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 Author Thread: Should I keep trying to reach out?
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Should I keep trying to reach out?
Posted: 4/13/2018 8:52:42 AM
Wow you're very judgemental. I picked a guy I liked and put myself out there isn't that the point? This was post was entirely to get more information since online dating isn't something I have done in years so thanks for the very damning response it helped tons.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Should I keep trying to reach out?
Posted: 4/13/2018 8:50:05 AM
I'm not psychic though so when a great profile is all you have to go by then what else should I do? Because sending me "hey sexy lets make out" doesn't take me to that on I've got to message that person place in my heart.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Should I keep trying to reach out?
Posted: 4/13/2018 12:14:19 AM
Thanks for that, I even pointed that out to in the message I sent that this isn't something I normally do. But I am a "what if" kind of person and I would rather take the chance and reach out then not and if I see something I don't like after messaging I will just kind of give a bye Felicia and call it a day but at least I tried.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Should I keep trying to reach out?
Posted: 4/13/2018 12:10:44 AM
Thanks! I literally paid 3 dollars at the animal shelter for him and it was money well spent! He is so relaxed!
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Should I keep trying to reach out?
Posted: 4/13/2018 12:10:06 AM
Sorry for the delay in response, I have been working all day it's been hectic. Soooooo he still lives with his ex baby mama so yeah there goes anything interesting there. It's a shame because I wish that would be in someone's profile as a disclaimer. Thanks for the advice everyone I will keep everything suggested in mind.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Should I keep trying to reach out?
Posted: 4/12/2018 7:57:03 AM
Good morning fishies,
After a long hiatus from dating I finally decided to give this a shot. Not to date but just to meet people and interact so that I could make a meaningful connection and have a chance to meet someone new, a fun buddy! I updated my profile and have been met with an overwhelming amount of responses, of which I appreciate. But, there was one guy who didn't message me at all, who pof suggested to me that I took the time to message, and I really would love to just grab coffee with this guy. I sent him 3 nice messages which is 3 more then I normally do, and I got rejected (I think?). I got the too busy excuse I have a lot going on this weekend. So I offered by number and maybe we can get coffee? I don't ever have to try this hard but I really liked the profile and the guy. Should I keep trying or just leave it alone because I'm going towards leave it. Thanks!
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 213 (view)
 
Sensitive issues
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:46:47 PM
you met her then had sex with her???
hmmm. that doesn't sound like you knew her all that well to begin with before even having sex with her.
besides all of that seeing she felt that comfy with you to reveal something like that after sleeping with you takes alot for a woman.
and now your going to dump her because of it.
kinda shady.....
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
The new Marriage search/page
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:30:43 PM
so i guess this is gonna put mail order brides out of business.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Buying his ex-girlfriend a car?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:22:29 PM
please, for the sake of your own sanity, just dump him already.
he obviously values her more then you if he is buying her a car. especially if he isn't buying you one. not to mention he lives at home with his mother, is he buying her a car too??
just walk away. please don't humiliate yourself any further.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 167 (view)
 
why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:02:39 PM
eh depends on the guy and his preference.
guys are usually visual anyways. but then again so are most women.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
how fast is to fast?
Posted: 9/12/2009 5:54:44 PM
i am not sitting at home crying my eyes out or anything over him i just wanted everyones take on it just to get some off hand advice. blame it on youth, sex, whatever regardless of what happened it ended and i know its not the end of the world.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
how fast is to fast?
Posted: 9/12/2009 6:39:54 AM
for everyone who keeps saying my pics scream come bang me, i happen to like my pics. and i posted them because i like them. i am a pretty girl who takes pretty pictures. i can't help that the majority of men happen to look at them and see sex. Hence why I am looking for someone who can look past all that and see something else. But besides that i like my pics. and thats all that matters to me.

As far as my post goes,
yeah we both jumped into things waaaay to fast and i see that now. thanks everyone for all the positive advice. It is all very much appreciated , really it is. :)
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
how fast is to fast?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:50:15 PM
thankyou so much dardika.
seriously that was the worst part. like i didnt get upset about the initial break up i just wish that since this was someone i see everyday and am being intimate with that i deserved the courtesy of being dumped to my face especially since just saw him about an hour prior. i took it like a champ, didnt cry or get upset or anything. i let it go, he didnt even give me a reason i had to wait for that. the text tho kinda chinked my armor a little.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 128 (view)
 
The real problem with relationships today.
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:47:17 PM
i think a big problem with relationships today is two people just not being on the same page. one person can be completely happy while having no idea the other has completely lost interest.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
I am having a few issues with my girlfriend
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:44:55 PM
women like to talk about sex. but to other guys might be a little iffy if she is in a relationship with you. have you told her it is something you are not comfy with? that way you guys are on the same page. it may make things a little easier for you since you are still in the early stages of dating. hang in there.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
how fast is to fast?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:27:23 PM
yeah i see now that it went waaaaay to fast but i just figured since he was okay with it and everyone seemed comfy there was no cause for alarm. its not like i was pushing for it i tried to put it out there hey i can go home tonight. the response was always why? but i see what everyone is saying.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
how fast is to fast?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:10:30 PM
as far as sex was concerned i was the freaky one but i guess the being advised to seek other people thing kinda makes sense. but why not be honest instead of going through all that trouble to waste my time.?
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
how fast is to fast?
Posted: 9/10/2009 4:59:56 PM
So i just recently split with a guy i dated off of POF and I am left feeling a little confused.
Everything was good and we seemed to get along fine, then he wanted me to stay over all the time, every day and every night. I figured if that is what he is comfortable with then there is no problem. Then out of no where a month into our relationship i get a text message from him after i had just seen him saying i deserve better and that we should take a break. (shitty way to get dumped).
When i asked him a few days later what happened he said we just "grew apart" and he "didnt like me anymore" so my question is what led to this? We never fought, we got along really well, there were days when we really could not stand each other but we would always try to work it out and talk like adults. Is the pace the relationship was going in the cause for its downfall?

try not to be to harsh everyone we have ALL for the most part been there.<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
tell tale signs in profiles
Posted: 9/1/2009 7:23:07 AM
when the profile says: i am very opinionated, i am a smart ass, i have a sick sense of humor. those are red flags.

profession wise, usually when it only says student i get a little concerned.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 980 (view)
 
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:46:29 PM
i prefer average looking guys actually.
hot ones are nice too.
but if your a nice decent guy i'm not one to look you over. but i have found even the average joes are some of the worst ***holes. more so then the hot ones.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Flaky men and women?
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:44:54 PM
i have definitely met some non comital men since i started this site.
oh most definitely.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/28/2009 5:51:18 AM
once again i can't say it enough thankyou everyone for all the advice. seriously i have really appreciated it all.
now i definitely know what to do for next time.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:23:26 AM
i second that.
its one thing to post your opinion its another to be a jackass and try be malicious.
doucher.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:30:25 AM
oh no anjelic i didnt take your post the wrong way and i appreciate the advice and compliments from you and everyone!!!!!

ugh i just wish i had like a way of knowing what went wrong!>? i don't even want an apology.
i hope he's ok. the concerned person i am wanted to call yesterday just to see if he was ok even tho i barely know him and everything. just to make sure he wasn't hit by a bus or abducted by aliens. but i didn't because i did not want to look crazy or something. and because i figured he proly thinks i hate him or something (which i don't).
i never realized tho how often this happens. its definitely one of those things where you don't realize how often it happens until it does to you. I feel for all you guys and gals who have had this occur. because i know i felt like my stomach dropped every hour that passed when i looked at the clock until i realized that i am just gonna take myself on a date tonight. which i did.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:57:17 PM
depends on where your from and how your raised.
i have always dated outside my race and can't see me doing anything else anytime soon. i guess it just depends on your preference.
there is always gonna be prejudice. no matter where you go.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
single dads
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:36:26 PM
depends on the women you are going after.
also if your looking to get a girl to go out with you keep the focus of your profile on you.
cute daughter, very cute. but you should have pics of just you up.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Question for all the older dudes
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:19:55 AM
i am 21 and the last guy i dated for a but was 41. it worked out good actually and he was a great guy just our scheduals didnt match up.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:56:39 AM
i don't take it personally at all and thankyou touchdown bundy for the advice and everyone else as well.

i was just taken aback because i have never had this happen before. this isn't my first time online dating and i have gone out with a few guys so this is the first time i have had someone i met through a dating site do this. thats why i was so confused. i haven't given my power away as someone said by getting over emotional or anything like that. i wasn't sitting in my apt moping around waiting for him to call, i just thought we were on the same page and didnt see it coming.
thats what i get for trying to see the good in people.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:55:19 AM
for irishgod - he was white actually and i am pretty sure it had nothing to do with nerves judging from the texts he sent me.

and to miss hi i am ginny- thankyou for the advice.
ya know in the back of my head i was thinking dont call but then it was conflicted with but he is a nice guy proly having an emergency. so i let it go. but after the second time i pretty much knew, and i even said in the voicemail there is no excuse you could have called or texted. well i know for the future what not to do.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:04:16 AM
thanks for all the responses guys.
i know there really is no answer and the obvious reason is to assume he is an ***hole.
i simply posted this because i wanted everyone else's views on this because i have never had this happen and needed a second opinion.
i appreciate all of them.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:30:05 AM
capricorn thankyou for making me feel better.
see it helps because ya know how it is when it happens, you feel like god this must only happen to me.
people are just ridiculous. i am sorry about your date, this guy lived pretty far to. i didnt drive out there because i didnt want to get stood up and be lost in the middle of nowhere. she should have told you the night of but guessing from her text the next day she obviously had no intention of it.
once again i hate being optimistic but he has an on call job. not that there is any way of really knowing whether this is his job, but he gets called in and has to go. now i dont think this is the case because POF says his last login before 1254am was 745pm. so i am guessing he stood me up for sport.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:22:18 AM
i didnt think of that either crisscrim.
ugh this is gonna sound stupid but the optomist in me is like but he was such a nice guy he proly had an emergency.

men suck sometimes.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:20:46 AM
you make a very valid point.
in answer to your question in relation to me i online date because its easier for me to get a feel for what someone is about sometimes. but then again its a catch 22 because they might not be honest. (and they usually aren't)
and it shouldn't be complicated. you would think, cute girl, cute guy, go on date, easy.

and thanks for trying to make me smile.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:09:08 AM
so i met a very very nice guy (so he seemed at the time) off of this website. i have online dated before so i thought i was getting good at weeding out the bad ones and i felt comfortable enough to give him my number and everything so we could spend some time together and meet up. i spoke to him up until the morning of and everything was still a go for last night. then when six o clock came around and he still wasn't answering his phone and hadn't called i kinda figured something was up. i call again at 745 and again at 930 realizing that salvaging a date from this was hopeless and that he is not going to call me.

so my question is why lead me on??

we obviously had chemistry, i am not scary looking or anything and i really thought we hit it off. so why stand me up? and also why not leave a text or something like hey i cant make it tonight.?? that would have hurt way less. if you guys could help me understand i would totally appreciate it. thanks!!!
 
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