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 Author Thread: More blocking options
 Pink_Roses_1
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
More blocking options
Posted: 12/11/2013 5:39:30 PM
Thanks Cowboy I will try that.

FM: Yes if he were to contact me he would go to jail. He hasn't contacted me as of yet, but he does view my profile daily.
 Pink_Roses_1
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why do some women respond so tepidly yet consistently?
Posted: 12/11/2013 5:09:02 PM
I have to agree with the majority of others are says. You your self are not showing much interest with the questions you ask. Texting does her old pretty fast so just call her!
 Pink_Roses_1
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Being late for a date
Posted: 12/11/2013 4:35:08 PM
I hate to be late, but in the event I am going to be late I ALWASY notify the person in advance. To me it is rude not to.
 Pink_Roses_1
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 643 (view)
 
Would you date someone who is on welfare?
Posted: 12/11/2013 4:28:31 PM
To answer the initial question. No I would not. I don't care what their situation is, I am just not in the market to support someone else.
 Pink_Roses_1
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
driving and dating can It really be hard?
Posted: 12/11/2013 4:11:48 PM
I am not going to speak for anyone else, just off my own personal experiences. I have dated two guys who didn't drive and will never do it again. They didn't want a relationship, but a personal taxi driver.
 Pink_Roses_1
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
More blocking options
Posted: 12/11/2013 3:18:24 PM
There should be an option to able to block a person just by typing in the users name. WITHOUT sending them a message or viewing there profile.
Prime example: A very abusive ex in which you have obtained a long term restraining order against and have no desire to message or view their profile much less see their face when you log on.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
what does it mean when an ex panics when he sees you?
Posted: 12/10/2013 8:19:51 AM

Some people conveniently leave those death threats out of the story when they come in here looking for validation.

Having been on the end of those threats I FULLY agree!!!! When I see my abuser I DO panic. I don't hide behind bushes or run down the street like an idiot. I do however go right to the nearest, employee to get security all while dialing 911!

So what is being left OUT of this story?
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I was born a woman?
Posted: 12/6/2013 8:47:00 PM
Maybe she walked into work one day and all of a sudden Kent turned into Sarah. (actually happened to a friend of mine)
Maybe she has strong manly features. Or even developed facial hair after giving birth to a boy. (My older sister.)
Maybe she is often rejected after showing her picture.
As for being accused of being shallow one can't be shallow for what their personal preference is.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
That line again!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2013 8:23:54 PM
Oh I never have asked what a person is doing online. No point in asking, it is self explanatory. Although a couple of years ago I did meet a guy on here who would ask me each time I logged on what I was doing online. In all reality even though it a cheesy pick up line, I find it rather creepy.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
That line again!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2013 3:35:14 PM
The greater majority of the guys I have talked to over the years of being on and off here have said in some variation of the same line. That they log on just to stare at my photo! Do they really think that this is believable? I mean after all this is a dating site! Chances are they are not online just to sit and stair are a persons photo.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Burger King delivery service?
Posted: 1/18/2012 10:21:06 AM
When I lived in Seattle I ordered from KFC a time or two.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
my girl cant give me head because she got TMJ what to do ???
Posted: 1/18/2012 4:23:40 AM

Take her to a chiropractor. I have a friend that specializes in treating tmj. Email me for his site.


Ummm I see a DENTIST for my TMJ.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
''just friends''
Posted: 1/18/2012 3:31:53 AM
When I tell a guy I just want to be friends. I mean just that. My mind is never going to change.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:27:05 PM
I have a brother who LOVES kids and always dreamed on being a father. He married at 31 or 32 to a woman who was around 24. She was very clear from the beginning that she never wanted children. Now 17 years later of marriage he is still very happily married with no children and doesn’t regret his decision on not having children. What it boils down to is what makes you truly happy and what you are willing to sacrifice.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
New Relationship Category
Posted: 12/29/2011 12:46:35 PM
What makes you think it will be picked so much. I have met a number of guys on here who stated in their profile that they are here for LTR, dating and what not. Truth is all they were looking for was their next one night stand and were not truthful with their real intentions until AFTER meeting face to face. So, if people lie on their profile and NOT putting intimate encounter when they actually should have, then FWB wouldn’t be truthfully chosen either.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The Dog
Posted: 12/28/2011 7:52:25 PM
That would be the last time I see him.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Just A Sperm Donor?
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:18:04 PM
I agree with everyone and that her bag is pretty heavy. I know fathers who feel blessed and lucky that they can see their kids once a year due financial reasons and distance. I would never put any negative thoughts on parent who couldn’t see their kids for those reasons. Now if they were local and only saw then a few times a year that is different story.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
E-mail versus IM
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:12:40 PM

I think guys that want to do the IM think are shouting "I'm scared to talk to you on the phone".



Seems to me that it is mostly faceless profiles with nothing better to do with their time.



OP - I suspect that for 90% of the men who want IM, they only want to flash you with a sausage pic, or beg you for some dirty talk. The other 10% are NOOBS who think IM is the next step to a date.


So very true!

I do not have my IM on anymore. Majority of the time it was someone who has either e-mailed me and I chose not to respond or someone who wanted to do weeks of e-mails and just wanted to prolong the e-mails and never bring any form of conversation off of POF. Then of course there is the perverts. To be honest, if the guy don’t want to right meet or at least talk on the phone sometime during that first week, then I just move on. With the exception of the men who I have started conversing who have their kids every other weekend or every other week and it their week or weekend that week. Them I will make the exception for.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Suggestions please.
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:43:32 PM
If that happened to me I would just remove that profile and create a new one.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Suggestions please.
Posted: 12/26/2011 4:19:28 PM
I am thinking about changing my profile a bit because it has pretty much been the same since I have been on and off here. Plus I have a good sized weight lose since I have been on my new diet and am going to be getting some updated pics up. So suggestions on what to put would give me an idea on where to start. TIA
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
To be able to hide a profile you have already viewed
Posted: 12/26/2011 3:45:07 PM
To be able to hide a profile you have already viewed and have no interest in contacting that person. This would make it much easier for users to find profiles they haven’t yet viewed without having to go through a lot of pages.

To fix the e-mail setting for 50 characters or more so people can’t hit the space bar or the letter or symbol a number of time to be able to contact a person.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
What should a guy do???
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:53:21 AM

or copy down her license plate so I can write her a note to put on her windshield upon returning.


That is just creepy and scary!
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
The Logo Game not so Easy
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:00:11 AM
I got my daughter the Logo game for Christmas. That game would be so much easier to play if this house hold hasn’t been watching everything off of DVR for the greater part of 7 years! lol
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What should I do at this point?
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:19:11 PM

I feel like I'll never get one like that again.


You are 24 you will! Heck I am 37 and I haev never felt that way about man. Always felt I can do better than someone who didn't want me.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
People looking well different to profile photos
Posted: 12/25/2011 6:05:40 PM
Some of them could have the delusion that “If they just took the time to get to know me” Well that is true for anyone in this world, but they are missing the key factor. People like what they like and that is the bottom line. To call someone shallow for not finding someone attractive is what I think is shallow. My thoughts on it is instead of complaining about the people who do not find you good looking, then go find someone who does. I am not as skinny as I used to be and I have been busting my butt to change it. I have NEVER once got mad or upset because someone wasn’t attracted to me because I have put on a few pounds. I rather just go on and find someone who takes me as I am.

OP. I too have met a few who look nothing like their photo; lie about their age or status. In my opinion if they are going to mislead someone into meeting them, then what else is misleading or untrue?
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Gotta be due the holidays
Posted: 12/25/2011 12:46:43 PM

What makes you think they WEREN'T all the same guy #1??


One will never know for sure. They very well could have been. I have seen a few people in my area with more than one profile, pics and all.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Social Services..
Posted: 12/25/2011 11:17:51 AM

Someone is definitely falling short, but it is not you.
Mainstreaming is not necessarily the best solution for all children.


I agree. Also do not even allow for them to try a guilt trip you into thinking it is wrong to ever feel overwhelmed from time to time. That is normal even if is one not a parent to special needs child.

Also, check with the school board to see if he is the school that is the right fit for him. I know my school districts busses special needs kids all over town to go to a school that is the right fit for their needs. Your might as well.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Gotta be due the holidays
Posted: 12/25/2011 11:07:20 AM

OP, please define "nut job."


Nut job number 1 – After only a few e-mails only he told me I had to delete my account because I was now his woman.

Nut job number 2 – Asked me if I found him attractive. I told by the pics on his profile, yes, but I have not yet met you in person. Then asked me if I was talking to any other guys on this site. When I told him yeah just talking at this point. He got mad and upset because in his mind I said that he was the only one I had romantic feelings for. Um yeah ok

Nut job Number 3 - This one I did do a short meet and great thing with. Told me that a woman like me shouldn’t be picky and that I should just be happy with what I can get. That all I can get is to be someone’s sex buddy and once I understand that I will be much better off.

Nut job number 4 – Said he was just released from prison for being falsely convicted murder.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
The bathroom mirror pic; why so bad?
Posted: 12/25/2011 10:05:31 AM

5. Seriously, don't you have one friend who can take a picture of you?


My thoughts exactly!
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Gotta be due the holidays
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:36:47 AM
Not really sure what category to put this in, so sorry if it is the wrong one.
I am sure everyone has come across a nut job or two on here everyone in a while, but I have come across four this week alone! I just blocked them and chalked it up to it being due the holidays as the reason to why they seem to be coming out of the woodworks. Anyone else notice an increase lately or is it just my bad luck….lol?
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 153 (view)
 
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:45:46 AM
There has only been two times in my life that I expected a man to HELP provide for my daughter. The first one being her father, which he didn’t do until he faced with no other choice but jail. The second was long term relationship in which we lived together and he did it freely on his own. He felt it was his obligation to step up.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is it that common?
Posted: 12/25/2011 1:01:48 AM
LOL. I have never had that. I do have to say that the past few weeks sure have brought out the nut jobs on here.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Girlfriend going speeddating to support friend. Should I worry?
Posted: 11/16/2011 9:13:29 PM
Chances are that if she was upfront about it and has asked you to go with her, then you could be over reacting. A few years ago I went to a few singles events with a friend of mine who was single for support. She had come out of a horrible marriage and my boyfriend at the time knew I was trying to be a friend for her. He didn’t care. He knew I was coming back home to him.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What to say and how to say it?
Posted: 8/28/2011 4:24:55 AM
So your dating someone. You take the time to get to know them and then things become sexual. You are not satisfied. The reason being they were HIGHLY selfish on their part. Yes you did some teasing and other different types of foreplay. You were requested to stop because what you were doing was exciting them too much and they needed to calm down in order to perform. The calming down time was nothing but snuggling and talking. So thing start to pick up again. You say you need something to get revved up again and all you get is the spit on the hand trick. Then to top it off they were done in less time it takes to put on the condom!. I kid you not it really was that short. What do you say? I have been trying to think in my head something that isn’t mean and would be something that wont hurt his feeling or make him feel inadequate. Yes I do know that no matter what is said it will anyway. I am very blunt and to the point. I tend to not sugar coat anything. So I need some help on the best way to put it. I do like him for who he is, have TONS in common, get along great and he is a great guy. Then again when it comes to being sexual, those things will not be enough in the long run. I had tried that in the past with a few other relationships only to end it turning out for me to not like a sex at all. I am not willing to do it again for anyone! So what would be a tactful way to approach this issue? Yes I do know that no matter what I say it will hurt his feeling and make him feel inadequate, but something needs to be said and an improvement needs to be done.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Help me!
Posted: 8/27/2011 6:32:31 PM
It is good that you kicked him to curb because he wouldn’t have done nothing for you to make you feel better about yourself. All he would done over time is make you feel as if you are worthless and get you thinking the HE is the one doing you a favor. After all that is pretty much what he said to you if you read between the lines. He truly wasn’t ok with your weight. He made reference how guys do not want to be seen with overweight women. He wasn’t taking about other guys he was in truth talking about how HE truly feels. The whole saying what he is thinking bit is only a cover up to insult you. This guy is nothing but bad news and hurting other people only makes him feel better about himself. Also I can’t help but think that the things he said to you are red flag for a big time mental and emotional abuser!
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
First Date Men buying my meal or drinks
Posted: 8/26/2011 8:59:27 AM
Well seeing how all my ex’s didn’t pay for thing, I like it when the guy pays. I don’t mind the 50/50 thing on bit and am willing to pay for my date if he willing to pay as well. I don’t think it should always be one or the other. I am actually kind of dating a guy right now who insists on paying for everything. His reasoning is that he was raised to be a complete gentlemen. Which he is.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Do you ever see POF members in public?
Posted: 8/26/2011 8:05:56 AM
I saw one, he actually recognized me. I didn’t even really notice him. I was at the store buying medicine. I had cold and was miserable. I looked it too. A few days later, I log on to POF to check my e-mail. He had sent me a message. It said. “Hope you are feeling better soon and that you look good in your jammies…LOL” Yes I was wearing my pj’s. No, they were nothing sexy or anything like that. Long pajama pants and a t-shirt.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Ever Dated Someone Who Wasn't Easy to Read?
Posted: 8/18/2011 1:35:47 AM
Not really interested and is trying to let you down easy. I would just put the ball for a second date option in her court and move onto the next girl on your list. After all if a person actually wants to spend time with you, they will make it happen on way or another.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Prefer Not To Answer
Posted: 8/18/2011 1:15:21 AM
Big Fun Wave (message #10)
I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but I worked in Geriatrics for 13 years before moving on to bigger and better things. More often than not, people are left with strangers to take of them and forgotten are about, until reading of the will.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Taking care of a parent
Posted: 8/3/2011 4:25:20 PM

You haven't dated at all since you moved in with your mother 11 years ago? That's a long time...


Oh no I have. I had two long term relationships in the past 11 years. It just wasn’t an issue before, or it was for the guys I dated briefly they never said anything. Plus it didn’t matter if it did or didn’t. We just didn’t click for other reasons.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Weight. When am I being too shallow?
Posted: 8/3/2011 4:15:16 PM

I've dropped 50 pounds since last September, I had gotten lazy and depressed and Ben and Jerry were my therapists.


I can relate to that. Two years ago, the last relationship I was in ended with him being taken away in handcuffs. Turns out the so called prince charming wasn’t one after all. I gained 80 pounds from the depression I was forced into from his abuse.

I got the help that EVERY victim of domestic violence should get. Got out of the depression I was in and doing something about the weight, I know I need to lose. I have lost about 20 of those pounds so far. As I stated before I don’t think what a person is attracted to is shallow. I view myself as few extra pounds overweight for the simple fact my clothing size fits into that category. Others might not see it as that is how they feel and I am not going to argue that.

I don’t have an issue with someone being overweight do to a health issue and suffering from depression is a health issue. True there are many others, but that is long list of things that don’t need to be stated. What I have problem with just flat out laziness and eating too much junk food. A proper diet can only go so far without exercise.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Taking care of a parent
Posted: 8/3/2011 3:57:07 PM
And as in all dating.... success comes with being out there,
being as attractive as you can(sorry. it is a shallow world),
and being able to actually spend with a guy who sticks.


First off, thank you. And to everyone else as well.

To be honest, yes it is shallow world to some degree. I don’t see this issue as shallow. Personal preference is personal preference. It wasn’t until this past month or so that I have decided to get back out there. True, hr health has changed since I first started my last relationship and I know that this world be harder than it was in the past. Without this having been a real issue in the past and it now has I just wanted a guys point of view. For the simple fact I am a woman. I am getting exactly what I asked for. Both and positive and negative if you want to word it that way. Personally, I don’t see anything negative in the responses. The opinion of others is just that their own personal thought and feelings.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Taking care of a parent
Posted: 8/3/2011 3:46:44 PM
A great deal of why I have been her so long is my brother who is her power of attorney, was in great denial. I have no legal power over my mother. He is also legally responsible for her. She can’t legally live on her own and hasn’t been able to for long time. It wasn’t until recently he realized that I DO know what I am talking about. With working in the medical field since I was 19, I have seen siblings go into HUGE legal battles over their parent’s health and what is better for their parents. One fully gets it and another is complete denial. I wasn’t about to make it a legal issue with him. He is my brother and never saw a reason to take it that far. However, I do wish he had gotten it a lot sooner. True there is chance that he played the denial card until his kids were grown. At times I had my suspicions. Mainly 6 years ago when he bought this three story house he now has up on the market.

I have full knowledge that it isn’t something that everyone can do either. I know tons of health care workers who wouldn’t do it. Caring for patient is one thing, but when it is your own parent, it is something else. There are a total of six of kids and two have done things to help our mom out.

During this time I have been here I have two long term relationship. The last one being nearly 4 years. That one ended badly. He said all the right things, did all the right things blah blah blah. With all of his false engorgement and support he had everyone fooled. The one before that I actually reconnected with on facebook…LOL. He is married now to a wonderful woman and has child. He told me that he see’s me as the one that got away and that he was wanting to be a full part of my life. Buy a house for my daughter, mom and I to move into. All I had to do was ask. Like I stated before I didn’t think it was my place to ask, expect or demand it.
 Lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Weight. When am I being too shallow?
Posted: 8/3/2011 10:46:28 AM
People like what they like and that is just that. I don’t think anyone should change their appearance to make some else happy. That is just flat out control of someone else. If you are not happy with the way you look then change it for yourself. If you are happy with the way you look then don’t whine or play the pity party because someone didn’t find you attractive. A beautiful person on the outside can be downright ugly on the inside. Same goes for someone who don’t have much as far as looks goes can the very beautiful person on the inside. It is all in the way you truthfully present yourself. Good looks can only take someone so far and beauty IS in the eye of beholder. After all what I find attractive might not be to someone else. Obviously, for some it is issue of or people would not say someone is being shallow. It is NOT shallow for being attracted to what you are attracted to. So I say to those who need to make a big deal of someone not finding you attractive because you are overweight. Then do something about it. Put down the Twinkie and eat an apple instead.

I know I am overweight, but you won’t ever find me seeking attention for a pity party because some guy didn’t like my big but….LOL Am I doing something about it? Yes, but I am doing it for myself and no one else!
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Intimacy is worth the wait
Posted: 8/3/2011 9:43:35 AM
And I agree, there is no real set time frame. When the time is right it is right. I just don't think hooping into bed after only seeing someone three times is the right time. Some people do and that is fine. I am the monogamous type and seriously doubt that after only seeing someone three times that is what people are wanting.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/3/2011 8:51:26 AM
I know that some states have a law stating that if a person knowing as unprotected sex with someone who is infected by deadly illness and the person is to contact that illness, it is considered murder. In other states, it is illegal to not tell a potential partner. Heck even certain health care professions workers ask the question “Do have any infectious illnesses”.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Intimacy is worth the wait
Posted: 8/3/2011 8:43:20 AM
I kid you not after meeting a guy after ten minutes he said to me. “This is our first meeting, after the third it is on like donkey kong! So you better have on something sexy for me to rip off.” After telling him it takes more time for me to have the type of connection, he told me this “Well I guess your going to just be fingering it then cuz no man is going to want a woman who don’t put out after the third time hanging out.”
I was stunned and didn’t know what to say to be honest, but I did get the hell out there. No one should be spoken to that way.

This was years ago, so to have heard something like shortly after would have been refreshing. Some people are just that way. I am one them.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
The rudest date You have ever had...
Posted: 8/3/2011 8:28:32 AM
For me I had been chatting with a guy n here who CLAIMED he was divorced. I asked how long and he told me five years. So after talking on the phone and agreeing to meet. He shows up with his WIFE and then proceeds to tell me that he has been married all along and that he was really on here to find woman to find a woman who is willing to join them in the bedroom. There was no indication of any of this while we chatted! Needless to say I said it wasn’t for me and left.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Taking care of a parent
Posted: 8/3/2011 7:56:27 AM
No bashing here just wanting guys point of view. I never stated it was every man in the world it is just lately it has been one or the other. I respect that it isn’t something tthat everyone would want a part of. I have relationships to where it didn’t matter.

I have no sweet ride. I do work and pay my own bills, pay for mom’s meds and for her other things that she can’t afford. She lives on a fixed income and wouldn’t be able to live here financially if it was for me pitching in.

She will be moving in with him while he fixes up the house. He plans to gut hers, fix it up and to sell it before she has to go to a home. She won’t be going to a home until she needs round the clock care. So the house they have now is too much for them. After working in about half of the skilled nursing and assisted nursing homes when I was a C.N.A. I have seen great places go bad with a change management. Same with bad places turning into a good place with a change of management.

The reason as to why she isn’t living with him now, is because he is in the process of selling his house. All of his kids are grown and are out the house. They want to have a single level house instead the three story they have now.

TALL-IQ2 – Some of my friends do tell me that I can be too open and honest at times. I do not expect anyone to assist me with my Mom and wouldn’t ever ask. I do want it to be respected, but I would never ask, demand or expect for them provide any type of care for her. Yet, if I was with someone and they asked me if one of their parents to be taken care in the same matter, I wouldn’t think twice if their situation allowed it. I have full knowledge that it isn’t something everyone can do.

I am looking forward for it to just being my daughter and I. As for me to live with someone, that is something that don’t happen right off the bat. To me that is big red flag, as it should be for any under any circumstance. When I mentioned that before it was to the guys who pretty much immediately start pushing for a relationship and talking about moving in together in my mother’s house at the same time. If met someone and it is to that point when it comes time for my daughter to get own place then it can be disused then. Then we might all of get a place for the three of us. To me it just a big red flag that they are asking to move in right away. As it should be for anyone under any circumstance.
 lovelyncozy
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Taking care of a parent
Posted: 8/3/2011 5:49:10 AM
I would like a guys point of view on this matter. I have been alive in caregiver for my Mom for a while now. Between my brother and I we do our best to keep her out of a home for as long as we can. She don’t want to go to a home, but that day will come soon as her health and independence is declining. We feel why pay why pay between 2000 and 3000 a month for her to be in Assisted Living if she for the most part can still be fairly independent at this point. All she really needs help with the cleaning, cooking, correctly taking her meds and showers. I am still free to come and go as I please. I can’t go out of town for long periods of time, but that isn’t an issue for me. I made this choice knowing fully what I was getting into. When I moved back from Seattle in 200 to help keep her out of home she wasn’t doing good at all and she wasn’t expected to be living for too much longer. Well I guess I did my job pretty darn good because even with her health declining, she is doing 100 times better then she was 11 years ago!

In the past it hasn’t really been an issue, but lately I am finding that it is either 50/50. Half of the guys I have been meeting in all sorts of places find it as baggage or they think meal ticket. The ones that think of it as baggage pretty much either just stop talking to me or they tell me right then and there that is not anything I want to get into. Some say it as if I said anything remotely close to me saying that they need to take on the responsibility. I never do, it for my brother and I to make sure she has what she needs. Then there are the ones who view it a s meal ticket. They start to push for a relationship and start hinting that they are wanting to move into my house. They get upset when I tell them that when next summer comes my Mom is going to move in with my brother and I will get my own place with JUST my daughter and I. (I don’t want to have my daughter change schools in the middle of the school year, plus I can put more into my savings) Needless to say they are kicked to the curb without giving it a second thought.
 
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