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 Author Thread: Single parents, are they abusing the welfare system?
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 165 (view)
 
Single parents, are they abusing the welfare system?
Posted: 8/16/2011 8:27:27 PM
wow, two years and this thread is still kick'n. I've got alot more reading to do and then I'll comment. Glad I came back
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
can u help
Posted: 3/9/2010 1:37:09 PM
I think forcing her to be around the gf is wrong. she needs to see her dad but forcing her to be around the gf is only going to create problems. she will get used to her or not in her own time.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Sick and tired of it
Posted: 3/8/2010 6:38:02 AM
introduce her to my ex, they sound like twins
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
need advice about toddlers and glasses
Posted: 3/7/2010 6:36:16 PM
my youngest got his glasses at 2 years old. It only took a few days for him to realize he could see better with them and wasn't a problem getting him to wear them. he has the ones that hook around his ears so they don't fall off.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Lost a Pregnant
Posted: 3/4/2010 6:25:23 PM
xtc, he doesn't have any rights. she can have it or not, keep it or not, keep it and file for child support, put it up for adoption. he has no say in the matter at all. There is no loop hole, only a hole he should have stayed away from if he didn't want a baby.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Telling me what i should or shouldnt do with my child?
Posted: 12/29/2009 4:52:51 PM
^ good one

damn it, too short, blah blah, lol
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Telling me what i should or shouldnt do with my child?
Posted: 12/29/2009 4:06:11 PM

why do people feel they need to do that like they know better than you?


this is the norm in the forums
but I'd just tell them to MYOB when it come to your kids.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Gurgle gurgle what?
Posted: 12/28/2009 5:42:14 PM
my daughter says tonight " it's freezing like ice birds" I think she meant icebergs.lol
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Bye Bye Crib?
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:15:05 PM
I got mine beds when they started climbing out of the crib. They were walking but I don't remember how old they were, except the youngest. He was 1 1/2 when he started climbing out and I was afraid he'd fall on the wood floors so I got him a toodler bed.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Ex's babies obituary
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:06:34 PM
I agree, don't jump to conclusions. Her profile also says single mom with to great boys. the no kids thing may have been a mistake. shoot I've seen people mistake their gender in their profiles, lol.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Pedophiles and protecting your child
Posted: 12/17/2009 5:09:34 PM
If they are going to delete all the OPs posts then they should delete the thread. Whats the question? nobody knows. Just delete it moderator, it's just a chat topic now.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
child support and visitation
Posted: 12/14/2009 10:45:10 AM
I agree that it's not right that they are so quick to order CS but not visitation. It's just not quite right.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
reasons for blocking visitation?
Posted: 12/12/2009 2:14:11 PM
my ex was denied unsupervised visitation because of drug use and any visitation she does get is at my discretion
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Am I Wrong???
Posted: 12/12/2009 2:02:29 PM
good job man , do all you can to keep your kid safe. kids don't need to be raised around convicts, sorry thats my opinion.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Cereal in the bottle..
Posted: 12/12/2009 8:59:25 AM
The only thing I added to the bottle was baby food bananas, peach and other fruits to give a little variety to the formula.

I don't see adding cereal as being a choke hazard
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
single dad for advice
Posted: 12/12/2009 8:20:44 AM
so far everyone here is right. you need to establish some kind of disipline.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
welfare suggestions for single parents - your ideas.
Posted: 12/12/2009 7:54:32 AM
Many of you just think you have all the answers. But it's not as easy as you think.

I never so much as collected unemployment in my life, I figured I could find a new job before I got a check. When my son was born I was making about 2000 a week and already had 3 kids at home. I brought him home at 2 days old. He was unable to go to daycare till he was two months old (first shots). So I lost my job, which was a 24 hour call type of job. They asked if I would still be able to jump and go on a phone call and the answer was no. I had to get help till I could find another job that would allow me to get my kids to daycare and school, work, and pick them up everyday. It is hard enough to find a good job nowdays but when there are conditions it is harder. I never planned to have to change carreers. Early drop off for daycare here is 6:30 and my daughter can't be dropped off at school any earlier than 7:30. So I can't be to work before 8:00 and the kids need to be picked up at 6:00. Which leaves me only being able to work between 8 and 5. Most jobs in my field want me there earlier or want me there later or both. These aren't excuses, they are facts. Also I have doctors and other meeting that I have to be able to go to for the kids and some employers won't deal with that. Which has brought me to realize if I want to work the hours I want and still be able to get to appointments I have to be self employed and biulding a business isn't easy either and takes time.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
single parents?
Posted: 12/12/2009 7:37:15 AM
I'm single and a parent so that makes me a single parent. Just because the mother is still alive, how is that insulting to widows/widowers? What else would I be? I've never been married or divorsed. The mother has given up her parenting rights so I am the sole provider. Not to be mean or rude but what makes widows/widowers better or more deserving of holding the title of single parent? Sorry for the loss but I've had loss too. I never planned to raise my kids alone. If they want a title that includes only them, come up with another. Or come up with one for single parents that aren't widows. I'm at a loss, I don't understand whats insulting about it all. It also sounds like she is saying she is better or above other single parents because she is a widow. It really suck for her loosing her SO but it sucks for us to, maybe even more because we have no closure and have to deal with all the BS and drama. Shes made this a hard topic because I do feel for her.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 269 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 12/10/2009 9:11:53 PM
too bad a dna test wouldn't prove her not the mother.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
christmas and grandma...
Posted: 12/10/2009 8:16:55 PM
ditto

oh and give his ex a snowball from me
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is it safe for a man to date a woman with children or should he bail?
Posted: 12/10/2009 6:33:44 PM
your best bet with thoughts like this are to stay away from single moms and don't have kids period. something is definitely wrong here. I think you've been having some thoughts you shouldn't be having and need to stay away from kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
christmas and grandma...
Posted: 12/10/2009 5:59:48 PM
Nevaehs_mom, What makes you think the kids would want to sacrifice their christmas with dad and the cousins, plans that have already been made and weren't able to do last year because they were with mom. I've heard this man called unreasonable, mean jacka$$, a-hole, jerk and I'd have to read again to find more. I think you all are the ones being unreasonable. The kids haven't been with dad for christmas in 2 years and you want him to sacrifice THE KIDS TIME with his family. I think the mother and grandmother are the stupid ones for not making their plans better. Christmas isn't for 2 weeks, what she can't change her plans and have grandma come sooner or later. You expect him to be the flexible one when he offered an option. He doesn't have to. You all say he is being selfish, wrong. She is, by expecting the kids to be with her another year and make him wait. Oh and you say it's about the kids. How fair is it to the kids not to have christmas with their dad for three years or maybe four if you expect her to have them next year too, being that it's her year. Oh hell, lets just say it's best for the kids to have christmas every year with poor mom and grandma.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
christmas and grandma...
Posted: 12/9/2009 5:38:42 PM
Nevaehs_mom, I bet she wouldn't allow him at her house last year for christmas. And why would you want to bring together a bunch of people that don't get along in front of the kids? Yea, lets just ruin christmas for everyone including the kids. Bad Idea.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Bullying
Posted: 12/9/2009 4:45:00 PM
Here in Tampa it's a tough city and there are police at the school everyday, all day.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
single parents?
Posted: 12/9/2009 4:14:39 PM
I to am sorry for your loss but not only widows and widowers are single parents. I can say everything that you did. I am their sole provider. and they live with me 24/7, 365 days a year. I have not come on here whining not even once about my situation. I love my kids and love raising them.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
child support and visitation
Posted: 12/9/2009 11:30:13 AM

To further this discussion, I'm curious if you think they should be granted together. What I mean is, if child support is sought, should visitation automatically be granted? Or should courts cease automatically ordering child support when visitation is sought?


No, this would not work. Because, if the NCP can't have visitation for whatever reason they still owe CS. So what, if the are violent and drug addicts that would abuse the kids and can't have visitation, they don't have to pay child support? No that's not right. It has to stay seperate.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
christmas and grandma...
Posted: 12/9/2009 11:21:26 AM
This is why there is a schedule set up. He didn't have his girls last year, and what, he is supposed to give up this year too because the ex didn't schedule her families visit properly? I say he spends christmas with his girls, cause he has waited two years to have christmas with them. It's only fair. I feel sorry for the grandma but she had two years to plan and knew he would have the girl this year.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 12/8/2009 6:28:51 PM
I think that one thing people forget is that men and women get dropped, and dumped before they had kids and it's just a fact of life that not every person you choose or are attracted to are going to feel the same. So you have kids, not everyone is into dating someone with kids. Hey some don't like bald men or heavy women or whatever. It's just life and the more you dwell on your " short comings" or things you can't change the harder it is going to be to find the right one for you.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Step -ping into it with teenagers !
Posted: 12/8/2009 6:17:25 PM
sorry church, I agree in some cases but not all. I've had a few teens in my houses but my house my rules and some of them have come back and thanked me for keeping them in line and stopping their foolish ways.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Step -ping into it with teenagers !
Posted: 12/8/2009 5:30:12 PM
Sounds like your on the right path. You took your time getting to know her and now you are together. Just be their friend but don't let them walk all over you.and you'll most likely earn their respect.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 307 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 12/8/2009 5:25:31 PM
hahahahha, common sense and logic in CS system. Good one. lol
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 304 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 12/8/2009 4:43:18 PM
Here in tampa if the NCP has no job the CS is calculated as if she/he has a minimum wage job.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
child support and visitation
Posted: 12/8/2009 4:40:39 PM
8 posts and eveyone agrees so far. I agree with everyone so far
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
dogs and kids.. your views
Posted: 12/6/2009 6:53:16 PM
Lets fish,

There are a few behaviors that may arise, fromthem being taken to young. One would be like a poodle I had as a kid. He was taken from his mom to young and he developed a habit of sucking on a blaanket. he would nurse it like he would have with his mom. He would knead the blanket with his paws and suck on the blanket or any of his stuffed animals if the blanket wasn't around. He lived to 18 years and had this habit his whole life. There is more but thats a whole nother forum topic.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
AHHHH SANTA!
Posted: 12/6/2009 12:24:41 PM
I take my kids to International Plaza in tampa. They have the best santa I've seen, real beard, real glasses, and no pillow or extra padding to fake the jolly old fella, haha.

When I was growing up in Hawaii, santa was at the mall in a aloha shirt, shorts and sandles, haha.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 12/4/2009 11:05:26 AM
glad things went well for you at the meeting and good luck in the future.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 285 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 12/3/2009 4:16:07 PM
probably only need one
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Is it me or do most single females run from single dads when they dont have kids?
Posted: 12/2/2009 3:24:22 PM
Raising kids is the woman's job shes supposed to be the primary caregiver

And I guess we are going to go backwards and say dishes, laundry, cooking, sewing, etc. is womans work too?


they will revert back to the normal gender roles

normal gender roles? again are we going backwards? I never converted so how is there a reverting for me? I've always done my share of house work and child care in my house and I'm sure there are others that do the same. women say they can do anything a man can do, so I too say I can do anything a woman can do. Lets stop being sexist here, this isn't the 30's.


So the woman will be burdened with raising another womans child

burdened? Any woman that felt my kids were a "burden" would be steppin right on out of our lives. I would not burden anyone with my kids.


raising another woman's kids was hard work with no glory

one of my kids is a stepchild and yes hard work but no glory? I am not looking for glory, I just want everyone to be happy and healthy. You don't receive a prize at the end other that the gratification of doing a good job in giving someone the ability to prosper in their own life.

I'm not saying that some single dads aren't preferable dates but there are some that are. potters you stereotype people in every thread you post in just to get a rise out of people and you know what? I'm not one of them, I see through your bitter sexist stereotyping and if anyone feels the same way you do I feel sorry for them and you. I bet in ten years if I come back you will still be here puttin g people down and lonely single loser. God help you, you need it. Peace.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 12/2/2009 1:04:21 PM
probably closer to 88 % but it was just a point he was trying to make
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 12/2/2009 1:00:36 PM
keep your chinup dude. I'm in that 1 % and many other fathers here on POF. Just do what you need to do for you and your son to be happy. Good luck at your meeting
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 12/2/2009 12:49:03 PM
I have to agree NAV, if he does like he says he will he'll be ok. Just keep your cool even if they don't.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Is it me or do most single females run from single dads when they dont have kids?
Posted: 12/2/2009 10:11:30 AM

Men defer to women, when it comes to caring for children. We may be active participants in the child raising department, but the women are the coaches: The last say is with her, always.


maybe for you. I have to disagree, I know alot of women that don't havea clue how to raise kids. And I for one don't need a woman to coach me on how to raise kids and I'm sure there are many other single dads on here that would agree.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 12/2/2009 9:13:18 AM
I guess I'd better be careful how I post so mine aren't cleaned up too.
Op, IN MY CASE, DCF made her go to rehab( forcing someone to clean up doesn't work) and made both of us do counseling. She admited it was all her fault in sessions. Stating she cheated, lied, manipulated, and did drugs on my dollar. She admited that all her actions were the cause of our break up. She even said I was great for giving her chance after chance. But guess what, It didn't change anything she continued because there was nobody she was going to listen to, even the judge. She was going to do things her way regardless of the conciquences. So in the end they gave me the kids because she wouldn't comply with dcf or the courts. I'm not saying your ex is that way, but some people are and won't listen to anyone. After all I went through, I won't suggest counseling in a situation like this. Counseling is only good whne both parties want help to straighten out some problems in their lives that they both want to find a solution to. Couseling won't help if only one party wants help, It just doesn't work. As soon as the sessions over , things go back to the same old same old. Youve now paid the therypists morgage for that month and still are unhappy. At least with it going before a judge you'll get a finally answer, good or bad it will be over. I suffered for my kids for six years and yes it was worth it. But I didn't have the money to fight. I had to wait for them to give her chance after chance to be a good mom and after six years they finally said , ok enough is enough.

Nav he may be a po'd guy but if he's not this is how I feel. So Op if you are just mad and/or jealous then maybe counseling is the answer, but just for you to get a grip on the fact that you ex has a new life and your kid is going to be a part of it. So in this case you may need help in figuring out how to coop and find a way to be the best dad for your son with out becoming his problem. Cause all this anger is going to make him unhappy. I'm one to see both sides but in this case and many in the forums we only hear one side and have to us our best judgement to post on the info given
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Military Life and the Single Parent?
Posted: 12/1/2009 7:52:54 PM
I'm going to try to give you my opinion without being hard on you. You should have thought about the military before you had kids.Now It really isn't fair to the kids. You would be running out on them and possibly splitting them up and leaving them with people that won't be caring for them to the best of their ability. Being aparent sometimes requires sacrifice and I don't mean sacrificing your kids.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Dear God stop touching that!
Posted: 12/1/2009 6:53:26 PM
and you'll still be saying "stop touching that" lol. Only it won't be a tree.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 12/1/2009 5:04:30 PM
A few have said court and a few have said not.
I was one that said yes because

Talking to his ex is not working
the ex and her SO are undermining his ability to be a father
what is the alternitive?
If he keeps going the road he is on he might as well just give his kid a kiss goodbye and step out of the picture altogether
as a father that hasn't had his parental rights taken his opinion does count and right now it doesn't. There needs to be a meadiator and in my opinion that would be a judge not a counseler.

just my opinion, counselers did nothing in my case at all, except prolong it. monthes and months of it for nothing except spreading dollars around.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Embarrassing moments brought to you by your kids
Posted: 11/29/2009 7:29:53 PM
Tonight while my mom was visiting we all went to Hyde park village. It's an upperclass shopping village with very expencive shops and restaurants. As we walked by one of these restaurants with it's outside dining area, my 6 year old says in a very loud outside voice, " eeeewwww, it stinks over there" as about 20 people eating looked over at us. I couldn't help but laugh.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 11/29/2009 3:04:28 PM
I really don't know why everyone is arguing the topic. As if you didn't know already that with kids or without, black, white, chinese, alcoholic, drug addict or what ever, there is going to be some that will and some that won't and there is nothing wrong with it either way. The topics are only brought up by people that are bummed that they are having a hard time finding the ones that will.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 11/29/2009 12:29:11 PM
He probably feels that at school meetings and such, it will be two against one and his opinion will be voted out and his opinion is valid when it comes to his son.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Parental duties and the third wheel.
Posted: 11/28/2009 9:03:09 AM
different battlefield, the court room. I don't think your " trust divorce" is working for you, maybe for her but you and your family are being cast aside. You are allowing it and it's not going to get any better, probably worse. No guaranteed worse. Matters that include your son are betweeen you, her and your son. He is not her husband yet so matters of your son aren't his responcibility. Your visitation needs to be revamped to allow you some of the holidays and birthdays. It's only fair, that way your family can see him too. Untill then just have your own parties and holiday for him when he is at your place. I did thanksgiving for my kids and exs family thursday and am doing it again today for my family so there will be no tension. The kids like it cause they get double holidays.
 
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