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 Author Thread: Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 4/27/2010 2:02:51 PM
lightbite:
Actually how it happened was, she had come to my house to pick up the 2 oldest children for a court ordered visit. She had a few large bags with her and sat them on the bench by the front door. As she was putting the icoats on...I opened the bags thinking she had bought some clothes for the kids and I wanted to wash them before they put them on. What I pulled out of the bags was very skimpy, almost non-existant lingerie, lol I asked her what they were for and she told me that she got a job "go-go dancing"aka stripping. Thats how I found out. Nothing fishy at all about it.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 4/22/2010 1:18:20 PM
UPDATE as of 4/14/10.......Posted update on 4/22/10

Well now I have all 3 babies and have had the 3rd child (10 months) since last wednesday. Thats it just wanted to keep all the supportive posters up to date. Thank you all so much. I don't really feel like going into to great detail right now but I will post more info later about how and why I have the 3rd child as well.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 3/31/2010 12:22:34 PM
BUMP=Bring Up My Post
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/15/2010 6:08:59 PM
Alooo:
My Child IS NOT A SPOILED KID just because her Prom Dress happens to cost $250 and she found the perfect Jimmy Choo shoes to match. If I can afford it WHO are you to question or make snide remarks and this is coming from a woman that has No kids and Doesn't Want Any according to your profile......Bite Me.
As a matter of fact my daughter deserves much more....she is a straight A (4.0) student and has been since 7th grade.
I do agree that the young lady should be able to go to Prom with whom she wants to go with......there is no disagreement there. I never said that "this fight is futile"....I believe the poster below my initial post stated that......perhaps you should learn to read and quote appropriately.
I still think that the young lady should have just gone to the Prom and not alert the school officials. AND YES it could have been done.....all she had to was walk in with a male friend and her girlfriend do the same. Once in the door they could be a couple again.....its not that hard to do......
Should she have to do this........absolutely NOT....but look at the result, now there is NO PROM for anyone, so what good did it do to go to the authorities. I am quite sure she knew what their reaction was going to be from the beginning. Still its very sad that this happened especially today.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
would you call CAS on a friend?
Posted: 3/14/2010 4:50:02 PM
Absolutely I would make that call. In fact I actually did several times on my own child.
Another Poster asked "could you live with yourself if something happened to the child and you didn't call? Well could you??? The worst thing that will happen is the mother will get a wake up call and hopefully she will take better care of her child knowing that someone is watching. You didn't state that she physically abused the child so unless there is proof the child probably won't be removed from her custody. Hopefully this will the wake up call she needs to do right by her child. OP Please make the call if you haven't already.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Over 50 W/Youngins, I need Some Hand Holding
Posted: 3/14/2010 4:33:08 PM
Hello Cutting Loose:
I am in the same boat....I have a 6.5 son and a 13 year old daughter at home PLUS I have custody of 2 grandchildren ages 2 & 3 years. Think you have it bad.....wanna trade, lol Too bad you don't live in New York.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/13/2010 9:51:03 AM
Actually alot more than 600.00, lol We live in New York City and the dress she just "absolutely has to have" is 250.00 , lol I am not even going to start with the Shoes (Jimmy Choo) and the Limo I am going to have foot all by myself (I lost a bet).
Right now I am glad we live In New York because this would never be an issue up here. It has been "popular" with the students as early as 9th grade to be "bi-sexual/gay" even though they may not really be. I personally don't care what the students sexual orientation is.....with 7 kids (5 girls /2 boys) I always figured if your with the same sex then no surprise pregnancies to hit me with but then again my "bi-sexual"daughter has 3 kids and I have custody of 2 of the kids SOOOOO there goes my thinking right out the window, lol Oh well love the kids and I don't mind the lifestyle..as long as they don't try to shove it down my throat..we are all good.
I feel bad for the kid and the rest of her school though.....to punish all for one doesn't seem fair. I really don't see what the big deal is. Maybe she should have just showed up with her date on Prom night. Why announce it to the world and give them the advantage .See what happens when you open your mouth too much
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Are there some people incapable of falling in love at this age?
Posted: 3/13/2010 9:33:28 AM
I am sure there are people that are afraid to fall in love because of their past experiences.
Just as I am sure there are people that would love to fall in love because of their past experiences.
I personally believe that people are always able to do anything they want to do BUT if they don't really want to do something then they will do everything to "sabatoge" their chance at whatever is that they thought they wanted to do.....make sense???? Maybe not consciously but subconsciously ruin their chance because deep down they are afraids of rejection or afraid of what will happen in the future. But then again this is JMHO/my 2cents worth
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
First Date - Should It Be Special??
Posted: 3/13/2010 9:26:34 AM
After the initial meet/greet, if there is a "first date".......does it really matter?? You actually get to go on a real life "date".............Whoopppeee. I wouldn't care where it was as long as you have great conversation and have a connection with a real, alive, breathing male species, lol
Save the Special Place Dates when it actually is a "Special Occasion"...JMHO
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Facial Piercings over 50
Posted: 3/13/2010 9:22:07 AM
One of my daughters (22) has more holes in her face due to piercings than any normal person has holes in their body naturally, lol I don't get it and will never understand the need to put metal sticks/rods on your face. And for someone at the age of 50.......I would assume that they have completely lost all sense of reality and trying to re-live their youth
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 84 (view)
 
battling mid life bulge!
Posted: 3/13/2010 9:17:41 AM
OP I am 49 and thankfully not fighting a weight issue right now. In fact I never have except when I was a teen I made "Twiggy" look fat. Having 7 kids put a little weight on me but I always went right back down to 120 after each birth EXCEPT for the last one...he added 20 pounds to my body that I can't get off for the life of me. SO I quit after 3 years of trying........Actually a size 9 is perfect. I think (and this is just my opinion) that a size 2-4 is too small. I know from experience when I was a size 2 my spine felt like it was touching my stomach all the time, and a size 4 wasn't much better. Now I am a size 5/6 and I feel alot better health wise.
Don't worry about what a "man" may want. When you find the right man he will love your size "9"........
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Winks on Match and Yahoo
Posted: 3/13/2010 8:40:44 AM
I joined a bunch of dating sites about ten years ago and alot of them were "free" for women.....then.
But now and for sometime....women have to pay just like men........WHY??? (just kidding)
Anyway I wasn't about to pay because someone winked/poked/tickled ME Supposedly on some a dating site So I figured out right away that the dating site rigged/sent these pokes/prods/winks to me to get my money, lol
SO if they/dating sites wanted to play with ones heart......2 could play at that game.
This is what I did and surprisingly it worked.....I would embed my email address within the profile. Sometimes I would hint at it or actually put part of my email address in " " as a caption underneath several pictures. NOW here is the catch....not an awful lot of men would catch on to the hint.......theres always a drawback to any scheme, lol
So here I am at POF and guess what.............still no man, lol I give up guys.......
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Collective Punishment Over Same-Sex Prom Date
Posted: 3/13/2010 8:22:52 AM
As a parent of a Senior who had to pay over 300.00 for her Prom (just the dues) not including her gown, shoes, flowers, limo etc......My question would be....where is the money?????
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 136 (view)
 
What do you think about men our age with small kids??
Posted: 3/13/2010 8:01:08 AM
My youngest is 6.5.....yes he was my OOPS baby, lol As for men "Our Age" with younger childen....."Bring Em Baby".......if I don't have to go through Pregnancy, Labor and Delivery......I can pretty much deal with anything else that follows. Besides I have custody of 2 grandkids ages 2 & 3 years...so who am I to talk, lol I personally don't care......I love children.....mine, yours...who evers. All kids need all the love they can get these days so for me personally...........Bring Em Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 130 (view)
 
THE CHANGE! ie Menopause.. How did it affect you or you other.
Posted: 3/13/2010 7:47:56 AM
I'm 49 and Still Waiting on the "The Change" to even give me a Hint/Glimmer of what is or may come, lol NOT even a flicker mind you....drats!!!!!!!!
I have been "praying" (I never pray) for "Menapause/The Change" for the past 13 years or so.....and NOTHING.....NADA......NOTHING,
I give up.................I'll be Fertile Myrtle Forever........Thank God/Doctors/Pharmacutical Companys for the IUD.......
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 53 (view)
 
deadbeat moms
Posted: 3/12/2010 5:29:15 AM
Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.......
If a woman is a deadbeat mom then she should have to pay just like the deadbeat dad....same punishment, no difference
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/27/2010 12:53:17 AM
Repair-Guy:
I didn't put my children in danger nor did I lose custody of them due to my stupidity.
Nor was I ever a dancer/stripper. She is her own person and she makes the decisions she makes because she chooses to make them. I never walked the path she has taken (nor came even close to it) so it is impossible for her to be following me.
I don't want "kudos" or "appreciation" for loving and protecting my grandchildren......thats a ridiculous statement.
I only posted on this forum for possible advice on how to care for and keep custody of my grandchildren until my daughter is mentally and physically able to care for HER CHILDREN HERSELF. And I for the most part have received some excellent advice.

And The Family Court Judge agrees with me ....if she didn't the children would have been returned to my daughter earlier this month. So I can't be that completely wrong in my assessment of the situation. No One knows better my family dynamics...not the Acs Caseworker, Not the Law Guardian, None of the Attorneys Nor the Judge.... BETTER than I do. And according to the Judge... (and I QUOTE)..."If the Maternal Grandmother, who has been the most supportive and caring adult in this family is coming before the Court NOW and requesting Permanent Custody of these Children after all this family has been through, this action alone speaks volumes to the court. This action makes me question the validity of all the reports that I have been given so far in respect to the placement of these children". (UNQUOTE)
My daughter created this mess and I am simply trying control the collateral damage to the children. AND thats the only thing I am trying to control...nothing else.
But you can believe what you like...it makes no difference to me. It Won't change how I proceed in caring for and protecting my grandchildren.

"Nanna the Savior am I"
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/26/2010 4:22:15 PM
Notatowniegirl:
As usual YOU only read and quote (if one can call it that) what you choose to read/quote.

The purpose of the weekend visitation is for the children to be around their mother for the weekend, that would be almost impossible if she is stripping/dancing at night(when the kids are asleep) and completely hung over during the day, and unable to function properly to bathe, feed and care for the children and maintain the house during the day (when the kids are awake). I know how my daughter is when she is completely hung over and unable to function after her drinking sprees. She is not one to have 1 or 2 drinks......she only stops when she is completely passed out.
AND yes this is about the children and what is in their best interest. It is not in the best interest of the children to be in a household where this is domestic violance (daughter had black eye and boyfriend has split lip when they came to pick up babies this weekend). It is not in the best interest of the children to be around their mother after she has smoked marijuana, snorted cocaine and/or still hung over from alcohol.

A Job?? Okay you got me on that one.... Good for you......feel better now. I suppose one could call Dancing/Stripping a JOB.......BUT what happens when one of her "customers" follows her home to where my grandchildren are sleeping???? You don't think very far into the future ....do you???
If you have a daughter....would you support her becoming a stripper/dancer/whore??? I bet you would....its her life....right??? And "I am not raking her over the coals"....SHE chose to tell me that she had a Job (she actually gloated) and what she would be doing. SHE told me the name and location of the bar, I didn't even want to know nor did I ask for any of this information.

BTW........I am so Thankful YOU are not my daughter .....One Pain in Arse, Judgemental Sarcastic Know-It-All is more than enough for my family........
BUT Hey........Thanks for your well thought out snide remarks....Not much help though
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/25/2010 6:07:02 PM
UPDATE: 2/25/10.....THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER.
First I just wanted to say once again to all those who have supported me ....THANK YOU. I truly appreciate all of your great advice and support.
Today my daughter came and picked up her children..(she gets them on the weekends). When she walked into the house she had a bunch of shopping bags with her and I assumed she had bought some clothes/toys for the children. BUT what she actually had in the bag was lingerie/skimpy lacy ...nothing there lingerie and a few pairs high heel shoes/stilettos. She then informs me that she has a job......she is a
Go Go Dancer... OMG I almost fell over. I actually couldn't say a word, for the first time in my life I was stunned into silence.
Well after a few minutes I asked her if she was serious and she said "Yes, mom I have a job and I will be making $400-500 a night dancing on stage". OKAYYYYYYY
I said the first thing that popped into my head "well thats great ......now I can sue you for Child Support when I get custody of the kids" . Thats when she informed me that she will be working "Off the Books"/"Under the Table".
Now call me stupid/naive...old fashioned but isn't a "Go Go Dancer" the same as a Stripper/Whore??? Not that I really care what people do to earn a living unless it can adversly effect anyone in my family.
She told me the name and location of this Bar/Strip Joint and I plan on going tomorrow night (she starts tomorrow night) and get pictures of her doing this type of work, so that I can present this in court. One of my main concerns is that my daughter has a drinking problem and if she is working in this type of establishment, she will get drunk and then she will be going home to her house when my grandchildren are there. Also she will be working at night and on the nights she has the children she won't be home, just her Boyfriend will be watching the 3 children (1 is his child).

But my main reason for putting this on the forum is to ask this.........How will this effect her getting custody of the children? Since we are engaged in a Child Custody Battle in Family Court .......will this help my case since she is now engaging in this type of conduct/behavior?? What can I do to change her visitation with the children while she is working at this Bar? We don't go back to Family Court until May 2010 to start the Court Proceddings for the Custody Situation. I dont' want my grandchildren with the boyfriend if my daughter isn't going to be in the house. The purpose of these visits is for the children to be introduced into their mothers life..BUT if my daughter isn't there then I don't see a reason for the children to be there .When she comes home in the mornings and/or very late at night she is going to be completely drunk and hung over for the entire next day and the children will be there while she is like this.
I am going to notify my Attorney of this and see what he says but I wanted to see if anyone else has any other ideas on how to proceed. I have received such great advice from this forum..I thought I could get some more great feedback.
Thanks
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
swearing in public with children around
Posted: 2/23/2010 2:58:24 AM
When this happens I usually ignore it the first couple of times but if it is non-stop then
I will stare at them and say" Do you mind, there are young children here". Everytime so far, they have apologised and either walked away or lowered their voices.
Other times if I am out with my younger children/grandchildren and run into this
My granddaughter who just turned 3 will usually in a Very Loud Voice tell me right away if someone is cursing....she will say "Nanna he/she said a curse word.....wash their mouth out NOW!!!!!!". I respond..." I heard them Honey and if they don't stop then I will do just that". It is so funny...everyone usually starts laughing
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/23/2010 2:47:40 AM

Cuteboypac:
Have tried to do that BUT the newspapers aren't interested unless the story is "news worthy".....I Actually had a reporter tell me that .."unfortunately unless one of the children are injured or something really dramatic happens in this case that the newspapers/television stations won't cover it ...No Air Time".
I personally think that is crazy but thats Just My Opinion and doesn't count for much here.
But I have notes on which newstations/newspapers I have written to about this and if and when (I hope this never happens) "this becomes news worthy"...those newstations/newspapers will NOT get the time of day from me at all.
I have filed Formal Complaints against the Child Protective Agency and the Law Guardian with the State Bar Association for Negligence/Incompetance. That is currently under investigation. I hope to on March 5, have the current Law Guardian replaced with a New Law Guardian that will hopefully put the what is best for the children in place before the court.
Thank You for your support
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/23/2010 2:35:20 AM

Gypsy-Solstice:
I'm not going to hold my breath for her just yet...she does tend to be a bit stubborn especially when she is a abusive relationships. Having said that......I do love my daughter more than anything in this world and will always be there for her . I am sure she hates me right now and may for some time to come but I am willing to risk that if it insures that my grandchildren are safe with me. I have no doubt that once she wakes up and reconizes her mistakes (probably in 20 years with my luck) she will understand why I did and continue to do what I have done for Her Children.
So far the babies stay with me and we go back to Court in May for the My Petition for Custody of the Children. She is really mad at me right now because ACS and the Law Guardian (both of which I have filed Negligence/Incompetant Complaints against )were in the process of returning the children to my daughter earlier this month. BUT there are still some serious issues at hand regarding medical issues with the children and my daughters domestic violance situation that still exists in her home to this day. Thank Goodness the Judge agreed with me this time and allowed the children to stay with me for the most part, however the children do go to their moms for the weekends .
The Judge also ordered everyone to undergo an Evaluation from a Family Court Psychiatrist.....Me, the Bio Mom and the Bio Dad. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when they talk to my daughter (bio mom) and the bio dad, lol
If only the Judge could base her decision on where the children would be permanently placed based on what the Pschiatrist Evaluation revealed then I wouldn't worry at all but I know that she has to include many factors in this decision.
Anyway thank you to all the postsers that have given me their support and all the great advice I have received so far......if you have anything else to add..please don't hesitate..its not over and I can still use all the help/advice that I can get....
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where did the member points Go??
Posted: 2/13/2010 9:07:53 PM
Okay thanks , I have to have my son check that out
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Where did the member points Go??
Posted: 2/13/2010 8:22:50 AM
Hello
I did a thread search but nothing came up
Have the Member Points been deleted??
Also I used 5000 point to purchase the Roses/pink color on my profile page but I noticed today it was light blue? What happened??
Thanks
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/13/2010 7:43:02 AM
JuiceMomma & Bamaangel642002:
Thank You Ladies or your support.
I will continue...I have no choice. I also want to help my daughter whom I love dearly. I know that deep inside her she has the ability to be a great a mother to her children but she allows abusive boyfriends, drugs and alcohol to cloud her judgement. Until she is physically and mentally & emotionally able to care for her children I will always be there for all of them.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/13/2010 7:37:43 AM
Sweety3468:
Thank You for your support. I am sorry you have to deal with this BS.

I have a tip for you for dealing with ACS. Each time you talk to the ACS Caseworker either in person or by phone....sit down and write her/him a letter outlining what your discussion was about. Then make a copy. Sign the original one and send it to the Caseworker at her/his office BUT send it certified mail and keep the certified mail receipt with the copy that you made. Now this letter can be introduced in Family Court as Evidence that you have tried to work with ACS and that the Caseworker was notified twice about your concerns.
Also if you don't have an Attorney....the Judge is required by New York State Legislature/Law to give you an Attorney. There is a Statute in NY State Law that requires the judge to do this. Its under the FCT/Family Court/Section 262...4a.
Go online and print it out, then take it to the Family Court next time your in front of the Judge.....they have to appoint you an Attorney. If you can't find it...let me know, I will send a copy to you.
ALSO if your daughter doesn't have any contact with the children or doesn't at least make an attempt to through ACS after 15 months of the most recent 22 months...ACS is required by New York State Law to start "Termination of Parental Rights". THEY HAVE TO DO THIS. Then since you have had the children for so long you can then Adopt them. You can get custody of those children.
Good Luck...let me know if you need any other information. Read my thread from the beginning very carefully. I have been given some great advice by alot of people. You follow it also..like I have ..believe me it has helped tremendously
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/13/2010 7:22:52 AM
WindRoper:
A Law Guardian is the Childrens Attorney. The children are her clients. She was appointed by the Judge back in 2007. CASA here in New York is an agency that works for the Judge.
I will definately look into the FOster Care Review Board..thank you so much for your help
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/10/2010 8:15:30 AM
Daydreamin Honey:
I don't know about my ducks being lined up, lol
I have made some mistakes here and there but I am learning how to deal with the Child Protective Agency better and better.
Many of the Posters have been wonderful and gave me some really great advise which I am following to a "T" now. I am trying to cross my T's an dot all of my I's twice, lol
My daughter along with her 2 boyfriends (Ex and Current) all have extensive criminal records ( felonies and misdeamors galore) .There are currently still Criminal Court Orders of Protection in place for both boyfriends(Ex & Current) and they extend until 2015 for the Ex boyfriend and I'm not sure when the O of P expires for the new Boyfriend, lol
I hope she get the help she needs and I even asked the Judge to Order me and my daughter into Family Counseling Again......there was a previous order but somehow the Law Guardian and the ACS Attorney nixed that out...so I requested that she do this again. And she will let me know this decision also on March 5th.
OMG....I have had 7 kids and I will help out with any and all grandkids but I don't know about 5 more, lol So far I have 2 grandkids and I will probably more likely than not have to take the 3rd child. If this doesn't happen within the next few months......then I know I will definately have her by next year IF my daughter follows her usual pattern....which I hope she doesn't. One would think that after the past few years.....she would finally "get it" but she is too stubborn for her own good and that is her downfall. BUT I'm not giving up on her........I know in my heart that she is capable of being a Fantastic, Amazing Mother.....I know she can do this.
I hope your sister gets her act together. She is missing out on so much of her childs life.
Eventually/hopefully she will realise what she has missed .BUT there is no way she can recapture watching this amazing child grow into an even more amazing adult. That is what I don't want to happen to my daughter....she has missed out on so much of their lives....even though I am constantly taking pictures and verbally telling her every single thing that happens but there is no comparison to actually being there and seeing this for yourself.
I hope this works out for the Children.....and for my Daughter. I am only here to keep them in a safe, secure, stable, non-violent, non-drug using environment until she can do her job as a mother.
Good Luck you your family as well
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/10/2010 7:45:23 AM
WindRoper,
I question myself all the time and I do think long and hard before I act. I do not want to hurt my daughter and I do love her more than life itself. BUT I have seen what she is capable of as far as physically placing the children in dangerous situations (several times in the past and still doing it as of last week) and making irresponsible decisions about the medical needs of the children (not taking them to the ER or doctors when they are sick over the weekend when she has them, as recent as week before last).

The Caseworker is a very nice but completely overwhelmed with cases and there simply isn't enough time in 5 work days (9-5) to see all of her clients and keep up with everyone. She has made some very serious questionable mistakes and I am going to talk to my Attorney about them when I see him about this and then take the appropriate action. I do understand that the Child Protective Agencies have certain procedures in place for numerous reasons. BUT when children are harmed physically and medically neglected that raises huge red flags for me and not just because they are my grandchildren.

The children have a Law Guardian and have ever since 2007 when the first Neglect case was brought against the Bio Dad BUT this woman is Incompetant on her best days.
I have filed a formal complaint against her with the Family Courts and with the State Bar Association. I also requested that the Judge replace this Law Guardian and the Judge is going to let me know her decision on March 5....when we go back to court.
I have been trying to find an Agency/Committee that will oversee the Child Protective Agency like the CCRB (civilian complaint review board) does for the Police around here but all I keep coming up with is another office within the Child Protective Agency.
I don't want to contact them because that to me is like asking the fox to guard the hen house. I did contact the CASA Agency here in our city and one of the Advocates did come to court that day and sat in on the hearing. She is going to call me sometime this week and let me know her thoughts on what she had observed in the courtroom that day.

I don't call the Child Abuse Hotline all the time. I usually tell the Caseworker after she asks me each week if I have any concerns about the childrens visit during the weekend.
In fact I have only placed 3 calls there when I had no choice to do other wise, First time was may 2007 when my daughter had taken the little girl to be around the bio dad and my daughter and him were smoking pot, cocaine and drinking with the baby in the room with them. The childs Godmother witnessed this and came and told me....ACS caught up with them the next day did a drug test and they both tested positive for all drugs named. The second time was after a family court and criminal court order of protection was issued against the bio dad.....my daughter took both babies to be with him for a weekend and she pled guilty to both of these in november 2009 in family court. The third and final time was this past December. My granddaughter had Pneumonia....my daughter insisted on taking her for the weekend. My grandchild was to take Amxicillian twice a day (mother only gave it to her 1 day) and my daughter refused to take the Nebulizer machine and the Abuterol/Steroid Medication that my grandchild would need to breathe (she has Severe Asthma) .My daughter was going into the city for dinner and "didn't want to carry the machine or the boxes of medication with her". When they brought her home, my grandchild was wheezing so bad I had to give her 2 treatments of the Albuterol and 2 of the Steroid so that she could breath properly. Because ACS didn't properly investigate when my grandchild was injured at her mothers house by the new boyfriends sister back in November...that is why I called the Child Abuse Hotline for this medical issue...so with this complaint they would have to fully investigate as to why my grandchild did NOT receive the proper amount of medication or treatments as prescribed by the ER Doctor as per the Discharge Instructions NOR did my daughter take my grandchild to her Pediatrician (I made the arrangements with the doctor) or back to the ER for a follow 2 days later as per the Discharge Instruction written By the ER Attending Physician.
Thank you for your best wishes.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 2/9/2010 12:24:42 AM
DayDreamin honey...Thank You
We went back to Court today (2/8/10) and I am keeping the babies until my custody case is heard now.
The Bio Dad pled guilty to Neglect today and My daughter pled guilty to Neglect back in November 2009. The ACS Neglect Cases are over except ACS is still overseeing the children in my care until the Judge decides where the 2 children are going to be permanently placed. There is a 3rd baby that my daughter was allowed to keep with ACS supervision. So now the only case before the court is my Petition for Custody.

And we go back in May for reports to be given to the Judge...my daughter and me and the Bio Dad have to go thru another Psychiatric Evaluation, I am not worried about this at all.....because my daughter and the bio dad always blow up at everyone that asks them personal questions...I wish I could be a fly on the psychiatrists wall when they go to be evaluated.
I wish my daughter would get her crap together, but no matter what I will always be there for her but I wish she would stop fighting me about everything. I only want to help the babies but she can't see that because she views the children as possessions that belong to her because she gave birth to them instead of them being precious gifts that were entrusted to her to raise correctly.
She makes me crazy with her thought process....I never know what is going to come out of her mouth or what crazy stunt she is going to pull next.........You should have seen the way she and the Bio Dad were acting in Court.....it was like a circus act, they both kept storming in and out of the courtroom everytime the Judge said something they didn't like............
I have all my cell phone bills from January 2007, I always print them out each month. Now I am glad I did because I may have to prove how many times I have called ACS case workers, supervisors, case managers and deputy directors, law guardian and social worker. I got an Attorney today ....we just met but I am meeting with him next week also.
My daughters Attorney made a statement today in Court about me favoring the 2 children I have in my custody and ignoring the 3rd baby in my daughters care, he said "if I was so concerned about the children then I should have filed for all 3 in the Petition". So I told the Judge if she would look at my initial questionaire that you have to fill out before filling out the Petition forms ..she will see that I did have the other baby's name on the paperwork but the clerk told me that I had to have the baby's birth certificate and I don't have that. So I asked the Judge is she could Amend the Petition to include the 3rd babys name as well and she said she would let me know when we go back to court on March 5...this court date is for the 3rd baby's case. I knew they were going to bring this up so that is why I was going to file for the baby as well but we will see what happens on March 5.
The Bio Dad has already stated in the last 2 court hearing that he wants the children to remain with me and I asked his Attorney to prepare an Affidavit and have the Bio Dad sign and Notorize that for me....in case the Bio Dad does another disappearing act like he usually does after a few court dates.
I don't care what people think about me or about their "off the wall" comments, everyone is entitled to their own Opinion and this is the place to express it freely BUT I KNOW I am doing the right thing in protecting and fighting for my grandchildren , if I don't then they will end up seriously injured or worst case scenerio dead and I am not going to let that happen. Call me whatever you want..makes no difference because I am still going to fight for these children...someone has to, I can't rely on ACS to do it completely.
One of these days my daughter will wake up and she will come to her senses...she always does (it just takes her a little longer sometimes ) and she will realise what I am trying to do is FOR Her children and NOT against her. As soon as she is reasonably able(and not what I consider reasonable) to take care of her children I will immediately relinquish custody back to her...I have no problem with that at all.
But thank you for your support
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Valentine cards!
Posted: 2/2/2010 9:38:13 AM
We have always sent Valentine Day Cards to school on valentines day or if V-day fell on a weekend then that that friday.
Here is cheap trick to buying the really expensive V-day cards...........After Valentines Day...al the stores put them on sale for 75 to 90% off, I buy the entire store out and save them for the next year or so. Sooner or later the younger kids will like whatever I have in stock, lol
But for now, you can buy a box of 24 to 30 V-day cards for around 2.00 or 3.00 dollars and buy a bag of lollipops for about 2.00 . Simply tape the lollipop to the card.....works everytime
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
weird taste
Posted: 2/1/2010 5:16:44 AM
Here goes:
When I was a kid I used to eat wonder bread hamburger buns with yellow mustard
I also would eat.......Parkay Butter Sticks......yep peeled the wrapper off and ate it, lol
A few years later I graduated to as another posted said Mayo and Banana on white bread but I would sprinkle sugar on the banna also.
Now when I was pregnant the worst thing I would eat would be Ice Cream (vanilla) with yellow mustard................weird hormones, lol
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 1/31/2010 11:32:15 AM
I would welcome the opportunity to meet this angel. It would not make any difference to me at all if she were a special child or not. Some women couldn't handle children in general much less a special child. You are better off without this type of women in your life from the get go. Better to find out early than later.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Birthday Traditions?
Posted: 1/31/2010 11:25:47 AM
I love the birthday parties for the kids...
I wake them up singing (can't carry a tune, lol) Happy Birthday and give them 1 present.
If their birthday is on a school day..then I buy pizza and take cupcakes and juice drinks to the school for a school birthday party complete with games and party favors..
if their birthday falls on a weekend then I do the same but on a friday.
Once they get home from school...they get to choose the restaurant for dinner....its typically Chuck Cheeses for the younger kids and Applebees for the older ones. If they choose Applesbees...I always get to surprise them with the Staff singing and stomping to the Birthday girl/boy ...while giving them a Ice Cream Sunday. YOu would think after all these years they would know I was going to do this.
Then when we get home I always have a Birthday Cake from the Bakery and a Carvel Ice Cream Cake too....then we all sing Happy Birthday...they get to open their presents and get their "Birthday Love Taps"/Spankings, lol
Gotta love birthday parties..with all the kids and grandkids I have we average at least 1 a month and on a few months 2.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Whats In A Name?
Posted: 1/31/2010 8:26:02 AM
All of my children have three names (1 first name and 2 middle names). I couldn't decide on just a first and middle name. But I have had a list of girl and boy names since I was 12 years old. I have over the years added and deleted names on the original list and when I would have a child (I always knew what I was having) I would just start picking and putting names together until I came up with a name that I liked and that couldn't in any way produce a crazy or mean nickname for the child in the future.
I did however choose Sydney for a first name for my 6th child but that was around the time that OJ Simpson killed his ex wife and her friend...so I nixed that name and changed it to Shelby. I always had their names picked out for them months before they were born (except for the OJ incident) and stuck with it. I still have that list even though I am done having children ( I hope.....never say never), I have helped my daughters name their children off of the original list....My List of Names is Huge Running Joke in our family. If you get pregnant you have to go to "moms list" to pick out a name, lol
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 1/31/2010 7:03:32 AM
Packagedealx3:
I do know for a fact that the Social Worker only completed 9 out of the 30 hours of the Court Ordered Supervised Visitation....I took the children to my daughters house and picked them up both times. The Social Worker also cancelled 7 visits in the 2 months period, she is incompetant on her best day. The last time the Social Worker called ( I was at my daughters house) and cancelled visit #7, she wanted to reschedule another visit to supervise my daughter ALONE with all 3 children...my daughter nearly had a heart attack. The 2 visits that she did complete, the boyfriend was at the house with my daughter and Social Worker. My daughter doesn't want anyone to "witness" (social worker) how she interacts with the children when she is by herself.
The Law Guardian also didn't inform the Judge that on 11/1/09 that during an overnight visit with my daughter......my granddaughter was injured by the boyfriends 16 year old sister. I notified the caseworker (on 11/2/09 when my grandchild came home), and took my granddaughter to the pediatrician immediately, got a note from the doctor and the Caseworker came to the house to see the injury and talk to my grandchild. My grandchild repeatedly told the caseworker that the boyfriends sister hurt her but the Caseworker said "it wasn't a Serious Injury". On 11/6/09 when we went to Court....after I saw that the childrens Law Guardian, the ACS Attorney or the Caseworker wasn't going to inform the Judge about the Injury......I tried to tell the Judge but I was told by the Judge and the Law Guardian that "I wasn't a party to the proceedings and therefore I was only in the Courtroom as a Courtesy since I was the Maternal Grandmother that had temporary custody of the children".
I have since filed a Formal Complaint against ACS and the Law Guardian for Negligence / Incompetance and Conflict of Interest. I also filed for Permanent Custody of the children and I have a signed Affidavit from the Bio Dad supporting my bid for Permanent Custody.
The Bio Dad nor his Attorney were NOT notified of the last 3 Court Proceedings and since they weren't notified, they didn't come to Court . The last 3 court dates were about "Discharging" the children back to their Bio Mom. I told the Bio Dad and his Attorney about these court dates and the Bio Dads Attorney has filed a Motion to "Vacate the Order of Release" to the mom. I also signed a Affidavit in Support of the Vacate to Release Order and in my Affidavit I have described in detail everything that I know for fact and can prove in court that has happened since September 2009 between my daughter and boyfriend #2. Since I have filed this Custody Petition with the Court .....all the Motions have been put on the calender for a February 2010 court date together. I am now "back in the ballgame" so to speak and I now have the right to tell and prove to the Judge everything that has been going on. I have documented every single little/large detail in writingand have pics and doctors notes to support everything I say. Also Everytime I have had a conversation (in person or on the telephone) with the ACS Caseworker..I follow up with a letter to the Caseworker detailing everything we spoke about and send that certified mail to the Caseworker at her office. That way I can introduce into evidence that the Caseworker was notified about every single incident or concern that I have about the children and if she doesn't address that then she is legally"liable" . If the Judge even contemplates giving the children back to their Bio Mom..I will be Appealing that decision immediately (that day) to a higher court.
The last time the Caseworker was at my house (just last week) she stated that the "children would be better off with me and that there was ZERO risk of harm or endangerment to the children while living with me and that there was "risk" involved if the children were to be returned to my daughter BUT its the Agencies job to try and reunite the children with their Bio Mom." She also stated that "the Agency had procedures in place to minimize the risk to the children"...........WTF.........................
I know the Caseworker won't admit she said this to me since I don't beleive she should have BUT I do have a witness. My 25 year old son was sitting 5 feet away in the livingroom and overheard the entire conversation. If I have to I will have him come to Court and testify as to what he overheard.
I will continue to fight for my grandchildren until my daughter is able to take care of Her Children herself. I really dont' want to have to raise these kids.....they aren't mine and it shouldn't be my responsibility to do so BUT until she is able to this then I have no choice.
Its been said by people on this forum (2 men and 1 woman) that its my fault that my daughter is the way she is.......maybe.........no parent is perfect, we all make mistakes. I was in an abusive situation but I did get out and I did put myself and all 7 kids in therapy for years (4 1/2 to 5 years) and I have done everything I could to help my daughter and will continue to do so. But I can only do as much as she will allow me to do. BUT Until she is ready to take care of her responsibilities in a reasonable manner (not what I consider to be reasonable) then I have to make sure these children are safe. I absolutely will not allow my grandchildren to become another New York State ACS Fiasco like so many of the other children that fell throught the numerous cracks in the system.....not while I am breathing.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Grandmother with custody of grandchildren
Posted: 1/29/2010 5:25:01 PM
First of all Beavis...go back and read the entire thread,
On second thought..........I'm not going to respond to your Assanine comments, you apparantly are just as ignorant as you appear to be.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
10 and 1/2 month old teething
Posted: 1/19/2010 8:23:35 PM
I have read the threads and haven't seen this remedy.
Try Humpheries (spelling) all natural teething pills. They are these tiny little white balls, they taste like candy but some weird reason they worked for my last child. At 5 months he started teething and when his teeth came in they came in 4 at a time.
You can get them at most pharmacys. I used these as a last resort because the teething rings, cloths, frozen rings and oragel, anbesol ...........nothing worked for him
Good Luck
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Raw Milk?
Posted: 1/8/2010 2:14:28 PM
Not a milk drinker at all...pasteurized or raw.
My grandfather had a dairy farm in Tennessee when I was growing up.
I couldn't drink milk after I saw how the cow was harnessed and held in place and especially what I saw the cow doing as they were being milk.....YUKKY, lol
My kids love milk and I have never told them what I know about the process, lol
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
why are the simple things the most satisfying?
Posted: 1/8/2010 2:07:17 PM
I make a dish that my mom made all the time. She called it a spanish omelet even
though technically it wasn't a spanish omelet, it was just her "quick" version. She didn't like to cook at all, lol
Anyway its very simple and very good:
Scrambled Eggs
Bacon/crumbled
Scallions/sliced
Tomatoes/cut up or diced
Bell Peppers/cut up or diced
Just mix all together and serve on toast or eat with toast.
Theres no set amount of ingrediants, just add as much as you like.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Does any one have a recipe for Tomato Pie/cobbler
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:25:16 PM
Thank You mamamugg
I will definately try this..my grandmother was born and raised in Tennessee. But I have to admit, I have gotten several good recipes for this Tomato Pie from fellow posters
So to all who have posted their recipes..THANK YOU
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What can I do?
Posted: 1/3/2010 1:18:14 PM
Hello Carterscutie85,
Both of my grandchildren have asthma. My granddaughter was diagnosed at 10 months and my grandson at 2 years. I believe the 6 month old has it also but her mother doesn't want to hear this and refuses to take her to the doctor.
If I were you I would do a couple of things...1. Listen to his breathing by putting your ear to the lower middle left or right side of his back...do you hear a wheezing almost whistling sound? (very hard to describe) 2. Listen to and watch his mouth..is he gasping for breathe or is he breathing smooth and normal? If he is "wheezing" and or "gasping" for breathe..I would take hime to an ER. They can listen better to his breathing with their stethoscopes and determine if he need a "albuteral treatment" (nebulizer machine treatment with albuteral & steriod capsules), which will help open up his bronchial tubes. Our Pediatrician prescribes Albuteral Sulphate (liquid albuteral) to be given by mouth for coughing. But that is for children that have been diagnosed with Asthma. Again if you can't get into see your regular Pediatrician take the child to the ER...they have to see him there.....I didn't look at your profile, I am assuming you live in the US, if not I don't know what the procedures are in Canada
Good Luck
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Would you get a Boob Job ?
Posted: 1/2/2010 6:26:28 PM
Heck No..........
Years ago I had a friend (and only a friend) ask me if I wanted a boob job...he would pay for it. I said "why in the world would you pay for me to get a boob job knowing you will never ever get to see them"...He replied "I can hope can't I"..or something to that effect. Needless to say I didn't get the B-Job.
If a man doesn't like my "champayne glass" size boobs, then he find someone else. The only time I ever had big boobs was immediately after the birth of each of my 7 kids. I couldn't wait for the nursing phase to be over....those things killed my back all the time. I have friends that have big boobs and they complain constantly about the back pain.....No Thank You
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Foods to eat on New Years Day
Posted: 1/2/2010 6:10:25 PM
Thank You so much Atticus06
I know I have a few in a folder but I know they are in a storage room....couldn't find them if I wanted to now.
I have been craving pinto beans/cornbread and chow chow
Only one problem.....I need green tomatoes. I grew some over the summer and had fried green tomatoes almost everynight but didn't think to make any chow chow....And the grocery stores here....they used to look at me like I was nuts when I would ask them if they had in green tomatoes in the back, lol

Thanks anyway fifi47
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Can long distance relationships work?
Posted: 1/2/2010 5:40:12 PM
Pinkrose
I know from personal experience (well actually.... my moms) that LD relationships can work. My mom dated a man for over 1 year and they did get married, He was the best father in the world. He came to visit her every 2 months and they talked on the phone (landlines only then) almost everyday and they constantly "mailed" letters back and forth.
Not even CD (close distance) relationships work alot of the times, so as long as your comfortable with the situation then go for it.
Good Luck
Since this is an old thread .....I wonder what happened???
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Having a different surname from your kids
Posted: 1/2/2010 4:30:35 PM
I was married (had 2 kids) and then divorced but I kept my married last name. Then I had a LTR (had 5 kids) but still kept my married last name. All 7 of my kids had my last name so there was no confusion while they were in school or for doctor visits, or for insurance purposes. Now my 22 year old daughter had 3 kids by 2 different men/not married to either one..thank goodness. The first grandchild had her fathers last name, the second grandchild has mine and my daughters last name (my married name) and the thirdgrandchild has the 2nd guys last name. NOW I have temporary custody of the first two kids....I have no problem with anyone concerning my 2nd grandchilds last name because its the same as mine BUT I have complete comfusion with my 1st grandchild...I have to show the Temporary custody papers to everyone...the ER, Pharmacy's, sometimes the doctors office if their is a temporary receptionist working that day. In my experience, it just easier if everyone has the same last name BUT thats just my opinion.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Blended Interracial Parenting
Posted: 1/2/2010 3:47:17 PM
Greeneyed Misfit YOU said:
A racist sure won't get their perceptions altered by a forum on Plenty of Fish at least in my mind. But if you believe these forums hold any real weight in the "real" world, go for it. Myself I've learned that racism is something learned and quite frankly, its not something that can be rationally discussed. It's built in, hard wired if you must. Think of the KKK as well. Do you think you could have had a rational conversation about racism with a KKK clan member?

I was raised in the South by KKK Members...as a matter of fact my Maternal Grandfather was a "Grand Wizard" in the Chattanooga, Tenn Chapter of the KKK.
So now tell me...Because I was raised by them and I am supposedly "hard wired (as you put it) am I a racist????
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Does any one have a recipe for Tomato Pie/cobbler
Posted: 1/1/2010 2:16:18 PM
Thanks Charon52
This sounds good also...will have to wait to try this one though.
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Foods to eat on New Years Day
Posted: 1/1/2010 2:13:46 PM
fifi47
Sounds just like my dinner...I added a roasted pork shoulder, Care to share your recipe for Chow Chow??? I have a few somewhere but right now I am to lazy & full to look for it, lol I have looked on alot of websites for a recipe for it but usually get a recipe for relish....
Since we are from the same state....I hope you don't mind me asking....
 sassysouthernbelle762
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Does any one have a recipe for Tomato Pie/cobbler
Posted: 12/31/2009 4:45:14 PM
I know that she used red tomatoes and sometimes would add in some yellow ones.. The green tomatoes reserved for fried green tomatoes or chow chow
Thanks anyway
 
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