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 Author Thread: Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
 MathosTx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 126 (view)
 
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 2/15/2016 8:53:14 PM
The answer to that is, who doesn't get a little offended when a member of the opposite sex doesn't respond to them?

Sure it loses its sting after a while, as anyone who has any real experience in the world of dating can tell you. But, unfortunately at your age OP, many young women don't have that experience, or time in the field to have built themselves up enough to ignore it. Granted online dating is a special case, as even older people can react poorly about such things here.

The other issue is, everyone has a different view of what is overweight, obese, average, thin, etc. I particularly like the ones that are rail thin, with no muscle tone, that call themselves athletic. I also get a kick out of those that label themselves as extra padding when they're only what I consider average. Average I consider is a healthy, not thin, not athletic, but still having curves, and some muscle tone combined.

Now as far as the self proclaimed fitness "experts", give it a rest people. Unless you've had to actually put forth the effort to actually lose any large amount of weight, you are no expert on other peoples bodies or health. Every ones bodies, react differently to different diets, and stress situations. What works for you may not work for someone else. My rule of thumb is desired weight target in lbs x10 for calorie intake as an example. But, that only works if you eat the proper amount of meals per day. Which is part of the cause of the obesity epidemic. People, due to work, or other stress factors and time constraints tend to skip important meals, or only eat once or twice a day, which slows the metabolism down.. Add on top of that, people depending on fast food as part of their diets, during those situations. Then add on all the preservatives and chemical crap, thats in fast food or canned / prepacked foods.

And that's coming from someone who knows the struggle to lose weight. Personally lost 40lbs in the past 6months. Still nowhere near where I want to be. And that was done by simply cutting fast food, and staying away from pre packed or canned food most of the time. Still eating a fair amount of food. My main problem right now, is I don't eat often enough to speed my metabolism back up like I need to.
 Mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 548 (view)
 
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 10:05:57 PM
Actually this change will end up hurting POF in the long run. It will drive away legitimate adults who once used this site to meet people. And since, as a free site, POF makes its money from non upgraded members by displaying ads, well, you get the picture. Fewer potential people viewing said ads, equals less value to said advertisers, thus they pay less for site real estate.. It equates to shooting yourself in the foot to spite your leg.

Now I'm seriously curious as to what kind of reputation PoF had.. Because prior to this little event, I use to recommend the site to people who wanted to meet people but didn't like the bar seen or have huge amounts of time to go out cruising. I can safely say that right now, and for the foreseeable future, I will not be recommending this site to anyone. In fact I'll likely steer them towards other sites, until some common sense comes back to the site.

And like I said, it's not that it effects me, though very slightly, I have 1 person I can't message, that added me to their favorites of their own accord. And, I don't go out of my way to message much younger women, though if one of legal age messages me and the spark is there I shouldn't be restricted. And as I said before, the reasoning behind it was personally offensive due to my family history with age differences in marriages.

And like has been mentioned multiple times, the proper way to fix the problem was to require people to select an age range upon profile creation or next login. Or, allow people to override the restrictions on an individual basis by setting their own age preferences, and if both parties have compatible preferences, then they can message each other. That way, it's still in the control of the individual. And not someone just arbitrarily deciding that my entire family are perverts because of their age differences for their mates.
 Mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 479 (view)
 
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/26/2013 6:38:49 PM
I've been watching this site roll down hill for at least 4 years now. From randomly making features paid features. To sudden heavy handed restrictions on things like this. My point of view is, Marcus is trying to push people off the site. Or he has absolutely no idea how attraction and dating actually work.

I agree with the posted idea right on page one. The best option would of been to require people to set and age range when they set up their profiles, or the next time they logged in after the update. Those that don't want to have such a strict age limit, can chose to not set one. This would solve pretty much the entire mentioned problem.

The fact that you restricted the age isn't the problem for me, as I generally don't go out of my way to seek out younger women. A lot of times, they're a lot of trouble, or you end up training them for someone else. Though, if a younger woman messages me during a period when I'm looking for a relationship, I'm not going to turn them away if they're local, and there is a good mental connection. I've had 1 or 2, 18-19 year olds add me to their favorites of their own accord, and I'm 35, gonna be 36 this year. Now suddenly when I decide I'm looking again, I can't contact those women, and they can't contact me.

The part that actually offends me, is your justification for it. That people who contact with that age difference are just looking for a hook up. Obviously that must be too, but I guess someone forgot to tell my sister that. She's married to someone 16 years older than her, they married the year after she graduated highschool in 1987, and they've been married for 26 years. My first step father, was 17 years older than my mother, they were married for 12 years. My father, is married to a woman 15 years younger than him. I guess those were just short term hook ups though...

Now lets not mention the fact, that for hundreds of years before the internet and this site, women were marrying older men on a fairly regular basis. It's only in recent years with the rise of tv vanity, where everyone has to be perfect and you should only be with someone within a couple years of you, being forced on society that any of this has came to light.

Do I encourage old dudes to go and message teenagers, hell no, it's kinda creepy when a lot do it. Do I also realize some guys go for older women, or some young women go for older guys? Yes I do. And those are the people you're alienating with this.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Faking It
Posted: 3/18/2011 11:05:57 PM


That wasn't the case with me. It just took a split second to reach down and feel the condom after withdrawal---and before the guy had a chance to whisk it off and fling it under the bed. He never even knew I knew.


True for the most part, but I use those Trojan Ecstacy's they don't have the chamber at the end.

And A condom will only blow up to a certain point, after that they break and it's not a problem :P
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Faking It
Posted: 3/18/2011 1:42:51 PM

^^Ok, excuse my "ignorance", but how does a man fake it? Do you think about someone else vs. who you are with (obviously not doing it for you). Thus, orgasming? I'm not getting this one.................


It's easier than you think, especially if you're wearing a condom. Had a few times with people where I'd get real close but just couldn't get over the edge. Didn't want to make the girl feel bad, so I told her I got off, and threw the condom in the toilet and flushed before she could see it.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
The Look On Her Face
Posted: 9/13/2010 1:16:00 PM
Yeah, I've seen it before, comes in different forms though. One woman I had when doing it from behind would have her had down but turned off to the side, would be bout the pull the better pad and mattress cover off the bed, eyes would be lightly close or barely open, and she'd either be softly biting her lip or mouth open breathing hard. I'd say she'd of been moaning, but she's probably the least vocal person I've been with unless she was about the climax. Now, if she was on top or we were in any other face to face position, she'd have a look on her face like that, but she'd have this slight devilish smile and be looking right into my eyes as much as possible. and either just about trying to pull me into her or scratch me up on the back.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Her busy Schedule
Posted: 9/13/2010 12:43:38 PM

I'm been approached on line (& off) by ladies who seem interested in getting to know me & or dating. But their schedules are so busy, be it 2 jobs (or more) or job and further education, or job & volunteering etc. You get the picture. I work 1st shift basically a 7 to 5 job. So many ladies get all the way to "let's meet" before they admit they have 5 evenings full each week, possibly the weekend full with part time work or whatever. These ladies think it's OK to schedule a date 3 weeks out, then seem miffed if they get the hint that i am chatting with another lady or showing interest in some one more "available". Come on, if you are looking for a relationship but unwilling or unable to take the time to launch it, why would i think you will be anymore interested in supporting a relationship as it matures?
How many people have experienced this situation & how did you handle it?


Yeah OP, I've had that a couple times on here. Though when it comes down to it, 90% of the time I've had no problems with meeting someone that had a lot going on. But, throw distance into the picture and it gets 10 times worse. I'm pretty busy myself, and it's hard to get time off where I work, so if schedules aren't the same or compatible it becomes a problem some times. Just so happens that one of my peeves when it comes to meeting people off the internet is if someone wastes my time. Especially when it comes to time off, because it could be used to do something besides dealing with someone changing plans or bailing.

Far as I'm concerned though, doesn't seem to matter how tough a schedule someone has, if they really truly want to meet they're going to make time or come to a compromise with you to make it happen. Usually if there is a connection, after that there isn't as much of a problem. Had someone in the last few months do that kinda thing though, sorta conflicting schedules as I usually get days off mid week, and she has weekends off. Now at early on she'd considered calling in to work on one of my days off so we could meet, but obviously that never happened. After that, I'd tried to get things going to meet anywhere from 3 or 4 days in advance, to up to about 3 weeks, more or less long enough to put in time for a special day off to do so. Anyway, after two months we hadn't met yet, and I'd wasted two Saturdays that I had to pull some strings for and put in time for at work to try and meet. To only have her suddenly go quiet or pop up with something coming up or other plans that had conveniently been forgotten when it came down to crunch time.

So when it comes down to it, if the person is within a reasonable distance and you haven't met within a couple weeks, they most likely aren't as interested in meeting as they say they are. Or, there's another guy in the picture and they don't have the guts to be honest about it, and can't make time to juggle it or get in trouble. If a person really wants to meet and get to know you, their schedule won't get in the way, neither will distance. Everybody has a social life of some sort, plus work, or school or both, and thing's they enjoy doing outside of work. But, if they really like someone or are serious about meeting the people they're talking to, the things outside of work and school will become secondary to meeting that particular person. But, there comes a point where after a while, you say Enough is enough, and if you haven't met yet you cut your losses and walk away.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
a no show for meet ups
Posted: 8/31/2010 8:07:07 AM
*takes man card an cuts off a corner, shakes head*

My advice would be to drop her like a lead brick and move on, just make sure she doesn't hit your foot when you drop her.

In the little over a year I've been on here, and I've met about 1 or 2 people a month, on average, I've only had two people do that so far. One was early on and the same bs went on for close to 6 months. And the other ones been more recent and has gone on for about 2 months. Never did meet that first one, far as I know anyway, and highly doubt I'm gonna keep talking to the second one much after this weekend, or if I don't hear from her, tomorrow. So I know what you're going through. One of those, don't like to give up the opportunity to meet someone because you never know who you'll have a connection with. Bad part about that second one was, for about the first week or so, she'd considered calling in to work to meet, and I'd tried to help out if she did, after that though it hasn't gone anywhere.

Cold hard reality is, she's wasting your time and you're allowing her to do so. Remember, when it comes down to it, a woman doesn't want a doormat or someone that she can walk all over and get away with it. You've most likely either been put in the friend zone, or on the shelf with the other back up plans. Some people like to play games, especially when it comes to internet dating. Like someone else said, I usually meet within 1 or 2 weeks of first contact. 99% of the time if the other person is really interested in meeting it'll happen within that time frame. If there is distance and schedule conflict involved, I'll give maybe a month to a month and a half as it can be hard to get time off, even then I won't go over 100miles.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why do people not tell the truth upfront?
Posted: 8/29/2010 7:52:34 PM
I don't know, usually I get a gut feeling somewhere along the line, as to whether they're being on the up and up with me. Some times it's before meeting in person, some times it happens after. Depends on whether you end up noticing early warning signs or not. I personally don't see a point in lying about myself and what I'm after on here, so I know I haven't given anyone that problem. Though I've had a couple pull that with me.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Erection problems
Posted: 8/12/2010 2:18:33 PM
It's completely a mental thing when it comes down to it... Trust me, I been there, and it was with the one woman I been with that I was REALLY into. Not quite as bad off though. I just had the problem that if I knew I was getting off before her, I felt inadequate and once you think you're going to lose the erection, you lose it. It's because I was too worried about pleasing her and whether she was getting off or not, instead of just enjoying it and going with the flow.

And it had enough of a psychological effect on me, that the first time I was with anyone after things ended with her I had the same problem.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Things I Wish I Would Have Known about Dating When I was 16
Posted: 8/3/2010 12:58:34 PM

4. If he cheats on you, leave him, you are too good to deal with it.


This one is one of the biggest I see here, and I've known a lot of people that need to take that advice.


5. When a break up occurs, he is not the last guy that will ever like you.


Same go's for the guys on here that let themselves get so down when a break up occurs.


9. If he wants to pay, let him. It makes him feel like a man.
10. Offer to pay, or treat for dessert.


Not really the case, some people were just brought up that way. In my opinion it's ok to offer to split if it's still early in the relationship or the first date. I won't ever let a woman I go on a date with pay for my half of the meal. But, I'm not against her helping out if she wants.


11. Do not have sex on the first date; he will lose respect for you.


Not really the case here either. Some guys are just after sex, and they will lose respect for you regardless if it's the first date or 2 or 3 months down the line dating. Some are just more patient than others on how long they'll wait. And are more likely playing the field with other women while they do so.


14. Cook, cook, cook and bake. It is the way to a man’s heart.


Actually through the back is the shortest way . Really, the way to a mans heart is to treat him with respect, like an equal. Show genuine interest in some of his hobbies and don't be afraid to invite him to take part in some of yours. Common interests do help a lot.


19. If a guy is a slob, it probably won’t change.


It can change, but like anything else, the person has to genuinely want to make a change in their life in order for it to happen.


22. Be careful when you say, “Let’s be friends”, they may really want to be your friend, and then fall in love with you.


A problem here and a big one. Word of advice for guys on this one. If a girl says lets be friends, and you know you got a thing for her. Say No, it wouldn't work out. And move on and cut your losses. Have enough respect for yourself to not put yourself through that. Same goes for women.


24. Don’t change for a guy; find a guy that likes you for you.


My answer to that is, think about the same thing when you go for a guy. Don't go for a guy because you think he's hot and try and change his personality or habits. It's not gonna happen and you'll end up disappointed and hurt in the long run.


26. Never fake an orgasm. How does it benefit you?


Some people say why not. But I agree with you here. Guys ego's may be fragile when it comes down to it. But there are plenty out there like me that are more than willing to listen. Especially if you open up and communicate about what gets you turned on, or the things that you know will get you off. I know that's what I prefer out of a partner, if I'm not doin something right, fricken tell me.


28. Being nice and being used are very different. Don’t let a guy take advantage of you.


This right here, very big key ^ especially for the nice guys out there. There is a difference between just being a person with a nice or sweet personality in general, and allowing people to use you as a doormat because you want them to like you. Have enough self respect to not allow people to use you. That goes for men and women in general.


35. If he says “I love you” and you do not love him. Say “Thank you”. Do not say “No you don’t” or “I love you too”.


So what exactly is a guy to do when a woman says she loves him, and he may not feel that way towards her yet?


48. Classic breakup phrase is “It’s not you, it’s me”, It should be “It’s not you, or me, it is us”


That's about on the same level as "it didn't have anything to do with anything you did." Think people do need to be more honest when they say things like that.


51. Online dating:
a. Meet in a public place.


Sound advice, always best to meet the first time in a public place. And depending on the person then go wherever you're both comfortable.


b. Let them drive to you.


One thing if you don't have a car or it's not a very long distance. But if you both have transportation meet in the middle, or both drive to a town where there is plenty to do that's the same distance for both of you. Mostly for the first meet or date, anything after that, well is up to you.


c. You must talk online, become a facebook friend, TALK on the phone (texting is not an appropriate substitute), even skype, and then meet in person.

d. Talk to them for a least a week before meeting them


Honestly, talking on line is good to see if there is mutual interest, but don't do that for more than a few emails, mainly don't take forever to ask for a phone number.. Facebook friends only happens with people I really know or have met and got a long with/continued contact. Some people prefer texting for some reason, but I am getting to the point where I may just call someone if I want to talk instead of texting again.

And for at least a week? Is that the way you interact with people you meet in person too? One week isn't bad really. Though most of the time you'll know whether you'll really want to meet someone within the first few phone/txt convo's. Just don't ever draw it out past a month. People have a tendency to build up false expectations and images if what the other is suppose to look like. And the longer it gets drawn out the worse it gets and the more prone to disappointment both parties are.


j. Guys usually add a few inches to their height. even found this on a research study.


I don't know about other guys, but I go by the height they give me at the doctors office. So unless you're sitting there measuring a person how exactly you gonna know?


k. You cannot like someone until you meet them in person


This is actually very true, for the most part. You can't really know if you LIKE someone until after you've met in person. Can't tell if there is chemistry or true attraction over txt or emails or phone conversation. Also why I don't like drawing out the talking before meeting for too long.


m. Be aware, a lot of guys on a free dating site, want sex. Find out intentions before meeting


No, that's guys in general, doesn't matter if they're on a free, pay, or met in person site.


n. Remember you can’t see limps, wandering or lazy eyes, lisps, alcoholism or mental illnesses in pictures.


Depends, some things you can, Lazy eye you can, unless they're really trained at hiding it. Lisps you'll pick up over phone conversation. Alcoholism should be picked up within the first week or so of talking, especially if they talk about being out drinking a lot. And some mental illnesses can show through in pictures, especially if you know what to look for, but that takes having some psychology training. And if you're worried about limps, ask the guy.. Granted you may get a smartass like me that will go no, but if you want I can walk funny, kinda like those wal-mart walks that Larry the cable guy does.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Occasional problems reaching orgasm
Posted: 7/28/2010 11:43:17 AM

Perhaps you should stop with the palm sisters. I would think years of reliance upon your own manner of release could be the issue. You've programmed yourself to cum in your own way and now that the novelty of intercourse may have worn off, you are finding it harder to orgasm while with her, or having her jerk you off. Women who have relied upon B.O.B.s can have the same problem......

Could be wrong though...not a man.


Sounds like it's more psychological. Honestly, I myself didn't lose my virginity till I was 29, and like him took care of myself every day up till then. Generally though, even if you can last a while by hand, when it comes to being with a woman it's a whole different ballgame, different sensations, emotional connections, wetness. Unless of course you're going all out and using lube while flying solo.

If you know that you not getting off is making your girlfriend frustrated, it will have a psychological effect on you as well, making it harder to get off because you're trying to hard. Same as it makes her think she's not good enough for you, or isn't pleasing you. What you needa do, is let go of everything, and just enjoy the time and sex. Don't worry bout whether you're getting off or not, let it go as it comes.

Now, it could be that you use a specific stroke or motion on yourself that causes you to get off easily when solo. Something she wouldn't know to do unless you were to tell her. Which comes to possible lack of communication when it comes to sex?
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Projecting a sexual vibe?
Posted: 7/27/2010 4:08:50 PM
Well, if you're really interested in being more than friends with her...

A: Be assertive, but not overly aggressive. If she's interested in being more, there will be plenty of opportunity to go for a kiss, simple as that. And some women don't like making the first move.

B: Open communication about sexuality, likes and dislikes. If she's into you she'll be willing to talk about these things, in fact it helps a lot with anticipation on her end from what I've seen. If she's not interested in being more than friends she'll let you know. But, at the same time, don't make it the only thing you talk about with her.

C: Test the waters with subtle moves to gauge interest. Seeing if she'll hold your hand, or allow you to put your arm around her while watching a movie or tv, and cuddle. Has worked a lot for me. Easiest way to see if there is any chemistry while in a more personal situation as far as being out with a person. Put your arm up on the back of the couch, or bench, if they sit down next to you, and lean into you it's a pretty dead giveaway. Last gf I had when she's hang out with me, she'd start out at the other end of the couch, and somehow if I put my arm up on the back of the couch, she'd always end up pulling it around her right next to me.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Occasional problems reaching orgasm
Posted: 7/25/2010 8:00:05 PM
Ok, couple questions. Is it a matter of you being emotionally attracted to the girlfriend, but not 100% physically?

Do you take any kind of anti depressants? Those were always a pain, could barely get myself off then, let alone anyone else doing so.

Are you always doing the same things or using the same positions? Like her always on top, or always in Missionary etc. I've had that problem, depending on the woman, if they were on top for example I couldn't get off to it.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 83 (view)
 
What does it take for a woman to suck in bed?
Posted: 7/18/2010 3:07:19 PM
Let's see

Unresponsive to whats happening

Non Communication: I'm not a mind reader, you gotta let me know what really turns you on and what you don't like.

Doesn't Participate in the act: Had one partner that depending on her mood would kinda be that way, if I tried I could usually get her just about pulling the sheets off the bed though.

Just lays there: Nuff said, though I don't mind pickin someone up and moving em into whatever position from time to time as long as they're joining in.

Always wants the lights out: I don't like the lights all on, but do like a little mood lighting. Don't get me wrong I can find my way around in the dark, but I like to be able to look into the womans eyes depending on whether they're on top or in a position where thats possible.

Too quiet: That goes along with communication, if they lay there and never really make a sound, until they're about the get off, you can't tell whether you're doin it right or not.

Too loud: Do you really need to wake the neighbors so they can also enjoy the fun?

I could go on.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Can't orgasm
Posted: 7/14/2010 5:12:52 PM

And I am not totally lacking in feeling for my man not being able to get me off, as he has told me that he 'never had any trouble before getting his women off". But, then again, that has also added the pressure that I am 'not as good as his other women' in this area so, hells bells, I just don't know anymore. I guess I will just keep on doing what I'm doing and hopefully something will fall into place (or out of place) one day and all the "O's" will be mine for the taking.


You know not to long ago, back in January, I went through the same kinda thing with someone. Was seeing someone through December and January. Was difficult because she had moved 375 miles south at the end of december. We'd kinda messed around a little before she moved, mostly Oral or a little foreplay and making out. Apparently I did good enough with the Oral to where after she moved if we were cam 2 cam I could stick my tongue out and pick on her she'd turn beet red and hide her face. But, when she came back up to stay with me for a week, a few weeks after she moved, things went full swing. The only problem there was, was that I couldn't last long enough to get her off the first few times. Part of the reason was, she'd told me she liked it slow, the feeling of it going in and out and stuff. Cold hard reality with that is, when we go slow, goes don't last as long due to the extra sensation and friction involved. Especially if the woman may be tighter than they're use to. She admitted that I'd got her pretty close almost every time. But hadn't ever got her to full orgasm. She'd admitted later, that I'd got her to at least ejaculate almost every time, what she considered minor orgasms. But, I hadn't got her to a major one, she had admitted that only one person had ever been able to give her a major one every time. But, I knew she said she was hard to get off before we got together.

In hindsight I look back and realize, due to the fact she'd told me how she preferred I'd tried to stick to that most of the time. And, the entire time I was more worried about whether she was getting off or not before I got off. When it comes down to it, she's the only person I've had that problem with. A lot of it had to do with the feelings that were involved, if you really really like someone, and feel a good connection with em, and then something like that happens it can be a big problem. A good part of it had to do with the disappointment in myself that I wasn't pleasing her the way I wanted to. So in a situation where with others, I could blow one off and keep going, with her I'd lose it after going off the first time and couldn't get it back up because I was letting it get to me too much. When with other women I'd just gone with the flow, and enjoyed the act, and not worried about things. And I also realize that I hadn't been doing certain things with her that I'd done with pretty much every one else.

So you can see, that it has a huge psychological effect on a guy if they know they aren't getting you off. Any guy who really knows what physical signs to look for is going to know the truth on that, as to whether he did or not. I think the problem is mostly in his head. What he needs to do is let go of it all, and just enjoy the act of being with you in that way, because if he doesn't the pressure will end up breaking the relationship. It could also be that you may of told him that you prefer to do it a certain way, and he tries to stick to that trying to get you off that way, instead of changing to things he knows have worked on other women. There was a link on these forums a while back that talked about the female sexual stimulation points, understanding those can help a person understand why doing certain things with a person just works or seems to always work no matter who it is.

Sorry for being so long winded here.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Ex issues
Posted: 7/6/2010 7:45:17 AM
Well, it's called a mentally abusive relationship. I've got an ex right now that the only reason I lost her is because of 50% distance, and 50% her ex at the time was pulling the same crap. Every time she'd start going out with someone he'd guilt trip her into feeling like she was cheating on him even though they'd been broken up for several months.

Guys do this because you let them. You gotta stop being afraid of taking the risk of cutting him out and just do it. Otherwise no matter how long it's been he will still try and control you. And since you're afraid to let go, he'll succeed.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Out of my league
Posted: 7/6/2010 12:53:44 AM
Cold hard reality is, your post shows you lack some confidence in yourself. That is probably your biggest issue. Plus since you're new to dating you're still afraid of rejection which will hold you back immensely.

Here's some advice, this whole load of bs about leagues, and what you see on tv about dating within your league and all that, get it out of your mind. There are no such thing as leagues when it comes to dating. Leagues are for sports, bowling, and measures of distance ;P. Cold hard reality is as long as you show some confidence in yourself, take care of your appearance, and at least show a little bit of fashion sense you can have pretty much anyone you want. It doesn't matter if you're a nice guy or not(sadly on the not :P). There are some out there of course that will be shallow and judge based on looks scale, but really, that's so highschool/middleschool.

Stop caring! Now that doesn't mean don't care about ppl's feelings or whats going on in their lives. That means you gotta stop caring about being rejected or whether or not you get replies.. Lifes all about taking risks, and the rewards that may come from taking those risks. Thankfully the risks involved in dating are far less severe than those with other things. If someone on here doesn't reply or deletes your message without replying trust me, it's not your loss.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Am I Doing something wrong?
Posted: 7/5/2010 11:08:33 PM
Neh, you most likely didn't do anything wrong. You've just run into a rash of flakes much like I have this time of year. Think it's just a thing that shows up during summer, as other times of year I've had no problems at all meeting ppl from here. I'm bout to cut one lose that started talking to me that's been acting similar. She was real enthusiastic about talking and stuff for a while, then seems like after I suggested meeting the first time she's turned into near non existent, or she may respond to about half my attempts at conversing if that at times. Right now it's coming up on a month and we still haven't met in person. So I'm not planning on wasting much more time with her at all. But really, seems like they come out more during the summer, maybe just the heat, or they like screwing with ppl or playing games, noticed that pattern last year too.

My advice, don't sweat it, all you did was waste a little time getting to know her, otherwise it's not your loss. If they do that just delete the number, remove em from your favorites or remove yourself from their favs and never speak to them again. I've had a few message me weeks or a month later, asking why I stopped talking to em after such, and the few I've given a second chance to have more or less turned out not being who they said they were or there was just no spark or connection.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Women can't fake it
Posted: 7/5/2010 2:52:34 PM
OP's idea is a load. But, women will try and fake it if they aren't getting there and getting bored with the sex. Most guys are oblivious to the actual physical signs that a woman has orgasmed or even ejaculated.

Depending on the woman, clue number 1: Did she go from comfortably wet and lubricated to OMG it's like a slip and slide in there and dripping wet. Last serious relationship I had the only way I could tell she'd gotten off half the time was from that, or her legs starting to twitch, since she wasn't very vocal unless you were getting her really going good. Same goes if you're eating a woman out, that particular fluid is going to taste a lot different than the normal vag fluids produced from having her turned on.

Also depending on the women, clue 2: Did her clit suddenly become REALLY sensitive while playing with her during sex.

There are more, but those are for starters.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 9:19:27 AM
From what you describe I wouldn't of wasted my time with her too long. Honestly your best bet is to move on past her. I've had to deal with a woman that acted like that before, and it never turns out well. And with that kind never take the can we be friends option. My experience is you end up with a person being attached to you constantly that you can't do anything but be platonic with.

Has she always been that way about answering questions? Again I've seen that before, usually means either they don't feel a connection with you, or have something to hide. True relationships are based on honesty and openness, and that doesn't sound like it was one.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Bum sex, why can't I do it?!
Posted: 5/7/2010 7:33:31 PM
As far as the smell and taste thing go, one would think he'd notice whether her butt was stinky or not while he was eatting her out???? Kinda close proximity there, and some women like their anus licked around the outside :P
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Says they want to get to know you and go out, but.....
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:22:04 PM
I dont know bout giving up. May be a bit burned out as of late though. Just ran into a few too many flakes lately. The kind where ya have someone go I wanna meet you and get to know see where things go. Then the next day when ya look at your work schedule and go well I can get together these days, or have these days off over the next three weeks, or if you tell me know I can put in for specific days off to meet for the longer distance ones. Then they're either busy or got something planned on those days. Or better yet the next day they tell ya they met someone else. Had to cut one loose earlier today that was doing that. But she'd get jealous if I even mentioned meeting or talked like I was gonna see someone else. Just one of those where I'm like yeah, ok, I'm happy by myself type of things. Just get tired of the bs and games after a while.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
U R a backup plan
Posted: 4/30/2010 1:19:06 PM
I never have had a problem with a woman using me for sex, well, long as they were good looking ;)
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Says they want to get to know you and go out, but.....
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:03:05 PM

You might want to reign in those possessive tendencies a bit. If you're this uncomfortable with a woman dating others before you've even met her, I'd hate to see what you might be like when you're in an established relationship with her


Neh, not really possessive, if it hadn't been for the unique circumstances I wouldn't of even brought it up here. If I'm with someone I usually don't have a problem with em going out with friends, even if they are other guys and what not.

I don't think I got friend zoned, talked to her today when I found out bout the she's going to see where things go with him. Was kind of a parting of ways rather than saying we can still be friends. She just said she hopes I find what I'm looking for, and I wished her good luck, and that was that. So I figure she could of just decided she wanted to get rid of me also, but doubt I got friend zoned.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Says they want to get to know you and go out, but.....
Posted: 4/25/2010 9:52:23 PM
Well, never mind that second one, she's decided she's gonna see where things go with the guy she just met the other day, and had only been talking to a couple days. This is of course after telling me she wasn't gonna jump into anything too fast with anyone, which is why she wanted to keep me around.

Now in response to someone else. I'm not worried about being single. If I wanted to be not single I've got the option to be in a relationship with 2 or 3 people. Only reason I'm not, is because I may be physically attracted to them for the moment, but I don't feel that deeper connection with them. And I don't think it's fair to them or myself to settle without having that connection. If I go into a long term relationship with anyone I do want it to be with someone I love. Because without that, there is too much likelyhood of getting bored of the person or the possibly of leaving them or cheating on them with the next person that might catch my interest.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Says they want to get to know you and go out, but.....
Posted: 4/25/2010 10:03:03 AM

OK, now I see the trend. You keep the calls and texts coming but never ask them out. You are waiting for them to ask you out and they are waiting for you to ask them out.


No, it depends on the person. If they were one that was talking but seemed like they were kinda half assed interested or the likes I'll back off and kinda just not initiate any conversation for a couple days. If I don't hear from em, oh well, no loss. Otherwise they usually start pursuing like that. Which was the case with that one. But, now I don't drag people on when it comes to meeting. I'm pretty clear that my work schedule can make it hard to get with people at times, due to not having most weekends off. I have no problem asking people I'm interested in out.



First recognition: people of all kinds are most LIKELY to say what they think they SHOULD say. In dating, what most people know they SHOULD say is, "I want to get to know you." Whether it's said by a guy who is just after a one-night-stand, or a gal who sees you as a free restaurant meal, or someone who actually MEANS it, you can't know until you try them.

Either that, or they were playing another common game of avoidance, using thoughtlessness and rudeness to drive you away, because they don't know how to say "no thank you" gracefully.


First one very true, now that last part, could also likely be possible too.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/25/2010 8:33:23 AM
Guys, read this and pay attention. This is very sound advice, and it's rare to see a woman put up things like that.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Says they want to get to know you and go out, but.....
Posted: 4/25/2010 8:28:31 AM
Not really clingy, I'd been letting her pursue me.

It was more of a Thursday she brought it up while we were txting. Then tried to play it off like she was playing around. So, friday morning after started texting me, and we were talking I just said the hell with it, and asked her what she was doing saturday, as that was my next day off. Thats when she said she had a date saturday night. Usually I do ask a bit more in advance though. But, I hadn't been talking to her more than a little over a week really. But, when she told me she had a date, I was like "ah, well have fun then.". SO shortly(not even 2 minutes) after that she decided to call me, more or less trying to convince me that she wants to get to know me before getting into anything serious, and that it was just a date. But it's one of those I know she hadn't been talking to the other person for more than a couple of days kinda things.

But yeah, like someone else pointed out... Yeah, honesty is a good thing, least in this situation if I don't hear back from her after her date I know why. And it won't be one of those things where we're talking and things are going good, then she just up and vanishes. BUT, wouldn't it have been better to just say, well I'm busy that night or already had plans? And then if things went well on the date you let the person know sorry I met someone, and I'm gonna see where things go with that. Which is what I usually do myself. Usually I'll take the one at a time approach, Get to know the person meet and greet, or go out on a date with em. If things click a bit or theres a spark of attraction there I'll give it a bit longer to see if there's a real connection, then if I'm not feeling it I'll talk to more people. But I'll at least let the other person know type of thing. More of a respecting the other persons time point of view, usually I get the same respect back.

No I'm not clueless, just one of those, is she trying to provoke jealousy or something? And that wasn't a whaa as in crying it was a whaa as in, questioning.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Says they want to get to know you and go out, but.....
Posted: 4/24/2010 11:47:38 PM
So, like the title says. Recently I've had two different women off here do the exact same thing. Outright tell me they want to get to know me and stuff and show a lot of interest. And then some time in conversation all of a sudden they go, I got a date on x day. I mean, I know dating is exactly that, just dating and usually isn't an exclusive thing until both parties decide they want to see where things go in a relationship. But one would think telling someone you want to try and go out with that you got a date with another person on another day would usually be not ideal?

For example, the first one was talking to me a lot, then just one day she while talking she just brings up that she's got a date to get ready for. I'm just kinda like Ummm Ok, hope ya have a good day. This one I can understand, as she lives about 100miles away, and I just plain haven't had the time off work to be able to go meet her. Granted since then I've had to hear about how she's done with guys because they keep using her or hurting her. Though she still flirts and hits on me pretty steady.

Now the second one, was one that messaged me on here. Kinda texted off and on, more of a couldn't tell if she was interest so some days I just don't text and if I don't hear from her oh well. Then she decided to start calling me, half the time I'd miss the call just from work or not being able to get to the phone so I'd usually call her back when I got the chance. So, like one day she just out of the blue asks me when I'm gonna meet her. Next day I said the hell with it, and asked her what she was doing today. Then she goes well I've got a date that day. Again I just kinda said have fun.

I Know a bit of honesty can go a long way, but I'm just kinda dumbfounded as far as what these women expect from me? I've had pretty good luck lately when it comes to meeting people so I'm not having problems. Just every once in a while some come a long like this that make me go Whaa?
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 153 (view)
 
What does Friends First really mean?
Posted: 4/7/2010 8:55:35 AM

To me, you don't have a relationship until you've also developed a deep connection with someone.


What she said right there is probably the biggest thing to it.


Friendships take a considerable time to develop... you don't "instantly" become a friend any more than one would "instantly" become a relationship.


Now, I can argue against that. It can and does happen. Rarely it seems, but it does happen. I can think of maybe 4 or 5 people that I've gone out with or dated, since I started dating, that the connection was just there from the beginning. Considering that's been over a span of about 16 years, well you can see bout how often that happens. Now a couple of em had been aquaintences (sp) from work or group of friends.

Now as a reply on topic to the thread, yeah I tend to agree it's usually a safety net to make the person feel better if there's no spark or things don't go anywhere or there is no attraction to the other party. BUT, some times it's just a desire to possibly take things slow to get to know the person. Word of warning with this though, if you actually say go to a movie or to dinner or something with the person, and the opportunity is given to make a move, do it, otherwise you're friend zoned. Because when that happens they may like you or think you're cute, but, they're gauging whether you're interested in them.

From personal experience I've had 1 or 2 people do that, say they wanted to be friends first. We went to a movie, went dutch on it, after the movie ended up hanging out, she put me in situations where I had ample opportunity to make a move on her. Since I had just been told the night before she just wanted to be friends first, I didn't do so. Got friend zoned. Would it of gone different had moves been made? Most likely.

But yeah it is possible to be friends first with someone, you just gotta make sure to create attraction off the bat, show confidence, if you're interested in em maybe give a kiss after the first or second date.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Penis Size and Virginity
Posted: 4/5/2010 10:57:39 PM

he knows what he's doing you'll probibly be ok,
however most guys of your age will just shove it in and jack hammer till they cum. -not that they don't care about your feelings etc. its just how they see it in the pornos and think thats how its done, plus most women in their 20s aren't very comfortable about sex or being explicit about how they want their cookies -and cream.

relax and take your time, have fun and take it slow, maybe share a bottle of wine to make the mood softer and more intimate.
make sure you use lots of lube -whether it be natural or something you find in the condom section of the store. i would think dryness is about the biggest mood killer and causer of pain. -btw -make sure you are using some kind of birth control -you don't want to wind up pregnant or catching something on your first try.


I tell ya what, that crap hurts like a mofo if the girl isn't wet enough, and fairly tight. Any good guy will listen to how the girl likes it and start from there. Sounds like you got one like that ;).

Do what it takes to get properly turned on before you do it, use birthcontrol or protection of some sort like he said.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 79 (view)
 
she left me for her ex and now she's back
Posted: 4/5/2010 1:08:33 AM
Hah, sounds very familiar. to me too. Had someone back in December that I'd started hanging out with. Was originally only suppose to be just hanging out before she had to move if nothing happened, and if things did happen just a fling, didn't want to get emotionally attached to her because of soon to come distance. Unfortunately for the both of us, we got along extremely well with each other, both like the same kind of movies and music, and food. We were both on the same page when it came to what we wanted in a relationship. She was pretty much open and honest with me about past relationships and sex partners too. She use to text, IM or call me all the time. Can't remember how many times on days off we'd end up cam to cam most of a day because she wanted to see me. Within 2.5 weeks after she moved she drove 400 miles to come stay with me for a week, because she couldn't wait till I came down there around valentines day. The morning before she was suppose to leave to go back south for her school, she woke up and started breaking down. Didn't want to tell me at first, because she was crying about her ex. That night was the only night that entire time she'd ever pulled away from me or hadn't been right up against me when we were sleeping. Two days after she leaves, I don't hear from her for a day or so, and then I find out she'd agreed to be back in a relationship with her ex, who ironically lives in the same town as me.

Difference in this situation is, they'd been broken up for like 3 or 4 months before we started seeing each other. I knew about it, but had kept my distance because I had known she was going to be moving away for schooling, and didn't want to get emotionally invested in someone and end up in a long distance thing with her. And here about 4 or 5 days before she drove here to stay with my exclusively for a week her ex decided that since she wouldn't go back to him at the time, that he was going to cut her off and not be friends or talk to her any more to force her to miss him. So he played on a fault of hers, being she didn't like to let people go. She'd been open about convo's she'd had with him, and other friends with me without even asking, so I choose to believe she was telling me the truth on it. One of those aggravation factor things I guess. Up until that point I had no doubts as to whether she'd wanted to be with me or not, she'd made it pretty clear she did. She'd even been telling a couple mutual friends she REALLY Really liked me or more, and she'd even been telling her mother about me, and wanted me to meet her parents.

So to the OP, dude it's not easy to let someone go, especially when real feelings are involved. Whether or not you stick around and try and get back with her is up to you. Just remember an old Saying, "hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me." Remember that she could likely do the same thing again, or that she may just be using you for moral support while she's on the rebound. It's really really hard to let go when they beg you not to leave because they don't want to lose you... Never understood why some women do that after ripping your heart out.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Penis Size and Virginity
Posted: 12/30/2009 8:04:54 PM
Honestly I don't think she's gonna take to anal with him even with Lube. I've yet to find a woman that is willing to allow me to do that with them. If he's not too thick though she might be ok with it. But again, that comes down to really being able to relax your muscles and just let go, and go along for the ride.

I get a laugh every time I see a guy goin I wish theirs were longer or thicker. I just kinda go, if only you knew.....
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Penis Size and Virginity
Posted: 12/24/2009 10:06:55 AM
@czymyles
Well, no 8.5" isn't huge, it's on the very large area though. Gotta figure the national average is around 5 inches. Most women I've known are usually pretty happy with about average. Especially if it's thick, think a doctor told a friend of mine once, he told her to hold her up index and middle finger together, and said if it's not at least this thick you're better off fingering yourself :P.

Now I know how it goes though, if you want a size comparison for me, take one of them 7oz gillette fusion gel cans, little bit longer than that, bit narrower on the shaft. So yeah, bout 8-8.5 myself depending on erection quality.

Now at the OP, Yes it's going to hurt, probably the first few times. Scientifically a womans vagina can handle a penis of any size, as long as she's sufficiently turned on and lubricated. Part of the reason it's going to hurt is nervousness and not knowing how to relax the muscles in that area. Just make sure he uses good amount of lube for a while till you get use to it, best advice I can give ya. And if you don't want to get prego, use a condom or be on the pill.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
performing oral on female for 1st time
Posted: 12/22/2009 9:12:48 AM
Depends on if she's clean, shaved, and her eating habits like others have said. Rule is if it smells bad down there, it's gonna taste bad. But it can be anywhere from slightly salty to not much of a taste, to somewhat sweet. And thats depending on the woman when she gets wet, now if you manage to get her off, thats different, hasn't tasted bad any time I've done it though.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Guys - Last longer/shorter when masturbating vs. sex?
Posted: 12/21/2009 2:45:23 PM
I can't say much about the being 25 and a virgin. Didn't have actual intercourse the first time till I was around 30. But then again, getting laid wasn't the top priority in my life. Then again I'm also pretty selective about who I'll do that with. Have to watch out, the people I've done that with have got addicted .

Actually the best thing you can teach yourself with masturbation is how to recognize when you're about to get off. Then once you do that you can use that to know when to slow down and draw things out, or pull out if you want to. The other thing you can do is use it to get yourself to the point where you have close to no down time. Or use it to work that muscle, forgot what it's called, that contracts around the base of the penis for control. That last one if you do it right, will also help to improve erection quality.

Me personally if I'm taking care of myself I can go for anywhere from 10 to 20 mins, or more if I really want to. Where as with a woman it depends on a lot of factors, like how good the oral was, or how tight it is down there.. I know from my experience the woman will usually get off 2 or 3 times before I get off the first time during penetration. Least thats been the case with the 3 I've been with so far. Granted I've got the advantage of I can blow a load and keep goin.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Bigger guys or smaller guys?
Posted: 12/21/2009 2:00:01 PM
Now what if the guy has a big belly, And can still see his erection????

Lol at Captain, no kidding, I'm in a 13 1/2 - 14 on the shoes myself. Granted my luck hasn't been all that bad lately. Have actually had people messaging me out of the blue instead of the other way around.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
scents
Posted: 12/18/2009 12:17:38 AM
I agree with Dunkk on the Hugo Boss - BOSS, tried that one while shopping for cologne just today. Ended up buying Kenneth Cole - Reaction though, liked the smell of that one a lot myself. Hehe some of the girls there were trying to get me to buy Aramis, have heard a lot of good about that.

Now to the person talking about Axe body spray. My guess would be if it was kind of citrus smelling it was probably Axe Fever, I wear that one daily, as it's not too strong but I get pretty good reaction from it. Only other good one I can think of is Dark temptation.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Thee ole double standard...
Posted: 12/14/2009 6:39:48 PM

How do you think I got/stayed skinny? Was I eating burger king for breakfast lunch & dinner? No. Plus I've been physically active my whole life. It isn't any more complicated than you want to make it.

Here's an example taken from a site for illustration purposes:

Your Weight in Pounds: 160
Minutes Spent Exercising: 240 (4 hour hike)

Calories Burned: 1,728

One good hike can essentially wipe out an entire days worth of calories and if you eat less than 1,728 calories per day guess what will begin to happen? You will start to lose weight. And since it's very possible to eat less calories than you burn and not be hungry (providing you eat filling yet not ultra calories dense food) then you can see how this is entirely possible and people are doing it every day. The site is called "sparkpeople" for those interested.


Actually, he's almost underweight for his height, or cutting it real close. I know personally I could never get down that low. I have a much broader frame, and use to do a lot of power lifting, still have good enough muscle tone that some of it shows through even as bad off as I am. Interesting site, ya shoulda put what your username there is so you'd get points from us :P.

Fast food is a major killer when it comes to weight gain. And sadly, with the way people work, and spend so much time away from home, too many are relying solely on it for food. Best thing anyone can do for themselves is not eat fast food, if you do, do it rarely, and drop sugary soda's completely. They add huge amounts of calories that you don't think about to your diet. I know these things for a fact, from personal experience.

Now as far as the hiking goes, yeah you can do that once on the weekend. But personally, I enjoy going out and walking a couple miles a day. Depending on the day I do anywhere from 2-4 miles, depends on whats on my mind or if I'm stressed I'll walk more, and thats not including the fact I'm on my feet walking and lifting heavy stuff all the time at work. Not to mention, my walks only take about 30-40 mins, which is about all the free time I have to devote to doing that per day, even on "weekends".

I can speak for the fact that since July, which I think is about when I started really applying myself to my plans, I've lost about 46lbs. I lost 29lbs between July and late september/early october, then another 17lbs between then and about 2 weeks ago(last doctors visit). And thus far its been literally by cutting out fast food, portion size to some extent, eating more often, and forsaking sugar soda's for tea or sports drink or diet soda, and keeping plenty of water around. Oh don't get me wrong, I'll pick up a 12 packs of regular soda every once in a while, and eat some fast food a few times every once in a while to shake things up and keep my body from leveling off. And I still got about 70lbs that I want to lose. First goal is getting to 300 (321 current), after that next goal is 250. After that just depends on what I look like then.

Now as far as the gaining weight after getting into the relation thing goes. There are a lot of things that could factor in there. Being unhappy in the relationship, and feeling like you can't get out can cause depression, and real depression can cause all kinds of havoc physically. Again I speak from personal experience on the depression thing. Spent 5 or 6 years dealing with my own clinical depression after having had spinal meningitis when I was 19. Which is what caused a lot of my weight gain. And, it would be my most likely answer to why this guys wife put on the weight, depression that is.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
what are some good guidelines for age when looking for women to meet, if there is any?
Posted: 12/14/2009 1:21:38 AM
Honestly I'm 32 myself, so not too far past you. My experience is that most women between 18-24 haven't figured out really what they want in life, or in a real mate. You may be able to hook up with one in that age range for a short term dating thing. But don't put too much weight into long term with one, though depending on the maturity level it can happen. It just depends on how much drama you want to have to put up with along the way. And also most women in that age range once they friend zone you, you're stuck there. If they have any kind of attraction they won't friend zone you, but keep you around as a make out friend until you decide to date them.

Hard and fast advice is stick within about 5 years either way of your age. I personally prefer my match to be mid to late twenties (24-29) or if they fit my long term goals early thirties (34 at the oldest). One of those, if you're long term goals involve making a family and having kids, good luck finding that with most women in their 30s. Usually by then, they've already had theirs and don't want any more, or have had the operations to not have any more. Though, that does have it's perks. Granted I am open to people younger than 24, just depends on the person and how they act.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should I bother waiting for a second date?
Posted: 12/12/2009 4:34:21 PM
yeah, thats pretty much the plan.

and at the guy who said I don't know how to read her. Her body language for the most part was positive, playing with her hair, leaning towards and stuff like that. Was just the things from the texting, which is a major put off for me with people, not the first person I've had problems with texting. And the last time, the person was interested, enough to do things other than talk.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Should I bother waiting for a second date?
Posted: 12/12/2009 10:12:16 AM
@Wiyan, neh didn't turn mine off, just usually put it on vibrate or silent. But I think thats more of a generation difference thing. Where you and I have the courtesy to do that, these younger people don't. One of the reasons why I rarely meet people below 25.

@all Sorry it was like 3am when I posted the original, so it may not contain all the valuable details or order.

Well, not really falling for her, wouldn't mind seeing the person again. The particular situation was kinda crap, one of the reasons I don't like the whole cell phone and texting thing. I mean, I got like 4 or 5 texts and 1 call from people while I was out, but more or less ignored them. I think people have forgotten a great deal of etiquette since it became popular. I was apprehensive about going to meet her in the first place, obviously due to previous behavior. Actually from what I saw she told her sister to either go to her mom to deal with the problem, or calm down till she got home about 3 or 4 times. In fact I offered to take her home fairly early on if she wanted to go and deal with it and she said no. Had there not been a child involved I don't think things would of gone that way. And now that I looked again, it wasn't aww thank you, it was "well thank you" to the compliment. She's the one that brought up seeing each other again first, did that over the phone.

I know how to play that game, I can usually tell whether someones interested or not. Just every once in a great while, I get thrown a curve ball of sorts. Just one of those I get the impression I'm going to have deleted her number, then a couple weeks down the line I'm gonna get a text or call from her asking why I hadn't been talking to her. At which point I'm going to have to explain it to her. I'd go into more detail, but I don't think it's right to tell others personal business. Anyway, I already deleted her from my contacts last night, figure if she gets back with me, she can be back on my contacts list. If not, oh well

Even though I preach meeting or going out in public the first time you meet someone, I actually prefer situations where you can sit together and just talk or have fun. Tend to be a lot more relaxed and open then. Unfortunately I haven't found all that many cozy coffee houses around the area yet. Something where you can sit down on a couch, use one of the easiest attraction indicators in the book, and then talk and see if things click. That being the sit down and relax, put your main arm beside you, if they're interested in you they'll sit right by you and monopolize the arm, if not they'll say something about it or sit on the other end of the couch. I would of done that with her, but unfortunately she lives with her family, so that wasn't really an option. Same reason I don't like going to movie theaters on first meet, two hours of having to sit quietly and not talk. Where as if you go to either persons place, and watch a movie, you can at least talk.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Should I bother waiting for a second date?
Posted: 12/12/2009 1:17:16 AM
Well let's see here. Tonight I met a person off of here that I'd been talking to off and on since August I think. The off and on part being, was talking here, then texting a lot on the phone for a few weeks. Even then, almost every time I brought up meeting she'd vanish for a few days, more or less couldn't get ahold of her on my days off, or if I told her when they were, before them to try and set something up. Other things happened in my personal life, and I stopped talking to her much, eventually gave up and stopped talking to her at all, deleted number from phone etc..

Just about a week or two ago, I randomly receive a text from the same young lady and she starts talking to me again. She's the second one that's done that. Sadly when she first messaged me I thought it was someone else I'd recently given my number to, so I felt bad about that when I figured it out. I didn't have much problem with it though, as she was one of the few people I'd wanted to meet. The difference is this time she didn't pull the vanishing act when meeting was brought up, in fact I think she brought it up. Though on my bad, I didn't try and plan too much in advance, as I was worried she might pull the vanishing thing again at the last minute. I did admit that to her though and apologized for the short notice and lack of planning. She asked me why I stopped talking to her before, and again I chose to be honest and told her it was because I wasn't getting any response out of her after a while.

So we met up tonight, went out and got some food at a nice sit down restaurant, not too fancy, but nice. Was considering going to catch a late movie, or going to a bar or some place to play pool, or do something fun. Well, on the way to the date after picking her up, and part of the way through her sister starts texting her about breaking up with her ex(her sisters). I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and say it's likely true that we needed to cut things short so she could go help her sister get herself under control emotionally. After hearing the sister screaming and yelling while I was talking to her on the phone on the way to pick her up it's possible. She did say she really enjoyed what we did, and told me to call her later or tomorrow. I personally couldn't tell whether she was actually interested or not due to the situation. It didn't necessarily help that I was also tired for some strange reason. Last thing I sent her tonight was a text message saying she was a very attractive young woman, and that I wouldn't mind taking her out again. Her reply was aww thank you. And then after that since I couldn't tell if she was interested in anything further I texted her saying if she was interested in going out again some time, to call or text me and I could actually plan something fun and put a bit more time into it this time.

Do you all think the thing with the sister ws manufactured as a way to cut things short?

So the question is, do I give her the benefit of doubt and call/txt her tomorrow, or wait for her get ahold of me, or just not worry about hearing from her again? I'm asking here because I figure women might give me a bit more insight on how women think.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Thee ole double standard...
Posted: 12/3/2009 1:56:41 PM
to the OP

Well obviously since you or your friend appear to be fairly shallow. Or he married for a trophy wife rather than a loving relationship.

FYI

I've seen hot skinny women with Chubby or fat regular guys. It's all about showing confidence and how you carry and present yourself.

I've seen fairly good looking guys with Chubby and fat women. (Mexican and black men tend to like the chubby women from what I've observed). I say that based on the what people are brought up to view as sexually appealing. Granted I likes a little meat on the bones myself, especially the booty.

Your friend doesn't need to suck it up, he needs to grow up.

But you see, I have my views on whats appealing because I stopped watching TV outside of some movies and the news. And I stopped paying much attention to fashion magazines and allowed myself to develop my own tastes rather than going by what mass media said was suppose to be appealing.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Do girls use guys for sex?
Posted: 11/29/2009 9:53:06 AM
My thoughts are it sounds like a player got played :P.

There may have been something there at the beginning, but it probably quickly vanished shortly after moving in with you and putting up with your bs first hand. Sounds like you two were heels over heads in lust for a bit and mistook it for love. Either that or like someone else said it was young puppy love, which happens with younger women a lot. Which is why you see some girls in their early 20's that have had several ex's.

Or it could of been you guys were doin it so often that she eventually wasn't getting anything new, and just wasn't getting off as good as she had before so she got bored and cut her losses. Or may have wanted more, but after living with you, realized that you couldn't give her the emotional side she wanted or just didn't feel that love towards you.

But yes, Women do use men for sex. What you don't realize is most women are just as sexual or more so than a guy, they're just more selective about who they give it to. But once they got a guy, and they know that tool is theirs to play with whenever they want it, they want it all the time. Especially if it gets them off good. Now, the 5 times a day thing is a bit too often. I'd rather do maybe twice a day, and get em off multiple times in those 1 or 2 sessions. It's not about quantity it's about quality man.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Dah Boat, she's run aground Cap'n. Profile Review
Posted: 11/13/2009 11:18:22 PM
Actually the things in the second paragraph are a whole lot of issues. I've actually got 76 out of 99 credit hours towards a computer system and internetworking technology degree, from Baker College of Flint Michigan. Can't finish though till I get my student loans back in order, which is on track but will take another.....8 months. Hard to explain that in a profile on a dating site though.

Oh actually the one with the baseball hat was literally, I was at home on lunch from work, someone texted me and asked if I had a more recent pic, and I was like yeah sure. Ironically I've had someone recognize me at work from here.

Ok, so I'll definitely work on better pics... Thankfully due to weight loss I can wear a lot more of the dress shirts, and other nice clothes I've been wanting to wear, so should be able to get some good ones. Need to find someone to take em though*hates posing for pics while other people are taking them*
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dah Boat, she's run aground Cap'n. Profile Review
Posted: 11/13/2009 9:36:23 PM
Went through and made a few changes, hard to change some of the sentences though. Granted, thats why I probably had difficulty with my higher english classes in school.

If anyone else wants to throw in some input that'd be nice too.
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Not 1 email...
Posted: 11/13/2009 8:47:39 PM
Like a few others have said, you need some better photo's. The colors are off and it detracts from them due to it being a reflection pic. One of the problems I've got on my profile, so I know how it goes.

You need more interests, you're 33 and I have a hard time believing those are the only 4 interests you have. I'm 32 and have listed nowhere near the actual number of interests I do have. Perhaps elaborate on specific shows you like on those two tv channels, or subjects.

And when you talk about having a wide taste in music, you might do better to specify a few genre's that are your favorites, or even list a few specific bands/groups/artists. For example I like hard rock and Metal, some of my favorites are Disturbed and System of a Down, and Tool.

Though I will admit, you are good looking and if I still lived in Michigan I'd message ya or ask ya out :).
 mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Dah Boat, she's run aground Cap'n.
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:51:01 AM
Oh, yeah I should probably edit that one. Yeah, me and that "friend" had a pretty bad falling out and are no longer on talking terms.
 
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