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 Author Thread: Sweet old man or stalker?
 daytondennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Sweet old man or stalker?
Posted: 9/1/2012 8:07:16 PM
I suppose part of the answer depends on what is "sweet old man". If you are 50 and he is 76, then yeah, older guy. If you are 59 and he is 66, well is that an "old guy" to you? When I ever initiate contact, I always look at the profile to see if they have an age range. If I'm over it, I don't contact. Those men that ignore that on your profile are grasping at straws, IMO. Saying that, I wouldn't necessarily classify them as stalkers unless they ignore your response that you are not interested. Stalkers can be much older AND much younger.
 daytondennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 57 (view)
 
How do men feel about women with silver hair?
Posted: 2/27/2011 9:05:40 AM
thetrick - you look mahvalous with your hair colored as it is. I tried to picture you with grey/silver hair and must say I think you would look much better as you are right now.

Thats the rub here with this thread. I HAVE seen ladies that looked great with grey/silver hair and then again, those who I thought looked much older that way. It depends very much on the person. Nothing wrong with coloring hair or cosmetic surgery for that matter if you think/BELIEVE it makes you look more attractive.

If you feel it makes you look "unnatural" don't do it. I do find it curious that some ladies who are adamently against coloring hair, still use lots of make-up. If you are "truly natural" than why alter anything? :-) No offense intended, it's just that we are all different creatures as far as what we find or don't find attractive.

If you want to go/stay silver, go for it!
 daytondennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Living your life in fear , is face to face meettings!! tabu !!
Posted: 2/9/2011 4:34:06 PM
Motown packs heat? *PERK* (searches for his 45.....)
 daytondennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Does facial hair on men over 45 make them look older or younger?
Posted: 2/9/2011 4:25:48 PM
Wow... I didn't even know the forums still existed (or that my question was still be addressed).

I've had ladies (well, only a couple) tell me they couldn't be serious with a man with a mustache. I thought it was a moot point, since they would find me attractive to begin with! I wouldn't say I would NEVER shave it off for the right lady, but I wonder how she/they would react if I said I would shave it off, only if 15 pounds was shed on their side of the fence?

Attraction is attraction. The few pounds don't really bother me, if the rest the package (personality, etc) was a keeper. I'd like to think the mustache issue would follow the same path....
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 68 (view)
 
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/6/2010 5:50:56 PM
I think we are kidding ourselves if we say "I'm not interested in looks". Of course we are, it's the creatures that we are. That being said, "looks" are indeed a relative thing. I want the physical attraction, but the mental/spiritual attraction is equally important and, at the end of the day, far more enduring. I have, on a rare instance or two, dated a couple very attractive women, and almost without exception they turned out to be "queen bees". They possessed the attitude that I should feel blessed just to be in their company. Who needs that? I suppose the one-night-standers, but it was an evening of fluff and ego to me and a few hours of my life I wish I could have back! Not all great-looking ladies or good-looking men are like that, but I tend to stay away from the barbie-dolls.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
AARP
Posted: 3/10/2010 3:45:49 PM
Spicy sez:
Great!!! Now I just need to find someone that wants to have sex with me...................


*sigh* Those promised Qantas tickets never arrived.....
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
LOVING
Posted: 9/26/2009 4:37:53 AM
At my age, my view and understanding of love has changed dramatically. I think that if we see "love" now as we did when we were 18, we may have missed (and may still miss out) on so much in a relationship.
A bumper-sticker like phrase that I hear from time to time is "Are you in LOVE or are you in LUST?" Simplistic, yes, but actually that's a pretty profound cliche' in its own way. The answer to this can be: "yes" "no" or "both". Is our view of what love is from nature or nurture? Have our peers from kindergarten playmates to collegiate classmates formed how we envision and seek "LOVE"? Has what we have seen that existed or was lacking in our friends/family/actors from romantic comedies all formulated what see love to be? And, if so, is this a good thing or bad thing? Possibly either - or both to some degree. Does that horny stud-of-a-roommate in college who notches on his bed post his almost nightly new conquest warp our perception of "love"? No doubt. Yet, that solid, patient, enduring love we saw between our parents also helps formulate what love is to us. How many of us were fortunate enough to have such parents? Or cursed with that college roommate? So, how DO we view what love is and how accurate is our view? An excellent book was written by C.S. Lewis titled "The Four Loves" It was a somewhat difficult read for me (having to re-read a couple of chapters), but at the end, I found it to be such an enlightenment to what loves we creatures as humans are capable of. Unfortunately, IMHO, it is that one love (lust) that tends to initiate, drive and finally dissolve so many relationships.
When (and IF) I find marriage again, I truly want all four loves to be intertwined and bonding that relationship. Then joy - not simply happiness will abound.
*sigh* way too early on Saturday for writing such stuff, but I have a "first meet" from a PoFer this afternoon and I'm trying to get into a "what-if" frame of mind. "More coffee, please!!"
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
He/She Still Loves Them & has Pics - Can You Handle It?
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:30:36 AM

So, is it then weird that I chronicle all my past loves/friends/family/everything on facebook, in albums, framed pics, writeups in memory books, memory projects, keeping momentos in scrapbooks, everything?


Is it "weird"? umm I don't know if I would call it that. But, if I were your new boyfriend and things were going really great for us and I see your Facebook page for the first time and lo and behold, there's pics of the last five guys you dated plastered on your wall. Yeah, I think that might tend to annoy me a little. (I think that's the original question posed). Actually the thread title is "Can You Handle It?" So, is this a "deal-breaker" for me. No, not necessarily, but I would wonder why the world gets to see my pic in a flock with 5 other guys.
Chronicling past events and people in your life? Cool, that's good idea - certainly do that. Gives you something to reflect upon fondly in later years. But, in my humble view, much better saved in an album or on a CD.
Your recent trip to the Grand Canyon or to Paris, your friends and family - makes sense to have those displayed for all to see. Ex-boyfriends or husbands, albeit "part of your history", still is a little different, don't you think. Again, I'm probably in the minority view on this; but for the new love of my life to post on her "wall" or display at home, pictures of past lovers, well, I would find that annoying.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Is it healthy to check out other people online when your dating someone?
Posted: 9/22/2009 2:32:21 PM

He stays here in case someone better looking than you comes along and then you’ll be history in no time.

BINGO, Guyd!


OP, big, big red flags. Heed what others are posting
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
He/She Still Loves Them & has Pics - Can You Handle It?
Posted: 9/22/2009 2:18:41 PM

If your child has a picture of their Mother or Father in their room that is quite normal. But why would you date a person that is still 'in love' with someone else?
Having a picture of a dead spouse is different I woud expect some feelings left for them but a living breathing Ex wife? Not on your life.


I agree entirely, CarolAnn. Why would I, as a new person in her life, want to be continually exposed to her ex(s). " Now look up there... My first husband on the top left, next to him his parents, below that his sister , then right next to her, the guy I lived with for 3 years - oh, the other 3 guys (I can't even remember their names) but they were FWB and deserve a place there as "part of my past." (I mean, where do you stop? Past is past, right?) ummm, no thanks. Maybe I come from a different viewpoint, as my EX and do mean EX.. left me for another man 10 years ago. We have no children. Haven't seen her in 5 years. Feelings for her? Well, honestly, those bad dreams of times past come and go every so often. And every once in a while I hear refrains from "our song" on someone's car radio. Does this evoke good feelings? Nope. Thankfully, most any and all feelings have faded away. That part of the baggage car is empty. And, when this new person, a new true love enters my life, do I think she should tolerate having to view on a daily basis any person(s) I have been intimate with and still even hold feelings toward? NO WAY. I can understand if people separate amiably that possibility that some love may exist, but I certainly wouldn't want that new person in my life to see a hint of it. SHE holds ALL my heart or as much of it as I can give her.
I understand a picture or two of the ex and the kids, but really, why more? If I want to keep a record of my past, I'll keep it in a photo album (actually, I do!) Anyway, that's just my opinion... I could be wrong.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
To give or not to give your phone number to women on this site...
Posted: 9/21/2009 6:25:08 PM

It may be good policy to bend on that first rule. Some women prefer to have the man's number first and retain the option of not giving him hers just yet on a first call. One of those "it really is different for girls" things. It is not unreasonable.


I have no problem giving the lady my number first before we meet for coffee. If things go well there and she (and I) would like to pursue things further, then I think it is only fair that I receive her number. Let's say we make plans for a nice dinner and I have a flat on the way over? Or some other issue comes up. How am I to let her know without her number? Now, giving her the number first - sure, there is always the risk of her never calling (and I think that IS rude), but I would rather find out at that point rather than after three nice dinners, a play and my heart invested a bit.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 579 (view)
 
Men over 45 and facial hair
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:31:27 PM
Personally, I'm a little concerned what I may look like without it. Just putting in my 2 cents.


ha! I feel exactly the same way. I've had mine since I was 19 and Lord knows if anyone would recognize me without it. Then again, my younger brother had a beard for 20 years, shaved it, and at the family reunion only a couple of people made comments about it being gone. Of course, most of them only seen him once or twice a year.

The good thing is, if you shave it, it will always grow back!
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
When in love
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:07:03 PM
Good for you Lisa, I hope it never fades! I am no doubt in the small minority when I say that it CAN last a lifetime. A few years ago at church camp, I saw an older couple that I had known since I was in diapers, walking past. I commented to the older gentleman "Gosh, Brother Brown, you look mighty spiffy tonight!" SHE smiled, winked and said "Well, who do you think picks his clothes out for him??" She then patted his butt and they ampled off. There was a glow there between them. And this, happening soon after my painful divorce, gave me much hope for the future.

btw, this is one of those threads I'm GLAD was resurrected after 3 years!
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Okay, is turning 45 the worst or what?
Posted: 9/21/2009 12:56:19 PM
My father is alive @ 89, my mom is 84. My Grandma died at 94. My aunt @ 90. My uncle @ 91 (all Dad's side of family). Not sure what side of your family controls longevity. All I know is that if I make it to 95 I will need viagra and an I.V. (and spend my honeymoon @ viagra falls... *cough*)

My friends who hiked the Grand Canyon several years ago with me, did an overnight bike trip labor day weekend. It wasn't that long, really - only 48 round trip, but not having biked much this year, it put a burn on my butt. Over dinner we all agreed that hiking the Canyon had become less and less enjoyable with each trip and with every passing year. We probably won't be doing that again, but on the bike path (beautiful paths, btw) we saw people in their 80's riding along thoroughy enjoying it. That's my plan - to keep my mind AND body in best running order I can get and enjoy life as long as I possibly can. I'm looking forward 30 years to participating in the Old Farts 3 mile bicycle race!
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 107 (view)
 
Okay, is turning 45 the worst or what?
Posted: 9/21/2009 11:18:42 AM

I turn 55 one week from today. Funny, age never seemed to bother me. Why is it that some landmark birthdays are harder on us than others. Why does age seem to make a bigger deal to women, (who are known to fib about their age sometimes) than to men.


You look MAHVALOUS, Widows - even if you told me you were 39! I think men are supposed to look more "manly" (maybe not the right word) as we age, while women are supposed to somehow retain that youthful "beauty" It's certainly a cultural thing. It's the AARP mail I'm starting to get that bugs me, though!!! grrrrrrrrr
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
should I tell His wife he's cheating?
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:32:08 AM
I have mixed feelings on this... My (ex)wife of 10 years, told me she wanted a divorce. I was still very much in love with her and told her, no - I have no reason to divorce you. She said, "Well, I will give you a reason - 4 years ago I had an affair." I said, "I forgive you, I still love you, let's heal our marriage" (YEAH YEAH, I know - DUH on me). Long story short, there was another man involved and there was really no changing her mind, so it ended as amiably as could be expected. Here's the thing - the affair 4 years earlier; if a friend or family member knew that it had happened (it was a one-nighter) would I have wanted them to tell me?? Well, first response is, YES! Let me know! But really, after thinking it over, I am glad that I didn't know and lived in ignorant half-bliss for those four final years. The only possible reason I would think of for telling someone is the possiblity of his giving her a STD. But you'd have to be absolutely certain it was a verifible fact.
Personally, I'd just leave it be.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I think ex girlfriend wants more than friendship
Posted: 9/20/2009 3:58:06 PM
Wounds never heal if ya keep picking at the scab. That's what you'll be doing if you do the FWB thingy with her.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/20/2009 1:14:54 PM

she already told me im being like a control freak when i took her away from a guy after i saw them dancing together in a dirty dancing type fashion.i.e. her butt wiggling on his groin.


ummmm......
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The POSITIVE relationship....
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:04:24 PM

If you are in a positive relationship, you are supposed to marry them...


Well, actually, there is some truth to that. NOT that all those who are in positive relationships on here are married or living together. I think that the reason it seems the majority of threads/posts on here are of the negative nature is that MOST of those who are in positive relationships are busy with the relationships and not spending time in forums. Plus, its much more common to use a forum to vent, rather than start a thread saying "Everything is just honky-dorry with me and my guy".

OT -
What constitutes a positive relationship for you? Does it include growth through some of the negatives encountered before and during a realtionship? Do you gather in all the data and create a positive spreadsheet?


Yes, certainly growth is an element of a positive relationship. No, there's no "data sheet" for me, but I do try to keep a objective eye on where the relationship is going. As been said many times, too often when our heart goes ka-thump, ka-thump we can overlook red flags, etc. At the same time, I also want to stay acutely aware of all the GOOD things about that person and not to let small, petty things get in the way of what could be something wonderful. In even the best of relationships, there are difficulties and things we have overcome or work through. To see that ability in both of us to work through those speed bumps and that ability to bring joy to each other - well, that's a huge part of what I consider to be a positive relationship.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Would you date a women bigger and more muscular then you?
Posted: 9/19/2009 2:52:22 PM

Are you sure that she doesn't have a penis too?


ummm... I'm pretty sure that would be a deal breaker for me
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Cautious and Confused
Posted: 9/19/2009 2:23:15 PM
I'm cautiously confused about women who want to come back after shutting you out!
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/18/2009 3:13:34 PM
arggg @ double post. Not sure how that happened. TGIF *sigh* Would a few of you click on "DELETE POST" on the last one so maybe the mod will take it off?
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:09:26 AM
Stress is part of life. Too much stress can be deadly - heart attacks and a multitude of other physical ailments can be caused by stress. Obviously, some handle stress (and full-plates) much better than others. Stress doesn't do well with me. I can handle a certain amount, but I make an effort to avoid it when at all possible (i.e., if I'm going on a date I leave the house early, so I'm not freaking at traffic because the back-up on the highway is going to make me late picking her up!)


~OT~ For the longest time I wondered why I had so much stress in my life, then I stepped away from some key individuals, and it was the strangest thing ~~ virtually stress-free. I really wasn't aware how seriously toxic some individuals can be. Today? I don't even feel stress with my most intense clients. It's amazing what it feels like to just love being in/on the world feels like.


Excellent point. Especially holds true in romantic relationships. Soon after my divorce I met this lady from my church with two small children. I fell in love with her and the kids and really wanted to make things work. She soon told me (almost proudly) that she was "choleric" and had "mood swings" I didn't fully understand what that meant, but soon found out after a year of the buzzsaw of ups and downs and random changes of temperament. I think a classic example of this was when one time I tried to suprise her by doing her dishes for her (we didn't live together). She came up to me somewhat upset and told me not to do that anymore. I asked why.... she said "you use too much rinse water!" This was one of the less hostile episodes, but you get the idea. Stressful relationship? yepper. Some other guy might have handled it better, but she kept my stomach in knots. Sad thing, she had a lot a great qualities, too, which is why I hung on as long as I could. But it finally dawned on me that the stress was destructive and it wasn't going to change, so I ended things.
You need to know your "stress-level". Some can have that plate full and still have a healthy relationship. Multi-tasking is a challenge to some and a detriment to others.

*why write a paragraph, when you can write a novel?*
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 41 (view)
 
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:06:55 AM
Stress is part of life. Too much stress can be deadly - heart attacks and a multitude of other physical ailments can be caused by stress. Obviously, some handle stress (and full-plates) much better than others. Stress doesn't do well with me. I can handle a certain amount, but I make an effort to avoid it when at all possible (i.e., if I'm going on a date I leave the house early, so I'm to freaking at traffice because the back-up on the highway is going to make me late picking her up!)


~OT~ For the longest time I wondered why I had so much stress in my life, then I stepped away from some key individuals, and it was the strangest thing ~~ virtually stress-free. I really wasn't aware how seriously toxic some individuals can be. Today? I don't even feel stress with my most intense clients. It's amazing what it feels like to just love being in/on the world feels like.


Excellent point. Especially holds true in romantic relationships. Soon after my divorce I met this lady from my church with two small children. I fell in love with her and the kids and really wanted to make things work. She soon told me (almost proudly) that she was "choleric" and had "mood swings" I didn't fully understand what that meant, but soon found out after a year of the buzzsaw of ups and downs and random changes of temperament. I think a classic example of this was when one time I tried to suprise her by doing her dishes for her (we didn't live together). She came up to me somewhat upset and told me not to do that anymore. I asked why.... she said "you use too much rinse water!" This was one of the less hostile episodes, but you get the idea. Stressful relationship? yepper. Some other guy might have handled it better, but she kept my stomach in knots. Sad thing, she had a lot a great qualities, too, which is why I hung on as long as I could. But it finally dawned on me that the stress was destructive and it wasn't going to change, so I ended things.
You need to know your "stress-level". Some can have that plate full and still have a healthy relationship. Multi-tasking is a challenge to some and a detriment to others.

*why write a paragraph, when you can write a novel?*
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Random Acts of Unkindness....
Posted: 9/18/2009 7:29:53 AM
Often times things we do to be polite/courteous are not rewarded with a thank you or even a nod. The OP received close to a rebuke, it seems.
On a Seinfeld episode, Jerry was driving in his car and allowed someone waiting into his lane. On receiving no positive acknowledgment, he complained "Hey! That guy didn't give me the 'thank-you wave'!"
I had to chuckle at that. I mean, when I'm trying to enter a busy lane of traffic and someone is so kind as to let me enter, I invaribly give them that nod and thank-you wave. And, I anticipate the same when giving someone else a break and letting them into my lane. I DO expect the thank-you wave, I guess it simply means "I acknowledge you did something nice for me".
Most of us do that, am I right? And when someone opens a door, especially when we have arms full of items, don't MOST of us nod and say "thanks!" Sure. When opening a door, the last thing we expect is a look of rebuke. So, I sympathize with the OP. But, you know, when I open that door or allow that person into my lane - I would like to think I do it simply because it is the right thing to do. Not because I will be rewarded with acknowledgment.
OP, you did the right thing. That guy, for whatever reason, was being a weenie. As MizBex said above, its on HIM, not on you.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Walking
Posted: 9/17/2009 3:59:33 PM
Walking = hiking minus the steroids
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
LTR - How much would you change about yourself?
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:04:13 AM
^^^^ I agree Ms Leona. Now, personally, I don't think EVERYTHING in a relationship is "negotiable", most everything can be understood/accepted by both parties. I think the core value thing is the key to non-negotiable. My partner doesn't have to share every core value I have, nor I hers... however, she and I should both know these values of the other and respect them. There just might be those core values that are in such conflict with mine (or hers) that the relationship is not worth pursuing, not as a LTR, at least. Hopefully, I mellowed enough that these will be few and far between.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Kanye West; He's a Jackass
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:26:18 PM

Ah, but was he backtracking because he "knew he was out of line"? Or did he backtrack because he knew a segment of the population would fly off the handle if he didn't; because he KNOWS that they're just lying in wait for the next sound byte to froth at the mouth over?


you must be referring to ACORN segment that will be PO'd that he trashed a rapper?
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 573 (view)
 
Men over 45 and facial hair
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:50:00 AM
I've had my mustache since I was in the Army. I guess I would feel strange without it. A much earlier post in this thread mentioned that if you use a good conditioner on facial hair, it won't be nearly so "itchy" to those ladies who complained of that. Certainly it is a personal preference, but I've always wondered if I met this really great lady, would I shave it for her? Thing is, on PoF, any lady viewing my profile KNOWS I have the mustache and if she was that opposed to men having facial hair she wouldn't contact me or reply to my contact to begin with, right?
Now, I have dated ladies that I met real-time, that mentioned they thought I'd look better without the mustache and met some who thought it made me look sexy.. *shrug*. Bottom line is that I'd probably would shave it for right lady, but I'd feel a bit naked for a few weeks, I think.
Is asking a man who has facial hair to shave it the same as asking a lady who dyes her hair red to not do so, because you really don't like redheads? (I DO like redheads, btw... and blondes... and brunettes....)
Let me ask the ladies who prefer no facial hair this: Is it a deal-breaker for you?
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
When did we become old fuddy duddies?
Posted: 9/7/2009 6:09:04 PM
I realized I was (or was becoming) a fuddy-duddy when I yelled at the neighbor kid for riding his bike through my grass....

Actually, it wasn't that bad of me, since I'd been busting my arse replanting grass in that area of yard. I remember a cartoon a few years ago portraying the Rolling Stones on their US tour 10 years from now singing "HEY! YOU! Get offa my grass!!"
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Pain... on the monthly payment plan or all at once?
Posted: 9/7/2009 3:27:43 PM
I have a low pain threshold emotionally. On the other side of the coin, I love being in love and knowing the joy it can bring. There is always the risk of pain. No matter how good of husband/wife or partner you are, that other person always has a choice to leave.
One night over dinner at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, my traveling companions and I were discussing the "pleasure/pain ratio". Meaning, wow, all the beauty you experienced hiking down, and sitting there soaking your feet in the cold Colorado and watching an eagle soar overhead. Yet, there would come that grueling, energy-sapping hike out, 8 miles long and a mile up... Was the pleasure of the experience worth the pain of the hike? Yep!
So it is, in my humble opinion, with a relationship. Do I want the pain little by little or all at once? Well, neither! But I know that risk of pain is there, do I think the pleasure of a true love relationship is worth that risk? Yepper.
Now, to stay purely on topic of the OP.... I'd rather have the pain all at once, given that choice!
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
How many share STD blood test results?
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:40:48 PM
I know when I give blood, they test me and mail me printed results of the blood test. I'm not sure how it is in other parts of the US, but it's a FREE way of getting tested where I live (and you may save a life with the blood you donate!)
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Has anyone else passed a weird test from a potential suitor?
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:32:52 PM
Tell him you are so glad that you passed his test and that you haven't "freaked out" since you purchased your 9mm (and that you're glad you know where he lives).
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Should I tell her hes a cheater!?
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:19:30 PM
Post on his Facebook wall that you've finally got those nakey pictures he wanted and what email address should you send them to? JUST KIDDING! Seriously, it's best to stay out of it. He sounds like a weenie and if he really is, this girl will find it out soon enough.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Childish Friends
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:32:33 PM
Question: if you remove someone from your friends list on Facebook, do they get an email notifying them of the deletion? I joined a few months ago, and met some old friends, a few relatives and a LOT of add requests, many I now regret adding. It's like many things on the internet - a neat concept that is easily abused.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
How much has your criteria changed?
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:51:23 AM
One criterion has not changed and I hope it never will - if you want to date me, you have to know that "criterion" is singular and "criteria" plural.

NAILS ON CHALKBOARD!!!! EEEEEKKKKKK!!!!


Well, when I wrote the subject line it sounded right. And, yeah, I know criteria is plural. I kinda saw "criteria" as a "group" or "list". Have your list changed? Has your list changed? hmmmm... I consulted a friend whose minor in college was English. He told me that he thought it could be expressed either way. LOL. Big help, that.

Anyway, I do know this much... I'd never date someone who was a Grammar Cop on a friggin' internet chat forum. And, if some lady writes me a passionate love letter, I won't fret if she doesn't cross a "t" or dot an "i", but that's just me.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
If you could do it all over again...
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:02:09 PM
I remember some time ago reading a church "marque" that said "Belief is having the roadmap, Faith is taking the journey". Kinda applies with you, I think and congrats on having the courage/faith to pursue your dream. I think it is almost never too late to make up for past regrets (except my dream of being in the NFL... I think the 6foot, 190 pound, over 50 thing is a bit of a barrier!) Too often we throw in the towel on things we had hoped to accomplish and I include myself in that list. Then again, I hiked the Grand Canyon when I turned fifty, though it took a lot of stair-stepping to get prepped for it.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How much has your "criteria" changed?
Posted: 8/30/2009 3:45:14 PM
Some time soon after turning 45 (I was divorced at 45) I began to notice that what I found attractive in the opposite sex had changed quite a bit (evolved?). Though the physical attraction is still a must for me, I find myself drawn much more by the personality/temperment of a lady.
I think when I was a young lad, the beauty/personality ratio was probably 65 percent looks and 35 percent personality. Now, I think that ratio has probably reversed. Why is this? Certainly life experience has taught me the value of a gentle spirit, but is it also because I've been taken in by the pretty face and my heart over-rode the brain and I ignored the obvious red flags? For whatever reason, what I desire in a mate has changed a lot since my youth. How about you?
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Are you trusting, optimistic, or both?
Posted: 7/20/2009 4:15:47 PM
Men seem to think because I have a caring and kind nature, that I am a doormat and that they can tell me anything and I will believe it. I won't, and then, that brings out the inner ugliness that they manage to hide so well from most. Yep, I have come to the painful realization that until I can trust my ability to choose worthy men, I am not going to do this online dating thing at this time.


No, no, no....... Leave because of a flake or two (or three) on here? I've been on chat rooms from AOL to Forums about fishing, guns, traveling, audio/video, health care, roses, etc, etc... In virtually EVERY ONE of them there were the token trolls, flamers, provokers, "Hey, look at me! See how rude I can be?" It IS frustrating, at times, no doubt. But.... I've met so many NICE people. Why do the jerks behave like they do? Easy... keyboard cowards. Flame out venom they wouldn't have the guts to say to your face. So easy to be rude from behind the keyboard and the anonymity of the internet. Ignore them. Don't let them run you off because of their nastiness.

I hope you don't bail out here, really. You ask well-worded and interesting questions. I think your replies are thoughtful and having depth. Don't let the weenies win. For the record, there ARE a lot of us "good guys" out here. We just sometimes get buried in the dust when the squeaking, bitter wheels spin their tires......

sorry for the rant... been a looong day already (had to edit this TWICE for typos *sigh)
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/19/2009 2:31:37 PM
sassy writes:


Dayton Dennis,
Exactly! Did he have time to call you on the way to see his friend? YEP. If I'm on my way to work and my Dad calls me and says my mom is in the hospital ER, I head that way, but I still call my boss and tell him what's going on and that I will either be late or not at work at all that day.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a big difference between your DAD calling you about your MOM and this stranger not calling her.

ummm, well, actually I was agreeing with you, unless I missed your original point entirely. MY point is that even with my mom in the emergency room (and this has happened 4 times in the last two years), I still have the presence of mind while on the way to the hospital to contact my boss, or other family members, or both if the situation calls for it. If I have a date this thursday evening and at four o'clock I get that call about my mom, yeah, I WILL call the lady I'm supposed to meet and explain the situation and why I won't be meeting her. To leave her sitting there wondering what happened and where I am is inexcusable, in my view. Yeah, I know he DID call her, but the timing rings suspicious. I used the example of my mom because she would of utmost importance even over a "friend" I think the guy should have called her and let her know as soon as he knew he would not be able to make the meeting. The "friend in an accident" smells fishy to me, to be honest. And okay, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and just say he was so concerned with his friends welfare that he just plain forgot about the meeting. If that were me, I'd be doing some major kissing-up to make up for it. Thats just me, though.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/19/2009 11:38:16 AM
Sassy says:

<div class="quote"> The more important thing is, did he ask right away to re-schedule? If he didn't then he's lying. If he seemed sincere in wanting to see you the next day, who knows?

Exactly! Did he have time to call you on the way to see his friend? YEP. If I'm on my way to work and my Dad calls me and says my mom is in the hospital ER, I head that way, but I still call my boss and tell him what's going on and that I will either be late or not at work at all that day.
He MIGHT have been telling you the truth, but he has some major kissing-up to do if that is the true story. Personally, I would be extremely suspect. What have you decided to do?
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
How Long
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:18:40 AM
That is a very very subjective issue. My divorce was very painful for me, as I loved her with all my heart and then to find that 1) she was leaving for another man and 2) she confessed to having a brief affair 4 years prior. *sigh* Now, I'm a pretty pragmatic guy and I took immediate steps to being healing/recoverying from that tragic loss in my life. I went to a church-based seminar called "Divorce Care" - a really nice program, btw. Each weeks film and then discussion dealt with each aspect of a divorce (finanical, healing, etc). That program suggested a person wait 1 year for each 10 years of marriage - or relationship in the case of this thread. Wow, I thought. I had been married 10 years and I had to wait A WHOLE YEAR to date someone new? I think not!!!
Of course, I went forth on my own to self-heal. The first couple relationships (well, just dates, actually) didn't go that well. I DID need time to heal. Thinking back, though, I think it is really hard to put a specific time frame on anyone. Some folks heal quickly, while others drag the pain/anger around with them for years and years.
My biggest issue was (and still is, to some degree) TRUST. It took me a little while to realize that any new person in my life was NOT to blame for what my ex did. Thats pretty hard for most of us, IMHO.
So... how long? That depends on the person. I don't think you can come up with an arbitrary benchmark that will cookie-cutter fit every person. To me, the main thing is what part of the break up/ending of the relationship caused you the greatest pain? Are you over that? Have you gotten beyond that and the potential of blaming that new person for the wounds you got from the old person? If so, go for it! Just take it slow and easy and watch for the signs of burdening the new person in your life with the sins of the one you parted from.
Dennis *feeling a bit cosmic and full of coffee this morning*
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Does facial hair on men over 45 make them look older or younger?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:09:07 AM
Spicy says:


Sorry Dennis but if we were dating I'd ask you to shave the mo....................LOL. So lucky for you there's no chance of that


Oh, Spicy, if we were dating, I'd shave my LEGS for you! *cough* But I guess we'll never know *sigh*

Going back ON topic, I've always wondered if I would shave my mustache for a lady if she asked me to. History of my mustache is that I started growing it (many moons ago) about 3 weeks before a comrade of mine was killed next to me in combat, and I've kinda worn it in honor of him ever since. (sorry if that sounds odd to you) Am I now "wedded" to it so much that I wouldn't shave it for the right lady? Nope. My comrade lives in my heart and mind, not in my mustache. That lady would be "real time" and I'm sure my departed buddy would kick me in the arse if I didn't shave it for her. *Dennis needs more coffee*
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Does facial hair on men over 45 make them look older or younger?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:09:50 AM
Sassy says:

It all depends upon what color it is. If the hair on your head (if you have any) is brown and your beard or mustache comes in white....................................


All I can say is thank God for Just4Men.... *cough*
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Gambling, in any shape or form
Posted: 7/18/2009 5:01:36 AM
Some years ago my ex and another couple were touring the southwest and of course we had to visit Vegas. My friend has this "system" from some book he wrote on how to better your odds at blackjack. Well, we used that "system" and I won $105 (this was back in the 80's) We were also at the $1 table (they don't exist anymore, and the $5 tables are usually packed). Going into it, we all decided that we would start with $100 in chips and when that was gone, we were gone. Heck, we played at the table for a several hours, even with my friend losing his money (the ladies wandered off to the slots)
Leap ahead 10 years to my last visit (solo this time). Same strategy, different casino. I started winning and winning.... was up to $490 ahead!! woo hoo! SHOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY.... but oh, no...I just HAD to reach$500. I didn't . Slowly it began to whither away. I even placed a $100 bet! Rich man, me! Ha. Lost that hand, too. Finally it was all gone except $20 in chips, so I walked away. I had started with the $100 rule, so I was basically out $80. And had fun for over 4 hours at the table (with free drinks!)
Morale of the story - go into the casino with a SET AMOUNT that you are willing to lose. When that amount is gone, you be gone. Blackjack and roulette can suck your money away fairly quickly. Read up on how to play before you sit down and your money will last longer. Go play some quarter slot machines and you will last much much longer. Bottom line is that Vegas (or Reno) don't have all their bright lights and cheap buffets because YOU are winning. Stick to a set amount, spread it around, go watch the fountains, etc and you'll have a great time. Just my 2 cents on the table.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Facial hair on men over 45 - make them look older or younger - why?
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:40:18 AM
Okay, this is a two-part question. Now, I have a mustache and I think it makes me look younger (of course, that is a biased viewpoint) But ladies (or guys), do you think a mustache and/or a beard makes a man appear older than his years or does it depend on whether its just a mustache rather than a beard? There was this guy I worked with in the post office many years ago who was 45 (I was 25 at the time) and he had this really great mustache and I thought he looked 35 rather than the 45 he actually was. I transferred out of that post office, but ran into him about 4 or 5 years later - he had shaved off his mustache and I thought he looked 20 years older. Of course, maybe he'd just had a very bad 5 years life experience since I saw him last.
Second part - I have seen some ladies on here expressing that they wanted a man who was "clean shaven". I'm a bit confused about that. Does that mean absolutely NO facial hair, including no mustache?
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 89 (view)
 
What do women over 50 find desirable and undesirable in a man's profile?
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:20:31 AM
singles49 writes:

6. in your profile, dont list undecided for do you want children......by your age you should know


ummm... well, I'm not sure I understand this. I figured that profile question didn't specify "Do you want to father/bear a new child". I took it to mean "Would you still consider a lady/man if they have children who are still living at home" Maybe the question is too ambigious, but I did answer "undecided". Now, at my age do I want to father a new child? Nope. Would I consider marrying a lady who had a teenager at home? Undecided. Let me meet your child... if he sneers at me and gives me a rude hand gesture, the "undecided" becomes a NO. If he shakes my hand and even laughs at my stupid jokes, well... leaning toward the YES. Or am I completely misunderstanding the profile question? If so, I'll bet I'm not alone and if a lady sees "undecided" as a deal breaker, she may be missing out on some nice guys. Am I making any sense here?
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Shades, Shorts and I got to dress Funky?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:47:21 PM
Hey, if I wink at you, do you think this thread will get deleted too? p.s. call me DENNIS
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 83 (view)
 
What kind of man/woman do you think you attract?
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:33:27 AM

Dayton said: Though she expressed "love" to me over the phone, she kept making excuses why she couldn't meet me, even breaking planned dates.


Eeek eek eek red flags are waving.. Love over the phone.. Is that some kinda new style of dating better known as Delusional Dating?

thecatsmeoww


Hey! Give me a break! I was a internet rookie then. I am a wiser now, but saying you love me still makes my heart go ka-thump ka-thump
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 81 (view)
 
What kind of man/woman do you think you attract?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:08:25 AM
Dennis <== psycho babe magnet. Need to put in my profile "Those with lobotomy scars need not apply" (Now if you've actually HAD a lobotomy, I apologize)

Seriously, though... since my first ventures on the internet around '95, I think I've attracted quite a mixed group of ladies. My AOL Profile was pretty detailed, yet I would get IM's from ladies who eventually challenged me on my beliefs, even though I had expressed them specifically in the profile. Obviously they hadn't even taken the time to read it through. I've had had my share of strange women, though. Probably the weirdest (and one I was really suckered into) claimed in the course of our conversations that she worked for the CIA. Loooong story, but if you knew it, you might understand why I was so easily taken in. *major sigh* Though she expressed "love" to me over the phone, she kept making excuses why she couldn't meet me, even breaking planned dates. It became weirder and weirder, then my brain over-ruled my heart and I began putting the pieces (or rather MISSING pieces) together. DUH ON ME! I had a lady on AOL start emailing me and I REALLY started liking her, but same thing, she kept avoiding meeting me in person. Finally, she confessed that the picture in her profile wasn't her - it was of her brother's girlfriend. Major kick in the groin, that. awell.... My co-worker would chuckle at every online story I would relate to him and he finally deemed me "The Psycho-Babe Magnet"
 
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