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 Author Thread: hello nj
 puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
hello nj
Posted: 11/27/2017 1:31:13 PM
Hey everyone. Just wanted to say hello and see how active is this board. Im 38 from the mercer county area. Always looking for people to meet up and hang out with. Into music,ovies comics etc.. so shouldnt be hard to meet people and get conversation going.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/11/2013 12:17:25 AM
Pickiness? Rejection? Expectations? Holding on to the past? Hoping for a better future? Just not knowing? What it is we will not know until we walk that path and try. Capture the moment, and just say hello and see where it goes from there.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
30's - limited options?
Posted: 1/11/2013 12:00:26 AM
It's really not that serious. As we get older we have more expectations. When we turned a certain teenage year we had to learn how to drive, it was expected. We went to prom it was expected, turn 18 pick up more responsibilities, turn 21 party!! Turn 25 were you committed or not? turn 30 whats going on? Now do you have to be in a rush? Or just take life how it comes and make your own choices? Some may say it worked so far, some may say it didn't so far. The final answer is what you make it. Doesn't matter if you were 15, 21, 27, 32,42. We may learn from the past. But still stay true to yourself.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Truth about 30's dating.
Posted: 1/10/2013 11:53:28 PM
I am 33 years old. And I feel that I can relate to almost ever topic on this forum about dating in your 30's. It's complicated because we still feel so young. We are looking for fun and commitment at this time. Especially for those who have had serious relationships. It's just human nature. Both for females and males I say. We both want someone who is fun out going etc...

The thing is at our age we almost all had a serious relationship by this time. We know what it's like to live together, make sacrifices. But we still want to capture a part where we want butterflies. We build barriers because of our experiences and it makes it harder to trust and love. However when you want to take that chance you want to take it.

At some point we need to let go of our past and just take a chance. Rejection, acceptance, whatever it is, just open up and take a chance. I'm not going to sit here and say it worked for me cause it hasn't, but at least you know you did what you had to do for yourself and try to put a smile one your face.

Dating in your 30's is rough because what we make it. Just like if you have to date in your 40's , 50's or 60's. Age is a number. Expectation's are another. So don't be afraid, Don't be shallow. Open up and remember our youth while also having expectations. But remember when we had our first butterflies, we didn't have expectations. It was pure curiosity. We sometimes need to remember that.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile review please.
Posted: 6/25/2011 2:31:08 PM
Thank you everyone. I appreciate, the advice and will be putting some new pics up there soon as I get some on my computer. Much appreciated, and will do.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile review please.
Posted: 6/25/2011 11:48:15 AM
Haha, no, it's s euro cap, but I can see how that can look like that.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Profile review please.
Posted: 6/25/2011 11:11:49 AM
Just updated my profile and looking to get some advice on it and see if it's good and how it comes off to those who read it. Hopefully it's good, however creative criticism is always welcomed. Thank you.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Question about some profiles I've been seeing.
Posted: 9/22/2010 2:38:24 AM
Good reply also ifly. Maybe the persons in that situation would feel more comfortable mentioning that in person. I can see that happening completely.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Question about some profiles I've been seeing.
Posted: 9/22/2010 2:36:09 AM
I appreciate the feed back, and also see where everyone is coming from. I'm just suggesting maybe a Transgenders option for those who are looking for that type of commitment. If I'm wrong I can accept that, it was just a suggestion which I made. Like I said, I can care less who any human chooses to be. I'm just suggesting something. If you feel it's wrong especially those from that community please feel free to say so. I don't want anyone taking it the wrong way. I am a person who speaks up for civil rights groups of all types. I really do hope I didn't offend anyone with my suggestion. I'm just saying it was something I noticed tonight when I clicked on 3 profiles and they were let's just say "questionable." I want all people to be happy.

I don't mean to offend anyone at all though. Like I said, just be happy, I'm just making a suggestion for those who live that life style. I'm sure there are people who are looking for someone of that lifestyle and I wish them all the best. I have no problem with it. I even say if you are capable of being great parents adopt or have children. Life is about progression, I'm just suggesting a option for people looking for that kind of gender, choice, life style I guess.

I also agree that people who live that life style (by choice or by birth who am I to say or judge?) are a minority group who don't get spoken for enough.

As for the paranoid part, not at all. As stated I have family members who have different tastes then I do and I respect them and their choice. I have been to quite a few clubs to support my friends and family who have relations in that style for lack of better words let's say.

Once again, I hope I didn't offend anyone because that was not my intention, I was just suggesting may a transgendered option for those who live that life style by choice or by birth. Once again I won't judge someone for who they prefer, just made a suggestion which I hope did not offend anyone of that gender or life style or way of life, way of being happy etc.. Not my intention at all.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 120 (view)
 
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/22/2010 1:15:52 AM
This is a choice that should be made between both parties. No matter age or race or anything. If you want to have a child go for it. Don't let anyone tell you different. Simple as that. People pull up these "facts" about age, however the same can be said about young families also, along with the medication which is pumped into our children today which is insanely high, birth defects happen at all age ranges just like perfectly fine children come from all age ranges.

At the end of the day it is decision which should be made between you and the person who you chose to be with. Simple as that.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Question about some profiles I've been seeing.
Posted: 9/22/2010 1:00:46 AM
Hey everyone, I'm not sure if this is the right place or not for me to ask this question, if not please feel free to move it or let me know. I am a male seeking a female, however tonight I clicked on some profiles that were questionable to me.

Now I don't care who people date or what they do etc... The way I look at it everyone should have a chance to be happy, I can care less. My question is, has POF ever thought of creating a area or a choice for people looking for that kind of life style? Once again, if a man or woman chooses to change themselves hey more power to you, get married, have kids etc.. etc... what not. however maybe a option for them should be considered.

Also if anyone from that community or lifestyle feels offended or anything, I apologize upfront. I don't mean it in a negative light because a few people I know live that life style, and once again I say be happy. Also again, if this is the wrong area for this I apologize. Just throwing out a suggestion to narrow it down a bit better for all involved.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
lets go party at the TIKI BAR South Brunswick, NJ..Friday July 16
Posted: 6/27/2010 1:46:09 PM
I'm not that far from here. I think I'll be able to make it.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Summer Fun @ ONE South Steak House - Sunday, June 13th, 1:00 - 4:00PM
Posted: 6/2/2010 5:31:31 PM
Hey I think I may be able to make it to this. It's not too far from me either.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Why can she not leave me alone?
Posted: 12/18/2009 1:54:50 AM
Oh and make no mistake. If this happened at my school I would have the children work on projects together and pull all adult parties involved to a meeting in my office and rearange my schedule to make sure that both parties are involved and talk to everyone and let them know how screwed up and emotionally damaging the actions are and making me the mediator of the situation is. Not because of the parents but because of the children. I have to mediate for grown adults and find way's for these children to interact peacefully both inside and outside of the class room while the parents feel that they are invincible to this. Oh no I will pull all parties involved in and tell the adults to grow up in this situation, and keep all the children protected from hostile enviroments and do my best to keep your children from attacking each other in the classroom because adults can not and will not handle this situation where all parties are involved.

Talk to the directors and teacher, however be adults also and seperate the children from the discussion. Children should never have to be used as pawns for the adults mistake.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Why can she not leave me alone?
Posted: 12/18/2009 1:39:17 AM
I worked in a school before and my career is in education. The best thing you can do depending on your childs age is go to the director or principle of the school along with the teacher in this situation and tell them that you have you no problem with the children being friends however you do not want the parents of your child to have interactions with your child.

It's honestly a tough situation you are in because children are involved. Best advice I can give you as a person who worked in this enviroment is talk to principle and the director.

I actually feel bad for the children involved because they had nothing to do with this, however as a parent you have to do what is best for your child. Talk to the people in charge at the school and hopefully as adults you and the other party can all agree to leave the children out of a situation which can effect them long term because of failed relationships.

The children are the biggest factors here not the adults. You guys have to resolve this on your own and leave the children out of this. As adults we make our choices and we chose who to be involved with etc... the children meet in school, talk about tv, wrestling, Taylor Swift etc... When adults bring the children into play it is not a good thing. So as adults I hope all parties can talk to each other in respectable manner and say that the children have nothing to do with what has happened and leave them out of the situation on all parties involved.

Adults can not make children the messengers for their mistakes and use their children as tools in that process. Once again, talk to the directors, teachers and principles at the school and you can ask for the parents to not approach your child. However as adults I hope this is a situation that can be handled properly with harming a frindship or the children from both parties involved.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
My first POF date, such a strange turn...
Posted: 12/18/2009 1:10:07 AM
She is a serial texter. So what you do is you call and leave a voice msg. let her know you had a good night out with her would like to see her again. Then wait a few minutes and text her to check her voice mail.

Young buck, you had a great night. there is nothing wrong with telling her you had a great night with her. Step up the game man. Texting is a kids game pretty much. Verbal communication is better. Let her know verbally next time.

Best of luck man. IF this one doesn't work out, now you know for the next time.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 185 (view)
 
How to you get your man to like giving oral sex
Posted: 12/18/2009 1:00:48 AM
WOW. Im a guy who loves to give oral to a lady. It's a mutual thing. I figure if I like getting oral she would also. The better I do it, the better she does it. I do not see how a man would not want to go to work on his lady and taste her and make her feel great. But hey to each their own I guess. I also know some ladies dont like to do oral or swallow so I guess the same applies.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Wrong guys, maybe better forum? lol
Posted: 12/18/2009 12:56:47 AM
I think you are always looking for a challenge in the realtionship. You may want the good guy but you want to take the bad guy and make him into the good guy. Unfortunately it doesn't end up that way.

Like someone said above. You like the drama and if you are not challenged in your relationship you feel like the relationship is not worth it. Instead of looking for the loser/liar/psycho type you may want to upgrade what you are looking for. Look for the guy who has a career and has actuall issues in the work place to keep you challenged. You are looking for a challenge you have to find a way to chanell that challenge and find what you really want. Do you really want to be the lady who is being stalked, dumped, or lied to. Or would you rather help the other person through their challenges and find someone who wants to challenge you to better also?

You like drama. You just have to upgrade your drama to find the person who you want and create a balance.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 54 (view)
 
if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl...
Posted: 12/18/2009 12:44:04 AM
Not happening. Simple as that. Too many issues can arrise. If my lady to me it's ok to be with another woman or women I wouldn't do it. Being single is different from the relationship standard. If I'm single ok sure why not have another lady or ladies in the room. However if you are in a relationship with one person you shouldnt bring others into the bed room. It's a show of respect if a man is going to throw his lady out their for use he might as well whore her out and make a profit off of it. It a lady is going to do the same for a guy the same thing.

Being single is one thing, being in a relationship is another. If my lady wants to have a three some with a chick I will look at her differently, if my lady wants to have a three some with another guy I will look at her I will look at her differently.

If it was to get to that point and letting people come into the bed room whats the difference between prostitution? Your my lady, I'm your man. You want guest, hey I'm all for that but then you go from my lady to my ho.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Little bit confused! Am I doing the right thing?
Posted: 12/18/2009 12:36:09 AM
To the OP I'm sorry. People say to fast that you are young, etc.. however at 22 years of age you found someone and moved in with them 6 months later. Here you are now 3 years later living pretty much as roomates. You have gone through more then many others here will like to admit. Especially considering the situation of sexuality at hand.

If you still love each other, let her know. If you still love her, let her know. At the end of the day if the relationship ends up falling apart you know you did what you had to do and said what you had to say. The fault goes to the people who do not show their emotions and let the other person walk away from them and then hate them. Don't let people tell you your age is a matter here, your feelings are. Sure you think Carrie Underwood is hot, so do I, so do many others here, that is not a issue to break up over. Bring yourself peace though and tell her how you feel about her. Hopefully she respects your feelings, and will listen .

However, I will say if she is getting jealous about you finding Carrie Underwood attractive you may want to becarefull of a relationship which is one where your partner feels jealousy. Jealousy at times can turn into a situation which is abusive and controling. So weigh your options first. However I think this is a situation which can be resolved by expressing your feelings. What's the worst that can happen? You guys sepperate? At least you know you said what you had to say.

Best of luck.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
New to 30
Posted: 11/27/2009 5:21:54 PM
So I just turned 30 a few weeks back and was just wondering if you guys had any advice or what to look forward to in the upcoming decade in terms of dating. Havent noticed anything yet however I know as time goes by there will be things that I will take notice of, figure a head start would give me a edge there.

Thanks.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 159 (view)
 
how come ladies don't like men who play videogames??
Posted: 11/27/2009 5:16:44 PM
Luckily I have not had this problem yet in my life. However I don't spend hours upon hours playing video games too often.

However it can be a few things though. If you are spending 2 or more hrs playing video games everyday while your lady is with you then I can see a problem with that. One of my friends wife did not mind that he played video games, she just said that sometimes she get's bored watching him play. He decided to get some games that they can play together like scene it and a few others like that, now they play video games all the time which lets he use her competetiveness.

Another is that some ladies just may not be into it at all. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out thats all man.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Vegetarian Potluck
Posted: 10/14/2009 7:42:07 PM
Vegie Kabobs are never a bad idea.

Tofu, Peppers, Mushrooms, Onions, cherry tomatos, seasoned jack daniels pepper and oregano grill for a few minutes or pan fry for a few minutes and your good to go.

My x was vegetarian so I had to learn how to cook quite a few things.

You can also do small veggie chorizo burritos
Or a portabella mushroom pasta lasagna can work also.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
So whats up with my profile?
Posted: 9/5/2009 7:45:50 PM
Ok updated it, hopefully it's a bit better now.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
So whats up with my profile?
Posted: 9/5/2009 7:17:35 PM
Cool, I could have sworn I had more written in my profile when I created it. Thanks for the advice, either tonight or tomorrow I will re write it make a little update, add a new picture. Thanks everyone.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
So whats up with my profile?
Posted: 9/5/2009 6:50:51 PM
So I have been on here for over a month, maybee two. I'm wondering whats wrong with my profile. I have 2 pictures one with a hat on the other with out the hat on. I don't think I have worded anything crazy or scary on it, so what's wrong with it? Is there a reason why ladies are scared off or just not into it for some reason?

Thanks for the advice in advance everyone.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Silly girl.
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:20:02 AM
For Goodwitch.

She was not into me. Hence the reason why I left her in the firts place. Now you say that I am not intresting to go out with how would you know that? As for you last comment about putting a woman through this, I'm not that guy. But thanks for the compliment and making me more secure in my great**** Considering that it's easier for a female to get a male I find it intresting that your insult towards me was towards how good my****was. Obviously you missed the part where I said that I was looking for more then sex.

Hey it's ok though, I'm sure there is someone out there for you that would accept you for who you are, and I wish for the best for both you and he. Please though next time take into consideration what another person is talking about and not try to manipulate it to Joe Schmuckatelly down the street. I'm not that guy. Sorry Goodwitch for your poor experience that led for you to reply in the way you did, I'm sure you did not deserve it. Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Silly girl.
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:29:13 PM
Omi great post, good points.

Honey you are right there are always 2 sides to each story, maybee there was something about me that she may not have liked and she was unable to communicate with me.

Makista - Thanks, I don't claim to be perfect but in most of my relationships the females let me know later that I was a great person to them during and after the relatinships. I create these posts to also take creative criticism. You can always learn from any situation that is given to you in life.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Silly girl.
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:17:20 PM

OP, it's clear you and she both are not on the same page and are on a different path in life and your expectations in a relationship are both different.

I believe you giving her an ultimatum is way out of line. If you both cared for each other it was up to BOTH of you to try and compromise and make it work, but you are just pointing the finger at her and blaming her. Yep I'd be mad too if I was her.


I agree about when you are in a relationship both parties have to compramise. I have compramised many things to fit her into my schedules, into my life, I have helped her when she was going to school. I now look back and think that when she asked me to give her a second chance, I should have just cut it off there and said no. Then again I don't like seeing people cry and if a person is genuine to trying to make something work out I am willing to myself also. When she told me for the 3rd day in a row that she was coming over just to not show up, there was nothing more to explain. It was just time to go and that is that.

I do agree though in any realtionship compramise is a huge thing which both parties must do. In this situation it was just one person who was doing it though and that person happened to be me. One of her favorite lines was "it's always my way and how I say". So I compramised she didn't so I had to say ok no point on even trying to just keep on moving thats it.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Silly girl.
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:09:25 PM
Thank you caliente, I was thinking that she was also trying to play me so that was one of the reasons why I had to tell her that it wasn't working out. I do wish for the best and have no ill will toward her though. So best of luck to her. Even if at her young age she is acting a bit foolish. Hopefully I tought her something and she learns from it.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
The second date
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:27:07 PM
Awww isn't that sweet. Haha

Ok seriously though, I'm glad for you man. I hope for the best for you. Maybee one day I'll write one of these posts.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Silly girl.
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:09:43 PM
[copy]Impossible to say. You don't say anything about WHAT is damaging the relationship. If you communicated this as badly with her as you did here, I'm not surprised she still got it wrong.
That said, your basic equation is ipso facto correct: if you want x, and she only wants to give y, or vice versa, you two are incompatible. [/img]

I think you may have missed something in the post, may have read over it but I stated that one of the issues was the seeing each other once a week though. I completely agree though that we are incompatible.

Another example I would tell her come to my families outings and she wouldn't want to go because it wasn't centered around her.

One more would be knowing that I wanted to go to a said event she would say that she didn't want to go, I would still go on my own, only to see her walking around the place. Last time I confronted her at the place she freaked out and walked away. I was like, if you didn't want to come down here why are you here and why are you freaking out that you saw me knowing I was going to be here?

But it's ok, I know we are not compatible for each other, and I hope that she finds what she is looking for, anad hopefully I find what I am looking for also. No hard feelings and it's been a while that we haven't been officially together. It's just not a good fit at this moment in time and we both need to move on like I tried to do a month and a half ago. I just thought it was silly for her to get mad at me for telling her that she's not trying to fix things rather just going back to the same routine and think I was going to be ok with it.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Silly girl.
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:01:23 PM
Yeah pretty much I wanted to see her more often however she would always have something else that she thought was more important. Like sleeping 14 hours a day.

As Blakkardaberry mentioned it wasn't like dating it seemed like it was just that a once a week booty call. Don't get me wrong, I like sex as much as the next person, but I am looking for more out of the female that I am calling my lady.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Silly girl.
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:33:32 PM
Ok, I broke up with my lady about a month and a half ago. She called me the next day asking to talk so I said sure. She said she loved me etc.. etc... etc... She begged for me to give her a chance to work things out. I told her sure I'm going to give you the chance to work things out, however we are not together. You have to show me you want to be with me.

For a few day's everything is going ok, after that she reverted back to the same shit all over again. Now she's mad at me for telling her that is why we are not together, it was up to you to try to see if you wanted to fix the issues that you had in this relationship. so needless to say I am tired of the game and told her just keep it moving from here. There is no point in continuing this trend. I am too old to play juvenile High School games with a female who claims to love me but thinks it's ok to see the person who is in a relationship with her only once a week.

So why would a lady think that is ok? I personally think that shows the lack of respect in a relationship. If I say in a polite way this isn't working out, and we are not what we want for each other why try to keep it going and say you are going to fix something only to try to play a game for a week and go back to the same crap that was destroying the relationship? To me it's just rediculous.

Am I wrong here ?
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Fustrated with online dating
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:48:28 PM
Well to be fair the frustration can go both ways. I haven't been on this site long, and I haven't been really "fishing" I guess, but it's what happens in dating.

For example after seeing your profile I would send you a msg, however for all I know I may be the guy that you don't write back to. If that's the case I have to accept it and move on and keep on going. That's it.

Now I will say that if a guy lives in Chi town and they are not replying to your msg's I would question them. If you sent me a msg I would reply back, especially if I was in Chicago.
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Is it fair to be friends with your ex?
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:50:44 AM
I have been friends with pretty much all my ex's. If anyone came into my life and told me I had to chose her over a friend I would tell her welcome to being one of my ex's now. You can join the group that I don't talk to.

Just because a relationship did not work does not mean that you can't still remain friends with that person.

I agree however that being friends with a ex should have it's limitations. Just because I am friends with them I'm not going to go over for drinks and dinner on Tuesday nights. That would be disrespectful to the person who I would be seeing. However if they called me because they were in a emergency I'm not going to turn my back on that person especially if I consider them a friend.

The ocassions that I would speak with my ex's are few and far in between and it's not a 2 hour conversation or anything. Being friends with a ex is a good thing in my book.

However if you think that being friends also includes late night booty calls when your angry with the person you are with ok then that is a completely different story and that would be unfair to the person you are with.
 
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