel of their car. I never see guys with this type of photo.


OMG, I just posted about this on my Facebook page the other day. There are SO many guys that take pics inside their car and I don't get why this has become such a trend. I can see taking a pic outside of your car because it is nice and you want to show it off, but taking a pic in the drivers seat?

You haven't seen guys with this photo because you aren't checking for guys. Just like I didn't know women did this also because I'm not checking for girls.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Texting before talking on the phone.
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:16:44 PM
The answers to this will vary and I think a lot of it will have to do with age and what people are used to doing.
Personally, I like texting. You can have a conversation without the pressure and awkwardness that sometimes come with trying to think of what to say on the phone and it is more instantaneous (sp?) and spontaneous (sp??) than emailing.
 BrickCharm City
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
On line Dating makes me sick
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:42:08 AM

you didn't get dumped Sister, you just didn't get asked out again

And judging by this line in her profile, I don't think she will be getting asked out anytime soon.
Sheesh:

"I am not clingy, needy or desperate so if you are flakey then I would think you are not man enough, coward or chicken, to at least meet me, so then I wish you good luck."

The irony...
 
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