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 Author Thread: First date etiquette
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 15 (view)
 
First date etiquette
Posted: 3/1/2017 2:39:01 PM

On average in these days of equality erm... men still get paid on average far more than women so I think its a nice touch for a man to pay on first date,gentlemanly and yes I have paid half on occasions... tend to think ,cheapskate!


So when you're out with friends who earn less than you, you pay for them? Or will *you* be the cheapskate?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 14 (view)
 
First date etiquette
Posted: 3/1/2017 2:34:28 PM

When you only paid half she saw it as an insult. Its the equivalent of her telling you that your car is rubbish.


So I said "Yes, my car is rubbish, but your shoes are fabulous. So I'll drive home..."
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1003 (view)
 
bald guys
Posted: 3/1/2017 2:14:48 PM
Wow, Grover you look completely different with hair. You totally owned the look and it's like you're not you any more.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Implications of charging members per Message sent ?
Posted: 3/1/2017 11:02:30 AM
Very few people would pay to send a message to which they might not get a reply. What you'd end up with is profiles containing email addresses in code and almost no one sending messages through the site. Oh, and even more of the accursed "Meet Me" requests.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 5 (view)
 
do you use a swimming pool
Posted: 3/1/2017 10:55:34 AM
Fish swim in their own pee without the benefit of chlorine to sterilize it.

It's an unpleasant thought but I don't think it's actually a threat healthwise.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Short men. A lost battle?
Posted: 3/1/2017 10:49:49 AM

Can someones height not be modified via surgery?
By severing your legs and inserting some Meccano in the gap? Probably, but why bother? Either date a woman who doesn't wear high heels or start wearing them yourself.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Should 'catfishing' be made illegal?
Posted: 3/1/2017 10:36:14 AM
If it became a crime to lie in an online profile, the internet would be deserted. Just look at the average POF profile. Old pictures or pictures of someone else, taking ten years or more off your age, PhD translates to failed the eleven plus, attached people pretending to be single, and "own business" means trying to sell the contents of your loft on ebay.

I think a reasonably intelligent person should expect the majority of profiles to be embellished in some way, or to have some important omissions. Scepticism allows for pleasant surprises, while unfeasible expectations can only lead to one thing: disappointment - the standard emotional state of the gullible.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Nipple Orgasm - Does it Exist?
Posted: 2/10/2017 5:33:25 AM

I once a girlfriend who did orgasm from breast play.
She wanted them handled roughly and nipples bitten VERY hard.


I was once in the opposite situation: She liked to bite. It quickly went from moderately pleasurable to extremely unpleasant with nothing in between. I think you have to be a bit of a mind reader to know where someone's 'just right' level is. And I know people will say why not just tell your partner if you want more or less, but I don't want play to feel like Brucie's play your cards right.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Help!!
Posted: 2/9/2017 2:44:52 PM

I only ask them Hi how are you


I think that's the reason. If someone has made the effort to write something informative about themselves in their profile - and it's difficult to do that without it looking like a c.v. - then I think most people will appreciate some indication that you've read it. I certainly do. I look on profile info as a prelude to conversation - after all, if there's nothing in it that interests you why are you writing to them in the first place? So I always allude to it. Apart from anything else it tells the recipient I'm paying attention, taking an interest and not just looking at photos.
Probably more than half the initial messages I get are just "Hi how are you?" or similar. I never respond to those and it wouldn't surprise me if women don't respond to them either.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1211 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 2/9/2017 2:33:00 PM
OK, I'll tell you what *this* 50+ man wants:

Most of the things he wanted when he was 20.
But with some slight modifications.

For example... when you're 20 you make love all night because you can't stop yourself. When you're 50 you make love all night because that's how long it takes!
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Likeminded
Posted: 2/9/2017 2:17:34 PM

Cue next thread about OPs current POF adventure :)


Watch this space... experiment nearing completion and the girls are going to hate the result. :)
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 4 (view)
 
First date etiquette
Posted: 2/4/2017 8:23:29 PM

I would have paid and never contacted her again.


And she would have chalked up another freebie.

I'll carry on because I'm talking to and meeting some interesting people, but I have to say so far the majority have been arseholes.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
 
First date etiquette
Posted: 2/4/2017 3:03:46 PM

even if they offer i never know if it's that gesture thing or they really mean it
Easy way to find out is to accept. Just make sure the waiter has already taken the knives away.
But like yourself, I'll refuse the offer whether I think it's genuine or not. The situation I'm alluding to was that she asked me to go to a particular restaurant, ordered the most expensive dish on the menu and left it practically untouched, ordered champagne and drank it all herself, and actually *pointed at me* when the waiter approached with the bill.

You should see the texts I've been getting from her.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1 (view)
 
First date etiquette
Posted: 2/4/2017 2:05:15 PM
No doubt this has been done before but I don't want to spend ages searching for an old thread to bump up, so...

Whether it's upbringing, social conditioning or extinct I don't presume to know, however it's a fact that I don't want a lady to pay for me.

However, there are exceptions:

Obviously if I invite someone to a show or a fancy restaurant then obviously it's going to cost money and I shouldn't presume what they can afford so clearly it's my treat.
On the other hand if she insists on deciding the venue then equally she shouldn't presume.

So I paid my half and walked out leaving her looking furious. My question is what on Earth made her think she had a right to be angry?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Likeminded
Posted: 2/4/2017 1:52:27 PM
I didn't ask for "advise"[sic] I asked why.
And no you didn't make up a new word, you fluked an existing one.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Does size matter?
Posted: 2/4/2017 1:45:14 PM

Oh I understood


Obviously you didn't because the question was why specify that you want a man who's taller than you then make yourself taller than him?

If you want to talk about insecurity, let's have a look and see which sex it is that's constantly trying to outdo each other with artificial enhancements. Fake hair, fake tits, lies about their age, makeup applied with a trowel... WHO's insecure?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Does size matter?
Posted: 2/4/2017 8:14:33 AM
My thanks go to Kirk for being the only person to read and understand the original post.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Instant turnoffs in profiles
Posted: 2/4/2017 8:04:43 AM

Pouting!


Oh please, don't get me started.

99% of men think Victoria Beckham is an idiot, and 99% of women want to emulate her.
Seriously girls, what are you playing at? You post a dozen virtually identical pictures of yourself (taken twenty years ago) that basically say "I expect you to want to f*ck me because I can pull a face like a goldfish", say nothing about yourself then complain that anyone who takes that primitive bait is "only after one thing".
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 4 (view)
 
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition
Posted: 2/4/2017 7:55:11 AM

I was once asked what make and model of car i drive, when i answered she came back with "What year"?


And you said, "I drive it *every* year."
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1 (view)
 
"Likeminded"
Posted: 2/4/2017 7:47:59 AM
Of all the POF clichés, this has to be the least useful.
Without a context - which it *never* has on here - it is completely meaningless.

Likeminded = sharing similar opinions, ideas or interests. No sh*t, Sherlock, and how is anyone supposed to know whether they are "likeminded" if you haven't said what those opinions, ideas or interests are?

People seem to be just using words they've seen other people using. Why? I don't get it.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1 (view)
 
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition
Posted: 2/2/2017 3:53:48 PM
And yet...

Seriously ladies, if you want my life story ask me in person.

I don't get the logic of trying to learn all there is to know about someone before you meet them... what are you going to talk about when you do meet?

"Why have you never married?"
"Why did your last relationship end?"
"Why don't you have a twitter account?"

Do they really expect meaningful answers to questions like that in a text message or are they just wasting people's time for the hell of it?

Rant over.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1195 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 2/2/2017 1:03:52 PM

Mother always said the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.


Take it too literally and you'll soon discover that it's the way to his heart... attack!

Maybe that's the real strategy.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 7 (view)
 
POF Unwritten Ettiquete
Posted: 1/31/2017 5:08:10 PM

Surely logging on here, looking and checking messages suggest you are not content with you lot and are still looking for someone else/better?
Personally I wouldn't expect exclusivity after three dates. Sorry to be blunt but a lot of people are here hoping to find "the one" and I think it's a bit much to expect that you're it when you've barely met. For all you know she could have several ongoing chats and outstanding arrangements that were made before you and she made contact. Love at first sight is A) rare and B) notoriously unstable. Personally I would take encouragement from the fact you're still seeing each other regardless of whether she's still using the site. It's not how many she tries that's important but the one that's left at the end. I'd say be patient... you both have the right to explore your options before making a choice. What's the hurry?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Emoticons in message
Posted: 1/31/2017 11:25:32 AM
Maybe a browser thing then, because I see the smileys but no code for them anywhere.

/shrugs
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Pointless criteria
Posted: 1/31/2017 11:16:34 AM

Exactly. I can feel a 'why do women prefer bad boys?' thread coming on.


Go for it. :-D
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I bet you say that to all the girls...
Posted: 1/31/2017 11:15:24 AM
Well no, actually, I don't.

Is anyone else getting this: You write a message to someone, deliberately alluding to things they've mentioned in their profile so they know you're paying attention, and they accuse you of C&P-ing. This happens to me a lot.

Take me to the wall so I can bang my head against it. :-D
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Emoticons in message
Posted: 1/31/2017 10:57:46 AM
Since there's no smiley list and the BB code doesn't show up in quoted posts, would I be right in thinking they're all coming from phones rather than PCs?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Pointless criteria
Posted: 1/31/2017 10:53:27 AM

I think this is one of those topics that has been done to death...


...and then new people come along and talk about it some more. You're never in your life going to have or hear a conversation that a billion other people haven't already had.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Does this also happen to blokes?
Posted: 1/31/2017 10:49:35 AM
There are stories from members of both sexes whose hopes and expectations have been dashed. But not as many, so it seems to me, from men as from women.
Maybe the men aren't as willing to tell everyone how they were duped/let down/exploited etc, but yeah, it happens.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Pointless criteria
Posted: 1/31/2017 10:39:21 AM
I read things like No Players, No Cheats, No Liars and I have to ask myself what anyone is trying to accomplish by writing that.
Can we take it as read that *no one* wants to meet a liar, a cheat, etc? Can we also accept the fairly obvious fact that a liar and a cheat isn't going to be deterred by you stating that you don't want one? Seriously, how are you modelling the thought process here? Is the liar supposed to think "Oh dear, they don't want a liar... I'll keep looking for someone who does"? No, of course not, they're liars aren't they? That means they're going to try to convince you that they're not.

Now flip it around: If you *don't* say that you're not interested in cheats, do you think the cheat will think that means you are? There are so many clichés in the profile... hell I may be guilty of some myself, I don't know, but there are some things that are just not worth saying because they're so bleedin obvious.

"Genuine". "Honest". Yeah, right, like anyone is ever going to admit that they're not. Sheesh!
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Kink shamimg
Posted: 1/31/2017 6:18:24 AM

I've not had sex with an alien yet


Our method is similar to yours except for the egg whisk and pine cone.

Zog.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Instant turnoffs in profiles
Posted: 1/29/2017 3:30:16 PM

Think this topic has been done to death….


So you won't be contributing then?


About the worst thing for me is to see a wall of text...


Ah. Resurrection.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Liars & Gameplayers
Posted: 1/29/2017 7:07:35 AM
A word of advice, OP: Capslocking your irritation in here isn't going to change the behaviour that prompted it. If you're not interested in how often a girl works out, don't make contact with those who place importance on it. That's why people write profiles... so you can see if you're compatible. If you're not... move on. And just because she says she's not insisting on a six pack doesn't mean anyone without a six pack will do. Chances are there are some other qualities she will appreciate in a man... like not shouting at the world just because beautiful women aren't lining up to worship at his feet.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Why won't some girls swap pics but wanna meet
Posted: 1/29/2017 6:53:52 AM
Why would anyone refuse to let you know what they look like before meeting you?

Well, here's one possibility:

She arrives at the bar early and waits for you. She sits in a dark corner trying to look inconspicuous. But she has seen a picture of you... it might be an unclear one and she doesn't know if it's recent, so when you arrive she can check you out without you knowing she's there. If she doesn't like the look of you she can just leave then make up some crap like her car broke down.

Or - and this is infinitely more likely - she has lied about her age, is not as good looking as she has led you to believe, and hopes you'll be too polite to just up and leave when you find out.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Kink shamimg
Posted: 1/29/2017 6:21:53 AM
No one (apart from the person you're being kinky with) gives a damn about your kinks unless you're famous and they're writing for the gutter press. I don't care what my neighbour is doing unless she's doing it with me and I don't think The Donald cares what I'm doing, so why should I care what goes on lawfully behind his closed door?
Powerful people are human? Wow. Shock horror!
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 120 (view)
 
How Important is Sex in a Relationship????
Posted: 1/29/2017 6:13:33 AM
It's a 10. It has to be. If you want it a lot, that's important, obviously. It's also important if you want it a little because if you don't both have the same sexual *appetite* one of you is going to be disappointed/frustrated and may be looking to stray. If you embark on a long term relationship without settling this issue at the outset, then it isn't going to be as long term as you'd like.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Does size matter?
Posted: 1/29/2017 5:43:03 AM

Here we go again lol. I bet you corrected that from "And yet without exception" before posting it, am I right? ;)
Of course. You think I'm going t let you catch me making the same mistake twice? :-)
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Does size matter?
Posted: 1/29/2017 3:33:35 AM
I meant *My question. No edit function.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Does size matter?
Posted: 1/29/2017 3:30:04 AM
I'm talking about height, obviously.

You see, I'm a bit confused. Most men don't want to date a woman who is taller than he is and most women don't want to date a man who is shorter than she is. A difference of three to six inches seems to be about the going rate.

And yet with almost no exceptions, women are psychologically unable to engage in any kind of social interaction without a pair of Eiffel towers strapped to their feet. It doesn't matter how tall they are to begin with, high heels are an absolute necessity and it seems not to matter that apart from a few highly experienced professional models they look like Bambi on ice the moment they try to move.

Why question is this... why specify that you want a taller man, then go to meet him wearing six inch heels that you know in advance will make you taller than him?
If he turned up wearing six inch heels to maintain the natural order, you'd think he was weird, wouldn't you?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Instant turnoffs in profiles
Posted: 1/28/2017 2:43:38 PM

holding a fish.
What is that all about? Also "solemate". Never sure whether it's a bad pun or bad spelling. Either way it's a bit wearing when you've seen it a thousand times.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 54 (view)
 
not ending up in the friend zone
Posted: 1/28/2017 2:33:49 PM

No guy wants to be in the friend zone

It sucks

but what are some ways to stay out of it?
Hit on her sister. There are a number of possible outcomes with one thing in common...whatever happens you definitely won't be in the FZ any more.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Trying to have children after a lady is 40
Posted: 1/28/2017 2:21:48 PM

So anybody who decides to have kids should consider at what age the kids' will be financially stable enough to pay for a parent's funeral?
I think you're deliberately missing the point. If it hasn't even occurred to think about the increased likelihood of leaving kids orphaned at a young age and what impact that will have on them is just downright selfish IMO. How's a kid gonna feel if his dad is the only one at the school sports day parents race with a zimmer frame? How's he gonna feel when his classmates ask him why his grandma always picks him up from school and he has to admit that it's actually his mother? How's going to play catch with his dad when his dad when his dad has arthritis in both hands? How's he going to feel when he meets his girlfriend's parents and finds they're younger than his siblings?

Old people reproducing is just plain wrong because it condemns the child to grow up feeling weird and increases the chance they'll be burying their parents while they're still at school. It's egotistical and it's cruel.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 986 (view)
 
bald guys
Posted: 1/28/2017 2:04:21 PM

only time it might bug me is when I got nothing to hold onto
Shouldn't be an issue unless you're dating a guy with no ears.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Increasing your chances to date someone with high education level
Posted: 1/28/2017 8:24:12 AM
Maybe they're worried that if you're smart enough to get a degree you'll be smart enough to figure out that their profile pictures are twenty years old.
Obviously that doesn't require degree smarts, but most women on POF seem to believe that all men really are dumb enough not to notice.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 140 (view)
 
When did men stop bathing?
Posted: 1/28/2017 8:16:19 AM
Maybe some people don't notice their own odour, but surely you have to notice if you're always the last person on the bus that anyone sits next to?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Trying to have children after a lady is 40
Posted: 1/28/2017 5:31:49 AM
Instead of this battle of the sexes point scoring, consider the morality of having children when you're middle aged. How are you going to relate to a teenager when you're in your sixties or seventies? How are they going to take you seriously? And how are they going to afford to pay for your funeral if they haven't even left school? There are more than enough people in the world as it is without ego-tripping middle class show offs making babies as fashion accessories.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 1/28/2017 5:19:57 AM
The weirdest message I've had so far wasn't a reply to an intro, it was the intro...

"Hi, I read your profile and you sound like just my type but your curtains are hideous! So disappointing. Good luck in your search"

W T F ?
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 983 (view)
 
bald guys
Posted: 1/28/2017 5:14:25 AM
If it's good enough for Patrick Stewart it's good enough for me. :)
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 184 (view)
 
Do you hide your political affiliation on dates?
Posted: 1/28/2017 5:11:46 AM

Once upon a time, it was my understanding that politics and religion were never discussed in polite society.
And sex.
I still don't think it's necessary to go into too much detail on a first date, but they're not as taboo as they once were. I pray when I'm dying, vote when I think it's important, and f*ck as often as possible and if anyone wants to ask me those questions on a date then I don't expect them to pretend to be shocked by my answer.
 LincsAndy
Joined: 1/14/2017
Msg: 297 (view)
 
Facial hair on men over 45 - make them look older or younger - why?
Posted: 1/28/2017 4:51:19 AM
Facial stubble makes me look younger OR older, depending on whether my head is shaved, which it usually is. That's now... when I was overweight, facial hair *always* made me look older.
 
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