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 Author Thread: The infamous disappearing woman, or is it just something about me??
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
The infamous disappearing woman, or is it just something about me??
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:57:27 AM
The problem with this scenario is that the guy has been labeled with this type of behavior 99.9999% of the time and we get crucified for it....I stopped believing it when numerous times the woman was inconsiderate/rude about being late, or postponing things, or flat out blowing off something they said they were going to do....and yes its happened on this joke of a site as well...most people don't respond, hell they don't even look at your profile...if your not here to meet someone then WHY????? why waste everyones time? sorry rethorical rant......women complain constantly about guys insensativaty and lack of respect and it happens all the time with their own gender...and why might I ask the woman who wrote about the "disappearing man" are you givinng her excuse after excuse...thats bs.....its no wonder people are grasping at stupid dating websites and every other quick fix for a relationship hoping that it will be different when in fact dating is frustrating period....most peoples profiles are embellished and thats being kind, especially when they don't act anywhere near the way they say they are....again "forumfilly" "be glad you had a good date?" are you serious? should he be glad that the person we went out with was full of crap? that lies? that has zero integrity? I got news for you everyone is BUSY with work, with life.. if you really really want to be with someone YOU will put the effort in and MAKE time to show you give half a shi% about them, half the time I think women do this just to get back at the gender for the guys that have screwed them over so now they take it out on someone who isn't even like that but is lumped in the same man bashing boat as the ones that acted stupid.........you don't have to agree with me but in my 42 years of experience with people on this earth I've learned and there is NO disputing this...if you want something or someone bad enough you will do ANYTHING to make it happen.......and in my opinion and I know most wont agree I'd say about 90% of the women in here are looking for some unrealistic fairy tale or dream guy/relationship that doesn't even exist and have the expectations so wacked out its a farce.....heres an idea DO WHAT YOU SAY! that goes for both genders...if you say your going to call and don't, your playing fuc*ing games and the next time someone does it to you who cares!! with all that said I do believe theres someone out there for everyone, I'm not giving up and never will because I KNOW there is ONE person out there who will get me and vice versa and I can send this site straight to the recycle bin where it belongs and let games, advice, blame etc..blah blah blah get figured out by everyone else who calls themselves experts....oh and don't forget to talk about your music tastes on your profile 62% of the people responded who did at least thats what the profile police say, now that is funny
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 46 (view)
 
How important is political affiliation in dating to you?
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:39:35 PM
referencing ann coulter and using that in a decison about a guy....wow!! now I know what us guys are up against........I would think your religious beliefs being on or close to being on the same page are more important than politics unless someone is a complete extreme one way or the other than it could be a problem.....a staunch rep or dem is never shy about spewing off their beliefs about every political topic....it would probably be more peaceful if you were close to the same political views or if you come to some understanding about it being an off the table topic but its enivitable to come up.....but i dont know some people can love eachother and agree to disagree and still live in peace....crazy thought I know.....
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Smoking not P.C.? Does anyone admit to smoking in SoCal?
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:34:10 PM
used to smoke, quit in my 20's, I do have drinks socially and admit to it on profile so there is no confusion with that.....I would like my g/f to have a drink now n then but if she doesn't thats cool, I just don't want a guilt trip for having a few beers at dinner once a week or a few with the guys after a round of golf.....
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 211 (view)
 
do you look like your pictures?
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:09:54 PM
I look exactly like it, why put yourself in that situation? maybe thats just me, lots of laptops come with webcams these days as well so you could go that route......thats a chance you take though on this, almost like a blind date a friend sets you up on and their description of the person doesn't come in the same zip code....if that happens I would suggest saying you need to go the bathroom and bail....lies about the way they look I'm sure theres more to follow...................................
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Recent Experience
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:06:08 PM
Make a thread and out him...or maybe the fine people of POF can kick this moron out.....another guy making it hard for others that are being honest.......hindsight being crystal clear maybe do that facebook thing or google the guy before you go out next time, I know thats kind of way out to do before just a date but it might help...sorry that happened to you.
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
First Kiss..
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:02:06 PM
I remember asking my older brother this question when I was in HS.....told me to get the hell out of his room.....anyways as with anything intimate you just know.....you just do...and if you don't get that feeling where you know for sure its right, maybe your not with the right person or should be thinking of the lip lock thing.....because if you are wrong you will be the star of the next POF dating nightmare thread.....
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 8/4/2009 5:17:32 PM
I agree if there was something that I am totally against I would....however.....most profiles I have read are remarkably similar, I'm a nice person, I like to...etc etc.....my feeling is you can only get a smidge off someones profile, I've dated people off of other sites and their profile and their actual personality weren't quite the same...I suppose sometimes how we see ourselves and how others see us might not totally jive, but I believe you can get a vibe (bad or good) from someones profile if they elaborate about themselves.....bottom line is you never really know someone until you sit down and have a conversation, and even then you still may not....just have to follow your instincts I would say......and its my belief that people look at the pics and read the profile, for me if its 1 outta 2 I won't contact that person...and if everyone was honest I'm sure the picture factor is a major element in this online dating thing..................
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Are we too picky about interests and profiles with online dating?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:40:12 PM
Probably----but thats the way its set up, all the "experts" in these sites think by matching up peoples likes and dislikes you can do it this way...or asking questions like, "when you go to a party do you run in with your pants on fire or just kind of blend in" you know what I'm saying, at the end of the day you either hit it off with someone or not and your likes and dislikes may or may not have anything to do with it.......I have a friend who tried e-harmony, met some guy things were great for a few months then the guy turned into a d-bag and hes gone, and these 2 were matched up through the very thorough physcological profile and they matched 100% but to your initial question I'm sure and I include myself that sometimes we in here put too high of expectations on people in here and think sometimes well they said they like this on their profile and I don't so Im not going to give them a chance......or it comes down the picture.......why can't this be easy????????
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Who wants a happy ending?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:31:24 PM
I'm one of those saps that believe there is someone out there for everybody, "the one" pick your saying.......however being that I'm 42, have a few crash n burns, and I'm writing in a forum on a dating website that belief wavers from time to time but I believe it will happen when everything lines up right, now will it happen on here? God knows, to be honest i would say at least 50% of the people on here aren't really looking for anybody just going through the motions but thats just an opinion.....anyways.....heres to looking into someones eyes for the first time, seeing fireworks, getting "that" feeling on the inside and never having to write another profile again :-))))))
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:24:02 PM
Maybe the old ways of meeting people don't work and you want to try something new? Who knows, I'm tired of the bar scene, and the being setup drama has never worked for me...."oh I have the perfect person for you" I've fallen through that trap door a few times......theres only so many ways to meet people and I know quite a few people that have met their one and only online, I have friends that I have met online 8-9 yrs ago and am still in touch....granted they're friends only....I think you get alot of people on these dating sites because they're tired of all the bs and think that this way might be different or you might be more apt to pinpoint someone more compatable....even with that said everyones profile says there are nice and honest......so it has to be taken with a grain of salt because in this wacky world of dating you just never know..........................................
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is a blunt, outspoken woman a turn off?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:15:09 PM
I'll answer that question with one, is a man who is blunt, outspoken, opinionated a turn off? all my women friends don't like that behavior, I respect someone standing up for what they belive in and as you get older you learn there are sometimes where there is more than one right answer, there should be some discretion I would think, if your wearing your favorite clothes and your partners blutness goes "your wearing that??? godddddd, whatever" that would get old after I dont know, 5 mins....I agree with be yourself, I always am, I have opinions and am going to have them whether someone else agrees or not but theres an understanding that people are different and not everybody sees things the same..........if it comes off as "if you dont like it this way your stupid" I wouldn't last 10 mins with that person, a good healthy debate on subjects can be nice but the overbearing people can be hard to take........hope I wasn't too blunt.....or outspoken
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
He who hesitates is lost..........
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:01:09 PM
I don't like regrets, you can play the what if game forever.....look at it this way, theres a reason you hesitated or hesitate but it does make you think I agree with that....probably think too much.....you ever walk by someone and you have eye contact and its in a crowded area, the street or a store or a sporting event and you make eye contact with someone and swear there was recognition there but you blow it off and move on knowing you will NEVER see that person again, did a chance go by??? you can beat youself up over stuff like that....
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Can you still remain friends after a long serious relationship?
Posted: 8/2/2009 4:55:15 PM
Whoever said it depends how it ends is right on....however in my experiences with breakups theres always one person that trys to hold and that holding on can hold you back, keeping on thinking that maybe things will change, maybe we'll get back together....I know its harsh but the clean breakup as much as it hurts in retrospect is usually best, like ripping a bandaid off......would of loved to of not had an opinion on this topic :-)
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 128 (view)
 
Fake Pics
Posted: 8/2/2009 4:49:47 PM
I agree you should put pics up that are recent, at least the same year...another good one is people w/o pics telling you they won't respond unless you have one and this is just a rhetorical question, women seem to write it in their profiles all the time, no pic no response and guys are the ones getting hammered about being shallow....which is a another argument completely I know, for me and most people that I know that are honest, your attracted to someone inside and out and the outter appearence does mean something to everybody and those who say they don't care I'm not buying it.......anyways fake pics are not cool, you don't like they way you look and the way you are how can someone else????
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Who writes first?
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:49:46 PM
First off Garf is an idiot, I sure hope your blow up doll doesn't know your on a dating website, that could get ugly......
This is just my opinion which in turn is worth about as much as Garfs blow up doll, but if you like what someone wrote or have a good feeling about them then write, be honest and be real...I know 2 no-nos in dating...kidding......you start making all these rules or guidelines about when to write etc...it almost starts turning into a game and I have to believe nobody is down with games...your trying to get to know someone...just be yourself!
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
This site is so fake.
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:42:39 PM
Hate to disagree with the admin....uhhhh...yeah right......the guys profile had ZIP to do with the response or non response....that is such a load, you can or at least I can pick apart EVERY single profile that every person has written on this site.....maybe it takes a proactive person with some brains to understand where someone is coming from, I tried to put just the basics in mine and you could say, "well you didn't put enough about yourself woman want to know more" or I could get detailed and you could say..."you put wayyyyyyyyyyy too much, keep it simple stupid, woman don't need your life story" maybe its just because this site is full of single people who have been scorched before by other sites or just dating in general so to give themselves a feeling of not giving up they join theses sites with no intention of meeting anyone, or some of these profiles are fake who knows....I also believe you start putting a profile full of positve things and overdoing it your going to start sounding like Mr Rodgers and people will think your full of it.....heres a suggestion, maybe you can set this up so you can send something other than an e-mail to show interest, I know all the other sites do this but that way if theres a mutal interest based on picture/profile then you e-mail, then if they don't respond you can slip them in the idiot file.......just an opinion....
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
He didn't even say goodbye...
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:27:44 PM
I hate to say it but I think there was more than just moving back with relatives, depending on his mode of transportation I would think there was alot of baggage that went with this dude on his trip.....if you know what I mean....I'm 42, single and could give you a few lengthy why did they do this to me stories, wish I had an easy answer, it was a very gutless thing to do to you, you deserved more than that, I know this is an easy thing for me to say being on the outside looking in but think of it of how HE blew it and is missing out everything you have to offer....the next one probably wont be that dense....good luck :-)
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How to move on after a first date shotdown?
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:22:26 PM
I really felt like I was dating when I thought we had a connection and she said all the right things then didn't show up....you realize as you move forward with this you take dating with a grain of salt, keep an even keel even when EVERYTHING seems spot on...may be a cynical way to it but no matter how you meet people these days...dating websites, a setup from a friend, you just never know...you just wish everyone would do what they say and this goes with both genders, if your serious about wanting a relationship you should go into it being straight up and honest.....however I'm not that naive.....its cliche but when you fall down you have to get back up, unfortunately with dating your looking at the sky quite a bit, for me I will keep getting back up, I'm a glutton for punishment :-)
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Waste of time
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:15:26 PM
I concur completely and this is gender equitable I'm sure.......I've met some GREAT people on that "other" internet dating site and at least 90% of them responded whether they are interested or not, here I have e-mailed numerous people and get nothing back which I get it sometimes people just aren't your taste or type based on your picture, I can live with that but it seems this place is just for the looky looos...I would love to meet a nice woman on here and connect, or anywhere for that matter even though I know there are plenty of fish these "fish" from this guys view seem to be able to write alot of great things in their profiles but can't seem to backup their own words....maybe I'm wrong it just seems that way....oh well, I'm not looking for plenty of fish....just one!
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 1216 (view)
 
Introduce Yourself Here.
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:05:17 PM
Jerry here from north SanDiego.
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Does anyone else feel like they weren't meant to be a Californian?
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:02:51 PM
To comment on Kendra's first comment....In California things go 100 mph it seems and people seem in a hurry constantly, stress probably being the main reason why people are the way they are here....I've been here for 42 yrs and the state has obviously grown but also there are alot of "me" people around too, more then say the midwest? a theory anyways.... it seems once your getting cut off in traffic constantly or the sales people at the stores acting like asses all the time or whatever the case may be it tends to be contagious...if your a nice person it doesn't matter where you live, I just think its the culture out here.....and to think my friend from NY seems to think we are soft out here :-) I just think everyone is focused on doing their own thing in California, probably sometimes to a fault...with that said I won't be moving anytime soon.
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Interracial Dating
Posted: 8/1/2009 12:53:44 PM
If theres a connection with someone that will come from the inside as well as the outside and if its there you follow your heart, people that have a problem with IR dating are usually people with some issues bigger than that, just my opinion but thats the way I see it....a good person is a good person period.
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:01:53 PM
last response was for opiedopie btw.....
 Jadd2767
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:00:40 PM
Maybe he posted it because the stereotype is that guys do this all the time...string along women all the time....well its should be posted that the string along game is probably 50/50 in the dating world thats why when asked most peoples response is dating sucks and it does because even when you think you have the right chemistry people bs you.....both genders! so as informative and intelligent as your response was I'm thinking he was just venting...like I dont know, women do all the time...I'm sure you put little sarcastic responses from all the similiar posts made by women screwed over by guys right? or just agreed with them....yeah thats what I thought.......stay asleep, might make more sense.
 
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